TUV 2023 PRIDE ISSUE FEATURING ACTRESS CARTER THE BODY

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!

CARTER THE BODY! CARTER THE BODY known for her current role as “Trouble” in the BET Series “All the Queen’s Men.” CARTER’S credits include personal trainer, fitness model, actress, and a highly sought after celebrity influencer!

MAY - JUNE 2023

Loving Our LGBTQIA+ CHILDREN A Mother’s Day Message of Love & Support

+

The Dangers of ANTI-LGBTQ+ L AW S A daunting report everyone should be concerned about!

+

TH

Searching for Solutions to END MY SINGLEHOOD

E

P

RI

DE

ISSUE

VISIT TUVMAG.COM

One man’s quest to finding intimacy and marriage

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. � Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. � Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. � Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. � Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. � The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).

These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: � dofetilide � rifampin � any other medicines to treat HIV-1

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: � Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. � Have any other health problems. � Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby.

Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. � Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed.

Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: � Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. � BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.

Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION � This is only a brief summary of important information

about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. � Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. � If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. © 2023 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0250 04/23

2

| THE UNLEASHED VOICE

#1 PRESCRIBED

HIV TREATMENT* *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 01/20/2023.

ELIAS SWITCHED TO BIKTARVY Listen to REAL STORIES being told by REAL VOICES.

No matter where life takes you,

Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.

BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you.

Person featured takes BIKTARVY and is compensated by Gilead.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and at BIKTARVY.com.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

3

CON TEN TS

Ad Deadline June 12, 2023

Next Issue to July | August 2023

Carter the Body Photos by: Kelian Scott

08 Cover Story

Carter The Body Celebrity, Actress, & Model 06 | Editor’s Letter Gwendolyn D. Clemons GOT PRIDE?

07 | Self Help Advice Brodderick Roary Remember to Hold Space for You

14 | Spirituality Beth Trouy Planting Seeds with PRIDE

16

Health & Wellness Dr. Umieca Hankton, PhD Prepare the Others

15 | Community News TUV Editors Why Gay Prides Are Necessary

20 | Community News Monick Monell Evolve in Every Season

23 | Entrepreneurship Vontyna Durham Female to Watch in Transportation

12 22 Loving our

LGBTQIA+ Children 4 | CONTENTS

A Mother’s Day Message

Special Contributor David Wyley-Long Searching to End my Singlehood

Shawn M. Clemons Administration/ Fashion Director

Gregory Graphics Layout/Design

Brodderick Roary Special Contributor

Dr. Umieca Hankton Special Contributor

Whitney Johnson Chief Editor

Kyra Bonet St James-Cassadine Transgender Correspondent

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CONTENTS |

5

GOT PRIDE?

Looking back on when I was a little nappy-headed boy. Then my only worry was for Christmas, what would be my toy. Even though sometimes we wouldn’t get a thing, we were happy with the joy the day would bring. I wish those days could come back once more. Why did those days ever have to go?

Cause I love them so.

Stevie Wonder As we enter June which is officially dedicated as PRIDE

MONTH which is marked with a month-long observance in celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community and their

culture, history, and contributions. Also, this month will be a period where the LGBTQIA+ community will experience unprecedented attacks from all fronts about how we shouldn’t be celebrated!

Let’s keep the main thing, the main thing! PRIDE is

about self and learning to accept and love yourself

unconditionally! When I say love, I mean in the way GOD

loves you and that is with AGAPE LOVE. As I prepared to write this article, I was reminded by the song written by

Stevie Wonder titled “I Wish.” There was a time when I was unphased or influenced by what people thought about

me. I lived in a time and space once where my “little nappy

ON THE COVER: Carter The Body known for her current role as

“Trouble” in the BET Series “All the Queen’s Men,” and

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood

headed self” was filled with pride. However, I can honestly admit that I lost myself because of societal pressures, family rejections, society rejects about me identifying

as a lesbian. I lost connections and support because of

what people believed about my identity as opposed to the actual person that I was.

(2014), and Lipstick the Series

Fortunately, for me those days are gone, and I get to live

personal trainer, fitness model,

time I’ll keep declining until it’s exactly what I want, and that

(2105). Carter credits includes

actress, and a highly sought after celebrity influencer!

Gwendolyn D. Clemons MBA, PRC, Editor-in-Chief

6 | EDITOR’S LETTER

and experience unconditional love now. In this space and goes for everything and everybody!

So, for my LGBTQIA+ community, I ask you, do you have PRIDE? If not, I highly recommend disconnecting from

things and people that attempt to rob you of your humanity and right to live openly and free. Because GOD has already

ordered your steps, you just have to start moving your feet!

REMEMBER TO

HOLD SPACE FOR YOURSELF ar y

By B r

erick D. Ro

d od

Holding space is like a great

by being less reactive, more

know yourself and your dreams,

key to holding space for yourself

empathic, compassionate, kind,

your course if you have lost

journey home to your own soul. A is to see yourself with all your

faults and without judgment and criticism. To see yourself with

compassion, kindness, and love,

M

ost people would say they are good at supporting

their friends and family, but why are we so bad at being there for ourselves? We do it naturally for others, but what does it

mean to do it for ourselves?

For me, holding space means becoming the container to

experience myself; to grow, to feel, to express, to test out, to

live. It is being present, treating

yourself with care, consideration, kindness, compassion, and love.

Paying attention to the needs of

your body and mind, feeling your emotions, and listening to the

yearning of your soul. It’s a way of being, a lifestyle, a profound

choice, and a stand you take. It’s not a belief system but is rather

a way of being with yourself and meeting your own needs. This can be lifesaving in intimate

relationships, where we can ruin a good thing by trying to make the

other person meet all our needs.

We spend every minute of the

day with ourselves. How much of it is good, supportive, and kind?

responsive, more available,

present, balanced and at peace.

WAYS TO HOLD SPACE FOR YOURSELF

just as you would a friend. It’s

Embracing Your Imperfection.

inviting Cousin Self-Doubt, Mr./

what make you unique and can

making friends with your fear,

Your “imperfections” are

Mrs. Perfectionist, Brother/Sister

often be the gateway to your

Criticism, and Brother/Sister Put Down, to lunch or dinner.

Holding space for yourself

gives you a place to check your direction, to see who or what

is in the driver seat of your life,

greatest gifts. Self-acceptance is key to holding space for

yourself. The more you accept

and love yourself, the more you will look after yourself and value your own needs.

and to adjust your course when

Saying ‘No’. When you say ‘no’

awareness into your life, ensuring

self-esteem, you show yourself

you need to. It brings space and your life reflects your soul and

your longings, so you don’t have

to wake up at age fifty and realize

you don’t like who you’ve become.

If you truly want to help others, and make a positive impact on

the world, then learning to hold space for yourself, to befriend

and love yourself, is the greatest impact you could make on the

planet. You cannot hold space

for someone else if you cannot be with your own pain and hold

space for yourself. If there’s no room for you in your life, there

isn’t really any room for others.

When you’re kind to yourself

you impact the lives of others

to others, you strengthen your that you are important and

valuable. And you give others permission to do the same.

Develop Boundaries. When you know you have the strength to

stand up for yourself and stand in your own corner, you can actually love more freely. Boundaries do not need to shut out, they can strengthen bonds.

Communing with Yourself.

Being available to truly connect

and gives you space to correct your way. It helps you to shine a light on negative cycles

and habitual patterns. Simply

noticing what you ‘do’ is the first step to healing. Observing with

kindness, acceptance and humor is key to disrupting the cycle, as criticism keeps us locked into these negative patterns.

Reach out for Support. In

order to hold space for yourself, you must be able to reach out for support when you need it.

This strengthens your ability to be there for yourself. Knowing

your own limits and knowing you can get support if you need it,

makes your power to be there for yourself grounded and deeper.

Be Authentic. You know the truth. You know who you are.

Do not hide it from yourself.

Have the courage to see all of you; your gifts and your less than perfect bits. When you

see yourself with kindness and

compassion, you have the power to change aspects of yourself or your life that you dislike.

with yourself supports your

Develop Supportive Rituals

Listening. In stillness, we get

nurturing thing for yourself

time to be still, alone, to simply

to yourself that you will check in

overall health and wellbeing.

for Yourself. Do at least one

to know who we are. Taking

every day and make a promise

be, supports you in getting to

with you every day.

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

7

CARTER

THE BODY

I took a huge step forward in my life and refused to move backwards. I’m sticking to that vow I tweeted and making sure I put myself first at all costs.

8

| COVER STORY

Q: YOUR CAREER HAS SPANNED OVER THE LAST DECADE. WHAT HAS BEEN THE CATALYST FOR YOUR SUCCESS? A: Receiving the offer to play the role “Trouble” on “All the

Queen’s Men” is the biggest

catalyst for my success. Acting on this level is something I’ve

been wanting to do for years. I

put myself out there and worked hard on both myself and my

career, and finally a portion of my dreams came to reality.

Q: WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE SHOW THAT YOU THINK MOST SPEAKS AND APPEALS TO ITS GROWING AUDIENCE? A: “All the Queen’s Men” is relatable to dancers,

customers and anyone who has experienced a sense of drama.

The show has many heartfelt, sexy and taboo events that

Q: AS THE POPULAR CHARACTER “TROUBLE” IN ALL THE QUEEN’S MEN,

take place which keeps the

audience interested, curious and waiting for more.

HOW MUCH DOES THE ROLE RESONATE WITH YOU? A: It almost seems as though

the writers for “All the Queen’s Men” were secretly following

me all my life. “Trouble” highly resonates with me and my

entire life, as I started as an

exotic dancer at a male strip

club in Compton. Some of my

fellow colleagues didn’t like the

attention I was receiving. I stood out so much I started to travel internationally to perform for people across the globe.

Q: AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR YOU TWEETED, “I REFUSE TO DO AND GO THROUGH THE SAME SHIT AS 2022.” HOW’S YOUR 2023 SO FAR, ESPECIALLY IN TERMS

Q: WHAT ELSE IS ON THE

OF UPHOLDING THAT VOW

HORIZON FOR YOU? ARE

TO YOURSELF? WHAT ARE

THERE ANY UPCOMING

SOME THINGS THAT YOU’RE

PROJECTS YOU’RE EXCITED

MAKING SURE REMAIN IN

ABOUT AND ABLE TO SHARE

YOUR REAR VIEW?

WITH US?

A: 2023 has been exciting. I took

A: I recently became a series

and refused to move backwards.

so all my fans should be seeing

a huge step forward in my life I’m sticking to that vow I

tweeted and making sure I put

myself first at all costs. I realized

that I needed to do this for me to grow and be the person in both my career and my personal life

that I’ve always dreamed to be.

STAY CONNECTED carter_thebody carter_thebody Photo Credit: Kelian Scott

regular on “All the Queen’s Men” much more of “Trouble.” I also created the “Carterthebody” brand harness. I started this project alone, so it has been

a rollercoaster ride to say the least. It’s something I’m very passionate about, and it is

finally in production. I cannot wait to share my brand and ideas with the world.

COVER STORY |

9

CARTER

THE BODY Acting on this level is something I’ve been wanting to do for years. I put myself out there and worked hard on both myself and my career.

10 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE

I smoked menthol cigarettes. Now I have COPD from smoking.

Geri, age 58, Michigan

Geri smoked menthol cigarettes. Now she has COPD. There is no cure. She’s hoping to get on the lung transplant list, but she doesn’t know if she’ll be accepted in time.

You can quit smoking.

For free help, call

1-800-QUIT-NOW.

CDC.gov/quit

LOVING

OUR LGBTQIA+

By Editor-in-Chief Gwendolyn D. Clemons

CHILDREN E

ach Mother’s Day, TUV Magazine intentionally

features a section that highlights mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, or the matriarch that

provided support in the lives of

LGBTQIA+ individuals. We can’t

ever stop having these types of conversations because of the

harrowing stories of rejections

and even murder because of the identity of their child.

Parents play a crucial role in

shaping their child's life, and

when it comes to children who identify as LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual),

parents' love and support are especially critical. LGBTQIA

youth often face discrimination, rejection, and social isolation, which can cause significant emotional distress. Studies

have shown that supportive

12 | SPECIAL FEATURE

families can have a positive impact on LGBTQIA youth's

mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Therefore, it is essential for parents to love

and accept their LGBTQIA child unconditionally.

One of the most significant

challenges that LGBTQIA youth face is rejection from their

family members. Many young

people fear coming out to their parents because they worry

that they will not be accepted,

and this fear can be particularly

acute in cultures or communities where LGBTQIA identities

are not widely understood or

accepted. When parents reject their child because of their

sexual orientation or gender

identity, it can have devastating consequences. It can lead to

depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and it can damage

the parent-child relationship irreparably.

On the other hand, when

parents love and accept their LGBTQIA child, it can have a

profoundly positive impact on

their child's mental health and

well-being. Studies have shown that LGBTQIA youth who feel supported by their families

are less likely to experience depression, anxiety, and

substance abuse. They are also more likely to have a positive

self-image, better grades, and stronger social connections.

Loving and accepting parents can also help their child build resilience and cope with the

challenges of being LGBTQIA in a sometimes-hostile world.

Moreover, parents' love and

support are essential to the

coming-out process. Coming

Shunna & Mother Joy Vernon "As a kidney transplant recipient, two times over, I am proud to say

Dominique Price

my sweet, sweet Shunna. She has

& Mother Veronica McGhee

been by my side each step of the

"I may not say it enough, but you

way. She has the heart and soul

are everything to me. I cannot

imagine my life without you. You

Kyra Burns and Mother Renee Jewels

make me smile, happy, and proud.

"Having a child that you love is the most important

You've become my best friend

part of being a mother. And when you have a child

and I love you more than anything

that is part of the LGBTQIA+ community your life

in the world.

of a caregiver and for that I am

eternally grateful. My quiet girl, my strong one, my dependable

daughter is a blessing in my life." ‒ Mother Joy Vernon

is always filled with a bright light, a lot of fun and

My sweet, sweet baby girl.

fill with joy."

Love you!"

‒ Mother Renee Jewel

‒ Mother Veronica McGhee

out can be a scary and difficult

to learning from their child. Many

LGBTQIA youth, the support

LGBTQIA issues can also become

youth, and having a supportive

may not fully understand the

members can make all the

their child, which can help them

process for many LGBTQIA parent can make all the

difference. When parents love

and accept their child, it sends a powerful message that their child's sexual orientation or

gender identity is not a source of shame or disgrace. This can help their child feel more confident

and secure in their identity, which can, in turn, make it easier for them to come out to others.

It's also essential for parents

to educate themselves about

LGBTQIA issues and to be open

parents of LGBTQIA children

issues their child faces or may have misconceptions about

what it means to be LGBTQIA. By

educating themselves and being

open to learning from their child, parents can become better

allies and advocates. This can

help them provide the support

and guidance their child needs to navigate the challenges of being LGBTQIA.

In conclusion, the importance

of parents loving their LGBTQIA child cannot be overstated. For

and acceptance of their family difference in their mental health and overall well-being. Parents

who love and accept their child

unconditionally send a powerful

message that their child's sexual orientation or gender identity is

not something to be ashamed of.

This can help their child feel more confident, secure, and validated in their identity, which can, in turn, help them navigate the

challenges of being LGBTQIA in a

sometimes-hostile world. Parents who are open to learning about

better allies and advocates for

build stronger, more supportive relationships. Therefore, it is

essential for parents to love and accept their LGBTQIA child and

to provide them with the support

and guidance they need to thrive.

The pictures captured in this feature are one’s of love and

admiration between the mother and their LGBTQIA+ child. To

all the mothers and caregivers out there who give their child

unconditionally love, we salute

you and we all say THANK-YOU!

SPECIAL FEATURE |

13

Planting Seeds with Pride

By Beth Trouy

M

ost of my friends who I grew up with have left

the Church. Each has their

reasons, but my gay friends

have a laundry list to refer to

about why they will never come back. My best friend growing

up used to go every Sunday, but now, she doesn’t even know, or care, when it’s Easter. Between being told that only boys could

be altar servers (after she rode

her bike miles to Church to show up for altar server training one

morning) and the heap of shame piled on her for being gay, (and, well, the abuse scandal getting a bit too close to her friends),

well, it was a bellyful for her. She and so many others tell me they don’t need religion anymore.

Unfortunately, it’s not just

religion they leave behind. God gets the boot, too.

Us gay folks always seem to

have to choose what we can keep in our hearts and what

we have to let go of if we want

to be our true selves. It’s often choosing between family, the town we grew up in, the local Church, verses the “real” us, when we realized we were

14 | SPIRITUALITY

different. We’ve learned that we

As Pride Day comes around

for us to be close and share this

places without also being forced

each year and set up a booth

God to fade into the shadows.

can’t go back to those nostalgic to shed some of ourselves in order to be accepted again.

Whatever we choose, a part of

us gets ripped out of our hearts.

God usually becomes a casualty in the ripping.

You see, I know that nothing in any Church that brought

shame, self-hate, or rejection

had one iota to do with God. A local preacher once said that if anything makes you feel

bad about yourself, that’s not

coming from God. People have done an awful lot of damage in the name of God. People

calling themselves servants

of God have done the devil’s

work. Good and evil co-exist in

all places and churches are not

immune. The trauma of rejection tends to tie God to the building and the people who caused

the rejection, so God also gets blamed. For those who are

rejected, the thought of God’s house becomes a negative image and a bad memory.

Eventually, it’s just God with all the blame.

again, I’m reminded of why I go with my Church. I get asked a

lot why I put myself through this when most people there want

nothing to do with religion. My

hope is to get a chance to listen to their stories and maybe have a conversation. Sure, they tell

me they don’t need religion to have God. True, but also not

realistic. Remember that story

of the seed planted? You know, the one planted all by itself

that gets blown away when

the storms and winds come

because it didn’t have a deep root system? That’s us in this

world of distraction without a faith community surrounding us to keep us grounded.

God’s voice in our hearts gets

drowned out from the constant distractions. We don’t even

know when it happens. We just

wake up one day and don’t even remember when Easter was.

We are influenced heavily by

our environment, whether we

are willing to admit it or not. An

environment that doesn’t reflect

God’s love for us, God’s yearning

love with others—well, it causes What we focus on grows

and what we ignore, withers.

Faith, like knowledge, requires focused attention.

I go to Pride to water that seed that God planted in each of

us. God is nothing but love. If

any Church preaches hate or rejection, then leave. But go

out and find one that sounds

more like God. If I can just plant a seed in their broken hearts to

remind them that God never left them, if I can just help them see that God travels all this way to

Pride to meet them where they are, just to be sure they hear

it again: they are loved, just as they are in that moment, and

always have been. You see, this is the one constant in life: we

are loved and desired by God. It’s a simple message.

For as much as we need the gay community to help us

survive in this world, we need a faith community even more to keep us rooted in love

over fear in this world and whatever comes next.

WHY GAY PRIDES ARE NECESSARY

G

ay Pride is important for several reasons. Firstly,

it is a way for members of the

LGBTQ+ community to celebrate their identities and promote visibility and acceptance.

For many years, people who identified as LGBTQ+ were

marginalized, discriminated

against, and even criminalized for their sexuality or gender

identity. Gay Pride events offer an opportunity for people to

come together and celebrate

issues, Gay Pride events

pride in who they are.

understanding and support for

their differences, and to take Secondly, Gay Pride events

are an important way to raise

awareness about the ongoing

struggles that LGBTQ+ people face, including discrimination, violence, and inequality. By drawing attention to these

can help to increase public the LGBTQ+ community.

Thirdly, Gay Pride events

provide a sense of community and belonging for LGBTQ+

people. Many people within the

LGBTQ+ community experience social isolation and alienation

and may feel like they are alone in their struggles. Gay Pride events offer a space where people can come together,

connect with others who share similar experiences, and build supportive networks.

Finally, Gay Pride events are a way to push for change

and advocate for LGBTQ+

rights. By coming together and raising their voices, members

of the LGBTQ+ community and their allies can call for greater equality, representation, and

protection under the law. This can help to create a more

just and equitable society for all people, regardless

of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

15

e ca N . H i m

forthcoming. WE are replaceable on our jobs, ask brother Jamie

Foxx. WE are irreplaceable to our loved ones. Since the start of the year, I've noticed a significant increase in people calling to

start therapy because they've

"reached a breaking point" or feel as though they are "drowning."

This declaration leads me to explore factors contributing

to their sense of drowning and self-care practices. Take a

moment and guess the factor

most commonly identified as a

source of relentless stress. If you guessed work, then you guessed

an k ton

By Dr. U

PREPARE THE OTHERS

Public Service Announcement

correctly. Unfortunately, what

is also common is the belief in lack of time or the inability to

slow down momentarily to allow themselves to recharge or care for themselves healthily.

16 | HEALTH & WELLNESS

You can't perform at your most

optimal level if you're operating

on fumes. Your mind needs rest.

Your body needs rest. Your soul needs rest. Involuntary rest

due to illness isn't the same

as voluntary rest. When you're

forced to rest due to an illness, your body shifts to recovery

mode and goes into overdrive,

working to replenish all it lost due

to illness or injury. However, when you consistently, strategically,

and voluntarily rest your body, you experience the optimal

benefit because your body isn't trying to recover from a deficit.

When was the last time you

called your place of employment and said, "I'm calling out today?"

Seriously, do you recall the last

time you decided to take the day off, not because you felt bad but

M 25

1. Arrange a spa day

14. Volunteer

2. Take a yoga/spin class

15. Send “thinking of you” cards to folks needing a reminder that they matter too.

wellness? When did having perfect

3. Garden/purchase fresh flowers or your space

PTO become a flex? Is it an actual

4. Invite a friend to lunch/breakfast

attendance or an abundance of

flex, a symptom of unhealthy work boundaries, a manifestation of

trauma, or a signal for potential

burnout? Perfect work attendance

5. Sleep/Get more rest 6. Journal/Create positive affirmations 7. Shop (responsibly)

and poor health shouldn't be a

8. Attend a wellness retreat

your title as a team player, or how

10. Explore how you want to live differently

your profession. Perfect work

11. Attend PRIDE events or other gatherings that make your soul feel alive

measure of good work ethics,

committed you are to advancing attendance may reflect poor

boundaries, de-prioritization of self, and an increased risk for severe

physical and psychological injury.

As we approach this upcoming

9. Visit a new coffee shop

12. Go to the movies 13. Convince a few of your friends to take a mental health day and you all drive to the nearest beach

16. Schedule a full-body or chair massage 17. Spend time outdoors/commune with nature/go for a hike 18. Redecorate a small space in your home and designate it as a space for wellness 19. Disconnect from energy zappers 20. Check-in with your body and determine what it needs for wellness 21. Attend a therapy appointment 22. Pray/Meditate 23. Create something/Build a business or brand 24. Research other job opportunities 25. REST and decide when you will schedule your next mental health day!

season of freedom (Juneteenth) and love (PRIDE), offer yourself

the liberating gift of removing the shackles of sacrificing yourself for the people and places of

employment who will not hesitate to replace you. Instead, commit to loving yourself differently by

establishing healthy boundaries at work and with others. If you

can't decide what to do on your mental health day, the short

answer is REST. However, if you

want to leave the house and move your body, consider a few of the

I

!

because you wanted to prioritize

en

lth Wellness a e Da lH ta y

as de

Let’s be clear, having perfect attendance isn’t the flex one thinks.

When we don’t voluntarily make time for wellness, we involuntarily agree to manage preventable illnesses later.

Let’s be clear, having perfect attendance isn’t the flex one thinks. When we don’t voluntarily make time for

wellness, we involuntarily agree to manage preventable illnesses later. Imagine missing out on a planned event because your body could no longer function due to

neglect. Grab your calendar. Pick a wellness day. Set

the alarm to wake early that day to give your job time

to PREPARE THE OTHERS. When someone answers the phone, say, “I’m requesting a sick day to recharge. I will

return tomorrow and manage the items on my task list.”

Dr. Umieca Hankton (Dr. U.) is a licensed

clinical psychologist with over a decade of mental health treatment experience

across multiple treatment settings. She is

the founder of UNH Counseling Services, a behavioral health agency that deliberately focuses on the psychological health

and wellness of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, college

students, and clergy. To learn more about treatment options and services offered,

please visit www.UNHCounselingServices. com or call 901-300-9082.

Unless your job specifies in writing that sick days are only reserved for physical health concerns, you can take a sick day to care for your mental health.

following next ideas.

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

17

18| CONTENTS

Evolve in every

I

was asked this question at

an event. Was there anyone

who was older which inspired

you that was in the LGBTQIA+

community? I mean in a way you

By Monick Monell

٠ The Greatest Generation Born 1901-1924.

٠ The Silent Generation Born 1925-1945

learned mannerisms or asked

٠ The Baby Boomer

of finding yourself. Such as, how

Born 1946-1964

for advice in your coming of age do I deal and where do I go if my

family does not accept me? How do I deal with friends who push away from me once they are

against who I am due to religion

Generation

٠ Generation X

Born 1965-1979

٠ Millennials

Born 1980-1994

or what they were taught from

٠ Generation Z

come out of the closet every

٠ Gen Alpha

home? Will I forever have to time I meet someone at the

workplace or even in general?

I saw the importance of

LGBTQIA+ safe spaces and organizations. Safe spaces

are important in our journey especially having people of every generation in a room:

Born 1995-2012 Born 2013 – 2025

We must remember the people

who fought before laws were in place. Remember how others

saw life through their eyes. What does freedom look like being in

this world? What does resilience truly mean to us? Physical

resilience, mental resilience,

emotional resilience, and social resilience. They have a saying” those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.”

20 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE

The importance of our words, our stories, our past and our present is as important as our future. It

is 2023 and as I am writing this

piece there are at least 471 antiLGBTQIA bills that have been introduced. We have 39 bills

targeting Drag performances that our legislators are also

trying to pass. Also, bills being

proposed are attacking medical care and worldwide rights for

LGBTQIA+ people, it is as if trying to erase us as a people.

For 2023, Pride means

community, village, resources but also, I learned that it is

important to listen and speak

to our ancestors for answers.

I have learned our ancestors are here right now! All of us

in every generation have the

heart to change the world and

to remember we are evolving in every season. I want you all to walk into different rooms and

come together like we used to in all generations. When new

We must remember the people who fought before laws were in place.

Remember how others saw life through their eyes.

headlines and different politics,

opportunities for in-person

As the 300 anti-education bills

try to censor us. Remember

building, ensure the handing

to include a surge in curriculum

business, science come and to pick up a book about our

history, remember to go back

and find answers and remember inspiration comes in us sharing our stories. Because the

answers for change are in us!

If you are looking for spaces and resources to come

together, please connect with your organization or

with someone you connect that you feel safe with.

Living in New York City I am provided with joining such

spaces as “The Generation Project ''. The Generations

Project is a place for LGBTQIA+ to meet and connect across all generations and backgrounds, to share and preserve our

history and tell our stories in

our own voices. By revitalizing the oral tradition, we create

gathering and community-

down of LGBTQ+ experiences

to future generations and uplift marginalized voices.

Also, I am a member of “The

Masculine Identified Lesbians of Color Collective’s” where

are being introduced this year censorship bills, which would restrict instruction around

gender and sexuality in public

schools. A new category of bills referred to as “forced outing”

bills are also being introduced.

the mission is to sponsor

In every pride celebration

and workshops, with the

lesbian, gay, bisexual, and

quarterly discussion groups distinct goal of empowering a marginalized community of women who in some

form or another have or will

share similar experiences of

rejection or judgment simply because of their identity as

Masculine Identified Lesbians of Color. In addition, to

create an intergenerational

bonding process, along witha sense of mental and physical balance. MILCC's face today

and options to enact change to the stigmas associated with being a MILCC.

remember the impact that transgender individuals have

had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. Trans rights, Human rights, and LGBQ rights makes us all question where we fit in this world. I want us all to know we do not need permission to exist.

So, I will write this down one more time. “Evolve in every

season” May not every story

of our existence be of what is

trying to erase us, but let every

story be about our resilience and

STAY CONNECTED Brooklyn_Moz Monick Monell Photo Credit: Catitude Photography

the generations to come.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

21

T

he moment for full marriage equality finally arrived on

June 26, 2015, with the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell

v. Hodges. In a landmark 5-4 decision, marriage equality

became the law of the land and

granted same-sex couples in all 50 states the right to full, equal recognition under the law.

Well times are different, but This profound day is still emblazed to be in New York City on that

Friday when it was announced.

I had just landed in New York, to celebrate gay pride, and I was so overjoyed at this decision.

While I had one failed marriage

under my belt, I was optimistic at this new opportunity at love. My first marriage was to a woman,

and with my pansexual identity, I was happy that my attempt at a

forever love would be recognized no matter the other person's

identity. That Sunday, I was given a beautiful opportunity to join

a local agency on their parade float. The sun was shining so

bright that day, and the pure love

of sexual freedom, partneredwith a new fresh perspective on

love and life was present with

everyone getting ready to ride

our floats down 5th Avenue. With the parade being over 3 miles,

there were a lot of floats, and the float I joined was in the middle.

To this day, I will never forget

the outpouring of love, smiles,

laughs and good energy riding down that avenue, and the promise of a new day.

22 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE

am still single.

While I am wise enough to

recognize that the challenges

under the pansexual scope, I

decision to live their lives, and

their conversation fulfilling,

differ. While I respect everyone’s “forever love” a relationship

doesn't automatically mean a

richer, fuller life. But, with rates

of depression, suicide and other social ills continuing to plague

our community, one argument

showcases the validity of having a successful partner.

that most people, regardless

I wrote this article for a number

difficulties finding successful

to find the solution to end my

of sexual orientation have

love partnerships, within the queer world, the challenges

are multi-layered. Additionally,

statistics show that more people are satisfied with the single life,

and have no desire for marriage.

A new Pew Research Center

analysis of census data finds

that in 2019, roughly four-in-ten

adults ages 25 to 54 (38%) were unpartnered – that is, neither

married nor living with a partner.

This share is up sharply from 29% in 1990.2 Men are now more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years

ago. Combine two men, and those rates are more dire.

What is fueling this lack of

of reasons. For one, I wanted singlehood. I want to have

a partner, with the goal of a

marriage, as I believe the value

and easier, as you have someone to uplift and inspire. Yes, I know sometimes that has to happen

within, and the partner should not

leads the initial exchange? I

have seen a trend where “dick

pics” start conversation, and if love does happen, it is AFTER

SEX. While I recognize sex is an important part of a satisfying relationship, I think intimacy trumps sex each and every time. The core definition of

intimacy is close familiarity or

friendship; closeness. Can two men experience that by just

plenty of men and women who I have considered possible

mates and desired to make the next step for love. But,

without appropriate photo

portfolios and sex talk leading the way, I fall short. In my next article, I will reveal how love

should be treated, once you

find that one, while I continue my daunting search.

vid

Wyle y

your cup, but sometimes that

partner is the ice cube in your glass of life. With your liquid,

it can be a refreshing cocktail,

and make life worth living. If we

continue to not seek loving and deeper bonds with each other, and finding mates, what is our true purpose in life?

made us better citizens, and

without the baggage, and sex

me wanting more. I have met

fill your cup, but only enhance

I often wonder, does the sex ability for people to engage

their conversation leaves

and makes living more deeper

So, I ask, has eight years later

positivity movement give the

and I am quickly smitten when

of marriage is a beautiful thing,

partnering/marriage within

the gay men world. For one,

often meet people, and find

ng Lo

in my mind, as I was blessed

Fast Forward and 8 years later, I

engaging in oral sex? I beg to

By D a

Searching for Solutions to END MY SINGLEHOOD

and having the right to marry

fuller, or has it not had a ripple effect in other aspects of life?

I am reminded of love in many

aspects of my life and have seen

plenty of successful and beautiful unions. I went to my first gay

marriage in 2016, and it was a

sight to behold. The love, that I

assumed was unattainable, was in front of my eyes, and applauded

and feted with grandeur. I left the ceremony inspired, and feeling great. I knew my partner was

looking for me, as I looked for

them. Being a man who identifies

David Wyley Long hails from East

Orange, New Jersey. He has been

working in social work for the past 17 years, earning his Credentialed Alcohol and Substance Abuse

Counselor training from New. York State in 2005. He has led various

outreach programs in Staten Island, Brooklyn, and Nashville, Tennessee.

David Wyley holds an Associate degree from Nashville State and a Bachelor's Degree in Urban Studies from Tennessee State University.

David Wyley loves the community he

serves. He leads with an unapologetic

approach with love and compassion. He is determined to find the best solutions for his people.

David Wyley Long believes everyone black and brown are important to

the fabric of America. Additionally, he understands the equity and

equality needed for his people to overcome systemic barriers that

impede growth. He walks and talks with a united passion to uplift his people to be unapologetic and

dynamic in everything they do. He is proud to serve and aims to be a part of the vision to end HIV/AIDS in his

community. He is the proud author of his first book, a memoir of his life so far: Up Against the Wind.

One To Watch In

Von ty

Trucking and Transportation ham Dur

na

Xcelente Trucking is a

Federal Motor Carrier Safety

Administration (FMSCA) traveling training course provider and

certified Minority Woman Owned

Business specializing in providing top-tier Commercial Driver

License (CDL)Training. Minority Woman Owned Small Business with a National & State accreditation.

O

ur selection for “One to

Watch” is Vontyna Durham

from Memphis, TN. We selected Vontyna because of heroism and dedication to changing

the paradigm in Trucking and

Transportation. As the founder of Xcelente Trucking Vontyna has

created a new avenue for women, minorities, and reentry path for

those seeking a rewarding career

established Safe Driver

Apprenticeship Pilot Program (SDAP). This three-year

the Road (WIT).

• Entry- Level Driver Training ELDT Class B Theory

• Hazmat Endorsement • Into to Dispatching

• Corporate Training • Job Placement

aged 18-20 explore interstate trucking careers and helps

trucking companies hire and train new drivers through an

apprenticeship pilot program.

Trucking is an FMSCA traveling

Women in Trucking’s Redefining

the Wheel

program helps individuals

Minority Apprenticeship

Watch in Transportation by

ELDT Class A Range & Behind

• Trucking Business Consulting

the FMCSA's recently

We offer advanced truck

as the 2023 Top Woman to

• Entry-Level Driver Training

Xcelente is a partner of

Vontyna Durham was recently

Tennessee. She was also named

ELDT Class A Theory

SERVICES OFFERED

CLASS A CDL TRAINING

in Trucking in the State of

• Entry- Level Driver Training –

YOUTH SERVICES

in the trucking industry.

awarded the First Female

COURSES OFFERED

driver education. Xcelente

training course provider in the State of Tennessee.

CAREER DEVELOMENT We help our students develop their career pathways and

FOLLOW XCELENTE TRUCKING Xcelente Trucking xcelente.org (901) 713-8362

navigate the professional truck driving industry.

Xcelente provides mentorship, job shadowing, and advanced skill building programs for

the next generation of truckers and operators.

THE UNLEASHED VOICE |

23

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