What is your Kilimanjaro?

PEARLETTE J. RAMOS

In his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neuroscientist who appeared in the movie The Secret, talks about his research on the brain and body, the mind, consciousness and the quantum field. His work posits one central idea: We can achieve our potential as well as optimum health through the power of our minds. This is exciting because many of us think of ourselves and the things that happen to us in a limited or fixed way. How many times have you said or heard someone else say:

“This is just how I am.”

“I am not good at ___________.” “I’m too____________ and I struggle with ________.”

These three statements are examples of how we commonly use self-limiting language to describe who we are and what we believe is possible for ourselves. Perception is our way of taking in the world—and it is limited by our senses and shaped by our biases. Mindset is a set of beliefs, assumptions, or notions we hold which orients the way we respond to life situations. The language we use to describe who we are works together with our emotions to form the impetus for our mindset which then drives our behaviors. When we repeat the thought-emotion-action cycle over and over again it becomes a patterned way we each engage with the world. Over time, we come to identify this patterned way of being as the “self.”

Sometimes our patterns work well for us; other times they do not. It is easy to become stymied in life. We do this when we allow limited perceptions or a fixed mindset about who we are inhibit us from achieving our goals, dreams and aspirations. The good news is we can reframe self-limiting talk and negative self-concepts by rewiring and evolving our brains.

Dr. Dispenza often uses a saying: “Nerve cells that fire together, wire together.” I love this phrase because it reminds me habitual patterns are simply chemical reactions in the brain that can be transformed. We are not destined by the limitations that we or others may impose upon us. Rather, we each have the capacity to stretch, grow and transform negative thoughts and behaviors into self-empowering regenerative ones.

If we accept the idea that habitual thoughts are addictions to chemical patterns of thinking that are “wired” together, concepts related to neuroplasticity offers each of us the ability to “unwire” from self-defeating patterns. “Neuroplasticity,” relates to the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. Our brains can even compensate for injury and disease—allowing us to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in the environment.

Thinking of ourselves from a biological perspective is beneficial because it affords each of us the opportunity to change our choices by changing the way we think. You can start by:

• Turning your attention inward by becoming mindful of your thoughts

• Acknowledging how you make meaning of your experiences

• Paying particular attention to critical or self-limiting thoughts

• Consciously committing to reframe and rewire negative inner talk

I recently produced a documentary called Three (Extra)Ordinary Women which tells the story of three unrelated women of color who experienced childhood trauma. Each woman went on to find the wisdom in their experiences which they’ve used to become leaders and advocates in the world. The women tell their stories as they climb Mt. Kilimanjaro--reflecting on the question: “What is my personal Kilimanjaro?”

Viewers are invited into their inner dialogue and the mindset they each used to overcome significant life challenges. The film is as much about being born and raised in oppressive environments as it is about claiming your personal voice and agency despite the limitations that others may try to impose on you. Storytelling and the power of personal narrative are used to demonstrate how each woman found solace and healing by focusing on their capacity to create and regenerate even during difficult situations.

The next time you are asked, “Who are you?” or “What do you do?” respond by sharing a perspective that presents your strengths and abilities. Share something you learned during your life that helped you become the person you are today. Provide insight on how you shifted a self-limiting idea into an opportunity for deeper understanding. In other words, use your own neuroplasticity to form new neural connections and transform the stories you tell about yourself.

Pearlette J. Ramos, Ph.D., J.D. is a civil rights lawyer, social justice advocate, entrepreneur and filmmaker. She facilitates empowerment workshops, provides resilience coaching and consulting, and leads travel adventures around the world.

To learn more about Pearlette and her film, please visit https://threeextraordinarywomen.com/