VISITING THE SICK: DOS AND DON’TS What do you do for and say to people who have a life-limiting illness? I was very fortunate early in my ministry to have a wonderful mentor — Father Jim Hendricks — who was amazing in his care for the sick. I learned from him by following his good example. When you find out that someone has a serious illness, hold the gasps. They’re still among the living. Simply ask, “What can I do to be most helpful?” Then listen for an answer. WHAT TO DO Stay in touch by phone, visits, cards, and emails. Allow the person to respond as energy allows. Help the main caregiver by giving the caregiver a chance to go for a walk, take a nap, and talk about something besides illness. Rather than ask, “What can I do?” offer a few specifics. Ask if you can drive them to the library, take them to a movie, or bring them something they are craving. Send movies, books, flowers, and meals in containers that the person doesn’t have to return. It’s hard for most of us to ask for help. Make it easy for them. Offer to run an errand. Bring over a meal. Do the laundry. Fill the fridge. Listen. You don’t have to offer answers, advice, or a plan of action. Get comfortable with silence and always look the person in the eye no matter how they look. They are still your friend, sister, brother, or co-worker. WHAT NOT TO DO Don’t disappear. Don’t be that friend who leaves. Stay involved for the long haul. The longer the sickness lasts, the lonelier it can get. Don’t share horror stories about people who didn’t make it. Too many people want to tell long, drawn-out stories with bad endings. Don’t go there. There are no right words. Keep it simple and say, “I’m here for you,” and mean it. Sometimes no words are best. Your presence alone matters more than anything you can say. Don’t blame the person for being sick. Don’t point out that it might be from lack of exercise, smoking, too much red meat or wine, or negative thinking. Don’t say you know how the person feels. You really don’t. Don’t take anything personally. Being sick can make a person irritated, tense, sad, depressed, and angry. Remember, the burden of friendship is on the well person. By Bob Mueller Bob Mueller is the bishop of the United Catholic Church. bobmueller.org
Virtual Reality Technology Offers Health Benefits For Seniors By Vanessa Hutchison
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hile virtual reality (VR) has been around for quite awhile, the technology has only entered the realm of consumer technology in the past decade or so. Since then, neurologists and psychiatrists alike have been interested in exploring the potential health benefits of VR. Recent studies have specifically looked into potential benefits of virtual reality technology for those with dementia and Alzheimer’s, and the results are promising. If you or a loved one have ever experienced dementia, then it is easy to understand the appeal of potential treatments. While many think dementia is related only to memory loss, those who have experienced it on a more personal level understand that the more insidious aspects of the condition include violent mood swings, persistent angry episodes, and significant bouts of depression and anxiety — all of which affect quality of life for dementia patients as well as their caregivers. The search for relief from these symptoms can often feel like a desperate plea — one which advanced virtual reality applications may be able to answer. Multiple studies in the past five years have looked into virtual reality treatment for dementia and Alzheimer’s with impressive results. One such study out of the University of Kent in 2019 found that VR was able to improve patients’ quality of life and helped the patients to recall lost memories through the use of new visual stimuli. Others have found results such as elevated mood and overall reduction of depression by providing patients with sensory experiences in interesting locales that their health or physical constraints may not otherwise let them experience. Rendever is a VR platform which has been shown to reduce depression and loneliness in patients by fostering personal connections with others. rendever.com
UprightVR uses virtual reality to improve balance and help fall prevention in those with limited mobility. uprightvr.com While adaptive VR platforms often come with a steep price tag, there are signs that virtual reality is becoming more affordable and accessible. PlayStation has dipped its toe into virtual reality and Meta’s Quest 2 has marketing applications that go well beyond gaming, inviting users to explore new worlds or exercise in community spaces. It is only a matter of time before these companies and others also find a way to be more inclusive of their aging clientele and create applications that help to facilitate memory care and learning. In the world of VR, the possibilities really are endless. Today’s Transitions / Spring 2022
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