COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK new year, new mead

Needed Urgently

Work ethic

Must be cheap (willing to pay in pints or VKs)

Second-hand accepted, as long as it’s functioning

Door-to-door delivery would be appreciated

Detailed instruction manual must be provided

wrIte for travISty

Submissions are always welcome! Get in contact with any of the writers, or email an editor at ke297@cam.ac.uk or mec72@cam.ac.uk

We hold Writers’ Groups to discuss ideas every week at 8 PM on Mondays in the JCR, where we provide port and samples of the current Cocktail of the Week.

Get involved.

Method

Keep rainwater for several years. Mix with honey. For a weaker mead, use nine ounces honey. Expose in sun for forty days, and then leave on a shelf near the fire. Boiled spring water may be used as a subsitute for rainwater. ingredients

Something on your mind?

Want to get something off your chest?

In need of some witty and slightly humorous advice?

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand... Travisty's Aunty M is here!

Send in your submissions to: agonyaunt.wufoo.co.uk/forms/ travisty-agony-aunt/ cryptic crossWord

Winner: olivia godWin

Congratulations, you've made it back to Trinity for another thrilling term! It has been another fateful weekend before term: The trains were filled with young students who didn’t know each other but all had the same destination. The roads of Cambridge were clogged with disoriented parents who struggled with the one-way streets. If this was your first time making the return journey to Cambridge— don’t worry, this will soon become routine. Here are some of the ways you could have made the trip, plus some inspiration for the future, all in an absolutely biased guide as to what it could say about you:

You arrived in the backseat of a car next to boxes upon boxes of a magically growing pile of personal belongings:

You are a home student. Your choice of effortless travel experience even includes a pair of parents to help you move boxes for free. Since they’re already here, why not let them unpack and set up your room, while you run off to greet your friends? Sounds fantastic, until you are faced with the reality of having to move all of your things back and forth every term without overseas storage. But that’s why practicing your Northern Irish accent will pay off eventually, right?

You met all your best friends in a National Express coach:

“Take the National Express; when your life’s in a mess; it’ll make you smile; all human life is here; from the feeble old dear to the screaming