2012-2013 Issue 4

TheUkiahilite Volume XXXVII Tyler Biscocho

Issue 4

February 1, 2013

Ne w Ye a r, Ne w Pro b l e m s

Staff Writer

The United States was long approaching the fiscal cliff, an end to the Bush era tax cuts for Americans, as lawmakers in Washington D.C. found themselves gridlocked over key issues on how to prevent the upcoming storm.

Democrats and Republicans alike refused to back down on their points.

Democrats pushed for an extension of the tax breaks for middle and low income individuals and families, but advocated allowing them to expire for high income earners.

Republicans, on the other hand, vowed not to pass any tax code that would place “unfair taxes” on wealthy Americans.

President Barack Obama did attempt to intervene by calling negotiations between Democratic and Republican leaders; however, most of these attempts failed.

As the New Year’s deadline grew closer and continued attempts at brokering a compromise faltered, Americans looked to lawmakers in desperation.

On New Year’s Eve, Vice President Joe Biden, along with Democratic leaders in the Senate, worked through the day and well into the night to provide the Senate with a compromise on which to vote.

As people celebrated the turn of a new year, the United States passed its fiscal cliff deadline set for midnight on January 1, 2013.

At 2:00 A.M. EST on New Year’s Day, however, the U.S. Senate, passed legislation to prevent the devastating increase in taxes from occurring Later that day, the House of Representatives passed the legislation into law despite speculation that the Republican led House might attempt to amend it, sending it back to the Senate and further delaying action.

Had action by lawmakers been contin-

ually delayed, the expiration of the Bush era tax cuts would have caused a dramatic increase in taxes for all Americans come April 6, tax day.

Speculators voiced opinions that such a dramatic increase in taxes could throw America back into recession.

As debates raged on Capitol Hill, Wall Street numbers depicted traders’ anticipation of the fiscal cliff deadline.

For example, when the US House of Representatives rejected President Obama’s tax plan to originally extend tax cuts to all but the top 2% of American wage earners, the Dow Jones Industrial fell in stocks by 92 points.

However, when the stocks reopened on

involved a highly controversial issue of sequestration or the cutting back of military and non-military discretionary spending.

Under the fiscal cliff, sequestration would have occurred causing dramatic drawbacks of 110 billion dollars per year split evenly between defense and non-defense discretionary spending.

Sequestration would also impact other things besides military spending, however.

Under the budget cuts, other necessities, including the Department of Education would have seen drastic reductions in its funding.

An article appearing on the PBS News Hour web page back in December quoted Iowa Senator Tom Harkin who claimed

January 2nd, following the passage of the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012 (fiscal cliff deal) and a recess for New Year’s Day, the Dow Jones rose a full 308 points not dipping into loss once the entire day.

With the passage of the fiscal cliff deal, Congress averted forcing taxpayers to pay a large amount of reinstated taxes.

However, Congress has only delayed the U.S. financial problems.

Another side to the fiscal cliff problem

over $44 million dollars to chronically struggling schools would be lost resulting in 200,000 less teachers receiving professional development training.

Another staggering number given in Senator Harkin’s report focused on many graduating seniors around the country estimating that 1.8 million fewer students would be able to receive need-based grants from the government.

For graduating seniors and even juniors

News: UKiah Yes Trip

Sports: Swimming & Track

who are looking for aid from their financial crunches of college, losing federal aid dollars could be disastrous.

Furthermore, funds that would otherwise be set aside for national internal improvement projects would also be lost.

As part of the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012, sequestration was delayed until March when Congress will once again enter heated debates over the debt ceiling.

Mr. Silva-Brown, Ukiah High AI, AP Comparative Government, and AP US History teacher, offered a simple explanation for Congress’ actions.

“There is nothing significant about March. It’s just them [Congress] kicking the can down the road,” said Brown when asked about why sequestration was pushed back only to March.

March is promising for a boiling pot of political fervor on Capitol Hill as Congress will attempt to readdress the issue of sequestration and the budget’s debt ceiling.

For the most part, economic dangers relating to the fiscal cliff, specifically a double-dip recession, have passed.

“It was a possibility. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that it should happen at this point,” said Brown on the likelihood of a double-dip recession. “It is important to understand that if the economy falters it will be due to politics, not economics.”

Currently, Congress has diverted its attention to other issues including the controversy surrounding gun control and providing aid for Hurricane Sandy.

As these debates rage on Capitol Hill, Americans breathed a sigh of relief that Congress was able to reach some kind of agreement.

However, the fiscal cliff, more precisely debates over sequestration, will return to the forefront of Congress’ woes in a few short months.

What’s inside...

A&E: New Restuarants

Humor: Valentine’s Day

Page 2

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News

Feb. 1, 2013

Page 3

YES Trip Provides New Experiences Miss Mendocino Fervor Grips Ukiahi Kaley Keiser

Staff Writer

This spring, juniors and seniors at Ukiah High have the opportunity to go on the Disney Youth Education Series (YES) trip.

Miss Ashleigh Hoyt, a World History teacher here at the high school is orchestrating the trip and planned the itinerary and fundraising for the trip.

There are two trips: one from April 2427th, and the second one from May 1-4th with a total of 90 students going on each trip.

The trips are open to the first 90 students who signed up.

The students going on the trip will be in Southern California for three days.

“The trip will cost $300 dollars per student; it is my goal for the students to each raise at least half of the cost for them to go on the trip.

We will be doing a lot of fundraising, including selling chocolate bars off campus, have an Applebee’s night, and sell Papa Murphy’s Pizza cards. We are also planning to do a lot more fundraising now that it is after winter break,” said Miss Hoyt.

While on the trip, students will be able to participate in the Disney Youth Education Series class, which is focused on using the students’ personal leadership skills and teaching them to apply their skills in a team setting. It also emphasizes maintaining the importance and the diversity along with the respect for the ideas and contributions of others.

These exercises will also help display and develop communication skills, as well as teaching students how to lead and complete a project while keeping a positive attitude and outlook.

The class takes an interactive approach to keep the students engaged while piquing their curiosity and causing them to use their imaginations to accomplish their goals.

They will be encouraged to apply creative thinking and new ideas along with different approaches to solve problems that they may

face in the future.

The program gives the students and teacher a hands-on unique experience not found anywhere else.

There are guided educational field studies in everything such as applied sciences, environmental studies, liberal arts and, of course, leadership development.

The Disney Youth Education Program is open to students in sixth through twelfth grade and helps provide them with helpful skills they can use throughout their lives.

It boosts their confidence and prepares them for what lies ahead.

They will also visit the Discovery Center at the Reagan Library, which focuses on inspiring students and allows them to face the challenges and responsibilities presented by the Executive Branch, the military, and the media.

Students will even have the unique opportunity to role play the scenarios based around the military action that was taken in Grenada in 1983.

The invasion of Grenada which was codenamed “Operation Urgent Fury” was a USled invasion of the small Caribbean island of Grenada that was triggered by a military coup.

The US claimed victory within weeks of arriving in Grenada.

Students will also be given the opportunity to take on the roles of advisors to the president, members of the White House Press Corps, President Reagan, or top level military officials.

The exercise is designed to improve their critical thinking and help them in situations where they need to make fast-paced decisions.

They will also spend time at the Disneyland amusement park where they will spend some time going on rides, shopping for souvenirs and spending some quality bonding time with each other.

The trip will be a wonderful experience and a great opportunity for students to gain helpful skills before they graduate and they will be able to use for the rest of their lives.

Shania Robertson

Section Editor

The annual Miss Mendocino Pageant will take place this February in Ukiah High’s Cafetorium.

This year’s structural pageant, directed by Verna Jacobs, will be held this Saturday on February 2, 2013.

Contestants must abide by a contemporary list of qualifications in order to participate, such as never being married, not being over 24 years old and so forth.

This years competitors include Megan Arana, Michaela Donohue, Renee Loren and Ukiah High’s own Maddy Krompman, Rachel Duncan, Jill Santos, Mariana Burns, Olivia Polkinghorne, Kinderlynn Shields, and Kyndal Houston.

Participants must complete a talent portion of the competition (worth 35%), an Evening Gown portion (worth 20%), and an interview portion (worth 25%), followed by an onstage interview in which they are judged on overall first impression (worth 5%).

Finally, a Lifestyle and Physical Fitness portion, (worth 15%) will come into play as the judges also analyze on over all first impression.

Miss Mendocino contestants all compete for a grand prize in scholarship money that, in this day and age, can go a long way.

Applicants will have to give the judges insight on their educational goals, political views, extra curricular activities, and be more than able to speak correctly and opinionated on current events.

They will also have to be skilled in simultaneously answering on-the-spot questions related to the community.

The winner will depend on who the judges

feel best suits all requirements in representing Mendocino County proudly.

Judges will also pay serious attention to those who give back to the community the most.

Most contestants excel at this by donating money to local businesses or charities, and some donate hundreds of hours of their time to the local Plow Shares, Animal Shelters, etc.

First place winner will compete in larger judging arenas where she will go on to represent Miss California in the Miss America pageant.

Every participating contestant will win scholarship money based on the level of placement.

Other categories awarded to participants include Miss Congeniality, and a trophy for the person who raises the most money during the year leading up to the competition.

Last year alone, $17,000 dollars was awarded to the placing contestants.

Last year’s winning contestant was Ukiah High’s own Herron Spence.

Spence won a total of $9,000 in scholarship money to spend at the college of her choice.

Herron Spence went on to compete in Miss California in Fresno last June. On the night of Miss Mendocino, Herron will crown the new Miss Mendocino for 2013.

Like Herron, the new Miss Mendocino will make several appearacnes at local venues and county wide events during the course of her reign.

Tickets may be purchased anytime at Mendocino Book Company for $20 or at the doors the night of the pageant.

Photo Credit - www.polyvore.com

AnnouncementS February 5/6, CAHSEE (all sophomores and seniors who may still need to pass) February 8, Winterfest February 8, Registration deadline for March SAT/subject tests February 9, ACT February 15, Lincoln’s birthday, no school March 16, ***UHS MUSIC DEPARTMENT ANNUAL February 18, Presidents Day, no school

SPRING FUNDRAISING EVENT*** March 2, deadline for FAFSA, MUST be postmarked!

March 8, ACT registration deadline for April exam March 9, SAT/subject tests March 12/13, CAHSEE (senior and sophmore make-ups) March 15, end of third quarter March 16, CHSPE

Opinions

Page 4

Feb. 1, 2013

Should There be Gun Control in the U.S.? UKIAHILITE Trevor Oldham STAFF Staff Writer

It is sad and embarrassing that it takes the death of twenty elementary school children and six teachers to open the eyes of the American people and reinvigorate the debate over gun-control that should have been resolved decades ago.

The rate of gun murder in the US clocked in at 3.2 deaths per 100,000 people, which makes us the 26th worst nation in terms of gun violence, behind nations such as Jamaica, Guatemala, and Honduras.

As if that is not shocking enough, we are an outlier among other developed nations such as Australia, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Canada, Germany, Sweden, England, and Japan, few of which go above 0.5 deaths per 100,000.

This rate of gun death is unacceptable, and contrary to what the National Rifle Association says, instituting new regulations on assault rifles, extended magazines, and background checks will be a boon to public safety, and will certainly not infringe on our rights.

The common argument heard from gun enthusiasts and seen on Facebook newsfeeds is that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people;’ but, in reality, this is little more than a shallow adage. David

Hemenway, a prominent social scientist at Harvard published an excellent series of studies from the late 1990s to the the early 2000s to analyze the relationship between the availability of guns and homicide rates.

By analyzing 26 different developed nations, including the US, Hemenway found that the legal availability of guns was, in fact, directly correlated to higher rates of homicide.

In a similar and even more conclusive study, he showed that even controlling for socioeconomic factors such as age, urbanization, and poverty, states in the US with more gun availability did, in fact, have higher rates of homicide.

Hemenway also showed that the use of firearms as a self-defense technique is vastly over sensationalized. Usually these reports of “self defense” are actually just the escalation of a domestic conflict or other quarrel that resulted in fear, which causes people to reach for guns.

Mental health reforms may stop some shootings before they occur, but it is does nothing to remedy the epidemic of deaths caused by gang shootings and other criminal activity, domestic violence, drunken bar fights, accidents, or heat of passion killings.

The pure and simple fact is that guns facilitate murder, and increasing regulation would make it harder to obtain a gun, which

would in turn reduce the amount of firearm killings. The 2nd amendment stands as one of the major impediments of the gun control movement.

It reads “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

It is interesting to note that up until the 2008, the Supreme Court viewed the first mandate (dubbed the militia clause) as dominant over the individual arms clause.

That is to say that up until District of Columbia v. Heller in 2008 (which only grants us the right to keep handguns), the Supreme Court did not interpret the law to mean that each individual has a right to a firearm.

Thus, the right to bear arms is not nearly as deeply rooted in our culture as we pretend it is. When constitutional rights pose a clear and present danger to public safety, the government can curb them as precedented

by Schenck v. United States.

So why has the government not intervened and instituted some semblance of regulation? Why is it so hard for gun toting Americans to part with their assault rifles and thirty round magazines for the sake of public safety?

When we can answer that question, we will have solved the problem.

Should There Not be Gun Control in the U.S.?

Alex Malarich

Staff Writer

Gun control.

It is a big issue now. Especially after the recent school shooting in Connecticuit.

But should we really be controlling what guns people can and cannot have? Should we have laws that say a person cannot under any circumstances own a gun?

Or even laws saying that guns can only be held by a very, very specific people?

The answer is no.

Guns are, by the very nature of the Bill of Rights, a major cornerstone of our country. They should be available to anyone who wants to put forth the effort to get one.

To deny the right to own and use guns is to deny a part of what America stands for. And if one thing falls, what part of our country will go next?

But what of gun control? What of limiting the ability to get guns?

To make it difficult for the populace to get a hold of them rather than completely impossible? No. Limiting what guns a person can or cannot get takes away one of the basic rights of an American.

But more than that, it would not have any effect. When has controlling things ever stopped criminals?

If this would be such an “effective way to stop guns killing people” then how will it stop the killing? In the same maner, banning certain drugs has stopped people from getting them?

“What strict gun laws will do is take the level of police statism, lawlessness and general social pathology up a notch in the same way Prohibition and the Drug War have done. I’d expect a War on Guns to expand the volume of organized crime, and to empower criminal gangs fighting over control over the black market, in exactly the same way Prohibition did in the 1920s and strict drug laws have done since the 1980s.” said Kevin Carson at CounterPunch.

Gun control will not take guns off the street. It may save a few lives short term but in the long run, it will only create more gangs that specialize in trading them.

It will create a society where criminals will know that they can do whatever they want without having to worry about people being able to defend themselves.

“The challenge with gun laws is that by

definition criminals do not follow the law,” said Alex Conant to a Tampa Bay Times reporter.

However, guns are useful for more than one reason. They can be used for recreation or as a tool.

People can use them as a form of self protection, and, yes, they can be used as a weapon.

But at their base, a gun is simply an item.

It is what we, the people, do with them that make the reputation of guns what it is. And our government should be able to trust the citizenry with them.

“As the Founding Fathers knew well, a government that does not trust its honest, law-abiding, taxpaying citizens with the means of self-defense is not itself worthy of trust.

Laws disarming honest citizens proclaim that the government is the master, not the servant, of the people.” said Jeff Snyder in A Nation of Cowards.

So yes, something does need to be done about people killing people. We need to find a way to stop it.

Banning or controlling guns is not the answer. All that would do is lead to tyranny by the people that do possess them.

Volume XXXVI Issue 4 Feb. 1, 2013 EDITORS IN CHIEF Danny Selzer, Sydney Walls ASSISSANT EDITOR Julie-Beth Roberts HUMOR Hugh Pegan NEWS Julie-Beth Roberts OPINIONS Shania Robertson ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Sydney Summers Knight CENTERSPREAD Jenna Hester SPORTS Benjamin Cayler ADVERTISEMENT Danny Selzer PHOTO Robert Kelly ADVISOR Valerie Warda STAFF Andrew Anderson, Charles Barrett, Tyler Bisocho, Mariana Burns, Taylor Cameron, Tess Clausen, Kaley Keiser, Robert Kelly, Delaney Kindopp, Alex Malarich, Jesse Neale, Monica Newell, Sarah Niderost, Bryon Nocross, Trevor Oldham, T. Abe Rawles, Jose Recendiz, Kayanat Rehman, Katie Reingold, Luke Robinson, Ashlynn Rose, Lorena Saucedo, Rafael Villalobos, Victoria Yanez

Letters to the Editor The Ukiahilite accepts letters to the editors. The Ukiahilite reserves the right to edit letters for length. Letters must be signed in order to be printed.

The Ukiahilite may be contacted at ukiahilite@uusd.net or by mail to 1000 Low Gap Road, Ukiah, CA, 95482.

Feb. 1, 2013

Opinions

Secrets Of Sydney Sydney Walls It’s cold. Like really cold. I hate the kind of cold when it’s just plain cold and not raining or foggy or anything. Just cold.

One of the benefits of it being winter is that drinking coffee always tastes so good.

When it’s hot outside drinking a warm drink just isn’t the same. I do miss summer though, so come back soon!

I’ve come to realize that there is absolutely one thing that drives me insane: tearing paper out of a notebook. I can never ever tear it perfectly. Whenever I try, I always end up getting the little frilly things stuck to the paper, and for some reason it really drives me crazy.

I wish I could tear paper perfectly, and I also wish I could cut paper straight. I am just so bad at it.

Maybe there will be a class I can take in college that will help me with my tearing paper and cutting paper needs. I understand I could easily just buy paper and keep it in my binder, but for some reason I feel like that is

cheating.

The New Year brings new excitement and new beginnings. For those who made New Year Resolutions, I hope they are working out for you! I have never made a New Year’s Resolution, but maybe because I feel like I can never keep them.

I always pledge to exercise more, or worry less, or shop for clothes less, but I never seem to be able to stick with it. I’m just too lazy, worry too much, and love clothes.

Those who can keep them, more power

to you! I find it such an accomplishment when people keep their resolutions; maybe one day I can keep one too!

So, my friend Sydney Summers and I were talking about labels and love. She brought up a good point; she said that she doesn’t understand that if a person loves someone, no matter the gender, why there has to be a label on them. Whoever a person may love is up to them; love is love. And love is a beautiful thing.

Speaking of love, Valentine’s Day is coming up. I don’t really understand the point of Valentine’s Day. It is just a holiday to make money. If you think about it, flowers, cards, and chocolate sales hit an all-time high on Valentine’s Day. I am all about expressing love, but I don’t know why people can’t celebrate the love they have for another more than one day of the year.

I’m sure many people do celebrate their love more than one day, but I just feel like the meaning of Valentine’s Day is lost and now too commercialized. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always fun to be spoiled on Valentine’s Day. I just prefer to celebrate my love every day of the year, rather than just on February 14.

I miss being a little girl in Elementary School handing out Valentine’s to everyone in the class. I was always just happy getting the dorky little cards with cartoon charactrs on them.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, go read my friend Abe’s humor story about Valentine’s day. He wouldn’t let me see it yet, but from what I heard from him, it’s.. interesting.

Props to you, Abe. Sticking up for what you believe in. Go Abe. Time is flying by so fast! School is over in less than five months. It seems like yesterday was just the first day of school.

Time flies by so fast.

So, tomorrow night is the Miss Mendocino competition and it will be held here at Ukiah High. I have many friends running this year and I wish all the contestants good luck!

Can’t wait to see it tomorrow night and see Miss Mendocino 2013 crowned! Have a great Friday everyone!

Page 5

Books to Movies Mariana Burns

Staff Writer

There has been an ongoing debate on which is better: A movie or a book?

More specifically, a movie based on a book.

Too many people in today’s society have only ever picked up a book to read because it was required of them by their teachers or parents.

There are only a select few who actually read for pleasure. So, when it all comes down to it, they will obviously choose the movie over the book.

There is something wrong with that.

When one considers the obvious choices of movies based on books, such as the Harry P o t t e r Series, Lord of the Rings, and Alice in Wonderland, they usually think of the movie first, because of all the publicity that movie has received.

Movies are enjoyed more by visual learners. Filmed stories are used express situations visually rather than using one’s own imagination.

Movies are able to visualize scenes better for those who cannot envision a scene in their head.

Books, on the other hand, are much more descriptive. They have to be in order to describe a scene. For visual thinkers and those with a high imaginative capability, books are perfect.

Usually books are more for those who want to or do not mind thinking more. It takes thought to be able to imagine a scene in one’s head; while for movies, it takes next to none to sit in front of a TV. Movies are great when someone wants to relax for a few hours; but when it is over, that is that.

For a book, it can continue on and one can read the book over and over again without getting tired of reading the descriptiveness.

It is nearly impossible to properly visualize everything that happens in a book and condense it into a movie that takes only

two hours.

Like in the case of The Lord of the Rings, the writer thought to make the movies into multiple parts to try and make the movies follow the books as much as possible.

It was a good thing, but most people do not like sitting in front of a TV for an extended period of time and often get bored quickly when watching the same movie if it is long.

The fact of the matter is that books have a lot of descriptive imagery and movies are unable to convey all of that imagery in the short length of two hours at maximum.

Unless a movie is cut in half and made into two or more parts like the last Harry Potter movie When a movie that is based off a book is really bad, like Twilight, it makes the movie not as enjoyable and people often complain about wanting to get their two hours and the price of their ticket back.

When a movie rendition goes south, it is often said that the book is better than the movie, unless someone absolutely loves an actor in the movie, of course.

On the other hand, when a movie rendition is good, like the Harry Potter movies, especially The Prisoner of Azkaban, it helps the book to be positively publicized.

That way, both the book and the movie are looked at in a positive light, though many people would prefer the movie to the book so they do not have to “waste time” reading.

When it all comes down to it, the difference between a book and a movie are vastly different.

Everything about a book comes down to how well an author can describe a scene and imagination. It makes one create the picture.

As for movies, all one needs to do is watch it and enjoy the visualization. Ultimately, though, books are always better.

Why would someone decide to make a movie out of a book if it was not good?

Page 6

humor

Feb. 1, 2013

Feb. 1, 2013

T. Abraham Rawles

Humor Look Past the Hormones

Staff Writer

Oh Yeah! It is the loveliest time of the year; Valentines Day is coming up. Eewww!

Valentines Day in America is exaggerated.

The holiday, although, does have a beautiful side to it. It should be celebrated by people who have been together or in love for a certain period of time.

In America, especially in high schools, teenagers take the holiday to a whole new level that is so unnecessary. Sheesh!

On the Day of Love, look around.

There are all these people just making out. The day before V-day they probably did not even know each other’s last name.

Then the next thing the guy is grinding a girl up against on the wall.

Another factor that ruins Valentines Day is couples who claim they are in love when they truly are not.

Like after two weeks those couples will likely break up, hate each others’ guts,

and never talk to each other ever again.

Teenagers do not know what love is.

There is a difference between loving a person and being in love with a person.

Loving a person like a friend is entirely different than a girl or guy saying, “I am in love with Joey. “ People think they understand love and believe that they know what it means. People need to get some common sense and go look up the definition.

Now teenagers can be in love.

Couples, for example, who have been together since the 8th grade have confessed that they were in love, but were unaware they were.

To know what true love is and who a person’s soul mate takes years of ob-

servation that does not mean experience. Look at people around.

Elizabeth Taylor has had eight marriages, Kim Kardashian two, Jenifer Lopez three, Tom Cruise three, and Billy Bob Thornton five.

Here is a disturbing statistic; fifty- one percent of all marriages will go through a divorce. Finding true love or a soul mate is no walk in the park.

Va l e n t i n e s Day is important and sweet to those lucky people who actually have something to celebrate, for they have gone through good, bad, and ugly times together as one unit.

What is funny is when people claim that they have gotten struck by Cupid’s

Ham I Am

Page 7

arrow and are now in love with a person.

Those people obviously lack knowledge and are mistaken. Cupid has nothing to do with Valentines Day. Valentines Day is remembering the Christian Saint, Saint Valentinus.

Saint Valentinus was executed for holding weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to be married by the Catholic Church.

Cupid is the Greek God of love. Early in history people were persecuted for believing in Jesus in the Greek Empire. There were wars between these two nations.

It is guaranteed that Cupid the God of love is people have been mistaken and mislead to knowledge.

Now there is nothing wrong for having a Valentine or asking out a person on Valentines Day. It is sweet and cute.

Yes, it may be cheesy, but who is to judge? It is entirely different and not as embarrassing or foolish as a person claiming they are in love.

So, people, have a nice Valentines Day, but do not be a fool; put away the tool!

by: Trevor Oldham

Californianisms: Terms that you hear around here on a day to day basis that would draw strange looks from out-of-state folk.

When you actually examine the Northern Californian language, it becomes almost unintelligible.

Consider this typical conversation between two scholarly young gentlemen: “Yo dude, you down to disc after school?”

“Yeah I’m down, I got hella #@$% to do first, is it chill if I’m late?” “yee it’s chill, mob over whenever.”

Of course this isn’t a perfect example (Californians don’t care about being late) but you get the idea.

Around here, people, places, and situations can be “chill,” which is a rather vague blanket adjective meant to convey a sense of “alrightness.”

In essence, the language of a Ukiahan High School student is a cryptic and esoteric way to express simple ideas in a confusing and ambiguous fashion, which is why we are all so bad at making plans; we can’t understand each other.

How much information was exchanged here? Not much. It’s a simple conversation, but it will suffice because we are simple life forms.

This form of plebspeak is so basic in form because at our level of sophis-

tication, anything else is excessive.

We only need knowledge of rhetoric so that we can recognize when The New Yorker is making fun of us.

It has come to my attention that across the Pacific in Japan, the sale of adult diapers has surpassed the sales of baby diapers.

Demographers may come up with interesting facts or figures to explain this trend (which is supposed to indicate an unevenly aging population), but I think the explanation goes much deeper.

It seems that Japan has been milking the productivity of its working class citizens and office workers by eliminating bathroom breaks and mandating the use of adult diapers.

This is an economic policy that I could stand behind.

We could spring forth into a new period of unprecedented growth, if only the American people would let the welfare of the nation take priority over their individual com-

forts and rights to a private privy.

Judging by the condition of our school’s restrooms, I wouldn’t be surprised if the administrators are trying to steer us in the same direction.

They must have sizeable stock invested in Huggies.

That’s enough bathroom humor to satisfy the freshmen, so now let’s move on to the real content.

This summer, I will be venturing forth into the unforgiving wilderness of the John Muir Trail, a 220 mile trek along the crest of the Sierra Nevadas with the sole purpose of teaching Ben Cayler discipline.

I love the wilderness, and mountains in general.

In January I went snowboarding in Shasta, which was awesome except for the fact that I was taken advantage of by another corporate scheme between management at Mt. Shasta and Subway.

In textbook example of dubious

collaboration, Mt. Shasta gets sponsored by local subway managers, who in turn hand out some voucher-like leaflets redeemable only in off-thegrid indigenous mountain villages like Weed or Dunsmuir, and only if you have access to a time machine.

Not only do they have the audacity to brand a promotional advertisement on my lift ticket, but they can’t even be bothered to make sure it is valid past April 1st, 2012. Some cruel April fool’s joke if you ask me.

So, thanks to the lack of communication between the two parties, innocent Subway establishments all across northern California and Oregon will have awkward and unpleasant confrontations with impatient snowboarders and ravenous snow-blind hillsmen who request a free 6” sub.

I can’t tell if it’s just a normal retaliation in an ongoing prank war between the elites at Mt. Shasta and the local Lords of Subway.

Either way, I now hold secret information on the affair and shall be extorting both parties with a promise of keeping my mouth shut.

In those corners of the Earth, there are only two types of sandwich anyway; trout or Klondike bars.

Center

Page 8

Top 10 Most Annoying Words 1.

YOLO

4.

Hella 7.

Fer Sure

2.

Hashtag

5.

Cray

8.

Brah 10.

OMG (in person)

3.

Swag

6.

Like 9.

LOL (in person)

Spread

Page 9

Top 10 Most Annoying Phrases 1.

You Mad Bro

3.

I Know Right?

5.

You Know?

7.

It’s All Good 9.

Er Mer Gerd

2.

So Ya...Anyways

4.

I’m Just Sayin’ 6.

Hells To The No 8.

Oh Mi Gawd 10.

Get Er Done

Contributors: Jenna Hester

Page 10

Advertisement

Buying Love

by Zoe Lazaro, Yareli Fuentes, Janette Martinez, Amairani Gamez, Adriana Zarate, AP Spanish students Every culture has a unique view on human relationships. In the United States, we celebrate them annually in the form of Valentines Day. This year, Americans are expected to spend around eighteen billion dollars on Valentines Day gifts and activities, a sum second only to Christmas. Traditionally, American gifts include flowers, chocolate, jewelry, and expensive meals.

The emphasis is put on romantic relationships rather than friendship; and as a result, condom sales in the United States are almost 30% higher on Valentines Day than any other day of the year.

On the contrary, Mexican Valentines Day celebrates both love and friendship equally, and gifts are exchanged between romantic and non-romantic couples.

While this seems like something that would appeal to everyone, there are those, like Ukiahi instructor Jeff SilvaBrown, who have had their hearts broken on Valentines Day. As a result, they have become sad, bitter people who find joy in ruining this beautiful holiday for the rest of the population.

According to Mr. Brown, Valentines Day is a “made-up, consumerist holiday to give pathetically sad people hope that they may some day fall in love with somebody else.”

Feb. 1, 2013

Comprando el amor Cada cultura tiene un una vista única sobre las relaciones humanas. En los Estados Unidos, las celebramos cada año en la forma del Día de San Valentín.

Este año, se espera que los americanos gasten alrededor de 18 billones de dólares en regalos y actividades, una segunda suma sólo a la Navidad. Tradicionalmente, los regalos americanos incluyen flores, chocolates, joyería y comidas caras.

El énfasis se pone en las relaciones románticas en vez de la amistad, y como resultado, las ventas de condones en los Estados Unidos son casi 30% más altas durante este tiempo que cualquier otro día.

Al contrario, en México se celebran el amor y la amistad igualmente, y los regalos se intercambian entre las parejas románticas y no platónicas.

Aunque esto parece que sea algo que atraería a todos, hay unos, como el Sr. Jeff Silva-Brown, que han tenido sus corazones rotos en el Día de San Valentín. Como resultado se han convertido en tristes personas amargadas que encuentran la alegría en destruir este día bello para el resto de la gente.

Según el Sr. Silva-Brown, el Día del amor y la amistad es un “día festivo confeccionado y consumista para darles a las personas patéticamente tristes la esperanza de que un día se enamoren de alguien.”

Page 11

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Feb. 1, 2013

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Page 12

Les Miserables

Jess Neale Staff Writer

Flix pix

In 19th Century France, a paroled convict tries to renew his life and be a better person by being a father to an orphaned child despite the consistent danger of his past. Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) raises her cautiously, kindly and with all his love and devotion as the child grows to be a gorgeous woman named Cosette, played by Amanda Seyfried.

She then, in turn, falls in love with the revolutionary leader, Marius (Eddie Redmayne).

Grandly directed and performed with such intensity by a very talented cast, this epic Les Miserables will please and leave you breathless.

Originally based on the novel by Victor Hugo, it covers 17 years of social turmoil in France, this story of an ex-con trying to make peace with his past has enough romance, tragedy and political conflict to make the mind spin. Tom Hooper has really taken this musical to the next level.

Anne Hathaway, as Fantine, mother of the orphaned child, sang the most heart breaking song, “I Dreamed A Dream”, with such

My Fair Lady

Taylor Cameron Staff Writer

Bad

My Fair Lady, directed by Jack Cuckor, was released in 1964 and received positive reception from the theatre critics and the public.

The movie stars Audrey Hepburn, best known for her roles in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Sabrina, as Eliza Doolittle, a poor girl who sells flowers on the street for a living.

Rex Harrison co-stars as Henry Higgins, a professor of linguistics. Harrison is recognized for his roles in Cleopatra and Doctor Doolittle.

My Fair Lady is based on Pygmalion, a 1912 play, by George Bernard Shaw. Like Pygmalion, it started as a play. Pygmalion, a Greek legend, was an artist who fell in love with one of his sculptures because she was so realistic and beautiful.

The story is set in the early 20th-century in London, England. It begins in the poor side of London where Eliza is selling flowers and encounters some upper class men. Henry Higgins, who is studying her low-brow dialect, bets Colonel Hugh Pickering he could turn her into a duchess. The next day, Eliza

Okay

Feb. 1, 2013

strength and emotion it left many in tears.

Her performance was clearly a leap from her “chick flick” phase to a much more mature chapter in her life as a true actress. Ms. Hathaway has come a long way in her career and she has reached her peak most definitely in Le Mis. Russell Crow as Javert plays his part well as the obsessive inspector, too; his singing is robust and full of spirit. Jackman too, is truly spectacular in his songs. His voice touches deep into the soul to all who hear it.

Together the pair complement each other well as the “good guy” and the “bad guy,” each trying to find their destinies in life.

Thénardier (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Madame Thénardier (Helena Bonham Carter) provide much needed comical relief in the story line. They portray two inn keepers who make their living off of stealing from their most unfortunate and naïve customers and anybody else they can get their thieving hands on. Their quirky personalities combined with them popping up in surprising sit-

uations helps relieve some of the emotional tension that builds up during the more serious parts of the film.

The costumes throughout the film were both realistic and absolutely gorgeous. They each portrayed well the status and conduct of the character, making the movie very authentic looking.

The only thing about Le Mis that is acceptable to complain about would be how close the camera gets to the actors’ faces at intense times.

It takes away from the experience. Being so close one could see everything from the dirt particles in their pores to what they had for dinner in their teeth. It had a very smothering effect, which, thankfully, only occurred a few times during the beginning of the movie.

Les Miserables is a 153 minute musical so unique only Tom Hooper himself could pull it off, and, indeed, he did. His award winning film has touched the hearts and lives of millions. It was a definite success.

goes to Henry’s home and asks to be taught how to talk in a proper dialect and become a lady. Higgins proposes to train her as a duchess for the upcoming embassy ball for one shilling a lesson, and Eliza agrees.

Henry begins the training and takes her to the embassy ball. Everyone who meets Eliza seems to be under a spell, due to her charm.

After the ball, Eliza hears Henry talking about how well she did as though it was him who had to pretend to be a duchess. She is hurt by his words and realizes that she cares about him; but unfortunately, he looks at her as only an object. Henry must admit to the fact that he either loves her as well, or that he does not care about her at all.

There seems to be a song in every scene.

Some may perceive this as obnoxious, but the twenty-five musical numbers are done in a tasteful manner, so most of the viewers find them entertaining. Songs are repeated throughout the film, sung by others or the first person to sing the song.

Background music is common in the film, and it does not overpower the dialogue.

It suits the scenes well.

The costumes are fairly traditional for early 20th-century London. Upper class men wore suits and top hats, while upper class women wore bright colored dresses and skirts, shirts with high collars, and hats with gaudy feathers. On the other hand, poor men wore work clothes and poor women wore homemade dresses in the Victorian style. Some of the scenes seem to have a color scheme.

The tone of the flick differs depending on the setting. While in Henry’s home, the mood is stuffy. However, in the poor side of London, the mood is light and joyous.

The film won several awards, including eight Academy Awards. Some of the awards won were Best Picture, Best Costumes, and Best Director.

My Fair Lady is a classic musical and worthy of embracing its three hour running time. It is the tale of a dramatic transformation with a comedic twist. If one is looking for an older film that combines music, comedy, and romance, My Fair Lady is the movie to watch.

Good

Great

a&E

Feb. 1, 2013

Page 13

Black Oak Coffee Brews Downtown

Sarah Niderost Staff Writer

Black Oak Coffee Roasters opened in early December in downtown Ukiah welcoming customers with trained baristas, relaxed surroundings, and friendly smiles.

Located in the former Coffee Critic building on North State Street, Black Oak Coffee Roasters features quality espresso and coffee, roasted fresh daily.

Customers can choose to sit outdoors or inside the spacious coffee shop, with comfortable couches and not to mention the free wi-fi.

Service at Black Oak Coffee Roasters is very quick, and baristas are polite and welcoming with new or recurring customers.

Several of Black Oak Coffee Roasters’ baristas are experienced and some have previously trained with a trainer from San Francisco’s own Ritual Coffee Roasters.

One of Black Oak Coffee Roasters’ baristas, Michael Miller, has been working with coffee for over seven years.

Items on the menu are usually five

dollars or less, and some feature local ingredients.

The prices of the handcrafted beverages are very reasonable for the great quality and taste.

The drinks vary in size, with three options: eight, twelve, and twenty ounces.

One unique drink on the menu is one of its signature drinks, the Lavender Latte.

This drink contains lavender syrup, home made from organic lavender flowers, espresso, and steamed milk, then garnished with a dash of dried lavender.

The unique beverage tickles one’s taste buds with a familiar sense of home.

So far, Black Oak Coffee Roasters has a tie between two popular drinks.

The Lover’s Lane Latte, which is made with local honey and bee pollen.

The other is the Cafe Borgia, which features artisan chocolate with orange essence and a citrusy garnish.

The spacious cafe is filled with smalltalk, quiet music, and the aroma of roasting succulent coffee beans.

The calm environment is perfect for any student to sit down with a cuppa joe

and study, do homework, or just relax during the day. “….We are often jamming out to really epic vinyl records,” said Michael Miller.

However, on Friday evenings, the cafe springs to life, and customers can come in and enjoy coffee with in-house performances featuring local artists.

“Live music just seems so right in that cafe!” said Michael Miller.

What makes this cafe different is that drinks are made in a more traditional style and how baristas feel about the coffee.

“Milk temperatures may seem different, serving sizes are more structured and the espresso is featured in more defined ways.

We also strive for that artistic mark of the passionate barista: latte art,” said Michael Miller.

The café is open on Mondays to Fridays from seven o’clock am to six o’clock pm; Saturdays from eight am to five pm, and Sundays from eight am to four pm.

Black Oak Coffee Roasters is a new kind of café. It caters to all coffee connoisseurs and people who are willing to try something different from the average cuppa joe.

Anyone and everyone is invited to come down and enjoy quality brews. It is sure to satisfy any need: to relax, to study, or to meet new people.

googleimages.com

New Restaurant Crush Comes to Ukiah Ashlynn Rose Staff Writer

A great new addition to brighten up the streets of Ukiah is a new restaurant.

Crush Italian Steakhouse, located at 1180 Airport Park Boulevard, is in the heart of Mendocino County.

Opening its doors to the community on November 26, 2012, Crush has surprised and satisfied people around Mendocino County.

“The first time I went there, I never wanted to leave. It is so tasteful and welcoming,” said Tami Meyers, Ukiah resident.

The atmosphere is open and has a large set seating arrangement that warms the place when a person is inside.

It is a perfect place to take family, friends, or a date out to lunch or dinner.

Crush’s class and sophisticated decorum offer an exclusive place to dine and enjoy the time that is spent there.

The fireplaces and lighting put forward a pleasant feeling to the place warm-

ing it up while time is being spent there.

The moment a person steps into the steakhouse they are greeted at the front counter.

After being taken to a table, the staff thoroughly explains the menu answering all questions the customers may have.

“They take your order with great hospitality,” said Gina Miller, Ukiah resident.

Two menus are offered at Crush. They have a menu for the regular steakhouse and also have a separate menu for the pub.

A full bar is also included with a sports club that will keep everyone in there updated on the current sports games.

Every Friday and Saturday a piano bar is also offered to entertain the guests while they are there.

With their great energy, they will leave a person wanting to return.

According to Joe DiAngelo, a manager at Crush, the most popular and enticing dishes served at Crush are the Chicken Biccata, the Chicken Parmagiana, and the Cheesy Garlic Toast.

Their dishes specialize in the customary Italian flavors, mixed with fresh and seasoned ingredients, which create great options to add to the menu.

“Great food is our passion,” quoted Joe DiAngelo.

With around 100-180 people going into Crush per day, they keep very busy and occupied.

Crush Italian Steakhouse has multiple locations in California which includes Chico, San Diego, and of course, Ukiah.

“The inspiration we had for the restaurants is for an Italian steakhouse that produces great food and service,” said Debbie, the owner.

Although reservations are accepted, they are not required.

Patrons can reserve a table by calling Crush at 463-0700.

The bar is open for lunch at 11:00 am until they close and dinner is available in the steakhouse from 5:00 pm until it closes.

On a back wall in Crush, a mission statement was made to ensure the value of their customers.

Crush’s Mission Statement states: “Our passion is to serve the best cuisine and provide the most exciting dining experience in Mendocino County. Every employee with will make the commitment to achieve ex-

cellence through gracious, friendly and professional service. Our surpassed appearance, class and decorum will be felt by every guest that enters our door.”

Crush takes pride in joining the local restaurant community in Ukiah, and commits to serving the highest quality food and beverage offerings in a unique and inviting atmosphere.

googleimages.com

Page 14

Sports

Feb 1, 2013

UKIAH HIGH ATHLETES IN THE SPORTLITE

Athlete: Vanessa Torres Sport: Girls Swimming By: Delaney Kindopp

Athlete: Paul Holden Sport: Boys Track By: Tess Clausen

Vanessa Torres, a 17 year old student at Ukiah High School, has many accomplishments to be proud of in her life, such as being our current Homecoming Queen, a scholar athlete, and a team captain of the swim team during both her sophomore and junior years.

Along with her great accomplishments, Vanessa has created many good memories during her swimming career at Ukiah High.

“When we were doing diving drills, we were supposed to leap as high as we could and leave our goggles on the flag and dive in. When I ran to do mine, I was running and I tried to jump as high as I could, but instead of throwing the goggles on the flag, I threw them at my coach, and I hit my coach in the face,” said Torres.

“Swimming is a good workout. It’s a way to work out every part of your body and a way for me to relax. It’s also a way for me to work on sportsmanship and teamwork. And all of those other good things!” said Vanessa.

Vanessa is not only a successful summer; she is also an outstanding student.

She has a remarkable grade point average of 4.17. Her grades and remarkable success in the swimming pool are evidence of her strong personal drive. She strives above and beyond to achieve success in academics and athletics.

Her current classes include American Institutions, Economics, Advanced Placement English Literature, Native Speakers 3, Advanced Placement Calculus, and Introduction to Art. She is also involved in MESA, a local club at school.

“My favorite stroke is breaststroke. It is my fastest stroke In the 200 yard breaststroke, I got my first Junior Olympic time.

It’s a stroke where I just don’t slow down.

It’s the most comfortable,” said Torres.

“My least favorite is butterfly. It’s the hardest stroke.”

According to Vanessa’s coach, Leon Panttaja, also known as “Lee” to Vanessa and the other swimmers, breaststroke is her strongest stroke and is only one of the many things at which she excels.

Coach Lee described Vanessa as “very energetic” and a “team leader.”

When reflecting on why she would

miss Vanessa next year, her teammate Zoe Lazaro, stated that she displays tremendous enthusiasm for the sport, which “motivates the entire swim team.”

Vanessa also hopes that her swimming career will not end once she leaves high school, and that she will be able to continuing swimming throughout college on a club team. Vanessa has applied to several colleges and hopes that she will be able to attend UC Davis.

Vanessa also swims in the offseason for Ukiah Dolphins, which is a club team that swims year round, rain or shine. This means that she will be able to swim a little longer with some of her teammates after having graduated.

Lee also wanted to give Vanessa advice for after she leaves high school.

“Find a good college where you will want to be for the next four years,” said Lee She readily admits that she will miss her supportive teammates and coach the most once she leaves high school, because she will miss all of the “talented kids and really great and talented coach.”

Paul Holden, 17 year-old track and cross country star at Ukiah High School has gone to state three different times for running and has received multiple awards and medals throughout his career.

During track season, Holden competes in the one mile, two mile, and 800 meter races, and the 4 x 400, which involves four runners each running 400 meters.

In cross country, he runs the 3.1 mile courses, which can be unpredictable. He likes competing in big meets because it brings a lot of intensity and adrenaline.

“It takes a lot of dedication, practice, and spirit to keep you going and have fun,” said Holden about what it takes to be a runner.

He considers himself lucky because he has so many supporters which include his family, friends, coaches, as well as his team.

“They support me by always encouraging me to do my best and reach for the top spot.” said Holden.

Last track season he was very proud of what he accomplished.

“I love running in the hills of Low Gap Park because of how scenic and beautiful it

is,” said Holden.

His favorite long-run workout is running up to the big ‘U’ sign in the mountains. For a fast paced workout, Holden runs 1200 meters at Todd Grove Park because it helps him get stronger and faster.

“Running with people is awesome because it makes the run go a lot faster, and I also love running with my dog,” said Holden.He tries to put in at least fifty to sixty miles a week during seasons.

This year, Holden is taking American Institutions, teacher’s assisting for Mrs. Prax-Lodge, Advanced Placement Statistics, English 4, Photography, and AP Spanish 4. Even with this difficult, busy schedule, he maintains a 3.8 GPA. “I have applied to UConn, Sacramento State, Portland State, and Chico State,” said Holden.

He has been in contact with all four schools about running. After high school, Holden’s goals are to graduate college, get a good job, and be well off in life.

During NBL’s this past cross country season, Holden got first place and one of the best times ever run on the course. His team took third place.

“Paul sets a good example by inspiring me to be the best I can be,” said Lain Enzler, a junior and teammate on the track team. The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about Holden, says Enzler, is that he is a great guy; he’s fast, and has a well-rounded personality.

“He has a good attitude, hardworking, and pushes people to do their best.”

Enzler said. They have been friends for three years.

“I look up to them because I know how much dedication it takes to be a runner and they put it to the max! And Noah is just an awesome guy and super smart,” said Holden.

His role models are any professional long distance runners, and Noah Taxis.

“I can’t really put one person in that role, but I would say it’s a combination of all my supporters and people who have lifted me up through the years,” said Holden when being asked who plays the biggest role in his life.

“Oh yeah! It’s been awesome! I love all the support from everyone I get and everyone who encourages me. And the coaching is phenomenal!” said Holden.

sports

Feb 1, 2013

Page 15

A very brief summary of the NHL Lockout

Jose Recendez

Staff Writer

According to Sports Illustrated the 2012-2013 NHL Lock Out was caused due to a labor dispute; it began on September 15, 2012. The owners of the league’s franchises, led by NHL’s commissioner Gary Bettman, declared a lockout of all NHL Player’s after a new agreement could not be reached before the expiration of the NHL bargaining agreement on September 16, 2012.

The Lockout shortened the 2012-13 NHL season, originally scheduled to begin on October 11, 2012, games went from 82 to 48 games.

The newly revised season started on January 19, 2013 and ends on April 27, 2013. They also were forced to cancel the NHL All-Star Game planned for early Jannuary.

The owners were to eliminate set salaries at the begging of the season. The union’s initial offers focused on increase revenue sharing between the owners and a fixed salary that is not connected to the leagues income.

This is the third lockout in two decades since Gary Bettman became com-

missioner in 1993, following player lockouts in 1994-95 and 2004-05.

During the lockout many NHL players went to different leagues in North America and Europe.

M a n y businesses in the United States and Canada located near NHL arenas lost money as a result of the games not being played.

The issues that occurred according to Sports Illustrated were: To reduce the player’s share of hockey related revenue from 57 percent to 43 percent.

They wanted to set a maximum term of four years on all new players. Also wanted to get rid of signing bonuses and set a uniform salary for each year of a contract. Extend entry level contracts for players entering the league.

T h e National Post Stated: on January 6, after approximately 16 continuous hours of negotiating, a new deal was reached to end the lockout.

The terms included a limit of eight years on contract extensions and seven

years on new contracts, a salary cap of $44 to $60 million.

Just like in the 2004-05 lockouts, players had other options for playing professional hockey during the lockout. Most players are eligible for the American Hockey League, players are also still eligible to play junior hockey. The more experienced players sought employment in the European league.

Gary Bettman stated in an article on ESPN, that during the lockout, “the business is probably losing between $18 and $20 million a day and the players are losing between 8$ and $10 million a day”.

The NHL’s league office cut employee’s pay by 20 percent, and some teams even had to lay off employees and cut pay, as well.

In Canada, businesses in areas with NHL teams were hurt because of the lockout. Molson Coors Brewing Company reported reduced sales in Canada, blaming the lack of sales on the arenas being empty and people not having hockey parties.

During the lockout, NHL players participated in a few charity games, including one in Atlantic City which rose over $500,000 for victims of Hurricane Sandy.

ridin’ solo by: ben cayler Lance, Lance, Lance... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?! His entire career he denied cheating. Over and over again most believed him. Now he wants everyone’s pity on Oprah.

Personally, I think it is lame to come out of the cheating closet on Oprah. It just seems immoral to obviously benefit from even more publicity, although it did make for a pretty emotional and real interview.

A big question is what is going to happen to all of his endorsements? Tiger Woods lost all of his except Nike and the adds they did use didn’t exactly make Tiger look any better.

I think it would be a mistake to drop Lance’s ads. No one could argue with his contributions to humanity. The amount of money he has put into cancer research is unreal. In that respect you can’t hate him.

Even with performance enhancing drugs he still won the Tour de France seven times in a row... with only one testicle.

That is an accomplish for all men around the globe.

That is what makes this such a tragedy. He inspires the whole world to be a better place and in the end it is for nothing.

The 49ers are in the Super Bowl with the Baltimore Ravens. You have probably heard but the head coaches of the opposing teams are brothers.

John Harbaugh is the older brother and coaches for the Ravens. Jim Harbaugh is the younger brother and coaches for the 49ers.

Naturally I must side with Jim Harbaugh seeing that we are both younger brothers we share a connection. Also older brothers are usually jerks.

Jim also coaches for the Niners so he has that going for him.

This is the most excited I’ve ever been for a Super Bowl in my life. I might actually watch the whole game instead of just tuning in for

the commercials.

So now that the Niners are in the Super Bowl, that makes ‘Kaepernicking’ a thing.

‘Kaepernicking’ is when after accomplishing anything remotely noteworthy you flex your bicep and kiss the bible versus tattooed there.

I can’t tell yet if this is going to be nearly as annoying as ‘Tebowing’.

Kaepernick is a better player than Tebow.

Tebow is hardly a player anyway, seeing he doesn’t get played.

At least atheists won’t complain about Kaepernicking, but they still proably will.

That Kaepernick is a chill dude. He is an orphan of some kind, then gets adopted by an upper middle class family educated

in the arts and more than 2,000 years of Christian.

He uses JESUS to succeed. That is the only reason he got to the NFL, Jesus.

He is still going to hell for stealing Alex Smith’s job. I’m joking of course!

Enough football, let us move onto Soccer, or what our more wordly brethren it ‘futbol’.

Lionel Messi is the man. There are no disputes. Not only is he one of the greatest athletes of all time but he is also one of the most marketable. Even in America, Messi is everywhere. You can only imagine what it is like where soccer is actually played.

My advice to Messi is to sign a deal with Gillete.

Messi even inhereted the number 10 jersey from another great play, Ronaldhino One of the goals for my life is to travel to Spain or a latin american country not just to use my spanish skills, but to witness a massive soccer game and hopefully not get trampled in a riot. I might even get to participate in a riot, that’d be neat.

Shout out to Zoe Lazaro. I’m so sorry!

I can’t apologize enough. Let’s just put it aside now please!

News

Page 16

Feb. 1, 2013

2012-2013 Brings New Teachers

Sydney Walls

Editor-in-Chief

Beth Howson

Ukiah High School has been Ukiah High School is fortublessed with a variety of new nate this year to get not only teachers for the 2012-2013 one, but two new science school year. teachers.

Beth Howson also teaches science here, Biology, in particular. Before coming to

Allison Baldwin Ukiahi she taught in Potter Valley.

Howson also coaches volleyball at Mendocino College.

Allison Baldwin teaches While in college at Oakland Earth Science and Chemistry University in Michigan, she this year; they are, in her played soccer.

In her spare time she likes to words, the two most interesting subjects science has to of- travel, and in her free time she works on getting better at guifer.

Baldwin went to Connecticut tar and singing.

When asked about one thing College after high school. she loves about Biology, After her years at Connecticut Howson said, “I think the field she spent many years on the of Biology is incredibly interAppalachian Trail where she esting and I love to bring that taught rock climbing and lead interest and passion into the hiking expeditions. classroom.”

After that she moved to “I love where art meets sciSouthern California and taught ence and Biology is a perfect at a science camp in the San place for that to happen,” said Jacinto Mountains.

Howson.

Last year she taught Chemistry at Monroe Valley High School while continuing her education at UC Riverside.

Just last August she moved Lora Barnettto Ukiah and began prepar- Tuomala ing for her first year teaching at Ukiah High School. When asked about why she loves This year Ukiahi welcomed a teaching chemistry, Baldwin new P.E. teacher, Lora Barnettsaid, “I love learning about Tuomala. the way the Earth works and This is Barnett’s second year its history, and in chemistry of teaching and her first year one can find proof in the tini- teaching at Ukiahi. est particles about how everyShe first attended Sonoma thing in the universe behaves.” State University where she got Baldwin has enjoyed her a degree in Kinesiology and time here at Ukiahi, especially later went on to Dominican working with her colleagues in University where she received the science department. a Master’s in Education.

“My colleagues are the Before coming to Ukiahi, smartest, wackiest, silliest, Barnett taught at Fort Bragg smartest, and most fun peo- Middle School. ple you will ever meet,” said Besides teaching P.E., Baldwin.

Barnett coached soccer at Besides teaching Chemistry Mendocino High School for and Earth Science, Baldwin eight years, and she taught one enjoys hiking and spending semester of Health. time with her spouse and dogs Barnett has enjoyed her exas well as spending time in periences here at Ukiahi so far.

San Francisco.

“I am very happy to be teaching at a high school level this year,” said Barnett.

Barnett is currently on maternity leave and will be back at school in the beginning of March.

Allison

Beth

L o r a

Baldwin

Howson

Barnett

-Tuomala