[The Stute] February 14, 2020 (Issue 14, CXVII)

The official newspaper of Stevens Institute of Technology, and creator of Attila the Duck.

SPECIAL EDITION Disclaimer: This issue includes content about mental illness, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, and other topics that might be sensitive or triggering to some readers.

TheStute StevenstheStute

Volume CXVII No. 14

New Stute every Friday!

February 14, 2020

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HOW I CONQUERED THE WAR WITH MYSELF BY NATALIE TODARO I don’t remember much from my first ever therapy session. If anything, I’m sure some feelings of nervousness crept through me while I tried to imagine what it would be like. I really didn’t know what to expect at all. I mean, I was only 12 years old. I grew up with my older sister battling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I was nine years old when her symptoms began to show, and needless to say I was confused looking in from the outside. And while I was trying to navigate the things that were happening with my family, I was also being bullied at school. I was constantly teased for my weight, and it took a toll on my mental health at such a young age. At nine years old I don’t think anyone actually has a conscious concept of their personal body image. This rang true for me, and since I didn’t understand my own body yet, I believed everything bullies said about me. Because who was I to say they were wrong? Everything was really hard to handle. Knowing that my sister was sick made me want to suppress any negative emotions I felt and instead only show happiness; I didn’t want to burden my parents with another child who needed help. I never shared the internal battle I was fighting. I did what you should never do: I kept it all inside. So much so that I began to struggle with suicidal ideation and self harm. I was at war

SEE NATALIE PAGE 11

SHOULD YOU GO TO CAPS? BY ALYAA ELKHAFIF

DIGITAL DRAWING BY NATALIE TODARO.

WHY SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS? BY JOHN HORGAN The mind-body problem is the deepest mystery of existence. Narrowly speaking, it asks how a brain — a mere chunk of matter, a bundle of quarks and electrons — makes a mind. It also encompasses free will, morality, and the meaning of life. Simply put, the mind-body is about who we really are, can be, and should be. Mental illness poses the mindbody problem in an especially stark manner. How should we see depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, addiction, and other afflictions of the mind? Are they best understood as

afflictions of the brain, the mind, or the soul? Do they spring from faulty genes, neurotransmitters, hormones? From abusive upbringings, traumatic events? Or from some combination of nature and nurture? When I discuss these issues in my science-writing seminar here at Stevens, I note that modern psychiatry has embraced the physiological paradigm of mental illness. It stems from flawed genes or neurochemistry and is best treated with physiological remedies, such as antidepressants. This emphasis is good in some ways, because it reduces the stigma of insanity. It’s not your parents’ fault, or a failure of

character or willpower. It’s a disease, like diabetes. But this view can lead to despair, I point out, if you think that biology is destiny. Also, medications are far from a panacea. That’s why psychological and even spiritual therapies persist, from cognitive-behavioral therapy to mindfulness meditation. So what is the evidence for various theories and therapies for mental illness? And why do attitudes toward mental illness vary so widely across eras and cultures? Years ago, I started encouraging students in my writing seminar to write about these issues — and, if they chose, to describe how mental illness has

PAGE 2 Inside The Stute

PAGE 7 RAs and Mental Health

PAGE 3 Student Organizations and Mental Health

PAGE 10 Personal Stories

PAGE 4 The Survey Project

PAGE 11 Personal Stories

PAGE 6 Student Organizations and Mental Health

PAGE 12 Relax

affected them or people they know. This personal approach, I said, can be a good way to hook readers emotionally and pull them into your story. Some students report on mental illness in a conventional, objective way, as if they were writing about genetically-modified food or nuclear energy. But many take advantage of the personal, first-person option, and their papers invariably surprise and dismay me. Some students who seem calm and easy-going on the outside reveal that they are struggling to hold themselves together.

SEE MIND-BODY PAGE 11

The issue of an individual’s mental health is not only a complex one, but it can be a rather sensitive topic to address with a friend or significant other. Unlike with physical wellbeing, mental health research and awareness have been evolving slowly. It was not until 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the largest psychiatric organization in the world, removed homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. Although strides have been made in the realm of mental health, there is still a prevailing stigma surrounding the subject. Jokes about suicide are unfortunately pretty common, but the people who indulge in such dark humor are the same people who are incapable of having real conversations about this subject. They will go as far as to claim that joking about mental health is their way of coping; this, however, fails to account for how other people will interpret the joke. All of the preceding factors, coupled with a lack of awareness and cultural and religious impediments, make the answer to the question “Should I go to CAPS?” that much harder to answer. On their website, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) lists a number of symptoms associated with depression. However, one cannot simply self-diagnose or seek other people’s assessments as they are not medically licensed professionals. So, no, your friends and loved ones should not be the ultimate deciding factor when attempting to answer this onerous question. For the intent and purpose of this article, I will be only

SEE GO PAGE 6

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February 14, 2020

Inside The Stute FAST FACTS

Editorial

INTRODUCING A SPECIAL EDITION:

THE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE BY AUDREY DSOUZA - ILLUSTRATION BY YOUNGCHEOL LEE

More than 43 million Americans struggle with mental illness.

One in five young people (age 13-18) has or will develop a mental illness in their lifetime.

56% of American adults with mental illness did not receive car in the last year.

Members of LGBTQ+ community are almost three times more likely to experience a mental health condition, such as major depression or generalized anxiety disorder.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

Last year for Valentine’s Day, we featured uplifting messages from members of the Stevens community. Although cute and well received, this year we wanted to use our platform to do something even more meaningful. In this 12-page Special Issue, we are diving deep into the Mental Health conversation at Stevens. Those who have been at Stevens for a few years and read The Stute may be up to speed many of the the topics: the formation of a Task Force, the faculty modules, changes to CAPS, increased programming and hiring of a wellness educator. It would be a lie to say nothing has changed since two years ago. There are more resources and more programming available to students, which increases the visibility of these services to students, increasing their chance of seeking help. Yet, many students seem to feel the same way about the resources

available to them – that they are not enough. This is not the fault of people who work here or any specific person, but rather the responsibility of us all – resources can only be effective if we give them a chance. What are we doing differently to help our friends feel safer and enabled to seek help? How are we treating our closest friends and how are we treating strangers? Are we noticing the signs of them crying for help and proactively trying to connect them to the resources they need? Are we taking our own struggles seriously, or are we dismissing them to be dealt with later? The evening that I heard Aileen had passed will be engraved into my memory forever. I was at the Stute office, which at the time was in Jacobus. From our office windows we always had a clear view of the Torch Bearer statue; that night, that

CONTACT COUNSELING SERVICES Location: Student Wellness Center 2nd Floor Hours: Mon. - Fri.: 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Email: caps@stevens.edu Phone: (201) 216-5177 Appointments can either be made in person from 9.m. to 5 p.m. weekdays, or by calling at (201) 216-5177.

view was much different. Dozens of students were huddled around the statue, under umbrellas because it was raining heavily, crying together, comforting each other, remembering her impact and existence. I remember feeling that even the universe was mourning that night, and despite not even knowing her personally feeling depressed for months, essentially every time I walked past the statue. Mental health is not a made up issue that a few people are just hyping up. In less than a week and with minimal advertising, 120 students responded to my survey and around 30 people to my library project. People care about these aspects of our school because they care about each other. I hope that my voice and the voices of those who had enough courage to share their stories in this paper can be acknowledged and used to help more students receive even more

care. Our part as the media is to investigate and report what is really going on; light the fire and start the conversation. The next steps are up to you. I hope that administrators do care about improving the student experience and improving students’ mental well-being, and will try harder to connect with more students over student problems. I hope students will see this week’s paper, read it cover to cover (or online), find comfort in it, and take away the importance of seeking help. We are all yearning for meaning, and you are never alone in your struggles. I hope that this project will be our most read, at least of this year. All of the pieces are truly eye opening, news pieces very informational. Valentine’s Day is meant for cherishing your loved ones – hold your friends close and family closer this weekend.

HELPING SOMEONE

The CARE Team is not an emergency resource and helps students who may be at risk of a mental health concern. Submit a CARE report for you or a friend at stevens.edu/report. HOTLINES National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1 (800) 273-8255 Hudson County Rape Crisis Center 1 (201) 795-5757 Eating Disorders Helpline 1 (800) 841-1515 LGBTQ Suicide Hotline (Trevor Project) 1 (866) 488-7386 Stevens Campus Police 1 (201) 216-5105

More than 1 in 4 adults living with serious mental illnesses also struggles with substance abuse.

Anxiety is the top presenting concern among college students (41.6%), followed by depression (36.4%), and relationship problems (35.8%), according to the American Psychological Association.

ABOUT

How can you help a friend? BY MATTHEW CUNNINGHAM AND AMERICAN FOUNDATION FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION Stevens Institute of Technology is more than a university, and we are more than its students. We are a community of friends, colleagues, brothers, and sisters, and we have an obligation to look out for each other. From time to time, check up on the people closest to you. Remind someone how much you love them. Spread positivity. And most of all, stay aware of the available resources. If you suspect that a friend is experiencing extreme distress, know about warning signs, risk factors, and how to best approach someone.

CARE TEAM The Stevens CARE Team responds to student behavior that is harmful and provides support that a student needs including academic, mental health, medical, or other resources depending on the nature of the problem.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students.

WARNING SIGNS

RISK FACTORS

HOW TO APPROACH

TALK If a person talks about killing themselves, feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, being a burden to others, feeling trapped, and unbearable pain, then it might indicate concerning or suicidal behavior.

HEALTH FACTORS Some people might be more at risk than others because of genetic factors, like depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse problems, or personality disorders. Athletes should be cautious after traumatic brain injurys, like concussions.

HAVE AN HONEST CONVERSATION If you think someone is thinking about suicide, assume you are the only one who will reach out. Here’s how to talk to someone who may be struggling with their mental health: 1. Talk to them in private. 2. Listen to their story. 3. Tell them you care about them 4. Ask directly if they are thinking about suicide. 5. Encourage them to seek treatment or to contact their doctor or therapist. 6. Avoid debating the value of life, minimizing their problems, or giving advice.

BEHAVIOR Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss, or change: • Increased use of alcohol or drugs • Looking for a way to end their life. • Withdrawing from activities • Isolating from friends • Sleeping too much or too little • Fatigue MOOD People who are considering suicide ofen display one or more of the following moods: depression, anxiety, loss of interest, irritability, humiliation, agitation, and shame.

ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS • Access to lethal means, including firearms and drugs • Prolonged stress, such as harassment, bullying, relationship problems, or unemployment. • Stressful life events, like rejection, divorce, financial crisis, other life transitions, or loss HISTORICAL FACTORS A person who has had previous suicide attempts, family history of suicide, or childhood abuse or neglect is at a higher risk of harming themselves.

IF A PERSON IS CONSIDERING HARMING THEMSELVES • Take the person seriously. • Stay with them. • Call the National Suicide Hotline. • Escort them to mental health services.

THIS SPECIAL ISSUE is dedicated to mental health at Stevens Institute of Technology. Our goal is to broadly encourage students to seek out help for concerns of all sorts, from test anxiety and minor stress to extreme depression and panic attacks. Getting ahead of a concern before it spirals into a problem is the best way to take care of your mental health. STAFF ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Editor-in-Chief: AUDREY DSOUZA Business Manager: MARK KRUPINSKI Managing Editor: MATTHEW CUNNINGHAM Outreach Chair: ANDREW KINNEY Layout Editor: NATALIE TODARO Social Media: ELINA TUDER Systems Admin: CHARLES ZWICKER Webmaster: JOANA FARDAD Copy Editor: ANGELINA ZACCARIA Sports Editor: TREVOR DAMEIKA Science Editor: DYLAN JAMES MOON Contributers: Aleksandar Dimoski, Alex Murtagh, Alyaa Elkhafif, CharlesZwicker, Divya Unnam, E.J. Hannah, Frances Smalley, Grace Miguel, John Horgan, Julia Wierzbicki, Liam McMurtry, Monika Geslak, Nasir Montalvo, Pooja Rajadurai, Tyler Kui Special Thanks: DR. ERIC ROSE, SEAN QUINN, AMERICAN FOUNDATION FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION, AND CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION. Please direct any questions, comments, or clarification requests to eboard@thestute.com. © The Stute 2020

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue TACKLING MENTAL HEALTH

AS A STUDENT ORGANIZATION BY GRACE MIGUEL

PERSONAL STORY

IF I ONLY KNEW WHAT I KNOW NOW BY MATTHEW CUNNINGHAM

For the majority of people, college is a slew of new experiences. New environments, new people, new regimens. It’s stressful. Some people may experience more challenges than others, but it is important to know that mental health is something that should not be shied away from. In the past two years, student organizations have been hosting destressing and calming events more than ever before. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and Stevens students are trying to recognize and address it. Through events like Midterm Stress Relief: Bullet Journaling hosted by SWiB and Write with Less Stress hosted by the Writing and Communications Center, we are slowly but surely destigmatizing stress and anxiety. These organizations and offices don’t have to host these events, but they do it because they care about the wellness of the student body. These types of events are meant to allow students to pause and take a breath from their busy schedules and lives. For as little as 30 minutes, painting a pot or making a memory box can offer a sense of relief and calmness that isn’t always present

in our busy daily lives. The e-boards of all student organizations are run by students just like you. They understand the difficulty of juggling exams, homework, athletics, Greek life, volunteering, etc. Student organizations provide supportive communities for students with different interests and backgrounds which is why they are hosting destressing events. Students understand that this can be a challenging topic to discuss so they tackle it with a less intimidating and more inviting approach. Thus far, I believe students are becoming more open to discussing their emotions and problems. We are creating an environment where everyone is accepted and heard. In 2018, Active Minds, an RSO geared towards bringing awareness to mental health by promoting dialogue and removing stigma surrounding mental health, was created. Since its origin, they have hosted “Send Silence Packing,” which was an event in which backpacks were scattered across Palmer Lawn to represent the number of college student suicides in 2019. It was not an event of solace but rather

hope. In each backpack there were inspirational and positive messages like “You are important” and “You are loved.” They are also very involved in planning the Out of the Darkness walk, which many Greek organizations participate in as well as the Hoboken community. This walk joins people together in an effort to bring awareness through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Events like these are opening the conversation, pushing the envelope on feelings and topics that simply should not be bottled up. Active Minds is also collaborating with the Counseling and Psychological Services(CAPS) this semester so keep an eye out on Ducklink and Corq to see what they’ll be hosting. Their next GBM is Thursday, February 27 at 9:15 in BC 221. As a sophomore, I can personally say that the student community at Stevens is extremely supportive, open-minded, and kind. Being able to go to my peers or clubs and talk about how stressed I am about midterms and finals is a relief. It’s even more of a relief that other people voice the same feelings. Student orgs are an opportunity to connect with your peers outside of

the classroom and bond over video games, karaoke, etc. At Stevens, I don’t have to pretend; I can feel how I’m feeling and that’s okay. College is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and it has its ups and downs. If you feel that you are having a hard time academically, emotionally, socially, or what have you, you can always go to CAPS, which is now located on the second floor of the Student Center. As time goes on, it is very possible that there will be more events hosted by a variety of student organizations that focus on mental health. Currently, these events are usually done independently, but I am hopeful that there will be more communication between RSOs to cohost and collaborate on destressing events. RSOs help lead the conversation on mental health and bring awareness on the topic to administration. After all, what is Stevens without its students? Stevens is providing us with resources for our needs like CAPS and CARE. The CAPS staff is phenomenal and very approachable and understanding. There is still more progress to be made, but we are on the right path to a stigmafree, student-oriented university.

Looking back, it was obvious. The warning signs. The causes for concern. The red f lags. It was all there — it was always all there — and I missed it. It started in the summer. My frantic day-to-day life as a college student was replaced with ample free time while working a nineto-five summer job. My friends stayed busy and enjoyed hitting up clubs, seeing shows and movies, and traveling across the coast. But I started to find myself unusually exhausted. Waking up was tough, and after getting home from work, I had little energy to leave the house again. After a while, and without any apparent reason, leaving home became frightening. At any moment, I felt I might collapse, spiral into a state of panic, and lose control of myself. There were some days when I skipped work and stayed in bed. And through it all, having felt so ashamed of letting my job down, I told nobody about why I was mysteriously absent all the time — when someone did ask, I came up with lies to make it all seem okay. In a matter of weeks, I got worse. I stole tequila from my roommates and beer from my fraternity. I got high every night because it helped me forget how horrible I felt. Sometimes I’d mix in other drugs: the pain from the spins kept me distracted. And as summer ended and the semester began, I had no way to handle my coursework or minor blips of stress. When I missed an assignment, I told myself I’d just

“Who knew that talking with someone, even once, could provide so much relief?”

LOOKING AT OTHER PEER UNIVERSITIES

HOW CAPS STACKS UP BY CHARLES ZWICKER NUMBER OF AVAILABLE WEEKLY COUNSELING HOURS COMPARED TO PEER INSTITUTIONS

60

Lehigh

RPI

CMU

WPI

NU

Short Term Counseling

50

Group Therapy

40 Weekly Available Hours

SIT

Couples Therapy Consultations

30

Urgent Care

20

Psychiatric Services Off-Campus Referrals

10 0

Municipal Outreach

Lehigh Stevens Institute Rensselaer University of Technology Polytechnic Institute

With course loads that can reach 19 or 20 credits in a single semester, ever-rising price tags (and therefore student loan debt), and a plethora of other challenges one might face during their time at college, it’s no surprise that mental health is such an important topic on our campus and at many other colleges across America. This is something that Stevens’ administration seems to recognize, having started several initiatives within the past two school years to improve mental health offerings on campus. This school year saw the creation of the President’s Mental Health Task Force, which was created to focus on “Communication, Collaboration, and Culture” as they relate to mental health. But how well does our own Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) compare to the programs and support at our peer universities? (Stevens defines our peer universities as the following: Rensselaer Polytechnic University, Lehigh University, Carnegie Mellon

Carnegie Mellon University

Worcester Northeastern Polytechnic University Institute

University, Northeastern University, and Worcester Polytechnic University.) Are we woefully behind them in terms of our offerings? Do we greatly outperform them? As far as our peer institutions are concerned, many of the services offered are nearly identical (according to publicly available information on their websites). Every peer institution offers some form of individual counseling, and Rensselaer additionally advertises couples therapy. Consultations for students, faculty, and staff are available at all of our peer schools, with Lehigh even offering it to parents. Most schools run workshops and training, working to break down barriers and destigmatize the idea of seeking help. Group therapy was also a form of support advertised by most, but not all, schools. The real stand-out of the compared universities was Carnegie Mellon who has a 24/7 on-call line, provided by their own counseling department. The other schools

Workshops

(Stevens included) typically offer a roughly 9a.m. to 5p.m. schedule for regular appointments and emergency sessions. For ‘after-hours’ help, peer schools typically suggest that students call 911 or a hotline for assistance; Stevens’ CAPS recommends calling campus police in case of severe distress. On the other end of the spectrum was Northeastern University, whose website was sparse due to the few services they offer. They have a 24/7 hotline and take walk-ins during normal business hours, which include Saturday hours (the only school to do so). Those are the only two options for support, and for everything else they provide information for resources in the Boston area and recommend calling their police department for emergencies. Stevens has a very strong showing of unique support programs compared to the other universities. Stevens was in the minority by offering psychiatric services and providing off-campus referrals for students who need

longer-term support. Stevens’ CARE team’s website also makes it very easy to submit a “CARE Report”, where students can give a tip to the CARE team about another student that the reporter may be concerned about, and the CARE team will reach out to that student. Students are unable to anonymously report, although there’s nothing stopping you from putting a false name on the report, and reporters can request anonymity from the reported student. Other schools offer counseling for dealing with a student about whom another student is concerned, but do not offer any programs similar to Stevens’ CARE team, likely lowering their program’s reach and effectiveness. Stevens has received awards for these programs, including a JED seal in 2013 for the development of a “comprehensive approach to preventing suicide.” Stevens has also applied to be awarded the Active Minds Healthy Campus Award for 2019, the winners of which are to be announced in late February.

make it up later. When I missed a class, I told myself that the lecture didn’t matter anyway. I had gotten so good at lying to others, I didn’t realize I was lying to myself. Soon, whatever this illness was, this disease of despair, it crept into my mind and corrupted my very senses, spun me out of control, sent me to hell and back, and I felt weak, helpless, and like there was no more to life than suffering and struggle. It wasn’t until a professor thought my long string of absences was suspicious that I was reported to the CARE team. Within a day, a university staffer met with me to figure out what was going on, and not long into our meeting, I unloaded my extreme feelings of distress that I had built up over several months. Who knew that talking with someone, even once, could provide so much relief? Once I got into the mental health system, I found it very difficult to accept there was something wrong with me and beyond my control. I didn’t realize how I felt each day was not caused by overworking or classes or thoughts of the future. Psychiatrists found that I had a neurological issue, a malfunction of biology, that would have only worsened if it had gone unchecked. After a few weeks, I got the right meds, saw the right people, and stopped imagining my life in a miserable way. I could think clearly again. I could live honestly again. I felt like myself again. Am I completely cured? No, but I at least know that there’s a sure-fire way to get better and that asking for help has been the best way to put my mind at ease. For the longest time, I lost hope in the future, that no matter what I did to correct the mistakes I’ve made, there was nothing good in store for me. It took someone intervening to be slapped back to my senses, to be reminded about the joys of life, my talents, my interests, my dreams, and to once again see the beauty in the world. I can only cherish how I feel now: at peace, back in control, and so excited about the days to come. And I can only hope that someone else, whose story is a lot like mine, gets the help they deserve.

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February 14, 2020

The Survey Project The Mental Health Survey Project: Spearheaded by Audrey Dsouza with help from Victoria Agaliotis, Health and Wellness Chair of the SGA, the survey was open for about 6 weeks to gauge the current state of student wellbeing and awareness of mental health resources on campus. We recieved 126 responses from students of all class years, and hope that the results (although from a small sample size) can be used as a springboard for future research efforts by the SGA or administrators to ultimately improve the student experience! Which resources for mental health/wellness have you heard of at Stevens?

General Awareness: Most of students responded that they had heard of Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), submitted a CARE report (96% and 94% respectively) and cited that they had heard about these resources most commonly through advertising around campus, from orientation, or from a friend/classmate. However, many students admitted that they hadn’t used the services.

125

125

100

Which resources for mental health/wellness have you used, and to what capacity? 100 75

Never Once

75

A few times Many times

50

50 25

0

25

Depression Screenings

CAPS De-stressing PE Classes Student Events Orgs

CARE

0

CARE

Depression Screenings

20 15 10 5 0

Have you been to CAPS? - All responses

5

0

45

Not helpful at all

Not great

Neutral

Pretty good

Very helpful

Would you recommend CAPS to your friends? 15

10

“CAPS could consult with students about different therapy approaches for dealing with different disorders.”

5

0

“It is difficult to schedule a screening is you are not willing to make a phone call or physically stop by in person.”

No, not at all

Not really

Maybe

Yes

Absolutely

Neutral

“Whoever sees you on intake should be a real doctor. They shouldn’t give you an appointment with an intern without telling you that they’re just an intern.” “I’m not just flaming I’ve seen at least 3 instances of someone who was very unstable get turned away cause they didn’t have any time slots.” “Longer hours, or even sessions through a phone call. I felt a little embarrassed walking through campus to visit CAPS in person, sometimes in tears, and having to potentially walk past people I know.”

Yeah

Do you think CAPS should be changed or improved?

Student anecdotes: “I appreciate what CAPS does, but I feel like an issue is the available hours it’s open.”

“I went during a depressive episode but did not have an appointment and said I needed an emergency one. The receptionist said ‘We’ll see about that’ and handed me a form.”

“My counselor was very helpful in listening to what I said without judgement, and providing advice and support.”

25 20 15 10

“CAPS lacks diversity in staff that hinders their ability to address a multitude of students’ issues.”

Never been to CAPS! 81 students responded that they had never been to CAPS. We wanted to know how well they knew about the services available to them and what would increase their own or a friend’s willingness to go.

“They have helped me through a few tough times here at Stevens and provided good support and help.”

5 0

Not at all

Are you aware of the services that CAPS provides? Yes No

60 55 50 45 40 35 30 25 20 15 10 5 0

No

Student anecdotes: “I think they need to advertise more on the services they offer, for example not many students know they can help you find an outside therapist - CAPS is not long term therapy. I also think they should have an online appointment scheduler, and I think they need to expand their personnel to accommodate the larger class sizes.”

81

Student anecdotes: “If I had more information on what they can do for me then I might consider going. “

Not at all

10

Yes No

Student Orgs

25

How did you feel about your visits?

15

PE Classes

Do you think enough students use the resources provided by CAPS?

I’ve been to CAPS! For the 45 students who responded stating that they had been, we asked about their experiences. Overall, students’ experiences varied. Some students found the counseling helpful, while others preferred the care of a specialist outside of Stevens.

Have you been to CAPS? About two-thirds of students admitted they hadn’t been to CAPS. The following responses are broken down based on whether or not the respondant answered yes or no to this question.

De-stressing Events

CAPS

31

Why haven’t you been to CAPS?

Maybe

Yes

Absolutely

Do you know where CAPS is? 50 40 30 20 10 0

50

No

Pond House/ Wellness Center

Howe

No

Correct answer! CAPS is located at the Student Wellness Center, formerly known as the Pond House.

Reasons why college students don’t seek help: The Stute received this model from Dr. Eric Rose from CAPS. It was prepared for the President’s Mental Health Task Force, but can also be useful to students who may identify with any of the sentiments detailed in the diagram.

I don’t feel the need to

Too busy

Hours not convenient

Negative perception

Other

What would increase your willingness to go? Student anecdotes: “Easier way to make appointments. Having the counselors listen more instead of trying to offer a quick solution, such as watching a video.” “Open houses to introduce us to the space so we know what it is like.” “It feels more official. I don’t have any big issues that I need to see CAPS for. But smaller things like de-stressing events I’d be more likely to attend.” “Better psychiatrists. Easier manner of getting a session when you need it.”

“They wont report anything that is said to them (they have a list of issues they will report).” “If I had more information on what they can do for me then I might consider going. If it’s just talking to someone, I can talk to my friends or parents and get by. They could also make scheduling more accessible and online because if I have social anxiety I wouldn’t call or visit to make an appointment.”

“Being in open areas around campus.”

“I’ve heard that the wait time is very bad. I think that other people need much more help.”

“Good reviews. Hearing from people that actually went.”

“More awareness about what is actually done there.”

Rosenthal, S. &Wilson, W.C (2016). Psychosocial dynamics of college students’ use of mental health services. Journal of College Counseling, 19, 194-205. Eisenberg, D., Hunt, J. & Speer, N. (2012). Help seeking for mental health on college campuses: Review of evidence and next steps for research and practice. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 20, 222-232.

5

date

The Survey Project Stigma/Environment: We asked everyone general questions related to their environment to understand some of the factors that could be related to whether or not they seek help. Many students stated that they felt like they were healthy, doing well at Stevens, and knew where to find resources... but didn’t think they needed them, despite frequently feeling overwhelmed, or unable to share their experiences with mental health with friends or professors. I feel like I’m doing well at Stevens.

50 40

30 20 10 0

Not at all

No

Maybe

Yes

Absolutely

People I know make jokes or memes about depression, suicide, etc.

50 40

30 20 10 0

I frequently find myself overwhelmed by all I have to do.

50 40

30 20 Not at all

No

Maybe

Yes

10 0

Absolutely

If I needed them, I know where to find resources for mental health.

Not at all No Maybe Absolutely Yes If I was experiencing extreme distress, I’d seek help from Stevens resources.

50 40

50 40

30 20

30 20

10 0

10 0

Not at all

No

Maybe

Yes

Absolutely

Perception of CARE: Most students stated that they are aware of the CARE team (73%) but most had not submitted a CARE report before (78%). The general sentiment was that respondants didn’t know much about what CARE did, or that they didn’t do anything. According to its website, the CARE team “responds to student behavior that is disruptive or harmful and provides support that a student needs including academic, mental health, medical, or other resources depending on the nature of the problem.” Are you aware of the CARE team?

Not at all

No

Maybe

Yes

Absolutely

Further analysis: We compared student responses to certain questions using certain demographic factors: whether they live on campus or not, whether they serve on a student organization executive board, or whether they are an upper or underclassman, for example. I feel like faculty and admins care about my mental health.

If I was experiencing extreme distress, I’d seek help from Stevens resources.

What is your understanding/perception of the CARE team?

Student anecdotes: “They respond to time-sensitive emergencies.” “Seems like a group that will reach out to a person if the CARE team has been notified that said person needs mental support. Submission of these recommendations is anonymous.” “Not sure what they do but they probably do it well, no news is good news.”

I don’t go to CAPS because I have heard negative things about it.

If I was experiencing extreme distress, I’d seek help from Stevens resources.

“I hear that they don’t do much. The concept is good in theory.” “Crisis mental health resource on campus for emergencies.” “They do their best to check up on students and monitor the situation to provide the student with help, but only if the student accepts it.” “They’re like the next level of CAPS? I’m not really sure what they do.” “Submit a CARE report if youre concerned about someone.”

What I’d like to see: Students provided comments on what they would like to see more of, related to mental health, on campus.

“Doesn’t really follow through on reports: gets report, contacts student, and does not follow through if that student does not respond.”

“Workshop on how to help friends who are going through bad times.”

“They help with making sure people who have CARE reports filed on them are OK.”

“Maybe some informational sessions about what kinds of disorders are out there. Even speakers on these issues (personal stories) which might help the students take the information more seriously and to be more conscious and considerate. Also info about how to be the best possible friend or confidant to someone experiencing mental illness. It can be very hard to know what to do.” “CAPS open houses to meet the therapists/psychologists, hosted regularly at some interval (monthly?) with destressing activities and snacks. There is a large barrier for people who want to get help is not knowing what to expect or feeling like they’ll be judged.” “Just people telling their own stories.” “More wholesome stuff on campus.” “Professor training to identify students who need help.”

“More animal destressing days like where they have a bunch of dogs or cats, it seems simple but it really helps.” “How to get help outside of Stevens if you are uncomfortable talking to anyone on campus. More anxiety events like test anxiety and how to cope with it.” “I think less ‘destressers’ events. And by that I mean that destressing events shouldn’t be considered mental health events. They do not focus on the key parts of mental health, like having uncomfortable conversations of how to get people, how to help others get help. I think there needs to be a culture of understanding.” “Just in general more campus wide events that implore people to expand their horizons.” “Mental health education that goes beyond sleeping, eating healthy, and socializing.” “Mental Health First Aid classes!”

“Not sitting in blow up pool on the lawn pretending to ‘make a new friend’ (whose ever idea that was, should be fired).”

“Things that don’t seemed forced. We are decreasing stigma but we are not making it any easier to go and tell someone.”

“How to help a friend in need or what to say to someone who may be feeling suicidal.”

“Professors talking about mental health.”

“Keep doing the depression screenings in Babbio for pizza because that allows caps to see anyone that may think they are okay.” “7cups is a website/app that has anonymous listeners who are trained in active listening, users of the service have proven to feel better, and it can be as effective as psychotherapy. In addition to raising awareness of the service, I think it would be a good idea to have training sessions for students who want to become listeners so they can help each other and offer better emotional support to friends.” “More info about what they do. Just about what they do, specifically CARE.”

“More de-stressing events that are in locations accessible to students (lower campus or lawns) that also have interactive learning components that destigmatize seeking help for mental illness. More collaboration from CAPS with student organizations to get their members screened and help if needed.” “I think it would be interesting if there could be anxiety screening like the depression screening.”

How many hours do you spend studying in a week?

Survey demographics

Class year

“Some transparency as to what exactly happens when you walk into the Wellness Center with a problem or at least something similar. At the moment the only way to ‘find out’ is to go yourself or be the subject of a CARE Report.”

Housing status

“I don’t really know anything about them.” “Not much, I just know that they exist.” “That they don’t do anything. I submitted a report for my friend a few months ago, but I have no idea if they were followed up on. Also certain members of the team are not empathetic at all and are not suited/trained for handling sensitive cases related to mental health.” “I have not had any experiences myself, but I have heard from others that they do not do a sufficient job following up with students.” “It seems to single people out anonymously.” “I’ve heard negative things but don’t know much overall” “I’ve heard multiple instances of CARE reports never being followed up, so I think this is essentially useless.” “They are limited in their ability to help. The most I’ve seen them do is ask a student to talk to them about the issue. I know someone who has never been contacted about several CARE reports made about their mental health challenges, so I doubt the efforts of the CARE team in this instance.”

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue STUDENTS TAKE THE INITIATIVE IN IMPROVING THE CAMPUS BY ALEKSANDAR DIMOSKI Regardless of how, we all have a personal connection to Stevens. Some members of our student community have done incredible work in improving the mental health resources that we have at Stevens. Former Student Government Association (SGA) President Lucas Gallo and his cabinet worked to improve Stevens with a series of initiatives such as giving the CARE team feedback, getting all mental health resources on the template for the syllabus for each class, pushing for mental health awareness training for Stevens faculty, and more. According to Gallo, “During my time as president, I worked a lot with Melanie Caba (the former head of the health and wellness committee) as well as Sara Klein, Dean Nilsen, and Dr. Zarin to help devise an action plan for how we can improve to get more student services that support mental/physical health.” Gallo and his cabinet also worked with the administration to create the position of Wellness Educator, which has been filled by Gabrielle Guider. The Wellness Educator is a position designed to run physical education courses like Wellness 101 and serve as the case manager for the CARE team. “We saw many other schools have a similar position so we put together a proposal for a wellness educator. Sara Klein was helping us along the way because she was also very in support of this idea. We submitted the proposal, presented at Favardin’s cabinet meeting, and next thing you know we got ourselves a wellness educator,” said Gallo. SGA senators also work towards improving mental health on campus. Senators E.J. Hannah and Elina Tuder continue to work on setting up the creation of artwork underneath the bleachers outside the gym. According to Tuder, “Hannah and I wrote a formal proposal and then submitted it to Danielle Maxson and Sara Klein. Maxson and Klein were helpful with providing feedback on the recommendation and then Klein talked to a multitude of parties

PHOTO COURTESY OF SITTV.

within Stevens to get approval for this proposal… I hope to get the DuckLink form rolling soon so that students can submit ideas they have and get to express themselves artistically. There are so many talented students and I can’t wait to see what they have in store!” SGA Health and Wellness Committee Head Victoria Agaliotis ran educational events, saying, “… last semester I held a healthy sleeping habits event. Just really trying to educate students about how to stay

TACKLING MENTAL HEALTH

IN GREEK LIFE BY FRANNIE SMALLEY At Stevens, it is important that all students have access to the resources they need to improve their mental health. Positive mental health is something that people struggle with in today’s society, so it’s something everyone should aim to improve. Mental health disorders can cause students to struggle with academic and athletic performance, attitude, and work ethic. As a result, it is important that our Greek life organizations educate their members on mental health issues and provide them with the proper resources. What do our Greek life organizations do to inform and help their members? President of Sigma Delta Tau, Kaylee Shepard, explains that they put the mental health of their members above all else. They also stress the importance of mental health within their philanthropy. Shepard said, “Last year, Sigma Delta Tau added the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as our local philanthropy. We raise money for and participate in the annual Out of the Darkness Walk. Our Health & Wellness Chair sends out monthly newsletters and plans events for sisters to ensure we are taking a moment to focus on our own well-being.” She also explained their sistersat-large program, which provides their members with someone to talk to when they need guidance. “Additionally, we have sisters-at-large, a pair of sisters who are there to support the chapter whenever they need someone. These sisters also pair up members in the chapter with a ‘support sister’ every semester. A support sister can be their go-to person for advice, someone who

is always there to listen, or just a sister they form a new bond with.” It is important to make sure that the members of each Greek organization feel that they have a strong support system and the proper resources if they are ever experiencing any distress. In order to get more insight, The Stute contacted Matthew Perri, a new member of Beta Theta Pi. When asked if he felt supported by his brothers as a new member, Perri explained that he has a very strong support system, saying, “After receiving a bid to Beta, I felt an overwhelming feeling of camaraderie and support. Every brother makes it clear that I can go to them for any issue whether it is big or small.” Beta Theta Pi has already started to educate their new members on the importance of mental health and introduce them to one of our resources on campus. Perri added, “Recently Beta had all of the brothers come to the house and listen to a representative from Stevens’ Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) talk about mental health and how to find help on campus. Without this meeting, I would not have known about CAPS and would not know where to go for help if I needed it. If I ever had a mental health issue, I would now know what to do and where to go.” It is important that all students have a strong support system like the brothers of Beta Theta Pi and the sisters of Sigma Delta Tau. CAPS is a great resource for students on campus, providing short-term counseling, urgent-care services, group therapy, and much more. Never be afraid to utilize these resources— you are never alone!

PHOTO COURTESY OF ALPHA PHI.

healthy and reduce the stigma around mental health.” By running these events, Agaliotis hoped to promote a healthy lifestyle for students and improve general well-being on campus. Our school isn’t a utopia and likely never will be. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth trying to make things better. Student leaders have shown that Stevens is capable of growing to better provide mental health services to its students. According to Gallo, “We are

trying to build a more supportive community among the students and alongside the faculty/staff at Stevens. I think by simply recognizing we have a problem (much like many other schools) we open ourselves up for improvement… Is it perfect? No. Will it ever be? No. But are we doing better? Yes.” These initiatives are pursued by members of the student body, with the partial or complete support of the school, for other Stevens students. Whenever we laugh at an Off

TAKE A BREAK AND

Center article, complain about construction, struggle through a required class, or recount tales of Duck Dances long past, we do it together, as Stevens students. And as members of the community and the student body, these resources are for us. They exist in part because our peers cared enough about us, about each other, and about this school to make the Innovation University a better place to live and to learn; so let’s put these resources to good use.

COLOR IN ATTILA

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue

How are RAs prepared to address mental health? BY E.J. HANNAH

The Stute partnered with the Library to ask students what they frequently think about and to illustrate these feelings on a mind-map. The exhibit was not advertised but received around fifty mind-map submissions during the span of one week. We thank the Library for their hospitality and all those who participated — check online at thestute.com to see some of the submissions!

Updating mental health services BY LIAM MCMURTY

Given the necessity of top-ofthe-line mental health services at Stevens, Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) has changed over the past couple years to better meet the needs of the students. According to Dr. Eric Rose, the Director of CAPS and a licensed psychologist, “CAPS is always implementing new programs and initiatives based on best practices”. One thing that was noted was the implementation of depression screenings. These screenings occur throughout the year and in conjunction with Student Health on a regular basis. Notably, during the #StigmaFreeStevens campaign during April of 2019, free depression screenings were offered to all participants without any appointment necessary. This was part of the Alcohol and Depression screenings that were being implemented during that same month in Babbio Atrium. Outside of this, Dr. Rose also noted the workshops that CAPS has implemented to increase awareness of their services among those who may need them. Last year alone, 137 of these workshops were given. A list of these workshops can be found on the Stevens webpage under the “Request a Workshop” tab of the Student Affairs page. The ones specifically offered by CAPS are categorized under the “Wellness” section. These workshops encompass a broad range of topics, many of them centered around helping students adjust to college lifestyle and training participants to better cope with trauma and distress. For instance, the workshop titled “Attila, we’re not in high school anymore”, focuses on helping first-year students transition to college life. Another notable workshop is “Healthy Advisor Relationships”, which is

GO CONTINUED FROM PAGE #1 only covering depression, but it is worth noting that there is a multitude of other mental illnesses. Presented with the following hypothetical scenario, how many of us would deem it necessary to go to CAPS? Person X stopped going to their classes, they cancelled a movie plan with friends, and they only eat prepackaged snacks. Three different observers may not see the full picture because they do not have all the information and therefore will fail to recognize that this person may need help. In this instance, the individual that can most professionally address the situation is a faculty member, assuming they take attendance, who sends a brief email checking up on Person X. After a week has elapsed, the symptoms experienced by Person X are starting to become more ap-

primarily for Graduate students and focuses on fostering successful advisor-advisee relationships. Mindfulness is also a common topic in these workshops with ones such as “Intro to Mindfulness” and “Fostering a Growth Mindset” being given to teach participants to put things in perspective and approach their problems in a calm and thoughtful manner. Teaching students to develop their life-skills and resiliency is one of the key objectives of CAPS. One of the ways that CAPS seeks to improve their services is through a close partnership with the JED Foundation. Last year, the administration initiated a comprehensive JED approach to combat the growing mental health crisis. Several pillars made up this undertaking: Promote Social Connectedness, Identify Students at Risk, Increase Help-seeking behavior, Follow Crisis Management Procedures, Develop Life Skills, Restrict Access to Potentially Lethal Means, and Provide Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services. Most of these pillars in some way connected back to CAPS. For instance, Resident Assistants and Student Affairs faculty all participated in training hosted by CAPS on mental health awareness during Summer 2019. Moreover, CAPS collaborated with Alpha Phi sorority in co-sponsoring a talk by Lauren Cook called “Name your story: How to talk openly about mental health” to help break down the stigma associated with mental illness. CAPS even partnered with Wellness education staff to present sessions about mental health awareness at the New Faculty Orientation of last year. In addition, a suicide prevention training program called “Question, Persuade, Refer” is now offered by

CAPS. Last year it was reported that four Stevens staff members have been trained as instructors in this program with more to come. Over the past couple years, more people have been hired to provide more diverse services. Back in October 2018, a staff psychologist who is f luent in Mandarin along with a new full-time Wellness Educator. Later in February 2019, a part-time drug and alcohol specialist was hired. On top of all this, when the President’s Mental Health Task Force was created in July 2019, not only was Dr. Eric Rose appointed, but several others specializing in mental health were also brought in to assist in crafting solutions. Such appointees included Dr. Ashley Lytle, an Assistant Professor of Psychology in the College of Arts and Letters, and Dr. Theresa MacPahil, an Assistant Professor specializing in public health and scientific knowledge production. To better serve the mental health needs of the Stevens community, our school has expanded its outreach through updating CAPS, partnering with the JED Foundation, and connecting students to services outside of campus. For instance, Stevens’ recreation department now accepts PE credit for a Mental Health First Aid course. This course is offered through a program outside of Stevens, the Mental Health First Aid USA, and teaches students how to respond to those experiencing a psychological crisis. Stevens has also put together the THRIVE wellness fair. This is a collaboration between CAPS, Student Life, and Wellness Education to offer a community fair for students to connect with local partners committed to health and wellness, such as the Lukin Center for Psychotherapy and the Counseling and Wellness Center of New Jersey.

parent. So, their roommate decides to invite them out for some fresh air and coffee in an effort to cheer them up. After doing so, their roommate is not entirely certain that Person X is in dire need of professional help as they were able to socialize normally again, if for a small duration of time. What many of us fail to recognize is that there are many different types of depression, which may share several symptoms but last for variable amounts of time. Consequently, an acquaintance who does not have all the pieces of the puzzle may not realize that Person X, although they went on a coffee date with their roommate, now has trouble sleeping and overcompensates by drinking energy drinks. The bottom line is if you are in a bad place, the most detrimental action you can take is inaction. Moreover, convincing yourself that your situation is not ‘that bad’ compared to other people’s is one of the worst approaches towards

mental health. Additionally, waiting for others to take notice of your symptoms and push you to seek therapy or counseling can also be ineffective, especially in light of the stigma surrounding this topic At this point, you are probably still wondering, “So, should I go to CAPS?” Unfortunately, there is no concrete method to arrive at this answer, but if you find yourself questioning whether you should be going then that should be an indicator. Sometimes all it takes is admitting that the feelings you are currently experiencing are uncomfortable and unfamiliar and unpacking it with a professional would not hurt. If going to CAPS proves to be injudicious then no-one ever needs to find out about it. On the other hand, if the experience provides you with new insights or alleviates some of your negative feelings, then perhaps you will be able to get the proper medication or simply have someone to vent to without fear of judgement.

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Often referred to as “the eyes and ears on the ground”, resident assistants (RAs) serve as the first line of defense if a situation arises among residents. But just how well are RAs trained to handle the growing mental health crisis that’s impacting life at Stevens? The following article is a ref lection on my experience with the mental health training I endured as a first-year RA. Staff training begins roughly two weeks before the fall semester kicks off. During that time, RAs are on the clock from essentially 9 am to 9 pm observing presentations, acting out scenarios, and getting messy with construction paper for bulletin boards. The presentations trained on a wide variety of topics including crisis response, fire safety, expectations on duty, active shooting, diversity and inclusion, and many others. We also bore witness to a number of presentations specific to the mental well-being of both our residents and ourselves. The first of these was regarding the CARE team, given by Dean of Students, Kenneth Nilsen, and Health Educator and Case Manager, Gabrielle Guider. This training was specific to new RAs and highlighted the internal and external procedures surrounding a CARE report submission. CARE reports allow you to report — anonymously or not, it’s your choice — a non-emergency situation that you have observed among a friend or faculty member. This notifies the proper individuals to reach out to the person you’re worried about and try to provide appropriate resources. The training itself focused on how and when to submit a report for someone. The training itself didn’t teach me anything new, though I know that wasn’t the case for everyone else. Indirectly though, it laid forth what I saw as a crucial message pertaining to our roles as RAs. We aren’t supposed to intervene and assist in the lives of our residents; we just exist to report and refer if something happens. Following this, we were given a presentation on psychological warning signs from Director Dr. Eric Rose and Assistant Director Dr. Melissa Zarin of Stevens’ Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). This was a far more comprehensive session on how we can recognize symptoms of specific types of eating, depressive, and anxiety disorders that are common among college students. The list of things we were told we could have encountered was so extensive and niche that many of the symptoms taught were behaviors I never would have batted an eye at. I felt the technical approach of learning the definitions and forms different disorders take, as well as the appropriate resources to refer residents upon diagnosis, worked very well to teach individuals at a science and technology oriented university. Dr. Rose and Dr. Zarin also addressed the much darker topic of suicide prevention through a QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) certification a few days later. As we began to walk through the symptoms and signs to look out for, the realness and severity of what we were dealing with started to strike a chord in my mind. I vividly remember going over self-harm and being told by Dr. Rose that aiming to stop a resident from harming themselves is unrealistic. Instead, we should put our efforts toward trying to mitigate the damage they do to their bodies through safer cutting practices. Up until this point, everything we had learned was a concrete “if you notice x, then respond with y”. For the first time, we were being told that the best approach was to be ourselves and connect as humans in these situations. I left the presentation mortified. We were just painted a picture of the most extreme situation that could happen — the one no RA hopes to experience — and left it at that. I was afraid of having to han-

dle anything we talked about. Yet, the more we talked about self-harm and suicide among residents, the more these ideas were brought down to Earth as something that can be handled and resolved just like a roommate conf lict or work order. By having the harder conversations, I felt more confident that I would be ready for these situations, should they arise. Sure enough, we put all the skills we talked about into practice later that day. A notorious part of RA training is called Behind Closed Doors (BCDs). Here, returning RAs act out real situations that new staff need to walk into and resolve. Inside the room are other RAs and professional staff from various departments to help discuss what can be improved upon after you’ve enacted the scenario. Though stressful to go through, the pseudo-experience provided from BCDs most directly translates to what we need to deal with on the job. Whether it was an eating disorder reported from a roommate, or a resident having suicidal desires, they were all very realistic and applicable. Despite the pressure from all eyes on you, being able to receive real-time feedback on how to better approach an issue through body language, tone of voice, word choice, etc. is unparalleled in value. If I had to choose one part of the training that best prepared me for my role, it was performing BCDs. From here, the conversations in training started to shift slightly towards our own self-care and living a generally healthy lifestyle. Gabrielle Guider presented later that week on the wellness model she prepared for our university. She elaborated on each discipline of wellness needed to make healthy living more attainable, including physical, mental, spiritual, financial, and several others. Each of these categories was applicable to our own lives, as well as the lives of our residents seeking advice, and how we could better partition our time to be more mentally well. With that we concluded any direct training for addressing mental health before we opened the doors and met our residents for the first time in the fall. Though I won’t elaborate on them, there were still plenty of presentations indirectly tackling the mental health of our residents, such as roommate conf lict mediation or how to confront a resident with care. Additionally, during our winter training, we performed additional BCDs and listened to an informative presentation from Dr. Rose on seasonal depression and other things to expect with our residents returning from break. RA Daniel Raleigh also put on his own presentation titled “Who Counsels the Counselor?” that opened discussion on how to appropriately approach having an emotional investment in the lives of our residents and proper practices to distract and recover from the situations we experience. Bearing the weight of the mental health and well-being of dozens of new college students on our shoulders sounds intensive and stressful. To call the role of a resident assistant anything less is an understatement. It’s truly impossible to comprehend what we go through without actually experiencing it first hand. After surviving my first semester as an RA, I feel comfortable saying that what we learned in training was an accurate ref lection of what we experience day to day. It prepared me well to handle any and every situation that I’ve had to handle thus far. When you become responsible for your residents in the eyes of the university, you want to do anything you can to see them succeed. My greatest personal challenge has been balancing the emotional and professional investments I have in the lives of my residents. With all of the terrifying shortcomings and scenarios I was taught to prepare for, I’m content saying that my weakest area thus far has been caring too much.

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue

AILEEN QUINN BY MARK KRUPINSKI

PHOTOS COURTESY OF AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL.

Aileen [Quinn] was proof that not all superheroes wear capes. She had an unmatched zest for life, wicked sense of humor, and unwavering passion to improve the lives of those around her. Her spirit and vigor impacted others far and wide, whether it be by lending a helping hand on campus or campaigning on behalf of the disenfranchised abroad. With an infectious smile, Aileen always put others before herself. Her love knew no bounds. Everyone she met can tell you a unique story as to how she shaped their lives for the better. To say she will be missed is an understatement. She was a true leader, friend, and inspiration. Her compassion, empathy, ambition, generosity, persistence, and dedication are what made everything SIT Amnesty has done possible. Aileen embodied the idea that one person’s ideas, words, and actions indeed can change the world.” – the Stevens chapter of Amnesty International following her passing. At the time, she was a founding member of the chapter.

PHOTO COURTESY OF FACEBOOK.COM

‘‘

“Aileen [Quinn] was proof that not all superheroes wear capes. She had an unmatched zest for life, wicked sense of humor, and unwavering passion to improve the lives of those around her. Her spirit and vigor impacted others far and wide, whether it be by lending a helping hand on campus or campaigning on behalf of the disenfranchised abroad. With an infectious smile, Aileen always put others before herself. Her love knew no bounds. Everyone she met can tell you a unique story as to how she shaped their lives for the better. To say she will be missed is an understatement. She was a true leader, friend, and inspiration. Her compassion, empathy, ambition, generosity, persistence, and dedication are what made everything SIT Amnesty has done possible. Aileen embodied the idea that one person’s ideas, words, and actions indeed can change the world.” – the Stevens Chapter of Amnesty International. Today marks the twoyear anniversary of Aileen Quinn’s tragic passing. We are honoring her life, telling her story, and raising awareness around suicide prevention. Quinn touched our community through her involvement with Sigma Delta Tau, Stevens Irish Association, and President’s Ensemble. She was a founding member of the Stevens chapter of Amnesty International, and a student consultant at the Writing and Communications Center. Academic Warning Signs Throughout her first two years at Stevens as a Software Engineering major, Quinn was a Pinnacle Scholar, maintained a 3.282 GPA, and made Dean’s List for multiple semesters. During the Fall 2017 semester, Quinn stopped attending classes and failed to hand in assignments for multiple classes. As a result, she withdrew from two classes and failed two; her GPA plummeted to 1.111 for the semester. The highest-grade Quinn earned during the semester was one B. James Rowland was one of two professors to reach out to Quinn during the semester. At the end of November, Rowland emailed Quinn stating she had not turned in assignments and informed her the last day to submit an assignment was coming up. Rowland

asked if he could help. Quinn explained to Rowland that she was struggling due to a deviated septum, for which she had surgery to fix between the Fall and Spring semesters, and other family complications. She later dropped the course. Quinn also missed multiple exams for the course Fluid Mechanics, but she later took make-up exams that the instructor offered. None of Quinn’s other professors had noted concerns. All of Quinn’s grades were locked by the end of December. Due to her poor performance in the fall semester, Quinn was put on “academic watch.” A student qualifies for academic watch if their GPA falls below 2.0 for the previous semester but they have not had any previous history of a GPA below 2.0. During academic watch, the student participates in a discussion about their academic situation with Undergraduate Academics, starting with an email during the first month of classes. As her death occurred before the end of the first month of classes, Rosemary Dice, Associate Dean of Undergraduate Academics, had yet to send out the email. As a Pinnacle Scholar, Quinn received individualized mentoring and advisement. Following Quinn’s drop in grades, Stephanie Riker, the point of contact for the Pinnacle Scholar’s program, reached out to Quinn at the beginning of the semester to check in with her. Quinn responded a few days later that she could not meet as she had the flu and was recovering from surgery. Quinn and Riker attempted to schedule multiple meetings, but Quinn continued to cancel them as she still was not feeling well due to a stomach bug, and said she would reach out when she was feeling better. As the Spring semester commenced, Quinn started her new classes but began to struggle in them almost immediately. At the beginning of February, Rowland reached out to Quinn again stating he was concerned – she was behind on assignments, and he asked if there was anything he could do to help. After no response from Quinn, Rowland followed up three days later with another email expressing his concern as Quinn had not handed in any assignments and had only attended the first lecture of the class. Other instructors began to express their concerns. Quinn received an email from the Assistant Direc-

9

February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue

AILEEN QUINN tor of Campus Recreation saying she had missed the maximum amount of Full Body Circuit classes. She also received an email from her TA as she had not submitted any assignments for one of her courses. In addition, the Assistant Dean of Undergraduate Academics sent an email to Quinn, expressing concern after Quinn had failed to attend most meetings of her chemistry lab. There is no record of any member of the administration contacting or notifying the CARE Team of Quinn’s behavior. and students are advised to submit a report to the CARE Team. The Stevens CARE Team is a network of Stevens professionals that responds to disruptive or harmful student behavior, as well as provides support for students in academic, mental health, or medical areas, among others. Due to privacy regulations, no member of the Stevens administration contacted the parents of Quinn after her poor academic performance. Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), schools cannot release information on a student without written permission from the student. However, schools may disclose records without consent to “appropriate

and safety emergencies.” Kathy Schulz, General Counsel, said, “one semester of poor grades would not constitute an emergency.” Additionally, she noted that there are many reasons to explain poor academic performance, such as internships, extracurricular and social activities, and athletic pursuits. Schulz did not explicitly mention mental health. Outside the Classroom Quinn was not only struggling with academics, but also outside of her studies. Individuals who were close to her did not report her behavior despite having mental health training as Resident Assistants (RAs). Quinn lived housing, and did not have a formal RA assigned. Quinn shared her battle with depression with close friends at Stevens, including mentioning having suicidal thoughts and plans in high school. According to her close friends, Quinn expressed that she did not want to have those feelings and that she was going to seek counseling. Her friend suggested Quinn talk to her parents for help. thoughts of self-harm with another friend, but two weeks later said that she

was seeing a counselor and feeling better. Counseling and Psychological Services has no record of Quinn, and there is no evidence of an outside counselor. Her friends did not submit a CARE report, because they believed them less. These individuals had submitted CARE reports in the past, only to receive a follow-up that the student cern pushed back to them. Quinn’s father, Sean Quinn, met with his daughter for the last time three days before her death. Mr. Quinn and Quinn had visited each other frequently throughout the semester. During their conversation, Mr. Quinn learned that his daughter was stressed and was experiencing anxiety as a result of work and classes. He suggested that she takes a step back, prioritizes her time, and exercise. As a result, Quinn left her role on the executive board of the Stevens Irish Association and quit her job at the Writing and Communication Center. At the time, Mr. Quinn was not aware of Quinn’s grades or that she was seeking counseling. The night before February 14, Quinn took a yearbook photo, and then she walked home with a friend. On the morning of February 14, Quinn was re-

PHOTO COURTESY OF FACEBOOK.COM

ported missing. One of Quinn’s friends received a text from Quinn in the morning in which everything appeared normal. Mr. Quinn later received a call from her internship about her week of absence. Afterward, he requested a well-being check from Stevens Police. Quinn was not at her apartment, and her landlord did not know where she was. The only leads that pointed towards her whereabouts were a $46.00 LYFT charge on her debit account and her cell phone pinging a tower in New Jersey. Quinn did not know anyone who lived in that area, and Mr. ing persons report. The Hoboken Police Department received a call from the New York Police

PHOTO COURTESY OF SEAN QUINN.

that at 4:30 p.m., Aileen Quinn passed away.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SEAN QUINN.

The Aftermath About a year later, Quinn’s father began to talk to Stevens regarding the circumstances surrounding her death and the mental health environment at Stevens. During these discussions, Stevens said that Quinn “kept her struggles very private and presented an upbeat and highly capable persona to her faculty and those involved with her wide-range of activities,” which “kept their team in the dark.” Students continued to honor Quinn a year later, with her sorority fundraising for Amnesty International in her honor. The Stevens chapter of Amnesty International, which Quinn helped build, is prospering two years after

her death. Quinn touched everyone across the Stevens community. Immediately after her passing, over 350 individuals donated to Amnesty International in her honor through a Facebook fundraiser. Dozens of people left comments supporting and remembering her. Olivia Schreiber, a current Board of Trustees member, dedicated a column in her honor in The Stute: “Her message for me was that any and all maladies of the heart could be cured with humor,” said Schreiber, “I imagine that most of Aileen’s interactions were like this — genuine, heartfelt, and, if nothing else, comical.”

We need to all be responders and look out for signs in our friends, our family, our community, and ourselves. We are all responsible for the culture surrounding mental health. We all need to work to improve the resources for people struggling and reduce the stigma surrounding them. We are all responsible.

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue BY ANONYMOUS I was actually pretty used to screams coming from the kitchen as a kid, as awful as that might sound, but this one was different. It was the kind of scream that can’t ever be faked, full of complete desperation and the purest chords of fear. After the scream came wailing and tears, deep panicked moans of pain. Then people running downstairs, quieter secondary screams that only accelerated the original moaning, a few minutes of confusion and panic, then a car engine, then back to silence. No one ever actually told me what happened, that’s admittedly a pretty hard conversation to have with a 12 year old, but I guess always I knew. That didn’t make it any easier to go into school, the other kids couldn’t have known the actual story, but they knew my brother and his history, and they noticed when he went missing from class for a while, the bandages when he came back. At home mum was the word, I didn’t talk about it with my parents, I didn’t talk about it with my brother or my other siblings, I didn’t ask many questions when he left our school, or the next school, or the next school. The suicide attempt only put the fighting on hold for a while, it came back after a few weeks. At first, I just tried to hide in my room, find something else to do, anything to entertain myself or block out the noise of the more normal screams. My room didn’t really have anything interesting enough to distract me that effectively, and the walls weren’t terribly thick, so this strategy didn’t last all that long. After I also got bored of wandering around all the other rooms on the top floor, I stopped trying to hide from the noise. I started sitting right at the top of the step, listening to my parents fight on and on with my brother most nights, trying to understand, trying to figure out a way to fix it, or maybe just trying to process it. He has a form of bipolar disorder, but we didn’t get that diagnosis until five or six years after all of this started. That lack of certainty made the treatment into a confusing string of therapy, medications, schools, diagnoses, and conflict

Humpty Dumpty is a lie

that stretched on for years. He felt lost, ostracized, hopeless, poked, prodded, drugged, depressed, and alone. He felt like a freak. Most of the fights ended the same way; with him on the floor, either sobbing, hitting something in frustration, or both, all while saying “I want to go home” over and over again. 99% of the time this happened in our house, so the statement was more just an expression of how lost he felt rather than a request to go to a physical place. I think he wanted to go home in a more metaphorical sense, he wanted to go to comfort, stability, and love. He wanted to feel safe. For my parents, I think that statement represented the peak of their confusion and frustration, of the pain it caused them to watch their child go through this turmoil as all of their attempts to help failed. They wanted a quick fix, thought that moving schools would bring new friends and stop the bullying, or thought that if he stood up for himself and toughened up the problems would sort themselves out. Then they thought medications (ADHD meds at first, if I remember correctly) would subdue his “episodes,” in their words, but never seemed to con-

Humpty Dumpty. Photo courtesy of Lessons On Trauma Care From Humpty Dumpty

sider that the medications could make things worse before they made tthings any better. They had a hard time truly listening, of keeping themselves from getting angry as things veered further and further from “normal.” “Normal” definitely still doesn’t describe my family today, but at least these days we’re trying “functional” on for size. My brother talks to my parents again, there were about two few years of little to no contact when he left home after high school and leads a happy, stable life with a wife and plenty of work. Hell, he’s only a year and a half older than me but he’s had adventures most people would never be brave enough to attempt and has learned how to live with his mental illness without letting it define him in a way I will always admire. In other words, it worked out in the end for him. In the immediate aftermath, of both the suicide attempt and a string of deaths in my extended family, I just shut down. I stopped talking to anyone beyond what I had to say to get them to leave me alone. I don’t remember feeling much of anything, instead, the complete lack of feeling is what sticks with me to

this day. I just felt empty. For a while most people just left me alone, the other kids in school were confused and had no idea how to react, only knowing something had happened with my brother, most of them hearing from their older siblings in his grade, but they didn’t know what, and seemed unwilling to ask. The adults all talked to me like I was a puppy, raising their voices and talking slowly, bending over whenever they had anything to say, teachers and other parents alike. No one took much of an issue with me becoming increasingly closed off, no one tried to slow my drift to the social outskirts of our community. The problem is that sitting on the sidelines for so many years made me subconsciously internalize this idea that speaking up about my problems would only make them worse, and lead to me fighting with my parents and being shuffled around. I don’t have a mental illness, so I should be able to handle all of my problems completely on my own. In just a few years of using that logic to justify bottling up all of my emotions I started to be ostracized, and I started to have suicidal thoughts of my own. It wasn’t

Valentine

BY NASIR MONTALVO

Gaby Borodyanksy. Photo courtesy of HumansofStevens

Humans of Stevens BY JOANA FARDAD At the beginning of the semester, a new Instagram page appeared called humansofstevens. Unlike the popular tea pages revealing the hidden gossip on campus, this account has a different approach: It posts a sometimes candid and always beautiful photo of a student, captioned with a joyful, intimate quote about their life. In one post, student Gaby Borodyansky, seen sitting behind the glass facade of Kung Fu Tea, told an account of a recent moment of excitement and pride. “When my mom told me that I got into med school, it was the happiest I’ve been in a while,” she said. “Not because I got in, but because SHE told me, and SHE was happy.” In another post, a student, seen typing away on their laptop, told the account, “My happiest moment of the last five years? I think it was getting into Stevens. That was the perfect balance between being close to my mom, having independence, and going to a good school.” Jake Meiskin and Morgan Brenner are the faces behind the new account. The page grew from an idea that Meiskin had with Sara

for another few years that I realized it was odd to have my own death planned out at 14, but I still never told anyone about the way I was feeling. I kept bottling it up, letting it escalate until I was on the brink of hurting myself over and over, but two thoughts always brought me back. First, I thought about everyone else in my life, after having lived with the trauma of witnessing my brother’s attempt, I knew I couldn’t cause that kind of pain for someone else, no matter how bad I was feeling. I couldn’t be someone else’s haunting scream, and I couldn’t bear to think about how much worse my family would be with me removed. Then I thought about myself, and I realized if I gave in then I would never reach a point in my life that I could actually be proud of, that I could enjoy. The story would just end, and I’d never be able to move past the pain I was feeling, I’d never be anyone but that scared little kid at the top of the stairs, I’d never get to understand. These thoughts saved me more times than I can even remember, but they still weren’t the right answer. I should have never let myself get to that point, I should have talked to someone about my problems and sought help. I consider myself lucky to even still be here today writing this, but I shouldn’t have left it up to luck, I should have swallowed my pride and stopped trying to deal with everything myself, should have realized that my fears about opening up were only hurting me more. So yeah, Humpty Dumpty? All lies. No matter how shattered you may be feeling you can always be put back together again. All the king’s horseman and all the king’s men, also known as mental health resources and the people you care about, can only do so much if you don’t let them help you. Getting better starts with taking a certain degree of responsibility and accepting that you need help. That poor little eggman sure wasn’t gonna be able to fit all the tiny pieces of his shell back together himself, and chances are you wouldn’t be able to either, but with enough love, support, and professional help, even the most “broken” people can get back to “normal,” whatever that means.

Klein, the Assistant Vice President for Student Affairs. Meiskin is a part of Sigma Phi Epsilon (SigEp) Care, which is a committee aimed towards openness and vulnerability within the fraternity. He wanted to create something bigger, something for the whole campus. “Originally we had a few ideas, and this became the best for us to interact and get people to share who they are, outside of their major at a tech school.” Meiskin said. Brenner, who is not a member of SigEp, joined this project to create a page “to promote openness and vulnerability.” By sharing something personal with Humans of Stevens, “you’re taking the power away from those who would spread it as gossip,” Brenner said. “We’re not looking for gossip in the first place! Everyone thinks this school is so small; however, it is surprising how much can be learned from people we do not normally interact with.” To both of them, the point of Humans of Stevens is “to have people tell their stories,” Meiskin said. “The bigger goal […] is that by having people who you may know, or not know, share their stories, the overall culture of Stevens is to be more open and willing to share

something about themselves.” When asked what they would like to achieve by the end of the semester for the page, Meiskin simply stated, “I just want to spread openness as much as possible before I graduate, like a legacy after I am gone.” While Meiskin had a wholesome goal, Brenner reflected on a more quantitative one: “I’ll be honest,” he said, “my goal is to have more followers than all the tea pages.” (Humans of Stevens has 449 followers at the time of writing.) How can students take part in the Humans of Stevens? Interviews for the page are taken in person. The two owners have their cameras on them pretty much all the time. They are starting to post about their friends; however, their goal “is to be asking students we pass on the street or on campus.” On the Humans of Stevens account, students can find a link to a Google Form for people to fill out if they want to get interviewed, but Meiskin and Brenner “want to just wander around campus and talk.” “A big issue across the nation right now is the average students covering issues,” Meiskin expressed. “We want to have Stevens campus and culture more open to sharing things about themselves.”

“There is nothing in nature like it. Not in robins or bison or in the banging tails of your hunting dogs and not in blossoms or suckling foal. Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive…” -Toni Morrison, Paradise It was the middle of December 2018, around midnight, when I was walking home (1700 Park, at the time) from campus. On my way back, I decided to stop by Weehawken Cove. I sat on a bench, pulled out my poetry book, and wrote until my fingers were numb from the air. Then I took off my shoes, my socks, and told myself it would be okay. I have always felt a cloud hanging over me, ever since I was young. And like a cloud, I’ve had weather patterns of my own. For days it could be red-hot anger, for days it could be disinterest in all things, for days it could be sadness for no apparent reason; and I never once questioned that something was not right. Mental health and wellness was not a topic spoken about in my household. The best I would be given is to “be strong” or be “the man of the household”, and so I complied, and tried to bury my feelings. When I came to Stevens, I had no obligation to do those things, but that also meant I had to face what I internalized. That night, in the middle of December, was one of many attempts. But what felt different that time is that it was the furthest I had gotten. Had it not been for worrying about what the consequences of my actions might be, I can’t tell you what the future might have held. But what I can tell you is that I promised never to do that to myself again. I promised myself I would seek help. Scheduling an appointment with Counseling and Psychological Services felt alien to me, and it felt like I was revealing things I wish I could hide. Being forced to call or walk-in to make that first intake was a step I struggled taking. Even though it was just a receptionist, and everything was confidential, having to say “I need help,” was never something I had to do before. I have always been an independent person. I have always figured out things on my own. And to have to relinquish that power in this process was the toughest step I had to make. But I had to get well. After a few sessions, I was diagnosed with severe Seasonal Affective Disorder (now known as Depression with seasonal pat-

tern), layered on with a mild depression that lingered throughout the year. I am a problem-solver at heart, but I knew this was no problem I could solve. This was a part of me. And that didn’t necessarily mean I had to embrace it, but it did mean I had to face it. I made an action plan with CAPS to sustain myself through the rest of winter that year. That was the first time in my life I did things with an intention to better myself. What I took the most from these sessions is to do things more mindfully, and putting myself first. Much of my life is rushing getting from point A to point B, but throughout this time, I felt each and every motion and emotion in what I did. When I’d wake up in the morning, I would give myself time to form a more formal routine. Feeling the soap bubble in my hand from washing my face, or standing in the sun a little longer when I opened my blinds. When I made myself meals, I would put careful attention into every step. Listening and watching the water boil when I made pasta, or kneading cookie dough with extra purpose. When I went to sleep at night, I took time to meditate. I let each and every sound, smell and outside sensation find its way within. And my life slowly started to change. I don’t like to talk about myself – well, at least things like this – but I think it’s important to be more open about my story. Since March of 2019, I have not fallen back into a depressive episode. I have kept those things with me everyday, and had I not sought out help and simply made a “self-love” plan for myself, I can’t say that I wouldn’t be experiencing love at this very moment. Valentine’s day is a day of love, but we most commonly associate the day with loving those around you. Yes, I’m a little tight I won’t be getting a teddy bear and roses this year, but I think I’ll celebrate this year by fostering love with myself. Channeling love for others into love for me. It will never be selfish to care for your soul and corporeal form. You deserve to treat yourself kindly and with intention, things we commonly forget. College is not an easy place, let alone Stevens. We fall in love so easily with others and with material, or even immaterial, things. Love is beautiful. Love is painful. Love is being plucked by thorns until you finally feel blooming roses. Love is a process. Love is an intention. Take time to fall in love with yourself today.

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue

AM I STRESSED?

NATALIE

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

BY POOJA RAJADURAI Mental health has become an increasingly difficult subject to navigate in the public sphere. Every movement advocating for the destigmatization of mental health issues ostensibly invites a pushback that claims millennials and Generation Z are overly sensitive and mental health does not warrant a concerted effort to maintain. The problem with the resulting polarization doesn’t arise from the number of people disagreeing with mental health efforts (counseling has become undeniably more normalized in the past few years), it arises from the nature of social polarization to silence those without strong opinions on the matter. When the conversation about mental health is halted before it has even been given a chance to be properly discussed, mental health becomes an issue individuals have to work out for themselves. Without the right information, it’s easy to be uncertain about where to draw the line between “I need to talk to someone” and “I think I’m okay for now.” Other factors also impact this internal debate, such as prior experience dealing with mental health issues, personal characteristics, and family, but it’s important to remember that talking to a professional should always be considered with an open mind. In truth, my own experiences dissuade me from reaching out to professionals even when I am feeling particularly low. The tendency of immigrant parents to distrust the process of seeking specialized attention for mental health issues has been well documented and can be accurately applied to my own family. My mother, who had always been accustomed to keeping personal matters contained, felt a strong sense of “what can my child tell a stranger that she can’t tell me?” even during times it would have been appropriate for me to seek outside help. Fortunately for me, my mother understands me well and decided to take an objective approach when talking to me about my problems, keeping in mind a child’s propensity to be led astray from reality without blaming me for it. For example, when I started to randomly obsess over what I had seen on TV, or repeatedly question the likelihood of some depressing incident happening to myself, she would try to put things in

MIND-BODY

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Here is a sampling of responses from one class, with students’ names changed. Tyler wrote about his brother’s depression, Karen about the suicide of a teenage friend, Trevor the heroin addiction of his girlfriend’s mother. Melanie admitted that she never felt much sympathy for people who were depressed until, out of the blue, “IT” struck her: One minute I am a happy girl, I have had a perfectly good life so far, and I have never really pondered anything upsetting or had any major setbacks. The next minute IT happens… stress, anxiety, dietary changes, sleeping changes, moodiness, risky behavior, apathy, hopelessness. IT hit me like a bulldozer out of left field. One drawback of this assignment is that papers are impossible to grade. If Tyler reveals his fear that he shares his brother’s tendency toward depression, I’m not going to complain that the ending of his essay needs tweaking. But the papers are for the most part almost too compelling. The authors seem to find disclosing their personal troubles cathartic. As Melanie wrote: When I finally started talking about the problems I was having, it turned out that so many people around me were having or had had similar issues. Several of my close friends came out to me about their struggles with depression, and many of them are currently on treatment for depression. One of the worst aspects of mental illness is that it isolates us from others precisely when we most need companionship and help. We feel strange and ashamed, so we keep our illness secret, which can make it worse. Sharing our suffering can relieve our pain and help others, by letting them know that they are not alone. That’s why I applaud the editors and writers of The Stute for devoting this issue to mental health. The more we talk to each other about this painful topic, the better. John Horgan directs the Stevens Center for Science Writings. Some of the material in this column comes from his 2018 book Mind-Body Problems.

perspective for me without making me feel like I was crazy. Even when preparing to go to college the summer after senior year, my mom stressed the importance of being happy and how there were other ways I could become successful in life if I felt I couldn’t handle school. Fortunately for my mother, I never suffered from full-f ledged depression or anxiety that would have forced her to take what she would have considered extreme measures to help me. However, that also made me form an aversion to the idea of seeking outside help because doing so would make me feel as though I am assigning weight to a problem that I would not like to be exacerbated. I have only ever relied on an intimate connection for advice. I would be lying to myself if I rejected any necessity for counseling. In high school I probably placed extra stress on myself for not being able to measure up academically to my twin sister— being compared to a sibling is a very common nuisance, but let me stress the hurtfulness of a math teacher telling you that you should be getting better grades considering your sister has the highest grades in the same eighth-period class. I also had a hard time transitioning to the college social scene because the demographic looked so unlike my hometown’s, and I didn’t know how to cope without having my sister around anymore—for all the strife I faced from comparison to her, she had always stood by me for 18 years. Clearly I have at least a few experiences that one might consider reason to reach out to a professional even though none of these concerns cause me any prolonged feelings of sadness, anger, or unhappiness, and they probably don’t for most people either. The human experience mandates the development of an imperfect psyche through the accumulation of our infinite interactions, be it with other people or ourselves. That is to say, everyone comes with their own baggage. Such concerns don’t have to be the cause of a chronic mental health issue. However, it’s important to notice that just because they don’t have any crippling effects, it doesn’t mean they’re not worth talking about. It’s normal to not have a stance on addressing mental health issues,

especially given the current social climate and, more importantly, when it comes to addressing the fact that we might want to talk to a mental health professional ourselves. It’s hard to know what we’re feeling at any given time, especially in college when our senses are constantly being overloaded. Sometimes we may even find it hard to make time to evaluate our own stress levels;

in that case, considering whether or not to seek professional help becomes a secondary problem. But it’s something worth considering no matter where we come from because there are people out there who want to help and might have the words you need to hear. Even if you don’t have an extenuating need to hear them, they might just help you go about your day.

DIGITAL DRAWING BY NATALIE TODARO.

Theater: My Escape From Life’s Comedies and Tragedies BY JULIA WIERZBICKI If I’m being honest, I can’t remember a time when I was in school and wasn’t stressed. Even in middle school when I really shouldn’t have been so worried about schoolwork, I was fixated on being the best of the best. There were some days where I felt overwhelmed, overworked, and utterly helpless. But there was always one thing that was able to help me through whatever I was going through — the arts and, more specifically, theater. To give a little background, I’ve been acting since I was in first grade. My first show was Cinderella in which I had a blast dancing as a mouse and saying my single line as “young Cinderella.” Over the years, I’ve been in a plethora of other shows, the most recent being Stevens’ production of Much Ado About Nothing (come see the show this weekend in DeBaun!) I’ve done happy, uplifting shows (Once on This Island) and dark, cutting shows (Chicago). No matter the type of production, the one commonality between all of them is that they’ve been an escape for me when I’ve most needed them. On the surface, acting is simply pretending to be something you’re not. That’s the shallow side of it. We put on costumes and makeup and put other people’s words in our mouths for an audience’s

entertainment. But the show gets good, and the acting becomes therapeutic, when we’re able to work through our own emotions in a production. It’s kind of hard to explain, but I’ll do my best to describe it. As an example, I’m going to use a show I was recently in called Godspell. In it, I portrayed a character that was accused of being disloyal and was shunned by the people around her. There’s one scene where the other actors are rearing up to throw various objects at me and I’m cowering in the middle of the stage. I then go on to sing a song about longing and wishing to be by someone’s side. While I was rehearsing, it was the middle of my senior year of high school. I was extremely excited and stressed and was feeling so many emotions that I could hardly work through them all. It was hard to describe the way I was feeling — until Godspell. When I was in the scene and the people around me were preparing to attack from all sides, I could finally put an image to what I was feeling. And when I was able to sing the song that followed, I was able to finally release all those pent-up emotions. When I stopped shying away from what I was feeling and decided to embrace it instead, the song took f light. I was told I moved people to tears. After over 20 productions,

I’ve learned that theater is much more than a hobby of mine. It’s a way to work through things from an outside lens. The characters provide an opportunity to portray a variety of different scenes and circumstances that would otherwise be impossible to picture unless they occurred in real life. Not every show lines up to what you’re currently going through in life, but when it does, it allows a different type of release that can really change the way you see the world. There are other passions that offer a release of emotion, but I would argue that there is none quite like theater. I cannot express the opportunities that acting has provided me and the friends that I have made along the way that share this ability to conquer what we’re feeling and leave it onstage. Theater forces you to be honest with parts of yourself you may not have even guessed were inside you. There’s a vulnerability required in good acting that you can’t find anywhere else on Earth. I still have so much to learn when it comes to theater, but for now, I’m just enjoying the relief it offers me from life’s burdens. A good performance can leave you riveted and moved beyond words. And when you act your part well, it provides an escape like no other. That, truly, is what theater is to me.

with myself. Fortunately enough, I was able to pull myself out of that depression. My sister was starting therapy and treatment, and I was tired of feeling so terrible all the time. I told my parents everything, and I’m very grateful that they were supportive and aided me in getting help. Things began to look positive. I was seeing a therapist once a week, learning skills and mental techniques to help me cope with comments from bullies. My mental health was improving and, after two years of going to therapy on a weekly basis, I decided I didn’t need to go as often. But, shortly after that decision, my life changed drastically. At the end of my freshman year of high school, my friends began ignoring me. They started hanging out without me, and they even went as far to leave me alone at a table at a birthday party after multiple attempts at trying to talk to them. Over the summer before sophomore year, they told me outwardly that they didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I spent sophomore year alone at school. I tried making new friends, but at a school with 50 students in my grade who I had known since kindergarten, there really wasn’t anywhere I could go. I was confused and alone, and surrounded by people who had bullied me. All I wanted was to get out. Although this was extremely difficult to deal with, I didn’t spiral into a depression like I had when I was younger. Instead of feeling hopeless, I thought about my future. My parents and I discussed the possibility of transferring to a high school the next town over to hopefully salvage my junior and senior years. Eventually we decided I would, and once it was confirmed I was instantly happy. I could see a bright future for myself, and a fresh start. The last time that I walked out of my old high school was pure bliss, and writing this I have tears in my eyes thinking back to how amazing it felt. Socially, junior and senior year were great. I myself was mentally OK and did not see a therapist. But my sister was struggling again. She was developing an eating disorder, and one summer she left to live at a rehabilitation center to seek help. What I didn’t know yet was that mental illness affects everyone around the individual struggling. But I wasn’t feeling as bad as I did in the past, so I thought I was fine. I graduated high school and started college. My sister was still struggling, so being away from home was difficult. I was also dealing with academic stress and feeling overwhelmed now that college had started. And I knew how beneficial therapy could be, so I started talking to someone again just to clear my head and get my thoughts out. But a lot more ended up coming out than I ever expected would. I started to see a new therapist and it was like she could see inside my subconscious. She made me realize how growing up with a sick sibling made me want to portray myself as strong even when I didn’t feel it. She made me realize that the reason I feel so insecure all the time is because I never had the opportunity as a child to see my body in a way different than how bullies told me it was. My point with all of this is that I am still figuring things out. I am just now realizing that the things I went through as a child affected me and are continuing to affect me on a daily basis. But I have improved. So. Much. For the past four months I have been seeing the same therapist once a week, and the progress I have made is something I cannot put into words. Mental health is real. Last time I checked, it exists. And it’s not something only a select few of the human population struggle with. We all do. Therapy is not what you see in the movies – lying on the couch and talking poetically about your feelings to someone with a notepad. Therapy is relief, and joy, and tears, and anger, and triumph. It takes patience and practice, and it can be hard sometimes. But it’s nothing you can’t handle. Do not wait until you are completely broken to seek help in putting yourself back together. Allow yourself to improve. Be sensitive to others; you never ever know what the person next to you has been through or is going through. None of us are ever OK all of the time. Be kind to your mind and give it space to get better. Don’t keep it all inside. Take care of yourself.

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February 14, 2020

The Mental Health Issue

Coloring