GLossA ry of CA mbridGe

Harry Metrebian’s guide to Cambridge terminology

Boat Club: A great way to meet new people, and you get used to the early mornings.

Cindies: One of Cambridge’s premier nightlife establishments. Played the whole of Bohemian Rhapsody once. Formerly known as “Kuda”.

Cobblers: Trinity’s dri… People who mend shoes.

Formal: Formerly a replacement for pre-drinks. Now just an overly expensive dinner.

Girton: The most distant Cambridge College. Its highly elliptical orbit around the sun takes about 220 years and it will next be visible from Earth in the year 2138.

Great Court: Trinity’s main courtyard. It was the largest fully enclosed courtyard in Europe until someone built a doorway leading out of it.

Joe Court: Trinity’s least-known courtyard, and the only one to have written for Travisty.

Kerem: One of the Editors of Travisty. He never actually got a place at Trinity; he just turned up here one day. At first it was thought that he was a human, but it is now known that he is actually a very realistic-looking android.

Lectures: A great way to meet new people, and you get used to the early mornings.

Life: Unfortunately you won’t have much time for this during Term, so enjoy it during the next few days. Also a common nickname for Cindies

Magdalene: Pronounced “magda-lin” to distinguish it from the similarly named Oxford College, which is pronounced “mawd-lin”.

Mathmo: A person who does maths, or indeed anyone who spends more than 99% of their time in their room. Avoid looking into a Mathmo’s eyes for more than five seconds at a time, as this will turn you into a Mathmo.

Matriculation: The ceremony at the end of the year when people receive their degrees.

May Balls: Expensive allnight black tie parties held by some Colleges in June. Not to be confused with June Events, which are held in May.

Nevile’s Court: The court that isn’t Great Court or New Court (or Joe Court). It is said that Isaac Newton discovered the speed of sound here, but this is unlikely to be true as Newton was a Mathmo and very rarely, if ever, ventured outside his room.

New Court: As its name suggests, this court is around 200 years old. Prince Charles once lived in a room here, where he kept a bear. The bear attended all lectures, and received a 2.1, while Prince Charles only received a 2.2.

The Porter’s Log: Like Travisty, but hasn’t been sued for libel.

Queens’: This College is unusual as it changes its name from Queens’ to Kings’ depending on the gender of the current monarch. When the monarch is a king it can only be distinguished from King’s by the position of the apostrophe and the relative lack of weed.

St John’s: Trinity’s main rivals. Their Fellows are only allowed to eat swans (and the Queen, but none have tried that yet).

Shark: A person who marks your work and goes through it with you at supervisions.

Supervisor: Someone in a higher year who tries to get with Freshers.

The Tab: Like Travisty, but doesn’t even pretend to be funny. If you’re interested in writing for The Tab, we kindly ask you to consider writing for Travisty instead.

Tompkins Table: An attempt by the Fake News Media to discredit Trinity! MAKE TRINITY GREAT AGAIN!

Travisty: Trinity’s best (and only) comedy newspaper. Interested in writing for Travisty? Email Kerem and Alexander at travistytrinity@gmail.com

Trinity Bar: A great way to meet new people (and Kerem, who actually lives here instead of his room).

Across

Across

9 Weight of a snow leopard (5)

9 Weight of a snow leopard (5)

10 Iliad, at heart, is about struggle (3)

10 Iliad, at heart, is about struggle (3)

11

11 Confuse tread water, but not quietly (5)

Confuse tread water, but not quietly (5)