Feature Articles

Dear St Nick,

Since you gave me perfect pitch last year, I’ve tried hard to remain on my best behaviour. I’ve practised my scales, joined three new ensembles, and spent so long in the practice rooms I almost forgot about choir rehearsal. I’ve even refrained from telling everyone that I have perfect pitch. What I’m really trying to say is that I’ve tried to remain on the ‘good list’ – I’m a people pleaser at the end of the day.

This might be why I can’t shake the feeling that I never will be good enough, especially not to please my viola teacher. Every time I open YouTube there’s another child prodigy who was born shortly after I did my grade 8 exam and has already got a repertoire slightly broader than mine. Not only are they more talented, they’re also more endearing, and more employable than I can ever hope to be. The worst thing is that my parents would probably agree.

Therefore, if it’s not too much to ask, could I please have a more secure sense of self-worth? My copy of Bach’s Cello Concerto (for viola) is also a bit battered so a fresh copy would be much appreciated too.

Yours,

A miserable music student :(

Dear Father Christmas,

All I want for Christmas is a miracle.

I have 9am lectures every day except Sunday, and the more I miss the more I have to catch up on. It takes me longer to pre-read the lecture notes than it does to sit through the lecture, and even after both I still don’t know what’s going on. Every week I have thirty contact hours, a multiplicity of problem sheets and essays and my parents still wish I was doing medicine. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t behind, and I can’t imagine ever catching up.

Please, this is a cry for help. Burnt out bio-natsci

Mr X-Mas

(Editor’s Note: here we see a mathmo who promptly got distracted attempting to ascertain the linear relationship between x and mas. Although he had plotted it on a graph within three hours, he was subsequently waylaid by converting x/mas into a decimal, and other such things that a maths degree (probably doesn’t) seek to teach you. He is expected to realise the passing of time about the same time that he gets forcibly removed by the porters three days after his licence to occupy ends)

Each 4x4 box, row and column contains the characters ABCDEF0123456789 exactly once. Send