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GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT 10 TOP SPINS & MOVIE REVIEW
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE ISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 135. APRIL 17 - 23, 2013
Concert listings from many places
Gina Crash from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
14 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
15 Done ALBUM REVIEW by The Bone’s - Gina Crash
17 MARTIN TOWER 21 ZODIAC
Tyler Drake looks at inevitable demise of a local landmark
Your astrology for the week
24 JOKES & COMICS
12 HOT SHOTS 31 MODEL BEAT 31
A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY: UNDOCUMENTED LIVING
POLICE REPORTS
Undocumented immigrant Jose Munoz, 25, believed himself an ideal candidate for President Obama’s 2012 safe-harbor initiative for illegal-entry children, in that he had been brought to the U.S. by his undocumented parents before age 16, had no criminal record and had graduated from high school (with honors, even). Since then, however, he had remained at home in Sheboygan, Wis., assisting his family, doing odd jobs and, admittedly, just playing video games and “vegging.” Living “in the shadows,” he found it almost impossible to prove the final legal criterion: that he had lived continuously in the U.S. since graduation (using government records, payroll sheets, utility bills, etc.). After initial failures to convince immigration officials, reported the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel in March, Munoz’s lawyer succeeded -- by submitting Munoz’s Xbox Live records, documenting that his computer’s Wisconsin location had been accessing video games, day after day, for years.
--In some jurisdictions, a driver can be presumed impaired with a blood alcohol read-
GOVERMENT IN ACTION! --Among the lingering costs of U.S. wars are disability payments and compensation to veterans’ families, which can continue decades after hostilities end. An Associated Press analysis of federal payment records, released in March, even found two current recipients of Civil War benefits. Vietnam war payments are still about $22 billion a year, World War II, $5 billion, World War I, $20 million, and the 1898 Spanish-American war, about $1,700. --Each year, Oklahoma is among the states to receive $150,000 federal grants to operate small, isolated airfields (for Oklahoma, one in the southern part of the state is so seldom used that it is primarily a restroom stop for passing pilots). The payments are from a 13-year- old congressional fund for about 80 similar airfields (no traffic, no planes kept on site), described by a February Washington Post investigation as “ATM(s) shaped like (airports).” Congress no longer even requires that the annual grants be spent on the actual airports drawing the grants. --During the massive February Southern California manhunt for former Los Angeles cop Christopher Dorner, nervous-triggered LAPD officers riddled an SUV with bullets after mistakenly believing Dorner was inside. Instead there were two women, on their early-morning job as newspaper carriers, and LAPD Chief Charlie Beck famously promised them a new truck and arranged with a local dealership for a 2013 Ford F-150 ($32,560). However, the deal fell through in March when the women discovered that Beck’s “free” truck was hardly free. Rather, it would be taxable as a “donation,” reported on IRS Form 1099, perhaps costing them thousands of dollars.
a WMAQ-TV investigation in February, some suburban Chicago police forces allow officers to work with their own personal readings as high as .05. (While officers may be barred from driving at that level, they may not, by police union contract, face any discipline if they show up for work with a reading that high.) --From the Blotter: (1) Arlington County, Va., police reported in February that a resident of Carlin Springs Road told officers that someone entered her home and stole chicken from her simmering crock pot -- but only the chicken, leaving the vegetables as they were. The report noted that they had no suspects. (2) Prison guard Alfredo Malespini III, 31, faces several charges in Bradford, Pa., resulting from a marital dispute in March, when, presumably to make a point, he tried to remove his wedding ring by shooting it off. (The ring remained in place; his finger was mangled.)
FETISHES ON PARADE --Serving Pediphiles: In March, a 19-year-old New York University student described to the New York Post her one-night experience last year as a foot-fetish prostitute at a spa in which men paid a $100 entrance fee plus $20 for each 10 minutes of fondling and kissing young women’s feet. She said the men wore business suits, which they kept on the whole time, and that the dressed-up women had to first pass a strict foot examination by the “pimp,” seeking candidates with the desired “high arches and small feet.” She guessed that more than two dozen men patronized the spa during her shift and that she earned $200, including tips.
PERSPECTIVE Some Third-Worlders eat dirt because they are mentally ill or have no meaningful food. However, diners at Tokyo’s upscale Ne Quittez Pas eat it because it is a trendy dish prepared by prominent chef Toshio Tanabe. Among his courses are soil soup served with a flake of dirty truffle, soil sorbet and the “soil surprise” (a dirt-covered potato ball). (Spoiler alert: It has a truffle center.) Tanabe lightly precooks his dirt and runs it through a sieve to eliminate the crunchiness.
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READERS CHOICE
--(1) In March, Jose Martinez pocketed an $8,000 settlement with California’s Disneyland after he was stranded on a broken It’s a Small World ride for a half-hour in 2009. Because Martinez is disabled, he could not easily be rescued and was forced, he said, to listen to the “It’s a Small World” song on an endless loop until help arrived. (2) A woman and her son doing yard work at their home in Texarkana, Texas, in March “cleverly” dealt with a menacing snake by dousing it with gasoline and setting it afire, but of course it slithered away -- under brush next to their house. Moments later, according to an Associated Press dispatch, the home caught fire and burned down, and their neighbor’s house was heavily damaged.
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
ing as low as .07 (and suggestively impaired at a reading below that), but according to
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 50¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
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Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.00 Dozen Clams
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.00 Dozen Clams 5pm-11pm
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
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Fri APR 19 – Christopher Dean Band Sat Apr 13 – Neon Fusion
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
TRIVIA NIGHT
400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Entertainment This Week:
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
5pm-10pm
STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE
610-841-3610
Sunday – Open Mic Night
CLAM NIGHT
&
www.strangebrewtavern.co
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews
5pm-11pm
$7 Sandwiches
24 Taps
Cheesesteaks
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
strangebrew610
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713 Pop Evil, Apr 20 Launch Music Conference, Apr 26 Trapt, May 2 Captured by Robots, May 12
TICKETS 212-307-7171 Alex Sensation, May 10 The Killers, May 14 Rod Stewart, Dec 9
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600 Spose, Apr 17 Ganstagrass, Apr 26 Millionaires, Apr 28 Bullet Boys, Aug 15
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ TICKETS 877-686-5366
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249
Toby Keith & Kip Moore, Jun 22 Jimmy Buffet, Jun 25 Dave Matthews Band, Jun 28-29 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 12
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY TICKETS 212-777-6800
Willy Porter, Apr 19 Paula Cole, Apr 20 Aimee Mann, Apr 27
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA
Metal Alliance Tour w/ Anthrax, Apr 20-21 Steel Panther, Apr 23 Yngwie Malmstein, Apr 30 Johnny Marr, May 2
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA
Korn, May 23 BuckCherry, May 24 Wayne Newton, Apr 20 Weird Al Yankovic, Jun 4 Goo Goo Dolls, Apr 21 Billy Idol, Jun 9 Steve Earl, Apr 26 Willie Nelson, Jun 16 The Machine Pink Floyd Trib, Apr 27 Rock of Ages, Jun 10 Alabama, May 2 Dwight Yoakam, Jul 3 Alice in Chains, May 7 Michael McDonald, Jul 7 Boz Scaggs, May 10 Los Lobos, Jul 10 Brian Regan, May 12 Tony Bennett, Jul 26 Paul Anka, May 18 Gabriel Iglesias, Aug 29 Motley Crue, May 20 -21 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22 Chicago, May 22 Jeff Foxworthy, Sept 28
TICKETS 800-745-3000
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA TICKETS 717-534-3911
One Direction, Jul 5, 2013 • Dave Matthews Band, Jul 13
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
Dave Matthews Band, May 29 Steamtown Beer Festival, Jun 15 Kid Rock, Jul 6 Rock Star Energy Drink Mayhem Fest, Jul 13 Vans Warped Tour, Jul 16
TICKETS 570-920-7600
SOVEREIGN CENTER, Reading, PA
Ringling Bros & Barnum Bailey, Apr 24-28 Shinedown, w/ Special Guests Bush, Apr 30
TICKETS 610-898-7200
Chris Young, Apr 20|Alice Cooper/ Marilyn Manson, Jun 18 TICKETS (215) 922-5483
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA
TICKETS 877-682-4791 War, Apr 20 Best of NY Burlesque, Apr 27 Thunder from down under, Fri & Sat Jul 5 - Aug 31
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA MUSIKFEST CAFE Bethlehem, PA TICKETS 610-332-1300 The Mavericks, Apr 18 Marc Maron, Apr 19 Carbon Leaf, Apr 25
TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Seven Dust, Apr 18 Suicidal Tendencies, Apr 19 Pierce the Veil & All Time Low, Apr 21-22 Bassnectar, May 1-2 Insane Clown Possee, May 3 The Black Crowes, May 12
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA
Olly Murs, Apr 20 Sammy Adams & T. Mills, Apr 23 Sparks, Apr 24 The Polish Ambassador, Apr 26 Todd Rundgren, May 11 Killswitch Engage, Jun 9
REVERB - Reading, PA
TICKETS 215-336-3600
1409 N. 9th St
The Rolling Stones, Jun 18 Bruno Mars, Jun 24
(610) 743-3069 Kotton Mouth Kings, Apr 19 | Aaron Carter, May 31 Carly Rae Jepsen, Aug 2 Frampton’s Guitar Circus, Aug 5 Styx & Foreigner, Aug 7 Darius Rucker, Aug 9 Ke$ha, Aug 10
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650
B.B. King, Apr 17 Billy Bragg, Apr 20 Boney James The Beat Tour, Apr 24 Tower of Power & Average White Band, Apr 26
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA
Bar Stool Black Out Tour, Apr 18 3 Days Grace, Apr 19 Chris Young, Apr 20 Steel Panther, Apr 26
Jamey Johnson, Apr 26 Rick Springfield, Apr 28 Tanya Tucker, May 4 Skid Row, May 31
TICKETS 570-420-280 Page 8
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
Rebelution, May 4 Volbeat, May 6 Asking Alexandra, May 8 Bullet for my Valentine, May 19
TICKETS 570-325-0371
Check Out Three Days Grace Friday at the Sherman Theater in Stroudsburg
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013 Page 10
Movie Review
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10 BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10
By Chris Bumbray
THE HIGH ROAD 3 DAYS GRACE
TRANSIT OF VENUS
WHERE DID THE ANGELS GO? PAPA ROACH
THE CONNECTION
FREAK LIKE ME
HALESTORM
THE STRANGE CASE OF…
BY CROOKED STEPS
PLOT: The true story of Jackie Robinson’s (Chadwick Boseman) first season with the Brooklyn Dodgers, where- with the help of owner Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford) – he became the first African-American player to cross the color line. REVIEW: Jackie Robinson’s career with the Dodgers is without a doubt one of the all-time great sport stories. It’s hard to imagine a world where black ballplayers were confined to playing in the so-called “Negro Leagues” but sure enough, before Robinson, that’s how it was. Before the civil rights movement picked up steam in the sixties, Robinson was already breaking down color barriers, and it’s surprising that it’s taken this long for Hollywood to step up to the plate and give Robinson the big Hollywood biopic he deserves (although it’s worth remembering that Robinson actually played himself in the low-budget 1950 b-movie, THE JACKIE ROBINSON STORY).
SOUNDGARDEN
KING ANIMAL
BONES
YOUNG GUNS BONES
FROM CAN TO CAN’T
COREY TAYLOR / DAVE GROHL
SOUND CITY SOUNDTRACK
VILIFY
DEVICE
DEVICE
THE HANGMAN’S BODY COUNT VOLBEAT OUTLAW GENTLEMEN & SHADY LADIES
I’LL FOLLOW YOU
SHINEDOWN AMARYLIS
DO ME A FAVOR
STONE SOUR
HOUSE OF GOLD AND BONES PT. 1
Considering his legacy, and the fact that Robinson was by all accounts a truly great man both on and off the field, this approach isn’t entirely inappropriate. However, other than one really good scene where Robinson breaks down under the abuse of a rival team’s coach (a despicable if cartoonish Alan Tudyk as real-life Phillies manager, and racist Ben Chapman), Robinson is presented almost stoically. Chadwick Boseman makes for a suitably heroic Robinson, but it would have been nice if at least a few scenes had been included that focused on the emotional turmoil Robinson had to face when on the road in hostile towns, where he often wasn’t even allowed to bunk with his teammates due to segregation. Instead, loads of time is spent on Harrison Ford as Branch Rickey. Nothing against the man, who truly was a hero for integrating baseball, but the fact is Rickey’s story is much less interesting than Robinson’s. Likely, the focus on Rickey is due to the fact that none other than Harrison Ford is playing him. The rest of the cast fares better than Ford, although their screen-time is limited. Christopher Meloni is great as the Dodgers tough but fair GM, Leo Durocher, a ladies man, and the only guy who can mouth-off to Rickey and get away with it. The same goes for Lucas Black and Hamish Linklater as two of Robinson’s more open minded teammates. The best of the bunch has to be John C. McGinley, who absolutely nails his part as the Dodgers play-by-play commentator Red Barber. You never see him outside the announcer’s box, but he’s able to nail Barber’s exact cadence and style of delivery, with fights being “chin waggings” and so on. I’m still convinced that Jackie Robinson’s life story could- and should- be made into a much better film, if only more of an effort was made to depict the man, rather than the legend. Still, for what it is 42 isn’t bad at all, and it’s worth seeing even if merely for the fact that Robinson’s story is one we should all be familiar with and never forget. Truly, he was one of the greatest sportsmen who ever lived, and this is a decent tribute.
E E R G I D E P PURE PROG
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
by: Mitch
(2nd installment in a series of articles about my experiences aboard the MSC Poesia for the Cruise to the Edge) King Crimson. Yes. Roxy Music. Frank Zappa. From these influential bands of the 70s, the progressive rock supergroup UK was formed. On the recent Yes-headlined Cruise to the Edge, I had my first live UK experiences as the band played two main shows aboard the Italian cruise liner, MSC Poesia in the ship’s Teatro Carlo Felice with bassist/vocalist John Wetton and keyboardist/violinist Eddie Jobson also hosting an interesting and informative storyteller’s gig at the pool stage. The original UK lineup featured Wetton and Jobson with former Yes/King Crimson drummer, Bill Bruford and jazz fusion virtuoso Allan Holdsworth on guitar. Wetton spoke of how he and Bruford attempted to re-form King Crimson with founding member, Robert Fripp. Fripp declined so Bruford and Wetton moved forward with the UK project bringing on Holdsworth along with Eddie Jobson, who in 1973, had replaced Brian Eno as keyboardist in Roxy Music until 1976. In 1978, UK released their self-titled debut album but this lineup was short-lived as musical differences precipitated the departure of both Holdsworth and Bruford. During the storyteller’s segment, Wetton admitted that he didn’t really care for jazz which was Holdsworth’s forte. After Holdsworth’s firing, Bruford also decided to leave the band. Drumming phenom Terry Bozzio, who played with Frank Zappa in the mid-70s, replaced Bruford on drums and the band continued on as a trio releasing their second album, 1979’s Danger Money and the live release, Night After Night, also from 1979. As luck would have it, this lineup was the one that performed on the Cruise to the Edge. The trio was joined by Austrian-born fusion guitarist, Alex Machacek, who played the Holdsworth parts. The UK shows were a few of the highlights from my five day voyage and it was indeed a privilege to be able to see and hear this assemblage of virtuosos in one place.
I suppose I saw Bozzio play with Zappa at Muhlenberg College in October 1977 but I’m not 100% sure he was there that night at Memorial Hall. With UK, Bozzio was sheer power and energy with an eyepopping drum kit that could be one of the world’s biggest. It’s the biggest I’ve ever seen. He attacked it with a ferocity that one would expect from a former Zappa percussionist. The two shows on the cruise were identical as they only have two studio releases in their discography. They opened with the “In the Dead of Night” suite from the first album and that set the tone for what was to be an incredible concert experience with thundering bass from Wetton, mind-blowing synthesizers and complex keyboard and violin work from Jobson and amazing speed and precision on the drums from Bozzio. This Friday night, UK will play the Highline Ballroom in NYC and on Sunday, they will play World Café Live in Philadelphia. I am compelled to make the trip down to see them one more time as it appears that they will call it quits for good after this tour. For the remaining shows, Terry Bozzio will be replaced by Australian drum whiz, Virgil Donati. For the record: In my 1st installment, I wrote that Yes would probably not be performing three complete albums at The Sands Bethlehem Event Center show on April 7. That was not the case. Venues have complete control over the length of the shows and the shows I saw in Florida and on the cruise were restricted to two albums only. Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last ten years! Tune in weeknights for The Six O’Clock Class Reunion and great classic hits from the 60s through the 90s and on Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
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Wetton’s voice has matured nicely as he still records and tours with his other supergroup, Asia. His bass-playing talents have not diminished over the years. If anything, he’s gotten better.
I had never seen Jobson play live until the cruise and he exceeded all of my expectations. Jobson has embraced the new technology and no longer has to haul around multiple keyboards which were staples of the UK live performance circa 1979. He travels light with two VAX77 Midi Keyboard Controllers that can easily replicate any sounds he was generating a generation ago. He was masterful on violin. He owns a collection of custom clear electric violins and they were on full display with a variety of luminescent colors piercing through the dimly lit stage.
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013 Page 12
HOTSHOTS!
If you are a bar or club that would like to featured in Hot Shots send us an email: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
HAZE LAUNCH PARTY - AT BETHLEHEM’S NEWEST HOOKAH LOUNGE SULTANA HOOKAH LOUNGE
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
T H G I L COORS ! S L R I G
FEATURES
FRI 4/19: Linx
6-8pm
FRI 4/19: Sunset Grille 7-9pm
SAT 4/20: Drinkys 11-1am
Coors Light Karaoke Philadelphia Baseball Tye-Dye Party $1.50 Happy Hour $2 Ticket Giveaway!! $2 Coors Light Drafts! Coors Light Drafts! Coors Light Drafts!
The Valley Coors Girls
PAGE 13
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• Hops at The Paddock-Friday $2 Pints • Macgradys-$7 Pitchers All Day Everyday • Stooges-Saturday $1.75 Pints • Roosevelts 21st Bethlehem- $1.99 Drafts All Day Everyday • Drinkys- $1.99 Drafts All Day Everyday • The Gin Mill & Grille- Saturday $6.00 pitchers • 1760 Pub & Grille- $3 20oz Drafts • Krocks Pub- $2 Drafts All Day Everyday • Pj Wheilihans BethlehemSaturday $2.50 Drafts & Bottles • Keystone Pub Whitehall- $2.50 Drafts All Day Everyday • Sotto Santi- $2.50 Drafts All Day Everyday
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524 Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd, 610-769-4600 4/19 A.D.D Band 4/20 Exit 22 Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Tuesday Nights: Karaoke w/DJ Troy Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment 4/27 Mcs for MS Benefit Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music
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BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 5/11 Blessing of the Bikes: noon - 4pm
BETHLEHEM Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Baseball Thurday: DJ@10pm Sat: BOGO Burgers Sunday: Football
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 4/17 Tavern Tan Band 4/18 Paul Knakk Band 4/19 Applachian Gypsie Tribe 4/20 Trouble City Allstars 4/21 DJ Realion 4/22 Matthew Bailey 4/23 St. Cloud
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 4/17 Celebrity Night w/MC Tom Taylor & Velvet Crush Dancers Special Guest Spose 4/18 Go-Go Gadjet 4/19 Sensational Soul Cruisers 4/20 Peat Moss & the Fertilizers 4/21 Brian Kirk & the Jirks 4/22 Gas Station Disco 4/23 Tower Suite & Friends Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 5/4 Cuarto De Mayo
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 4/17 Improv Comedy 4/18 The Mighty Manatees 4/19 Annalivia 4/20 The Kennedey’s 4/21 Open Mic 4/23 Blues Jam
Burnt Sienna 4/19 Vision Bar at the Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
Exit 22 4/20 Strange Brew Allentown, PA
DJ Dnial / DJ Zero 4/20 Drinky’s Easton, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Diamondz Rt. 611, Bartonsville 1913 W Broad St 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Bethlehem, Pa 18018 Tues, Thurs, Sun: 610 865 1028 Karaoke Monday: Jukebox Strange Brew 4/17 Dale Barth Thursday: Karaoke Tavern Fri & Sat: Dance club/ 4/20 Nuff Said 1996 S. Fifth St Karaoke 610-841-3610 EASTON Monday: Pong night Sunday: Karaoke Spanky’s East Sunday: Open mic 1700 Butler St Bethlehem Brew 4/19 Christopher 610-559-5170 Works Dean Band Tues: Texas Hold Em’ 4/20 Neon Fusion 569 Main St Drinky’s 610-882-1300 3 Centre St Sq Roosevelt’s 21st 610-252-3800 1328 W. Tilghman St Vision Bar @ Sands Wed: Pong Night $100 (610) 770-1444 Event Center Fri: DJ Zee 4/25 Highlighter Pty 77 Sands Boulevard 4/20 DJ Dnial / DJ Zero 610-297-7410 Jetport Lounge 4/19 Burnt Sienna Porter’s Pub 3400 Airport Rd. 4/20 Ramonna Rizzo 700 Northampton St. Allentown, Pa 610-250-6561 4/17 Open Mic 610-266-1000 Tally Ho 4/18 Bill Noren Wednesdays: 6-12am 205 W. Fourth St 4/19 Mike Horn Project DJ Jimmy K 610-865-2591 4/20 Kill the Broadcast Fridays: 4/20 Luau Party Mike Mitman
Neon Fusion 4/20 Strange Brew Sands Casino Allentown, PA
MORE ON PAGE 21
Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke 6/1 Rupall Drag Race Roxxxy Andrews
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
ALBUM REVIEW
By: Gina Crash
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE There are second chances in metalcore. “Disarm the Descent” is Westfield, Massachusetts band Killswitch Engage’s first album with original lead singer Jesse Leach since 2002’s “Alive or Just Breathing.” Former singer Howard Jones, (not the guy from the 80’s!), left early last year for personal reasons including his Type 2 Diabetes that had gone untreated for years. When I told my co-worker Scotty Brilliant I would be reviewing the new album from Killswitch Engage this week, he was like, “How do you do that, Crash?” “It’s like reviewing their first album again cuz they are almost like a new band with Jesse again!” True, but Killswitch, as fans refer to them, doesn’t waste anytime getting right back into it with fierce opening tracks like, “The Hell in Me” and “Beyond the Flames.” If you’re looking
to vent your aggressions, “The New Awakening” will have you punching your fists in the air, rather than into a wall, with empowering lyrics like, “I would rather die than live my life in fear.” The beauty of Killswitch is that even through the often screamed vocals, you can still make out uplifting melodies that will stick with you in your head. “In Due Time” was the perfect choice for a first single that has already cracked the Top 20 Active Rock Chart and gotten a lot of radio airplay, including on 107.1 The Bone. My vote for the next single is “A Tribute to the Fallen.” This song deserves to be heard by as many people as possible, and will grab you all the way through to the powerful ending. I can’t wait to hear it again when it’s over and for people to request it as a tribute to the fallen in their life. Jesse
Leach told the music website noisecreep. com that “YouDon’t Bleed for Me,” is “the most pissed off song I’ve ever written!” I think others will agree with that. With the 2:50 brevity of a good hardcore punk song, “The Call” shouldn’t be overlooked either. “No End in Sight” was the album’s first leaked track, but according to an interview Jesse did with metal website, loudwire.com, “It’s the weakest song on the record.” The band has had a history of leaks. Their 2004 “The End of Heartache” album with former lead singer Howard Jones leaked a month and a half early! “Disarm The Descent” was streaming a week ahead of its scheduled April 2nd release, but that hasn’t seemed to hurt sales. In fact, it’s the opposite as “Disarm the Descent” sold around 48,000 copies in its first week
of release to debut at #7 on the Billboard album chart. Killswitch Engage shows they do have a softer side with the mellow, reflective track, “Always.” Killswitch will head out on a just announced tour with support from As I Lay Dying, Miss May I and Affiance. As of right now, the closest they come to the Valley is June 9th at the Trocadero in Philly and June 11th at Best Buy Theater in NYC and tickets are on sale now. More info can be found on the band’s Facebook page that boasts an impressive, over 2 million likes! Killswitch Engage and Jesse Leach are back with a vengeance. Like any loyal fan, I am anxious to see them live again. If this album and the positive fan reaction to it is any indication, I think they will pick up right back where they left off.
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Hear the music Gina Crash reviews on 107.1 The Bone, The Valley’s Real Rock Station, where she’s the Midday Goddess. Hit her up during the Noon Request Riot weekdays. Like 107 The Bone on Facebook, follow them on Twitter @ 107thebone & listen live at 107thebone.fm
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
BY: Tyler Drake
issues, the building was not completed until 1972. For years the framework of the tower stood over the skyline like a skeleton. During the 1970s the price of imported foreign steel dipped below that of the domestic version. As you might imagine, this was a death knell for big steel in America. During the first half of that century, the company supplied steel for the George Washington and Golden Gate Bridges, the Chrysler and Empire State Buildings, and the Hoover Dam. Just after The decision of the Bethlehem City Council the century closed, it filed for bankruptcy. a couple weeks ago to exclude Martin Tower from an anti-demolition list, a ruling reportedly Only three years ago, the Bethlehem Area requested by owners Lewis Ronca and Norton School Board turned down a plan to help Herrick, has fueled speculation that the tower will developers turn the tower into condominiums. be destroyed. For its role as the headquarters That 300-million-dollar plan would have of Bethlehem Steel Company, Martin Tower required $9.5 million in public money. was listed on the National Register of Historic Places on June 28, 2010 (which is not a super Tony Hanna, director of the Bethlehem exclusive list—the Lehigh County Prison was on Redevelopment Authority said: “It should be it from 1981 to 1998). Although the property the preserved as a symbol of the city’s history. It Tower resides on has lost $58 million dollars of would be a shame to give up on this building.” Council President value since its heydey, The decision to exclude Martin Tower from an City it is still worth $4.6 anti-demolition list, a ruling reportedly requested by Eric Evans has a different million, and is situated owners Lewis Ronca and Norton Herrick, has fueled view: “I don’t think there would be a lot of tears in an attractive location. speculation that the tower will be destroyed. if it came down.” Maybe he, like others, is A corporate anthropologist might see the thinking of it as a potential revenue source — a shimmering building as a glimmering, polished building full of ghosts, even one furnished with turd left by the steel dinosaur. It will not surprise executive-level opulence, one whose orifices one inclined to such a view, one who likely holds the still whisper hubristic echoes of jurassic view that the short-sightedness of management magnates, doesn’t generate a lot of tax revenue. left lingering effects that would depress this area for decades, that the 21-story fecal Although it is unclear exactly what the property remnants of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation would be used for, seems is clear that this is are poisonous: specifically, the building is laced prime real estate that could realize immense with so much asbestos that it would cost $7 potential if developed. I for one hope they million to destroy it. One possible side benefit: find something to do with it. People clinging steel recovered from the demolition could be to steel have the spotlighted blast furnaces, sold to recover some of that money. It would themed restaurants like the BrewWorks, the be the first Bethlehem steel sold in a long time. National Museum of Industrial History, and a thousand black-and-white photos of industrial Bethlehem Steel broke ground on the site in 1969, fossils. Why preserve this garish monument a decade after steel’s nadir. Facing financial to a moment past the industry’s prime?
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
MARTIN TOWER BETHLEHEM
Looking out from the observation deck atop Iacocca Hall, the Lehigh Valley’s tallest building juts out of its surroundings like one of Clarke’s monoliths. One imagines that, after mankind moves on from the region or this planet, apemen sitting around Martin Tower might start bashing one another with clubs. According to some sources, this was approximately the scene in the later days of the Bethlehem Steel Company.
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS continued
ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself, and that becomes clear at the start of the week -- especially if you find yourself projecting disowned parts of your own life onto the people around you. Just remember that taking responsibility isn’t the same as taking on blame or taking immediate action. Use the middle of the week to figure out what you want. By Friday, you’ll start to see ways to achieve those goals, but don’t decide on one path just yet. Over the weekend, some of your true feelings start to emerge, and they need space in order to become apparent.
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) You’ve got a lot on your mind on Monday, and it may be easy for you to forget about the role romance plays in your life. You shake it off quickly, though, and might overcompensate by spending every waking moment with your sweetie or cruising the personals. Try to find a balance -- it’s what you’re best at! Thursday and Friday are perfect for speaking from the heart, and you should have a profound effect. Try to stick with what you know over the weekend, no matter how tempting that new hottie may be.
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) Looking for answers isn’t nearly as important as making sure you’re asking the right questions, especially on Monday or Tuesday. When you really go beyond the superficial, you find that the issues at hand have very little to do with what you originally assumed were important. Wednesday and Thursday are good times to consolidate the discoveries you made earlier in the week, while on Friday and Saturday, you’ll find a myriad of ways to address them. Wait until Sunday, however, before you try to make any decisions about which way to move.
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) You may help a friend who needs more of a boost to their love life than you do early in the week. It could be just a supportive word, or it could be as complicated as setting up a blind date, but you’ll reap karmic rewards. An unusual energy animates you on Tuesday and Wednesday, and you may want to practice letting other folks control the flow of conversation and activities. Money may come between you and your date later in the week unless you nip it in the bud by offering to pay. Your heart and your brain are in perfect sync this weekend!
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GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) No matter how well you plan, you can never be totally sure of the outcome -- which is why it’s helpful to pay attention to matters in front of you, big or small. At the week’s beginning, a small opportunity could turn out to be much, much bigger than you had envisioned, while by Wednesday or Thursday, it’s clear that something you had high hopes for turns out to be less expansive than you would have liked. Use Friday and Saturday to gather information -- when you’re in the flow, the right stuff just seems to come to you. Sunday is a good time to get in touch with family.
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) Getting your inner critic out of the way during the first half of the week helps you feel more relaxed and creative. You may find this easier on Monday and Tuesday, but on Wednesday and Thursday, this task might prove to be more difficult. On Friday and Saturday, your methods prove to be almost too effective as you find ideas and concepts simply flying out of your mouth. (Carry a pad and paper so none of this potential genius gets lost.) On Sunday, take a page from the Italians and ‘bel far niente’ -- have a great time doing absolutely nothing.
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CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) You’re incredibly impatient on Monday, but you need to slow down and let people move at their own pace. Find ways to manage your own stress. Group activities are perfect for you midweek, and it’s easy to integrate your sweetie or your search for someone new into almost any party or gathering. You may feel a little crazy after all that socializing, and the build-up to the weekend may see you shake free of some of your inhibitions! Your emotional energy peaks Saturday night, and the whole weekend should feel intensely wonderful.
CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) If you’ve got plans with your sweetie or a date on Monday, expect a postponement -- that’s just the way things are going, and it’s not a warning sign. Your great energy makes you great with kids midweek, but if they’re not a part of the picture, you are just as comfortable with adults. It’s a good time for you to spend quiet time together. Volunteering may be a great way to bring your mate closer later in the week -- or to meet someone with similar interests, if you’re looking. You need to make a change of some kind over the weekend, but it’s not revolutionary.
LEO (7/23 - 8/22) On Monday and Tuesday, you excel at starting projects; finishing them, however, is best left to Wednesday and Thursday. Just remember that the excitement of starting something can be exhilarating, but true satisfaction comes from seeing it through all the way to the end. Friday and Saturday are good times to think about all your possibilities and the various ways you can find to complete them, but hold off on going down one path or another. On Sunday, you’ll receive a piece of information that will tell you which way is truly the most beneficial for you.
PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) Have you been letting someone in your life get away with far too much? At the week’s start, it’s time to see the truth. You may not need to have a talk with them, but you need to be honest with yourself. On Wednesday and Thursday, set new standards of behavior for yourself and others. Just remember that all change starts with small steps, and it’s the process, not the final outcome, that counts. Let yourself have fun on Friday and Saturday. Frivolity is a necessity, not an indulgence. On Sunday, remember that your feelings have as much weight and relevance as rationality and logic.
PALMER
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200 Brass Lantern 1350 N 12th St 610-372-9311
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Billiards Thursday: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik 4/18 Mike Wise (Emily’s Toybox) 4/20 Silverback Rocks 4/23 Midget Wrestling
MACUNGIE The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 4/20 T.B.A 4/27 The Dark Matters
OREFIELD Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 4/19 Eddie Bluestone 4/20 Hillbilly Souls
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 4/18 M’Fanga 4/19 Wineskin 4/20 John Eddie & Band 4/21 Doylestown School of Rock Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 5/1 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 4/18 Erin McClelland 4/19 The Fustics 4/20 George Wesley Band 4/21 The Pocono Duo 4/23 Regina Sayles
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check out Silverback Rocks this Saturday at the Hammerhead Lounge in Northampton
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VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) You have some very specific wishes you’d like fulfilled at the start of the week. That’s a special kind of pleasure, when you know just what it is that you want. Be careful during the middle of the week as you pursue these goals -- remember you can’t control all the elements in your life. Friday and Saturday, listen to the signals the universe is sending you. They may come in the most ordinary, workaday forms, but that doesn’t mean what they’re trying to convey doesn’t relate to all parts of your life. On Sunday, if you let yourself, you understand the meaning (and beauty) of ‘go with the flow.’
AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) It’s easy to see that you’re creative in one area of your life, but other channels may not be as freely flowing. On Monday and Tuesday, identify the areas where you’d like to have more energy, flexibility and inspiration. Then on Wednesday and Thursday, make a plan of attack and figure out how you can borrow from one aspect of your life and apply it to the others. On Friday and Saturday, participate in activities that are fun, whether that means rock climbing or hanging out at a community center. Use the last day of the week to enjoy some peaceful time at home.
HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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Mickey Mouse Mickey Mouse: Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, “You say here that your wife is crazy.” Mickey replied, “No I didn’t. I said she is fucking Goofy.” Ex-Girlfriend I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. “Wow!”, I said, “I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now! I’m a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!” She giggled and said she was sure I’d meet the challenge! “Yeah”, I said, “just so long as you don’t mind a man with a waistband that’s a few inches wider these days!” She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute! “Anyway, I’ve put on a couple of pounds myself!” she giggled .....so I told her to fuck off. Kinky A guy is sitting in a bar having a drink and sees a beautiful blonde haired girl across the way making eyes at him. He goes over and says, “Excuse me, miss, may I buy you a drink?” “Sure,” she says, “have a seat.” The man sits down and they get to talking. “You know,” the man says, “This is kind of a funny subject, but my wife just left me. She said I was too kinky in bed.” “REALLY?!?!” the girl says, “My boyfriend just left me because I was too kinky. Do you want to go back to my placae and get a little kinky?” So they finish their drinks and leave. When they get to the girls house, she says, “Waithere I’m going to slip into something a little more kinky.” She comes out from her room wearing a leather teddy, with a whip in one hand and handcuffs in the other, but the guy is grabbing his coat and heading for the door. She says, “Wait a minute, I thought we were going to get kinky!” He says, “Jesus, lady I already shit in your purse and fucked your dog. What more do you want me to do?”
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Coma A woman is in a coma, and the nurse tending to her notices that whenever she is sponge bathing the woman, the woman’s vital signs jump a little on all of the machines an screens. So the nurse calls the husband and says ’come down to the hospital, i think i know how to get your wife out of this coma.’ so the husband hurries down, and asks the nurse what he can do. The nurse says, ’ i think that oral sex will bring her out of her coma, it will arrouse her enough to bring her out of the coma.’ so the nurse closes the cutains, and leaves the husband with his wife in the room. Moments later, the man comes running out of the room, flustered. The nurse, worried, asks him what happened. the husband says, ’I don’t know, I think that she started choking.’ Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT APRIL 17, 2013
MODEL BEAT
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What do you do to make $$$. I work a fulltime desk job. Plus Model & Actress. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married. In a relationship. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend. Request me on FaceBook (https://www.facebook.com/ tina.mari.9), follow me on Twitter (@ xoxo_TinaMari) or Contact My Agent: Randy@DonatelliModels.Com. 610-921-5582 Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination. Anything tropical! I love the beach. What do you do to relax. I don’t like to relax, but if I had to, I’d enjoy watching a Movie. What sports do you watch the most. Hockey. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage. Miller Lite. What happens to be your worst vice. Shameless flirting, for sure! What is your best feature. My confidence. What TV show do you never miss each week. None! I can never actually stay committed to a TV show. I do enjoy The Walking Dead though. What movie would you recommend to our readers. The Other Guys. What is at the top of your “Bucket List”. Being in Maxim! Are you a Spender or a Saver. Both. I like to save, but you also have to spend money to have a good time, right? What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? I was in the 2013 Preston & Steve Totally Office Calendar and I do promotions with the station throughout the Delaware Valley. What do you sleep in. My birthday suit. :) What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you. Some young boy kept yelling to me in a parking lot. At first I was ignoring him, but I finally turned around when he yelled, “Ma’am! You dropped something!” As soon as he got my attention he added, “My jaw!” It was lame but also funny at the same time! What do want guys to know about sex/relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)? Don’t be the jealous type! It’s such
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