2023 TUV Magazine July-Aug Purpose Issue

Meet the GILKEY’S After 10 years of being a couple the Gilkey’s added a new bundle of joy to their family!

+

THE KEY TO L OV E Can Be in a Song Sometimes a song can bring clarity to one’s quest for love

+

THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE Finding your why can lead to a purpose driven life

JULY - AUGUST 2023

VISIT TUVMAG.COM

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!

Meet The DavisWashington THE COUPLE WHO ARE DEFYING ODDS TO BUILDING A F A M I LY The Davis-Washingtons have accomplished so much during their six years of love; this is only the beginning. They hope their story inspires and motivates someone to live in their truth and attain their goals, whether for love, life, or family.

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. � Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. � Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. � Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. � Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. � The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).

These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: � dofetilide � rifampin � any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: � Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. � Have any other health problems. � Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby.

Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. � Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed.

Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: � Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. � BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.

Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION � This is only a brief summary of important information

about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. � Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. � If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. © 2023 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0250 04/23

2

| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

#1 PRESCRIBED

HIV TREATMENT* *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 01/20/2023.

ELIAS SWITCHED TO BIKTARVY Listen to REAL STORIES being told by REAL VOICES.

No matter where life takes you,

Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.

BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you.

Person featured takes BIKTARVY and is compensated by Gilead.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and at BIKTARVY.com.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

3

CON TEN TS

Ad Deadline August 14, 2023

Next Issue to Sept | Oct 2023

The Washington-Davis Photos by: Jaio Photography @jaiophotography

08 Cover Story

The Washington-Davis Building Their Family Legacy 06 | Editor’s Letter

Gwendolyn D. Clemons Finding Your Why

07 | Editor’s Letter Dr. Davin Clemons Stop Wasting Your Time In Life

14 | Spirituality Beth Trouy What Happens When Purpose Choses You?

16

Guest Contributor Cicely S. Moore Purpose Driven Life

15 | Spirituality Chisimdi Christiana When The Church Is Not Safe

17 | Wedding Announcement Kristi & Karen Wilson Love Wins

19 | Health & Wellness Umieca N. Hankton, Ph.D. Thriving “In Spite Of”

12 22 TUV Contributor

Community News 4 | CONTENTS

Meet The Gilkey’s Gilkey’s Party Of 3

Brodderick Roary What Does It Mean to Live a Purpose-Driven Life?

22 | Guest Feature David Wyley Long The Key to Love Can Be In A Song

Shawn M. Clemons Administration/ Fashion Director

Gregory Graphics Layout/Design

Brodderick Roary Special Contributor

Dr. Umieca Hankton Special Contributor

Whitney Johnson Chief Editor

Kyra Bonet St James-Cassadine Transgender Correspondent

TEAM TUV

Snap to Subscribe to TUV Magazine Scan this code with your phone to subscribe to The Unleashed Voice Magazine Today! Take it everywhere you go, along with the print edition.

You’ll qualify to download each issue digitally through your iPhone, iPad, or Android devices.

@TUVmagazine National Advertising + Rivendell Media Company 1248 US 22 Mountainside, NJ 07092 Office 908.232.2021 | www.rivendellmedia.com

CONTENTS |

5

FINDING YOUR WHY! 6 | EDITOR’S LETTER

R

ecently, I was scrolling on Facebook and one of my

Facebook friends who had just

HERE ARE A FEW STEPS TO

women over 40 to chime in on.

1. Self-reflection: Take the time

share things we've learned to help

and interests. Consider what

turned 40 posed a question to

HELP YOU FIND YOUR "WHY.”

This young woman asked us to

to reflect on your values, passions,

her prepare for the years ahead.

As I began to post my 2 cents,

it really became apparent to me that I had gained a lot of lived

experience and it made me feel

honored to share a thing or two about what I’ve learned.

My biggest take away that day was sharing with her is “Finding Your

Why” in life. Because if you can find your “why” it will direct you toward your higher purpose. In between

these margins lies the balance of

maturing peacefully and gracefully or living with bitterness and

regrets. I truly believe that finding

your “why” and understanding your purpose are tied to the reason(s)

behind your actions and decisions.

It involves discovering what truly motivates and fulfills you in life.

The irony about that conversation on that day was I had just written

ON THE COVER: Meet JaCarlos, Britton, &

Baby Zak Davis-Washington.

The Davis-Washington is a

same-gendered couple who are sharing their adoption journey. This family is an

example of what parenting

can and should like for those that desire to start a family either through birthing or

adoption. Sit back and enjoy the other stories included

on what a beautiful, blended

family looks like because we definitely didn’t stop with this family!

my article for this issue, The Purpose Driven Issue and a

random question just popped

up on my profile. I know that the universe always gives us signs

that render confirmation about

things, and nothing just happens.

activities or causes energize you

and bring you a sense of meaning

and fulfillment. Reflecting on your

past experiences, both positive and negative, can also provide insights into what matters most to you.

2. Identify your strengths: Recognize your unique strengths, skills, and talents. Understanding what you excel at can help you uncover areas where you can

make a meaningful impact and find fulfillment.

3. Clarify your values: Determine your core values, which are the

guiding principles that shape your behavior and decision-making.

Reflect on what you believe is

important in life, such as integrity,

creativity, compassion, or personal growth. Aligning your actions with your values can bring a sense of purpose and authenticity.

4. Explore different areas: Don't be afraid to explore various interests and pursuits. Engage in new experiences, volunteer

for different causes, or try out

different hobbies or career paths.

I thought I had my article finished

5. Seek inspiration: Look for role

the random Facebook exchange

Learn about their journeys and how

but the bigger story was to include between Sisters! The comments on Facebook that day varied but

from my estimation she was filled

with nuggets and jewels from over 50 different women and random

topics about navigating your 40’s.

What I appreciated the most about

the posts was that she found value

models or people who inspire you. they found their purpose.

6. Experiment and act: Finding

your "why" often involves acting

and trying different things. Don't

be afraid to experiment, take risks, and learn from both successes and failures.

in asking women older than her

Remember that finding your "why"

discount the fact that in this virtual

change over time. Be patient with

Gwendolyn D. Clemons

to share viewpoints and didn’t

MBA, MSM, PRC, Editor-In-Chief

golden nuggets at her disposal.

community were treasures and

is a journey, and it may evolve and yourself and enjoy the process of self-discovery.

Making the most of your time isn’t

just good for productivity; studies

show that proper time management enhances your well-being to a greater extent.

2. Start Your Day Proactively

Maximizing your time involves taking a proactive stance. Start Your day

with intentions by setting meaningful objectives. You can aim to kickstart

a new work project with your team or simply buy groceries for the week.

The objectives could be as big or as

small as you like, so long as they are specific, realistic, and achievable.

3. Stop Multitasking

Stop Wasting Your Time in Life Dr. Davin D. Clemons

The bible declares in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For Everything There Is a Season, and a Time for Every

Purpose Under Heaven.” We are in a Season of Stop Wasting Your Time

in Life because the modern world is fast paced and time often seems to

slip by with us barely noticing. It’s for

minds and our body on things that really do not matter. If you’ve ever

used the excuse, “I don’t have time to improve my life,” consider how much time you are wasting. Stop wasting your time!

The expression time waits for no

man/woman (or time and tide wait for no man/woman) means that passing of time is unstoppable

and inevitable. No one can control or escape natural phenomena or facts of life, such as birth, death,

or the sun rising. It’s important as

individuals that we manage our time

well. Everyone has 24 hours but only those who make good use of their time will be successful. So, Stop

According to research, the human

brain lacks the cognitive and neural structures to execute multitasking.

Our attention spans and areas

of control are wired to focus on one thing at a time. The actual

manifestation of multitasking is

task-switching or shifting between

two activities within a given period.

Multitasking wastes time because it gives you a false sense of security that you can juggle multiple tasks

simultaneously. In reality, you might be doing the work but without the

focus needed to do your work well.

This puts you at risk of lackluster performance or worse, having to repeat the task repeatedly.

Wasting Your Time!

My Final thoughts:

Here are 3 tips that I have used

Life is short. Wasting time on online

helped me to Stop Wasting Time:

meaningless discussions about

in my own personal life that has

distractions, getting involved in

that reason that it’s important that

1. Know Where Your Time Goes

things we have no control over, and

we don’t spend time or attention on

things that are frivolous, negative or

If you don’t know where your time

plan or objective is like throwing

just are a waste of time! The creator

goes, how can you stop wasting time?

Having a clear view of where your

and/or God is not pleased with us

wasting our gifts, talents, creativity,

time is spent each day gives you a

clear baseline on where to improve.

drifting through our days with no away our hard-earned money.

It’s about time we give time the

importance it deserves. So, Stop Wasting Your Time in Life!

EDITOR’S LETTER |

7

Building Our Legacy Meet JaCarlos, Britton & Zak Davis-Washington NAVIGATING LOVE JaCarlos & Britton recently

celebrated their sixth wedding anniversary. They have been

able to communicate and find new strategies and ways to

enhance their relationship as

they have grown together. Open communication is their biggest secret weapon that has helped

them in their relationship. They

both found it helpful to express their wants, concerns, and

needs to each other without

holding back and respecting

the boundaries they have set

together. The keyword that has

helped them maintain their love life is TEAMWORK. Once they

could intertwine teamwork and

communication, they discovered that it helped them navigate

love and put them on the right

trajectory for the future. Another big success for them was being able to meet other couples that had similar things going on in

their life and being able to piggyback on different relationship situations that they shared.

Britton shared, “It’s great to

focus on your partner, but even

8

| COVER STORY

more exciting when you have

supportive of the process. You

share the love with and celebrate

the past or you can come up

others around you that you can

them and their love life as well.”

can blame it on being stuck in with your own ideas, but the

NAVIGATING LIFE

Davis-Washingtons chose to just

Life has been interesting for the

support. JaCarlos mentioned,

Davis-Washingtons. As they both have grown older, they are also

very open about their social life changing. The ups and downs

that come with love also impact

your social relationships. During this phase of life JaCarlos and

Britton ran into some not so good friendships. There were people

posing to be in their corner, but they really weren’t. They think back on an old saying, “Don’t let everyone in your house.”

continue to live life without their “It’s sad that some people can’t

get out of their own head. I won’t allow myself to stop moving

because someone else thinks I should stop. In this community we often position ourselves to beg for acceptance, and I will

no longer reach out to be loved, cared for, or accepted if that person doesn’t willingly do

along with navigating life. You

Britton have made has been the

back if they can maintain who

they are through your times of

elevation. Friends come and go,

but they are excited to finally feel like they have their forever circle around them this season.

JaCarlos stated, "I never realized that there were so many people around us that were not for us.”

They have realized that their

job in life is to treat others how

they desire to be treated, and if

applies to family as well. During this journey they have realized that not only do friends come

sour, but family too. Even in this joyous phase of life there were

family members that weren’t so

up their bundle of joy from

the hospital they had already

started to change their way of

life and how it would look going

forward. Who would drop off and pick up Zak? How they would

need to alternate working out,

grocery store runs. They wanted to make it as easy as possible.

The teamwork really paid off for them. As a black gay couple in

Zak. They received this blessing from birth via adoption. The

success didn’t come overnight.

It was a long process that

lasted 513 days. Each day was a different day and neither of

the two knew what to expect. It

was all new to them as they had to deal with various agencies

entering their homes randomly throughout the week.

leaned on building relationships.

apply to friendships but it also

grace. Immediately upon picking

are now parents to their son,

forward. Britton's motto in life is: you." Not only does that motto

household, they handled it with

expansion of their family. They

Britton added, “I just didn’t know

"My life goes on with or without

that rocked the boat in their

announcement JaCarlos and

the friendship dissolves, then

it is okay to cut ties and move

Although this was an addition

NAVIGATING FAMILY The most significant

can find out who really has your

have been on the go ever since.

it on their own.”

That could be true literally and

generally. Lies, and Deceit come

When we were going through the adoption process it was easy to get discouraged and impatient but the village and team that we have in place became like family.

what tomorrow would bring. They When we were going through the adoption process it was easy to get discouraged and impatient but the village and team that

we have in place became like

family.” Leaning on them helped ease the fear as we were going

through the process. Their lives changed overnight and they

COVER STORY |

9

Houston, TX, they have managed

your age preference is there are

met a guy who was excited to

a family and reaching their

expanding your family.

interested. As they exchanged

to navigate through building

personal and marriage goals. At one point they felt that this was something they would long for forever until they did the work and accomplished it.

"We realized that in this

community, there are so many things that we feel we can't

touch or don't have the right to attain. We have learned

that we are more than capable and deserving of everything

in this life if we put our minds to it and chase it" -JaCarlos

Davis-Washington. Many people that they have come across have mentioned that they

were unaware someone that

looked like them could adopt.

The answer is, YES YOU CAN. There are so many kids that need families and whatever

10 | COVER STORY

agencies that can assist you with JaCarlos and Britton think back

to when they were going through their surrogacy process and

it was deemed unsuccessful

for them for various reasons.

They were both devastated

and discouraged. JaCarlos had a coworker who mentioned

adoption and he was against it for years. She would often tell

him a story of a couple that she

knew that was in the process of

adopting their children they got

see another African American

conversation, the story started

to sound very familiar. After all of

these years, JaCarlos was talking to the couple that his coworker

had mentioned years ago. Once

this occurred, they knew that this was God, and they started the

process to adopt. The process

we chose was not easy but worth every moment. There are many ways to accomplish the same

results, but we did what we felt

would work for us and WE DID IT!

If you have more questions about how they navigated through their journey

feel free to reach out to them. Instagram @thedaviswashingtons or via email

@bookdaviswashington@gmail.com The Davis-Washingtons have

accomplished so much during their six years of love; this is only the

beginning. They hope their story

inspires and motivates someone to

live in their truth and attain their goals, whether for love, life, or family.

PHOTOGRAPHY @jaiophotography HAIR @amanstouchsalon

at birth. Although the story was

Since the completion of their

the Davis-Washington family was

to help other couples achieve

IN THE PHOTOS

family with one couple already

JaCarlos Davis-Washington

to have representation and

Davis-Washington

compelling it was something that not trying to pursue. A couple

of years later as JaCarlos was doing research he joined an

adoption support group offering advice to those that may have

been interested in adopting. He

adoption, they have gone on

their goals of expanding their

receiving a match. It is important the Davis-Washington family aims to give us that.

@book.somethingforeign

Britton Davis-Washington Zak SOCIAL MEDIA @thedaviswashingtons

Gilkey's party of 3

Meet Phylicia and her wife,

Tiara, and soon to be 4-month old son, River. The Gilkey’s reside in Melissa, TX a city in the Dallas-Fort Worth

Metroplex. The couple have

been friends close to 15 years,

and have been in a relationship for 10 years and married for

7 years. Tiara originally from St. Louis, MO however, she

relocated to Memphis, TN in 2001 on a volleyball athletic

scholarship to the University of Memphis. Years later

Phylicia I returned to Memphis after attending Florida

A&M University and their paths crossed again and the rest is history.

Q: PLEASE SHARE THE DESIRE TO START A FAMILY? A: Throughout our relationship we've always had a desire

to start a family, but in the

beginning of our relationship

we both agreed that we wanted to enjoy one another before bringing children into our

world. We actually explored

the IVF process a year after getting married while living

in Chicago. However, both of

us were on a fast track in our careers and so we paused.

After relocating to Dallas and

settling in, the topic of children came up again. I expressed

to Tiara that before exploring

the IVF process, I wanted us to purchase a home and at least

enjoy it for a year. She agreed

12 | SPECIAL FEATURE

Discuss with your partner your desired parenting styles to

determine if they are aligned.

Please recognize that the 2nd parent adoption is another recommendation of ours.

One advantage the LGBTQIA+

community has when it comes to expanding our families

is "planning." With the state of the world and laws being

overturned and ridiculous laws

being introduced, the last thing we need to experience is our

relationships being challenged

with our children or our families

and in November 2020 we

not seen as a family because

built our home and December

of someone else's closed

2021 we began our IVF journey.

mindedness. Research your

We've always talked about

state laws and put legal action in

having 2 children and Tiara was

place as a safety net to protect

very clear she did not want to

carry LOL. Our plan was to do a process called Reciprocal IVF for our first child which

means I would carry Tiara's

embryo (similar to surrogacy but involves both female

resulted in our son River. Tiara

of birth experience I desired.

process again which resulted

were so compassionate and

did go through the egg retrieval in a genetically healthy embryo that is currently frozen.

partners) and for our second

Q: WAS THERE ANY

The nurses at the hospital

attentive. We have heard the horror stories and being not only black but in a same sex

relationship I wanted to do a

child we would do Traditional

OPPOSITION FROM FAMILY

IVF which means I would carry

OR FRIENDS?

home birth. However, Tiara

my own embryo. After Tiara's

egg retrieval process we opted

A: No. We have an AMAZING

for genetic testing on the

village which is made up of

relate to unexpected emergency

relatives and friends who we

embryos. Unfortunately, none of her embryos resulted as

genetically healthy which left us devastated because we could

not proceed with placement or

call our family.

Q: HOW DID THE MEDICAL PROFESSIONS TREAT YOU DURING THE PROCESS?

had some concerns as it would

situations so we agreed to allow me to labor at home and deliver at the hospital. Needless to say I am happy I listened to Tiara

and gave birth at the hospital because the overall care we received was top notch.

what the medical world calls

A: We were blessed with a

we would allow Tiara's body to

that cheered and supported

OTHER COUPLES OF THE

would move forward with my

Our IVF doctor has been named

KNOW ABOUT STARTING A

first child and try the reciprocal

reproductive endocrinology

PROCESS?

our second. Thankfully, we

U.S. News and World Report.

after genetic testing from my

office and share updates on

transferring one embryo which

she really listened to the type

"egg transfer." We decided that

team of medical professionals

Q: WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE

rest for a few months and we

us through our entire process.

LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY TO

egg retrieval process for our

one of the nation's leading

FAMILY AND THE ADOPTION

process again with Tiara for

and infertility subspecialists in

A: IVF is an emotional roller

resulted in 2 healthy embryos

We are still in contact with his

egg retrieval and continued with

River. Our OB is phenomenal and

your family. For example, in

the state of Texas, Tiara was

able to be listed on our son's

birth certificate but if anything would have happened to me

during delivery prior to our son being born what would have

happened??? We prepared a Will and Medical Power of Attorney prior to delivery to ensure that

her role could not be challenged by the medical professionals or family members.

Q: DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE MORE KIDS? A: Yes, we have 2 embryos frozen.

coaster but it is worth it. We highly recommend therapy

before starting the process and continuing throughout,

especially through postpartum.

SPECIAL FEATURE |

13

I

’ve hit that mid-life stage. You

can stare fear in the face, we

I mean: what’s my plan now?

the emotion overpowering fear

learn through experience that

that are here too know what

is love. So long as we live in fear,

What legacy am I leaving for the

we are unable to be free. I’ve

next generation? Honestly, a

always said that our wounds,

part of me just wants to set the

once healed, become gifts. The

cruise control and coast into

scars we bear are proof that

retirement. I’m tired. Let’s be

we can heal and be freed of the

honest: It is exhausting being

past. We learn in our weakness

in a marginalized group one’s

that love is the only steady

entire life in a conservative

force inside that cannot be

region of the country. After

overpowered. Loving myself and

spending most of my life

later, forgiving those who hurt

working to find peace, it’s

me, freed me. It not only freed

tempting to “tap out” and go

me, but it moved me to take a

take a seat on the porch and

stand for others.

watch. After all, I suffered the first twenty-something years

In the current climate with

learning to love myself, the

over 500 bills against LGBTQ+

next twenty defending my

dignity and rights and the last ten working to forgive the

persecutors. In many ways, I feel I’ve earned the right to sit down.

Finally, I’ve reached a place of

inner serenity and honestly, I’d like to stay here awhile. And

yet…. sitting on the porch while the gay and trans communities

get persecuted more than ever before is impossible. How can any of us with a conscience walk away from those who

need us now more than ever?

Sometimes our purpose in life

chooses us whether we want it

to or not. It also does not have a retirement age. It’s what I would say is better defined as one’s life driving one’s purpose.

Growing up, I thought I was

going to be a veterinarian just

like most gay girls. Then I moved on to thinking about being a

doctor. I knew I was going to do something in the medical field

and figured it would be the focal

vocation of my life. Not once did I think I’d be leading a Church

gay group, writing articles and

14 | SPIRITUALITY

persons actively being reviewed

What Happens When

WHEN PURPOSE

CHOSES YOU?

By Beth Trouy

speaking with Church leadership

no one could see. Being

affirming hospitality. But life

was not my fault but I needed

about the importance of

drives purpose. I hit a brick

wall in my twenties like many

other gay people growing up in

conservative faith communities and I had to shift my focus. My job was no longer the priority; getting mentally healthy and doing something about the

growing anxiety and rage in me became more important. It was the unhealed wound

wounded by those around me to own the task of taking time to get it healed.

The gift I believe for

marginalized persons, our super-power you might

say, is empathy. Having felt

such isolation, rejection and

sometimes sheer terror, we first develop a herculean heart that

learns to survive by overcoming fear with pure resolve. Once we

across the country, I know I can’t sit on the porch now. Standing up for my fellow LGBTQ+

brothers and sisters is more vital than ever. I must be visible to

defend their dignity but also, to

show them my own healed scars so they know they can survive

this too. We are all here together for a reason. None of us can get through life without the help of those around us. Empathy is a

force in itself; it paves the path for love to win. Eventually, love will win. We just have to refuse

to give in to fatigue and fearand keep standing. There will be

time enough in the afterlife to sit on the porch.

A purposedriven life is noble but a life driven by purpose is divine.

When The Church Is Not Safe

By Chisimdi Christiana

All are welcome here Come on in, lend your ear Black, White, every color of the rainbow Except you queers, leave all that on your table

Like the constrictor, we let you right in To squeeze the life out of you, and swallow you whole within.

We’ve earned your trust, consumed your faith.

It’s time to pay up, no matter 'bout your soul.

Besides, we made you sell that out, a long time ago.

While you cry, and wonder what you did wrong

With loving kindness, we draw you in

Got your focus on us, not Jesus’s face.

Now that we’ve got you, come on over here

Listening ear, to hear all your sin

Let us whisper something softly into your ear.

“You know Pastor loves you” You’ll remember how we say

You didn’t see us coming, how could you ever?

As your heart is turned inside out in a place you can no longer stay

A hospital, we are, for your soul We reel you in, but you’ll never know Your loyalty will be demanded Your disobedience reprimanded Individualism?

That’s a sin.

As we preached against everything we in secret, pleasure.

Don’t act shy now, don’t be so naive

Through your tears, you’ll hear our song

Use by Permission. © Copyright 2023

Chisimdi Christiana. All rights reserved.

What’d you think that money was for from our sleeve?

Put on this wig, so you’ll fit in.

We know your heart, your broken places Without us you're nothing, you need our good graces

SPIRITUALITY |

15

By Cicely S. Moore

I

t’s really strange and funny how

sports and most importantly

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

community. Fortunate enough to

JEREMIAH 29:11

things come back around full

circle without your permission

or without submission. Cicely S. Moore was born in a very small town in Louisiana, called Iowa.

Although she was considered a “country girl” she came from a

very large, yet loving family that

encouraged, inspired, and most of all loved without boundaries.

Cicely’s life consisted of a strong sense of family, education, being a servant to her

witness these family examples of altruistic generational acts;

Cicely’s character was built and the seeds of a servant leader were planted.

Entering a new phase of

adulthood, Cicely experienced a new awakening with self

and many others that were

friendships, experiences, and spiritual discernment, Cicely recognized the deficiency in

the LGBTQ+ community. She

then created an organization for Masculine Presenting

Lesbians. As a servant leader,

her main objective was to build a platform that offered a “safe haven” for all who identified

and desired to build lifelong bonds while serving others within the community.

Gamma Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. was founded in Baton

Rouge, LA on June 30, 2006.

The mission was, and still is,

to help transform individuals

16 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE

Apart from wearing her cape as a Humanitarian, Cicely is also the author of two published

books for kids and a Gratitude

and Manifestation Journal. Her first 2 children's publications

were released June 01, 2023.

Because of her impregnable

prayer books titled respectively, A Little Praying Black Girl and A

Little Praying Black Boy. Both are a book of prayers to start with kids at an early age.

Cicely’s latest work can

be located on her website,

Amazon, and your local library (Baton Rouge, Louisiana-

Goodwood Branch) for viewing

full circle is that just recently,

service. Cicely Moore is one of

four founders of the organization and is currently the President as she presides over more than 80 members and is growing.

In addition to Cicely’s natural leadership qualities, the

established humanitarian was blessed with a vision to start a movement. “MOORE Love,

Less HATE” was established in January 2022 and became an

LLC in June 2023. The purpose

of this movement is to promote

love, positivity, and peace. MLLH also offers a holistic approach to health that includes fitness, nutrition, ritual tools (sprays, bath salts, herb packets,

etc.) apparel, books, journals,

bring our communities together in doing so. We must break

down the barriers that stand between people by gender,

culture, race, religion, etc. and reflect on what reunites us.

purpose driven than career

integrity. As true servants in the

day by their continuous acts of

is how we use it and how we

and published two children’s

Most importantly, the meaning

to honor this commitment to this

it. What makes change positive

Lastly, Cicely has come to the

spirituality, Cicely has written

through culture, leadership, high

community, GAP has continued

we must welcome and embrace

love for children & firm

as well as purchasing. standards, professionalism, and

Change is inevitable; therefore,

behind things coming back

realization that her life is more driven. She has decided to take a leap of faith to become more of what God wants her to be

than what the world would like her to be. God’s purpose will

extend far beyond those that are given by man. Knowing God’s purpose for you and actually

living it out, prepares you for

eternity and he will reward those that diligently seek him.

Hats off to this Louisiana native who wears her PRIDE with PRIDE!

Cicely has asked herself, What is my purpose? It may have

taken years and a lot of soul searching but the one thing

that she has always held on to

was helping and loving others.

To some people it may not

ly ce

S. Mo o

re

different yet the same. Through

and lifestyle changes.

Ci

PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE

coaching, mindful meditations

be the typical career/ job nor

does it have a job description; however, its works of God.

Cicely’s belief is that she was put here to embrace change,

be an inspiration to others by

respecting humanity, and give

back to the community to pave the way for future generations to come. Most people don’t realize it, but we have the

greatest potential to effect

Cicely S. Moore is an author,

entrepreneur, philanthropist, coach and humanitarian.

Hungry for MOORE? Stay in the loop for additional events, projects, and

workshops by staying connected and following Cicely S. Moore via social media at:

change. We have the ability to

Cicely Moore

build public awareness,

moore-love-less-hate.square.site

spark powerful movements, and create a means of

understanding and acceptance.

@Kavalier01

ORGANIZATION WEBSITE gammaalphapsi.org

MEET THE WILSONS!

KRISTI AND KAREN WILSON BACKSTORY: KAREN - We met at Manhattan Sports Bar & Lounge. Kristi did not take me seriously when I told her I was interested in

her. As a matter of fact, she didn't even think I was a

lesbian!! I was persistent in shooting my shot! Lol

KRISTI - Yes, I thought she

was a straight woman trying

to dabble in the lady pond. I'm glad I was wrong though.

KAREN - After our first

WEDDING LOCATION Azul Beach Resort Puerto Morelos, Cancún PHOTOGRAPHER/ VIDEOGRAPER Candace Moore-Monie GOWN AND CAPE: Maggie Louise TUXEDO Eric Givens E.Givens Clothiers

date we were inseparable and now here we are.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

17

18| CONTENTS

THRIVING in spite of…

By Dr. Umieca N. Hankton

Thriving is a personal and

Openness, curiosity, and a will to

oneself to flourish, succeed,

to beginning and enduring the

and blossom in spite of the

presence of adversity. Thriving is intentional and does not

"happen to you;" you thrive by actively participating in your

life. To be clear, a commitment to thriving does not mean life

will not keep lif'ing. We cannot control if, when, or how life

happens; we can only control

commitment to thriving means that regardless of life's twists and turns, you will not cower, you will show up for yourself,

and you will healthily address what needs to be addressed.

Thrivers understand that

thriving does not manifest

overnight but recognize the

benefit of their commitment to creating a life of thriving.

Thriving requires dedication,

consistency, and a willingness to experience AND push

through discomfort to achieve the desired outcome. Those

who actively pursue thriving embrace the discomfort

of stretching because to

stretch means to grow or become more flexible.

Thriving also involves an

openness to explore areas

of your life that craves more attention, love, and healing.

journey to thriving. Remember, as you begin your thriving

journey, the initial steps may

stir up emotional discomfort.

AND discomfort is okay. You are resilient and will grow through this discomfort. You will learn an enormous amount about

yourself during this process.

Allow patience, empathy,

kindness, forgiveness, and nonjudgment to be present WITH you on this journey.

When you are ready to dive

deeper into what it personally means to you (and for you) to thrive, use the following

questions to explore areas of

your life in which you can begin taking the necessary steps to cultivate a life of thriving.

PHYSICALLY: Are you giving your body what it needs for optimal wellness (e.g., rest,

sleep, water, exercise, vitamins,

wellness (e.g., rest, peace, therapy, reiki, meditation,

forgiveness, a reading, kindness, positive affirmations, etc.)?

FINANCIALLY: How are

a iec

N. H a

ton nk

what we do when life happens. A

do hard heart work are essential

Dr. U m

purpose-filled declaration to

you managing expenses or

cultivating financial freedom?

INTERPERSONALLY: How’s

the quality of your relationships (e.g., social, platonic, spiritual, romantic, familial, etc.)?

SPIRITUALLY: Where do you gain strength? Do you feel a strong connection to self, a

higher power, nature, or the

Dr. Umieca N. Hankton (Dr. U.) is a licensed clinical psychologist with over a decade of mental health treatment experience across multiple treatment

settings. She is the founder

of UNH Counseling Services, a behavioral health agency

that deliberately focuses on

ancestors?

the psychological health and

you taking your medication(s)

When you commit to a thriving

college students, and clergy.

you last schedule a wellness

foot in front of the other each

massage, yoga, sex, etc.)? Are as prescribed? When did

visit (e.g., chiropractor, PCP,

mammogram, prostate exam, OBGYN, colonoscopy, vision, dental, etc.)?

PSYCHOLOGICALLY: What does your mind need for

life, you commit to putting one day and doing whatever is necessary to be the best

wellness of BIPOC, LGBTQ+,

To learn more about THRIVING, treatment options, and

services offered, please visit

www.UNHCounselingServices. com or call 901-300-9082.

version of yourself. How could your life be different if you committed to THRIVING

ON PURPOSE, ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS?

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

19

ar y

By B r

Ro

erick D. d od

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE A PURPOSEDRIVEN LIFE?

By Brodderick D. Roary

L

iving a life with meaning and purpose is one the

most important goals a person can strive for. A Purpose-Drive Life is one that is motivated by

higher values and goals beyond oneself. It provides a sense of meaning and fulfillment that

money, success, and pleasure alone cannot satisfy. Finding and living your purpose can lead to greater happiness, productivity, and positive impact on the world.

20 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE

Purpose comes from within. It

5. Practice gratitude.

requires soul searching, selfreflection, deep thinking to

discover what truly motivates

and drives you. Some questions to ask yourself include: What

am I passionate about? What do I want my legacy to be? What

cause do I want to serve? What values do I want to live by?

Purpose is unique for everyone, shaped by your interests, talents, experiences, and

beliefs. There is no right wrong purpose- it just needs to align with your authentic self.

Once you have identified

your purpose, living it out on a daily basis requires action,

commitment, and perseverance.

You must develop the discipline to make sacrifices, overcome

obstacles, and stay motivated

even during challenging times.

This is where values and

principles come into play to

guide you forward. Values like

honesty, compassion, courage, responsibility and integrity

become the foundation for your

purpose. They dictate the types of choices you make and how you interact with the world.

Living a Purpose-Driven Life means focusing your time

and energy on the things that truly matter. You evaluate

opportunities and decisions

based on whether or not they will help fulfill your purpose.

You fill your schedule with

activities that move you closer

to your goals rather than things that merely provide temporary pleasure. This requires

setting priorities, managing

distractions, and saying “No” to things that do not align.

Developing an “Attitude of

Living your purpose opens opportunities for personal

growth. You push yourself to

develop the knowledge, skills

and character needed to make a difference in line with your purpose. You gain wisdom

and insights that come from

preserving through challenges.

You build stronger relationships with like-minded people

who support and encourage you. Growth and purpose

go hand in hand, with one

fueling the other forward.

Living a Purpose-Driven Life

enables you to have a positive

impact on the world. When your purpose is bigger than yourself, you are motivated to contribute in ways that serve the greater

good. You find ways to give back through your work, volunteer efforts, mentoring others,

Purpose is Gratitude” can help keep you motivated and focused on unique for what matters most. Be thankful for each day. everyone, 6. Stay committed. Living shaped by a purposeful life is a daily your interests, choice. When obstacles arise, recommit to your vision and talents, take the next inspired action. experiences, 7. Connect with a community. Surround yourself and beliefs. with people who support your There is no right purpose and goals. Join or create a group that shares wrong purpose your interests and values.

—it just needs to 8. Reflect and adjust course.

Periodically reflect on your align with your progress and purpose. Make adjustments as needed to stay authentic self. aligned and motivated.

HERE ARE 10 STEPS TO LIVE A PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE:

or inspiring positive change.

1. Discover your calling.

you becomes your driving force.

identify your talents, passions,

Leaving a legacy that outlives

Take time for self-reflection to

The world needs more people

and values. What makes you

willing to live and die for a cause greater than themselves.

come alive? What problems do you want to help solve?

In finding and living your

2. Set meaningful goals.

significance to your one life on

set specific goals that help you

purpose gives meaning and

Once you identify your purpose,

this earth. It provides internal

achieve it. Make sure your goals

motivation and satisfaction that cannot be measured in money or material gains. While the

journey will have ups and downs, living a Purpose-Driven Life

enables you to make the most of your strengths, talents and time.

You ultimately leave the world a little better than you found it. I

align with your values and interests.

3. Take inspired action.

Don’t just dream about your

purpose, take concrete steps

daily to make progress toward

your goals. Start small and build momentum.

hope this inspires you to start or

4. Serve others. Find ways to

making a difference in the world.

to help and serve other people.

continue living with purpose and

use your talents and strengths

9. Accept it’s a journey.

Living purposefully is an

ongoing process. Celebrate

each milestone and learn from any setbacks along the way.

10. Keep it positive.

Stay focused on how you can make a difference

through your purpose. Avoid negative self-talk that can derail your progress.

Never stop learning. Continue learning and growing as a

person to improve your ability to live your purpose. Learning will keep you inspired and motivated.

The most important thing is to

live each day in alignment with

your sense of purpose and the positive impact you want to

make. Let that be your guiding light and motivation.

Look for opportunities to make a positive impact.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

21

The Key to

LOVE CAN BE IN A SONG

by David Wyley Long

O

f all the songs written

about love, two songs have

been a mainstay in my mind for

long as I can remember. One is a simple song about heartbreak, while the other one was a

Billboard success and raised the singer to super stardom.

The first, 10,000 times by Blu Cantrell tells a story about a

woman who has been in love 10,000 times and how love

hurt her 10,000 times. While it is obviously an overestimate

of my love affairs, I share the

sentiment Blu croons on this hit from her debut album released

in January 2001. While this high

count seems that many will give up after so many attempts, I am forever in hope for a timeless love. Another torch song that has influenced my love life in

ways I had no control, was the sad, yet poignant “Love is a

losing game” by the legendary

Amy Winehouse. This short and simple love song had lyrics I know all too well.

Though I battle blind Love is a fate resigned Memories mar my mind Love is a fate resigned Hear me clearly, I am a lover of love. Although I have

struggled to understand it,

and secure a forever love, I am

deeply invested in finding love,

although my many struggles and stumbles might cast a weary cloud on my heart.

This issue, I wanted to

understand the purpose of love.

Covering this issue’s theme, with a purpose driven life, I

wanted to tap into what makes love so amazing and rich. Why

do most get stuck, while many succeed and have successful relationships? The central

argument with people who are

single is “I don’t want to settle.”

This common mantra is tough

for me to process, as that is the

core of love. I believe that within partnerships and love affairs,

two people must create a love

foundation by adapting your life to someone else and allowing others to enter your life. In

some respects and in my own

humble opinion, you can’t have a dynamic relationship without

compromising something.

relationship to try a new

a powerful push to be open to

summer. Get offline, and go to

Settling is not a bad thing, but change and respecting each other, and our differences.

I shudder thinking that

Michele wouldn’t give Barack a chance because he was a city organizer from the Southside

of Chicago. She saw potential, and found a gem.

We live in a time where apps are the easiest and quickest way

to secure a fling, 1- or 2-night stand and potential partner.

The irony within these apps

is the 3 seconds you have to

impress someone enough to swipe to the left or message

you via their profile. Even with breaking through, most times people swipe left or message quite a few possible suitors before anything comes to

fruition. If we desire a purpose

driven life and can find the right person, you should consider all opportunities, including

way for the remainder of the the museum, a poetry slam,

or any sporting event. You will be amazed how many singles are at these events, and the more organic way to meet,

greet and learn someone. It is

nothing more depressing than meeting someone online, and they request more photos. To me, you are now auditioning, and the person has zero to

little desire to meet. I call these

people the most warped, as the initial photo(s) that caught your attention was not enough, and they need more to prove who

you are. Now, before you start talking about catfish, just ask for a video call. Even with an

android, you can do a free zoom call. But, by meeting someone

in person at a museum, they will look foolhardy if they request

more photos, as your presence should be good enough.

stepping out of your comfort

I end this issue’s article with

believe the apps hold merit in

unknown, but a wise person who

zone to find your “one.” While I securing love, it is very nuanced and can be overwhelming with all the profiles to view.

I implore all readers who are

seeking a love, and a successful

a quote on love. It is from an

showed the power of love within

a few lines. As I continue to seek and secure my forever love, I will continue to shine light on love

and life. Find me on Facebook at David Wyley Long, and tell me your thoughts, and if you are

single, look at my photos first, and let's have a conversation.

Thinking of you keeps me awake.

Dreaming of you keeps me asleep.

Being with you keeps me alive.

Be well, and take care.

Until next time.

22 | COVER STORY

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

23

Every body

deserves expert care.

All acrossTennessee, Tennessee, Allacross we provide we provideaffirming affirming and andinclusive inclusivecare carefor for patients patientsof ofall allgender gender and andsexual sexualidentities. identities.

Services Servicesinclude includegender gender affirming hormonetherapy, therapy, affirminghormone contraception, contraception,PrEP, PrEP,and and other othersexual sexualand and reproductive reproductivehealth healthcare. care.

866-711-1717 866-711-1717

PlannedParenthood.org/Tennessee PlannedParenthood.org/Tennessee