Father Christmas’s Pigeonhole

Amy provides an insight into the spam you flood daddy Crimbo’s dms with

Dear Father Christmas,

This year I’ve decided I really need to remind everyone that I’m an English lit student. My extensive tote bag collection already features both the Daunt books emblazoned one, and the limited edition Northanger Abbey that I sought out when I realised that the Pride and Prejudice one wasn’t quite pretentious enough. My tote game is admittedly strong, but I have a nagging fear that it’s doing a bit too much of the heavy lifting. I can’t help but feel slightly underdressed next to everyone else on the Sidgwick site. The law students are always so effortlessly corporate and put together looking. The history department seems to have a unending supply of funky trousers and knitwear combinations. The HSPS lot is recognisable by their ever changing but reliably bright hair colours that make me feel bland and uncreative. What good is that for an aspiring novelist? But my main concern is that I only have Doc Marten boots. I need the shoes to truly feel that I’m not a poser. Burgundy with platforms please!

Kind regards,

An *Arts* Student

To Father Christmas,

I really enjoyed the Complete Box Set of Philosophy that I got last year. I started with Aristotle, and by the time I’d got to the metaphysics of Saul Kripke I knew I’d never see the world in the same way again. I’ve read the one on Heidegger twice. All in all, though you may have gifted me mere paper, you truly granted me a near comprehensive understanding of all the thoughts that have ever been thought.

I’m not doing the right degree to be writing to a supernatural being who’s able to receive and engage with every request made of him. I’d be doing theology if I wanted to deal with something like that! But I guess you could call me desperate. Having read all the thoughts of everyone who’s come before me, it leaves me wondering whether there could possibly be anything left for me for me to think about. Of course, that’s very close to a reflection that someone – I’m trying to remember who – reflected in the 15th century. But I digress. Please, metaphysical gift-giver, give me an original thought. can I have some Lego please? i’ve already got most of lego city, but I really want the supersonic jet –helicopter – powerboat three in one set. thank you daddy average engineer.