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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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COVER: KANSAS PAGE 21 11 LOCAL BEAT
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GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUEISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 151. AUGUST 7 - 13, 2013
Concert listings from many places
10 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 15 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review ALBUM REVIEW 16 Done by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant INTERVIEW 21 KANSAS WLVR’S A.J. Fritz interviews Kansas violinist David Ragsdale INTERVIEW 25 SHINEDOWN Nick Gaskins interviews Barry Kerch of Shinedown 26 ZODIAC Your astrology for the week
12 HOT SHOTS 39 MODEL BEAT 39
36 JOKES & COMICS A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
Welcome to The Valley Beat Newspaper! Lehigh Valley’s Hottest Alternative Newspaper. Distributed at more than 600 locations across the Lehigh Valley, Reading, Upper Bucks County & the Poconos Contact Information: Fax: 484-229-0506 thevalleybeat@gmail.com • valerie@thevalleybeat.com clubinfo@thevalleybeat.com • distribution@thevalleybeat.com classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Please Note: The content in this paper does not necessarly represent the views of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat Bands That Rock, The Valley Beat are registered trademarks of the The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Any content may not be reproduced without permission or written consent of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat - Bands That Rock are a Registered Trademark #3342218 within in the state of Pennsylvania. Any Material submitted becomes the property of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. The Valley Beat reserves the right to refuse advertising or content. The Valley Beat is not liable for any errors discovered, or any changes after an ad has been printed.
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY - BREW NATION
THE REDNECK CHRONICLES
--Pro-nationalism English Defence League activists seemed to be itching for a
--(1) Police in York, Pa., arrested both Karen Harrelson, 48, and Gregory Stambaugh,
street brawl to break up a scheduled anti-nationalist demonstration in downtown
57, in May because they could not figure out which one started the couple’s knife fight
Birmingham, England, on July 18, causing the city to mobilize more than 1,000 police -- when officials arrived at a solution. Police shepherded “hundreds” of
-- over which contestant (Candice or Kree) deserved to win this year’s “American Idol.”
rowdy EDL operatives into the popular Bar Risa pub at 11 a.m., confining them for three hours, until the anti-EDL rally had dissipated. (Given British habits, many EDLers decided to enjoy their confinement with a brew.) As a result, police reported only sporadic street scuffling. (Bar Risa, perturbed by police pressure to host alleged “fascists,” donated its profits to the Midlands Air Ambulance service.)
They had apparently stabbed each other with the same knife. (2) Dewayne Eddy, 54, was charged in Yuba County, Calif., in May with beating his adult daughter with folding lawn chairs and a can of beans after discovering that a bolt was missing in the chicken coop in his yard.
THE WEIRDO AMERICN COMMUNITY
--Ronald Rock, 31, was arrested in Malone, N.Y., in May after surveillance video convinced police that he was the man at a Sears store who told a female stranger that he loved her shoes and wanted to buy a pair for his mother -- and asked if she would take one off to show him. Rock
CULTURAL DIVERSITY
then appeared to stuff the shoe down his pants and masturbate vigorously. (Malone is within 25
returned to the shore of the Yellow Sea sporting their relatively revealing
Hannaford’s pepperoni down his pants for the same purpose -- reported in News of the Weird
--For “beach season” in Qingdao, China, recently, middle-aged ladies
miles of the small town of Massena, which was the site of the man caught on video stuffing the
(though age-appropriate) bathing suits -- but wearing distinctive cloth
seven weeks ago.)
hoods with tiny holes only for the eyes, nose and mouth. To many in Chi-
--In May (before Edward Snowden began releasing his previously classified document cache),
na, dark skin still signals laborers and fair skin the indoor “leisure” class, according to a July report on the business website Quartz.
NEWS THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE
the American Civil Liberties Union released its own attempts to learn some of the same information from the FBI under the Freedom of Information Act. Two of the documents, totaling
--In Shenzhen, China, one of the country’s richest cities, services are
69 pages, were completely “redacted” -- solid black boxes covering the entirety of every page
being openly advertised by “wet nurses” to supply adults with breast
except for page numbers and document title.
milk, either directly from the source or after pumping (and purchased by
-- A June performance-art street demonstration in Glastonbury, England, got out of hand when
either the infirm or just rich people overconcerned with nourishment).
a spectator took offense at one of the characters, who was dressed as a giant penis to promote a
These milk “suppliers” can earn at least four times the average personal income, with healthy, attractive women earning even more, of course, according to a July Agence France-Presse dispatch. Comments on China’s social media ranged from “It’s just a business” to “People become perverts when they are too rich and tire of other forms of entertainment.” --Because Zimbabwe is reputedly among the world’s most corrupt countries, bribery is normal and makes the news only when innovators go above and beyond. The anti-poverty organization Transparency International reported in July that one hospital in Harare had recently been imposing a $5 charge on mothers each time they screamed during childbirth (in addition to the $50 delivery fee). Furthermore, it has long been rumored that hospitals in Zimbabwe (and other countries) may detain mothers and their children at the hospital if they cannot pay the fees. (Transparency International reported several days later, after finally obtaining a meeting with a government official, that the per-scream charge will be lifted.)
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
show by the troupe Nomadic Academy of Fools. The bystander grabbed the penis’ costume, but the penis’ colleague, Joanne Tremarco, who was dressed as a giant vagina, went to his defense, trying to calm the bystander until police arrived.
QUESTIONABLE JUDGEMENTS --Sharon Jobson thought her major grieving was over at the two-year mark after her son had been killed driving into a CN Rail train at a crossing that had not then been updated with safety features. (John Jobson, 22, was speeding and failed to stop, perhaps because of a partially obscured warning sign and a nonstandard train horn.) The government subsequently ordered upgrades, and Sharon decided not to sue, but CN Rail had no such reluctance and filed in July for $500,000 against John’s estate to cover damage to its tracks and the subsequent customer slowdown caused by the collision. (At press time, with grief forced upon her once again, Sharon was re-evaluating litigation.)
LIKE US ON FACEBOOK.COM/THEVALLEYBEAT INEXPLICABLE
--(1) In May, a 24-year-old man accidentally shot a teenage boy in the leg with a high-caliber gun at a home in Santa Fe, Texas, in front of the boy’s mother, whose first reaction was to look up “gunshot” on WebMD -- and then not to take her son to Mainland Medical Center until seven hours later. Deborah Tagle was charged, along with the shooter, for injury to a child. (2)
Carole Longhorn, 66, struck a metal object in her garden in Norfolk, England, in June, and, though it looked like a projectile-bomb, she said she decided to take it inside and wash it off in the sink before calling police (who later detonated the World War II-era munition in a controlled explosion). (Said her husband later: “You can imagine what I said to her.”)
PAGE 5
(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
Download the FREE 2013 Musikfest速 App for iPad速, iPhone速 and iPod touch速
musikfest.org sANDs steeL stAge At PNC PLAZA
Avenged Sevenfold with Mindset Evolution and Fight or Flight
sunday, August 11 sponsored by The Rock Revival, The Valley Beat, Main Line Media News, WZZO and 107 The Bone
PLus 500 free performances, 60 food vendors, 40 different brews and more:
Page 6
Buckwheat Zydeco Here Come the Mummies Igor & Red Elvises Southern Culture on the Skids Trout Fishing in America Gangstagrass The Abrams Brothers The Steel Wheels John Gorka Holly Williams Pearl and the Beard Caravan of Thieves Rick Estrin and The Nightcats The Dustbowl Revival The Guggenheim Grotto Leftover Cuties Lucy Kaplansky Dala M.A.K.U SoundSystem The Amish Outlaws Ball in the House Daylight New Sweden Quiet Company The Wiyos Los Straitjackets Sarah Ayers Band Enter the Haggis Boogie Wonder Band Start Making Sense Mama Jama and more!
BETHLEHEM
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
PAGE 7
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
Sick Puppies, Aug 10 Endless Summerfest, Aug 22-23 Hank III, Sep 4 Twiztid, Sep 6
TICKETS 212-307-7171
TICKETS 610-434-4600
Great White, Aug 13 Bullet Boys, Aug 15 Upstart Fest, Sep 13 Blood on the Dance Floor, Sep 26
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Joe Louis Walker, Aug 9 Forward Motion, Aug 10 The Dustbowl Revival, Aug 15
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791
Thunder from Down Under, Jul 5-Aug 31 Kansas, Aug 11 Jeff Ross, Sep 14
MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 610-332-1300
Styx & Foreigner, Aug 7 KC & The Sunshine Band, Aug 8 Darius Rucker, Aug 9
Drake, Oct 19 Pearl Jam, Oct 21-22
Ke$ha, Aug 10 Avenged Sevenfold, Aug 11
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
Jeff Foxworthy, Sep 28 Daryl Hall & John Oates, Sep 30 Kathy Griffin, Oct 4 Brian Wilson & Jeff Beck Oct 6 Celtic Thunder, Oct 9 A Day To Remember, Oct 12 Paramore, Nov 11
TICKETS 877-686-5366
Matchbox Twenty & The Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 11 Backstreet Boys, Aug, 16 John Mayer, Aug 23 Jason Aldean, Aug 24
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ
TICKETS 212-777-6800 Parachute, Aug 13 Baroness, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 16-17 Lawson, Aug 22
MAIN GATE, Allentown SOVEREIGN CENTER,PAReading, PA TICKETS TICKETS610-898-7200 610-898-7200 SickPuppies, Aug1818 n Manson, Jun
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Bens Summer Bender, Aug 3 This is Hard Core, Aug 8-11 Dropkick Murphy’s, Aug 21 Fall Out Boy, Sep 8 City and Colour, Sep 18
TICKETS 717-534-3911
Matchbox 20 /Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 14
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
Uproar Tour: Alice In Chains / Janes Addicition, Aug 9 Jason Aldean, Aug 25 The Peach Festival, Aug 15-18
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 922-5483 Sizzling Summer Nights, Aug 15 Scott Weiland, Aug 17 DropKick Murphy’s, Aug 21 The Mission UK, Sep 4 Kamelot, Sep 5 Peter Hook & The Light, Sep 14 Flag, Sep 18 Atoms For Peace, Sep 24
1409 N. 9th St
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA Kansas, Aug 11 We The Kings, Aug 14 Slapjaw, Aug 16 Mobb Deep, Aug 24
TICKETS 800-745-3000
REVERB - Reading, PA
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA TICKETS 215-336-3600
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA Jay Leno, Aug 11 Danzig with Doyle, Aug 13 Abba, Aug 15 The Wanted, Aug 24 Gabriel Iglesias, Aug 29 Hanson, Sep 2 Stone Temple Pilots, Sep 4 Russell Brand, Sep 14 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22 Andrew Dice Clay, Sep 24 Steely Dan, Sep 27
Rod Stewart, Dec 9
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA
Black Sabbath, Aug 10 Muse, Sep 9
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
Stroudfest, Aug 31 moe, Sep 29 Misfits, Oct 25
(610) 743-3069 Everytime I Die, Aug 16 Kix, Aug 17 Bam Margera w/ Hed Pe, Aug 23 David Allan Coe, Aug 31 Saxon & Fozzy, Sep 17
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650
Philadelphia Rock & Blues Fest, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 15 Gad Elmaleh, Sep 12 Sinbad, Sep 14
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0371 Ted Nugent, Aug 14 Big Night Out, Aug 23 Live Wire, Sep 6 Josh Turner, Sep 26
AVENGED SEVENFOLD WILL ROCK THE STAGE THIS SUNDAY AT THE MUSIKFEST IN BETHLEHEM
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
(610) 776-7711 Maingate Nightclub 448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA PAGE 9
Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Call 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524
Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 8/9 The Speed Kings 8/10 A.L.C.B Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment
BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 Clam Bake Coming!
BETHLEHEM
Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 Stratus Night Club 8/7 Brother Duddy 1193 Airport Road 8/8 Damn Dirty Apes 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke 8/9 Trouble City Allstars 8/10 Strt Making Sense 8/11 DJ Discreet Strange Brew Tavern 8/12 Open Mic Nite 1996 S. Fifth St 8/13 Nick Cerniglia 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Diamondz Sunday: Open mic 1913 W Broad St 8/8 Fahad & Kelly Bethlehem, Pa 18018 8/9 Bootleg Express 610 865 1028 8/10 James Supra Monday: Jukebox Band Thursday: Karaoke Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St Karaoke Sunday: Karaoke (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Bethlehem Brew Live Entertainment Works Tim Harakal / Billy 569 Main St Patrick / Strange 610-882-1300 Coincidence & More 8/23 Summerfest 2 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center Jetport Lounge 77 Sands Boulevard 3400 Airport Rd. 610-297-7410 Allentown, Pa 8/9 ADD 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am 8/10 DJ Cap Cee DJ Jimmy K Tally Ho Fridays: Mike Mitman 205 W. Fourth St 610-865-2591
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 8/7 DJ Johnny B 8/8 My Hero Zero 8/9 The Exceptions 8/10 DJ Tom Taylor 8/11 Jimmy & Parrots 8/12 Mr. Echo 8/13 Tower Suite
DJ Tom Taylor 8/10 Molten Lounge Bethlehem, PA
Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Zee
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 8/27 August Ramble
CATASAQUA
UUU 8/9 Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010 Thursdays: Pool Tournament 8pm & Karaoke w/ DJ Shocker 9:30pm
Musikfest @ Roosevelt’s - Allentown & Bethlehem, PA
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 8/7 G & Steve Exp 8/10 The Gearharts
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ 8/23 Luau Party Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 9/14 Skate Jam Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 8/7 Open Mic 8/8 Dan DeChellis 8/9 The Great Socio 8/10 Mariko Marimoto
James Supra Band 8/10 Strange Brew Allentown, PA
MORE ON PAGE 26
Page 10
Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
Musikfest Musings and other
fest-idiousness
THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT BEAT AUGUST JULY 31, 7, 2013 THE 2013
by: Mitch
(including Eric Steckel’s homecoming) They say too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Where Musikfest is concerned, I beg to differ. There’s just something about traipsing around a cordoned-off Main Street in downtown Bethlehem with the heavenly aromas of various festival foods wafting through the neighborhood and beer stands aplenty beckoning me to refill my Musikfest mug. I knew it was going to be a good night for Festing on Friday when I scored a major coup; I found a decent parking spot right across from the OBT on Union Boulevard about three blocks from my Main Street destination. When I snag a primo spot like that, I like to milk it for all it’s worth. I returned to my parked car about an hour after arriving and feigned leaving by opening the driver’s side door to retrieve my cell phone which had been charging. Frazzled motorists searching in vain for free parking jockeyed for position as they thought they had scored the same coup. Not so fast, Buckos! I’m just grabbing my phone! I gained a small measure of morbid satisfaction knowing that their fruitless search for free parking would continue on into the evening. Isn’t that horrible of me? Back up the hill on Main Street, the crowd began to swell. Middle-schoolers participated in their annual, late summer rite of passage of blocking all walking thoroughfares by congregating in clusters in the middle of Main Street and along the sidewalks. Sometimes I think they also derive sick pleasure from seeing Festers like me trying to run the gauntlet of humanity that is Main Street during Musikfest. An oasis and respite amid the chaos of Main Street is the Sun Inn Courtyard where the Liederplatz stage is set up. It’s one of my favorite spots for Festing and I arrived early enough to snag a great seat. Cloudy skies turned blue, a pleasant breeze carrying all those aromas caused the tree branches to sway, beer lines were practically non-existent and The Lou Franco Project was scheduled to play two sets of classic rock to kick things off for the 30th renewal of Musikfest. I saw many familiar faces, renewed some old acquaintances, was treated to two hours of stellar music and enjoyed a few mugs of cold beer. All was right with the world. Then the heavenly scents turned rancid as the ill-timed but obligatory arrival of a cigar chain smoker who, probably sensing my feelings of disdain and disgust, parked his smelly carcass right next to me and made sure to share his toxic fumes with all around. Obviously, this was my penance for faking out desperate would-be car parkers on a futile hunt for meterless, tow-away zoneless parking spots. Karma’s a bitch and I bit the bullet but I’m sure this obnoxious stogie puffer was also deriving some sick pleasure at being allowed to spread noxious clouds of stench amongst the festive throng at Liederplatz. There needs to be a designated spot for that kind of activity.
Eric Steckel rocking Americaplatz at Levitt Pavilion - Steel Stacks
year and has also recently played the Sellersville Theater, I had not seen him perform since he was a teenager at the now-defunct Bluetone Café in Easton. He was pretty good back then and in that ten year period, has only gotten better. His performance at Americaplatz at the Levitt Pavilion was stunning. He’s got great tones with amazing dexterity and can rip it up with the best of them. Anyone and everyone who happened to be at Steel Stacks Friday night and walked by Levitt Pavilion had to stop, look and listen. Steckel, now 23, was able to appeal to a varied crosssection of music lovers. You will be astounded by Steckel’s level of talent and high degree of musicianship.
He plays the blues but with a hard rock edge and his guitar solos can mesmerize and transfix an audience. He’s taking his guitar across the pond for an extended European tour that begins tomorrow in Italy. When he returns, I’ll make sure to catch his act whenever possible. He’ll be winning over new legions of fans abroad and he’s absolutely made one right here in the Lehigh Valley. Tonight, I continue to get too much of a good thing as Styx and Foreigner play a sold-out show at the Sands Steel Stage. If you’re heading to the show, make sure to swing by Hawkplatz right outside the venue and say hello!
PANTONE 485 CVU
Although Steckel makes the annual pilgrimage back to Bethlehem for Musikfest each
PANTONE Process Yellow CVU PANTONE Reflex Blue C PANTONE 1395 CVC
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last eleven years! Tune in weeknights for Classic Rock of the 70’s, 80’s and more! Listen Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
PAGE 11 11 PAGE
Having completed my activities on the north side of town, I joined up with my fellow radio buds, Dan Donatelli and A.J. Fritz, at Steel Stacks for the awe-inspiring, jawdropping talent of blues rocker and Bethlehem native, Eric Steckel.
Page 12
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
ENTER TO WIN A COORS LIGHT REFRESHERATOR.
BACK TO SCHOOL! AUGUST 29TH
10PM STOOGES 11:30PM ROOSEVELTS 21ST ALLENTOWN 9PM MACGRADYS 10PM SOTTO SANTI 11PM LEONS 12AM ROOSEVELTS 21ST BETHLEHEM
FRIDAY AUGUST 9TH 5-7PM RASCALS COORS LIGHT HAPPY HOUR! $2 BOTTLES!!
FEATURES Hops at The Paddock Macgradys
Friday $2 Pints $7 Pitchers All Day Everyday
Stooges
Saturday $1.75 Pints
Roosevelts 21st Bethlehem
$1.99 Drafts All Day Everyday
Drinkys
$1.50 Drafts All Day Everyday
The Gin Mill & Grille 1760 Pub & Grille
Saturday $6 pitchers $3 20oz Drafts
Krocks Pub
$2 Drafts All Day Everyday
Pj Whelihans Bethlehem
Saturday $2.50 Drafts & Bottles
Keystone Pub Whitehall
$2.50 Drafts All Day Everyday
Sotto Santi
$2.50 Drafts All Day Everyday
The Valley Coors Girls
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
LIFT ME UP W/ ROB HALFORD FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN &
THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL, VOL 1
OUT OF TIME W/ CHESTER BENNINGTON
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
TRENCHES
POP EVIL ONYX
HAIL TO THE KING
PLOT: In the year 2154, the wealthy have made a new home on a spectacular space-station called Elysium. There, the very, very rich can live a carefree life, in addition to one free of any health concerns, as each home is equipped with technology that can cure any disease, or heal any wound. Those who are left on Earth aren’t so lucky. When an ex-con, Max DeCosta (Matt Damon) is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation, and given only five days to live, he dons a metal exoskeleton, and takes on a dangerous mission to hack his brain into one of the colony’s most prominent citizens, allowing him to access their life-saving technology. REVIEW: ELYSIUM is director Neill Blomkamp’s long-awaited follow-up to his massively successful sleeper hit DISTRICT 9. Now playing with a rumored $90 million budget (modest for a summer tent-pole), despite the larger scale Blomkamp’s latest is just as uncompromising and imaginative as his first film, and a defiantly R-rated throwback to the sci-fi blockbusters of my youth, such as ALIENS, ROBOCOP and the original (i.e-good) TOTAL RECALL
AVENGED SEVENFOLD HAIL TO THE KING
HOWL
BEWARE OF DARKNESS ORTHODOX
CAME BACK HAUNTED NINE INCH NAILS
HESITATION MARKS
SWERVE CITY
DEFTONES
KOI NO YOKAN
THE HANGMAN’S BODY COUNT VOLBEAT OUTLAW GENTLEMEN & SHADY LADIES
THERE’S NO GOING BACK SICK PUPPIES CONNECT
MIND YOUR MANNERS PEARL JAM
LIGHTNING BOLT
Despite taking place 140 years into the future, the earth of ELYSIUM isn’t that different from how it is now, only more run-down, and desperate, having been ravaged in every way possible, whether economically or environmentally. Mostly taking place in a future Los Angeles (with Mexico City filling in) ELYSIUM is like CITY OF GOD meets TOTAL RECALL. Matt Damon, sporting a shaved head, plays the everyman hero. Max DeCosta is definitely no Jason Bourne, and like Wikus in DISTRICT 9, he’s initially selfish, with his only goal being to survive, and everything else being secondary. This makes Damon a believable, intense hero, with a total absence of action hero posturing, and his numerous exo-suited battles and gunfights having a desperate intensity. Damon makes for an ideal hero, with his physicality suiting the action scenes, but also bringing an emotional charge to the film that we might not have gotten otherwise. Action heroes these days tend to be stoic. Here, Damon’s Max is terrified of dying, and just wants to survive. By contrast, we have Sharlto Copley, the hero of DISTRICT 9, playing the sadistic villain, a mercenary working covertly for the bureaucracy of Elysium (represented by Jodie Foster’s futuristic, and cold-blooded aristocrat), less for financial gain, and more simply for the joy of inflicting pain. Copley is both chilling, and often darkly humorous, and while he unapologetically chews he scenery, it really suits the part and he plays off Damon very well. As for the spectacle, in that area ELYSIUM certainly doesn’t disappoint. Just like DISTRICT 9, Blomkamp’s loaded the film with spectacular, imaginatively captured action set pieces, including a few really good shoot-outs making use of some unconventional, futuristic weaponry. While the editing is a little more chaotic than DISTRICT 9, for the most part it’s also easy to discern, and the lack of 3D feels refreshing. Suffice to say, Neill Blomkamp does not disappoint with ELYSIUM, with it being one of the most unique, and satisfying experiences I’ve had at in theaters all year. It’s badass, thrilling, often darkly fun, and extremely heartfelt. Most importantly, it’s also the rare blockbuster that will make you think, and a film I expect many of us will be revisiting over and over again in the years to come.
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By Chris Bumbray
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013 Page 16
ALBUM REVIEW
As a kid you were probably told to never judge a book by its cover. For some, this idiom might have stuck, yet for others, they will always have preconceived notions about certain things. I am no saint; I have judged things before without finding out adequate information to change my preconception. This was definitely the case when I first heard the name Five Finger Death Punch. I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me, who would name a band something so stupid?” I know the name was derived from classic martial arts films, but it still sounded very contrived to me. Then I began to learn a little more about them. Five Finger Death Punch was formed in 2005 by former U.P.O. bassist Zoltan Bathory and drummer Jeremy Spencer. In addition to Bathory being a kick ass bassist, he’s also a highly skilled Judo and Jiu Jistu practitioner and is also one of the few civilians certified by the Pentagon and The US Army as an L1 Modern Army Combatives Instructor - Close Quarter Combat. In 2006, Matt Snell joined the band to play bass, moving Bathory to lead guitar. Later that year, the trio recruited former Motograter vocalist Ivan Moody to complete the line up. That very same year they recorded and produced their debut album, The Way of the Fist, which was released in July 2007. The album was certified gold in 2011. The band went on to release two more certified gold albums, War Is the Answer and American Capitalist. After a few line up changes, the latest incarnation of Five Finger Death Punch consisting of vocalist Ivan Moody, Zoltan Bathory on rhythm guitar, Jason Hook on lead, Chris Kael on bass and drummer Jeremy Spencer, is what you hear on their new album; The Wrong Side of Heaven and The Righteous Side of Hell, Volume 1. There is definitely an underlying theme to this album, and it’s that Ivan Moody is angry and has no qualms about expressing it in every song. Though it does get a little repetitive at times, the inclusion of many guest vocalists helps to diversify. Though I can’t imagine buying the edited version, with every other word being f*ck, you would be left with just instrumentals. All kidding aside, the album kicks off with the first single, “Lift Me Up,” which features legendary Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford. This song kicks ass, plain and simple. And that is why it’s the
By: Scotty Brilliant
most requested song on The Bone. “Watch You Bleed” gets the blood pumping, no pun intended. “You” has a Static-X feel to it, with Moody screaming the words, “You are just in my way / I don’t give a f*ck about you.” The song then transitions into one of the most brutal breakdowns on the album. “Wrong Side of Heaven” and “M.I.N.E. (End This Way)” are the two ballads with both sounding very similar to one of the band’s earlier hits, “Never Enough.” “Anywhere But Here” features the very hot In This Moment frontwoman, Maria Brink. There are two versions of the song on the album, with the second version being a duet between Moody and Brink. I prefer the second version because Brink sings more on it and she is a nice compliment Moody’s guttural vocals. The one track the band could have left off the album was their cover off LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out.” Though I give them props for creativity, it just really doesn’t fit.
It was almost laughable. If you’re a fan of the song, listen to the original. “Diary of a Deadman” caps off the album (with the exception of the bonus tracks). Moody’s spoken word verse combined with Bathory’s relentless metal guitar groove makes this the perfect ending to a very in-your-face, blood spitting, fist pounding album. Crank It The entire album is crank-worthy Skip It Mama Said Knock You Out M.I.N.E. (End This Way) Though the band catches a lot of flack in the metal community for being too commercialized, they have a formula that’s been proven to work for them. With three certified gold albums, and a fourth probably on it’s way to becoming gold, it’s not hard to justify the popularity of these guys. They will continue to write what works and ultimately what sells. So if you’ve never liked Five Finger Death Punch, then you probably never will, and I’m sure Ivan Moody doesn’t really give a f*ck!
Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
NOW
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4 E. 4th St • BETHLEHEM, PA • 610-868-1313
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ICE - COLD PITCHERS - ALL DAY EVERYDAY
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COORS LIGHT / LABATT / BLUE MOON SAM ADAMS & ANGRY ORCHARD
NIGHTLY ENTERTAINMENT
Trivia Thursdays 8 - 10pm $50 - 1st Place $25 - 2nd Place PAGE 17
Wednesdays - Trivia Night Thursdays - DJ Thursday starting at 10PM Every Friday & Saturday - Live Acoustic Music
Monday - Friday 4 - 6pm $6 Absolut Vodka Martini Happy Hour
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
R STON
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1Annual
Cornerstone Pub Inc.
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Benefit for
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September 14th 12 noon until ?
DJ Cobra, Free Food, Coor’s Light Girls! Come out and support local active duty and retired veterans!
www.lv-mac.org
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EVERY MONDAY STOP IN EVERY STEAMED CLAMS THURSDAY 2 DOZ / $3.98 20¢ WINGS FRI 6/28 - 9PM - 12AM FROM 12 - 10PM FROM 12 - 10PM
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No cover with Musikfest ticket
FRIDAY, AUGUST 9
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DJ CaP Cee
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FRIDAY, AUGUST 16
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SATURDAY, AUGUST 24
SATURDAY, AUGUST 31
Miller lite proMo Night
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10pm – 2am • $10 Cover Charge Dress to impress
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
5 mug refills Premier entertainment Thursday and Friday nighTs COMING TO vision Bar during MusikFesT!
World Class DJs spinning the hottest dance music
Join us Before and after every show at the sands Bethlehem event Center! /VISIONBARPA
@VISIONBARPA PAGE 19
VISIONBARPA.COM
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
BY: A.J. FRITZ
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
\\ Haircuts \\ Colors \\ Nails \\ Facial
Waxing
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128 WEST 4TH ST. BETHLEHEM|610-849-2011|ALISTSALONSPA.COM
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES
6. Grown Ups 2 7. Turbo 8. Red 2 9. The Heat 10. Pacific Rim
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
August 16th, 2013
REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800 READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828
NEW DVD RELEASES
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6. West of Memphis 7. Aftershock 8. Antiviral 9. Community: Season 4 10. The Sapphires
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1. 2 Guns 2. The Wolverine 3. The Smurfs 2 4. The Conjuring 5. Despicable Me 2
Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox
REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/
REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 60¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
CLAM NIGHT se Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.50 Dozen Clams
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
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400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Thursday Aug 8 – Fahad & Kelly Friday Aug 9 – Bootleg Express Saturday Aug 10 – James Supra Band
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
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WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
BY: NICK GASKINS
it will be nice to see what they can do out there. We’ve known the guys in Papa Roach, Skillet, and In This Moment for years. Q) Playing massive shows like this across the country over a couple months has to be exhausting. How do you personally wind down after a show? A) Honestly man at this point in the game I’m 37, after a two hour show, meet and greets, and signings for two hundred people I just like to enjoy a cold beer and pass out (laughs) Q) It is well known that some bands have particular ways they prepare themselves for a show. Does Shinedown have any cool pregame rituals before they take the stage? A) We are actually a very superstitious band, and we do have a little ritual we do before every show. It’s called “Doo doo time” and no it’s not what you think. It is something our old lighting guy Scott Allee started that we turned into our pre-show thing. Every show, an hour before it starts the whole crew gets together in a back and we all grab a beer. Then we count down and shout “Doo Doo Doo” then everybody has to finish their beer before they leave the room. It’s a fun way to psych up the guys before we head out. “Carnival of Madness is more than a show-it’s an experience,” declares Shinedown frontman Brent Smith. “This year, it’s all about reinvention. The culmination of five powerful and dynamic bands joining together to prove to the world that rock-nroll is alive and well. So, step right up. Come one, come all. The Carnival of Madness has arrived!”
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MT. POCONO, PA- Prepare yourselves, the Carnival of Madness Tour is making its annual return to PA on August 14th, the third stop on its seventeen-day path of destruction. Accompanied by Papa Roach, Skillet, In This Moment, and We As Human, the Platinum-selling rock band Shinedown is making their triumphant return to the tour that drummer Barry Kerch described as their first major tour. “It’s like returning to a good place in our lives.” beamed Kerch. “It’s one big family reunion for us as bands.” We sat down with Kerch, who alongside vocalist Brent Smith is the only remaining member from Shinedown’s original lineup back in 2001. With the first date of the Carnival of Madness Tour less than two weeks away we wanted to see how Barry and the boys felt about returning to the big show, and what life is like on the road: Q) You guys performed at the first ever Carnival of Madness tour back in 2010. As Veterans of the tour what do you look forward to the most, and what do you think will be different from the last time?
A) Headlining the first Carnival of Madness was huge for us; it was like our first major show. We look forward to coming back to that energy, from the fans, from the other bands, just everything. As far what will be different, this production will be way bigger than last time in terms of pyro and effects, and it will be even more carnival themed. Over two months of prep went into this thing so you can expect one hell of a show. We’ve also got a bunch of surprises in store that I’d rather not give away here (chuckles). Q) We know you guys obviously will be playing a lot of material off of your most recent album Amaryllis, but will you be playing any old favorites from your previous albums? How is the ratio of old songs to new ones in the set list for a typical show? A) “Absolutely we want to give our fans what they want. I mean we have so much material at this point that even at a show as large as this one we won’t be able to make it through all of our hits. Of course we’ll be playing songs like “Simple Man” and “Save Me”. We just can’t have too many ballads in the set; we don’t want to slow down the energy of the show. I’d say it’s a good mix of both old and new material. Q) You guys have toured with plenty of great artists over the last decade. What artist do you look forward to touring with the most on the Carnival of Madness tour? A) Wow that’s a tough one. Like I said this is one big family reunion for a lot of us, we have a lot of respect for everybody on the tour. I’m personally looking forward to meeting We As Human, they are a younger band and
THE VALLEY THE VALLEY BEATBEAT JULYAUGUST 31, 20137, 2013
INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN KERCH OF SHINEDOWN
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
ZODIAC
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) Doors swing wide open for you around Wednesday and Thursday. Opportunity’s knocking -- so greet it with a smile (and more, if it’s of the romantic variety!). Friday or Saturday could involve issues surrounding who’s in charge. Are you ready to negotiate when it comes to a certain situation or relationship? Then, on Sunday, you’re much more likely to see eye-to-eye with this person -and it looks nice. The golden rule is in full effect as the week gets under way: Respond to others with the thought and care you’d like them to use with you. The good karma you accrue is priceless.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) The stars call on you to check your priorities now. What’s most important? Be conscious about such choices -- you’ll have a stellar opportunity to explore them more around Wednesday and Thursday. And if you’ve got a chance to explore vis-a-vis a certain someone, it looks like now’s the time. (Get them in on it!) Then, on Friday or Saturday, an old issue or a person from your past may resurface. By Sunday, though, it’s all about fresh stuff -- especially in your love life!
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) Slow down midweek, though, because you may be a TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) bit gaffe-prone and too easily tripped up by words. It’s Your subconscious mind is active, and a little mischiea good time to play it safe, whether you’re involved or vous, in the middle half of the week, and you may find that some things you believe for sure turn out to be only looking for love. No matter what, you need to make the first move this weekend -- you’re pretty much as smooth half true. Your sweetie or crush turns out to know a lot as silk and should be able to lay down some unbelievmore than you thought about something big over the weekend. You are thinking about long-term commitments able sweetness! Your personal energy is incredible on on Monday -- even if you just started dating, or are very Monday, and you should be able to attract a new sweetie single! There’s nothing wrong with thinking about it, or convince your current flame to do almost anything and if the circumstances are right, you may want to open within reason. Live large! negotiations. SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) You’re ready to let some good times roll around Wednesday and Thursday, an extra set of hands and Wednesday and Thursday, when friends and maybe a eyeballs (and the extra perspective that comes with them) sweet surprise or two are in the stars. Your personal makes projects (or even play) much better. Say howdy, style shines, and it keeps on shining through the weekpartner! Be sure to be explicit about plans, ideas and end. That imagination of yours is working overtime feelings from Friday through the weekend -- and get on some hot stuff! Somebody loves your way with those around you to do the same. Draw them out with your winning, persuasive ways. Sunday can bring a big- (warm, witty) words now, too. Introduce a new idea into time breakthrough! It looks like you’re sticking to your the mix on Sunday for some interesting results. Give guns as the week gets going, and you’ve got the smarts to yourself time to puzzle through something at the start make an insightful argument for your point of view, too. of the week. Whether it’s a work issue or something more personal, you can come up with an unusual (and A logical approach works wonders. unusually good) solution.
CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) Take a one-for-you, one-for-me approach; your attention to helping others and also helping yourself makes everybody feel good, whether at work or in your personal life. Then heads up! Something you see or hear from Friday through the weekend helps you take a step in a slightly different, much better direction -- perhaps in an important relationship (or one that’s becoming important!).Take a deep breath and another look as the week begins -- if you don’t, you risk taking something personally when you shouldn’t. (Also, be sure to pause before you make any agreements final.)
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LEO (7/23 - 8/22) Your heart’s definitely got something to say around Wednesday and Thursday, and before you know it, you might just be blurting it out. Good for you! You’re hot, so make some stuff happen. Then, from Friday through the weekend, it looks like something (or someone) is really sparking your enthusiasm. Just be sure to allow some space for natural growth and evolution. You might be getting lots of input as the week gets going, and, sure, you’ll want to consider it all. Just remember that the most important feedback will likely come from within. Don’t neglect your best instincts! VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) You might want to loosen those plans up -- or set them aside altogether -- around Wednesday and Thursday. A looser approach, as well as an open heart and mind, allow room in your world for the expansion the stars favor now. Let it grow. From Friday through the weekend, it just might be your love life that’s flourishing gorgeously. Make it happen, hot stuff! Getting stuff done -- and lots of it! -- is likely priority-one for you as the week begins. Just make sure pertinent people are on board with your plans, or else conflicts are in the cards.
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) Speaking of dreams, those who think you’re all about the nitty-gritty may be surprised by your philosophical (or romantic!) side around Wednesday and Thursday. Your personal vibe gets even better on Friday and Saturday -- you’re all charged up, and it’s the magnetic kind, with you attracting all kinds of positive attention. Enjoy! On Sunday, stick with what’s working. A little prep time is a big help as the week starts moving. Get your work agenda and your social calendar all lined up, and choose a goal, hope or dream to keep at the forefront of your mind. AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) New people are important midweek, either as potential sweeties or as folks who can help you infuse some new social energy into your relationship. In either case, you’re excited by the new possibilities! Life starts to get really confusing this weekend, and that goes doubly for your romantic side. You feel totally exposed on Monday, and ought to embrace the feeling, even if it is uncomfortable. That should only lead to greater intimacy, whether or not you think you’re ready for it! PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) An open mind and a little caution don’t have to be mutually exclusive, and you’ll want both working for you around Wednesday and Thursday. Keep those cues you’re picking up on in your back pocket for later -- like Friday or Saturday, when you’re down to Earth and ready for action. Consider taking the lead now (you’ll look great up there!). Then, on Sunday, exploring’s as much (or more) fun than simple forward motion. Look around you!
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON
The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Argus, Freedoms Reign, Sinister Realm, Mindmaze & Infernal Opera - Doors 7Pm Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Thursdays: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik
MACUNGIE
The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 8/10 Common Bond
OREFIELD
Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 8/9 End Zone 8/10 Appalachian Gypsie Tribe
CLINTON, NJ
Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 8/9 Peace Creeps 8/10 Rivals w/ Cold Roses 8/11 Cold Roses w/ Rivals Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 8/9 Michael Kracht 8/10 Keith Garner
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 9/4 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 8/8 Chelsea Carlson 8/9 The Current 8/10 The Boiled Owls 8/11 The Pocono Duo 8/13 Regina Sayles
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check Out The Talented Regina Sayles this Tuesday at the Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
MUSIC
Drummer Wanted We are looking for drums to complete a 4 piece rock act. We have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
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Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
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Coopersburg- Rooms For Rent Weekly or Monthly. Cable Utilities and wifi included. BARTENDER Single & Double Occupancy. Roosevelt’s 21st is looking to $80/week and up. hire experienced bartenders. Clean Private. 610-282-8010 1328 West Tilghman St, Allentown, PA 21 East Elizabeth Ave, Bethlehem, PA Send resume or apply in person at either location.
2000 CHEVROLET MONTE CARLO 3.8L 6CYL, AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, 133,000 MILES ,TWO TONED LEATHER, RUNS GREAT ! MOONROOF, AC/CD POWER WINDOWS, POWER LOCKS,$5,600.00 / 267-251-4997 (Montgomery County)
Hotel Housekeeping (Comfort Inn Quakertown) now accepting applications for Trumpet / Bugler Needed the position of Room Attendant. To perform 140 Military funerals is. Weekends are mandatory. No per year. Primarily between calls please. Reply with resume Reading and Allentown. or employment applications are 609-504-9450 available and being accepted at hotel front desk 24 hours a day.
RESTAURANT
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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Cash Paid For Your Vehicle We Buy Unwanted Vehicles Cash Paid. Must Run 484 788 9019
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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Best Auto Replies This is a compilation of some of the best out of office Automatic email replies... I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve. Is it Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples... Tires Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. Hot Air Balloons Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. Sponges These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. Web Pages Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
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Hourglass An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. The Remote Control Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying...
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
JOKES
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013 Page 38
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 7, 2013
MODEL BEAT
Age: 21 Bethlehem, PA What do you do to make $$? Waitress, Film, TV & Promotional Model. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Single. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? Contact My Agent: Randy@DonatelliModels.Com. 610-921-5582-- Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination? Cayman Islands. What do you do to relax? Bubble Bath, Candles & the Gym. What sports do you watch the most? Gymnastics & Running Sports. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? H20. What happens to be your worst vice? Cell Phone Junkie. What is your best feature? Smile, Personality & CURVES. What TV show do you never miss each week? Friends. What movie would you recommend to our readers? The Notebook. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” Swimming with the Dolphins. Are you a Spender or a Saver? Both. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? Taking my Modeling to a serious Level. What do you sleep in? Depends on my Mood & sometimes commando. What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? Your outfit would Great on my Bed Room Floor. What do you want guys to know about sex/ relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? I am my own person (Respect)
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Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
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