Ta'Mia Myers
Ta'Mia Myers and I met in the summer of 2018 at Georgetown University, where we worked. I forgot the exact details, but I remember us becoming fast friends after she found out I wrote Black LGBTQ+ books. She got on Amazon and purchased my book immediately, which is where things jump-started
If I could describe Ta'Mia in one word, I'd say: spiritual. Whenever we talked, the conversation veered into things around Black culture, consciousness, and our LGBTQ+ experiences. She was always reading, and the imagery on her laptop depicting Black feminine divinity blew my mind.
Of course, we laughed, like when I had a crush on the Hispanic guy at the front desk counter. Or the many times she put me up on shoe game.
When I think about The Modern Queer, I think about people like Ta'Mia: bold, inspiring, spiritual, and unapologetically fucking Black. But that's my interpretation. So throughout our interview, I hope you'll marvel at her journey and understand a bit about who she is
Most important: I want to introduce y'all to my fucking bomb-ass friend.
It's been a year and a half since we last saw each other. What’s happened since D.C.?
Life has been good! I graduated with a degree in Psychology, and I’m studying in a Master’s program for history, so I absolutely cannot complain about life.
Aye, that’s epic! Congrats on Black success! So, give us a little run down of yourself for those who don’t know who you are.
I’m a 23-year-old Black Lesbian born and raised in Texas. I come from a family of four, and I’m the baby. I have one older sister and a beautiful niece named Ava.
.
Interview by Xzavier V. Simon Photography by Ta'Mia Myers
"I honestly believe my journey to selfdiscovery has been amazing. It’s been a lot of ups and downs, especially being a more masculine-presenting lesbian, but all in all, I’ve been surrounded by loving and supportive people."
I was raised in a small town named Lufkin in East Texas and moved to Houston when I was 18 to attend the University of Houston and have been here ever since. I had a pretty regular life growing up. I had a mom, dad, and an older sister that lived with me. My grandmother was a five-minute walk from my house, so that’s where you could find us most of the time.
That sounds pretty regular. [laughs]
I played softball, soccer, and sung in the choir My sister did gymnastics and cheerleading, so we spent almost every night out of the week at the gym,
batting cages, or the fields
Growing up in a small town, I went to school and did all of my extracurricular with the same kids From Pre-K up until senior year was the same group of kids.
Funny enough, that’s how I grew up in Michigan. Beecher is one of those communities within a community.
Yeah, life was routine and consistent really.
One of the things I peeped and why we clicked was your sense of spirituality and Black consciousness. Where does your center come from, and how has it shaped your life?
I was raised C O G I C, which is Church of God in Christ, and they are incredibly strict
Damn for real!?
Like no makeup for women, skirts down to the ankles, all of that shit. My great-grandfather and uncle were both pastors, so that’s just what my family knew. So even though I don’t claim a religion and consider myself more spiritual than anything, that upbringing shaped me.
So that explains the spirit, but what about the Black?
There was a huge emphasis on Blackness and pride in Blackness that I still carry with me. They really encouraged a relationship with God and not just the church I’ve taken those things and kind of molded them into my own belief ya know? I walk with that pride and spirituality that was ingrained in me every day. Couldn’t get rid of it if I tried.
It's kinda rare I get an opportunity to talk with Black LGBTQ women. It’s one reason why I loved our conversations so much. I know a little bit, but what has your experience in this arena been like?
I honestly believe my journey to self-discovery has been amazing It’s been a lot of ups and downs especially being a more masculine presenting lesbian But all in all I’ve been surrounded by loving and supportive people.
So how do you define yourself?
I can’t really define all of those things. I think my experience of them individually and together changes literally every day. Some days being a Black queer woman makes me feel like I can take on the world and some days it just feels like a burden ya know? They’re not something that I can’t take off so my experiences with them changes daily
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I find that everyone has that moment of realization, where it's
like ‘oh shit what is this feeling?’ [laughs] When was that moment for you?
So, I was absolutely a late bloomer It wasn’t until middle school that I even started looking at anybody in an intimate way and I think that has a lot to do with my religious upbringing. I can distinctly remember a girl that transferred to my school in 6th grade and she was a more masculine girl and I remember having the biggest crush on her. [laughs]
See that’s what I’m talking about. I was in the 7th grade when suddenly all the boys started looking different for some reason. [laughs]
Looking back on it now, I realize it was more of envy but she was a flame for me. After that it was pretty clear to me that I was attracted to girls. Today, I am much more secure in myself and have become what I envied. I dress how I want, have sex with who I want, and am completely stepping in my truth every damn day.
And that’s that on that! [laughs] I lived in Dallas for three months and it was a totally different experience. Up north we tend to like southern folk because of the accent, and hear about southern comfort and hospitality. Is this true?
thing [laughs], but Black southern hospitality is also a thing. Being Black in the south, you’re going to encounter some folks that aren’t too fond of you so you gotta work around that But Black southern people are hands down some of the sweetest folks you’ll ever meet They have a way of making you feel at home even when you’re the furthest from it and I yet to see that in another group of people.
What’s the thing you love most about living in the south?
THE FOOD! [laughs] Nobody beating us in the culinary game. I know I have a lot of places left to visit but the comfort of some good southern soul food just can’t be beat But also, I just love how country it is if you can believe it
I believe it. [laughs] My family is originally from the countriest part Louisiana.
Coming from the south is so unique. Like I remember summers with my cousins shooting squirrels in the backyard with BB guns and catching lizards. That’s not an experience you get in big cities.
Say what!?
[laughs] Ya know, riding 4wheelers down to my friend’s house and riding up to the lake to go fishing
Southern hospitality is definitely a
Beecher has a country feel. My brothers and I played all kinda sports and ran wild in the woods
"Protecting Black and Brown Transwomen, men and LGBTQ+ children - especially down here in the South. I definitely would like to see that advocacy brought to the front table."
in our backyard. Definitely can't experience that in like a New York or Chicago.
Now that I’m older I cherish those small things that I can’t do as freely as I used to
You mentioned traveling. Where are some places you'd like to go?
Everywhere! I’m currently working my way through the states with Colorado being my next target. I’m hoping to make it there sometime at the beginning of the year But I have zero limitations when it comes to traveling. If I can book a ticket there, I’m down to go. I am very adamant about getting to Greece though. It has always been so beautiful to me so that’s one place that is on the bucket list
What are your inspirations?
History! As I mentioned, I’m currently in a history master’s program and it is serving as inspiration for me right now. The world moves in patterns and cycles so there’s truly nothing the world hasn’t seen before and I think that’s fascinating I study history because it helps you to know what to expect; to see those repeated patterns before it’s too late. It serves as a barrier for me, prepping me for what’s going to happen next.
I know you're a huge sneaker fan, but what are some other things you like to do and are a fan of?
I’m really into photography. It’s rare to see me in photos because I’m always taking them. Other than that, I’m normally just reading.
Yes, because you always had a book, or several with you.
I love history so I’m always on the hunt for something new. Me and my best friend run around Houston looking for small book shops so I can find something fresh that I’ve never heard of or read before.
We spent a lot of our time discussing Black LGBTQ+ issues. To you, what are some of the issues you see/feel are important?
Protecting Black and Brown Transwomen and men - especially down here in the South
To many from the transcommunity are having their lives cut short.
You see a lot of violence against them. I think because of the heavy religious presence and the idea that men are supposed to be one thing and women are supposed to be another just lights that hate ya know?
It’s become commonplace which is infuriating because religion and these implanted ideas of race, gender, and sexuality have really blinded us. You only see what’s between a person’s leg. You never stop to see who they are as spiritual beings.
It’s disgusting and I hate it. There are a lot of advocacy groups here in Houston and I think that’s beautiful because we gotta figure out a way to cut out this violence Also protecting LBGTQ+ children
It reminds me of the interview I did with The Pastry Chef. The fact that he lives his life in a constant state of anxiety over being found out about his sexuality. No one should have to live their life that way.
[Yes] adding in questioning your sexuality with a family that may or may not be accepting is too much. We all know what it’s like to be a kid and not know what the hell is going on. I definitely would like to see that advocacy brought to the front table
I remember seeing a lot of imagery you had that focused on Black women empowerment, divinity, and love. How do these themes and more represent and empower you?
I mean as a Black woman I have always found self-empowerment through other successful Black women. For starters, I think Black women are some of the most magnificent beings on the planet.
Agreed...
In my lifetime I have rarely seen a Black woman fold or not carry through with what she says. Seeing that I knew from an early
there was nothing that would ever get the best of me because I was a part of a group that had never given up. I made myself a part of that mold and rep it every day.
Being raised by Black woman, I've come to witness how much women have to endure on all angles. How do you manage to keep pushing forward in the face of obstacles and adversities?
Of course, you already know, but I meditate.
Yes, indeed I remember! Let's talk about THAT!
I take everything inside of me and release it out into the universe. I can never hold on to bad energy ya know?
Most definitely. You have to release not just bad energy, but the energy you receive from visiting places, other people, and things you see and watch on the internet.
I have to get it out of me and meditation has been the best way for me
Meditating is incredibly powerful. It changed my entire life, and transformed my life into something damn near otherworldly. How often do you do it?
on every new day with a fresh mind and end my day with one too.
When I was teaching people how to meditate, that was one of the main points I drove home.
It seems so small but it really has helped me in making every day a clean slate and reminding myself that I don’t have to carry yesterday’s mistakes with me into the next day.
One of the reasons I wanted to interview you, was because you have this amazing passion for Black feminism.
I am extremely passionate about Black Feminism. In every aspect, there are so many small pockets of it that I find myself immersed in it. From older models of what Black feminism and intersectionality to new theorist and their idea of modern day feminism I think that Black women empowering themselves and others, no matter what descriptive label you put on it is liberating.
On a similar note, family is critical to Black people, and you mention being raised around your mother, grandmother and sister. How have these women shaped you, and what have been, if any, some of the challenges you've faced in regards to family and your intersectionalities?
mom is only two hours away from both me and my sister. My connection with my family has shaped me a lot, mainly because I find myself making life decisions with them in mind. I not as reckless because I think of them.
That makes sense...
As far as my sexuality goes, it was quite bumpy in the beginning. Coming from a religious home, there was the idea that homosexuality was wrong so we had to overcome that together.
How did ya'll overcome that?
It took tears, anger, and some understanding to get to where we are now but it made us closer and taught all of us a lot about ourselves.
Whew! [laughs]. What are a couple things people don't know about you?
I pride myself on being an open book so not much of me is unknown. Maybe that despite my personality that I am incredibly introverted It takes so much out of me to constantly be the goofball and a leaning shoulder for everyone but I try to be whatever people need me to be.
This, "be whatever people need me to be" seems to be a trend in these interviews. [laughs]
I start my day with a session and end the day with one so I can take
My family is everything We are extremely close especially since my
"I meditate. I take everything inside of me and release it out into the universe. I can never hold on to bad energy, ya know?"
Please don’t get me wrong I am not complaining but I think that sometimes we get so lost in what other people need us for that we don’t focus on ourselves and I am very guilty of that.
In what ways have things like that changed you?
Everything that I have gone through has turned me into a much more empathic person. I think when I was growing up I wondered why people couldn’t just kind of man up and get shit done like I do. [laughs]
Well damn!! [laughs]
I’ve realized that everyone doesn’t have the privileges I had. Now knowing what I know about myself and how the world sees me, I’m able to use that perspective to connect and try to understand other people
I ask everybody this question but, what are some words of wisdom you can give Black LGBTQ folk, particularly women?
Only you can define who you are. I feel like as queer women in general we spend so much time trying to figure out what type of person we are by looking into everything but ourselves. Nobody can tell you who or what you are going to be in this life but you. You hold all the cards in your deck and it’s up to you to play them how you want.
What is your biggest goal?
To become a professor!
Plot twist!! What’s the reason behind that?
My mother is a teacher so education has always been big in my life. I can remember almost every teacher I have ever had and how they made me feel I want to be imprint for somebody in the best way possible As far as spirituality and emotional maturity, I think my biggest goal is to just be receptive. To be open to whatever is coming my way no matter what or who it is. To welcome all things with a open mind and thoughtfulness.
Who inspires you?
Audre Lorde has been a big inspiration to me because of how proud she was of her sexuality. There was never any shame surrounding it and that is dope as fuck to me Angela Davis I’ve read all of her books and her thoughts on Black Feminism have shaped how I move through life I definitely look to my mom and sister, they are the literal strongest people I know and I adore them.
Well, we are at the end of this little thing here. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s been WAY to long since we talked. In conclusion what is something you want to leave our readers with?
Amani, it means peace in Swahili. It’s my mantra I say when I meditate and ultimately the goal I think we all want to reach. So whatever peace is for you, get there and don’t let anyone get in the way of that serenity Find your peace
"Only you can define who you are. Nobody can tell you who or what you are going to be in this life but you."
THE MODERN QUEER
TA'MIA MYERS
V O L . V I | J A N ' 2 0 P U B L I S H E D I N F L I N T , M I C H I G A N
