The Glendale Star
22
June 3, 2021
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An article with a bit of irony and a little wrinkly Did you know I have been writing this article since November 2004? That’s a heap of writing. Several times a year, I select some of the best quotes and short snippets I’ve gleaned from my reading or social media and share them with you. Today’s article is one of those. I’ve included humor, wisdom, quips, inspiration, practical and insightful snippets for you. Some are unusual (like the title of this article). Here we go. “Take your age and add 5 to it. That will be your age in five years.” “Learn from the mistakes of others; you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” “They say we can have gatherings with up to eight people without issues. I don’t even know eight people without issues.” “I need to get back in shape, but I’m kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.” “The biggest lie I tell myself is, ‘I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.’” Someday the United States may go metric. Here are some phrases involving weights and measures which will need to be converted. “A near miss is a
CHURCH COMMUNITY CONNECTION Pastor Ed Delph Glendale Star Columnist
good as 1.61 kilometers.” “There isn’t 0.06 gram of truth in it.” “He felt 3.05 meters tall.” “First down and 9.14 meters to go.” “She 2.54-‘centimetered’ her way through the crowd.” “Don’t hide your light under 35.24 liters.” Here are the conversion answers for the mentally challenged like me: mile, ounce, 10 feet, 10 yards, inched, bushel. I bet you never mused about that before. Consider these “B Positive” blood-pumping ideas. “If you fail, never give up, because F.A.I.L. means ‘first attempt in learning.’ The end is not the end. E.N.D. means ‘effort never dies.’ If you got ‘no’ as an answer, remember N.O. means ‘next opportunity.’ Change your mindset.” Here’s a great thought. “Two principles for a happier life: Use things,
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er: your attention.” Here’s a favorite on my Facebook page. “The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.” “Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.” “Don’t let the offense against you produce an offense within you.” “We overestimate what we can do over a year but underestimate what we can do over 10 years.” Want to stand out by becoming outstanding in your career? Consider these thoughts. “Your smile is your logo. Your personality is your business card. How you leave others feeling after transacting is your trademark.” “If you try and fail … congratulations. Most people won’t even try.” “Don’t get all steamed up when you don’t know what’s cooking.” “Maybe if we tell some people the brain is an app, they will start using it.” “Begin your day with an ‘I get to’ mentality instead of an ‘I have to.’ I get to go to work. I get to have a busy day. Whatever it is. We often dress our opportunities in SEE DELPH PAGE 23
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not people. Love people, not things.” Here’s a food quip. “The pros and cons of making food. Pros: food. Cons: making.” “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.” That’s funny; don’t do it. No “irony-wrinkly” article would be complete without marriage and relationship quotes. “My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh more.” Here’s a fun fact. “The majority of archaeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past.” “If at first, you don’t succeed, do it the way your wife told you to.” “Chromosomes: XX=female. XY=male. YYY=Delilah.” “There are two types of people: morning chatterboxes and people who do not want to speak or be spoken to in the morning. They usually marry each other.” Some wisdom for you: “Wrinkles mean you laughed; gray hair means you cared and scars mean you lived.” Here’s another. “If you don’t like something, and it’s not essential or significant, just take away its only pow-
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