Zebra Ink Magazine May 2024 Issue

The magazine that empowers May 2024

Tess and Sheila at Tess’s 104th birthday party

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Lightening the Load: My Journey to Smart Entrepreneurship

Remember the first day you decided to turn your idea into a reality? That surge of excitement, the hunger to innovate, and the unshakeable belief in your dream. Like many of you, the inception of Vox Pop Branding began with a vision to create something uniquely impactful.

From drafting strategies to pitching the first ideas, each step was fueled by relentless passion and the bright hope that accompanies new ventures. But as Vox Pop Branding grew, so did the complexities of managing it. The freedom I initially felt was quickly overshadowed by a growing list of responsibilities that left little room for strategic thinking or personal life.

This mounting pressure became palpable during a particularly critical period when I was deep in the trenches of balancing my books. Tax season was upon me, and there I was, pouring over receipts and spreadsheets, convinced that handling the finances myself was the best way to maintain control over my business and keep a lean overhead. It was during this very time that an existing client, thrilled with our work, referred Vox Pop Branding to a major media platform in urgent need of a fresh marketing strategy. They needed a proposal— and fast.

Caught up in the minutiae of my financial obligations, I couldn’t turn my attention to crafting the proposal in time. By the time I managed to clear my schedule, the opportunity had slipped through my fingers; the media

URINA HARRELL

platform had chosen to go with another agency that could meet their tight deadline. The sting of this missed opportunity was a harsh wake-up call about the true cost of failing to delegate or outsource.

Reflecting on this moment, I realized the irony of my situation. In my pursuit to control all aspects of my business, I had actually stifled its potential for growth and lost out on a chance to significantly elevate our standing in the industry. This pivotal experience was a turning point for me. It drove home the importance of delegation—not just as a management strategy but as an essential practice for business sustainability and growth.

The transformation in my agency since embracing delegation has been profound. By entrusting tasks outside my expertise to skilled professionals, not only have I reclaimed time for strategic pursuits, but I’ve also maximized our operational efficiency. This shift has not only improved our service delivery but also enhanced our financial health through strategic outsourcing—recognized as business expenses beneficial for tax purposes.

Embracing this lesson, I restructured Vox Pop Branding to extend the same strategic advantage

to other entrepreneurs. As a business owner, I’ve committed to helping my clients achieve the freedom to focus on growth by managing one of their most significant challenges—marketing. Today, we offer strategically designed done-for-you, pay-as-you go, and software solutions all backed by professional expertise to ensure that each campaign is not only strategic but impactful. I missed a big opportunity pouring over my business finances; my goal is to ensure my clients don’t miss opportunities focusing on tasks that are outside of their own expertise.

From the initial thrill of launching a business to the ongoing challenges of scaling it, the entrepreneurial journey is a continuum of learning and adaptation. At Vox Pop Branding, we’ve distilled the essence of entrepreneurship into a philosophy of nurturing big dreams through wise, strategic delegation and building scalable systems. I’ve done this for marketing, and I encourage other entrepreneurs to think about how their services or offerings can completely lift the burden off their end-users, simplifying their lives in meaningful ways.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Together, let’s continue to dream, delegate, and scale our ventures into impactful enterprises.

Urina is a marketing consultant with 11+ years of experience, specializing in helping startups and nonprofits establish and grow their brands. She founded Vox Pop Branding in 2013, to improve the effectiveness of marketing strategies and make it more popular and profitable for brands to implement positive impact messaging in their marketing campaigns. Urina combines her undergraduate training in Psychology and Neuroscience from Duke University with a Masters in Marketing from Loughborough University in the United Kingdom to guide her firm and clients into a more human-centered future. Her clients range from large-impact organizations to local restaurants and even professional athletes like NBA player Jrue Holiday. In addition to her marketing agency, Urina has also created Vox Pop Kids, an educational brand that seeks to teach children the importance of financial literacy, business acumen, and philanthropy.

Discover more about Urina and all that VoxPop offers at www. voxpopbranding.com.

Lights Out!

LESLIE MYRICK

When you open yourself up to the Universe-magic can happen. If someone told me that I would be interested in Formula1 racing I would have told them they were absolutely crazy. I am 100% not a race car person. I don’t even like going over 70 in my own car. I would rather do anything than watch or talk about race cars. All that changed one July day!

In July, I met a man who’s interested in all things cars. Loves race cars and really loves Porches. He told me about Formula1 and suggested I watch the Netflix show, “Drive to Survive” as a fun way to be introduced to racing. It only took two episodes of the fast paced, sexy, slick series which showcased the drivers, races, and behind the scenes drama for me to be hooked!

A few weeks later I experienced my first race. The cars lined up and the commentator said, “Lights out here at the Belgian Grand Prix.” Without moving, or blinking, I watched all 44 laps and before I knew it the race was over. I wanted more!

At first, my questions were pretty superficial, “Why are the cars so loud?” “Why so many laps?” “Isn’t it cramped in the cars?” But as the months went on, I wanted to know, “What kind of material are the cars made from?” “What makes them go that fast?” “Are the drivers considered athletes?” They must have to do crazy training?” “Is there one mechanic for each section of the car?” and “Where are the female drivers?”

During the pre-race shows on ESPN or the Netflix series, I began noticing

that I didn’t see many women in the paddock, or any female mechanics. The women were either the driver’s handlers, marketing and PR personnel. I became curious, were there any women

Photo Credit: A. Nelson

engineers in Formula1 and if yes, why wasn’t Netflix showing them?

After a few months of watching live races and completing “Drive to Survive” I was having in-depth conversations about cars, races, and drivers. I cheered on my drivers and had my favorite team principals. It was fun predicting how the races would turn out even though almost all of the races were ending with, as my friend said, “Max (Verstappen) so far ahead he just passed a Delorean in the future!”

The Singapore race had me dreaming of seeing a race in person. Which one of the many exotic locations would I choose? Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Austria, Australia, Azerbaijan, Italy, Singapore, or Belgium? I began favoring The Monaco Grande Prix. Its romantic charm of a long-standing race car history; the first race was held in 1929. Watching the drivers navigate the super narrow streets of Monaco, the skinny dark tunnel at speeds of well over 190 miles per hour, felt extremely dangerous and yet simultaneously very cool!

In Montreal on New Year’s Eve 2023, at one of the best restaurants in Old Montréal, fate seated us next to Taylor** and Tyler. While sharing with us that they both attend University and are studying engineering, Taylor said, “I am in my last year of Mechanical Engineering at Concordia University, with particular focus on internal combustion engines, aerodynamics and advanced physics.”

Looking across the table at my date’s face wide eyed, mouth open, an inquisitive look of, “How can this be happening? Did you arrange this?” She continued, “I’m particularly fascinated by automotive design. I intend to design race cars in the future, especially F1 type cars. My capstone project was a completely new concept for competitive race cars, which implements ideas of quantum physics and shifting centers of gravity. This is a concept that I intend to bring to other automotive markets as well, including modern electric street cars. Altogether, I just really want to design cool and fast cars!” Continued on page 8.

Six months after meeting this incredible man by swiping right, watching all of the “Drive to Survive” series often in marathon late night sessions, totally hooked on Formula1, I found myself in dreamy Montréal seated across from him. And next to an extremely talented woman who’s going to change the automotive world! My question was finally answered. Yes--there are women engineers in Formula 1 racing, and I’ve met one!

Now that’s undeniably the Universe’s magic granting such gifts!

**Taylor Dupéré Mechanical Engineering student at Concordia University

Leslie Myrick, a Rochester native who lives for art, writing and Interior design. Received a B.A. Degree in Communication and Journalism, St. John Fisher University.

Myrick has been in Property Management for six years. Commercial Property Manager, for Webster Properties, LLC. Owner of Properties By Design, an Interior Design business, focused on private homes, rental properties and creating commissioned artwork.

You can contact Leslie at myrickdesigns3@gmail.com or check out her profile on LinkedIn.

Photo Credit: A. Nelson

Relaxing In NC

BILLY THOMPSON

As an educator you often work long hours through the week and wear many different hats. Finding a way to relax is the key to your success and longevity as you deal with the many situations that occur on a daily basis.

I spend a lot of my time on the weekends doing yard work, reading, writing and spending time with the family. But occasionally l like to go out and enjoy good music, have a refreshing beverage, and talk with a variety of individuals. There are two places I like to frequent when the mood hits me. One is The Wine Maestro, and the other is The Cedar Stump Pub.

The Wine Maestro is owned by Dave and Melanie Nantz Taylor. If you ever have the privilege to visit, you will feel as though you have stepped into a version of Cheers, the TV sitcom. As you walk in you most likely will hear the sounds of local artists playing blues, jazz and other genres that will take your mind away from the situations of the week. Most of all the greatest joy comes from the different people I meet. Melanie shares a story of two ladies in their 80s, who would stop by each day and have a glass of wine while sharing some amazing stories.

I have had many thought-provoking conversations with individuals ages 21 to 80 years of age. Many were entrepreneurs, politicians, educators, colleges students and retirees who came for the same reason

– to enjoy a great glass of wine, beer, conversations and music. Pets are welcome too at The Wine Maestro.

The Cedar Stump Pub, owned by Jeremy Shaw, is an amazing and interesting night spot. I actually had my 60th birthday celebration there and it was amazing to see so many people of different races and beliefs thoroughly enjoying music from the 60’s thorough the 90’s. What stood out the most was the fellowship and joy I saw on the face of bikers, cowboys, businesspeople, young and old.

Jeremy and I met though his wife’s walk/run club. Together they are quite a power couple. She works in real estate, and he owns 3 Cedar Stump Pubs. The name came about because as a young boy he worked with his uncles in a sawmill. Every so often they would come across a Cedar tree and seeing the beauty of the inside of the tree cause his imagination to grow in such a way that all the bars’ furniture is mostly made by his hand from Cedar trees.

So, my friends if you are ever visiting Statesville, NC, be sure to stop by The Wine Maestro and the Cedar Stump Pub. The owners and staff members will treat you as a human being no matter you race or beliefs, as long as you remember to do the same. They will do their best to ensure that you have a very enjoyable time as long as you’re 21 or older.

Billy Thompson is a human being who believes in supporting, loving and caring for others. He is a graduate of Elon College and believer in lifelong learning. Connect with Billy on Facebook.

A Shoulder To Lean On RAY JUSTICE

II need to write about almost dying last week.

I need to write about the angel that saved my life.

I need to write about deep water, floating and swimming I need to write about the wonderful outcome.

I need to write about the unexpected aftermath, the good part, that was the gift from an experience with fear.

~ Ray Justice

was invited by a couple of friends to go swimming in a nearby quarry. It was a last minute decision that I had turned down a few weeks before.

I gave my usual pat answer of “Thanks, but I will pass, too busy.” I said OK after they announced, “we will pick you up at 1 pm, you will be back at 4:30 and it is 90 degrees out.”

When we arrived at our destination, they quickly dove in off a dock platform and I hesitated while I looked over the situation. I am comfortable swimming in a pool but, besides jumping in ocean waves, that is most of my experience.

At the end of the dock I yelled out, “How deep is it?” The reply from Greg was “I don’t know, probably 40 or 50 feet.” I said I would stay close to the edge also being a person that never learned or had been able to easily float. He called back to me, from about 80 yards, or a little longer, that he was now standing on a

ledge. The water was no higher that his armpits so it looked workable for me. It would have been if I had known enough to tell him to stay where he was, as a landmark, until I got there.

As I started swimming out to this below-the-water, not visible ledge, he started swimming back towards the dock. I made it out to where the ledge was, or where I thought it was, without great difficulty, and was ready for a breather.

This is where the problem started; I could not find the ledge.

I was quickly running out of gas and I knew I was close but things look different in the water and no ledge to be found. By now I am struggling to stay above water. I yell out that I am in trouble and Greg yells back the ledge is right there. Another 30 seconds of desperate searching with no luck taking as much of a breath as I can and yell again, “I’m in trouble!”

I always thought people drowned by hitting their head or by becoming very tired and gulping water. My body was not tired, and I did not swallow and water. My problem was I could not breathe in enough air, only shorts gasps of air at a time. I thought I had enough presence to try to take a slow deep breath, figuring I could hold it if I went under and could swim back up again. Unable to take that deep breath, and knowing I’m not a good floater with no reachable bottom to go down and kick back up from, increased my fear level to something more than I have ever experienced. Having been in car accidents, a bad fall on a very steep ski trail, and stuck inside large machinery, I knew this was different. There was no possibility of escape from this one; there was nothing I could do.

Now this is where the good news starts. This is where my angel showed up. I did not have to do this alone. Sarva happened to be swimming around 40 feet from me. She came right over. I, between gasps, announced, “I’m in trouble”. She said, “let’s find the ledge, it’s right here.”

But it wasn’t. She could not find it either and another precious minute or two went by.

She calmly said, “Ok, we head for the dock.” She knew I needed help and would keep sinking and fighting to keep my head above water from the panic of it all. She turned her back and told me to put my hands on her shoulders and with that alone I was not sinking. I ended up having just my right hand on her left shoulder as we headed, in what seemed like forever, to the dock.

I still could not breath well but realized that I was actually going to make it. When I did, I hung on to the dock a couple minutes before pulling myself up to good old solid ground.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, as we were all relaxing in lawn chairs, I looked over towards my new angel and noticed a big smile on her face. Somehow, in a way I do not know how to describe, her smile seemed different than any I had seen. I asked her what that big smile was for.

She replied, “I’ve never saved anyone’s life before and it really feels good. On top of that I didn’t know I could swim that well.” Well, I told her, “It felt really good to me too.”

Later that night I sent her a text message that said, “Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on and getting me out of a scary scrape.” And then followed that with another that said, “And thank you for possibly saving my life.” I got back one word, “welcome” and we both knew it wasn’t possibly saving, it was saving.

I need to learn to float, which seems simple, easy and natural to many others, but not to me.

I need to learn to swim better; I am fine in a pool but survival in larger bodies of water is so different. No

Continued on page 12.

waves, no current, just water, but also no bottom and no close sides.

Another important aftermath of this experience is the head stuff. Remember the movie titled “The Best of Times” with Robin Williams? In an important football game, he had dropped a pass to lose the game, and he kept rehashing it over and over again. It was stuck in his mind.

Instead of rehashing my fear-based experience from my past, as it popped into my thoughts, I used it to think of her smile, thinking, I’ve never saved anyone’s life before.

And I had never had my life directly and almost instantly saved before. It took a middle of the night awakening to come up with that and it has worked great. Long term and PTSD effects, we will have to wait to see. So far so good.

Thank you.

If you have read this far, I think the most useful lesson is in the last paragraph. Remember the smile.

Ray j | August 2016

Ray Justice is an inspiring writer, poet, and entrepreneur who creates products and services to stir curiosity, creativity, intuition, intimacy, and personal insights. Visit www.rayjustice.com to learn more and Ray and his new book, Spiritual Arousal.

Following My Artist’s Heart

SUSAN CARMEN DUFFY

As an artist, I have a head full of swirling ideas. Some make it to fruition, some have rested safely in a journal detailing the designs or project, and some wait patiently (and sometimes not so patiently) in my busy brain. Being an avid observer in life often sparks more ideas.

In early 2020, I visited the Memorial Art Gallery in Rochester, New York. The exhibit I was excited to see was Alphonse Mucha. His art nouveau work inspired me in a way that I cannot express with words. Mucha’s work has a beautiful illustrative quality to it. He has an admiration for all things feminine, and his detail, even in his print making is incredible.

Continued on page 14.

I remember sitting for quite a length of time in front of some life size feminine figures that were created by a print making method called lithography. The detail was stunning! The color was soft, yet still vibrant, the intentional honor to the feminine stirred me. I studied the work shown and it felt as though I had a conversation with Mucha. In viewing the work for a great length of time, some questions were answered, some remain a mystery.

This experience marinated in me for the next few years. What I wanted to create felt like such a risk. Not only would the piece take a substantial amount of time, but I also don’t do a great deal of figurative work. Yet the piece I wanted to create required both.

Some projects just won’t stay resting in a journal. Some push on. As a working artist with a greeting card company, I feel the pressure to keep new images , new cards, and new items coming. It is an easy trap to fall into. A typical greeting card image is completed in less than three or four hours, this project would be much more.

A common theme throughout my work has been a passion for the four seasons. Living in upstate New York we have a lovely view of each season and the wonder that each brings. I have created several pieces devoted to this theme. The study of the seasons, how they feel, how they inspire, and the way the earth changes, inspires me.

As I mentioned, sometimes projects won’t remain patiently in a journal or my brain. One night, quite late, I pulled out a full-size sheet of my favorite watercolor paper. (Arches paper 30” x 24”) I got out a ruler, a yard stick, a water-soluble pencil, and summoned some courage. I was excited and afraid. I knew this project would challenge me and teach me.

Typically, I work very intuitively. I don’t pre-sketch or plan. I paint or create what is in my heart. I move through the piece instinctively; I finish when it feels

complete. While on some level I did the same here, I began with a bit more structure. I wanted the spaces to be even, I wanted a top and bottom border. With that in mind, I laid out the beginning of my painting.

After I laid out the piece, I stared at it for quite some time. It was almost as if I was afraid to paint it, the growing desire to get started eventually won. I began with the borders and surrounding areas of the figures.

I balanced work on this project with work for my business. This piece was for me. I didn’t know if I would even share it with others. It was a piece that was a need for me and not necessarily something I would market.

The apprehension gave way to excitement quickly. I would go to bed thinking about it and wake up anxious to spend some time on it. I excitedly filled in most of the details surrounding the figures feeling good about the work. But then there were the women, they were just sitting there mostly untouched. Selfdoubt decided to sit down at the easel with me and I was almost afraid to add details to the women.

I allowed this to steep in me for a few days. I found that I missed the project more than I was afraid of it. With that realization, I began working on the women. As I moved through the many layers of this painting, I felt empowered, and my excitement grew.

One hundred and four hours later, The Four Seasons was complete. I found the process to be a metaphor for the seasons. Winter stood quietly, subtle, yet encouraging. The idea was there, not ready to bloom yet. Spring planted solidly the idea, the hope, and the wanting. Summer was active and encouraging. The bloom was in reach. Autumn, my favorite season, a sense of completion, connection, and peace.

Thank you, Mr. Mucha for your magnificent work. You are an inspiration. This process taught me much -- mostly, to follow my heart.

Susan Carmen Duffy has created a deck of Affirmation Cards. To learn more about these beautiful reflections of positivity for your life, please read all about them in the January 2024 Issue of Zebra Ink Magazine.

Susan Carmen-Duffy

From my earliest memory, words and art supplies have been some of my most inspired and faithful companions. By the age of seven I was writing and illustrating my own magazine, replicating it on my gumby lightboard and asking my family to buy a copy.

As a mixed media artist, my style is often whimsical and full of color. I am inspired by the beauty of nature and pay special reverence to the feminine. Each medium in art has its strength, the wonder is revealed after the layers have been carefully applied on watercolor paper or canvas.

As a professional artist for over forty years, my awardwinning work has been collected throughout the United States as well as Internationally. My writing has been published in several anthologies, and online zines. My business, Create Art 4 Good, and greeting card business, Greetings 4 Good not only share art, and facilitate workshops, but also pay it forward including a donation from every sale to a local charity.

WRUTH MEDLIN

hen I was a kid in school, a grade of 98% on a test was pretty darned good. It showed that I had prepared for the test. I had studied. I had memorized the material until I was certain that my efforts would produce a good grade. Most of the time, I was correct, 98% was enough for me.

That’s why I decided to stay home for the solar eclipse day on April 8, 2024. I was but a scant few miles from a town that would be in the path of totality, 100%. I figured that my own back yard would give me a very good view, even if my location was estimated to be at 98% of totality.

It’s funny how life gives one the opportunity to make decisions based on mathematical outcomes. Weather forecasters predict our chances in the weather department…”There’s a 60% chance of rain tomorrow, so be sure to keep that umbrella handy,” or “There’s going to be some overnight snowfall, I’m predicting somewhere between 1-2”, so no need for shoveling before your morning drive to work.” Farmers use mathematics to calculate planting seasons for their crops. Home builders give estimated dates to their homeowners of when they will complete their building, weather notwithstanding. It seems like the entire world uses mathematical computations to figure out about everything. So, I was fairly confident in my decision to witness the solar eclipse that would give me a pretty good view while sitting out on my back patio.

The day presented itself with a few morning clouds that gave way to a beautiful cerulean sky with plenty of sunshine and a prediction of 73 degrees. At 2:00 pm, I went outside all decked out with

my wide brimmed hat, my solar safety glasses, and a bottle of water. I positioned my chair to just the right angle towards the sun, turning it to the southeast. I sat down and I immediately felt the warmth of the sun. The trees were still and the birds, oh my, the birds were singing such a cacophony of sound! I also began to realize that most of my neighbors were outside in their patios too. One was hosting a ‘watch party’ while others came out of their homes at various intervals, peeking up to the sky through their solar glasses that were perched at varying degrees on their noses.

The breeze began to pick up, at first so subtly that I barely noticed, but then, my arms began to feel cool. I tugged on a sweatshirt. It was a bit of a challenge to keep toggling between my solar glasses when I wanted to look up at the sun and my regular sunglasses when I wanted to watch my backyard growing dimmer. I was fascinated by the hue of the trees. They went from bright green leaves to dim brown ones, like an old-fashioned sepia photo. I realized that everything around me was taking on that same brownness, like fine gossamer curtains in an old Victorian home, dropping over the windows to shade rooms from the heat of the day while at the same time, allowing just enough sunlight to seep through their sheerness, muting the rooms colors to a single, dull hue.

Then, at 3:08 pm, the eclipse reached its zenith-98% of totality. Everything turned silent. The birds stopped chirping. My neighbors stood awestruck with only muted murmurs of wonder. “Oh my gosh,” I whispered, sitting perfectly still with my face tilted upward, my wide-brimmed hat falling off the back of my head. For a few moments, we were all transfixed, filled with amazement at this moment in time. We were witnessing celestial history, right in our own respective backyards. Then, slowly things began to resume in their ordinary way. The kids next door, who had been corralled by their parents during the eclipse, now unleashed, began running around the yard with their dog, Rocky, madly dashing after them. The brownness of the day faded slowly back to green, and the warmth of the day returned. I stepped

back inside the house. I felt a bit dazed, not myself. “Well, that was Something,” I muttered, “really, really something!” The remainder of the day was consumed with newscasters professing to have captured the best photos of the eclipse, and of course the local back stories of folks that provided the human element. They expressed feelings that we all craved because it made us seem in alignment with each other and maybe for just a few brief moments, a little bit closer.

My solar afterglow persisted for a couple of days, and I found that the topic of most every conversation I encountered began with the question, “Did you see the eclipse?” followed by words like amazing, wonder and oneness. I understood in a finite way, that I had made the right decision to stay in my own backyard. 98% turned out to be just right for me.

Ruth Medlin is a writer who lives in Cincinnati, Ohio. She worked in the fields of education and public service. Ruth enjoys cooking, reading, and traveling. Her first book, Me and Mar, will be published in 2024.

Please connect with Ruth in her Facebook group Clementines.

The Love of Bundt

My interest in bundt cakes was sparked by an episode of The Today Show on NBC.

Jamie Lee Curtis was a guest and shared her lemon bundt cake recipe. She actually made it on the show and talked about how her family requests this cake. Her grandchildren love this recipe and only ask for lemon bundt cake for their birthdays.

I remembered that I had a bundt cake pan and decided to try the lemon bundt cake.

It was so easy using cake mix and pudding and just a few ingredients. I started researching other recipes online and came across my favorite, rum bundt cake.

I now make this cake for every occasion and give as gifts. I make several each week for neighbors, friends and a local business.

To add an additional layer of presentation, I found beautiful decorative round boxes at Hobby Lobby and deliver cakes in these boxes. It’s easy to transport and makes a great gift.

I hope you enjoy bundt cakes as much as I do, below is my favorite recipe. As a bonus, I make a bourbon whipped cream to serve with this cake. Cheers!

JEAN OBLAWSKI

Rum Cake

Cake Recipe:

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecan

1 package yellow cake mix

4 large eggs

1/2 cup dark rum

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1 (3.5 ounce) instant vanilla or coconut pudding

Glaze:

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup white sugar

1/8 cup water

1/4 cup rum

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour 10 inch bundt pan.

Sprinkle nuts over bottom of pan.

Mix together cake mix, eggs, rum, water, oil, and pudding.

Pour over nuts in the pan. Bake 1 hour.

Cool in pan 15 minutes.

Make glaze while cake is cooling.

Melt butter on stove top over medium heat. Stir in sugar and water into melted butter; bring to boil. Cook stirring constantly for about 5 minutes; remove from heat and stir in rum.

Poke holes in cake pour warm glaze over cake.

Invert after about 5 minutes and continue to cool.

Serve with sprinkled confectioner sugar and whipped cream.

Jean enjoys retirement after a 40 year career in finance, the last 25 years as a finance manager with PNC in Pittsburgh.

She is blessed with great friends and enjoys working out, traveling and spending quality time with her life partners Nick and dog, Georgie.

Jean Oblawski

The Making of Guerrilla Prince

DERRICK BELL

Do you know how to make a bad situation work for you?

Let me tell you the story of how I turned a challenging situation into a platform to help underserved youth in my community.

It was a Saturday morning over 20 years ago. I’m living in my childhood bedroom at my mom’s house with my future ex-wife and our three children. It’s cramped, crowded, and borderline chaotic with the kids running around. I had just been released from a federal halfway house after doing five years for a drug conviction. I needed to make a change to our situation. After a few months of searching, I found work at a lighting company that supplies everything needed for movie sets. It was easy work, but it was not fulfilling.

One day, I got a phone call from my friend, Roscoe, who told me about a personal trainer job. Huh? Me, a trainer? I said, “I ain’t no trainer!” - along with some other choice words. Being a good friend, Roscoe wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried to talk me into it; convincing me that, with some modifications, the training routines we did in the Feds would suit the stay-at-home moms & high-level execs the gym had as clients. And the pièce de résistance? He told me he had already given my name to the manager at Crunch Fitness, and I better not make him look bad. So, with trepidation, I went & met Neil, a short, white guy with a mean sneaker game. He explained the possibilities & urged me to try the training position for 30 days. He said I could return to my warehouse job if I didn’t like working at Crunch. What did I have to lose?

I went to my warehouse managers & told them I was going to take a month’s leave. They had no problem because it was an unpaid leave, so this training thing

needed to work. Neil showed me how to prospect clients, work the floor, & host orientations for new members. Another challenge presented itself: talking to strangers. Part of my job entailed approaching potential clients while they were on treadmills or coming out of spin class. Doing penitentiary time can force you to adopt a closed-off attitude. These new job requirements put me way outside my comfort zone by requiring me to start conversations with people who I felt were already looking at me like I was some sort of nuisance. My guard was up and I wondered if maybe they did not want to talk to me because I am black. What’s up with that?

Looking back now, one could make a case for my perceptions. I saw my white colleagues get responses that I felt I should have gotten. They got a “yes” when I was told, ”maybe later.” Or when they sold training packages to clients who wouldn’t buy from me. I couldn’t get caught up in that. I had to be Pi & work on my approach, which I knew would change everything. I needed to do something different.

Next door to Crunch was a Barnes & Noble bookstore. I would sit in there & read a myriad of books - how to start conversations, different staples of athletic training, and understanding the body. If I wanted this to work, I learned I would have to be vulnerable because people appreciate honesty, transparency, and humility, no matter who or where you are. It took about five days until I landed my first client, a travel nurse who was funny & showed me how to be accommodating but firm.

That was the beginning of my 20+ year career in fitness & training. When I received my first check, I realized it was a no-brainer - I’m a trainer! I called my manager at the lighting warehouse & said, “Hey Arnold, I want to thank you guys for everything, but

I’m not returning.” I had found something I was passionate about that would allow me to provide for my family how I wanted.

My run at Crunch lasted five years. During that time, I gained the courage to start Guerrilla Prince Athletics, an athletic development company that doesn’t train players but develops athletes. That venture has made such a positive impact on my community that I, with my exceptional business partner, Kimberley Downer, created two supporting ventures: Guerrilla Prince Consulting, an educational consulting organization that provides academic options to talented student-athletes, and GP In the Midst Inc., a nonprofit dedicated to shrinking the wealth gap by using athletics to create education cornerstones in families. With our support, belief, and commitment, we are making an impact and doing great work together.

Looking back now, I’m not sure where I would be today if I didn’t get that call that Saturday morning. Shout out to Roscoe for making me jump in the deep end.

Coach Derrick “Pi” Bell - Founder, CEO, and head trainer at Guerrilla Prince Fitness & Athletics.

He holds certifications in multiple fitness categories, such as strength & conditioning, sports performance training, and boxing. With over 20 years of experience in personal training, Derrick’s focus is to help all fitness-level enthusiasts reach their goals.

What distinguishes Derrick from other trainers is his commitment to scholar-athletes. He realizes a disconnect within his community concerning their expectations and aspirations with the public school system. Too many talented athletes are being overlooked academically or taken advantage of athletically. He works with scholar-athletes to bring them to their next training level. Derrick’s goal is for his scholar-athletes to dominate their sport and studies. His dedication to helping athletes inspired the creation of Guerrilla Prince Consulting. Ten years in high school consulting and placement resulted in scholar-athletes being placed in boarding schools such as Taft, Trinity-Pawling, St. Thomas Moore, and the Brunswick School. Some of the country’s top high school football players participate in his football combines. They have gone on to schools such as The University of Wisconsin, Cornell University, Duke, the University of Albany, and the University of New Hampshire. To find out more about any of the programs that Derrick runs, please visit: Guerrilla Prince Athletics, Guerrilla Prince Consulting or GP In the Midst Inc.

Hairstory Hairstory

SANDY EVENSON

Mary sat in my styling chair early one Saturday morning. She was a painfully shy introvert with a nondescript appearance.

Everything about her was medium. Mary’s hair was medium brown, cut in a medium-length bob, while wearing little to no makeup.

I still feel a heartbreaking gut wrench as I remember how I learned to approach her haircut with the caution I gave children.

She flinched whenever I came near her eyes to trim her fringe (aka bangs). I sensed she had past trauma, so I remained alert for signs of ongoing issues.

Mary realized that her image needed to be updated for her job on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. The competition was fierce, and she had to get noticed to get a promotion. We scheduled a partial highlight to brighten her hair. She was even ready for a makeup lesson.

But first, I performed a color analysis using a computer-assisted method to gauge her precise hair, eye, and skin colors. (Was that early AI?)

After isolating her colors, I held them together in front of her.

Head bowed, Mary whispered, “They’re beautiful.”

“That’s because you’re beautiful, Mary,” I responded. Her eyes filled with tears, and I knew that Mary had never heard those words said to her before.

Like many women, Mary’s external enhancements improved her self-worth and confidence. She did get noticed and received that coveted promotion. A few months later, she took a big step and courageously asked a guy at work to go for coffee with her.

Today, Mary continues to stand in her power, a true example of Beauty from the Inside Out.

I met and coached many Marys from behind the chair in the salon. Sometimes, while coaching on Zoom these days, I feel a need to get up and stand behind the chair.

I’m proud and honored to continue to share my Beauty from the Inside Out concept with women worldwide.

Instead of starting with the outer image, we explore what’s hidden within us. It’s powerful inner work for outer success.

Do you feel stuck and disappointed that you’re not where you thought you’d be by now? What’s stopping you from becoming the person you were meant to be and living your best life?

Identifying your internal energetic blocks is the key to conquering any struggle in health, weight, relationships, or money. My unique approach provides a healing cocoon to uncover, heal, and clear hidden programmed beliefs and long-buried past wounds.

Women’s Empowerment Coach, multi-awardwinning bestselling author, and former hairdresser who honed her listening and coaching skills within the “sanctity of the chair” in the hair salon.

Sandy shares life stories, lessons, and wisdom while teaching potent techniques for stress relief. She guides readers through visualizing journeys to uncover, clear, and heal past wounds and subsequent emotional and physical pain. The overarching theme of her work focuses on helping women tap into their authentic power, beauty, and brilliance to shine their best lives in health, wealth, and meaningful relationships.

“Hairstory” is reprinted from Sandy Evenson’s Substack newsletter, Beauty From The Inside Out. https://sandyevenson.substack.com/

Find out more about Sandy and her offerings at https://www.sandyevenson.com/

Embracing Disorder: The Art of Purposeful Mess for Personal Growth

Explore the power of welcoming messiness in routines, spaces, and relationships to foster innovation and resilience.

Introduction:

At first glance, intentionally creating messes seems counterproductive for personal development. Selfhelp gurus and productivity experts often tell us that being organized and tidy is the path to productivity and self-improvement. However, with an open mind, controlled messiness can be leveraged creatively to help us grow and flourish, especially in our inner lives.

Embrace Flexibility

One way is to embrace ambiguity and looseness in our routines. Most of us seek structure in calendars and to-do lists to reduce anxiety and feel accomplished. However, allowing some flexibility in schedules can enhance cognitive function. If we tightly control every day, our brains go on autopilot. We stimulate new neural connections by injecting variety and uncertainty into our habits. This injection of variety and uncertainty leads to innovative solutions as we adapt to small daily changes and find order in the mess. Intentionally varying our workout routines, social activities, and household chores frees us from the rut of rigidity.

Stimulate Creativity

Similarly, permitting clutter in our spaces can nourish creativity. Clean lines and bare surfaces are refreshing, but a touch of disarray introduces randomness that inspires the imagination. Research

shows that levels of ambient noise enhance abstract thinking. Background chaos nudges the mind to make unexpected connections by competing with linear thought patterns. Soft background music or keeping a slightly cluttered workspace can have this effect by introducing welcome disorder.

Make Time for Incubation

Allowing reflective time for our minds to wander also unlocks innovation. Constant productivity can impair incubation the mental processing underlying creativity. Build in unstructured time to shower, take walks, or even do household chores. Letting our brains meander freely without an agenda often yields solutions as pieces fall into place amid the mental mess.

Welcome Diverse Relationships

Creating uncertainty in relationships provides growth opportunities. Nurturing only friendships that are predictable and comfortable may starve emotional intelligence. Seek messiness by befriending people very different from yourself. Tolerating disagreements and differing perspectives builds empathy and character. You emerge with a nuanced worldview from navigating these disorganized relationships.

Embrace Spontaneity

Similarly, resisting the urge to hyper-optimize and over-plan aspects of life leaves room for the spontaneity and uncertainty that make life joyful. Perfectly curated vacations, social media feeds, and family photos convey a misleading sense of control.

ROBERT MERLO

Allow some messiness here as well leave room for uncertainty and go with the flow when things veer off-script. The disorder makes the adventure.

Accept Inner Conflicts

Internal emotional conflict is part of the human experience. Accepting this mental messiness helps us become more self-aware and resilient. Challenging emotions like anger, fear, and grief don’t necessarily need quick fixes. Making space for them to run their course often leads to new understandings and personal breakthroughs. Be patient, sitting with the psychological mess within.

Lean Into Discomfort

Trying new things always involves operating outside our comfort zone in a space of awkwardness and uncertainty; rather than avoiding activities where you lack skills and feel out of control, lean into them mindfully. Allowing yourself to make beginner’s mistakes in sports, hobbies, and classes without harsh self-judgment will create a messy process but engender self-confidence.

Embrace Paradoxes

On a spiritual level, embracing paradoxes and conflicts allows for personal growth. Ancient wisdom traditions from Buddhism to Christianity emphasize the limits of human rationality and the need for faith when confronted with life’s inherent chaos. Healthy uncertainty creates openness. Asking big, unanswerable questions can be transformative, even if it leads to messier existential conclusions.

Conclusion

With the right mindset, injecting controlled messiness

into our lives can catalyze creativity, strengthen character, foster wisdom, and expand perspective. The disorder forces us to find new possibilities and meaning. Of course, chaos is destructive. The key is embracing just enough messiness to remain agile and innovative and liberate randomness from monotony. By learning to cultivate and operate within fruitful disorganization, we open doors to understanding ourselves and the world around us in more profound ways. With this mental agility, we can turn uncertainties into opportunities for personal growth.

Sources of Inspiration:

Abrahamson, Eric. “Disorganization Theory and Disorganizational Behavior: Towards an Etiology of Messes.” Research in Organizational Behavior. vol. 24, (January 01, 2002): 139 -80.

Abrahamson, Eric, and David H. Freedman. A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder - How Crammed Closets, Cluttered Offices, and on-theFly Planning Make the World a Better Place. Little, Brown, 2007.

A graduate of the University of Rochester and the Charles H. Lundquist College of Business at the University of Oregon, Robert Merlo is employed in the Ed Tech Industry. He lives in Rochester, New York with his wife, a 3rd-grade teacher, and their 13-year-old daughter.

Find out more about Robert on LinkedIn.

IMAGE SOURCE: ‘Experience’ by Studio 365 TH | The Noun Project

Healing Through Psychedelics

Grief is a funny thing; it has a way of reaching back in time and touching painful memories and emotions we’ve long forgotten. After the death of my husband, and the subsequent death of my mother a year later, the pain I had experienced as a young girl with an overly critical mother resurfaced. I was desperate to ward off feeling stuck in old trauma and I turned to my spiritual practice, Shamanism, searching for release. Shamanism played a significant role in helping me through the death of my husband, but I found I could not shake the grief and anger I was experiencing toward my mother. So, I dove deeper and explored traditional shamanic healing rituals with plant medicine. In my search, I discovered a documentary on the effects Ketamine, MDMA and various plant-based psychedelics had on healing trauma.

Now, as a “good girl” raised in a Catholic family, drugs were a no-no. I never crossed this line. If anyone would’ve told me that at age 72, I would be exploring psychedelics to ease emotional and spiritual suffering, I would’ve scoffed at their suggestion.

I couldn’t explain how it all came together but, in a strategic stroke of synchronicity and perfect alignment, a message of reassurance was delivered that I was on the right path, when I found myself lying on my bed with a trained sitter beside me as I drifted into an altered state. I had no idea what would surface and what part of me needed healing first. I was told to trust the medicine to show me what I needed to heal and to just surrender. Critical to my sense of safety was my “sitter” whom I trusted and who tended to my safety during the process.

The journey began to feel extremely sacred. The

CATHY BRUNO

drifting was pleasant. Shortly, I heard a tiny voice inside me say, “I want my mom.” With that request, I found myself floating down a gentle river and on the banks of the river, I was shown passing images of my childhood. Rather than the mother who shamed and criticized me unmercifully, I saw a mother who radiated her love for me. I heard myself saying repeatedly, Wow! Wow! Wow!

As the journey continued, I saw images of her nuzzling close to me reading me stories, pushing me playfully on a swing, holding me gently in her arms while speaking to me with tones of love, walking me to school with my hand in hers, and more. The veil was lifted, and the gift of the medicine allowed me to see my mother’s life from her perspective.

Stepping back in time, I was repeatedly shown images of her and the challenges she faced in the 1950’s with four children and one on the way. With astounding clarity of emotions within me, I could feel her drowning in a religious and family culture that offered no encouragement of her deepest expression. Depression and sadness suppressed her. I was her second child, and the clarity of her revelation in this journey was she wanted no more children after I was born. However, the heavy hand of the catholic church, my father’s insatiable sexuality, her own fertility, and a ban on contraceptives and abortions did not allow her that choice. She was forced to have babies as expected. She felt trapped and her soul was seized and for her to survive she was forced to put herself in a box.

Deeper into the journey, somatic waves of clarity and memory washed over me as I watched my mother make herself unattractive, overweight, and unappealing.

Photo credit Diane Hibbard

She suppressed all expression of sensuality, sexuality, and creative expression. She was depressed, lonely for love, and hated herself. Being her oldest daughter, in a strange dichotomy, I became her helper, her confidant, and her biggest threat. By this I mean, any creative or typical adolescent curiosity or expression by me had to be quashed. It became too painful for her to watch me grow and thrive and fly in ways she could not. Compelled to make me feel bad or wrong, her resentfulness of my budding development and freedom reminded her of her lack of it. My mother clipped my wings, and I had no choice but to stay with her in her box so she would not be alone.

For five hours I experienced waves and waves of information and understanding. Magically it was as if I was channeling her, as she guided me to her heart and soul. As I was coming out of the journey, I could feel the shift begin to happen inside of my heart. I realized my mother did love me. She wanted me, admired me, and was so proud of who I was becoming. But my mother wanted her own freedom and wanted to soar. Through tears of sorrow and joy, I knew she was watching me. In that moment, I could feel my forgiveness from the deepest recesses of my soul and the grief and anger was replaced with deep love for her in my heart. This peace brought deep and lasting healing and continues to this day.

At the end of the journey, I found myself drawn to her photo on my dresser. Now as I gazed at her picture, I noticed her face was glowing as she smiled joyously from ear to ear. The reflection of the sun upon the water behind her seemed to arc around her head emanating what appeared to be some angelic force making itself known at the crown of her head. Who is this young woman? I asked myself. “Your mother,” my heart replied.

Cathy Bruno has been a practicing psychotherapist for 18+ years. Working with clients through the years, it has become evident that many people resonate more effectively with holistic interventions. They find solutions and guidance that seem to rise up out of nowhere and move them toward the heart and soul of who they truly are, finding deep comfort and healing. As a matter of practice, Cathy began to move beyond psychopathology, using less traditional practices, and widening the lens toward more transpersonal, somatic and spiritual approaches.

In 2013, Cathy’s personal transformation was drawn to the practice of shamanism. She resisted for a long time until she could no longer silence her interest. The more she learned, the deeper she fell in love with its practices both in her personal life and professional life. Cathy found that shamanism dovetails nicely with psychotherapy.

Cathy believes she is a better psychotherapist because of Shamanism and embraces the gifts it delivers every day for herself and her clients. Believing no one should walk the path to their true self alone, she would be honored to walk beside you. To find out more about Cathy Bruno, please visit https://www. walkingyoursacredpath.com.

Mistakes I have made in Publishing Part I

SHEILA KENNEDY

Ihave built a platform on which independent authors and those that support them can thrive. It has been years in the making, and it started last year when I published a digital magazine, Zebra Ink. This year I am launching a digital directory of independent authors, publishing service providers, and independent bookstores.

Having been in the publishing industry as either an author or a publisher since 2013, I have learned a thing a two. Yet, I am still concerned about making this platform, an entire eco-system, as one of my clients called it – successful. I built it out of necessity. The funny thing about fear is that it tells me lies daily about no one being interested or it not being valuable. I know that it is not true.

How can I be so sure? Because I know I would have loved this platform when I first started. I needed this platform when I began and still do today. Everyone needs a cheerleader and a community of supporters. We all need a place to ask questions and get honest and useful answers. Most every author is capable of getting the work done to publish a book, but going to a central location to find information is crucial. I have built what I wished I had, so no one else can say they don’t have support.

Sheila Kennedy is Author and Publisher at The Zebra Ink.

My personal platform and social currency are not the largest by any stretch of the imagination. I haven’t made the New York Times best-seller list. I have sold a few thousand of my own books, but not nearly as many as I wanted to. In fact, I rarely mention that I have authored books because I am embarrassed by the quality of each book for a different reason. I have made so many mistakes in my publishing journey that sometimes I feel like I have no business being a part of the industry.

The interesting part of having made mistakes and even failing at times, means that I get to learn from those experiences. I get to make it better for the next time. Every single time I fall, I get back up smarter and more resilient. My commitment to making it better for everyone I get to work with gets stronger. My missteps are precisely what qualify me with the knowledge and audacity to think I can help others do it better than I have.

The very first time I was published in a book, it was part of an anthology of women who experienced challenging times, made it through, and were thriving. I paid $97 to write eight hundred words about how I had

overcome adversity and was thriving. This was back in 2012 and I had experienced awful trauma earlier that year and thought I had made my way through it. That was my first mistake … that trauma is something that still impacts my life, but definitely wasn’t understood in 2012. I was deeply entrenched in survival mode and had absolutely no business trying to tell other women how to thrive. I now share with authors that are in survival mode to write everything they feel down, but to wait for a while before they consider publishing. Time and distance away from challenges and trauma change perspective. The lessons learned cannot even begin to form until after survival mode is a thing of the past.

How I thought I could share anything meaningful in eight hundred words is beyond me and that was mistake number two. I am all about being succinct, but if your story is full of nuance and details, eight hundred words cannot do it justice.

Mistake number three involved writing about someone other than myself. I had to dance around the cause of the trauma without naming names or exact details. The fear that I feel to this day about how that person would react if they knew what I wrote still haunts me. I am hyper-vigilant with clients now about how they mention other people and how to protect themselves as a result.

The funny thing about that book is that I remember thinking quite clearly when submitting my copy, that even if the other one hundred women in the book were the only ones who read it, I would be able to impact one hundred lives with my story. It turns out that there were about 30,000 copies of that book sold and multiple awards won before it was taken off the market. If I had known it would reached that many people, I wouldn’t have written what I did. I breathed a sigh of relief when I was told that the book would no longer be available because of a dispute between the publisher and some of the authors. That was another lesson learned … there is power in having a contract.

All in all, it was a great first experience with publishing, despite the mistakes made along the way. I saw how the publisher marketed the book, and the power of what a group of authors could do together. Being my first experience having an Amazon best-selling book that won awards, I fell in love with the idea of books and what they could do in the marketplace and for someone’s individual platform.

That book was released in January 2013 and by September of 2013, I decided to author my own solo book. Look for part two in this series for that experience. Oh – and if you are intrigued at all about this platform I have constructed, check out www. thezebraink.com. I would love to have you join us!

PURCHASE

Freeing Yourself Financially: A Woman’s Guide to Rebuilding Her Finances after Divorce, by Kristin Paul, is a step-by-step guide to gaining control of your finances post-divorce.

Joie Gharrity shares her signature journey to being her own superstar, along with the Expand Your Love Capacity Daily Habits so you too have the secret sauce to being your own superstar too.

PURCHASE

Painting the Landscape of Loneliness, by Olivia Ash, empowers you to become the artist of your own life, enabling you to paint over the landscape of loneliness with vibrant colors of connection, self-awareness, and purpose.

Within these pages, Janet-Lynn invites you to savor The Million Dollar Soup, a metaphorical feast that mirrors the complexity and richness of your life.

Just the Two of Us, by Nicolle Nattrass, is a tender-hearted guide on how to use Creative Journaling as a key recovery tool to help children (age 4 and up) to connect and process stress, anxiety, trauma.

Christine Baker Marriage shares how to stop being busy and start being productive with her time management strategies. A must read for anyone overwhelmed by needing more time.

PURCHASE

Life is a Ride documents author Chris Joseph’s Stage 3 Pancreatic cancer journey from terror and doubt to independence, redemption, love and hope.

PURCHASE

The memoir is not just about Grace Harlow Klein; the “We” in the title is meant to convey the universal drive to understand our self, our life’s journey to create a meaningful life.

As Hood to Hooded unfolds, Dr. Cheryl Cooper is open and vulnerable about her struggles, fears, and disappointments of a troubled life—and her ultimate response to them. Education and advocacy came in the form of bold new courage that inspired a mentoring program that can and will change the future.

In the Red Carpet Guide to Visibility and Influence, Joie Gharrity shares tangible Visibility and Influence strategies, techniques and tips; the book doubles as a guide for entrepreneurs to implement her branding and marketing techniques easily and quickly.

Stephanie McKeith wisely shares the essence of an ENDOCANNABINOID SYSTEM and the various medical issues stemming therefrom; she sends readers in the “right direction” in the complexities surrounding the cannabis plant and science.

Drowning, by Katelin Maloney, tells a compelling and all too realistic story of suburban domestic violence. Maloney gives a hauntingly realistic look into the struggles of too many victims and their perpetrators who are living a life of lies.