T
he moment for full marriage equality finally arrived on
June 26, 2015, with the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell
v. Hodges. In a landmark 5-4 decision, marriage equality
became the law of the land and
granted same-sex couples in all 50 states the right to full, equal recognition under the law.
Well times are different, but This profound day is still emblazed to be in New York City on that
Friday when it was announced.
I had just landed in New York, to celebrate gay pride, and I was so overjoyed at this decision.
While I had one failed marriage
under my belt, I was optimistic at this new opportunity at love. My first marriage was to a woman,
and with my pansexual identity, I was happy that my attempt at a
forever love would be recognized no matter the other person's
identity. That Sunday, I was given a beautiful opportunity to join
a local agency on their parade float. The sun was shining so
bright that day, and the pure love
of sexual freedom, partneredwith a new fresh perspective on
love and life was present with
everyone getting ready to ride
our floats down 5th Avenue. With the parade being over 3 miles,
there were a lot of floats, and the float I joined was in the middle. To this day, I will never forget
the outpouring of love, smiles,
laughs and good energy riding down that avenue, and the promise of a new day.
22 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
am still single.
While I am wise enough to
recognize that the challenges
under the pansexual scope, I
decision to live their lives, and
their conversation fulfilling,
differ. While I respect everyone’s “forever love” a relationship
doesn't automatically mean a
richer, fuller life. But, with rates
of depression, suicide and other social ills continuing to plague
our community, one argument
showcases the validity of having a successful partner.
that most people, regardless
I wrote this article for a number
difficulties finding successful
to find the solution to end my
of sexual orientation have
love partnerships, within the queer world, the challenges
are multi-layered. Additionally,
statistics show that more people are satisfied with the single life,
and have no desire for marriage. A new Pew Research Center
analysis of census data finds
that in 2019, roughly four-in-ten
adults ages 25 to 54 (38%) were unpartnered – that is, neither
married nor living with a partner.
This share is up sharply from 29% in 1990.2 Men are now more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years
ago. Combine two men, and those rates are more dire.
What is fueling this lack of
of reasons. For one, I wanted singlehood. I want to have
a partner, with the goal of a
marriage, as I believe the value
and easier, as you have someone to uplift and inspire. Yes, I know sometimes that has to happen
within, and the partner should not
leads the initial exchange? I
have seen a trend where “dick
pics” start conversation, and if love does happen, it is AFTER
SEX. While I recognize sex is an important part of a satisfying relationship, I think intimacy trumps sex each and every time. The core definition of
intimacy is close familiarity or
friendship; closeness. Can two men experience that by just
plenty of men and women who I have considered possible
mates and desired to make the next step for love. But,
without appropriate photo
portfolios and sex talk leading the way, I fall short. In my next article, I will reveal how love
should be treated, once you
find that one, while I continue my daunting search.
vid
Wyle y
your cup, but sometimes that
partner is the ice cube in your glass of life. With your liquid,
it can be a refreshing cocktail,
and make life worth living. If we
continue to not seek loving and deeper bonds with each other, and finding mates, what is our true purpose in life?
made us better citizens, and
without the baggage, and sex
me wanting more. I have met
fill your cup, but only enhance
I often wonder, does the sex ability for people to engage
their conversation leaves
and makes living more deeper
So, I ask, has eight years later
positivity movement give the
and I am quickly smitten when
of marriage is a beautiful thing,
partnering/marriage within
the gay men world. For one,
often meet people, and find
ng Lo
in my mind, as I was blessed
Fast Forward and 8 years later, I
engaging in oral sex? I beg to
By D a
Searching for Solutions to END MY SINGLEHOOD
and having the right to marry
fuller, or has it not had a ripple effect in other aspects of life? I am reminded of love in many
aspects of my life and have seen
plenty of successful and beautiful unions. I went to my first gay
marriage in 2016, and it was a
sight to behold. The love, that I
assumed was unattainable, was in front of my eyes, and applauded
and feted with grandeur. I left the ceremony inspired, and feeling great. I knew my partner was
looking for me, as I looked for
them. Being a man who identifies
David Wyley Long hails from East
Orange, New Jersey. He has been
working in social work for the past 17 years, earning his Credentialed Alcohol and Substance Abuse
Counselor training from New. York State in 2005. He has led various
outreach programs in Staten Island, Brooklyn, and Nashville, Tennessee.
David Wyley holds an Associate degree from Nashville State and a Bachelor's Degree in Urban Studies from Tennessee State University.
David Wyley loves the community he
serves. He leads with an unapologetic
approach with love and compassion. He is determined to find the best solutions for his people.
David Wyley Long believes everyone black and brown are important to
the fabric of America. Additionally, he understands the equity and
equality needed for his people to overcome systemic barriers that
impede growth. He walks and talks with a united passion to uplift his people to be unapologetic and
dynamic in everything they do. He is proud to serve and aims to be a part of the vision to end HIV/AIDS in his
community. He is the proud author of his first book, a memoir of his life so far: Up Against the Wind.
