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Peoria Times
OPINION
March 17, 2022
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Prideful New Yorker meets his match in Mt. Humphries BY DAVID LEIBOWITZ Peoria Times Columnist
Having grown up in New York, I can testify to the immense overconfidence of many New Yorkers. Convinced they live in the only city that matters, New Yorkers often display a level of cockiness best described as the personality equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard. Thus, it’s fun to see New Yorkers taught a lesson like the comeuppance recently received by 28-year-old Brooklyn moron Phillip Vasto. Vasto, who describes himself as an “experienced hiker,” was here in the Valley on business when he decided to sojourn north to Flagstaff. His goal? To hike Mt. Humphries, our state’s highest peak at 12,633 feet. According to media reports, Vasto set out at 2:30 p.m. March 2 armed
with his cellphone and trusty AllTrails app. The hike to the top of Humphries and back is about 10 miles. On that day the trail was so steeped with snow, it took Vasto an hour to find the trailhead. “Unequipped with a light source,” per the Arizona Daily Sun, Vasto trekked until dark, telling the paper, “It was very easy to get off the trail and fall into the snow.” Shortly before 7 that night, Vasto dialed 911 and reported being lost. The search and rescue unit from the Coconino County Sheriff’s Office tracked him down at about the 10,600foot mark — in other words, nowhere near the summit. Most of us would have called it good, happy to survive. Not Vasto. This is where he displays that signature New Yorker confidence. Despite a stern talking to from rescuers — including being “encouraged to not attempt the hike again,” according to a press release from the Sher-
GAMBLE’S OPINION — King Features
iff’s Office — Vasto decided to hike Humphries again the very next morning. March 3 must have been quite the day: Vasto met fellow hikers who turned back in the face of 25 mph winds — but he kept going. He slipped off the trail and scratched up a leg, Vasto told the Daily Sun. After about eight hours, he noticed his phone was nearly dead. Only then did Vasto call the search and rescuers for the second time in 24 hours. The deputies contacted the Arizona Department of Public Safety. A DPS helicopter flew up to fetch Vasto off the mountain. The pride of the Big Apple posted about his adventure on Instagram before deleting his posts — I imagine because he was tired of being called a dumbass. Like many people caught doing ridiculous things, Vasto positioned himself on social media as a wise sage here to warn the rest of us. “With brutal, chilling winds blowing at (more than) 25 mph and freezing temperatures, Humphreys Peak is no joke in March,” Vasto wrote. “I highly advice (sic) NOT attempting Humphreys Peak in the winter. You can easily injure yourself and get hy-
pothermia up there.” Uh, yeah. Improbably, the entire population of Arizona, all 7 million of us, somehow managed not to need that dire warning. Vasto’s travails will undoubtedly revive calls for the state Legislature to pass a “Stupid Hiker Law,” which the city of Phoenix considered back a few years ago. Like Arizona’s “Stupid Motorist Law,” such a measure would force hikers who make improbably dumb decisions to repay the estimated thousand taxpayer dollars an hour it costs to send highly trained first responders and a chopper to save them from their own stupidity. The law might not be a bad idea. Vasto told the Daily Sun he plans to fly out from New York again in May and try his big adventure one more time. The immortal Sinatra was right about New Yorkers. “King of the hill, top of the heap?” Like Phillip Vasto, they’re all destined for glory. PT David Leibowitz has called the Valley home since 1995. Contact david@leibowitzsolo.com.
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