Travisty Election

You thought Bongbong getting elected was bad? Just wait until you see our candidates

Travisty is an esteemed organisation going back tens of years, and nothing is more sacred than the ceremony of electing a new set of editors, the Delphic oracles (named more for their virginity than their literary skills) who will spend the next year prognosticating to the whole of Trinity.

I still remember the day I was elected. Arun asked on our group chat if anyone wanted to be the editor for Travisty next year. This group chat contained the last 2 editors, one soon-to-be graduate, and me. Obviously, it was a very difficult decision and close race. I accepted with great decorum (“lmao sure”).

Arun then elected himself Ethics Editor, after swearing to uphold the Travisty Constitution with his hand on a well-thumbed copy of American Psycho. Lidija Beric was made an editor in 2019 and has proved as immovable as the Dean’s opinion on alcohol ever since, contributing to Travisty usually through making a few smutty jokes at writers’ meetings, stealing a box of cupcakes and leaving to do an “essay”. Matthew Sargent, for me, embodies the spirit of Cinncinattus’ political virtue, not even knowing he was elected to this position of great power, and still probably does not, as he has only contributed one article this year.

Over this year, we four have been the cornerstones of college journalism, the pillars upon which truth can disseminate. Now is the time to decide who will carry on our legacy. Results to be posted in next edition!

Candidates for editorship Editorship role

Misha Medvedev President

Duties of role

Secure a budget, convince Poole to be Senior Treasurer again, buy food for writers’ meetings, make sure people write for Travisty, uphold the constitution, and overturn Row v. Wade.

Raymond Ramm Ethics Prevent any slander being hurled at people who read Travisty

Ruby SandersEnglish Editor-inchief Advise the President on how many shots to take in one go amongst other important issues

Francesca Gilks Magpie Editor Organise the Magpie and Stump event in Freshers’ Week and then do nothing for the rest of the year

Dylan Toh Editor Supreme Check for spelling mistakes in issues and eat many doughnuts

Lidija Beric Virgin Editor Do nothing

Arun Prabhakar Chad Editor Not a real role, but Arun can use this to convince Tutorial Office to let him stay on next year

Go to a poll on Misha’s rotisserie chicken website, meatspin.com or shout “biscuits” at Eoin for his support, and “cupcakes” to vote against him.

Tell Eoin “the tea in Nepal is very hot” for yes or “beans” for no.

Tell Eoin “but the coffee in Peru is much hotter” for yes or “on toast” for no

Tell Matthew Sargent/Gabriel Osborne you want her to be the new Magpie and Stump person

Σ π

2.718a dt and tell Eoin that it was delicious

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