14 February 2024 by The Manitoban

February 14, 2024

SINCE 1914

VOL. 110, NO. 22

Vol. 110

No. 22

THEMANITOBAN.COM 109 HELEN GLASS BUILDING UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA WINNIPEG, MB 204. 474. 6535 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Gillian Brown

News

pages 3 to 5

Research & Technology

pages 6 to 7

Editorial

page 8

Comment

pages 10 to 14

Diversions

pages 15 to 16

Arts & Culture

pages 17 to 18

Sports

pages 19 to 20

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Sarah Cohen

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REPORTERS NEWS

Alicia Rose

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NEWS

Michaela de Hoop

RESEARCH & TECHNOLOGY COMMENT

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Rhea Bhalla

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ARTS & CULTURE

Alison Holliday

SPORTS

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News

February 14, 2024 news@themanitoban.com

To the streets: sex and love on campus UM students answer the hottest questions Sarah Cohen and Kyra Campbell, staff

e’re from the news desk of the Manitoban. Leading up to Valentine’s Day, we decided to take our burning questions about sex and love to the streets and hear what U of M students have to say. So, sit back, relax and enjoy some the answers we collected, and perhaps find your next date —relationship

Dakota McDonald

Adam Foster

Zoe Oughton

status included.

Science Single Q: Explain your first kiss story. A: It was in my house on the couch, we were watching a movie, and it was really awkward, it was like a peck.

Arts Taken Q: Have you ever fantasied about someone other than your partner during sex? A: This is incriminating! Like maybe in the past, yeah, like a previous partner.

U1 Single Q: What is your biggest ick? A: People who look down on intelligence […] I had a guy one time say to me, “you’re pretty, why do you need to be smart?” and I was like, leave. Please.

ural.

Logan Moskal

Arts and science Taken Q: What is your ideal first date? A: Movie and then laying in a truck bed under the stars […]

Jane D’Lion

Science Taken Q: Do you believe in soulmates, and if so, why? A: Yeah, I think so. Because I feel like there are groups of people in this life where you’re just meant to meet them, and eventually if you do meet them, it’s like it will feel nat-

on a hill or a mountain. Jack-

son Trippier

photos / Matthew Merkel / staff

Tracy Karuhogo

Joshua Urbina

Ivan Nunez Gamez

Arts Single (and “ready to mingle”) Q: Do you believe in soulmates and why? A: In Latin America we call it the red thread theory, so it’s like you’re always connected to that person regardless of circumstances, regardless of the place you are [...] and genuinely I do think that you’re always going to find that person regardless, I don’t know if I’ve met mine — I hope not because all of them have been trashy.

U1 Taken Q: How do you know when you are in love? A: For me it becomes the time when you stop thinking about having to do things for other people [...] I don’t have to think about doing nice things for her, I just do it. Like money for example, I’m not scared to spend money on her because I know money will come back, but seeing her smile [is priceless].

Arts Taken Q: What is your ideal first date? A: I’m a foodie so trying out a new restaurant, like a niche restaurant, would be nice.

Engineering Single Q: What is your biggest ick? A: If they’re half faking, if they’re trying to blow you off and just completely waste your time. If you’re in a relationship, you’re in a relationship, it’s not wishy-washy.

Hayley Clemis

Arts It’s complicated Q: When do you know you are in love? A: When I can completely be myself without feeling nervous or having to hide any part of myself.

Alyna Chan

Daniel Kowalczuk

Asper Single Q: What song describes your sex life? A: Litty (feat. Tory Lanez).

Asper Single Q: What is your definition of amazing sex? A: Both parties are satisfied.

Gurleen Mann

Science Taken Q: Have you ever fantasized about someone other than your partner during sex? A: No, is that lame?

Vol. 110, No. 22 news@themanitoban.com

News

Homo Hop returns after five-year hiatus U of W Rainbow Lounge’s fundraiser dance last held before COVID-19 Colton McKillop, staff of lonely.” he University of Winni“All the ads you see, all the peg Students’ Associ- things you see about Valenation’s (UWSA) 2SLGBTQIA+ tine’s Day, they focus on heterthemed dance, the Homo onormative relationships and Hop, returned for Valen- so it can be kind of hard to tine’s Day after a five year hia- relate to that as a queer pertus initially triggered by the son,” he said. COVID-19 pandemic. “We wanted to make Homo The dance, titled “Star- Hop this really inclusive place Crossed Queers: The Return where you don’t have to have of the Homo Hop,” was organ- a partner on Valentine’s Day ized by UWSA’s Rainbow and you don’t have to be this Lounge, and took place on heteronormative ideal of a Saturday, Feb. 10 at the Win- relationship.” nipeg Art Gallery-Qaumajuq The last Homo Hop took (WAG-Qaumajuq). It fea- place in 2019, the twenty-sixth tured DJ Corvo, a cash bar year the event had occurred, and snacks from Wow Cater- but a combination of COVIDing. Students and non-stu- 19 and Rainbow Lounge’s dents over 18 years old were co-ordinator position being welcome. vacant in early 2023 had until James Webster, co-ordin- now prevented it from hosting ator of the Rainbow Lounge, the event again. said the Homo Hop gives Clark Gonzales, a U of 2SLGBTQIA+ people a chance W mathematics student, to “maybe have that prom attended the Homo Hop this important that we continue experience that they didn’t year. He said although he had this event to make sure that have in high school.” not attended the dance prior every single new student comWebster ing in is once said at many again wel“You don’t have to have a partner on proms, 2SLGcomed into the BTQIA+ people body Valentine’s Day and you don’t have to be this student are “expected and feels safe.” heteronormative ideal of a relationship” to wear dress This year, that [they’re] attendees were not super com- — James Webster, UWSA Rainbow Lounge co-ordinator e n c o u r a g e d fortable with,” to wear forsuch as a dress when they to the pandemic, he had seen mal attire as part of the prom would rather wear a suit, or photos and heard older stu- theme. vice versa. dents talk about their memThe Homo Hop has been Webster said for a lot of ories of the dance. held at a range of locations young 2SLGBTQIA+ people, Given this long history, from U of W to Club 200, but Valentine’s Day can “feel kind Gonzales said it is “very Webster said Rainbow Lounge photo / Ebunoluwa Akinbo / staff

chose the WAG-Qaumajuq to avoid a club atmosphere and because they wanted “somewhere a little bit fancier.” “I went to my prom and it was held at the RBC Convention Center and that just made it feel really official and really classy and it made it feel really special and I kind of wanted to replicate that feeling,” he said. Gonzales said some students may “have grown up in very different” circumstances than others and it was good for them to get a chance to experience a prom atmosphere they may have missed

out on in high school. Proceeds from the dance will go to support the Rainbow Lounge and will be used for future events and supplies, such as snacks and safer sex materials. “I like that the proceeds are going to the Rainbow Lounge because I have been to the Rainbow Lounge a lot and I see exactly what the resources are going towards,” Gonzales said.

What Indigenous knowledges can teach us about love Elder and Grandfather share traditional teachings on the meaning of love Michaela de Hoop, staff being the one that shows us supports students in a holistic Elder Norman Meade, one and expresses that love we way, shared some traditional of U of M’s Elders-in-resi- have for one another,” he said. ceremonies which show the In many Indigenous cul- Creator’s love. He referenced dence, said that of the seven sacred teachings, “love may tures, dropping an eagle ceremonies where people feather in ceremony requires transition from one stage of be the most sacred.” life to the next, vision quests Meade explained the sig- a specific method of retrieval. The other teachings of the and Sun Dance ceremonies. nificance of Valentine’s Day, “We don’t say ‘I love you’ a holiday celebrating love, seven sacred teachings, or coinciding with the time Grandfather teachings, are in Dakota, but we do show it,” eagles return to Manitoba. honesty, humility, respect, said Wakita. Wakita shared an experiThe Eagle is valued in many wisdom, truth and courage. Indigenous nations because Which commonly corres- ence he recently had where a person he had of the belief prayed over that it is the was overtaken closest ani“We don’t say ‘I love you’ in Dakota, by the strong mal to Creator. but we do show it” smell of sweetSome nations grass. He knew believe the — Wanbdi Wakita, Grandfather it was the Eagle is a mesprayer he had senger, carrypond to the Sabe, Wolf, Buf- made for her being answered. ing prayers to the skies. “That’s Creator’s love,” he The teaching of love is com- falo, Beaver, Turtle and Bear, monly associated with the although variation in the ani- said. “We always say that in our prayers, for those who are Eagle. The Eagle brings back mals occurs between nations. Grandfather Wanbdi looking for something, ‘Crethe “deep emotion of love,” Wakita, who works with the U ator, give them a loving, give Meade said. “We look to the Eagle as of M’s Access Program, which them a holiness, give them a

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

blessing,’” Wakita said. Meade said that older people, younger people and animals feel depressed at times, but “love can overcome and defeat depression.” “In the winter months when people are feeling most

depressed, that’s when we can lift their hearts and lift their spirits by showing kindness, which is the branch of the deep root of love,” said Meade.

February 14, 2024 news@themanitoban.com

News

University Women’s Club hosts chocolate talk Doreen Pendgracs discusses varieties of chocolate for Valentine’s Day, offers samples

oreen Pendgracs, founder of Chocolatour, gave a presentation at the University Women’s Club (UWC) last Friday to “educate, entertain and entice chocolate lovers to explore the world through chocolate.” The event featured a talk by Pendgracs, author of the 2014 book Chocolatour: A Quest for the World’s Best Chocolate, a lunch and chocolate samples. The UWC was founded in 1909 by a group of women who wished to maintain contact following graduation and work to “advance women’s place in the community.” Pendgracs noted that some believe chocolate has “the powers of an aphrodisiac,” although scientists dispute this. “That’s partly why roses and chocolate and wine are in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and love,” she said. “Everybody loves chocolate, right? They say nine out of 10 people love chocolate and the tenth person’s lying.”

Pendgracs said she originally wanted to write a book on wine travel, but found that while there were many books on the subject, “nobody had ever done a book on chocolate travel.” After touring a cacao and coffee plantation in Dominican Republic, Pendgracs took interest in the chocolate making process. She travelled to Europe to begin her research and has since visited over 20 countries to learn about chocolate. Sue Bishop and Ellen Peel, the current co-presidents of UWC, have both been members for at least 10 years. Peel said that when the club started, women who pursued a university education at that time were “very unusual.” Bishop said she felt “fortunate to have been born when and where” she was. “At the time I was growing up, it was totally normal and pretty much expected that you would go on to some kind of post-secondary education or training,” she said.

In the past 10 to 15 years, Bishop said that the club has broadened to include people who share the interests and values of the club, not just on those who have had previous university education. Bishop called the club “a community of women who value education who come here to build friendship.” The club offers scholarships and extended education courses. Bishop said the club welcomes anyone to visit or take part in their events and continuing education programs, and find out whether the club “would be a place they might like to hang out.” Pendgracs said chocolate festivals and events bring both chocolate makers and chocolate lovers together from around the world. She said her Ukrainian background taught her to “savour” food. She said chocolate should not be chewed but melted “slowly in your mouth” to allow the flavours to be released. She emphasized the var-

photo / Matthew Merkel / staff

Alicia Rose, staff

Doreen Pendgracs, author of Chocolateur: A Quest for the World’s Best Chocolate, posing with her book.

iety of flavours chocolate can exhibit. “Chocolate can be sweet, but it can be savoury, it can

be sensual, it can be inspiring, and it also can promote love,” she said.

Research & Technology

Vol. 110, No. 22 research@themanitoban.com

Friends to lovers, romantic bonds founded on friendship U of M researcher studies the transition from friendship to dating Rhea Bhalla, staff

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

bout two-thirds of people in a romantic relationship were friends with their significant other before initiating a romantic partnership. Among those under the age of 29, this number is even higher, at 84 per cent. U of M professor of psychology Jessica Cameron studies romantic relationships — exploring how romantic feelings can from within a previously platonic relationship. “Because humans are inherently social animals, understanding how people relate to each other and the relationships they form is very critical to understanding human beings in general,” said Cameron. “It is such a big part of our lives.” She explained that in the friends-to-lovers pathway, also known as friendsfirst initiation, a bond forms between friends. In a small minority of friendships, the closeness and intimacy between friends sparks romantic interest. “I think they’ve formed that critical companionship in almost the opposite order than what we see in dating initiation,” Cameron said. In long-term romantic relationship, she noted that a strong friendship base is crucial. In the friends-first path, a friendship base is formed before the romantic attraction. Conversely, in dating initiation, a romantic attraction develops before the eventual friendship. “We know that either path in a long-term relationship common. 70 per cent of par- researchers asked participeople have that friendship ticipants stated that they had pants to think of a friend base,” Cameron said. “They no ulterior motives when that belongs to a gender they feel like they can trust each becoming friends and were experience attraction to. They other, they disclose a lot, they not initially romantically were then asked to indicate feel that connection with each interested in their partner. their romantic interest in other.” Moreover, participants their friend. Results showed There are other ways to were friends for an average that attraction to friends was begin a relavery low. tionship. Cam“On avereron’s study “To get those long-term outcomes of health age most found that and well-being derived from our relationships, people are not close to one interested in we first need to form them” in five people [romantic relafound their tionships] with s i g n i f i c a n t — Jessica Cameron, U of M professor of psychology their friends,” other through Cameron said. mutual friends, and another of nearly two years before “Their friends are just their nearly one in five met them entering a romantic partner- friends.” at school, university or col- ship. But some friendships lege. Other places to meet a “They’re not short friend- are different. Researchers partner included social gath- ships, it’s not a brief commit- like Cameron are aiming to erings, religious communities ment to a friendship that blos- unpack the unique nature of and through work. soms into a romance,” she friendships that develop into One question that the study said. “It is an investment.” romantic relationships, examaimed to answer is whether Cameron highlighted the ining what it is that makes people intentionally become common misconception that them different. friends with someone they men and women cannot be Cameron explained that hope to initiate a romantic friends without romantic friends-first initiation is relationship with. attraction developing. largely neglected as a field of This, she explained, is not In Cameron’s study, study.

“Relationship researchers really haven’t studied this,” she said. “They focus on what we call traditional dating initiation, where two relative strangers go out on a first date.” In order to provide advice and guidance for people interested in being in a relationship, Cameron emphasized the importance of understanding friends-first initiation. “To get those long-term outcomes of health and well-being derived from our relationships, we first need to form them,” Cameron said. The positive outcomes resulting from healthy relationships are numerous. People in committed relationships may produce less of the stress hormone cortisol. They may be less responsive to psychological stress. Social ties, including relationships, may also increase longevity. Research also shows that, among heart surgery patients,

those in a relationship are three times more likely to survive the first three months after surgery than their single counterparts. Patients also report less worry about their surgery and more confidence in handling post-surgery pain. “I’m hoping that by understanding these pathways and understanding how relationships form, eventually we’ll get to a stage where we can help people through that process,” Cameron said. For those looking to enter a romantic relationship, her advice is to simply go out and make friends. “Making friendships is good,” Cameron said. “What’s the worst that can happen? You get a long-term friend out of it.

February 14, 2024 research@themanitoban.com

Research & Technology

A digital love affair Exploring the intersection of artificial intelligence and human relationships Elah Ajene, staff n emerging technologies, discussions surrounding artificial intelligence (AI) often touch on its potential applications in intimate and sexual contexts. For some, it may simply be a matter of seeking casual connections. In any case, an algorithm remains ever available and free from judgment, even in the face of inebriated text messages. Director of the U of M Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics Neil McArthur is exploring this aspect of AI. His research sheds light on sexbots and AI companionship, prompting reflections on their implications for society. McArthur’s journey into research began with an observation of rapid technological advancements, spurring his curiosity about the ethical and societal ramifications. “I thought we were getting to a point where there were going to be fairly realistic human-like robots that could be used by people as companions, as helpers, as partners,” he said. However, while the development of physical sexbots faced challenges, the parallel progress in AI chatbots, particularly exemplified by ChatGPT, proved to be unexpectedly advanced. McArthur’s focus shifted to understanding how people interacted with and formed connections with these AI chatbots. His research revealed a multifaceted landscape where individuals engaged with AI chatbots for various purposes beyond mere companionship. From seeking emotional support during difficult times to using them as confidants or even religious guides, people demonstrated a spectrum of connections with these AI entities. McArthur discussed his analysis of Replika, an early AI chatbot, which illustrated the potential pitfalls of corporate control over such technologies. Launched in 2017, Replika allowed users to personalize an avatar according to their preferences, and choose

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

from various relationship study in some of the risks that healthy way,” McArthur said. statuses, including friend- come with these chatbots,” “We need to teach some prinship, sibling or romantic part- said McArthur. ciples of healthy relationships ner. Premium subscribers The integration of AI chat- with these AI,” he added. could access additional fea- bots into human relationships Fostering a positive and tures such as voice chat, erotic is not without its challenges. transparent attitude towards roleplay and receiving explicit While some individuals AI companionship is crucial — content from their AI com- may find these chatbots help- acknowledging their permapanions. ful in preparing for or supple- nence and potential benefits However, the company menting traditional human while ensuring accountabilrevised its terms of service relationships, there are con- ity from companies regarding — prohibiting users from cerns regarding abusive privacy and ethical principles. engaging in explicit conversa- behaviour and the blurring of “They’re here, and they’re tions with the chatbots. This boundaries between human here to stay,” said McArthur. resulted in a virtual “breakup” and AI interactions. “I think it’s really unhealthy between users and the chatIn assessing the broader to pretend to panic and overbots, which proved to be emo- societal attitudes towards AI react.” tionally challenging for many companionship, McArthur Education, both in schools individuals. and among therThe comapists, is vital “They’re here, and they’re here to stay” p a n y ’ s in promoting a b r u p t healthy inter— Neil McArthur, director of the U of M Centre for actions with AI p o l i c y changes companions and Professional and Applied Ethics showcased addressing any how users’ associated chalexperiences could be sud- urges for a positive yet cau- lenges in a non-stigmatizing denly influenced by corporate tious approach. manner. By promoting open decisions, he explained. “We want to make sure dialogue and ethical consider“It was a really good case people are using these in a ations, he believes society can

harness the potential benefits of AI companionship while mitigating potential risks. When contemplating the future of AI companionships, McArthur envisions rapid technological advancements including increased diversity in available options. He predicts a broader array of AI catering to diverse preferences and needs, offering users a more nuanced experience. “What people see right now, when they use ChatGPT, is still a very restricted version of what’s possible,” McArthur explained. “When new companies enter the market and those restrictions are lifted, I think that there’s going to be a lot more opportunity if people have lots of different kinds of relationships.”

Editorial

Vol. 110, No. 22 editor@themanitoban.com

Contraceptive realities are pregnant with inequalities Rethinking contraceptive roles in a gender-balanced world is a must Elah Ajene, staff

graphic / Elizabeth Gillich / volunteer

t was a random Tuesday in primary six when the head teacher, Mrs. Joy, had split the entire school in half. Girls headed to the auditorium while boys were escorted to begin P.E. earlier than usual. We sat down, and as snacks were passed around the room, Mrs. Joy began her lecture on sex education. Her entire talk was filled with metaphors on receiving divine wrath. Sex was a sin, and God didn’t like sinners (you’ll burn for all eternity). Purity culture is heavily imbibed by Nigerians from an early age with conservative parents, guardians and teachers reinforcing it through sermons and school assemblies. Secondary school was only slightly different. A single 10-minute chapter in social studies class was dedicated to sex education, and the advice was typical — abstain. But for those daring to venture into what was deemed a “sordid act,” precautions were prescribed: ensure the use of condoms, consider an IUD or use the pill. The entire 10-minute lecture perpetuated the notion of women being the focal point of contraceptive responsibility. The widespread and rapid adoption of the pill, alongside the subsequent prioritization of research on contraceptive methods for women, helped lead this paradigm shift. But my secondary school wasn’t the origin of this bias. Companies have been profiting off of perpetuating this notion for decades. In her 2012 paper for AMA Journal of Ethics, Lisa Cam- — 50-something whole years more accepting of women po-Engelstein explains the after the commencement of enduring these side effects contraceptive industry recog- research on modern contra- until men have safer options. nized a lucrative opportun- ceptives for women — that While certain side effects may ity (and achieved $250 million scientists began exploring have been deemed acceptin earnings just in 1938) and new types of contraceptives able in the past when weighed against the risk of pregnancy, initiated a campaign promot- intended for men. ing the use of their contracepThe majority of contem- it’s been over 70 years since tive products for women. porary birth control options the introduction of the pill — Linking women with the are designed for people with what justification is there for responsibility for contracep- uteruses, leaving folks with not having developed a safer alternative by tion and alignnow? ing contracepContraceptive injustice lacks There’s also tion with priany sort of logical coherence this assumpvate compantion that ies were effective marketing strategies, lay- penises with typically two everyone who uses the pill is ing the groundwork for the choices — condoms or vasec- in a heteronormative relationpill’s success. Its swift rise in tomies. This glaring dispar- ship or at risk of pregnancy, popularity reinforced the per- ity between the number of overlooking those who rely on ception of women as primary contraceptives designed for it for other health reasons like consumers of contraceptives. women and men presents sev- endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome. This association of contra- eral issues. Contraceptive injusception with women resulted When a male contraceptive in researchers predominantly pill eventually hits the mar- tice lacks any sort of logical fitting seamconcentrating on methods for ket, it’s expected to be safer coherence, women. than the current pill for people lessly into patriarchal ideals. According to Campo-Engel- with uteruses. However, I The absence of contracepstein, it wasn’t until the 1970s detest the idea that we seem tive choices for men primar-

ily reflects entrenched gender norms that perpetuate the idea of women as the primary caregivers, rather than being solely based on scientific evidence. The responsibility and side-effects are left to people with uteruses to deal with. From mood swings, anxiety and depression, to skin changes and heavier periods, the many, many risks are now supposedly miniscule unless cis men deal with them. Some women have experienced strokes and blood clots, but this seems, to many, like a comparatively small injustice. Men’s silence is a huge part of the reason it’s easy to overlook the imbalance. A paper by Pacific University researchers term this focus on contraceptives for women as “strategic silence.” It allows men to reinforce prevailing notions of hegemonic masculinity that priori-

tize men’s sexual desires and subtly shift the burden of contraceptive and sexual health responsibility onto women, thereby safeguarding these constructs of masculinity. As women continue to bear the weight of contraceptive responsibility, facing the numerous side effects and challenges associated with it, the need for change becomes increasingly apparent. However, true progress can only be achieved through heightened awareness and understanding of contraception, particularly regarding the nuanced realities of contraceptive methods for people with uteruses. Without this crucial shift in perception and discourse, the existing imbalance will persist, perpetuating more inequalities in reproductive health decision-making.

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Comment

Vol. 110, No. 22 comment@themanitoban.com

A life spent together is better Life is brighter when you have someone to share it with Braden Bristow, staff

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

ife is difficult, it is for most people, but I have always struggled to stay positive and I am seldom content. Yet, when I sit next to Tyler, my long-term boyfriend, I find peace in abundance. Life is far from perfect, and I still have my daily trials, but having someone to share that with makes everything easier. Before I met Tyler, I took myself pretty seriously. People who know me find that hard to believe. The world often felt oppressive or lonely and I readily accepted that. Even though my friends and family were important to me, I had a quiet sense of pride in my frequent solitude. This began to change in earnest when I messaged Tyler in an intro to French Zoom call of all places. From the moment I met him, there was an infectious positivity and wonder that began to conquer my deviously rotten black heart. Of course,

I fell in love with Tyler, Three years feels like a long this transition from doom to gloom was an ongoing process time, but those years have and he helped me fall in love that I fought with for a while. flown by. It is hard to imag- with life all over again. I have My openness to making new ine a time when Tyler wasn’t always had moments of joy connections enabled Tyler to a part of my life. In the time and I still work personally on that we’ve known each other, keeping a positive mindset, come into my life. While our first date was we have shared so much of our but Tyler makes it much easier. Being able to share my pretty typical for Winni- lives. Even sharing video games victories makes my victories peg. We had a light lunch followed by an hour of wander- and movies from my child- worthwhile. Having someing around the Forks. Our hood with Tyler, I have the one to share my failures with second date is where my sense same sense of wonder I did makes those failures easier to bear. of humour and Of course, his joyousI fell in love with Tyler and he helped me I still have ness started to fall in love with life all over again my ups and come through. downs, when We saw one of the worst movies I have ever when I was eight. We played it comes to any relationship seen, Space Jam: A New Leg- the absurdly convoluted King- you have to be careful not to acy, but I hadn’t had that dom Hearts series together become codependent. A critmuch fun in months. and he listened attentively ical part of having a partner If I had seen that movie on while I explained the meta- is knowing the line between my own or with anyone but physical concept of dark- co-operation and codepenTyler, I would have loathed ness and Donald Duck shot dence. It wouldn’t be fair to it. His presence in the the- flames at little monsters. On Tyler or my long-term health atre made a soulless sequel the other hand, Tyler showed if I offloaded every little probabsurdly enjoyable. We me the entirety of the Twi- lem I have and couldn’t find started dating in the summer light movie series, something joy without him being around. Honestly, it is hard to imagof 2021, so as of now, we have I never would have imagined been together just under three enjoying, but with him it was ine life without him. The time we have spent together has years. beautiful cinema.

been the best part of my life. I don’t know if Tyler and I will still be together a decade from now, but I wouldn’t trade the time we’ve had for the world. Having a person to share my life with is one of the greatest gifts I could ask for. A mundane trip to the store is something I cherish, as it is more time to spend with the most important person in my life. Adventure becomes a daily occurrence if the person next to you helps instill a sense of joy and wonder. While I am talking about a romantic relationship, the friendship we share is critical to our bond. Tyler is my best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Keep an open mind and allow people into your life, casual conversation could turn into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

Vol. 110, No. 22 comment@themanitoban.com

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Love is great, but not if you exclude single people for it It’s time to break up with the primacy of romantic love Jessie Krahn, staff pour love into all of my relationships. But as I’ve written before, I don’t think love is divorced from society’s ills. After years — plural — of being single, I’ve learned firsthand the painful inattention to single people’s plight from a world that almost exclusively valourizes romantic love. Being single amid incessant anniversaries, engagement photo dumps and Valentine’s Day gushing is a bit like being asked to stand outside someone’s window and peer dolefully through it while someone opens an infinite stream of birthday presents. At what point are you invited inside to celebrate and be celebrated? Sociologists Natalia Sarkisian and Naomi Gerstel found that single people are generally more involved in their communities than their married peers, socializing with their families, friends and neighbours more often. According to Bella DePaulo, single people even volunteer more often in all sectors of society – except in religious organizations. Married couples have us beat there. Gerstel argues marriage specifically undermines other relationships and community connections because couples prioritize each other to the exclusion of other members of their social networks. Like oil and water, single people are more likely to give parts of themselves to their communities while their counterparts in relationships recede into their bubbles. These behaviours don’t mix, and yet for single people, what’s to be done besides cutting out all people in relationships? There’s an argument to be made that single people face discrimination around the world. In India, single parents face similar bans on accessing surrogate parents as queer and trans couples. In the U.S., single people pay more in taxes than married couples, while in Canada married couples can file for special tax benefits. The Brussels Times reported just last month that “single people in Belgium are among the most heavily taxed in the industrialized world.” We are punished for being single. Restrictions like the one in India hint too that the stigma around singleness is a symptom of a queerphobic aversion to couples or social paradigms that don’t lead to producing children. If we gravitate to these couple formations, it seems that there’s at least some evidence to suggest it’s a heteronormative

graphic / Michele Melendez /volounteer staff

impulse, not one borne purely out of true love. But the rub is the way single people are treated in our non-romantic relationships after we’ve been taxed to high heaven. I’ve told friends about a restaurant I like, started watching a show with them or suggested that we take a trip together, only for those friends to say almost absent-mindedly the next time we meet that they went ahead and did those things or planned those activities with their partners after our time together. It feels like being mined for fuel for other romantic relationships while your friendship — which you value as much as anything when you’re single — is left to sputter out on fumes. Never mind the times when your friends disclose all of your secrets to their partners or invite their partner to tag along when you’ve planned quality time together — people in relationships don’t respect single people. For good reason, we should never accept if a romantic partner blows us off this way. Why should it be any different in platonic relationships? We’re not in a place collectively where we’re ready to talk about that. I’ve spoken with people in relationships

who scoff that another friend expressed hurt or frustration to them that they were spending increasingly more time with their partner at the cost of time with the friend. The onus is always on single people to be understanding and make room for their coupled friend’s romance in their lives. Actually, the only people who seem to be talking about singleness in general are incels, and as I’ve written in the past, their formulations about love and sex are neither accurate nor helpful. Even if single people find other single friends who are willing to prioritize them, singleness is viewed as a temporary state rather than something we commit to. Your single friends could drop out of your ecosystem the moment they find a romantic partner, demoting you in their rota and leaving you scrambling to fill the void they left. People in relationships get defensive when I describe my experiences, either accusing me of bitterness or unfairness for suggesting platonic love deserves the same import as romantic love. At face, these responses promote the idea that one form of love is more important than the other, which isn’t true.

The truth is, it’s fair to feel hurt and let down when even your closest friends have shown you there are time when they’re not willing to consider even small plans for the future with you if it impinges on anything from a cute date night to a vacation in Tokyo with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Because it’s easier to imagine changing single people than changing the way we approach love, people have jumped to reassure me when I’ve talked about this, “you’ll find someone!” But finding romantic love isn’t a sure thing, so that offers about as much comfort as a clairvoyant animatronic at a carnival. Then they rally, “well, you can still be happy!” which is entirely un-empathetic. What single people need is an acknowledgement that things are harder without another person who has pledged to put you first, not a reminder that our lives aren’t dull, dispirited grey worlds. Advice like this is at its worst when it turns into criticism of the single person, “Focus on self-improvement, and you’ll find love when you least expect it!” And that is a cruel thing to say. Philosopher Erich Fromm points out that the notion

that love is conferred upon those who have earned it, who deserve it, implies that “one is loved only because one pleases.” People giving advice about how to find love might not realize it, but they’re effectively saying you’re not worthy of love as you are. You mustn’t expect it so hard, and you mustn’t be as flawed as you are, that’s what’s keeping you alone. Ultimately, offering advice is a convenient way for people in relationships to absolve themselves of any responsibility toward other human beings who fill their lives and communities with love. We can’t all be in happy romantic relationships. Some of us will fall through the cracks. But a diversity of loving arrangements ought to be a good thing, or at least a matter of course. Humanity can’t possibly organize its entirety into blissful little romantic dyads. Loving friendship is more than supportive phone calls and catching up over coffee. It’s planning your life so that, when your single friends think about the decades ahead, they don’t have to imagine themselves facing the future alone.

February 14, 2024 comment@themanitoban.com

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Notting Hill can spread love straight from the heart

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

Famed romcom shows love of all kinds blooms from happenstance meeting

Lakshmisree Shaji, staff

ove has never been a complicated idea for me. I grew up watching my parents fall in love every day. I watched them sing old Bollywood songs together on long drives — they did pretty much everything together. They showed me it is okay to have disagreements. After all, you will learn to resolve conflict and learn from your mistakes because you ultimately love and respect each other. All four of my grandparents ran bookstores at various points in their lives. My grandmom, who was a single mother since my mom was in grade 10, ran a bookstore in one part of the state that sold all kinds of books and school supplies. My dad’s parents

had a bookstore in another part of the state after their retirement. I dream of owning a cute little place that’s a bookstore, a cafe, a pottery store and art store, and — my boyfriend’s idea — a meet-and-eat place for people interested in cars and motorcycles. Maybe all of these factors that first attracted me to Roger Mitchell’s Notting Hill. Or it could be the bi-panic I felt when I saw Julia Roberts’s Anna and Hugh Grant’s William on the screen together. It could also be because my dad is obsessed with the movie and watches it every chance he gets. Notting Hill, to me, offered a cheerful assortment of different versions of love, all of

which were beautiful. There are plot holes and sloppy writing in parts of the movie, but there is something that makes this movie feel like a song in three-four time signature. And the answer, I think, lies in happenstance. Maybe that is why my dad loves this movie so much. Happenstance is possibly at the core of romantic comedies. It might sound ridiculous that Anna, a high-profile actor, runs into William, a random bookstore owner twice, and they fall in love. But I have a more ridiculous example — if my boyfriend of almost seven years hadn’t decided that he liked the uniform of my school better and changed schools to be able to wear that, we would

not have met. Sure, it doesn’t sound as fancy as William and Anna’s story, but the chances we take and choices we make end up deciding our future in ways we would never have imagined, and I think that is beautiful. Adding to this philosophy of love is the charming 90s-ness of the movie. It is okay if William says “shittitty brickitty” or “whoopsidasies” because he is Hugh Grant. I cry every time I watch Anna say the line, “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy,” because that’s Julia Roberts. There is another argument to be made for companionships and relationships that are not romantic. I have been fortunate to have so many amazing friends, but I would

like to extend my circle to a warm and lovely bunch like William has. Honey, William’s sister, Max and Bella, the lovely couple, Tony, the chef, Bernie, the stock marketer and Spike, the roommate — all of them, in their own way, give so much meaning to William’s life. I would kill to have Hugh Grant’s hair or Anna’s wardrobe. I would also like to be as forgiving and compassionate as William. It is snowing on the prairies as I write this. February is feeling cold again, as it should. As we cozy up in bookstores this winter, I hope love fills everyone’s life.

Vol. 110, No. 22 comment@themanitoban.com

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To hell with state suppression, embrace lesbian leather STR8TS Do what you love with who you love and reject respectability

Simon Pensato, staff

3 3

6 3 7 2 I’m no longer letting “decency” 5 7 2 get in the way of love 3 5 4 3 7 1 5

How to beat Str8ts – Like Sudoku, no single number 1 to 9 can repeat in an or column. But... rows and columns are divided by black squares into compartments. 2 1 Each compartment must form a straight 6 a set of numbers with no gaps but it can be 4 in any order, eg [7,6,9,8]. Clues in black cells 4 3 remove that number as an option in that row and column, and are not part of any straight. 3 5 Glance at the solution to see how ‘straights’ 2 are formed.

graphic / Dallin Chicoine / staff

s a kid, I had a fraught relationship with Victoria’s Secret window displays, an experience shared by many current and former queer women. Obviously, the displays were meant to be looked at and the models were intended to be attractive, but even at a young age I knew that people like me were not supposed to want to look at those images. Although I was a scrawny and somewhat timid seven-year-old, I thought I was dangerous for thinking girls were cute. Kids aren’t born feeling like who they have or don’t have crushes on make them freaks, and lesbians are not intrinsically doomed to pine longingly after the subjects of our desires. We learn these fears and inhibitions from family, school and the media — all of which are shaped by the state. Canada, formally known as the Dominion of Canada, is a British settler colonial project, meaning that our laws and constitution are heavily informed by British law. Homosexuality has been heavily stigmatized or forbidden in some religious traditions, but in the 1530s under the reign of Henry VIII, king of England and founder of the Church of England, “buggery” — or anal intercourse, usually practiced between men — was made illegal and punishable by death under the British criminal code. This prohibition was carried over to Canada with the Criminal Code of 1892, which also criminalized any form of homosexual physical affection from doing the polka to pecking your boyfriend on the cheek, in public or private. Lesbians were included under this law in 1953. Finally, women were punished just as much as men for being queer — that’s progress. Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau started the formal process of decriminalization in the late 1960s, famously saying “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.” This sentiment carried into the amended 1969 Criminal Code where queer people were allowed to have some gay sex under some circumstances and were still prohibited from being affectionate in public. Homosexual acts have been gradually decriminalized. We can get married and hold hands in public now, but these legal shifts have been accompanied by caveats and continued repression. For instance, in 2000, at a time when homosexuality was

Med

much less strictly criminalized, police raided The Pussy Palace, a women’s and trans folks’ bathhouse in Toronto, during its second anniversary sex party, sparking mass protests. Queer people have often been falsely portrayed as predatory and dangerous. Anti-queer activists have, for decades, made variations on the claim “homosexuals cannot reproduce, so they must recruit,” implying that queer people make children gay, and that queer kids shouldn’t exist. That queer people are constantly encouraged — and often forced — to keep our sexualities contained for fear of offending common decency or encouraging others to try it out, is infuriating. Coming to terms with my queerness has entailed a lot of unlearning the anti-queer nonsense that I have been

immersed in since childhood, and coming to understand how the state has controlled undesirable sexuality. It’s been a difficult task, and I didn’t make it any easier on myself when I decided to trans my gender and explore being a leatherdyke at the height of an anti-trans moral panic. Leather culture is a subset of BDSM, which stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. It’s a broad subculture with many sub-variants. According to recent studies in Norway and the U.S., many people incorporate elements of BDSM in their sex lives. 34 per cent of Norwegians surveyed engaged in BDSM practices in general. In the U.S. study, 30 per cent of respondents engaged in spanking, out of a range of taboo activities. It turns out that even though BDSM is taboo, it’s

quite popular. People have all kinds of complicated relationships with authority, pain and restriction that are interesting and fun to explore. However, much like queer sex historically, many forms of S/M are currently illegal in Canada, on the grounds that a person cannot consent to bodily harm. Other forms of recreational pain-infliction and reception, like hockey or getting your belly button pierced, are legal because they have been determined to have social or cultural value. This distinction is absurd and rooted in sexual puritanism. The government has no place in determining what consenting partners do together. Last week, I wrote about how it is important to be honest and clear about what you want and don’t want. It’s necessary to embrace the uncomfortable to bring about change.

For me, this is intimately connected to leather — when the sharps are out, you need to be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. Embracing leather has been an incredibly important part of exploring gender and sexuality. After years of repressing desires that I have been told were abject, like being trans and loving women, I’ve relaxed into myself. It has been comforting to know that there are others who have desires like mine, and empowering to learn that the state has tried so hard to suppress my communities and continuously failed to do so. This Valentine’s Day let’s participate in the time-honoured tradition of being gay and doing crime. I’m no longer letting “decency” get in the way of love.

Diversions

February 14, 2024 graphics@themanitoban.com

Str8ts Solution

5 3 4 6 2 7 8 9

7 6 8 7

1 6 4 5 2 3

5 4 2 3

7 1 8 6 5 4 2 3 9

3 9 4 8 7 2 5 6 1

6 5 2 1 3 9 8 4 7

8 2 9 7 1 6 3 5 4

1 7 3 4 2 5 9 8 6

4 6 5 9 8 3 7 1 2

9 8 7 5 6 1 4 2 3

5 3 6 2 4 7 1 9 8

2 4 1 3 9 8 6 7 5

Sudoku Solution

9 4 3 4 5 6 8 7 7 9 8 8 7 9 3 6 5 3 4 5

6 8 7 7 9 8 7 6 3 2 4 1 3 6 5 5 4 1 4 2 2 3 1

Sudoku Solution

2024 Alance AB

xkcd.com

2 3

How to beat Str8ts – To complete Sudoku, fill the board by entering Like Sudoku, no single number 1 to 9 can repeat in any row numbers 1 to 9 such that column and 3x3maze 15each by row, 40 orthogonal Provided by: Teegan Gillich or column. But... rows and columns are box contains every number uniquely. divided by black squares into compartments. 2 1 4 5 Each compartment must form a straight For many strategies, hints and tips, 6 4 5 3 2 For many strategies, hints and tips, a set of numbers with no gaps but it can be visit www.sudokuwiki.org for Sudoku visit www.sudokuwiki.org for Sudoku 4 5 2 1 in any order, eg [7,6,9,8]. Clues in black cells and www.str8ts.com for Str8ts. and www.str8ts.com for Str8ts. 4 3 6 2 1 5 remove that number as an option in that row and column, and are not part of any straight. If you like Str8ts and other puzzles, check out our 3 5 2 1 4 If you like Str8ts and other puzzles, check out our books, iPhone/iPad Apps and much more on our store. books, iPhone/iPad Apps and much more on our store. Glance at the solution to see how ‘straights’ 2 1 3 are formed.

To complete Sudoku, fill the board by entering numbers 1 to 9 such that each row, column and 3x3 box contains every number uniquely.

5 4

2 4 1 3 9 8 6 7 5

by entering numbers 1 to 9 such Medium that each row, column, and 3x3 box contains every 6 number 4uniquely. In Straights, like Sudoku, no 1 number 5 21 to 9 can 6 repeat single in 8 any row or column. 3 But rows and columns are divided by black Straights Solution 6 8 into compartments. squares Each compartment must form 7 8 a set of4 9 a5“straight.” A1 straight is numbers with no gaps but it can7 8 be in any order, eg [7,6,9,8]. Clues 9that number 6 in black cells remove as an option in that row and 5 not part 1 of2any 7 column, and are straight. Glance 4at the solution 3 to see how “straights” are formed.

1 6 4 5 2 3

5 3 6 2 4 7 1 9 8

4 9 7 8 9 6 5 1 2 7 4 3

6 3 7 2 5 7 2 3 5 4 3 7 1 5

9 8 7 5 6 1 4 2 3

4 6 5 9 8 3 7 1 2

1 7 3 4 2 5 9 8 6

4 5 5 3 2 2 1 2 1 5 1 4 3

8 2 9 7 1 6 3 5 4

4 5 6 2 1

6 5 2 1 3 9 8 4 7

ny row

4 6

3 9 4 8 7 2 5 6 1

1 8 6 8 5 7

6 5 2

Medium

Sudoku Solution 7 1 8 6 5 4 2 3 9

Medium

SUDOKU To complete Sudoku, fill the board

Puzzle by Syndicated Puzzles

7 6 8 7

dium

STR8TS

Straights

Puzzle by Syndicated Puzzles

5 3 4 6 2 7 8 9

SUDOKU

Sudoku

Vol. 110, No.22 graphics@themanitoban.com

Vol. 110, No. 22 graphics@themanitoban.com

Diversions

Missed connections From would-be friends to cuties in line, let us help you find the connections you crave!

graphic / Dallin Chicoine / staff

From cuties in line-ups to heroes at Tim Hortons to friendships that were never fully cemented, the connections that we miss can stick with us just as long as the ones we nail down. But have no fear, let the Manitoban help you find love! We collected stories like this from past and present U of M students through the r/ umanitoba subreddit. Check out the missed connections below to see if someone can’t get you out of their heads after a chance encounter.

Four decades ago in Dafoe Library The girl who approached me outside the Dafoe library one afternoon. She was upset. I calmed her down. Super pretty girl. Why didn’t I get her number?? That was in 1986 by the way.

A cutie at Tims in Fletcher Argue Sometime last year like November, I went to get coffee at the Tim Hortons close to the Tier building and forgot to unlock my credit card, thankfully this really nice guy paid for me and I thanked him but did not have time to even say any other thing ‘cause I had to get to my class on time. So sad, he was cute too!

Seeking cute blonde man, fit like a glove To the guy with dirty blonde hair, maybe around 5’7, who tapped my shoulder last week to ask if we needed gloves while we were in line to buy the physiology 1412 lab

manual: I thought you were cute! You ran away to grab the gloves before I could say anything more, though, and I was a bit disoriented because I was busy jamming to the Strokes at max volume.

Me plus you equals friends after math class too Like I got a ton of these but this time it’s actually a friend. So I took MATH 1300 last term and on the first day of class, I actually had a great conversation with the girl I sat beside. We sat beside each other the whole term but ended up only exchanging a few words now and then, never passing the class stage. It was so sad.

Workout buddy, or something more? To the girl who allowed me to share the chest fly machine in the Active Living Centre with you yesterday evening (Feb. 7), I wanted to start a conversation and perhaps ask you out on a date with me but I could not even speak to you because I didn’t get any positive interest from you. If you see this message, perhaps we may meet once again and finally ask you out. At least, please give me an impression so that I can approach you. For inquiries about these missed connections, contact social@themanitoban.com.

Arts & Culture

February 14, 2024 arts@themanitoban.com

Pottery painting, crepe cakes and goodies, oh my! Valentine’s Day event with ICC was a treat

he Valentine’s Day Pottery Painting and Crepe Cakes event hosted by the International Students’ Community Center (ICC) in partnership with the Arts Student Body Council (ASBC) was off to a slow start, likely due to the weather changes affecting traffic. However, that didn’t stop students from jam-packing the event. The event hosted around 80 people, all there to paint statuettes and indulge in crepe cakes. The idea behind the event came from ICC treasurer My Duong’s experience in Vietnam. Duong said that pottery painting was a popular activity back in Vietnam, and so she wanted to bring a piece of that to the university as a fun way to bring people together, couples and singles alike. The event’s setup was festive, with red and white gingham vinyl tablecloths spread over the tables. Cute little

paint pots and paint palettes and adorable statuettes peppered the room — with notable characters such as Hello Kitty and Winnie the Pooh for participants to paint and take home. The ICC also hosted different local businesses at the event, such as Unique Bunny, which had goodie bags filled with things from the store that they were giving away to anyone at the event who followed them on Instagram. Duong also tabled at the event, selling crochet bouquets, hair clips and stickers. A hopping night, the hosts even played a game of Kahoot! to find the winner for a giveaway, the prize being a crochet bouquet made by Duong’s partner. The night would not be complete without some treats, however, of which the ICC ensured there would be. For Us Bakery provided and served matcha and vanilla-flavoured crepe cakes at the event to satisfy hungry par-

ticipants’ sweet teeth. Elinam Okae-Yeboah, internals executive for the ICC, said she was surprised by the number of people that signed up for the event. “We actually didn’t expect it to be this many people,” she said. “I saw in the first hour so many people had signed up and I [thought] we might have to close the forms because there might not be enough space and we don’t have enough figurines, but then My was able to provide extra.” The group’s last event, a job information session, saw the most attendees their programming has ever had, with 30 to 40 people attending. So many people were interested that the organizers had to change the event location, moving from the Arts Lounge in Fletcher Argue Building to a room in the Engineering & Information Technology Complex to accommodate the large number of people. “It’s nice to see that many

photo / Ebunoluwa Akinbo / staff

Kelsey Chin, staff

international students, or many students in general, are interested,” Okae-Yeboah said. “It was surprising.”

Overall the Valentine’s event was a great turnout for the ICC.

Building a love of reading one shelf at a time ASBC launches a community bookshelf initiative Alison Holliday, staff To celebrate “I Love to Read Month” with arts students, ASBC has set up a new community library bookshelf in the Arts Lounge, located on the second floor of the Fletcher Argue building. The Arts Student Body Council (ASBC) is launching a new initiative to bring more community to the Arts Lounge. Bianca Siem, director of arts services with ASBC, and Daniel Hwang, associate racialized representative with ASBC, were both inspired by the public community Little Free Libraries (LFLs) they saw in their childhoods. LFLs are tiny swap spots set up across the city where people can take and return books for free. Hwang told the Manitoban that he feels a similar concept in the student lounge would be “great.” Hwang encourages students from various departments to view it as “a form of cultural exchange through a bookshelf,” adding that students have plenty of books they need to get rid of and that this is a great way to do so. Students will be expected to follow the same honour

system from the LFL with the bookshelf — anyone will be able to take or leave books as they please. Siem said that sometimes the Arts Lounge can feel like it is missing something. With such a diverse spectrum of subjects ranging from English to politics, she said she wanted to bring something to the student lounge to have students connect with each other. Hwang’s suggestion to bring a LFL to the Lounge really “resonated” with Siem, who also has nostalgic memories of a little library of her own. “I grew up in a small neighbourhood as well, and you always see those book boxes when you go for walks,” she said. “It really makes the community cute and familyfriendly, and I think that’s something the Arts Lounge is missing.” Siem hopes the bookshelf can be something people browse through at their leisure or potentially pick up a book that is required reading for free, rather than buying it at the UM Bookstore. ASBC executive members

Biana Siem (left) and Daniel Hwang (right) posing with their favourite books. photo / Ebunoluwa Akinbo / staff

set the shelf up and provided an initial float of books to start with, which they had purchased from one of the used book sale events in the tunnels of Fletcher Argue during the school year. In the spirit of students connecting over books, Hwang said that it can be hard to read books outside of school. His favourite book is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

— of which he owns six copies. Siem said her current favourite book is Meet Me at The Lake by Carley Fortune as a novel that is great for summer reading. For students considering what to bring to the shelf, Siem said with the variety of students in the lounge, she anticipates that books given to the bookshelf could range

from classic reads, such as the works of Fitzgerald to “BookTok” novels. The bookshelf is located inside the ASBC executive offices. However, students can request access during school hours. Donors can bring their books either to Siem’s office in 206 Fletcher Argue or another ASBC executive’s office.

Vol. 110, No. 22 arts@themanitoban.com

Arts & Culture

Basement Mixtapes for Bisons: Valentines Day Edition For the yearners and the lovers

’ve always been a yearner. I’ve yearned for a well-paying job, a stable income, an extra in a baker’s dozen box of goodies — but primarily I’ve always yearned for human connection. For most of my youth and for a good chunk of my early twenties I was single, this wasn’t something I was ashamed of or particularly bothered by. I had a desire to fall in love, sure. My heart was always beating over several secret affections and crushes that I kept to myself, but they were desires that either faded over time or that I was too afraid to act on. The feeling of someone having such an effect on you though — it’s that experience that I lived off of for a really long time, happily. Writing secret love letters to your paramour, making playlists they’ll never see or soak-

ing up every little encounter you had — the intimacy of being alone but being in love and having been changed by it is magical. Loving like this was a way to not only understand them better, but myself as well. Of course, things inevitably changed. Eventually I swallowed my fear, and my current partner now receives all my not-so-secret love letters and tokens of affection. But it took time, which is simultaneously important and unimportant. Love, romance, dating — every person on this planet is able to love and be loved in return, it’s just a matter of time, so why rush? For this playlist, I wanted to celebrate other yearners out there. I wanted to make something for the ones who celebrate Valentine’s Day alone, keeping secret love letters in a box tucked away, and for the lovers who take their time.

Here, we have fourteen tracks of the indie and indie-adjacent variety. Several of these songs were introduced to me by my partner or come from early playlists I made for my partner. Others are pulled from a time when I was still a fulltime romance dreamer. So enjoy and remember: “True Love Will Find You in The End.” Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing but You) — Bombay Bicycle Club, Everything Else Has Gone Wrong So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings — Caroline Polachek, Pang Shut Up Kiss Me — Angel Olsen, MY WOMAN Real Love Baby — Father John Misty, Real Love Baby Fade Into You — Mazzy Star, So Tonight That I Might See Just Like Heaven — The Cure, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me,

graphic / Teegan Gillich / staff

Jacob Davis, staff

Luna — 2011 Remaster — The Smashing Pumpkins, Siamese Dream (Deluxe Edition) Crush — Ethel Cain, Inbred VCR — The xx, xx I Would Do Anything For You — Foster The People, Torches Anyone Else But You — The Moldy Peaches, The

Moldy Peaches Sea of Love — Cat Power, The Covers Record Make Out in My Car (Sufjan Stevens Version) — Moses Sumney and Sufjan Stevens, Make Out in My Car: Chameleon Suite True Love Will Find You in The End — Daniel Johnston, Retired Boxer

The ‘Toban staff’s romantic Valentine’s Day movie picks Before Sunrise (1995) Before Sunrise, the first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy, follows Jesse and Céline, two 20-somethings, as they start to chat on a train in Europe. The film is in large part just documenting their conversations. There’s very little plot to speak of and yet, what unfolds between these two as they get to know each other is a hypnotic, textured and tender budding romance that is, above all, so human. Romcoms tend to over-indulge in depictions of love that aren’t really complicated. Maybe some external pressure threatens to form a rift between two lovers, but once this single roadblock is smoothed out, the happy couple skip off into their happily ever after. Romcoms rarely capture the fundamental flaws in people that can make sustaining a loving relationship so difficult. But Sunrise’s view of love is clear-eyed, showing just as many of Jesse and Céline’s faults as their charms. What we find is less a celebration of perfect love and more a loving view of human interaction and connection, warts and all. Before Sunrise won’t make you feel lonely for being alone

and it will teach you there’s powerful poetry in day-to-day life. —Jessie Krahn, comment editor

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) If you’re looking for a bizarre and beautiful exploration of love, look no further than Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s Everything Everywhere All at Once. The film proposes love as something bizarre, overwhelming and essential. A little different from your usual Valentine’s flick, in the film Evelyn, portrayed by Michelle Yeoh, learns to connect her consciousness into alternate versions of herself living different lives in an attempt to aid in a battle against a chaotic entity known as Jobu Tupaki, portrayed by Stephanie Hsu. During this mind melding, universe hopping, sci-fi experience the characters find themselves searching for a meaning to life: they discover love. Ke Huy Quan’s character Waymond, Evelyn’s husband, acts as the heart of the film, contributing iconic quotes to the film such as, “When I choose to see the good side of things I am not being naive. It is strategic and necessary.”

Everything Everywhere All at Once proposes that sometimes the meaning of life is to find the people you would choose to be with despite all the other places in the universe you go. Sometimes love is doing your laundry and taxes. —Alison Holliday, arts reporter

The Perfect Match (2016) The Perfect Match directed by Bille Woodruff, is a timeless choice for those intrigued by the dynamics of romance. Starring Terrence Jenkins as Charlie, a self-professed playboy resistant to long-term commitments, the film takes an unexpected turn when he encounters the enchanting and enigmatic Eva, portrayed by Cassie Ventura. Behind the facade of a carefree playboy, the plot takes a poignant turn when Charlie, initially resistant to commitment, discovers that he has fallen in love with Eva, however she is something of a “playboy” herself. This revelation adds a profound layer of depth to the narrative, exploring themes of honesty, communication, and diverse perspectives on relationships. As the story unfolds, the audience is invited to think

graphic / Dallin Chicoine / staff

Films romantic, thoughtful and blue for Valentine’s Day

about the subtleties of love and the transformative power of unexpected connections. The Perfect Match promises an engaging and entertaining experience. So, why not embrace the spirit of the season and treat yourself to a cinematic exploration of love’s many dimensions. Grab your popcorn, settle in and let this film be your companion this Valentine’s Day. —Ebunoluwa Akinbo, photo editor

Avatar (2009) Arguably famous deepsea explorer and film director James Cameron blessed us with the bluest love story ever told. In 2009, the moviegoing public was given the gift of Avatar. The love story is between the colonizer Jake

Sully in his titular avatar and Neytiri, an Indigenous Na’vi woman. Despite initially being tasked with spying on the Na’vi so Jake could aid in genocide, our hero comes to really like being a blue alien. Jake Sully spends an extended period with the Na’vi he was tasked to help exploit, and learns their language and ways while falling in love with their profound alien culture which is not at all based on Indigenous cultures. Jake also falls in love with Neytiri, and their love is consummated by playing with each other’s hair. Avatar’s bizarre hair sex is kind of gross, but who can deny the moving love story of a soldier and the lady who saves him from big panther-like monsters. —Braden Bristow, columnist

Sports

February 14, 2024 sports@themanitoban.com

Bison women move on to the CanWest playoffs Women’s team maintains its playoff spot while men end the season on a low note Quinn Mayhew, staff

oth the Bisons women’s and men’s hockey teams played against the University of Saskatchewan (U of S) Huskies this past weekend in a two-game series.

Women’s team

on the power play. The shorthanded blunder gave the U of S a 3-2 lead. It stood as the only goal of the second. Kara Kondrat of Saskatchewan then added to the Huskies’ lead, scoring on a powerplay goal in the third to give the Huskies a 4-2 lead. Jena Barscello of the Bisons answered back, however, scoring on a close-range shot, making the score 4-3. Ultimately, the Bisons’ comeback fell short in the third, as the Huskies added one more goal, making it 5-3. This season, senior Gregoire led the herd in scoring with six goals, 12 assists and 18 points. The Bisons finished the season with a record of 10 wins and 18 losses. Despite these two losses to close the year, the Bisons still clinched the final CanWest playoff spot. As the sixth seed, the Bisons will face off against third-ranked Mount Royal University (MRU) Cougars in the first round of the CanWest playoffs this upcoming weekend.

photos / Matthew Merkel / staff

The University of Manitoba women’s hockey team played hard against the Huskies this past weekend, but still struggled. In the first period of Friday’s game, the U of M and the U of S looked evenly matched. Nonetheless, despite the even draw, the Huskies’ defensive performance really shone through. The first period concluded with the scoreboard reading 0-0 for both the Huskies and Bisons. Just under five minutes into the second period, the Bisons capitalized on an offensive chance via some smooth skating, which allowed Kate Gregoire to slip a goal past the Huskies’ netminder, breaking the deadlock. It stood as the only goal of the second, allowing the herd Men’s team to pull away from the Huskies The first game was a hard 1-0. However, the Huskies really one for the herd right from the shifted it into high gear in beginning. The Huskies scored the first the third, scoring three goals consecutively, including an two goals of the game, showcasing the team’s offensive empty netter. Ultimately, the herd lost strength. The herd, however, the first game 3-1 to the U of S because of its poor play in answered back very late in the the back half, as it allowed first — indeed, just one second the Huskies to score three from the end of the period — as Jackson Arpin managed to unanswered goals. The second game kicked off net one on a breakaway. Thus, the first period conwith Seniors Night. The herd honoured a number of play- cluded with a 2-1 scoreline in ers, including forwards Sam- favour of the Huskies. The second period was a antha Sichkaruk, Gregoire, Molly Kunnas and Sarah bloodbath for the U of M, as Dennehy, defenceman Kai- the Huskies scored four times. tlyn Chatyrbok, and goalie The Bisons struggled offensively and defensively, but Meagan Relf. The first period started off especially defensively. The Bisons did manage with a Gregoire power-play goal. She slid the puck in with to score once in the second, barely any time left on the though. Jonny Hooker scored unassisted for the herd’s Bisons’ power play. Dana Goertzen scored the second goal of the game. Nonetheless, the second The first period of the second goal of the game on second game a breakaway, got off to a giving the The Bisons will face off against rough start Bisons a 2-0 the third ranked University of Mount Royal for the herd, lead. as the HuskThe herd’s Cougars in the first round of ies got the first early scoring the Canada West playoffs two goals of did not disthe game. courage the The first period ended Huskies, however, who also ended 6-2 with U of S leading. Ultimately, the third per- with the Huskies leading the scored twice in the first, leveliod was no better for the U of Bisons 2-0. ling the score 2-2. In the second period, it In the second period, M, as it scored zero goals but the Huskies capitalized on allowed the Huskies to score seemed as if a comeback might be in the cards for the an unguarded puck when two more times. The final score was a grisly herd, as Josh Paulhus scored goalie Megan Relf left it to be the first goal of the game off scooped up by a teammate 8-2 in favour of the Huskies.

assists from Ryan Gottfried and Evan Toth. The Huskies also scored once in the second, but its goal was quickly answered back by Josh Paulhus again, who hammered in a goal to make the score at the end of the second 3-2, with the Huskies leading. The third period was the herd’s downfall. In making the decision to pull its goalie two minutes out from the end of the period, it allowed the Huskies to score an empty netter. U of S went on to add another one. The final score of

the game was 5-2. The team finished with a miserly record of 5 and 23. It will look to rebuild and improve as it heads into the off-season early, missing the playoffs. The Bisons women’s team will play a best two out of three series against MRU this weekend, with game one set for Feb. 16, game two for Feb. 17 and, if required, game three for Feb. 18.

Vol. 110, No. 22 sports@themanitoban.com

Sports

Basketball celebrates seniors as regular season ends Women clinch playoff spot despite losses, men end season strong but hoping for more It was Seniors’ Night this past Saturday at the Investors Group Athletic Centre (IGAC), as both the women’s and men’s basketball squads celebrated long-time contributors by duelling against the University of British Columbia Okanagan (UBCO) Heat to close out CanWest regular season play.

Women’s team Heading into play against the Heat, the women’s team was looking to lock down the 12th and final playoff spot. A single victory was all it needed to ensure it stayed above its rival, the University of Winnipeg (U of W) Wesmen, whom it swept the previous week. In the first match, senior Lauren Bartlett played a herculean 40 minutes and orchestrated the herd’s offence masterfully, tossing many excellent passes that were illustrative of why she currently leads the CanWest conference in assists with an average of five per game. Along with 17 points, she finished the night with nine more assists, pushing her career total to 352 — nine away from tying the Bison all-time record of 361. Fellow senior Emily Johnson put up a Bison-high 20 points, adding five rebounds and four assists as well. Freshman sensation Anna Miko also played quite well, chipping in with 16 points.

Despite these admirable Bison performances, UBCO’s Lauren Foullong was by far the best player in the gym. Foullong nailed a whopping nine three-pointers, scoring 29 points on the night. Ultimately, the herd could not keep pace with Foullong’s hot shooting, as it dropped the first game of the weekend 95-83. Before the second match, the Bisons paid a touching tribute to a trio of seniors: Johnson, Talia Peters and Bartlett — all of whom started the game for head coach Michele Sung. Nevertheless, despite a good deal of sentimentality swirling through ICAG for the three seniors, the herd came out flat in their final home game, as UBCO dominated, snatching an 85-64 victory. Emerson Martin, however, was a bright spot for the herd, netting 12 points. Bartlett, too, played well, scoring 17 once again. Even so, she fell short of the assists record, registering only five. In their final games at IGAC, Johnson recorded 10 points while Peters chipped in with two. The Bisons will finish the year with a 6-14 record. The good news for this Bisons team is that it still clinched a playoff spot, as the U of W lost both of its games this past weekend. And the good news for Bartlett is that she’ll have at least one more crack at the record.

A couple of teams have make-up games in hand, which means the final CanWest women’s basketball tournament schedule cannot be released yet. Although, ostensibly, the Bisons will face off against the University of Regina Rams in the 12 vs. 5 matchup on Feb. 21 in Abbotsford, B.C., as the University of the Fraser Valley is hosting the tournament.

Men’s team Before looking to move up the CanWest standings after a pair of difficult losses to rival U of W, the men’s team first had one senior to honour — namely, Wyatt Tait. Tait is currently a fifth-year player, who has played 1,536 minutes in a Bison uniform. In the first game, Daren Watts continued his fine run of form, dropping 21 big points. Logging big minutes, Mason Kraus also stepped up for the herd, scoring 13 points and distributing 5 assists. He also delivered the most exciting moment of the game: a chase-down block. Indeed, Kraus’s brilliant chase-down block ignited both the herd and IGAC. Riding that momentum, the herd went on to win the game 83-78. In the second game, Kraus stole the show again, sinking five of six attempted three-pointers, finishing the night with 19 points and nab-

photos / Matthew Merkel / staff

Joshua Brandt, staff

bing a couple of steals. Moreover, the electric Kraus is now currently second in assists per game and tied for first in steals per game in the CanWest conference. In his final regular season game at IGAC, Tait — a true “glue guy” — contributed with six points, three assists, five rebounds and his full slate of fouls. The herd managed to hold off a pesky UBCO squad fighting for its playoff life, obtaining an 81-72 victory. By sweeping UBCO, Manitoba secured a spot in the CanWest men’s basketball tournament, which it hosts on Feb. 21-25 at IGAC. On a side note, coming off an injury scare in his last game, star player Simon Hildebrandt

was quiet all weekend, mustering only one seven-point game and one six-point game. Doubtless, the herd will need him to be stellar in the tournament should it advance as far as it likely hopes to. Overall, the herd finished the season with a solid record of 13-7. Both the women’s and men’s teams’ next games will be during reading week in their respective CanWest basketball tournaments, with precise matchups and tournament schedules still to be announced, as a few teams still have regular season games to make up.