how to

look cool In lectureS

Fedor Misyura advises you on how to climb that social ladder

Having been tasked to write this article, I was prepared to do extensive research on the topic. Thus, I attended lectures at the end of Michaelmas and at the beginning of Lent. From this, I obtained my first observation: to look cool in lectures, you have to go to lectures. Otherwise no matter how gold-rimmed your glasses may be or how much hair gel you use, your chances of looking cool are about as high as your chances of learning anything.

As I was doing my research, I quickly realised that LT0 in the Engineering Department was not the best ‘flora and fauna’ for my chosen subject matter. So, don’t do engineering to look cool in lectures. Anyway, I did my best and here are my top ten tips:

1. Wear a bandana.

2. Wear a long-sleeved shirt and roll it up.

3. Take a protein shake out of your bag as you sit down, place it on the desk, and tell everyone how much you love leg day.

4. Do that really cool spin trick with your pen the whole time.

5. Take notes using an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil.

6. Only take mental notes.

7. Listen to music during the lecture (Wilkinson’s lectures: listen to music during his music).

8. Sleep, shamelessly.

9. Come in five minutes late, walk half-way down the lecture hall, then proceed to leave.

10. Come in just as everyone begins to leave.