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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 ISSUE 173. JANUARY 8 - 14, 2014
Concert listings from many places
10 CLUB & PUBS
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BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
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TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 15 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review ALBUM REVIEW 16 Done by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant COLONY MEADERY 19 THE By: Elle Spaulding takes a look at this awesome process right here in Allentown ON WHEELS 25 AMERICA By: Camille Capriglione gives us the low-down on this cool museum in Allentown 26 ZODIAC Your astrology for the week
12 HOT SHOTS 39 MODEL BEAT 39
36 JOKES & COMICS A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY: PEOPLE WITH TOO MUCH MONEY
CONTINUING CRISIS
During the 2012 presidential campaign, Mitt Romney caught criticism for his proposed California home with parking on an upper floor, requiring a car elevator. Much more elaborate elevator access will be available in the new Porsche Design Tower near Miami (opening in 2016 and already 80 percent sold out, according to a December report by Slate.com). The 132 oceanside units (in square footage from 4,300 to 17,000 and in price from $5.3 million to $32.5 million) include glass-walled, elevator-accessed spaces for two or four cars (for people who would rather admire their Bugattis and Maseratis than the Atlantic Ocean).
--When a pickpocket shared a taxi ride with him recently in China’s Hunan province and somehow managed to lift Zou Bin’s iPhone, Zou was frightened that he had lost all of his beverage-industry business contacts and began text-messaging desperate pleas to the thief. Several days later, in the postal mail, Zou received a list of his contacts, apparently carefully copied from the phone, totaling 11 handwritten pages of names and numbers, and as the story broke on Chinese social media, the earnest thief was referred to as “the conscience of the (robbery) industry,” and compared to a member of the People’s Liberation Army as the model conscientious citizen that the Chinese should
CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE -- Equality Under Law: (1) In December, Fort Worth, Texas, judge Jean Boyd sentenced teenager Ethan Couch to probation with no jail time for drunkenly killing four people in a car crash -- apparently accepting Couch’s “defense” that his affluent, permissive childhood had taught him irresponsibility. (WFAA-TV turned up a 2012 case in which Judge Boyd sentenced a 14-yearold black kid to prison for punching another boy who then fell, bumped his head and died.) (2) New York City prostitute murderer Rasheen Everett got a 29-year sentence in December, despite his lawyer’s “defense” that the victim was merely a transgendered prostitute. (“Shouldn’t (29-year sentences) be reserved for people who are guilty of killing certain (higher) classes of individuals?”) -- Tension over digital security is such that an alarming disclosure made in 2004 (and largely ignored) can resurface on a website in 2013 and appear even more astonishing. At the height of the Cold War in the 1960s (and largely because of Pentagon-White House contentiousness), “safeguards” were installed to prevent rogue generals from launching nuclear war on their own. What today would be a “PIN” number was assigned to each missile, but Strategic Air Command generals mocked the PINs by setting each one to “00000000” -- a code that today would be ridiculed as naive. (Furthermore, “00000000” was then written out on each missile’s instructions, according to the former launch control officer who disclosed it in 2004.)
INEXPLICABLE --One Rule Fits All: Jim Howe, father of two children at South Cumberland Elementary School in Crossville, Tenn., was handcuffed and briefly detained by a sheriff’s deputy in November after mistakenly believing that he could walk his kids home when class let out at 2 p.m. Actually, the school allows 2 p.m. departure only for kids being picked up in cars; pupils who leave on foot must wait until 2:35. (Howe assumed that the waiting period was only to protect young pedestrians from pick-up traffic.) Deputy Avery Aytes said a rule is a rule and that if Howe failed to cooperate, he would be jailed.
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT -- Police finally arrested William Footman, 55, in October as the person who somehow managed to swipe inside-front-door mats from at least 37 New York City banks between March and May 2013. No money was ever taken, and some banks were slow to realize the thefts -- unobservant that they had even had front-door mats in the first place. “I sell them to bodegas,” Footman said. “Their floors get wet.” -- Rodney Rotert of Tulsa, Okla., filed a lawsuit recently against Philadelphia Insurance Companies demanding the return of “his” classic 1967 Chevrolet Camaro, supposedly worth about $100,000. His case is complicated by the fact that he also recently pleaded no contest to possessing stolen property, i.e., that very same car, stolen from an Arkansas dealer in 2007. (Rotert claims he bought the car legitimately, but he also changed the Vehicle Identification Number to obtain a false title.) Rotert said his legal claim, especially with the “current” VIN, is superior to the insurance company’s claim.
PERSPECTIVE While many educators lament the mediocrity of American universities in encouraging study of science and engineering, U.S. colleges are surely among world leaders in one area: sensitivity to students questioning their gender. In the current school year, Bellevue (Wash.) College and Mills College (Oakland, Calif.) have offered students unprecedented choices of self-identification. “Male/female” is no longer useful at Bellevue, which offers “feminine, masculine, androgynous, gender neutral, transgender and other.” At Mills, students identify themselves as “agender, bigender, third-gender or gender-fluid,” and select the pronoun they wish to be referred to with (he or she or ze or sie or ve, or the agrammatical “they”).
NEWS THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE -- Iowa lawyer Robert Allan Wright Jr. was suspended for a year by the Attorney Disciplinary Board in December for mishandling client funds. One client had received a “Nigerian inheritance” letter in 2011, and Wright apparently jumped at the opportunity to receive “$18 million,” seemingly unaware of what almost everyone else in the developed world knows about unsolicited Nigerian business deals. By December 2013, Wright had looted accounts of other clients in order to pay the “fees” necessary to free up the $18 million. He was spared a more onerous punishment only because the board concluded that Wright “honestly ... continues to believe” that the inheritance is real -- that “one day a trunk full of ... one hundred dollar bills is going to appear upon his office doorstep.”
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2014 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
CONCERT BEAT CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
TICKETS 212-307-7171
Against Me, Jan 11 Rusted Root, Jan 12 The Felice Brothers, Jan 15 Michael Schenker, Jan 26
TICKETS 610-434-4600
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249 Dancing Machine, Jan 11 Hard Travelin, Jan 17 Dead On Live Grateful Dead Trib, Jan 18
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
Charlie Daniels Band / Bret Michaels, May 30
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791 The B Street Band, Jan 10 Gilbert Gotfried, Jan 18 Dream Girls Centerfold Revue, Jan 31
Lady Antebellum, Jan 30 Kings of Leon, Feb 19
MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA Page 8
TICKETS 570-420-2808 Over The Years, Jan 10 Time Will Tell, Jan 18 Rusted Root, Jan 19
FM KIRBY CENTER, Wilkes Barre, PA
Stone Sour / Pop Evil Jan 18 Reverend Horton Heat, Jan 24 Amon Amarth, Feb 4 The Pretty Reckless, Feb 12 The BlackBerry Smoke, Feb 15
MAIN GATE, Allentown PA TICKETS 610-898-7200
Lewis Black, Apr 4 Franki Avalon, Fabian, Bobby Rydell, May 15 Reba McEntire, May 18
TICKETS 570-826-1100
Jim Belushi, Mar 13 • Kathy Griffin, Apr 17
SANTANDER ARENA, Reading, PA TICKETS 610-898-7469 Hair, Jan 31 Stomp, Feb 24 Skillet & Third Day, Mar 22
Yellow Card, Feb 4 • The Pretty Reckless, Feb 13
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA
TICKETS (215) 922-5483
TICKETS (215) 627-1332 MGMT, Jan 3 Pixies, Jan 24 Dr. Dog, Jan 31 - Feb 1 Falling In Reverse, Feb 2 Panic at the Disco, Feb 5
Voletta, Jan 4 Alustrium, Jan 5 The Precious Few, Jan 10 David Koechner, Jan 11 Rupal’s Drag Race, Jan 16 In this Moment, Jan 17 Brotherly Breakdown Fest, Jan 18 Mantis Music Showcase, Jan 31 BuckCherry, Feb 21 http://unionmusic.com/events/craigthatcher002.jpg
1409 N. 9th St
TICKETS 215-336-3600
Leon Russell, Jan 3 Craig Thatcher Band, Jan 4 Stanley Clarke, Jan 10
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
TICKETS 877-686-5366
REVERB - Reading, PA
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA
TICKETS 610-332-1300
TICKETS 800-745-3000
TICKETS 212-777-6800
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ Demi Lovato, Mar 1 Robin Thicke, Mar 6
Sandlot Heros, Jan 31 For Today, Feb 15 Battle For AllStars, Feb 16
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA Joy Behar, Jan 10 Pink Floyd Dark Side, Jan 11 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Feb 7 3 Doors Down (Acoustic), Feb 12 Lisa Lampanelli, Feb 15 NBC’s Sing Off, Feb 27 Huey Lewis & The News Mar 21 Billy Currington, Mar 27 Robert Cray & Mavis Staples, Mar 28 Jim Gaffigan & The White Bread Tour, Mar 29
Billy Joel, Jan 27- Sep 17 • Keith Urban, Jan 29
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA
Nitro Circus Live, Jan 9 Jay Z, Jan 29
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
(610) 743-3069 Abigal Williams, Jan 18 Bonz, Jan 23 Appetite for Destruction, Jan 24 Chimaira, Feb 6 Tonic, Vertical Horizon, Dishwalla, Mar 4
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA Blair Academy Concert, Jan 12 Jessie Joyce, Jan 16 Boogie Wonder Band, Jan 17 The Aardvarks, Jan 18
TICKETS 215-572-7650 Leon Russell & Hot Tuna, Jan 10 Elvis Birthday Bash, Jan 24 Transatlantic, Feb 8 Jim Jefferies, Feb 21
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0371 Greensky, Jan 31 Galactic, Feb 9 Rebelution, Feb 12 Black Amish Comedy Feb 21
Phil Vassar, Jan 11 KIX, Jan 31 Fran Cosmo, February 1 Changes in Latitudes, Feb 8
CHECK OUT CLASSIC ALBUMS LIVE SATURDAY AT THE SANDS BETHLEHEM EVENT CENTER
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
THIS SUNDAY
CHAMELEON CLUB WWW.CHAMELEONCLUB.NET 223 NORTH WATER STREET, LANCASTER, PA
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MAINGATE NIGHTCLUB 448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA
(610) 776-7711 ALL AGES /21 TO DRINK
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Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Charge-by-phone 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8,2014
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524 Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100
BATH
Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 1/10 Glue Factory 1/11 Hoozya Daddy
Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 2/2 Big Game Party
Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130
Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama
Wave Night Club 22 N. 6th St 610-821-9283 Resident DJ Xtina Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke
Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Live Entertainment Tim Harakal / Billy Patrick / Strange Coincidence & More 1/18 DJ Old Skooler Bad Grandpa Party
Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. Allentown, Pa 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Mike Mitman
BETHLEHEM
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 1/8 Public Display 1/9 Serene Greene 1/10 Strange Coincidence 1/11 Civillian 1/12 Zack Martin 1/13 Jon Fadem 1/14 Asa and Em Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Trivia Friday DJ June Saturday DJ Cisco Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Karaoke Bethlehem Brew Works 569 Main St 610-882-1300 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center 77 Sands Boulevard 610-297-7410 1/10 DJ Reese 1/11 DJ Freezie Lou’s 50 Yard Line 2626 Easton Ave 610-882-9190 Thursdays: Open Mic Tuesday’s - Trivia Saturday’-Karoke w/ Jason 2/2 Big Game Giveaway!
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 1/8 Our Last Night After w/ DJ Tom Taylor 1/9 Total Whiteout 1/10 Drop Dead Sexy 1/11 JJ Rupp w/ DJ Tom Taylor 1/12 Jimmy & The Parrots 1/13 Lou Franco Project 1/14 The Idol Kings Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Zee 1/24 Snowball Gala Whiteout
Our Last Night After 1/8 Molten Lounge Bethlehem, PA
DJ Freezie 1/11 Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 1/10 Frank Dibussolo Group 1/11 The Youngers 1/14 January Bluegrass The Broadway Social 217 Broadway 610-868-2555
Rehab X 1/11 Pocono Pub Bartonsville, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
EMMAUS
Volpe’s Sports Bar 501 Main St 610-965-0311 1/10 Jordan White 1/11 DJ Ivo
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke Fri - DJ Baby B 1/8 Kyle Baker 1/11 Rehab X
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Sun: 9-Ball Pool League Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 1/10 Project Z Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 1/8 Traditional Irish Jam 1/9 Chris Cummings Standards Trio 1/10 The Roux 1/11 Scott Harrington & Friends
Project Z feat. DJ Zee 1/10 Drinky’s Easton, PA
MORE ON PAGE 26
Strange Brew Tavern 1996 S. Fifth St 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night 1/10 Trouble City 1/11 Strange Coincidence
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The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
Chillin’ and Jammin’ at Grumpy’s melodic musicianship on this tune. The cheery vibe at Grumpy’s was enhanced by the beautiful tones and chords played on both guitars by this dynamic duo. Williams played the drums superbly with great dynamics of his own. I could’ve listened to this one all night. Next, Rauscher sang the Bowie classic, “Ziggy Stardust” and Kaligis followed that with his best Bob Dylan nasal twang vocal on “Tangled Up in Blue.” Some of the guitar work had a distinct Jerry Garcia sound to it which was fine by me. The Dylan music was followed by them playing music from the fruit of Bob Dylan’s loins as they rocked out to “One Headlight” from Jakob Dylan’s band, The Wallflowers. Jake Kaligis played touch guitar as Rauscher belted out the PANTONE 485 CVU PANTONE Process Yellow CVU PANTONE Reflex Blue C PANTONE 1395 CVC
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last eleven years! Tune in weeknights for Classic Rock of the 70’s, 80’s and more! Listen Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please email him at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
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Last Friday’s frigid and snowy weather failed to deter a horde of thirsty and hungry music lovers looking to beat cabin fever as local rockers, Jake Kaligis and The New Constitution, brought warm post-holiday cheer and musical goodness to Grumpy’s Bar-B-Que Roadhouse in Allentown. The horde savored Grumpy’s warm BBQ with hot sauce, cold beer and plenty of lively music on the frostiest Friday night in the Lehigh Valley in quite some time. Jake Kaligis and The New Constitution features Kaligis on guitar and vocals, Mike Rauscher on guitar and vocals, Brenden Hackett on bass and Scott Williams on drums. The fact that the temperature outside was in the single digits wasn’t lost on Kaligis and his band, who had played outdoors in downtown Allentown a few days earlier on New Year’s Eve for the city’s official ringing in of the new year. “This is our first indoor gig of the year”, Kaligis said. And with that, the band started off the festivities with a Grateful Dead-like “For What It’s Worth.” Buffalo Springfield with Grumpy’s Buffalo wings was a nice menu pairing as this opener served as a sound check groove jam with Rauscher working the wah-wah pedal and playing free-style lead guitar. Lennon-McCartney harmony by Kaligis and Rauscher for The Beatles’ “Drive My Car” was spot on. Then lo and behold, they performed The Dead’s “Fire on the Mountain” with smooth as silk guitar work between them as they alternated rhythm and lead. They even worked a little reggae into this Grateful Dead classic. The Stealers Wheel classic, “Stuck in the Middle with You”, allowed for a little improv between band members and drummer, Scott Williams, laid down some nice fills while bassist, Brenden Hackett, plucked his Fender jazz bass with the greatest of ease. It was a very solid effort for the rhythm section on this one. Their interpretation of Nick Drake’s “One of These Things First” had the packed house at Grumpy’s riveted to the stage. Kaligis and Rauscher drew in their audience with wonderfully
lyrics. They segued from that song right into Crosby, Stills & Nash’s “Southern Cross” with Kaligis and Rauscher doing a nice job on the harmony. The first set wrapped with what else? The Grateful Dead, of course! “Franklin’s Tower” morphed into a Dead jam with both guitars in perfect tune, once again, alternating between lead and rhythm culminating in the big BAM-BAM-BAM finish by Scott Williams on drums. The second set started with an amazing cover of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.” I loved how they recreated the twangy guitar sounds from the Cash original. The Rolling Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” and The Beatles’ “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” gave us a taste of the British Invasion. Talking Heads’ “Life During Wartime” was a fun, up tempo rocker. Rauscher sang and played rhythm while Kaligis handled lead guitar. Williams was fun to watch on this one with cymbal crashes at all the right moments. They slowed down the pace with Jimi Hendrix’s “Little Wing”. Brenden Hackett’s bass was just incredible from the gig’s outset but really smooth on this tune and Scott Williams was grooving in the pocket with a big smile upon his face. A short third set featured The Beatles’“A Day in the Life” and Led Zeppelin’s “Ramble On” where Williams played side stick on the drums. The band was apparently finished and began to break down when the crowd at Grumpy’s asked for more and Kaligis and The New Constitution obliged with an encore that featured Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone.” More reggae was tossed in with a little Middle Eastern or Indian texture included. It was all good. Jake Kaligis and The New Constitution have recurring monthly gigs at Grumpy’s every first Friday of the month. These guys are playing some great music and putting their own personality into it. They sound great inside the rustic roadhouse on Mauch Chunk Road and you should come out to see them when you have the chance and grab some BBQ grub while you’re at it!
THE THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT BEAT JANUARY OCTOBER8,9,2014 2013
by: Mitch
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
BATTLE BORN
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN & THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL, VOL 2
DEAL WITH THE DEVIL POP EVIL ONYX
TIRED
STONE SOUR
PLOT: Two teens- Jesse (Andrew Jacobs) and Arturo (Richard Cabral)- are playing with their new video camera when one of their neighbors is apparently murdered by one of their classmates. When they investigate the death, they stumble upon a plot involving black magic as Jesse begins to show signs of an otherworldly possession. REVIEW: Over the years I’ve made no secret of my dislike of the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY series. The first one was an interesting micro-budget experiment, and the third was fun by virtue of being set in the eighties. Overall though it’s a series I’ve never been keen on and I find its continued success at the box office mystifying.
HOUSE OF GOLD AND BONES PT. 1
SHEPHERD OF FIRE
AVENGED SEVENFOLD HAIL TO THE KING
SIRENS
PEARL JAM
LIGHTNING BOLT
ADRENALINE
SHINEDOWN AMARYLLIS
BY AND DOWN
A PERFECT CIRCLE
360
LOLA MONTEZ
VOLBEAT
OUTLAW GENTLEMEN AND SHADY LADIES
NEVER NEVER KORN
THE PARADIGM SHIFT
WHAT IF I WAS NOTHING ALL THAT REMAINS
A WAR WHICH YOU CANNOT WIN
Imagine my surprise upon discovering that PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES is actually a surprisingly decent little horror flick as far as this series goes. A so-called “side-quel” targeted at the Latino market (hence the reason it’s not called PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 5, which is in production) THE MARKED ONES benefits enormously from the fact that writer-director Christopher B. Landon has been allowed to branch the story out a bit by focusing on characters only loosely related to the family featured in the rest of the franchise. Of all the actors in the series so far, star Andrew Jacobs is the most charismatic and makes for an appealing lead (who could potentially break out beyond the series). The character is surprisingly three-dimensional in that he’s a young guy trying to live a straight and narrow life while living in the midst of gang-activity. He’s a likable kid, and a lot of time is spent following him and his buddy Arturo around as they dote on his grandma (sharing a couple of shots of Tequila with her in a funny scene) and try to pick up girls in his neighborhood while dodging gang-members that don’t like them carrying around a camera. (intentional) laughs out of the first half than you’d expect in a found-footage horror flick. While most of the films rely on people hearing bumps and moans in the night and asking “what’s that?” while reviewing tapes, this one steers clear of those recycled scares. Once Jesse’s possession kicks in, the movie almost turns into a kind of horror movie version of CHRONICLE as he starts to enjoy the “perks” of possession including super-strength and what seems like a guardian angel on his shoulder. Obviously things take a dark turn, but I was surprised as just how dark. Despite their r-ratings, the series has always been pretty tame, but THE MARKED ONES feels like a much harsher movie with bigger scares as it movies into its final act. There’s nothing here that’s particularly inspired or even really scary, but it still has some energy that felt lacking from the other films. Of the series, THE MARKED ONES feels like the closest to being an actual film, rather than another of the rush-job sequels. If you’re a fan of the series, then THE MARKED ONES is obviously a no-brainer as it’s a nice rebound from the absolutely atrocious fourth entry. If you’re like me, and you were never sold on the series, you might actually like this one thanks to the above-average cast for a found-footage film and some nifty set-pieces courtesy of new director Landon. The found-footage gimmick is still tired and in need of a hiatus, but as far as these movies go THE MARKED ONES isn’t bad at all. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that it’s surprisingly decent.
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10
By Chris Bumbray
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014 Page 16
By: Scotty Scotty Brilliant Brilliant By:
in “17 Crimes,” with this one taking me back to the old days of AFI. The lyrics in “Rewind” are what pulled me in, with Havok singing the chorus, “Though there’s no way I will materialize / though there’s no way I will materialize / remind you / there’s no way to apologize / your selfish words must float denied by your crime / I float now / we rewind.” Quite possibly one of Puget’s best riffs can be found on “Greater Than 84,” a song not to be skipped. Burials ends just as it began with the ominous “The Face Beneath the Waves.” In the fashion of Joy Division, Havok’s crooning voice tells the tale of someone who returns to a loved one after metaphorically being “put to death,” a triumphant way to end a spectacular album. Crank It I Hope You Suffer
A Deep Slow Panic 17 Crimes Wild Greater Than 84 Skip It No Resurrection The Conductor AFI has been always been a staple in my punk rock record collection, and after hearing this album they will continue to be. While I was a fan of their face-paced hardcore punk past, I welcomed their new, mature sound with open ears. They have a unique style that progresses with every release. This album is definitely worth buying, or downloading (legally, of course), and if you ever get the chance, check out these guys live; I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed. Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
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In last week’s review, I gave my picks for my favorite albums of 2013. Though I thought my picks were fairly solid, they only represent a fraction of last year’s releases. One of those releases that I had intended to review, but never did, was the new one from AFI, Burials. Now that we are in the first full week of January, the music industry is still apparently recovering from the holidays and hasn’t released anything significant yet in the rock department. Next week we will see a major release from Bruce Springsteen and also a new one from alt-rock vets, Switchfoot. So I am actually glad that this was a slow week, because it finally gave me the chance to sit down and take a listen to the latest effort from the goth-punk icons that I grew up listening to. AFI began their career in Ukiah, California in 1991 and have had the same line-up since 1998: Davey Havok on vocals, drummer and back-up vocalist Adam Carson, bassist Hunter Burgen, and guitarist Jade Puget. During AFI’s over 20 years as a band, they have released nine studio albums, 10 EPs, one live album and one DVD. It wasn’t until the band’s fifth album, The Art of Drowning, that the band saw some commercial success. This was also the album that signified the change in sound for the band. They began to divert from their fast hardcore punk sound to more melodic, alternative rock songs. This was also the album where Havok’s authentic high-pitched vocals changed, and he began to explore his dynamic range a little more. One of my favorite songs of all time came from this album, “The Days of the Phoenix,” which is about the band’s time performing at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma, California. The Art of Drowning catapulted them into the mainstream and gained them the recognition that they deserved. Since then, they have gone on to release four more studio albums including Burials, which was released back in October. Burials intros with the eerie and foreboding “The Sinking Night,” which sounds like it could be included in the soundtrack to The Lost Boys. Even though the album starts off dark and dreary, it doesn’t mean the rest of it will follow suit. “I Hope You Suffer” really shows off how the band has matured and also showcases Havok’s deeper, more aggressive vocal style. The upbeat “A Deep Slow Panic,” which is reminiscent of The Smiths, is my favorite track from the record. Despite its poppy upbeat sound, the song’s meaning is dark and depressing, told through eyes of someone who is hurting from a love lost and slowly letting panic set in. Havok’s voice is really highlighted
THE VALLEY BEAT NOVEMBER 6, 2013
ALBUM ALBUM REVIEW REVIEW
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT BEAT JANUARY NOVEMBER THE 8, 13, 20142013
By Elle Spaulding
PAGE PAGE21 19
Sunday morning. Bleak, grey and rainy, my mind flashes to a sunnier day and the musky sweet smell of roast mutton. I shake it off and get dressed. One leg through my pants, it comes back, the lilting sound of a flute. Almost at my car, the temperature outside is cold. My breath is smoke on the air, but I can almost taste it, cloying and syrupy, the memory of a goblet of mead at a summer Renaissance Faire. I shiver, unsure if it’s from the cold or from some aching memory in my teeth. Mead of course is the fermented byproduct of honey water and yeast. The original Dionysian beverage. A drink about which the famous food writer Maguelonne Toussaint-Samat wrote “ancestor of all fermented drinks”. Mead has fallen out of favor over the centuries, but in recent years has been making a comeback with articles appearing in the New York Times, Forbes and a profile on CBS. Pennsylvania has been no exception to the growing interest in mead with the Lehigh Valley about to welcome its own meadery. The Colony Meadery in Allentown is run by two guys, Greg and Mike, who started the business a few months ago. Mike is a straightforward brew master. Lines etched into his face and a power drill in his hand. Watching him work among his many-gallon tanks and fermenters, that were insulated with that silver stuff that one sees natural disaster survivors clutching on the news, I knew that I was far away from the Renaissance Faire. Greg on the other hand is an entirely different personality, younger, dynamic and personable. At one point he told me about a tomato mead experiment, which sounded at least ambitious if not awful and yet I could tell whose idea that was. But back to what I was really there for, which was the mead. At one point while talking with Greg, I noticed Mike pour a massive bucket of honey into one of the fermenters. “30 gallons per batch,” I was later told, as I recalled that ache in my teeth. To make it obvious, I’m not personally too fond of things that are very sweet, which can make it seem like I wouldn’t be into a product made from fermented honey. Furthermore mead is often flavored with other fruits, vanilla and cinnamon, the elements of desserts, but my fears were soon allayed as I was led through a tasting. At the moment, The Colony has about eight established recipes (and a few extra experimental batches, no word yet on whether or not that tomato mead was successful). There’s Straight No Chaser, which is traditional mead with three ingredients water honey and yeast. Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl, which is also a traditional mead, but made with a varietal Tupelo honey. The Earl, is a blend of traditional honey mead with earl grey tea and other herbs. Pikwant Fields and Frozen Digits are two sweeter fruiter meads that are flavored with strawberries and kiwi in the former and blueberries in the latter. And my two favorites, Woofiedog and Towbeedog, both of which are flavored with hops. Towbeedog in particular was labeled as an India Pale Mead was dry and slightly sharp, but had a nice, lingering, warm aftertaste that is quite different from beer. All of the meads run between between 10% - 18% alcohol per volume and none of them were too sweet. Even the Pikwant Fields, tasted like the tangier flavors of strawberry than like syrup in a glass. Before I left, I asked Greg how he knew if a certain mead was done well since it was just Mike and him. He replied that they have a lot of help. Hijinx Brewing Company was in the process of moving in next-door and just as I was about to down my last drop of Towbeedog, their entire team walked in unexpectedly to hang out and to try the mead. So if you’re in the mood to try something refreshingly new, then look up The Colony Meadery in Allentown, or The Colony’s mead is also currently on tap at Strange Brew.
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
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6. Thanks For Sharing (Jan 7th) 7. We Are What We Are (Jan 7th) 8. Badges Of Fury (Jan 7th) 9. Big Ass Spider! (Jan 7th) 10. Duck Dynast: Season 4 (Jan 7)
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6. Anchorman 2 1. Frozen 2. Paranormal Activity Marked 7. Saving Mr. Banks 3. Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug 8. Secret Life of Walter Mitty 4. The Wolf Of Wall Street 9. Hunger Games: Catching Fire 5. American Hustle 10. Grudge Match
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
A Museum of Over the Road Transportation
THE 2014 THE VALLEY VALLEYBEAT BEAT JANUARY JULY 31, 8, 2013
America on Wheels
By Camille Capriglione
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Now that the chill has set in (Brrrrrrrrr!) and a long Pennsylvania winter stretches before us, it’s time to find interesting activities to avert cabin fever! Luckily, there are plenty of things to do in the Lehigh Valley and we’ll highlight them over the next several weeks. America On Wheels is a unique museum in Allentown that offers a glimpse of the past, present and future of our nation’s over-the-road transportation. The museum strives to preserve history by looking back in time, collecting valuable automotive artifacts, and offering new ways of looking at transportation technology. America on Wheels is an important cultural resource, which showcases a period of history - the late 1880’s to present - in which vehicles made a significant impact on society. The 43,000 square foot facility has a central concourse and several elaborate galleries. Visitors can sit in the driver’s seat of a mini Indy Racecar or view antique Mack trucks. Current exhibits include “Brilliant Brass Beauties,” styles influenced by America’s preoccupation with space exploration and desire for long, sleek automobiles with lots of chrome. Another exhibit is a private collection of pedal cars from the early 1900’s. These toys were replicas of automobiles, created for the children of wealthy families. They include a 1927 Packard Roadster and 1937 Steelcraft Plymouth. The museum has educational offerings, which include “Behind the Ropes and Under the Hood” and “Different Engines with Many Fuels.” There are plenty of family-friendly programs, as well as exciting events for car buffs of all ages, like the annual road jamboree and flea market. The museum’s Restoration Learning Center gives people an opportunity to see how classic cars are restored. Visitors, and students of all ages, have the chance to touch, feel, see and experience the restoration process with real life samples. Video descriptions of various processes show engine and chassis repair, upholstery, chrome and paint. Patrons can visit the museum’s Hubcap Café for snacks and refreshments. There is a large gift shop, a classroom and library, a curatorial prep area, as well as a special event room available for meetings, receptions and private parties. America on Wheels was a Certificate of Excellence Winner by TripAdvisor in 2013. The museum is located at 5 N. Front St., Allentown, PA. For more info, visit www. americaonwheels. org.
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19)
Go slowly on Monday -- no new projects, no big moves. On Tuesday and Wednesday, however, it’s all systems go. Be a power player at work, socialize like a maniac or make something happen in the love department. Then it’s all about the almighty cash (or lack of it) around Thursday and Friday. Think about the intersection between financials and values, and where you are with it. Things are moving fast this weekend, but you’re more than capable of keeping up. Just don’t get ahead of yourself with your words (spoken, emailed, text-messaged or otherwise).
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20)
A far-fetched idea definitely has components you can use on Monday, so don’t dismiss it outright. Around Tuesday and Wednesday, go at your own pace, even (or especially) if somebody’s trying to hurry you along. Where’s the fire, anyway? On that note, things look rather hot for you on Thursday and Friday. That practicality of yours is coupled with extra charm, energy and sexiness -- get out and strut your stuff. This weekend, however, your practicality may go missing. Avoid making any big decisions -- you’re liable to let an impulse get the best of you.
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21)
What you do on Monday makes a big impression, for better or worse -- consider how you want people to think of you. A friend or a mentor may chime in about this on Tuesday or Wednesday. Let them -- it’s always good to get a fair and balanced opinion of how you’re being perceived. (Ask for the truth, served with empathy, please!) Life demands your concentration around Thursday and Friday; you’ll get the most out of it by paying extra attention and asking lots of questions. This weekend, though, you can be a social butterfly or just flit from one great idea to the next.
CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) What (or who) you know isn’t nearly as interesting as the unknown quantities on Monday. On Tuesday and Wednesday, take care when interacting with your boss, a bossy friend, your mom, the police ... you get the picture. Take a deep breath and choose those words carefully. (They probably don’t mean it personally.) People love to hear your stories, and Thursday and Friday they just want to be around you. Leaving them wanting more (and getting some alone time) is never a bad idea. This weekend, you might just be in the mood to make a splash. Leave that shell behind!
LEO (7/23 - 8/22)
On Monday, separate the talk from the action, the chaff from the wheat, the gold from the merely gold-toned. You want what’s real, right? On Tuesday and Wednesday, though, taking a little risk isn’t such a bad idea. You can have fun with practically anything now, so even a less-than-optimal outcome can be amusing. Let what you do speak for itself around Thursday and Friday; the right person gets it, and you’ll be rewarded (if not now, then at some point). It’s party time this weekend, although you might just find yourself discussing books or politics amid all the hubbub. (Remember: Smart is hot!)
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VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22)
Be ready to agree to disagree on Monday, and do give the other person’s opinion some honest consideration. On Tuesday and Wednesday, double-check your receipts, count your change and rerun any numbers. You might just catch a mistake that would’ve cost you. Branching out is favored around Thursday and Friday. Try a different cuisine, challenge your mind with a great book or hang out with a new person, and feel that mind expand. Take care when communicating this weekend. Remember the value of showing as well as telling, and of asking questions while you’re at it.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22)
Even if you have your priorities all set on Monday, you might not get to the most important things -- c’est la vie. Then, on Tuesday and Wednesday, you make the most progress when you balance your aims with those of a pertinent party (like your boss, a partner or a relative). Building the relationship is probably more important than getting exactly what you want. Keep things on the lighter side to make life easier and brighter around Thursday and Friday. You’ll be getting to some more intense intellectual or emotional stuff this weekend anyway.
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21)
Good thing you love mysteries, because Monday’s got some for you (there may even be a romantic puzzle to solve). While you may want to take a free-form, go-with-the-flow approach on Tuesday and Wednesday, a plan and a steady pace will get you further, faster. (Seek help with the plan if you need it.) Prepare for competition around Thursday and Friday. Avoid letting yourself be ambushed and consider some unusual tactics (make them an ally or kill them with kindness, for instance). It’s best not to work this weekend, but if you must, give it your total concentration or risk slip-ups.
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21)
Keep your keys and wallet on your person and your wits about you on Monday; you’re liable to lose things. On Tuesday and Wednesday, make an effort to have fun. An impromptu work lunch, playing cards with friends, a little flirtation -- you’re good at squeezing more out of life, so get on it. You’ll have to deal with responsibilities around Thursday and Friday, and if you can help somebody else out with theirs, too, even better. This weekend, know your power: The influence you can have on the outcome of a situation is strong.
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19)
Your creative input is very valuable on Monday, and you know the right way to communicate it, too. Then, around Tuesday and Wednesday, it’s important to get to the bottom of any stress you might be feeling. Is it job related? Or regarding a certain relationship? Think it through, and get some exercise, too -- it’ll help clear your head. Your energy’s excellent on Thursday and Friday -- those days are full of accomplishment, while the nights might just provide fun and romance. If someone’s talking a lot this weekend, ask yourself if they’re actually saying much of substance.
AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18)
A detour may be more alluring -- and lead more interesting places -- than the road more traveled on Monday. You’ll want some fresh food for thought, because Tuesday and Wednesday find you ready to make some giant intellectual leaps. You can really put the pieces together now and fill in the gaps. If you’re bored around Thursday and Friday, it’s your own fault. Even minor experiences are offering oddities and acquaintances that’ll fascinate if you give them the chance. This weekend, you’re just plain hot -- dress and plan accordingly.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade 1/10 Philly Funk Authority
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Thursdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Fridays: DJ Statik
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Tuesdays: Billy Patrick Thursdays: Comedy Night 1/23 Weyerbacher Pairing The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 1/11 The Punkabilly’s
OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 1/10 DJ Bluto Karaoke Call 1/11 A.D.D
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 1/10 The Rips 1/11 Todd O’s River Of Dreams 1/12 21st Century Troubadours Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 1st Wed of Month - Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 1/10 Pocono Duo 1/11 Sound 1/12 Pocono Duo 1/14 Regina Sayles
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
PISCES (2/19 - 3/20)
Your creative powers are pretty stunning on Monday, so use that imagination at work and at play. If you feel like someone’s not being straight with you on Tuesday or Wednesday, lead by example -- put your cards on the table and ask what they’ve got up their sleeve. It’s surprising how much a forthright question can prompt. The stars are sending you some lovely, loving energy around Thursday and Friday. Whoever’s close to you is lucky indeed, and relationships of all sorts can really grow now. Keep your plans minimal this weekend; you’ll be plenty busy with stuff that pops up.
Check Out Todd O’s River Of Dreams Billy Joel Music This Saturday At Puck in Doylestown, PA
1401 S. FRONT ST ALLENTOWN, PA 18103 PHONE 610-841-3777
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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PAGE 27
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014 Page 30
single in the CiTY THE DATING BUDDHA
In recent decades Buddhism and its various forms have become en vogue in Western cultures, including the United States. And it could be applied to Kenny Luck almost anything—even dating. As a yoga and meditation practitioner, I find the following concepts useful in my own life, and, perhaps, you will, too. The Dharma, or the teachings of the Buddha, contains several key concepts that, whether you practice Buddhism or not, are general enough that they can be applied to your dating life. 1. Mindfulness. Zen, Tibetan or Mahayana Buddhism . . . the concept of mindfulness, a central Buddhist idea, invites practitioners to become aware of, and live in, the present moment, no matter the particular tradition. Whether married, single or dating, mindfulness remains as a useful tool, helping to ground the individual in the here and now, allowing the practitioner to, for instance, listen deeply to their partner, making for improved communication between individuals and, ultimately, for a better relationship. 2. Impermanence. The idea that nothing lasts forever— impermanence—stands as an important Buddhist teaching, especially if a breakup commences. At times, we may have the tendency to become too attached to things . . . to people, to places and to events. Recognizing the impermanence of things may “soften the blow,” sort to speak, and allow us to come to terms with a loss in the context of a breakup or otherwise. 3. Nonviolence. In this respect, nonviolence does not only apply to angry, physical acts of violence but also to acts of emotional or psychological violence. The Buddhist concept of nonviolence invites us to use restraint in speech, if we are, for example, engaged in an argument with our significant other or, say, unable to reach a peaceful resolution to a problem. Nonviolence is a key concept— that is, it challenges us to remain peaceful and clam and mindful. 4. The Four Noble Truths. According to Buddhism, life, at its core, contains suffering. Acknowledging this holds as the first step toward obtaining enlightenment. The Four Noble Truths explore this in more detail. And, let’s face it: interpersonal, romantic relationships can cause major suffering. Awareness of that suffering persists as an important way to combat it. 5. The Bodhisattva. In his book, The Art of Happiness, His Holiness The Dalai Lama expands more on the concept of the Bodhisattva, defining it as “awakening warrior,” or, “one who, out of love and compassion, has obtained a mental state characterized by the genuine aspiration to attain full enlightenment in order to benefit all beings.” Becoming a “relationship Bodhisattva,” one who seeks an enlightened state for the benefit of their significant other and others, remains important.
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
MUSIC
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
EMPLOYMENT
Seeking Interns Drummer Wanted We are seeking motivated We are looking for drums to interns, seeking college credit complete a 4 piece rock act. We email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 Comfort Inn Quakertown GUITAR LESSONS from touring Now accepting applications. pro, performing and teaching Weekends are mandatory. No for over 30 years and has shared calls please. Reply with resume the stage with BB King, Les Paul or employment applications are and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462 available and being accepted at hotel front desk 24 hours a day. Trumpet / Bugler Needed To perform 140 Military funerals Now Hiring! per year. Primarily between Tattooist for busy shop Reading and Allentown. Leave Message 609-504-9450 610-365-2159
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
REAL ESTATE
Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Spacious apartment, just renovated Six rooms, apartment, new kitchen, New decor, all utilities paid, near transportation. $700/month 610-266-7300
AUTOMOTIVE
1999 Honda Civic EX System Included / Clean Title $3,200.00 OBO / Call Or Text 484-268-6400
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
//CLASSIFIEDS
The Valley Beat
2003 Ram 1500 V8 SLT Crew cab short bed 5.9 v8 4x4. Coopersburg- Rooms For Rent It’s fully loaded It has 20 inch RESTAURANT Weekly or Monthly. Cable wheels please call or text 610-653-0453 Utilities and wifi included. BARTENDER Single & Double Occupancy. Roosevelt’s 21st is looking to $80/week and up. hire experienced bartenders. Clean Private. 610-282-8010 1328 West Tilghman St, Allentown, PA 21 East Elizabeth Ave, Bethlehem, PA Send resume or apply in person at either location.
TO PLACE AN AD IN OUR NEW CLASSIFIED SECTION CONTACT US TODAY... Certain Restrictions Apply
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FREE CLASSIFIEDS FOR A LIMITED TIME. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A FREE OPPORTUNITY!
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
DISCREET EROTIC
ANU
PENING
GRAND O
EUROPEAN & ORIENTALSTAFF
COMPANIONS
Open Daily 10am - Midnight
24/7 - By Appt
Oriental & European Beauties
• Jacuzzi • Sauna • Table Shower 10 Minutes from Mt Airy Casino
Next to Expressions Bar
10 Min from Mt Airy Casino
1074 Rt 390 North • Mountain Home PA 18342
Lehigh Valley
MONDAY - FRIDAY
610-437-9505
Private & Discreet
offer valid with coupon
Open 7 DAYS 10am - 10pm wawa
AIRPORT RD SOUTH
LEHIGH VALLEY AIRPORT 2MI
0.1mi from 0.3mi from Union Blvd Hanover Ave GRAHAM
Aavalon is located on the corner of Graham & 724 E. Cedar St
aavalon
BIG WOODY’S
SHOWER
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OPEN 7 DAYS 9:30am - 10pm 25min from Bethlehem
#52. RT 611 BARTONSVILLE, PA
570-468-4939
Pocono Locations
expires 1/31/2014
Massage by
• CUTE GIRLS • FREE TABLE
LOCATED ACROSS FROM ADULT OUTLET
CLUB
HANOVER AVE
GRAND OPENING ASIAN BODY MASSAGE
60 MINUTE SESSION FOR $50
Welcome to the
724 E. CEDAR ST • ALLENTOWN, PA 18109 SELECTIVELY HIRING!
U N I O N B LV D
484-554-3047
610-605-7299
American
hess express cvs
JANUARY 2014 SPECIAL CALL! OPEN DAILY 9:30AM - 9PM
570-234-8150 BODY RUB
E.CEDAR ST
MASSAGE
Aavalon
dunkin 0.1mi on donuts Union Blvd
917-363-4061
BODY RUB
HALF HOUR
WINTER SPECIAL 10 MINUTES FROM MT. AIRY CASINO
Pocono Peddler’s Villiage
484-294-6900
Rt 611 Tannersville, PA
570-431-0123
ARIES SPA 3333 HAMILTON BLVD
610.820.0210
•Certified Massage Therapist (Shiatsu, Swedish, Finger Pressure) •Foot Massage •Facial & Skin Care for Men Open 7 Days
BARBIE $50
484-201-0931 484-201-0931
Dolls #1 In The Pocono’s
with coupon
EXPIRES 1-14-14
2 MILES FROM AIRPORT
413 Union Blvd Allentown, PA 18109
610.841.7900
•SAUNA •BODY SHAMPOO •HOT TOWEL HOURS 9am - 11pm OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
10% OFF
WITH COUPON
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
PAGE 35
How They Have Sex ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ANSI does it in the standard way ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal. BARBERS do it with shear pleasure. BARTENDERS do it on the rocks. BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base. BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often. BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey. BEER BREWERS do it with more hops. BEER DRINKERS get more head. BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds. BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry. BOSSES delegate the task to others. BOWLERS have bigger balls. BRICKLAYERS lay all day. BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber. BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time. BUTCHERS have better meat. C’Bers do it on the air. CAMPERS do it in a tent. CARPENTERS hammer it harder. CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor. CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm. CHEMISTS like to experiment. CHESS PLAYERS check their mates. CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation. CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically. CLOWNS do it for laughs. COACHES whistle while they work. COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs. COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs. COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can’t stop. COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
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THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014 Page 36
JOKES
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED OVER 20 YEARS WITH EXCEPTIONAL CUSTOMER SERVICE RANKED NUMBER ONE IN THE POCONO’S
PAGE 37
610-921-0777 TV, Major Motion 156 Madison Ave, Picture Films, Print and Promotional www.donatellimodels.com Reading Pa
800-537-4667
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
a t e n l o l i D
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014 Page 38
AVAILABLE WHEREVER BEER IS SOLD! Please Drink Responsibly
AllentownBeverage.com
Would you like to be Model of the Week? Please send your photos and bio to: randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
PAGE 39
MARY KELLY - 2013
Photos By: Sean Sohl - Dragon Ink Photography - Dragon Ink LLC Photos By: Paul Musilli BLUE BOX PRODUCTIONS LLC
CONGRATULATIONS 2013 MODEL OF THE YEAR!
THE VALLEY BEAT JANUARY 8, 2014
MODEL BEAT
STAY CONNECTED WITH US! /THESBEC
JOY BEHAR
@THESBEC
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