THE JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN
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INTHIS ISSUE
LETTERFROM THECEO
Dear Readers,
As we move forward together into 2025, I am excited to introduce the next issue of our quarterly newsletter, titled "The Journey Has Just Begun." This edition focuses on the vital phase of post-adoption, offering support, advice, and resources to help families thrive as they continue their journey after adoption.
In this issue, we’ll highlight the range of post-adoption support services we provide, from advice and guidance to support groups and training, all designed to assist families as they navigate their new chapter together With our Adoption Together Service we offer families psychology lead support groups and one to one psychology consultation sessions. These services are essential in ensuring that families feel supported and empowered every step of the way.
You’ll also find information about our upcoming Family Days opportunities for families to connect, share experiences, and create lasting memories.
In our article "It’s Okay to Not Be Okay," we’ll address the reality of postadoption blues, offering reassurance and practical advice for parents who may be struggling during this period.
We’ll also present a curated Toolbox of Resources, filled with books, online communities, and more to guide families through their journey. For those considering adopting again, we’ll explore the options and considerations for expanding their families once more.
We hope this issue provides the support and inspiration you need as you continue on your path Remember, at St David’s, we are here for you every step of the way.
Warm regards,
Jason Baker
JASON BAKER, CEO
MEETATEAMMEMBER: MARTINAMCCROSSAN
Deputy Director & Adoption Services Manager
Q: You’ve had a long and dedicated career in adoption and fostering. What led you to specialise in this field?
A: Since qualifying as a social worker in 1997, I’ve always worked with children and families, and have focussed on adoption and fostering There’s something incredibly rewarding about helping children find stability, love, and belonging Over the years, I’ve worked in local authorities, policy development, and now at St. David’s, which has given me a broad perspective on the challenges and opportunities within adoption.
Q: You joined St. David’s in 2018 and have taken on key leadership roles. What makes this organisation special to you?
A: St. David’s is a fantastic place to work. We have an incredibly skilled and experienced team who go above and beyond every day. The culture here is one of care, support, and seeing the strengths in every child and family we work with It’s a privilege to be part of an organisation that puts children’s needs at the centre of everything we do
Q: As Deputy Director and Adoption Services Manager, what aspects of your role do you enjoy the most?
A: While I enjoy the strategic and management side of my role, I also really value is staying connected to the families we work with I’m involved in support groups, meet-ups, and preparation training, which means I still get to build relationships with adopters and see their journeys unfold. Providing that ongoing support is something we’re really good at s an organisation, and it’s something I’m very roud of.
Q: Adoption can be a complex and emotional rocess. How does St. David’s support families hrough it?
: Support is at the heart of what we do. We ecognise that adoption doesn’t end with a lacement—it’s a lifelong journey We offer a range f services, from preparation training to postdoption support, including therapeutic input, peer upport groups, and events where families can connect. Our approach is all about listening, understanding, and working alongside families to help them navigate any challenges that arise.
Q: Looking ahead, what are your hopes for adoption services at St. David’s?
A: I want us to keep building on our strengths providing excellent support, advocating for children’s needs, and ensuring adopters feel confident and well-prepared. Adoption is evolving, and we need to keep adapting too, whether that’s through innovative support services, better connections with birth families, or new ways of helping children understand their life stories I’m excited about the future and committed to making sure St David’s remains at the forefront of adoption services.
IT’SOKAYTO NOTBEOKAY
Understanding Post-Adoption Blues
Adopting a child is often described as a transformative, life-affirming experience. It can bring great joy, hope, and a sense of fulfilment as new families are formed. However, for some adoptive parents, the road to creating a family isn't always filled with happiness and ease. After the excitement of placement and the initial adjustments, it’s not uncommon to experience a feeling often referred to as post-adoption blues. While the emotional aftermath of adoption can be unexpected and sometimes overwhelming, it’s important to remember: it’s okay to not be okay.
What are Post-Adoption Blues?
Post-adoption blues refers to the emotional shift that some adoptive parents experience after the initial excitement of the adoption placement It’s typically a period of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure about the changes happening in your life While it’s normal to feel emotional during the early days of adoption, post-adoption blues can sometimes linger for weeks or months as parents adjust to the new dynamics of their family. It’s essential to understand that these feelings are normal and do not mean you’re failing as a parent. Just as biological parents might experience a mix o emotions after childbirth, adoptive parents can face similar challenges. You may feel a mix of joy, guilt, sadness, frustration, or even a sense of isolation
Why Do Post-Adoption Blues Happen?
There are many reasons why post-adoption blues may occur Transitioning into parenthood, regardless of how you become a parent, is an emotionally intense experience. For adoptive parents, there may also be added stressors, such as:
Adjusting to new roles: The process of becoming a parent, especially when it’s not the route you expected or envisioned, can create a shift in identity that’s difficult to navigate.
Expectations vs reality: After an adoption, there may be high expectations that everything will be perfect, but the reality can be more challenging than anticipated.
Grief and loss: Both adoptive parents and children may experience feelings of grief over past losses such as the loss of birth family or the loss of the life they once knew.
Bonding challenges: Developing a strong bond with your child can take time and patience. Sometimes it may take longer than you expect, leading to frustration or doubt.
Lack of support: If you feel isolated or that others don’t understand what you’re going through, this can heighten feelings of loneliness or inadequacy
Reassurance: You Are Not Alone
First and foremost, it’s important to know that you are not alone Many adoptive parents go through similar feelings. This experience, though difficult, is a part of the journey. Your feelings do not make you a bad parent, nor do they reflect your ability to care for your child. In fact, acknowledging the struggles and seeking support is a sign of strength and commitment to your family’s well-being. At St. David’s Adoption Service, we understand that post-adoption blues can be part of the process. We are here to help and support you through this time, offering guidance, and support . You don’t have to navigate this alone our team is ready to walk alongside you and ensure you have the resources and assistance you need.
Practical Advice for Managing Post-Adoption Blues
While there’s no quick fix for post-adoption blues, there are several ways to manage and navigate this challenging period:
Give yourself time and grace: Adjustment takes time Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling It’s okay to not have everything figured out right away
Seek support: Whether it’s connecting with other adoptive parents, or reaching out to adoption support groups, talking to others who understand can provide comfort Talk to your social worker about how you’re feeling Your emotions are valid, and you deserve support.
Focus on self-care: Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your child. Make time for activities that nurture your well-being whether it’s getting enough rest, exercising, enjoying a hobby, or just taking a break when needed.
Set realistic expectations: Understand that the journey of adoption is filled with ups and downs. There will be moments of joy, but also moments of struggle. Both are normal, and neither diminishes the love and care you have for your child.
Bond at your own pace: The process of bonding with your child can take time. Don't rush it or feel pressured by others. Just as you are learning about your child, they are learning to trust and feel comfortable with you.
Reach out for professional help if needed: If your feelings persist or become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional. Your GP, Health Visitor and social workers can offer guidance and support tailored to your needs
Post-adoption blues can be a difficult, yet normal part of the adoption journey. It’s a sign that you are navigating deep emotional waters, and while the road may seem tough, it is ultimately part of the broader process of building a family
You are not alone, and your feelings are completely valid Reach out for support, practice self-care, and remember that, just like any other transition, time and patience are key. In the end, the bond you build with your child, though it may take time, will be more than worth the journey.
At St. David’s Adoption Service, we are here for you, offering our ongoing support to help you through the highs and lows of the adoption process. It’s okay to not be okay but it’s also okay to ask for help and take the steps you need to heal, grow, and thrive together as a family.
Resource
·Listen to an Interview with Dr Lynn Snow speak with Jane Poore , Adoption Consultant, discussing, what it is, who it can affect Post adoption depression | CoramBAAF
Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS): What it is, what professionals can do to help, how adoptive parents can deal with it by SM Macrae
Implications of the Cumbria Child Safeguarding Practice Review
Whooley questions
Keep in Touch: info@stdavidscs.org
LIFELONG SUPPORT
Every adoption begins with a child, and each child’s story is unique. In their early years, children may have experienced trauma that can have lasting effects. We recognise that adoption is both rewarding and challenging, and that parenting children with complex needs often requires ongoing support. That’s why we’re here—right beside you every step of the way— acting as a responsible and supportive guide for families
We offer a range of post-adoption support, including :
Support groups and adopter meet-ups
Summer and Christmas celebrations
Training and workshops
Regular 1:1 support from our highly skilled social work team
Information, advice, and help accessing the right services for your child
Our Adopting Together service, which includes 1:1 consultations with a clinical psychologist and access to specialist psychology-led programmes to support therapeutic parenting
A closed, adopter-led Facebook group for peer support
Quarterly newsletter
Families attending our support groups and seasonal celebrations often stay connected with our service for years after the adoption order is granted. We offer lifelong support and welcome contact from adoptive families at any stage whether for one-off advice or help accessing therapeutic interventions.
OUR FOSTERING SERVICE
We are thrilled to share that we recently approved our first foster carers, who initially started their journey with us by exploring adoption Our new fostering service now also includes a family who previously adopted through St David’s and are working through the preparation and assessment as foster carers with us These families contribute to the addition of new fostering households in Wales, where there is a severe shortage of foster carers in Wales with many children awaiting stable and supportive homes.
We are actively recruiting new foster carers to to respond to this need for foster carers in Wales. We provide personalised advice and comprehensive resources to guide you through the fostering process, ensuring you are fully supported by St David’s in making a meaningful difference in a child’s life. If you are interested in learning more about what becoming a foster carer might look like for you and are keen to make a lasting impact on a child’s life, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at fostering@stdavidscs.org.
Foster carers receive fees and allowances to support the role, please see our website for up-to-date information. At St David’s, we are excited to introduce the early stages of our new Fostering Service, focused on meeting the evolving needs of children in care
As we embark on this new journey, we are proud to announce our modernisation of the placement model, which will see us concentrate solely on providing care for children aged 0-12 This approach allows us to dedicate resources to ensuring that young children receive the best possible care during their formative years, and this includes a transitions service to support children moving out of residential homes and into fostering or adoption households or returning to birth family.
We are also pleased to be in a position to offer Welsh Early Permanence, helping to ensure that children’s needs are met as early as possible, and their long-term stability is prioritised. While these services are still in their infancy, we are committed to their growth and development to provide the highest standard of care for vulnerable children. or give us a call. Together, we can provide the love, care, and stability that children deserve during their most formative years.
TOOLBOXOF RESOURCES
The Resource Toolbox for Adopters is a comprehensive guide designed to support individuals and families navigating the adoption journey. This toolbox offers a wealth of practical information, advice, and resources tailored to the unique needs of adopters at various stages of the process.
From the initial decision to adopt, through matching and placement, to post-adoption support, the toolbox is structured to provide guidance every step of the way It includes sections on understanding the legal framework, preparing for adoption, and managing the emotional challenges that may arise. Additionally, it covers essential topics like attachment, trauma-informed care, and tips for building strong family bonds.
The toolbox also features contributions from experienced adopters, social workers, and psychologists, offering real-life insights and professional advice. Resources such as checklists, templates, and recommended readings are included to help adopters stay organised and wellinformed.
Whether you are just starting out or are looking for ongoing support, the Resource Toolbox for Adopters aims to empower you with the knowledge and tools needed to create a loving, supportive environment for your child. This resource is an invaluable companion in ensuring a smooth and positive adoption experience.
BOOKS
Adopting a Child, Jennifer Lord, 2021, 12th edition
This comprehensive guide is a bestseller known for its clear explanations about adoption. It covers the meaning of adoption, the diverse profiles of children awaiting adoption, the types of families agencies seek, and step-by-step guidance on how to navigate the adoption process. The inclusion of short case studies helps readers grasp real-life scenarios and better understand the adoption journey
The Pink Guide to Adoption for Lesbians and Gay Men, Nicola Hill, 2020, 3rd edition
A ground-breaking resource specifically tailored for LGBTQ+ individuals considering adoption. It provides an in-depth exploration of the adoption process from an LGBTQ+ perspective, addressing unique challenges and considerations. The book is enriched with quotations and true stories, making it an indispensable guide for any lesbian or gay person looking to adopt.
Flying Solo, Julia Wise, 2007
This inspiring book delves into the realities of single parenting after adoption Drawing from personal experiences, the author shares heartfelt stories, mistakes, and valuable insights The book resonates deeply with single adopters, offering practical advice and top tips for navigating the complexities of raising an adopted child independently.
The Adopter’s Handbook, Amy Neil Salter, 2018
A must-have resource for adoptive parents, this handbook provides comprehensive information, resources, and services throughout the adoption journey and beyond Organised in a quick-reference format, it offers insights into useful organisations and equips families with the knowledge needed to support adopted children and foster family well-being
Promoting Attachment and Resilience, Gillian Schofield and Mary Beek, 2014
This practical guide is designed to support adopters in providing sensitive care for troubled children who have experienced trauma and loss. It introduces the Secure Base model of caregiving, offering a valuable framework and strength-based approach for understanding children's needs and behaviours. The book outlines dimensions of caregiving crucial for children to thrive and fulfil their potential.
The
Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting, Sally Donovan, 2014
Written from a deeply personal perspective, this book offers realistic advice for adoptive parents. It bridges professional knowledge of trauma and attachment with the author's firsthand experience as a parent of two traumatised children. Readers gain insights into navigating day-to-day challenges, responding to meltdowns, and nurturing their adopted child while embracing imperfections.
Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder: Parenting a child with an invisible disability, Dr Mary Mather and Julia Brown, 2014
This unique book addresses the challenges of parenting children with FASD (Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders). Dr. Mather, a renowned medical expert, explains the reasons behind the child's behaviour, while Julia Brown, a parent of two children with FASD, shares practical strategies and real-life knowledge. The book is valuable not only for parents but also for professionals supporting families affected by FASD.
Adoption Conversations: What, when and how to tell, Renée Wolfs, 2008
- This in-depth guide focuses on addressing questions adopted children may have and provides suggestions for age-appropriate explanations. While it primarily discusses the needs of internationally adopted children, the practical advice offered is relevant to any adopted child, helping parents navigate important conversations with sensitivity and understanding.
The Parenting Matters series by CoramBAAF
This series is a treasure trove of expert knowledge and real-life experiences covering various children's health conditions Adopters and foster carers share their experiences and offer practical advice, making these books invaluable resources for anyone considering parenting a child with specific health challenges Topics include Trauma, Genetic Disorders, Domestic Violence, Self-harm issues, Mental Health Issues, Parental substance misuse, Developmental Delay, Sleep issues, and more.
ONLINE
Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma
ost Institute
Post presents a unique perspective on the impacts d abuse and neglect, addressing long-lasting ours stemming from these experiences His ach extends to various conditions such as Reactive ment Disorder, Oppositional Defiance, ADHD, m, PTSD, Depression, and Hyperactivity, providing e guidance for parents and educators. Explore t The Post Institute YouTube Channel
This collaborative platform brings together expertise from Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish (Keynote Speaker and Author), The Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre, and SAfER Fostering Their videos cover topics like PACE parenting, de-escalation techniques, and understanding traumatised children Delve deeper at The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma
YouTube Channel
SEWAS Psychology
Specifically tailored for adoptive parents, this YouTube series by South East Wales Adoption Service Psychology delves into adoption-related issues. Topics include supporting your child, self-care for parents, and understanding trauma's impact on the brain. Explore their content on SEWAS Psychology YouTube Channel
Beacon House
A specialised therapeutic service focusing on trauma and loss, Beacon House provides insights into repairing early trauma, the concept of 'Window of Tolerance,' and grounding techniques Learn more from their videos on Beacon House YouTube Channel
St David’s Adoption Service
Access workshops and resources on adoption through their Vimeo site. Topics covered include Family and Friends Workshop, adopting sibling groups, and PACE parenting. Some content is passwordprotected, accessible with the password Workshop123. Explore their offerings at St David’s Children Society Vimeo
AUK Wales - AUK provide a range of support services across Wales
TV&FILM
Lost Boys & Fairies
Family is made from love" is a hear musical tale of a gay couple, Andy their adoption journey. Written by Adopter, the story captures the em and lows they face, from societal c joyous triumphs. Through soulful m shows that family isn’t defined by resilience, and the deep bond they
The Stories We Bring with Us
Messages for adoptive parents from adopted people" PAC-UK created this short film commissioned by the National Adoption Strategy Team through the Regional Adoption Agencies Leaders Programme, funded by the Department for Education. Produced by Thunderbrain Productions. Find more information about PAC-UK Here
Our Lives Series 6: Searching for My Other Mam
Gerallt Wyn Jones, raised Welsh by his adoptive white parents, embarks on a journey to find his birth parents. Born black to a white unwed mother in 1973, Gerallt was given away when he was a few weeks old. Raised in a very white north-west Wales, speaking Welsh, he always felt different Nearly 50 years later, fearing it might be too late, he searches for his black father, his heritage, and the young white mother who felt she had no choice but to give him away. BBC iPlayer Link
Adoption Shared – Black Voices
A podcast series focuses on adoption in the Black community. Hosted by Eddie Elliott for We Are Family, in partnership with Adopt London, the podcasts feature adoptive parents, adoptees, and adoption professionals sharing their experiences. Click the link for the Black Voices podcasts, which highlight the joys and challenges of adoption within the Black community.
Listen here
Black Ballad
A UK-based lifestyle platform for Black women, als hosts a podcast titled "The Realities of the Adoptio Process and How We Can Better Centre Adoptees
This episode features five Black British women sharing their unique perspectives on adoption. It explores the experience of adopting a child and emphasizes the importance of centring adoptees. Special thanks to the incredible women and Adopt London for bringing this podcast to life, as well as the production team at Black Ballad.
Listen here
PODCASTS
Truth Be Told
The podcast features real stories from adoptive families in Wales, offering a genuine view of adoption. Whether you ' re considering adoption, waiting to start a family, or already a parent, you ' re not alone in facing challenges. Adoption is open to all, regardless of your background. Listen to diverse adopters share their experiences and find inspiration for your adoption journey Here
The A&F Podcast
Explore more on fostering, adoption, kinship, and children's permanence with The A&F Podcast, Listen Here
New Family Social
Adoption, Fostering & Tea: The New Family Social Podcast Adoption and fostering chat with people who’ve done it, from the UK’s LGBTQ+ adoption and fostering charity, New Family Social. Listen Here
Mum… Again
In 'Mum Again,' Angela Frazer-Wicks shares her extraordinary journey as a mother, offering a powerful perspective on adoption and family experiences. Listen Here
Spotlight on FASD
Spotlight on FASD is the UK's first podcast dedicated to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD), tackling topics from diagnosis to education. Access the audio version on Apple Podcasts Here
POSITIVE2025 VIBES
We're thrilled to continue offering a special addition to our quality newsletter In each issue, we feature the St David's Positive Vibes Playlist, a carefully curated collection of uplifting and feel-good tunes designed to inspire positivity and bring joy to listeners.
Created by St. David's Children's Society, this playlist serves as a reminder of the power of music in promoting emotional well-being and resilience. With a blend of genres and artists, it highlights songs that encourage hope, unity, and personal growth, making it the perfect soundtrack for families, children, and supporters alike.
Whether you ' re celebrating milestones or seeking a moment of upliftment, the St. David's Positive Vibes Playlist is sure to brighten your day.
Listen Here
CONTACT
St David’s Adoption Service 28 Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3BA
029 2066 7007 or info@stdavidscsorg
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As a registered Charity you may like to consider supporting the work of St David’s Your contribution will help ensure that every child with an adoption plan in Wales is placed with a loving family and supported to reach their full potential HERE
Registered Office: 28 Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3BA
St David’s Children Society is registered as a charity with the Charity Commission for England and Wales (Registration No: 509163) and a company limited by Guarantee (Registered Cardiff 1546688) St David’s Adoption Service is the brand name of the St David’s Children Society’s adoption service.
Mae Cymdeithas Plant Dewi Sant wedi ei chofrestru fel elusen gyda Chomisiwn Elusennau Cymru a Lloegr (Rhif Cofrestru: 509163) a chwmni cyfyngedig drwy Warant (Cofrestredig Caerdydd 1546688) Gwasanaeth Mabwysiadu Dewi Sant yw enw brand gwasanaeth mabwysiadu Cymdeithas Plant Dewi Sant
© St David’s Children Society 2024
