FREE DECEMBER 4, 2013
THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
PHOTO BY: SHOWGUN PHOTOGRAPHY
E H T T A S T O H HOTS AY SOCIAL W D A O G BR N I V I G S K N A TH 2 1 . P ! E EV LIKE THE BEAT THE VALLEY’S HOTTEST WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE NEWSPAPER
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
Pie’s On Pizzeria (610) 264-7000
Did you have your piece today
www.piesonpizzeria
We Deliver! Monday (Closed)
Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 11am-10pm Friday & Saturday 11am - 11pm Sunday 4pm - 10pm Front & Pine Streets Catasaqua, Pa 18032
JOIN US ON FACEBOOK www.facebook.com/thevalleybeat
Welcome To Our Brand New Renovated Location
PAGE 2
Conveniently located 1.5 miles From The Lehigh Valley Airport
BRAND NEW SERTA PILLOWTOP MATTRESSES
•FREE INTERNET • FREE BREAKFAST • GREAT NIGHTLY RATE • CENTRALLY LOCATED IN THE VALLEY • WALKING DISTANCE FROM STRATUS NIGHT CLUB & PLATINUM PLUS GENTLEMEN’S CLUB 1033 AIRPORT RD • ALLENTOWN PA 18103 • 610-434-9550
COVER: THE BROADWAY SOCIAL 11 LOCAL BEAT
WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT Concert listings from many places
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE 6 •168. OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 ISSUE DECEMBER 4 - 11, 2013
10 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
ALBUM REVIEW 16 Done by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant
TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 17 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review MEALS 21 HOLIDAY Elle Spaulding shows us the downside of some holiday meals
32 ZODIAC
Your astrology for the week
44 JOKES & COMICS A few chuckles to get you through the week
12 HOT SHOTS 47 MODEL BEAT
BEAT 47 MODEL Last, but certainly not least your model of the week Welcome to The Valley Beat Newspaper! Lehigh Valley’s Hottest Alternative Newspaper. Distributed at more than 600 locations across the Lehigh Valley, Reading, Upper Bucks County & the Poconos Contact Information: Fax: 484-229-0506 thevalleybeat@gmail.com • valerie@thevalleybeat.com clubinfo@thevalleybeat.com • distribution@thevalleybeat.com classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Please Note: The content in this paper does not necessarly represent the views of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat Bands That Rock, The Valley Beat are registered trademarks of the The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Any content may not be reproduced without permission or written consent of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat - Bands That Rock are a Registered Trademark #3342218 within in the state of Pennsylvania. Any Material submitted becomes the property of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. The Valley Beat reserves the right to refuse advertising or content. The Valley Beat is not liable for any errors discovered, or any changes after an ad has been printed.
Editor: Valerie L. Keiper Creative Director: Don Junz Model Beat: See Page 47 Contributor: Mitch | Kenny Luck Columinists: Elle Spaulding | Camille Capriglione | Nick Gaskins | A.J. Fritz
Cover Design: Don Junz Album Review: Scotty Brilliant Weekly Top 10: Gina Crash Hot Shots: Showgun Photography
For Advertising info contact: Don Junz (484) 293-1831 © The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. All Rights Reserved
PAGE 3
Join Us on Facebook: The Valley Beat
Direct all inquiries to: The Valley Beat • RR 1 Box 457 • Stroudsburg, PA 18360
Page 4
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY - FAMILY OF MAN The Marvels of Science: The notorious white separatist Craig Cobb is currently soliciting like-skinned people to move to his tiny town of Leith, N.D. (pop. 16), to create a deluxe Caucasian enclave, but at the urging of a black TV host submitted to a DNA test in November to “prove” his lineage -- and turned up 14 percent black (“Sub-Saharan African”). He has vowed to try other DNA tests before confirming those results. Bobby Harper, previously Leith’s only black resident, was gleeful: “I knew there was one other black person in town.” (In mid-November, Cobb was charged, along with an associate, with seven counts of terrorism for walking menacingly through Leith wielding a long gun.)
GOVERNMENT IN ACTION -- Recurring Theme: The Environmental Protection Agency, already revealed in June to have allowed a contractor to maintain taxpayer-funded “man caves” (TVs, appliances, couches, videos, etc.) hidden away in a Washington, D.C.-area warehouse, made the news again during the government shutdown in October when soup with a 1997 expiration date was found during the shutdown in an EPA employees’ refrigerator. Furthermore, in September, former high-level EPA executive John Beale pleaded guilty to defrauding the agency of $900,000 in salary, expenses and bonuses dating back to the 1990s by claiming work orders (including secret projects for the CIA) that no one at EPA appears ever to have tried to verify. -- In October, Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro created a “Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness” to coordinate the welfare programs begun by the late President Hugo Chavez. Critics charged, however, that there is much to be unhappy about, given the country’s annual rate of inflation (near 50 percent), and an Associated Press dispatch quoted one critic who said she would be happy enough if only stores were not constantly out of milk and toilet paper. (Another skeptic said he looked forward to maybe a Vice Ministry of Beer). -- The U.S. government has engaged in some legendarily wasteful projects, but leaders in China’s Yungai village (pop. 3,683), in Hunan province, have surely raised the bar for epic squander after borrowing the equivalent of $2.4 million and building an impressive seven-story government headquarters -- but with 96 still-unlooked-out front windows because there is no activity beyond the first floor. According to an October London Daily Telegraph report, the only occupants are the village government’s eight employees.
GREAT ART! Leandro Granato, 27, said that he discovered, as a kid in Argentina, that liquids sucked up through his nose could then be squirted out of his eye -- and an art career was born. News sites reported in October that Granato’s “eye paintings” of ink colors, splattered out as tears on canvas in various motifs (from up to 1 1/2 pints of ink each), are offered for sale at a top-end price of the equivalent of $2,400 each. (Huffington Post’s story also reminded readers that Chilean artist Carina Ubeda is another who uses her body functions as a medium -- specifically, her menstrual blood, which she employed in the form of 90 used sanitary napkins arranged in a hoop featuring an apple, symbolizing ovulation. Her June show ran in Quillota, Chile.)
Not Ready for Prime Time: Derek Codd, 19, apparently left his cellphone, by accident, at the house in Lake Worth, Fla., that he had burglarized in November, and just as investigating officers were arriving and noticed it, the phone rang. (“Who is this?” an officer asked. The caller answered innocently, “Derek Codd’s mother.” Derek was arrested a short time later.)
POLICE REPORT -- Informal Georgia Sobriety Tests: Rachel Gossett blew a .216 alcohol reading in Loganville, Ga., in November, but that was probably a formality after an officer witnessed her attempt to put a cheeseburger from a Waffle Shop onto her foot as if it were a shoe. And Rashad Williams, 38, was charged with DUI in Atlanta in October after he crashed through the front of a Walgreens drugstore and then, according to a witness, calmly exited his vehicle (which was sticking halfway into the building) and resumed drinking next door at the Anchor Bar. -- Round Up the Usual Suspect: Indicted for rape in August in Hamilton County, Tenn.: Mr. John Allan Raper, 19. (Other recent miscreants were Mr. Batman Suparman, 23, convicted in Singapore in November of housebreaking and theft, and Mr. Bamboo Flute Blanchard, 18, who was arrested in June in Gainesville, Fla., and accused of trying to stab his father for an unreported provocation -- although one possible motive suggests itself.) -- Chutzpah!: Sheriff’s deputy Darrell Mathis of Newton County, Ga. (30 miles east of Atlanta), a five-year veteran, was arrested in September and charged with selling marijuana locally -- from his squad car, in uniform, and apparently without inhibition. A confidential informant, unnerved by Mathis’ alleged brazenness, convinced FBI agents in April 2013 to do a by-the-book sting (with which Mathis, of course, naively cooperated, according to bureau affidavits). (In their final meeting before the arrest, for example, Mathis took pains to assure the agents: “Don’t worry. I’m on your side.” He was reportedly enthusiastic about the sting’s plan to run marijuana and cocaine from Alabama to North Carolina.)
SIGHTS TO BEHOLD -- In a courthouse lobby in Kelso, Wash., in October, a woman brought a cake in with her through security. Robert Fredrickson, a stranger, was also in the building on business. Without warning, Fredrickson attacked -- the cake, not the woman -- feeding himself with his hands before washing them off at a drinking fountain. “(S)tand right there. Don’t move,” yelled a deputy, attempting to bring Fredrickson to justice. As soon as the officer looked away, however, Fredrickson returned to clawing at the cake and stuffing his mouth. Finally, several deputies arrived to subdue Fredrickson and charge him with theft and resisting arrest.
A NEWS OF THE WEIRD CLASSIC Among the medical oddities mentioned in a December (2008) Wall Street Journal roundup was “Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Disorder,” in which a person, when startled, would “jump, twitch, flail their limbs, and obey commands given suddenly, even if it means hurting themselves or a loved one.” It was first observed in 1878 among lumberjacks in Maine, but has been reported also among factory workers in Malaysia and Siberia. It is believed to result from a genetic mutation that blocks the calming of the central nervous system (but could be merely psychological, from the stress of working in close quarters).
PAGE 5
(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
Page 6
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 7
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
CONCERT BEAT CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713 The Music of the Doors - Live, Dec 6 Stay Classy Saturday’s, Dec 7 The Young Guns, Dec 11 Kix, Dec 14
TICKETS 212-307-7171 Rod Stewart, Dec 9
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600
TICKETS 570-325-0249 The Grand Slambovians, Dec 6 Twelve Twenty Four TSO - Dec 7 Coal County Christmas, Dec 8
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791 Rob Base, Dec 28 Burlesque Show, Dec 29 The B Street Band, Jan 10
Twenty One Pilots, Dec 5 A$AP Ferg, Dec 6 Lupe Fiasco, Dec 9 Reggie Watts, Dec 11
MAIN GATE, Allentown PA TICKETS 610-898-7200 Black Sheep Live, Dec 7
TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Get the Led Out, Dec 14 Zedd, Dec 28 Dark Star Orchestra, Dec 29 Lotus-Risky Disko, Dec 30
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 800-745-3000
Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular, Dec 6 The Price is Right, Dec 7 Myth Busters, Dec 12 XFE Cage Wars, Dec 14 World Championship Boxing, Dec 18 Kenny G Holiday Show, Dec 19 Smokey Robinson, Dec 27 Larry The Cable Guy, Dec 28 The Jersey Shore’s DJ Pauly D, New Years Eve, Dec 31 (Vision Bar) Joy Behar, Jan 10
Pink Floyd Dark Side, Jan 11 Lisa Lampanelli, Feb 15 Jim Gaffigan & The White Bread Tour, Mar 29 Franki Avalon, Fabian, Bobby Rydell, May 15
FM KIRBY CENTER, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-826-1100 Bryan Adams, Dec 10
SANTANDER ARENA, Reading, PA TICKETS 610-898-7469 Toby Mac, Dec 5 Straight No Chaser, Dec 6 The Fresh Beat Band, Dec 8
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 922-5483 Chasing Safety, Nov 29 DJ Xtina, Dec 4 Stero Coma, Dec 6 Jacob Kulick, Dec 8 Hot Water Music, Dec 13 The Devil Wears Prada, Dec 14 Protest the Hero, Dec 15 Mantis Music Showcase, Dec 28 David Koechner, Jan 11
REVERB - Reading, PA 1409 N. 9th St
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA
(610) 743-3069 Fates Warning, Nov 27 Girls, Girls, Girls, Dec 6 Misfits + The Attack + More, Dec 7 Bam Margera, Dec 21 H2O, Dec 28
TICKETS 215-336-3600 Pink, Dec 6 Rod Stewart, Dec 11 Sarah Ayers & Friends, Dec 20 Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes, Dec 21 Jimmy And THe Parrots, Dec 27
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650 The Machine, Nov 29 John Pinetter, Nov 30 Rock Rhythm & Soul, Dec 6 Michael McDonal, Dec 7
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Rusted Root, Dec 5 Beatlemania Now, Dec 7 Twelve-Twenty Four, Dec 12 Men of the Strip, Dec 19
Dark Star Orchestra, Nov 27 Travis Tritt, Dec 6 Phil Vassar, Jan 11 Kix, Jan 31
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
TICKETS 212-777-6800
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA
Avril Lavigne and Jason Derulo, Dec 5
Scythian, Dec 13 Swearingen & Kelli, Dec 15 Rob Stoneback Big Band, Dec 19
TICKETS 877-686-5366
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA
TICKETS 610-332-1300
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ The Fresh Beat Band Live, Dec 6 Demi Lovato, Mar 1
Veil of Maya, Dec 6 Norma Jean, Dec 7 Abk, Dec 18
MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
Christian Porter, Dec 20 Clutch, Dec 28 Galactic, Feb 9 Rebelution, Feb 12
TICKETS 570-325-0371
Rock Icon’s The Misfits Perform This Saturday At Club Reverb In Reading
Blast Furnace Room at ArtsQuest MAINGATE NIGHTCLUB (610) 776-7711 101 Founders Way, Bethlehem, PA (610) 332-1300 448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THIS
ALL AGES /21 TO DRINK
136 north 6th street, reading, pa CLUB (610) 898-show / www.santander-arena.com CHAMELEON 223 NORTH WATER STREET, LANCASTER, PA
WWW.CHAMELEONCLUB.NET
ALL AGES /21 TO DRINK
Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Charge-by-phone 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET
“WE ARE THE LEHIGH VALLEY’S ONLY PIERCING AND BODY MODIFICATION STUDIO”
• SCALPING • LARGEST SELECTION OF BODY JEWELRY IN THE VALLEY
ALL PIERCINGS $25.00 ALL YEAR INCLUDES JEWELRY
ALL DERMALS $25.00 ALL YEAR INCLUDES JEWELRY
• IMPLANTS • SURFACE PIERCING • CAUTERY BRANDING
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE PAGE 9
HERE’S THE DEAL: EVERY 5th PIERCING IS FREE
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4,2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524
Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 12/5 Jame w/Roman 12/6 Jake Kaligis & The New Constitution 12/7 The Buzzards Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Thurs: Open Mic Billy Patrick 12/6 Jordan White 12/7 Billy Patrick Wave Night Club 22 N. 6th St 610-821-9283 Resident DJ Xtina Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 12/7 DJ Statik / Karaoke
BETHLEHEM Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 12/4 Urban Achievers 12/5 Flowers For Taco 12/6 Whiskey Hickon 12/7 Way to Egress 12/8 DJ Realion 12/9 Open Mic 12/10 Asa and Em
Page 10
Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 Strange Brew 610 865 1028 Tavern Monday: Trivia 1996 S. Fifth St Friday DJ June 610-841-3610 Saturday DJ Cisco Monday: Pong night Fri & Sat: Dance club/ 12/13 Christopher Karaoke Dean Band 12/21 Endzone Bethlehem Brew Works Roosevelt’s 21st 569 Main St 1328 W. Tilghman St 610-882-1300 (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price Vision Bar @ Sands apps Live Music 4-7 Event Center Live Entertainment 77 Sands Boulevard Tim Harakal / Billy 610-297-7410 Patrick / Strange Coincidence & More 12/6 Emily’s Toy Box 12/7 Total Whiteout 12/7 DJ Freezie
Jetport Lounge 3400 Airport Rd. Allentown, Pa 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Mike Mitman
Lou’s 50 Yard Line 2626 Easton Ave 610-882-9190 Thursdays: Open Mic Tuesday’s - Trivia Saturday’-Karoke w/ Jason
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 12/4 DJ Jonny B & The After Dark Dancers 12/5 Go Go Gadjet 12/6 M80 12/7 The Benjamins 12/8 Off the Road 12/9 Steve Brown & The Fall Out 12/10 Tower Suite & Friends Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Zee 12/6 DJ Roonie G
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 12/6 Stacy Earle & Mark Stewart 12/7 Zen for Primates 12/8 Justin Zolonynka The Broadway Social 217 Broadway 610-868-2555 12/7 Neon Party
M-80 12/6 Molten Lounge Bethlehem, PA
W/ DJ TOM TAYLOR 12/6 Emily’s Toybox w/DJ Tom Taylor Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
Neon Party 12/7 Broadway Social Bethlehem, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010 Thursdays: Pool Tournament 8pm
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke Fri - DJ Baby B 12/4 Gary Dillon 12/7 The Gearhearts
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ Sun: 9-Ball Pool League Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 12/6 End of Prohibition Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 12/6 Dr. Droll 12/7 Blue Jean
End of Prohibition Party 12/6 Drinky’s Easton, PA
MORE ON PAGE 32
Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
THE 2013 THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT BEAT DECEMBER OCTOBER 9,4,2013
by: Mitch
BANDS THAT ROCK
Trick Stacy from left: Jose Matos, Ricky Smith, Stacy Zellner, Rich Kemmerer, Mark Plantier (photo by Brian Lemburg)
PANTONE 485 CVU
PANTONE Process Yellow CVU PANTONE Reflex Blue C PANTONE 1395 CVC
Go.” Trick Stacy covered The Romantics’ “What I Like About You”, Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll” and Gin Blossoms’ “Hey Jealousy” and that got the joint jumpin’. It only made sense to jump into the funk and dance tunes with Plantier dazzling on a lead guitar solo during Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music White Boy.” With everyone getting into the groove, Trick Stacy played a set of danceable pop songs. I especially enjoyed Zellner singing Nena’s “99 Red Balloons and No Doubt’s “Just A Girl.” Back for a third set, Trick Stacy went old school hammering out Jimi Hendrix’s “Fire”, Guns N’ Roses’“Sweet Child O’ Mine” and a double-shot of AC/DC with “You Shook Me All Night” and “TNT.” Ricky Smith did a pretty good Bon Scott vocal on the latter. Alice In Chains’ “Man in the Box” was a raucous rocker and then it was back to AC/DC with another two-fer – “It’s A Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock n Roll)” and “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.” Trick Stacy kept the energy levels high for the entire evening but when I heard them play The Beastie Boys’ “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (to Party!)”, it hit home in the sense that if we want to see more places like RoJo’s make a go of it when it comes to featuring live entertainment like Trick Stacy, we have to come out and support them because it doesn’t happen without an audience. I’m hopeful that we’ll be able to see more bands at RoJo’s Bar and Grill. Bands were meant to play there as they have in the past and it would be a travesty for it not to continue. I’ll be there! Will you?
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last eleven years! Tune in weeknights for Classic Rock of the 70’s, 80’s and more! Listen Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
PAGE 11 11 PAGE
I’m a rock and roll super sleuth - always on the case to find great Bands That Rock and great venues where they play and I will leave no stone unturned in my never-ending quest to let you know about them. A recent investigation pointed me in the direction of South Front Street in South Allentown to a bar and nightclub called RoJo’s - 1401 South Front Street to be exact. The address was all too familiar to me; a place I’d been to many times before; a place that was notorious for great live music throughout the years although I hadn’t seen a band play there in at least fifteen years - if not longer. The Green Pine Inn…Casey’s Nightclub…ah yes, it was all coming back to me. This was the same place where years ago, I saw the amazing Blue Öyster Cult perform. Classic rockers Dave Mason and the late Jim Capaldi of Traffic along with Al Stewart of “Year of the Cat” fame also graced the stage there. I even saw the band Train play there before they became a lucrative locomotive express of a money machine churning out one pop rock hit after another. I often wondered what became of this former South Allentown rock and roll Mecca and now I know. For the past two years, it’s been under the stewardship and proprietorship of Joanne Safi doing business as RoJo’s Bar and Grill. What was once a dark, dank and dirty rock room, has now been transformed into a clean and classy club. Everything’s been updated yet the basic configuration of the room remains as it did from years past with the stage and sound system facing a wide swath of area that includes the dance floor, a back dining area but most importantly, the bar. This place was made for live music. I received a tip that live music was being phased back in to the entertainment schedule at RoJo’s which prompted my investigation. That tip came courtesy of Stacy Zellner, local songstress and front woman of Trick Stacy, a rock and pop cover band based in Slatington. Trick Stacy represented the first band to play at RoJo’s and also served as the measuring stick for owner Safi to determine the economic feasibility of bringing bands back to the stage at RoJo’s on an ongoing basis. Zellner
extended an invitation to Bands That Rock to witness the debut of what will hopefully be many more bands performing at RoJo’s. The lineup for Trick Stacy included a couple familiar faces. Joining Zellner was Jose Matos, current drummer for classic rockers Social Call and formerly of Ricky Smith and The Crush, Ricky Smith himself on guitars and vocals, Rich Kemmerer on bass guitar and Mark Plantier on lead guitar. They kicked off the inaugural set at RoJo’s with Republica’s “Ready to Go”, a fitting first song. Zellner donned her Dick Tracy Fedora hat and sang confidently. The band brought the big sound to impress and the atmosphere and enthusiasm in the room, boded well for potential future gigs at RoJo’s. The band then jumped right into The Rolling Stones’ “Honky Tonk Women” and followed up with an excellent version of Stevie Ray Vaughan’s “Pride and Joy” with Ricky Smith on vocals. Zellner and band then performed Georgia Satellites’ “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” as Zellner sang the lyrics from the female perspective. Black Crowes’ “Hard To Handle” was a good up-tempo follow-up and then guitarists Smith and Plantier hit the familiar power chords for Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You” as Zellner ably mimicked the Jett vocals. The band paid tribute to the ‘80s with several punk/new wave selections including The Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated” with Ricky Smith once again on vocals and then Zellner handling vocals on The Clash’s “Should I Stay Or Should I
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013 Page 12
HOTSHOTS! HOTSHOTS!
If you are a bar or club that would like to featured in Hot Shots send us an email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
THANKSGIVING EVE THE BIGGEST NIGHT OUT AT BETHLEHEM’S HOTTEST NEW CLUB THE BROADWAY SOCIAL
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
12 BARS OF CHRISTMAS
PAGE 13
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
FORMERLY GREEN PINE INN & CASEY’S
1401 S. FRONT ST ALLENTOWN, PA 18103 PHONE 610-841-3777
JOIN US DECEMBER 20th FOR AN EVENING WITH
HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS MONDAY - FRIDAY 5 -7PM DAILY FOOD SPECIALS KITCHEN OPEN TIL MIDNIGHT
UPCOMING ENTERTAINMENT
Page 14
JAN 10th COMMON BOND JAN 24th INDECISION
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 15
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013 Page 16
group released their debut album in 2005 before signing to Victory Records a year later. They then put out For Those Who Have Heart, which featured “The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle,” and in the rerelease the band included a cover of Kelly Clarkson’s angst fueled hit, “Since You’ve Been Gone.” They went on to release two more albums on Victory before a bitter split, which resulted in the group pressing charges against the label for breach of contract. After resolving the lawsuit, A Day to Remember self-released their latest effort, Common Courtesy. “City of Ocala,” the record’s poppy lead-off track, is about the band’s hometown, which they are clearly proud of. The song begins with the standard A Day to Remember catchy riff into McKinnon screaming “Fuck Yea!” I was fired up and eager to hear more. Next up is the second
at the end. “I Surrender” is another ballad which deals with breaking up and trying to move on after the relationship is over. I really had to make sure my iPod didn’t accidentally skip to another artist when “Lessons Learned the Hard Way” came on. This is by far the heaviest track on the new record. The album ends just as poppy as it began.
single release, “Right Back at It Again.” When I first heard this song, I immediately thought “radio hit.” Sure enough, I get at least one or two requests a day for it. I guess they had to make a radio friendly version of the song, which doesn’t include the a capella singing of the word “bitch” at the end of it. “Sometimes You’re the Hammer, Sometimes You’re the Nail” gives the floor punchers something to dance to, with super aggressive breakdowns and growling verses. The band slows things up on the ballad, “I’m Already Gone.” This sounds more like a Goo Goo Dolls hit than it does a song from a post-hardcore band’s new album. Despite the contrast, I still really enjoyed this heartfelt track. “Violence (Enough Is Enough)” is the album’s teaser song, having been released almost a year before the record came out. This proved to fans that they still had their hardcore roots. I am definitely digging the killer breakdown
Fans and critics have described A Day to Remember’s metalcore/pop punk blend as “pop-mosh,” “popcore,” and “easycore.” When asked in an interview with AbsolutePunk about their sound, Jeremy McKinnon stated, “It’s weird. See, it’s funny because we have been doing this for so long. When we started, this shit was not cool. Everyone told us mixing the two genres wouldn’t work. Hell, a lot of people still feel that way. We’ve just always played what we wanted to hear, and to be honest people weren’t doing it back then. We loved pop punk, we loved hardcore bands, and we couldn’t decide what to be. So we said fuck it. Let’s do them both.” However you want to define them really doesn’t matter. They do metal just as well as they do pop-punk. The fact that they don’t fit into a certain genre is what makes them so appealing. And besides…who really wants to fit in anyway?
Crank It Dead and Buried Sometimes You’re the Hammer, Sometimes You’re the Nail Lessons Learned the Hard Way Skip It Life @ 11 Good Things End of Me
Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
PAGE 16
Sometimes fitting in is not always the best recipe for success. Case in point: A Day to Remember. Having always been a fan of hardcore, punk, and pop punk, a friend messaged me right when they burst on the scene to ask if I had ever heard of them. I had in fact heard of them, but never actually heard them. I went to the popular music streaming site, Purevolume.com, to take a listen. After hearing what has come to be known as the group’s anthem, “The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle,” I was instantly impressed. Despite my aversion to their chosen name, which I thought was cheesy, A Day to Remember had actually sparked my interest. I thought their hooks were catchy, their screams guttural, and their breakdowns were brutal. I was equally as impressed with their music video for the song which featured porn icon Ron Jeremy as a Kimono-wearing hardcore two-step dance instructor. The video was hilarious and showed a creative side to the in-your-face hardcore band from Ocala, Florida. After getting into the fierceness of “The Plot to Bomb the Panhandle,” I listened to one of the other Purevolume featured tracks “You Had Me at Hello,” which was from their debut album And Their Name Was Treason. With this song, my thoughts of the band began to change. The problem didn’t lie with the song, which I actually liked; it was the fact that I thought I was listening to a totally different band. Their ability to switch back and forth between hardcore and pop rock has not only brought the band praise, but also much criticism. The group was formed from modest beginnings in 2003 by guitarist Tom Denney and drummer Bobby Scruggs. They then recruited vocalist Jeremy McKinnon, who was in the Floridabased ska band All For Nothing. After a few line-up changes, the group now consists of McKinnon, rhythm guitarist and backing vocalist Neil Westfall, bassist Joshua Woodard, drummer Alex Shelnutt and lead guitarist Kevin Skaff. They are known for their extensive touring schedule and their explosive live shows. I, unfortunately, wasn’t able to see them when then rocked the Sands Event Center a few months ago. It was cool, because I have seen them a few times before, and they do not disappoint. For a while, during the middle of their show, McKinnon would inflate a huge plastic bubble, climb inside it and float out on top of the crowd while still rocking out. The
By: Scotty Scotty Brilliant Brilliant By:
THE VALLEY BEAT NOVEMBER 6, 2013
ALBUM ALBUM REVIEW REVIEW
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
BATTLE BORN
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN & THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL, VOL 2
LOLA MONTEZ
VOLBEAT
OUTLAW GENTLEMEN AND SHADY LADIES
TIRED
STONE SOUR HOUSE OF GOLD AND BONES PT. 1
PLOT: An affable loser prone to donating generously at the sperm bank discovers that he’s fathered hundreds of children - who know want to get to know him. REVIEW: Going into DELIVERY MAN, I was prepared for another sardonic Vince Vaughn comedy with another smirky “Everyone is an idiot but me” performance from the actor; seems as though you get exactly what you expect. But I was surprised (might be going too far to say I was pleasantly surprised) to find that the film, a remake of a popular French-Canadian movie titled STARBUCK, is more of a heartstring-tugger, the kind a younger Robin Williams might have found himself in. There’s no doubt it’s manipulative, sometimes shamefully so, but it’s not so bad as far as these things go, and Vaughn turns out to be a rather sympathetic lead.
DEAL WITH THE DEVIL POP EVIL ONYX
NEVER NEVER KORN
THE PARADIGM SHIFT
VOICES
ALICE IN CHAINS THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE
SIRENS
PEARL JAM
LIGHTNING BOLT
HAIL TO THE KING
AVENGED SEVENFOLD HAIL TO THE KING
ADRENALINE
SHINEDOWN AMARYLLIS
BORN TO RISE
REDLIGHT KING IRONS IN THE FIRE
Naturally, a movie about a man with 500 children would be stretching the credibility allowed by even the wackiest of comedies, so DELIVERY MAN pairs it down to a little over 100. That is to say, of all those donations, about 100+ of Dave’s “children” are actually curious about the man who helped create them. They’ve hired a law firm to find this mysterious man, whose identity is protected thanks to a contract made with the sperm bank, so now it’s up to Dave whether or not he wants to protect his many secrets, or confront them. Dave’s lawyer friend Brett (Chris Pratt) convinces him to fight the request (anonymously, of course), but Dave’s curiosity gets the best of him: he starts peeking into the lives of his many kids. One is a basketball star, one is an actor working a coffee shop job, one is a suicidal mess, etc. Before he knows it, Dave is acting as something of a guardian angel to his offspring, all the while keeping his identity hidden from them… But things get complicated when he discovers that the whole lot of them have banded together in a support group, which he inadvertently finds himself a part of. But there’s an amiable tone to DELIVERY MAN that makes the proceedings bearable; most of that is thanks to Vaughn, who as mentioned shows off a kinder, gentler side here to positive effect. We get some of the snarky Vaughn that is simply natural to the actor’s persona, but for the most part he’s a gentle soul here, showing us some range as a man who struggles with his moral conundrum. As his friend, Chris Pratt is the more peevish of the two, cracking off one-liners and asides with humorous ease. They make a good team. Do I recommend this movie? I recommend it for a certain segment of the audience; a family looking for a none-too-offensive, holiday-friendly comedy could do much worse, but someone seeking out a raunchy number, or something edgy or unpredictable, will likely be turned off by the film’s treacly messages about responsibility and family. Yeah I know, who wants to see that stuff, but if you’re seeking out something that forgoes the cynical and nasty tendencies Hollywood comedies are prone to these days, DELIVERY MAN might be a welcome respite.
PAGE 17
10
By Chris Bumbray
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
! E E R F E K O M S NOW
43 CRAFT - DRAFTS ON TAP 25 CRAFT - WINGS 70 CRAFT - BURGERS EVERY SATURDAY - BUY ONE BURGER GET ONE FREE!
ICE - COLD PITCHERS - ALL DAY EVERYDAY
$7 $8
COORS LIGHT SAM ADAMS, ANGRY ORCHARD, LABATT, BLUE MOON
Page 18
NIGHTLY ENTERTAINMENT Wednesdays - Trivia Night Thursdays - DJ Thursday starting at 10PM Every Friday & Saturday - Live Acoustic Music
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 19
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! • HAPPY HOLIDAYS! • HAPPY HOLIDAYS! • HAPPY HOLIDAYS! FEATURING OUR NEW LINE BATH FAT CAT SANDWICH MENU $7.95 (Served on a roll)
#1 Bath Milf: Cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozz sticks, bacon, mayo & ketchup
#2 Bath Joint: Chicken fingers, mozz sticks, french fries & ranch
#3 Bath Motherclucker: Grilled chicken, amer-
ican cheese, jalapeno poppers, mayo & Ketchup #4 Bath Cowboy: Chicken cheesesteak, french fries, blue cheese & hotsauce #5 Bath Stud: Buffalo chicken fingers, mozz sticks, jalapeno poppers, ranch #6 Bath Cow: Double cheeseburger, french fries, bacon, mayo & ketchup #7 Bath Lush: Cheesesteak, grilled chicken, (2) mozz sticks, & bbq sauce #8 Bath Meathead: Cheesesteak, burger, bacon, mayo & ketchup #9 Bath Idiot: Chicken cheesesteak, bacon, jalaFRIpeno 6/28 -poppers, 9PM - 12AM mayo & ketchup #10Bath Rothenburger: Cheesesteak, jalapeno poppers, bacon, hot sauce & ranch #11Bath Caesar: Grilled chicken, bacon, french fries, romaine lettuce, caesar dressing & parmesan
DJ STATIK/
THURSDAY 20¢ WINGS FROM 12 - 10PM FRI 6/28 - 9PM - 12AM
NOON - 8 FREE BUFFET
Page 20
TRY ONE TODAY! THEY’RE DELICIOUS Football Specials Are Here!
Thurs: During Game - 20¢ wings & $2.25 Domestic Drafts Mon/ Sat /Sun: Bath Fat Cat Sandwiches $7.95 & 1lb. of Wings $3.50
www.cornerstonepubinc.com
THE VALLEY BEAT NOVEMBER 13,4,2013 THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 2013
Not So Merry Holiday Food By Elle Spaulding
orangish pumpkin spice marshmallows that were seen one day languishing in a bowl at work were disgusting. Of course a sensible person would say that if I don’t want to eat the vile gourd inspired foam, I can easily avoid it for more normal fare. And that is true, but tis the season after all. I know that all of this stuff is crap. Whether on a plane or on the ground, I know that I am going to hate it before it goes in my mouth, but for some reason, whether nostalgia of masochism, I do it anyway. I put up with bad flights and complain bout the food. I put up with pumpkin spice overload and complain about the food. I stuff myself silly on all the truly delicious things at my family’s holiday dinner and then sit on a couch, rub my belly, and complain about the food. So like every overly effusive aunt and bulgy eyed cousin that I only see once a year, I’m annoyed when it’s here but will genuinely miss it when it’s not. PAGEPAGE 21 21
Tis the season for holiday food. Thanksgiving just passed, but with holiday parties on the horizon, December is a veritable month long feast. Unfortunately, along with some mouth-watering highs, there are sobering lows. Perhaps the most notoriously bad nosh that is stuffed down our collective throats this time of year is airplane food. Most Americans will be travelling by some means this year to make it home for the holidays; of those, the Department of Transportation estimates that 15 million will be flying home (including this correspondent). 15 million “Chicken or Pasta?” or “Peanuts or Pretzels?”. The problem, of course, is that if you fly at all, you can’t really escape encountering airplane food in some form or another. Living in the Lehigh Valley means that if you’re not flying out of Allentown, it’s at least an hour in the car, 2 hours on the ground, and, if you’re lucky, a short 1-2 hour flight means that if you don’t eat what the airline gives you, you won’t be eating for a quite a while. Airlines however haven’t done much to make the reputation of their food any better. In the 1950s Pan Am filed a complaint with the International Air Transport Organization that the food served by European competitors was too fancy. Astonishingly the Organization agreed, which was the first major step towards decreasing food quality. The second and arguably largest step was when air travel costs were deregulated. Competition to provide cheap tickets drove prices down and quality with it. In the 1970s for example, American Airlines’ Bob Crandall calculated that the company could save $40,000 by removing a single olive from every salad served inflight and since that infamous calculation, airlines have been cutting costs ever since. I estimate that in the past several years, I have been on an average 6 flights per year across coasts and throughout America’s heartland and in all but one case I can’t remember being served anything more exciting than a bag of salted peanuts or a pack of Oreos (the one extraordinary case involved free alcohol, which will certainly make almost everyone on board a bit more merry). Shifting focus, Grinch-making holiday food frustrations are not limited to air travel, terrestrial
domains have their own crappy gastronomic traditions. Although there are too many to enumerate in the pages of this magazine, I would like to pick on one in particular: the absolute inundation of holiday flavored food. When I say “holiday flavored food”, I don’t mean the classic pumpkin pie and candy cane which will forever have a place in the feeding holes of America, but elbowing it’s way into our hearts and stomachs there’s the celebrated Starbucks’ pumpkin spice latte which has reached near cult status. Browsing my local Giant, I have noticed it replete with minty Chex Mix, minty chocolate truffles, pumpkin Poptarts, pumpkin flavored potato chips, white chocolate flavored potato chips, egg-nog flavored coffee creamer, etc. At Wegman’s I even found made in store pumpkin flavored ravioli meaning local cooks are just as susceptible to holiday overload as massive corporations. I’m not saying all of this is bad, but however glittery and snow-bright I am on the inside, but I’m not sure how delicious a white chocolate flavored potato chip is. Admittedly I couldn’t bring myself to buy the tube when I saw it. I can however personally attest that the grayish,
Page 22
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 23
PHOTOS BY RICHARD HAFNER
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
The Strange Tale of Glen Joseph
Page 24
By Elle Spaulding You know that saying, if you can’t tell who the craziest person in the room is, it’s probably you? I wonder if Glen Joseph ever took a second to ponder that for himself. Admittedly this week’s cast of characters includes: Mr. Joseph of Allentown, a Pennsylvania state trooper, the FBI, the US government, and the governments of both Russia and Pakistan. So answering that question may not be so easy. It all started sometime at least six years ago. Joseph and the state trooper had been family friends for several decades. The friendship soured however after the Joseph started sending “negative text messages” alleged the trooper in Lehigh County District court last week during Joseph’s criminal trial for terrorist threats. Joseph for his part does not deny these claims, but makes several of his own stating that for years he had been hearing voices in his head. According to Joseph, the voices told him that the FBI had been spying on him and using microwave technology to brainwash citizens. The fact that Joseph believed these messages led him to act on them. Joseph began to record the messages in handwritten notes and posts on social media sites like the Bethlehem Police Department’s own Facebook page. Joseph’s obsession with the FBI spiraled around one particular murder trial in the Lehigh Valley as well as events overseas including the embassy attack in Benghazi, Libya. Joseph also felt personally vulnerable to the FBI, when at one point Joseph became convinced that his apartment had been wiretapped by the FBI and that he was being watched. Joseph responded by skulking around his apartment with a gun looking for clandestine agents. The existence of other erratic behavior is not yet publically known, but it is known that Joseph’s obsession with the FBI is still visible online. While in the whirlpool of his obsessions, Joseph’s deep distrust of the US government led him to contact several international officials, including the governments of Russia and Pakistan, warning them about what he knew about US spying. Joseph’s behavior continued like this for years until the pivotal event in this saga occurred almost exactly a year ago on November 28th 2012 when Mr. Joseph telephoned the Bethlehem police station. While speaking with the dispatcher, Joseph expressed his intention to leave a message for the aforementioned state trooper. The message, “Tell him I’m going to (expletive) kill him” as well as a detailed message of where he was at the time of the phone call resulted in his arrest not long afterwards and imprisonment ever since. So that is the story of what happened almost a year ago today. And where are we now? News stories seemingly come out every few weeks if not every few days detailing the extent of government spying with the US and abroad. It’s gotten so bad that even our most staunch allies abroad have been hard-pressed to justify the level of spying that has been occurring. Meanwhile in some insane twist of fate whistleblower Edward Snowden found sanctuary in first China then ultimately Russia where he felt safer than in the United States. As for Glen Joseph, he was found guilty by a county judge for threatening the state trooper. At the time of this writing, Joseph will be sentenced at a later date. Despite everything, the strange thing is that Joseph does not think that he is crazy. Instead he claims that everything that has happened, including his own incarceration and trial, has been via his own construction. According to Joseph, he planned his arrest, detainment and imprisonment because he knew that it would spark media attention and hopefully lead to an investigation on what the FBI is really doing. Joseph stated in court, “I know you guys are laughing at me, but this is what you have to do in the year 2013 to get anything done about it.” Only time will tell if Glen Joseph was right or wrong, but for now we do know that although he’s no Edward Snowden, at least one person somewhere in the world found some value, if only comedic, in what Glen Joseph had to say. After receiving a message from Joseph, officials in Pakistan responded to Glen Joseph by sending him a smiley face.
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 25
Page 26
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 27
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013 Page 28
a t e n l o l i D
610-921-0777 TV, Major Motion 156 Madison Ave, Picture Films, Print www.donatellimodels.com Reading Pa and Promotional
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES 6. Delivery Man 7. Book Thief 8. Black Nativity 9. Philomena 10. Last Vegas
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
December 12th, 2013
REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800 READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828
NEW DVD RELEASES
1. The Wolverine 2. Smurfs 2 3. The Mortal Instruments 4. Drinking Buddies 5. Good Ol’ Frieda
6. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane 7. Hot In Cleveland: Season 4 8. Simpsons: Season 16 9. Transformers: Prime Season 3 10. Zombie Night (Dec 10)
PAGE 29
1. Hunger Games Catching Fire 2. Frozen 3. Thor: The Dark World 4. Best Man Holiday 5. Homefront
REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/
REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com
Page 30
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
MEGADETH ROCKED LAST SATURDAY
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 31
facebook.com/thevalleybeat
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4,2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19)
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22)
Your amazing personal energy is crying out for exercise of some kind on Monday, so try to indulge it. Even a brisk walk should do the trick! You need to really listen to people this week, though it may be hard to avoid the temptation to criticize flaws as soon as you spot them. Encourage the people in your life to look at things with fresh eyes and critique their own work -- they should learn more that way. The weekend is a time of emotional turmoil for you, though the odds are good that you don’t know exactly what’s going on down deep.
You and your best friends are in perfect sync as the week begins, so it’s a good time to resolve old confusions or make plans for later. Tuesday and Wednesday are almost shockingly slow moving, and you shouldn’t worry if you don’t make any progress on work or home projects -- they really can wait! Your romantic energy is fully engaged later in the week, so be sure to make time with your sweetie or go looking for someone new if you’re single. You may feel a little antsy this weekend, but making a few changes should soothe you.
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20)
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21)
You start the week still fired up from something that happened recently, and might be able to use that energy to get payback of some kind. Turn on the charm midweek, though -- you need to make the most of your connectedness to other people while it lasts. You might be able to land a new friend or romantic partner. Health issues may dominate your mind on Thursday and Friday, but they can be dealt with using positive measures and help from friends and family. You’re a bit more sensitive than usual this weekend, so try to avoid folks who rub you the wrong way.
You should do whatever you can to resolve disputes in a friendly way on Monday, because it’s all too easy for egos to get wrapped up so tightly they can’t budge. New information comes in midweek that intrigues you and almost certainly sets you off in a new and exciting direction -- make time for it. A challenge comes your way on Thursday or Friday that appears to be daunting but should actually prove to be rather easy to overcome. Your amazing energy this weekend should help you get past anything that has been holding you back.
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21)
You can’t help but speak out as the week begins, even if your opinion isn’t the most popular -- yet. Keep You don’t back down on Monday, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. You may not take your opinions talking and you should convince folks. Slow down on all that seriously, but you defend them tenaciously! A new Tuesday and Wednesday, as rushing only sets you back farther. If other folks pass you by, you know you’ll do understanding comes your way midweek, and while it might be a bit disruptive, you can accommodate it even- the same to them later on. The legal system is important later in the week, but maybe in a rather unexpected tually. Have fun on Thursday and Friday -- you deserve or beneficial way. Every now and then, the system a break, and you and your people are all filled with great works! Pay attention to your dreams and daydreams social energy! Volunteering or community service (howthis weekend, as they are much clearer than usual. ever you decide to define that) is perfect for your mood CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) this weekend. Monday is just like Mondays are supposed to be -CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) slow, bumbling and best seen as just a bridge between Monday is a great day for shopping -- within your limits, Sunday and Tuesday. Once it’s past, your good energy of course! You are more attuned to quality than usual and starts to flow back and you find it easy to educate might find some deals. In the middle of the week, you yourself on all sorts of new topics. It’s a great time for need to reopen lines of communication that have been you to get to know people better. You might make a down for some time. That may start out tricky, but it gets career move on Thursday or Friday, though it could be easier. Let your schedule fill up on Thursday and Friday, so small that others might not see it for what it is. It all as it’s better for your mood to keep busy rather than putties into your ambitions, which are much more obvious tering around aimlessly. The weekend brings some heavy and easily accessed this weekend. emotional business, but you are completely ready for it! AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18)
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21)
LEO (7/23 - 8/22)
You feel like a rock star as the week gets going, so live the life! If you want to skip out of responsibilities and do your own thing, you should. Money problems take you back to reality on Tuesday or Wednesday, but you should be able to wrap your mind around them without too much trouble. Call on support if you need it. As the week draws to a close, consider a date, even if you’ve been with your partner for decades. Your romantic energy is strong! The weekend is perfect for deep thought -- at least one big issue in your life needs serious attention.
Page 32
VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) Your big heart is a major player on Monday, and it might be hard for you to walk by any scene of suffering, however minor it may be. Rack up some karma! The middle of the week sees you at your most energetic, and it’s a great time to finish up a project or go for a victory of some kind. Don’t expect it to last forever, though -- by Thursday or Friday, you should run into some small setback that would discourage anyone else but you. Keep moving forward, and see if you can figure out what’s really going on over the weekend.
Your imagination is your best guide on Monday, and you should try to avoid censoring yourself or sticking with the plan if a better opportunity presents itself. Shopping and financial issues at work could be stressful in the middle of the week, and you ought to make sure that you’ve got as much information as you can handle. That brainpower you are so famous for is fully active on Thursday and Friday, so you ought to be able to impress folks with your quick wit. The weekend is a good time to think about your job and career as a whole, and maybe to think about making changes.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd 12/13 Breakfast w/Santa
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade 12/13 TimeWhy?s
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000 12/7 Latin / Social Dance
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Thursdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Fridays: DJ Statik
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Tuesdays: Billy Patrick Wednesday: BOGO Burgers Saturdays Live Music The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 12/7 Pr$ph$t
OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 12/6 Keep Out Of Reach 12/7 James Supra Blues Band
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 11/22 Everything is Everywhere w/Heat Thunder & Upperfields Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 12/6 Keith Garner 12/7 Mike Brill 12/13 Tina Margot
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 1st Wed of Month - Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 12/6 Richie Boom Boom 12/7 McCLAIN & Her Brooklyn Band 12/10 Regina Sayles 12/13 Doris Garcia Band
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) There’s a lot going on this week, and if you can get focus on Monday, it might last long enough for you to handle it all. Try to keep from straying too far. A project you’re working on midweek is more important than it appears, so you should try your best to apply yourself to it totally. Resentment might build up on Thursday or Friday if you let yourself obsess over some debt owed you by a friend or family member. See the big picture! You ought to be able to separate the good from the bad with greater ease this weekend, so get to it!
Check Out James Supra Blues Band at The Leather Corner Post in Orefield, PA
www.strangebrewtavern.co 610-841-3610
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews Entertainment This Week: Tuesday Dec 10 – Mark Fahad Friday Dec 13 – Christopher Dean Band Saturday Dec 21 – Endzone
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
24 Taps
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
strangebrew610
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
PAGE 33
Page 34
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 35
Page 32
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 37
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013 Page 38
single in the CiTY Top Five SignS You’re DaTing a LoSer For some reason, many of my female friends have consulted me, asking for advice about their relationship. In some cases, the guy they’re Kenny Luck dating is a stand-up person, and I urge her to continue seeing him. In other cases, he’s not. So, in order to sort of the ambiguities and lessen the confusion, I’ve created a list of the top signs that you may be dating a loser. If a guy meets two or more of these criteria, watch out, because he is approaching A-list loserdom.
5. He is into his car more than he is into you (or sports, or beer). Okay, so there is nothing wrong with these activities per se. But when they become obsessions, there might be a problem. When I see grown men decked out with their favorite sports team’s colors, logos or other insignia, I can’t help but think there is something mildly pathetic about it. (See below on clothes.) I’m not alone. Journalist H.L. Mencken, who was in his writing prime in the 1920s through the 50s, called football “the combat of gorillas.” If he cares more about sports on Sunday afternoon than spending some quality time with his girl, ditch him. 4. He refers to his male friends as “Bro.” Language and communication are important . . . both in the context of relationships and among friends. If his other guy friends are referred to as “Bro,” dump him, and do it decidedly. Another marked word is “Son” (used as slang to refer to another, apparently lower-status male). If he uses these terms rarely or at all, it might be time to set up a Match.com profile. 3. He dresses like a douchebag. Don’t let anyone tell you differently: clothes do make the man. And sophisticated clothes are the mark of a sophisticated mind (and personality). Rather than busting out a titled baseball cap or Ed Hardy graphic t-shirt, as do most d-bags, try something different: skinny jeans, faux glasses . . . something. Personal style is more than the clothes; it’s about the personal wearing them, their beliefs and who they are. If a guy dresses like a d-bag, chances are, without second guessing, he’s probably a d-bag. 2. He has an attitude problem. Unlike the more external signs of behavioral signs that you might be dating a loser, #2 is more abstract. The tough guy, I’m-better-than-everyone-else attitude is the true existential mark of a loser. He may be hot, but if his attitude sucks, in the long-term, it’s not going to work. These types of guys usually practice conservative politics and love Ronald Reagan. Watch out. They’ll drag you down, too. 1. He cheated on you . . . and you took him back. On/off relationships are interesting, and they are something I’ve covered in other columns. That said, however, once a relationship falls into the “off” category, keep it there. Although purely antidotal, I’ve heard many stories where the guy has cheated and—for whatever reason (insecurity, fear of being alone, etc.)—she takes him back. Cheating is the ultimate sign of being a loser. Again, if he cheats, send him his walking papers—for good!
Has Opiate Addiction Ruined Your Life? Northeast Family Healthcare Compassionate Medication-Assisted Treatment in Quakertown 1040 South West End Blvd. (Rt. 309)
267-347-4560
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 39
Page 40
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
MUSIC
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
EMPLOYMENT
Seeking Interns Drummer Wanted We are seeking motivated We are looking for drums to interns, seeking college credit complete a 4 piece rock act. We email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462
PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!
Hotel Housekeeping (Comfort Inn Quakertown) now accepting applications for the position of Room Attendant. Trumpet / Bugler Needed is. Weekends are mandatory. No To perform 140 Military funerals calls please. Reply with resume per year. Primarily between or employment applications are Reading and Allentown. available and being accepted at 609-504-9450 hotel front desk 24 hours a day.
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
REAL ESTATE
Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Spacious apartment, just renovated Six rooms, apartment, new kitchen, New decor, all utilities paid, near transportation. $700/month 610-266-7300
AUTOMOTIVE
1999 Honda Civic EX System Included / Clean Title $3,200.00 OBO / Call Or Text 484-268-6400
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
//CLASSIFIEDS
The Valley Beat
2003 Ram 1500 V8 SLT Crew cab short bed 5.9 v8 4x4. Coopersburg- Rooms For Rent It’s fully loaded It has 20 inch RESTAURANT Weekly or Monthly. Cable wheels please call or text 610-653-0453 Utilities and wifi included. BARTENDER Single & Double Occupancy. Roosevelt’s 21st is looking to $80/week and up. hire experienced bartenders. Clean Private. 610-282-8010 1328 West Tilghman St, Allentown, PA 21 East Elizabeth Ave, Bethlehem, PA Send resume or apply in person at either location.
TO PLACE AN AD IN OUR NEW CLASSIFIED SECTION CONTACT US TODAY...
PAGE 41
FREE CLASSIFIEDS FOR A LIMITED TIME. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A FREE OPPORTUNITY!
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
H.C.
Massage
$50
For 1 Hour w/ coupon
Expires 12/31/13
We Are Located At 1410 Main St. Northampton, PA 610-262-9580
avalon Massage by A 724 E. CEDAR ST • ALLENTOWN, PA 18109
MASSAGE 60 MINUTE SESSION FOR $50
SELECTIVELY HIRING!
DECEMBER Open 7 DAYS 10am - 10pm SPECIAL- CALL! 610-437-9505 OPEN DAILY 9:30AM - 9PM offer valid with coupon
• CUTE GIRLS • FREE TABLE SHOWER
LOCATED ACROSS FROM ADULT OUTLET
Page 42
OPEN 7 DAYS 9:30am - 10pm 25min from Bethlehem
#52. RT 611 BARTONSVILLE, PA
570-468-4939
aavalon
E.CEDAR ST
dunkin 0.1mi on donuts Union Blvd
Aavalon is located on the corner of Graham & 724 E. Cedar St
BIG WOODY’S
GRAND OPENING ASIAN BODY MASSAGE
0.1mi from 0.3mi from Union Blvd Hanover Ave GRAHAM
HANOVER AVE
484-554-3047
U N I O N B LV D
LEHIGH VALLEY AIRPORT 2MI
hess express cvs
wawa
AIRPORT RD SOUTH
expires 12/31/2013
BARBIE
484-201-0931 484-201-0931
Welcome to the
BE MESMERIZED BY THE
GIRL!
484-553-8800
ARIES SPA
BODY RUB
3333 HAMILTON BLVD
CLUB
610.820.0210
Lehigh Valley
•Certified Massage Therapist Pocono Locations (Shiatsu, Swedish, Finger Pressure) Private & Discreet •Foot Massage •Facial & Skin Care for Men Open 7 Days
484-294-6900
YOU WILL
$50
2 MILES FROM AIRPORT
413 Union Blvd with coupon EXPIRES 12-10-13 Allentown, PA 18109
610.841.7900
•SAUNA •BODY SHAMPOO •HOT TOWEL HOURS 9am - 11pm OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
10% OFF
WITH COUPON
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
PAGE 43
Things That Are Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You’re Drunk 1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type. 4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I’m not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool! 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side. 10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning. Only In America 1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Page 44
9. Only in America... do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’. 10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.
VIEW DIGITAL ISSUE ONLINE AT THE VALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
JOKES
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
THE LEHIGH VALLEY’S TATTOO PROFESSIONALS FOR OVER 20 YEARS
ARIES SPA 3333 HAMILTON BLVD
610.841.7900
•SAUNA •BODY SHAMPOO •HOT TOWEL HOURS 9am - 11pm OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
WITH COUPON
PAGE 45
$200 ALL YOU CAN SIT TATTOOS
10% OFF
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013 Page 46
AVAILABLE WHEREVER BEER IS SOLD! Please Drink Responsibly
AllentownBeverage.com
ALYSSA M. PARRISH
PHOTOS BY: HARRY CONNOR • PANZINO PHOTOGRAPHY
SEE MORE PHOTOS ONLINE WWW.THEVALLEYBEAT.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT DECEMBER 4, 2013
MODEL BEAT
Age: 21 New Tripoli, PA
Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
PAGE 47
What do you do to make $$? I am the office Mgr. @ A Chiropractic Center & I am a Shot girl & Ring girl. Also Promotional, Print, Film & TV. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Single. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? Facebook, or Contact My Agent: Donatelli Modeling Agency 610-921-0777. Where was your best vacation destination? Disney World. What do you do to relax? Ride my horse or hike with my dog. What sports do you watch the most? Hockey… & Football. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? H20. What happens to be your worst vice? I am very impatient. What is your best feature? My Smile. What TV show do you never miss each week? The Vampire Diaries. What movie would you recommend to our readers? Abduction. I’m a die hard Taylor Lautner fan. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” Travel the world! I would love to go to France, Italy, Australia, and Barcelona. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? I am a HAPPY PERSON. My modeling is going well. Are you a Spender or a Saver? I save up to spend on something nice. What do you sleep in? A T-Shirt. What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? Not Worth Mentioning. What do you want guys to know about sex/relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? I am a Class Act & Expect to be treated like one.
TICKETMASTER DEALS GOING ON
NOW!
速
UP TO 25% OFF! Contact the box office for details.
DECEMBER 12
DECEMBER 7
DECEMBER 14
DECEMBER 28
DECEMBER 19
DECEMBER 27
JOY BEHAR
DECEMBER 31
JANUARY 10
JANUARY 11
FEBRUARY 15
MARCH 29
/THESBEC @THESBEC SANDSEVENTCENTER.COM
BOX OFFICE: 610.297.7400 SBEC-valleybeat-dec 4.indd 1
12/2/13 10:40 AM