Anna Weber and Sheila Kennedy at Publishing, Promotion and Profits in June 2017. The start of a beautiful friendship.
Birthright
TRACY CHAMBERLAIN HIGGINBOTHAM
Iwas lying on my back, staring up at the overcast sky, with grass tickling my ears and golden leaves falling from the trees, as my heart remembered a childhood memory from this exact spot sixty miles from my home. Closing my eyes, I remembered hearing children laughing, smelling charcoal burning, watching snippets of teens playing tag, and feeling my heart warm to the memories of my parents laughing with their physical education co-workers. In the distance, I also heard a waterfall, and it all came tumbling back. This was a childhood haunt I had forgotten about.
Raised as the daughter of two athletic parents who owned a ski shop, taught, coached, and loved nature, I enjoyed the pleasures of growing up on a lake learning how to waterski, swim, and sail in the summer. By the age of five, I was skiing every weekend on bunny trails at a ski area where my mother taught ski lessons. As time went on, we skied at bigger mountains with red round gondolas and bumped courageously through icy moguls. We were all round year athletes.
When it came time for my sister and I to choose our careers, she followed in my parents’ footsteps going to their alma mater and obtaining the same degrees they
held. Oppositely, I decided teaching and coaching wasn’t for me, so I went to school for business and left athletics behind, except to try my hand at refereeing club mixed water polo one semester, which wasn’t exactly as fun as I thought it would be.
As soon as I became a mother with two sons, I enrolled them in sports knowing how much I loved it at their age. We put up a basketball court and lacrosse goal, added a pool, and taught the boys how to skate and fish on our property’s pond, also allowing them to ski, snowboard, and ice fish in colder months. I lived sports through them until they left for college and then suddenly, I missed sports, even if I wasn’t the one participating in them. I would watch ESPN, as my older son did all the time, to be in touch with athletics in some way.
When my son Thomas became the basketball manager for the Boston College Men’s team, I traveled five hours back and forth each way to have first row seats at Conte Forum on campus. Watching my father’s favorite coaches, like Duke’s Coach Krzyzewski or North Carolina’s Coach Roy Williams, courtside was some of my favorite events to attend besides watching my son working for the team. I should have known then my love for sports had taken a turn.
One day after a busy day of work, I knew it was time for me to replenish my own newfound sense of athletics, so I started jogging and running. Eventually, I trained to run and complete the 2017 Boston Marathon and traveled to England to run in an all-women’s marathon with a team of three international women. I started a Women’s Athletic Network and invited other women to join me in fun adventures and sports like white water rafting, 5k races, and supporting the Syracuse University Women’s Basketball team at games. It was only the beginning of an awakening at the age of 50.
So, two years ago, when I rose off the grass at my childhood haunt, where I was trying outside autumn yoga, I shared my memories with the instructor of being there in my childhood and my love for athletics. She looked at me and quietly said, “Sports is your birthright, Tracy.” I never thought of it that way. I was born into an athletic family with sportsloving parents. I did in a sense run away from it to be independent and choose my own career path in life. Now, I wanted it back.
That day, on my hour ride home, I committed to myself to involve sports in my everyday life, even trying every single sport once in my lifetime. I wrote and blogged about it to inspire other women to try more sports. My website was born within the month. Women of all different ages have since joined me in flying trapeze, curling, parasailing, field hockey, minitriathlon, standup paddle board yoga, and mountain biking infusing the thrill of movement and confidence into their lives.
It is only the beginning of this life-long pursuit, and one I intend on finishing whether jumping out of an airplane skydiving, riding a motorcycle in motorcross, snowboarding down a mountain, or just lying on my back trying Moonlight Pilates. Sports are my birthright. I am so happy I found it in time.
Tracy Chamberlain Higginbotham is a 30-year woman entrepreneur, published author, blogger, feminist, and athlete. She believes the world won’t change for women unless women change the world for women.
Find out more about Tracy at https://www. tracyhigginbotham.com/
Poetry by Sara Castaneda
Sara Castaneda is a Dallas, Texas poet. She graduated from American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City and went on to work as an actor in New York and Sydney, Australia. She moved to Los Angeles working as a Casting Associate at DreamWorks and ABC. She returned to Texas and writes poetry full time. Her poems reflect observations from the everyday through her experiences and her lens of humankind’s rich history and cultures. Her first book of poetry, Underdog Bet (Pegasus Publishers) is set for release in 2025. She is currently working on her second book.
DANDELIONS
I think the dandelion is a bit like all of us. we are beautiful although a weed –but that’s what makes us different from the usual bloom we are resilient… we have to be. some of us sprout in a field some through the cracks of a sidewalk but wherever it may be we survive we are poets we are the dandelion itself and the little downy parachutes of seeds that wishes are made upon are the poems we create. it’s different for each person their poetry but that’s the beauty of the wish …our poem.
FIVE COURSE DINNER
An out of the way restaurant a table set for two a five course dinner your Prince has reserved a grand gesture just for you.
The amuse bouche arrives quietly a taste of the night to come Are you happy? your Prince asks you I love you so my dearest one.
The fish course is introduced a fragile beauty…a delight! encrusted by a salted dome jeweled snow in soft candlelight.
The waiter chips away at the delicate crystal dome somehow the fish seems naked a disappointment, she stands alone.
Some of the fantasy’s faded the fish, it tastes a bit odd a bitterness, it lingers and now she tastes like a fraud.
Politely you excuse yourself to visit the powder room
Give me your phone your Prince says
Tonight it’s just me and you.
Hesitant you hand it over you don’t like this ask from him somehow it doesn’t sit right perhaps it’s a fleeting whim.
The chicken is served upon your return the skin’s overcooked the skin has been burned.
You start to summon the waiter Prince quickly puts your hand down
No need to call attention my dear No need, I’m always around.
The Duck
But I don’t like duck you say But you will my darling, just try it my way.
The gaminess too much you fight the urge to scream I don’t like this meal at all! But you dare not make a scene.
Finally
Finally the cheese course the end
you want to get out you want to talk to a friend.
The check arrives He reaches to pay He forgot his wallet I’ve got it you say.
Back at your apartment he’s somehow casually moved in just pieces here and there but now it’s less you it’s more him.
Time presses on very slowly…so fast things have changed for you two the fairy tale has passed.
He’s put you on a pedestal it’s ruled by fear and isolation you stand on it bewildered the object of his fixation.
You’re exhausted
You’re broken
Your reality’s dim Who are you Who were you Who are you without him?
Then one day you see your reflection a hollow ghost stares back at you where is the woman you once were resolved, you know what to do.
In the dead of night you plot your escape there’s no room for error no room for mistakes.
You leap from your pedestal a blind leap of faith in yourself you must fight for your life or nothing all you have to escape this shelf.
Out in the world the sun shines you blink hard you’re not sure what to do you wander into a diner you look at the plastic menu.
No fancy five course dinner here just simple comfort food boldly you order one course one perfect course all for you.
Get up Eight
KRIS RENEE
I have a stalker.
Those are four words I never imagined myself writing.
Unfortunately, as much as it seems unbelievable (even now, after dealing with it for nearly two years), it is still very much a reality I’m living with.
If you think this is a story about how I overcame unsurmountable odds, you will be disappointed.
This is a tale of caution and perseverance. Of trusting your gut and being your own biggest, loudest advocate.
In enduring this very unwelcome burden, I was gobsmacked with some hard truths. First and foremost, broaching the subject of stalking is typically met with humor or unseriousness. I assure you that this is a profoundly serious matter. Another is that there appear to be more protections in place for the stalker than there are to protect the victim.
Alas, I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to when it all started.
For me, the signs that someone was lurking in the internet shadows those first few months were not easily identifiable. Busy “mom life” allowed me to brush off situations such as an uptick in reported social media videos, daily spam comments meant to flag my posts, and an increase in random phone calls on my cell from companies stating they were following up on my personal request for more information. When I, in fact, had never inquired about new shingles, plumbing, timeshares, or kitchen remodels (just to name a few).
So submersed in fielding these crazy calls, getting “scheduled” house visits from religious organizations,
appealing dozens of inaccurate video and post reports, and emailing Amazon daily regarding an influx of false reviews of my books, I was in panic survival mode.
By the time I realized all these inconvenient, ‘coincidental’ incidents were undeniably intentional and deliberate, the damage had been done. My TikTok account had been banned, my book sales plummeted, and my social media pages were under “warning of removal.”
Naturally, as I feel it would anyone, this took a toll on my mental health (and removed a hefty chunk of my pride). I had worked hard to create the fun, safe, and maybe a bit inappropriate-at-times internet presence that connected me with so many readers and fans. I used my social media as a tether to bridge Kris Renee, the personality, to Kris Renee, the author. To have that taken away due to baseless reports and flags was outlandish.
But he didn’t stop there. He even went so far as to Photoshop my personal pictures and post them on unsavory friend-finding sites along with my full name and hometown.
After discovering the identity of my stalker (due to a few mistakes and paper trails he’d inadvertently left behind), I hired legal aid and sent cease and desist letters. I spent hours documenting every incident and even sought out a protective order for my entire family. But, because of the laws in place to protect the perpetrator, I found myself in a stalemate. Helpless and at the mercy of the person intent on destroying my career.
I did the only thing I could think of doing at the moment. I walked away from everything for the safety of myself and my family. I didn’t quit. But I knew I
needed time to sort through the entire ordeal. To get myself in the right headspace, I needed to dive back into the internet world that I had become frightened of.
After months of counseling, and hundreds (I wish this were an exaggeration) of emails to Goodreads, Amazon, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook, my accounts are back in good standing, many (but certainly not all) of the reviews have been removed, and I have recently started to post again.
But I would be lying if I said I was not weary. Every time I hit “post,” my heart races, my anxiety shoots through the roof, and I am just plain scared. A few months ago, I released a new book that I barely advertised or talked about because I am no longer confident in what I say or do.
The road to redemption will undoubtedly be long and difficult. And while my stalker is certainly not gone— he has just gone quiet for now—I am optimistic that I will see this through to the end.
I hope to use my story for support and inspiration, to be a beacon of light for anyone who may find themselves in a similar situation. I strive to be living proof that even the worst of intentions can be turned around and used for good.
I aspire to prosper not only in my professional writing career but in my personal life as well.
Because if there is one thing my stalker has taught me. One singular thing he left behind in his wake of destruction. It is that I’m a fighter.
Knock me down seven, and I’ll get up eight, indeed.
Kris Renee is an Amazon All-Star romance author.
She lives in the Midwest.
Kris loves dangly earrings, reading, decorating, and peanut butter.
Oh! And ice cream!
Find out more about her at www.krisrenee.net.
What is your Kilimanjaro?
PEARLETTE J. RAMOS
In his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neuroscientist who appeared in the movie The Secret, talks about his research on the brain and body, the mind, consciousness and the quantum field. His work posits one central idea: We can achieve our potential as well as optimum health through the power of our minds. This is exciting because many of us think of ourselves and the things that happen to us in a limited or fixed way. How many times have you said or heard someone else say:
“This is just how I am.”
“I am not good at ___________.”
“I’m too____________ and I struggle with ________.”
These three statements are examples of how we commonly use self-limiting language to describe who we are and what we believe is possible for ourselves. Perception is our way of taking in the world—and it is limited by our senses and shaped by our biases. Mindset is a set of beliefs, assumptions, or notions we hold which orients the way we respond to life situations. The language we use to describe who we are works together with our emotions to form the impetus for our mindset which then drives our behaviors. When we repeat the thought-emotion-action cycle over and over again it becomes a patterned way we each engage with the world. Over time, we come to identify this patterned way of being as the “self.”
Sometimes our patterns work well for us; other times they do not. It is easy to become stymied
in life. We do this when we allow limited perceptions or a fixed mindset about who we are inhibit us from achieving our goals, dreams and aspirations. The good news is we can reframe self-limiting talk and negative self-concepts by rewiring and evolving our brains.
Dr. Dispenza often uses a saying: “Nerve cells that fire together, wire together.” I love this phrase because it reminds me habitual patterns are simply chemical reactions in the brain that can be transformed. We are not destined by the limitations that we or others may impose upon us. Rather, we each have the capacity to stretch, grow and transform negative thoughts and behaviors into self-empowering regenerative ones.
If we accept the idea that habitual thoughts are addictions to chemical patterns of thinking that are “wired” together, concepts related to neuroplasticity offers each of us the ability to “unwire” from selfdefeating patterns. “Neuroplasticity,” relates to the
brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. Our brains can even compensate for injury and disease—allowing us to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in the environment.
Thinking of ourselves from a biological perspective is beneficial because it affords each of us the opportunity to change our choices by changing the way we think. You can start by:
• Turning your attention inward by becoming mindful of your thoughts
• Acknowledging how you make meaning of your experiences
• Paying particular attention to critical or selflimiting thoughts
• Consciously committing to reframe and rewire negative inner talk
I recently produced a documentary called Three (Extra)Ordinary Women which tells the story of three unrelated women of color who experienced childhood trauma. Each woman went on to find the wisdom in their experiences which they’ve used to become leaders and advocates in the world. The women tell their stories as they climb Mt. Kilimanjaro--reflecting on the question: “What is my personal Kilimanjaro?” Viewers are invited into their inner dialogue and the mindset they each used to overcome significant life challenges. The film is as much about being born and raised in oppressive environments as it is about claiming your personal voice and agency despite the limitations that others may try to impose on you. Storytelling and the power of personal narrative are used to demonstrate how each woman found solace and healing by focusing on their capacity to create and regenerate even during difficult situations.
The next time you are asked, “Who are you?” or “What do you do?” respond by sharing a perspective that presents your strengths and abilities. Share something
you learned during your life that helped you become the person you are today. Provide insight on how you shifted a self-limiting idea into an opportunity for deeper understanding. In other words, use your own neuroplasticity to form new neural connections and transform the stories you tell about yourself.
Pearlette J. Ramos, Ph.D., J.D. is a civil rights lawyer, social justice advocate, entrepreneur and filmmaker. She facilitates empowerment workshops, provides resilience coaching and consulting, and leads travel adventures around the world.
To learn more about Pearlette and her film, please visit https://threeextraordinarywomen.com/
Prison Bars to Cult Classic: An Author is Born
KENNETH WILLIAMS
I
stood peering over the top tier of a Philadelphia Prison cell block; there were five of these institutions, all designed to house the city’s known undesirables. The section was called a pod, a division of a larger unit, and it encompassed sixty cells on the top and bottom tiers. There was a day room that included a TV, and tables used for meals, or playing cards or chess, (my favorite pastime). A single station, with a desk and phone was situated by a large metal sliding exit door, for a lone correctional officer. It amazed me how only one officer could control so many inmates. I would later learn the power of psychological reasoning.
The day room was crowded with killers, drug dealers, bank robbers and more who orbited the pod, gambling, arguing, yelling. The noise ricocheted off the large brick walls and was deafening. I looked at the chaos that I was now a part of and wondered how I would survive without having to hurt someone or being hurt myself. I saw my dreams and potential floating through the prison air. I was officially out of time, or was I? Right then I noticed a small contingent of inmates that had found a way to adjust to the rigmarole of prison life. It astonished me that something so simple could be so powerful. They were reading books, and oblivious to their surroundings. I had an epiphany. I had already myself become a voracious reader; first it was Sydney Sheldon and the Ayn Rand, then books on altruism, existentialism, physics, history, and religion. I had turned myself into a walking thesaurus and yearned for the time to express myself and formulate my own philosophies and opinions to inspire and uplift.
I decided then that I would write a book -- a novel about my personal experiences growing up in North Philadelphia. It would isolate me from the chaos of
prison life and hopefully I would survive unscathed. Although the backdrop of the book was during the height of the crack epidemic, replete with the crime, violence and misery that permeated the Black community during that period, I believe that it exposed the absurdity and delusions of the time.
My self-publishing journey started upon my release from Federal Prison. First, I obtained a couple of jobs, (construction and with the Philadelphia water department), neither job lasted nor moved my spirit.
I was only capitulating to the social construct. I was an entrepreneur at heart, a BOSS! I vowed that no one, would ever get to decide my lively hood, or any part of my future again. I had this book that I written, and it was time to get it out.
I had no knowledge of what it took to publish a book, but I knew that I wouldn’t be asked to publish. By chance, I came across a guy who had published a book himself. He had set up a stand and was selling it on a large Philadelphia Avenue. I sparked a conversation, extolling and congratulating him on his achievement, and then added that I had written a book. I shared that I was looking to self-publish and didn’t know where to start. He told me that he couldn’t help me and that I would have to figure it out as he had, alone. This really upset me, but I am a quick thinker. I purchased two of the books and his willingness to divulge information changed. It so happened that he had listed in the front cover of his book as credits, an editor, graphic designer, and a printer! That was all I needed, and the rest is history.
The book went on to become a cult success, thanks to a partnership with a renowned Philadelphia bookstore. I self-published it, and its success allowed me to return to school to obtain a degree in Journalism. From there I spawned the company Inverse Media, a media company designed to uplift, inform, and inspire with thought provoking stories, interviews, and content.
The moral of my story is that there are no boundaries, systems or ideas that could hold me back, even in the most abject circumstances. I chose not to allow
my environment to define me any longer, to not let stereotypes and conditions confine me. Instead, I decided to put pen in my hand and arm myself for my fight to live, to exist.
Kenneth Wiliams is an Author, Journalist, and freelance writer. He is also the Founder of Inverse Media. Kenneth is an advocate for prison reform and has worked with West Chester University (PA) on their “Clean Slate Initiative.” Kenneth’s experiences allow him to have a powerful voice, and he inspires to uplift and inspire youth to become future leaders in their communities. Kenneth resides in Philadelphia, and is currently working on his first documentary, to be released through Inverse Media.
I am the Sky
SHEILA DARLING
I am the Sky
You are the sky, everything else is the weather. -Pema
Chodron
My favorite quote came to life last week. As I was driving to Cape Cod, along the Massachusetts Turnpike, I came upon a wall of dense fog. It was late, dark and drizzly. I was scared. There was nowhere to turn off.
There were lights in my rearview mirror but nothing ahead of me. I longed for a car to pass me, I was going 40 mph and thought for sure someone would pass and I could then follow their taillights. No one did. I could not depend on someone else to save me from this nightmare.
Visibility was only about a foot in front of me. Then I saw a sign for a rest stop. 20 miles -- I could do it. I practiced my deep breathing and my mantra, the quote above. I could be steady, take it moment by moment, be afraid, and still move forward.
The rest stop came and went, as the fog was so dense I couldn’t see the turn off until I was on top of it with no time or space to turn.
On I went, repeating in my head all the things I know. Life happens moment by moment. There is no future and no past. I remembered that everything in the future is a fantasy and if I fantasized about a crash or going off the road that wasn’t my actual reality but a story going on in my head which was not serving me.
So again, I took a few breaths, becoming aware of the tension in my body, purposefully relaxing myself so that I could take this drive one mile at a time.
Like the fog crashing down on me, the truth of my favorite quote hit me. I am the sky, always constant, always there. The fog and the fear and the tension were just the weather. The weather comes and goes and is never constant.
Like every other thing in life, I am the constant. I get to decide how I will show up. I get to decide whether I get caught up in the tornado of everyday life or if I can be an intentional observer of my own body and how it responds to the everyday weather that is called life.
I shared this story with a client whose frail, 88 year old mother is
in the ICU after surgery. The metaphor of the fog and taking things moment by moment, or mile by mile, helped her to see that trying to control things around us is not the goal. Managing our own nervous systems, while in the weather of life, is the only thing we really have any control over.
And that can be ok.
There was a sense of peace that came over me as I continued on my drive over the Berkshire Mountains, in that curtain of fog. The peace of knowing myself, knowing that I don’t need to always know what’s coming. Knowing with certainty, that in each moment that I continued to drive and breathe, that I was well. I was alive and that the part of my life I was living was just a few of those moments strung together, like all of the other terrifying and challenging and joyful and funny parts of my life.
Driving on, the fog started to lift, and the beauty of the mountains could be seen, with the backdrop of the stars. The rain stopped and the moon was out, and I was there, driving mile by mile, breathing in and out.
As I remember the fear and the calm, I know I decided to stay present and that is what kept me safe and sane in those terrifying moments. I also know I can choose to do those same things at any time the weather in my life seems insurmountable.
And as I reflected on all the times that used these tools, I realized that I have embodied being the sky and that I can handle anything that comes my way. With grace and ease, I have managed much pain in my 61 years on this earth. Death and illness and parenting are the big ones that come to mind, but the smaller disappointments as well, like losing a job, a vacation snafu, a disagreement with my husband.
Throughout it all, I am the sky. Everything else is the weather.
Sheila Darling is a Life Coach. The above article is the basis for all that she teaches in her Life Coaching Program, Presence-PowerBelief. First the focus is on being present in our lives, in our bodies and fully experiencing all of the weather, sunny skies to hurricanes.
Second, focusing on our power, learning how our brains work together with our bodies to process all that we have lived through and all that we will be experiencing in the future so that we can live our lives with intention.
Thirdly there is belief, which is the practice of blending presence and power together, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, to create intentional, purpose driven lives.
To find out more about her and her coaching program, visit http://www.sheiladarling. com/
Invest in Yourself
CRYSTAL REILLEY
What if everything you thought you knew about yourself felt untrue?
I felt this way last year, and it was one of my toughest seasons. While I can’t say I have a bad life, I’ve faced many challenges. Even as I write this, the battle in my mind is real. What will people think? Is it stupid? Will it provide value? Am I good enough? Am I being too open and vulnerable? Will I hurt anyone by sharing? Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between the truth and the lies of the enemy.
Our minds are incredibly powerful and can play some gnarly tricks on us. Our words speak life or death. If we believe we can, we can. If we believe we can’t, we can’t. Both are correct. It’s easy to get wrapped up in ugly, negative thoughts. It is hard to focus on positives, especially when things are turbulent. Choosing to find the positives is crucial.
How can someone choose positivity when all they feel is hurt and pain?
1. Acknowledge the hard stuff. Bring it to light, no matter how dark it is.
2. Ask questions. What is positive? What lesson do I need to learn? How can I respond or react differently?
3. Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
4. Choose joy.
5. Choose to overcome the hard things.
Last year I felt lost, like a “midlife crisis,” not knowing what my true identity was. Questioning my value, I was miserable on the inside and silently suffering. Sharing the good times with the public, because I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable, open, and raw and show how I was a mess inside. I wasn’t ready to heal
or face my inner demons, and I wasn’t ready for God to work even more on me.
I stepped down from a business I loved, cherished, and was passionate about. I lost my passion for my real estate business; it suffered, and so did my finances. My stepdad had triple bypass surgery, and things were turbulent with my mother. My husband and I became “empty nesters” with two kids in college. I lost the relationship with my biological father, my uncle, and my baby sister, which is still so painful. My mom and stepdad sold their longtime home and temporarily moved in with us. My husband lost his well-paying job. Our finances were disastrous. We ended the year with me falling, getting a concussion, having major brain fog, and then my husband having some heart issues. There were so many “hard things,” and it felt like it was never-ending.
There were days when I could have easily stayed in bed --when my anxiety was so high I just wanted to cry and scream. Some days I didn’t shower or do anything because simple tasks were a challenge.
But GOD… Every day, I made the choice to get out of bed and brush my teeth. I made the choice to do something. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who encourage, love, and support me even though they may not have fully understood what was happening. Sharing deep-rooted, possibly shameful, or too-painful-to-share, private things can be hard. It’s natural for me to keep that to myself, but God keeps telling me to share. It is time. It is time to surrender, trust, heal, and move forward.
So, how did I rise? I made choices. It wasn’t easy, and started with little, simple choices, that led to bigger
Photo credit Diane Hibbard
choices. Choosing to invest in myself. I hired an amazing coach who believed in me and walked me through some of my darkest moments. She helped me formulate a plan to not stay stuck. Making a major impact on my life, she prayed and spoke life into me. She was the perfect person for me when I needed her.
I also made another investment in myself. Questioning if it was the right thing to do with how bad our finances were, I said yes to a certification/leadership program that was life-changing for me. It helped me dig deep into myself, understand my value, and how I was wired. It helped me understand that it was okay that I was created differently. This certification helped me not only understand myself but also to understand others. It taught me the how and why behind human behavior, and excellent words to communicate my value, communication styles, and motivators. I can use those same tools to help women, leaders, and business owners know themselves and help get them unstuck!
In one of my hardest seasons, feeling like a failure, a fraud, and lower than low, I stepped outside of my comfort zone, and invested in myself when I didn’t feel worthy or have the money. God laid it on my heart to “do the hard things” and made it clear I could persevere through them. I started a coaching business and a podcast to help others see their value, overcome the hard things, and step into their greatness.
If I can do this, anyone can. I pray this inspires you to take action. Choose yourself—it’s not selfish! Invest in yourself because you are important! Your story matters. YOU MATTER! It is important to surround yourself with others who will encourage and inspire you. It is okay to be a mess. It is okay to be vulnerable. Give yourself grace and love yourself through the hard times. It is important to say, “I am worth it” and hire professionals to help you in the hard times.
You too can overcome hard things. You can be inspired by other peoples’ stories of hardship by listening to my podcast, “Growing Into Grace.” If you have a story of
messy, hard, radical forgiveness, or a story that would inspire others, I would love to interview you. Let’s share your story and inspire others to step into their greatness.
Crystal Reilley, founder of Growing Into Grace Coaching and host of ‘Growing into Grace Podcast,’ empowers personal and professional transformation through self-awareness, effective communication, and overcoming challenges, guiding individuals and businesses to unlock their full potential.
Listen to her Podcast “Growing In Grace” and find out more here: https://linktr.ee/ crystalreilley?
Authentic Recovery Soup
KELLIE R. STONE
In modern world vernacular, the foodie title would have thrilled my mom. She couldn’t pass up chances to experience authentic cuisine and introduce that love of superior food to her children. I fondly remember frequenting one exceptional restaurant called Chinese Ruby about three miles from our northside Indianapolis home. Walking in the door enchanted me with its stunning red and gold décor and incredible Asian art. It immediately delivered joy to my curious, young spirit. But, let me get real… the scrumptious, authentic pork-fried rice, won-ton soup, and egg rolls stole my heart...and stomach! To this day, I’ve never found a Chinese restaurant that compares to my beloved Ruby.
I’ve invited you to join me on a trip down my childhood memory lane because I saw it as an important analogy to reveal what I’ve missed during a complex recovery. Chinese Ruby had the perfect ingredients to create a pleasurable, authentic experience. However, this isn’t the norm because so many restaurants skimp on real, quality ingredients. Well, my friends, I was skimping on essential ingredients where my health was concerned.
Finding a Starting Point
I’ve spent much of my adult life fighting the bitter flavors of chronic illness and trauma. Recovery from that reality has presented a thousand tempting paths to explore (ingredients for my recovery soup). Unfortunately, the “get better” recipe I thought would heal it all, left me exhausted and scrambling to grasp life-saving hope, joy, and peace at a soul level. Yes, I got a helluva lot smarter by attending every online seminar I could and reading countless books
with this-is-the-one sparkle. I shake my head at the extensive list of remedies, therapies, medications, supplements, and diets I’ve invested in to recover from multiple ailments. However, I had avoided searching for the pieces my starving spirit and soul wouldn’t find in that flawed plan. It was the recovery equivalent of “Lookin’ for Love” in all the wrong places.
Finding Miracle Perspective
Somehow, I crawled out of that chaotic mosh pit from hell and discovered a miracle perspective that revealed what was missing from my recovery soup. I had dismissed miracles as an ingredient in my life and couldn’t see the biggest one staring back in the mirror—ME. This awareness showed me that, as I create from an authentic place within, I can walk on the miraculous path that has been there all along. The badass woman— I thought I had to be— unwittingly buried that path with limiting beliefs and what she thought warranted recovery. I discovered that seeing and believing in miracles is about acknowledging what is with OK-ness and unchallenged gratitude.
Finding Self-Compassion
I shifted an obsessive mind-numbing focus from doing all those right things to listening to my inner child, who had been screaming and begging for the attention she needed and deserved. In her presence, I found festering wounds and unseen truths that held my deepest recovery captive. Though I still do physical things to be healthy, my recovery soup recipe now includes facing deep wounds, fear, and disabling darkness that I kept locked away for decades.
I’ve learned to be OK with not being OK, embracing moments of sadness, anger, and despair like longlost friends. This is an extremely challenging accomplishment for anyone, let alone for a perfectionist, who instantly wants to fix everything. This default action has been the bane of my existence for longer than I can remember. But I wholeheartedly choose to change what doesn’t work. Author, poet, and teacher, Stephen Levine said, “Healing comes when we meet our wounded places with compassion.”
That deep compassion is the ultimate self-love and care we can give ourselves under any circumstance. It is unconditional, present, and undiluted. In my case, it didn’t come naturally because the pain, illness, and trauma seemed like a force that came to tear me down or make my life miserable. I now believe the contrary... that with understanding and acceptance, adversity becomes our biggest catalyst for healing and self-awareness.
I reinvented my recovery soup dramatically by letting go of what doesn’t work and adding long-overdue
authentic ingredients. I’d love to say that peeling away emotional layers has been a fun, electrifying party, but that would be an inauthentic claim. The truth is that the brutal revealing of deep raw pain showed me why my body got so sick in the first place.
In all transparency, I don’t know what my specific recovery looks like or how long it will take. However, I firmly understand this: it isn’t solely about cheering milestones or having earth-shaking victories. Small wins and moments of soulful clarity shine brighter than anything, revealing the strong, courageous woman I’ve become in illness and adversity.
A writer, editor, artist, poet, mom, and nana, she has lived a complex, fascinating life coaching women and expressing her heart in multiple ways. Kellie is an indie internationally best-selling author, with three women’s self-development titles and one crime thriller under her belt.
Photo by Kellie R. Stone, 5/20/24
War In Ukraine: A View From The Inside
MIKHAIL GERSHTEYN
On February 24, 2022, everything turned upside down for tens of millions of people. Russia attacked Ukraine! A full-scale invasion!
Being born a Ukrainian Jew, married to a Ukrainian woman, and having many Ukrainian friends and family in Ukraine, we were all shocked, angry, upset, and most of all, deeply concerned for the future.
On the first day of the Russian full-scale invasion of Ukraine, I began posting on Facebook and other social networks to ensure that people were informed about the war and did not forget it or think it was over. I realized that to continue telling the story, I needed to see it all with my own eyes. Taking a vacation from work, I flew to Ukraine on November 7, 2022.
Flying from upstate New York over the ocean to Warsaw, then traveling by bus across the border to Ukraine, and by car from Lviv in the west to the Mykolaiv region near the Black Sea, my journey took almost two days!
Throughout my travels, I visited friends in Mykolaiv and Kviv, witnessing how they remodeled their basements into bomb shelters. I lived through at least two major Russian air strikes on Ukraine and witnessed an attempt by the Russians to shell our group of international journalists on the way from just-liberated Kherson, where we met President Volodymyr Zelensky. I visited nearly destroyed cities near Lviv, where most buildings were burned by Russian shelling and apartments were abandoned. The nights were so cold that I slept fully clothed under a couple of covers, thinking about my warm apartment back home in upstate New York. After
a short time, I got used to not having electricity or cellphone reception.
But the most important part of my journey was meeting with people and volunteers who were giving their all to ensure the Ukrainian army and those suffering from the war received the help they needed.
After a month of travels, I left my homeland, Ukraine, and returned to my home in America with a heavy heart and many thoughts. I understand that since the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, many are tired of hearing about the war, forgetting that Ukraine has become a shield not just for Europe but for democracy itself. The war is far from over, and Ukraine still needs any help this brave nation and its people can get. The destruction I witnessed and the stories I heard from people fighting on the front lines or helping from home lingered in my mind as I returned to the comfort of my American home from the war zone my homeland has become.
What is war? What is the purpose of war in the 21st century? Hundreds, even thousands of years ago, wars were thought to advance the world’s economic growth, with death and destruction as byproducts. In the 21st century, wars still bring death and destruction to humanity and our planet.
Ukraine, a country 28 times smaller than the invader, the Russian Empire, is in danger of being totally destroyed. But no matter what, Ukraine will win this war! After all, no one can defeat a free-born nation!
Is there a winner to be claimed in this war? Have there ever been winners in all the wars mankind has
known? Thousands of people are now dead. Thousands are wounded, with injuries that will last for years and even generations.
It may take years to rebuild and heal, but is it at all possible to heal the wounds of this war? Lost lives, destroyed homes, cities, villages, and the care needed for those wounded from mines and missile strikes.
At some point, this unjust war of Russia against Ukraine will be over. Historically, throughout the centuries, the Ukrainian people have always prevailed and survived.
What is next for the world and the rest of mankind?
When will we learn the hardest lesson of all time: every time humans fight, intent on humiliating or conquering what is not theirs, they are not just killing each other; they are destroying the future of this planet and the future of our children.
What is next, not just for us but for the future? Will our children have a future while we continue to kill each other? Will this planet survive the madness of mankind?
Mikhail Gershteyn is a Senior Operations Technician at WXXITV in Rochester, NY. He is an independent, multi award-winning filmmaker. His film about the war in Ukraine was chosen to be viewed at the Toronto Film Festival. Please help Mikhail support the relief efforts in Ukraine as they persist in their fight against Russia and then heal and rebuild in this war’s aftermath.
Mikhail is currently running a GoFundMe to finish his documentary about the plight of the Ukrainian people since the invasion by Russia. If you would like to help get his message out, please visit this link.
To watch a trailer of Mikhail’s documentary, please click here: WAR IN UKRAINE: A VIEW FROM INSIDE_PREVIEW on Vimeo
The majority of individuals strive for better health, a slimmer figure, and increased vitality. However, the reality is that many are facing more health issues, higher rates of obesity, and diminished energy levels. Over the last four decades, the prevalence of chronic illnesses has surged.
So, what solutions exist? Victor Dedaj explores the necessary steps to achieve a healthier, more joyful existence, and how to significantly lower the chances of developing chronic conditions.
PURCHASE
The Woo Woo Way shares the powerful mind-body tool called EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping. This science-based method gives us fast relief from stress and pain. And through stories, lessons, and exercises called homeplay, we learn we can safely go deeper to uncover and heal past wounds.
Using The Woo Woo Way as a reference guide and practicing EFT tapping, we can unblock our chakras, harness our empowerment and manifestation energies, and transform our lives.
PURCHASE
Frank J. Bonsignore is Uncle Frank—your kind, understanding, wise uncle who wants to help you discover, prepare for, and thrive at your job. He shares the more-than-a-few mistakes he’s made in his career to help you avoid bumps in the road. With a successful industrial career of over twenty-five years, several more as a community college adjunct instructor, and a direct but gentle approach, Uncle Frank offers his advice to help you compile the personal and professional qualities essential to enter–or reenter–the workplace.
PURCHASE
Spiritual Arousal is an educational adventure. It ignites curiosity, sparks intuition, and fosters harmony. Grace, intimacy, and appreciation may awaken in the stillness of your heart as you read.
Confidence grows as you allow the verses to help you feel safe exploring ideas of unity, inclusion, and community. Poetry can help you relate and feel, giving you the experience of energy while arousing your imagination. Relax and allow these words to become part of who you are. Be ready for some “ah ha” moments.
This is no ordinary journal. It’s a motivational coach, planner and travel guide---all in one! Part one includes reflections and affirmations that coach you to explore yourself and the world simultaneously. Probing questions and inspiring exercises help you take a deeper dive into your inner experience while you visit the sites and scenery around you! Part two has a 21-day journal that aids you in planning and memorializing your trip. While you are away, you will not only keep a record of your daily activities, but you will return home with a collection of stories and memories that shows how you transformed during your sojourn.
PURCHASE
Justice Joseph D. Valentino spent over 30 years on the Bench in New York State. Over the course of his career, the Judge has been charged with showing humanity in the courtroom. An esteemed judge as well as a well-respected husband, father, coach, professor, band member, and friend, Joseph Valentino never met anyone that he did not value as a human being. Judge Valentino’s career exemplified what fair, dignified, and compassionate justice looks like.
You are the jury in this trial. If you think the Judge displayed humanity in his courtroom, please leave an Amazon review rendering your verdict.
