Starting next year, the chat feature on Teams will be permanentely removed
Freshmen at SOARentation will be forced to learn the Rasputin dance
Administration announces no school on Mondays
It is announced that flute is no longer part of the band
A new electrifying performance of a popular story will be displayed at SMCHS to contribute to student moralBy Sabrina Hamra, Feature Editor
The gigantic news on campus is a giant peach.!
Students have been working tirelessly to grow a peach for a realistic recreation of the infamous “James and the Giant Peach.” In C building, the seeds for the peach were planted in September at the pit end of peach season.
“I love giant fruits,” scientist Dalia Kanan
said, “It’s my passion to grow them.”
Kanan is a student at SMCHS who’s in her junior year. The peach she planted is currently at 19 feet tall, and is only expected to get bigger. Hopes held by Kanan are that the peach will reach 74 feet by the end of April, so that it can be carved in time for the production.
Along with SMCHS student Lizabeth Chance, Kanan has been choreographing the growth of the fruit akin to the production itself. English teacher James Silberstein will be playing the lead role as “James,” since his name already fits the part.
“It would be a perfect touch!” Chance commented.The production is set to take place the week before finals to lift spirits for testing week. Students from all grades are invited to join, but participation is required for freshmen.
Although many were confused by this rule, the administration affirms it will help the freshmen jumpstart their career in the SMCHS community.
“It’s a bonding op-
portunity that unites both science and performing arts,” Administrator Barb Rey explained, “we hope this production will elevate SMCHS’s value as a multi-faceted school.”
Taking place in the gym, this performance will be revolutionary and unlike any type of show presented before. One of the most anticipated aspects of the production will be the appearance of
a talking spider found recently in Australia. Paying tribute to the spider that appears in the book, arachnologists have agreed to export one member of the species to SMCHS in honor of the performance.
“The spider is like a parrot,” Kanan said, “It can repeat words. It will be a perfect aspect to add to the production’s liveliness. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get
lost in the giant peach!”
As excitement builds, Kanan and Chance have been spending hours each day curating the peach, planning the spider’s arrival, and casting parts. However, the long days of committed work are sure to be worth it in the end.
“As long as we get to eat the peach after the production is over, I’ll be ha ppy,” Chance summed up.
The newest pressing matter at SMCHS is whether or not the school board should allow litter boxes in our bathrooms.
Lately, students have been complaining about lines and wait times for bathroom stalls. The wait times can be anywhere from 30 seconds to even 1 minute and students want change.
Protests for bigger and better bathrooms were arranged and the voices are finally being heard. Our school board has come up with the genius idea to install liter boxes in the bathrooms to help with this issue.
Experimental trial runs have shown this to be super
effective. The trials proved bathroom wait times to be cut down by nearly 40%.
With these numbers, most of the board is swayed to approve this motion. This motion is set to go into effect as soon as the first of April.
These litter boxes would be around 10 feet in length and width to ensure maximum amount of space.
The proto-types are in a grey-sleek color, although models installed in other schools vary in hue.
These litter boxes would allow for more efficient bathroom time. This would allow for students to miss less time out of class and lunch. This would turn-up the school smartness level by 60%! These statistics were so compelling that 25 out of the 30 participants
in the meeting voted in favor of installing them.
“I’m looking forward to shorter bathroom wait times, as everything will be more efficient and quicker,” one student said.
The installation process is said to only take around a week and construction is already set for the first week of April. Bathrooms would be out of use for this time so students would have to use porta-potties which are already being shipped to campus.
The school board was so excited about this change that they even are considering changing “The Eagle Nest” to “The Eagle Litter Box”! Students should get excited for these up-andcoming state-of-the-art litter boxes soon to hit SMCHS!
Starting next year, the chat feature on Teams will be permanently removedBy Chloe Stinson, staff writer
Administration has made the decision to remove the Teams Chat feature from all tablets.
The topic of deleting Teams Chat was discussed at this week’s faculty and staff meeting. During the three-hour meeting, teachers collectively shared reasons about why Teams Chat has become a significant hindrance.
“Teams Chat has enabled students to cheat on quizzes, tests, and homework,”
teacher Mrs. Switzer said.
Several teachers agreed with Switzer’s point as they explained that Teams Chat has become a vessel for those looking for ways to cheat. Another point discussed was chatting during class.
“Several of my students are constantly using Team Chats during class and it is really interfering with my lectures,” teacher Mr. June said.
June and countless other teachers agreed that Teams Chat has negatively affected students’ learning abilities and grades. Looking numerically into the impacts of Teams Chat, it
was found that students’ grades have dropped by as much as 5-10% due to being impaired during class.
By the end of the meeting, teachers concluded that Teams Chat shifts the focus of students to be off task during class time which can be detrimental to their learning.
Teachers unanimously voted in favor of permanently removing Teams Chat from all students’ tablets. Following this unanimous vote, administrators made the decision to ban Teams Chat. By doing so, students will learn to be active learners and better prepared for college.
“
Several of my students are constantly using Teams chats during class and it is really interfering with my lectures. ”
- Mr. June
Santa Margarita Catholic High School (SMCHS) has always prided itself on fostering a diverse and dynamic faculty, but this school year brings a new addition that has students and staff alike buzzing with excitement. Enter Mr. Whimsy, the self-proclaimed purveyor of educational eccentricity and the latest teacher to join the ranks of SMCHS’s esteemed educators.
Despite his somewhat unconventional teaching methods, Mr. Whimsy brings with him a wealth of experience in the field of education. With over two decades of teaching under his belt, he’s no stranger to the ins and outs of the classroom.
Rumor has it that he’s taught everything from algebra to zoology, with a penchant for turning even the most mundane subjects into unforgettable learning experiences.
“One of the greatest joys of teaching is seeing that spark of understanding in a student’s eyes,” Mr. Whimsy remarked, his
voice tinged with enthusiasm, “Whether it’s mastering quadratic equations or dissecting a frog, I believe that learning should be an adventure – and I’m here to guide my students every step of the way.”
practically legendary.”
Beyond his affinity for cafeteria cuisine, Mr. Whimsy’s love for SMCHS runs deep. He speaks fondly of the sense of community and camaraderie that permeates the halls, citing the warm welcome he received from both students and staff as a testament to the school’s inclusive spirit.
One of the most legendary tales of Mr. Whimsy’s teaching prowess involves a physics lesson that quite literally defied gravity. In an attempt to demonstrate the concept of inertia, Mr. Whimsy allegedly constructed a makeshift roller coaster in the school gymnasium, complete with loop-de-loops and hairpin turns. While the administration may have been less than thrilled about the potential safety hazards, there’s no denying the impact it had on his students’ understanding of Newton’s laws.
I never thought possible.”
“He’s like the Dumbledore of SMCHS – a little eccentric, but undeniably brilliant,” remarked Audrey, a junior who had the privilege of being in Mr. Whimsy’s class, “That roller coaster lesson was hands down the coolest thing I’ve ever experi- enced in school. It made physics come alive in a way
However, it’s not just his unconventional teaching methods that set Mr. Whimsy apart – it’s his un- abashed love for the school itself. When asked what drew him to the school, his answer was simple: the chicken tenders and french fries from Hanna’s.
“There’s nothing like a crispy chicken tender dipped in ranch sauce to brighten my day,” he confessed with a twinkle in his eye, “And don’t even get me started on the perfectly seasoned french fries – they’re
But perhaps the most endearing aspect of Mr. Whimsy’s personality is his penchant for the absurd. Outside of the classroom, he’s known to regale colleagues with tales of his misadventures in the world of amateur taxidermy, recounting with glee the time he attempted to stuff a squirrel he found in his backyard with disastrous results.
“It was supposed to be a simple DIY project,” he chuckled, shaking his head at the memory, “but let’s just say that squirrel had other plans. Needless to say, my living room smelled like formaldehyde for weeks.”
No more school on Mondays
Administration announces that there will be no school on Mondays, effective immediately sleep-ins that would make Rip Van Winkle jealous.
By Victoria Mori, Editor in ChiefIn a groundbreaking decision sure to delight students, Santa Margarita Catholic High School’s (SMCHS) school administration has declared that there will be no more school on Mondays, shortening the school week from five days to four. This new change will be going into effect following the end of Easter break in April.
The decision was announced on Feburary 29 through an informative and heartfelt letter to students and parents.
“We have heard all of
your cries and complaints of Monday blues and the dreaded all-periods days, and after long talks and discussions, we have decided to ban Mondays altogether,” the email said.
Another reason for the decision was the result of the extensive resesearch into productiveness, sleep, and overall happiness of students. Following the conclusion that an extra day off will benefit students more, it was only another good reason to take this step.
When students heard of the good news, they immediately started celebrating and praised the amazing SMCHS administration.
They also started making plans for Monday morning
“I will finally be able to catch up on my sleep, and an extra day of no school will be sure to benefit all of us,” senior Jimmy Joo said.
However, not everyone is so thrilled by the news, such as some parents who believe that students should be going to school five days a week.
“Education is so important, and I am paying for my child to come here!” one parent exclaimed, “What happened to the sanctity of education?”
As rumors swirl about other possible suprises the adminstration has up their sleeve, one thing’s for certain: Mondays will never be the same again!
As SMCHS prepares to embark on another school year, one thing is certain – Mr. Whimsy is sure to leave an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of his students. Mondays
After long talks and discussions, we have decided to ban Mondays altogether ”
- Santa Margarita Administration
Next year SMCHS is implementing a new tradition for incoming Eagles. The faculty asked the challenge to be set by the upperclassmen.
As the new freshmen eagerly enter the campus for Soarientation, a mix of excitement and apprehension fills the air. Whispers of the impending tradition circulate among them—a nerve-wracking rite of passage is anticipated. In Soarientation they must learn the Rasputin dance.
Divided into their Link Crew groups, freshmen will stand alongside their peers, unaware of exactly what awaits them. At the heart of the gym will stand the Link Crew leaders, their presence commanding attention. The music will
ignite with its beats pulsating to create an upbeat atmosphere for the anticipated initiation.
“Out of all possible challenges, we have decided to test the freshmen with the Rasputin dance,” Link Crew Leader Nicholas, said, “Not only does it test their mental strength, it also tests their physical strength too, as children these days sit around playing video games. It is a great
form of exercise and will make them stronger.”
Link Crew, faculty, staff, and administration have high hopes for this new tradition. They’ve already though through the potential outcome.
The iconic melody will fill the space to mingle with the anticipated laughter of uncertainty. Movements will begin tentatively, awkwardly, but with each step, determination will hold. Together, freshmen will
navigate the choreography, stumbling and laughing through the motions. In the midst of Soarientation’s atmosphere, bonds will be formed, forged through shared challenges and a lot of embarrassment.
But the challenge doesn’t end with the Rasputin dance. Each freshman is informed they must achieve at least a 95% score on Just Dance, individually, in front of their
peers, adding another layer of pressure.
Dressed in elaborate costumes, they will take turns showcasing their skills, encouraged by their classmates’ cheers and support. When finished they must sing SMCHS’s Alma mater. Their dance and recital will be recorded and sent to their theology classes making up 30% of their final grade for the first semester.
Although it may seem like a questionable activity, this new tradition is sure to foster new relationships between the freshmen and increase social activity.
By the end, flushed faces will reflect triumph. The Rasputin dance symbolizes the resilience and bond of the freshman class. As they depart the gym, they will carry not just a dance learned, but a quiet shared experience that will bond them for years to come.
In an extraordinary turn of events, students at Santa Margarita Catholic High School (SMCHS) were left in awe as their classmates seemingly defied gravity during a physics demonstration gone hilariously awry.
The prank, orchestrated by the senior class, involved hidden harnesses and a clever use of mirrors to create the illusion of levitation.
The spectacle occurred during Mrs. Bork’s sixth-period class, where
students were supposed to learn about the laws of motion. Instead, they were greeted by the sight of their peers floating serenely above their desks.
“We were all doing notes and being lectured, and the next thing you see is a bunch of your classmates in the air, screaming,” one student said.
As the day progressed, the pranksters revealed their secret, helping their classmates ‘descend’ back to solid ground and sharing a good laugh.
The physics class ended with a real lesson on the principles of optics and how easily our senses can be deceived.
The event concluded with a promise from the senior class president, “This is just the beginning. Expect more gravity-defying antics as we approach graduation!”
Social media was abuzz with videos and photos of the ‘levitating’ students, with many alumni wishing they could return to experience the high-flying hijinks. The hashtag #SMCHSLevitation became a trending topic, with students from neighboring schools expressing both envy and amusement.
In an unexpected turn of events, the tranquil halls of SMCHS have become the battleground for a feud of mythical proportions. The school administration has taken a page out of the fantasy playbook, announcing a mandatory allegiance decla ration to either Team Edward or Team Jacob from the Twilight Saga.
As the news spread like wildfire, re actions were as diverse as the characters in Stephe nie Meyer’s iconic se ries. Some students em braced the di rective with open arms, eager to align themselves
with their chosen faction, while others found themselves bewildered by the sudden intrusion of pop culture into their academic lives.
For Lauren Thompson, a self-proclaimed Team Edward enthusiast, this decree is a dream come true. “I’ve been Team Edward since I first laid eyes on Robert Pattinson’s brooding portrayal in the movies,” Thompson gushed, her eyes gleaming with fervor, “Edward Cullen represents everything I aspire to be – mysterious, immortal, and utterly swoon-worthy.I’ve even started wearing glittery makeup to channel his ethereal glow.”
Across the aisle, Jason Rodriguez proudly hoists the Team
Jacob banner, his enthusiasm matching that of his counterpart.
“Jacob Black is the epitome of strength and loyalty,” Rodriguez declared, a wolfish grin spreading across his face, “Taylor Lautner’s portrayal captured the raw intensity of a werewolf protecting his pack. I’ve started hitting the gym religiously, hoping to achieve his masculine physique.”
The rivalry between Team Edward and Team Jacob has ignited a fervent competition within the school grounds. Lunch breaks now resemble miniature battlefields, with students clad in badges emblazoned with their chosen team’s insignia while engaging in heated debates over who is the superior suitor for Bella Swan’s affections.
But the Twilight frenzy hasn’t been confined to student circles. Faculty members have also been swept up in the madness, with teach-
ers proudly displaying their allegiance during staff meetings and decorating their classrooms with posters of their preferred team.
Principal Wood, who spearheaded the divisive initiative, defended the decision as a means of fostering camaraderie and school spirit.
“The Twilight Saga has captivated millions of readers and viewers worldwide,” Wood explained, gesturing to a life-sized cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen stationed in the school foy er, “By embracing the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob dynamic, we’re tapping into that cultural phenomenon and creat ing a sense of unity among our students and staff.”
Despite the initial shock and confusion, many students have em braced the new found camaraderie
that comes with pledging allegiance to their chosen team. Friendships have been forged, and rivalries have been set aside in favor of spirited debates over the merits of vampires versus werewolves.
As the school year progresses, only time will tell whether the fervor surrounding Team Edward and Team Jacob will continue to thrive or if it will eventually fade into obscurity like so many passing fads. But for now, SMCHS remains firmly entrenched in the grips of Twilight mania, with students and staff alike proudly declaring their allegiance to their supernatural idols.
On March 4th, the school band announced that flutes were no longer welcome to join. According to Francisco Calvo, Executive Director of Performing Arts, flutes were “too high-pitched” and “screechy” and did not complement the rest of the instruments in the ensemble.
The decision was met with surprise and disappointment from the flute players who had spent years honing their craft.
“I can’t believe they are discriminating against us based on our instruments,” one devastated flutist said, “This is an attack on our artistry and dedication.”
As news of this decision spread, it sparked outrage among music lovers, both in SMCHS and beyond. The ban on flutes
seemed arbitrary and unfair, raising concerns that other instruments might be excluded in the future. The hashtag #FreeTheFlutes started trending on Instagram, with people from all over the world expressing their support for the musicians.
“The flute is a beautiful and versatile instrument that deserves respect and recognition,” one supportive flutist from JSerra said, “This ban is not only a mistake but a clear violation of artistic freedom and creativity.”
The determined SMCHS flutists themselves were not going to let the decision go unchallenged. They began practicing outside the band room, determined to show that their instrument had a place in the ensemble. They played a song that they had written specifically for the occasion, titled “Flute Freedom,” which quickly went viral on social media.
The song’s catchy melody, combined with its message of empowerment, struck a chord with people all over the world. Celebrities like Taylor Swift and Lebron James got involved, posting videos of themselves playing the flute and calling for Calvo to reverse their decision.
As the movement gained momentum, it put pressure on the school’s administration to act.
Principal Cheri Wood issued a statement in which she expressed her support for the flutists, acknowledging that the decision to ban them had been a mistake.
Calvo eventually issued a statement as well, saying that the decision to ban flutes was made in an attempt to improve the overall quality of the ensemble. However, after witnessing the outpouring of support for the flutes, the school decided to reverse their decision and allow the flutes back into the band.
Support - live footage of Lebron James expresssing his support for the flutists.
“We stand with our fellow musicians and recognize the value of all instruments, including the flute,” Calvo said, “We hope that this decision will help bring about a greater sense of inclusion and appreciation for all forms of music.”
The flutists celebrated their vic-
tory with a performance at the pep rally, playing “Flute Freedom” for their cheering classmates. It was a moment of triumph for the power of music and artistic expression, and a reminder of the importance of standing up for what you believe in, even in the face of adversity.
Students are now allowed to bring their beloved pets to schoolBy Kavin Gulati, Sports Editor and Jayden Yokota, Photo Editor
In a move that’s sure to delight animal lovers and perhaps strike fear into the hearts of the less adventurous, the administration of Santa Margarita Catholic High School (SMCHS) has announced the introduction of a unique event: ‘Bring Your Pet to School’ day. This bold initiative aims to foster a sense of camaraderie among students and their furry, feathered, or scaly companions.
Scheduled for April 2nd, the event will allow students to bring
Pets - students are welcome to bring their pets, no matter what it is.
their beloved pets to school, where they can accompany their owners to classes, roam the hallways, and even participate in select activities. These activities will include a best-dressed pet contest, a pet talent
show, a pet and owner lookalike contest, and an obstacle course challenge. So, make sure your pet comes in shape and in style for this very special day. !
While traditional pets like dogs and cats are expected to make up the majority of attendees, the school administration has assured that all pets are welcome, including snakes of all kinds. Pet-friendly areas will be designated throughout the school, complete with
water stations and waste disposal facilities.
Mark your calendars and get ready to embark on a day of furry, feathered, and scaly adventures at SMCHS’ ‘Bring Your Pet to School’ Day on April 2nd! It’s a day you won’t want to miss.!
Students are allowed to wear whatever they want for a week with no limitsBy Kelly Lu, staff writer
In
a shocking move, Santa Margarita Catholic High School (SMCHS) faculty have announced that next week will be a “Dress Code Purge Week” where students can wear whatever outrageous outfits they want - no school uniforms required. For one week, all dress code restrictions will be lifted and students are given the chance to go wild with their wardrobe choices.
The news will send shockwaves of excitement and disbelief through our previously traditional school with well-established uniform policies. For decades, students at SMCHS have been required to wear Nike polos, blue Ea-
gle sweaters, khakis for boys, and knee-length skirts and plain colored sweaters for girls. Even on free dress days, there’s still a set of rules to follow. Being caught out of uniform results in a one hour detention and a Saturday school upon repeat offense. All of these go out the window April 1-7.
But why? After speaking with numerous faculty members, it was deduced that this idea was pitched under the pretense of the week ending on April 7th, the feast day for Jean-Baptiste de La Salle. Jean-Baptiste believed in the inherent dignity of students to follow God’s image. In a sort of quasi-experiment, our school wanted us to express this in the ways that we see fit, embracing our inner images, self-respect, and our understandings of how we
project ourselves in relation to God. Additionally, this one week of total freedom will help keep the regular dress-codebreakers in check for the rest of the year, reigning in more strictness on our assigned uniforms.
“I can’t wait to bust out my torn denim jacket, crop tops, and slides,” an anonymous sophomore exclaimed, “It’s going to be total fashion anarchy.”
Not everyone is on board with the dress code free-for-all, how ever. Members of the alumni association and parents’ council have expressed outrage at the announcement.
“Have they gone utterly mad?” Fitch Forthright, class of 1982, remarked, “Why, back in my day, anyone caught not wearing the pre-
scribed uniform would have been suspended on the spot. This purge week sets an unpredictable precedent and goes against everything SMCHS stands for.”
The school has issued some basic guidelines for Purge Week - no offensive images or language on clothing and “nothing too revealing.” Racist or overly po- lit-
erated. But otherwise, students have the green light to take their rebellious style leanings as far as they want from April 1st through April 7th.
So brace yourselves for a wild exodus of edgy youth fashion in the halls of SMCHS. One thing’s for sure - this dress code purge is going to make for one unforgettable spirit week!
SMCHS’ massive pool will be converted into an ice rink in MayBy Victoria Mori, Editor in Chief
It has been announced that Santa Margarita Catholic High School’s (SMCHS) beloved swimming pool will be converted into an ice rink to celebrate the end of the 2023-2024 school year.
Using new state-ofthe-art technology, the pool will be easily frozen and will be cost efficient too. The school has decided to do this because students have been so great this year and they deserve a treat.
A whole week will be dedicated to a day on the rink, with one day for each grade. Not only will students be able to skate on the rink, but
there will be a snow machine that will blow snow onto the pool deck and bleachers, where students will also be able to ski and snowboard.
“I am looking forward to skating on the pool,” senior Eugene V. Debs said, “It is so rare to see an ice rink in California, especially in May. Our school really takes care of us and always schedules fun events for us.”
Although the date for the event is not yet confirmed, it will most likely be scheduled in May, after the conclusion of the swim season.
“It’s like a winter wonderland,” Debs added.
Some skeptics are concerned that the warm weather will melt the ice on the pool, but rest assured, the technology
that makes it possible is heat proof and will stay cold, even in the hottest temperatures.
“We’ve tested it multiple times, and each time the pool has stayed frozen for weeks,” expert Woodrow Wilson said, “In addition, it is very safe, even for students.”
The event will be free for ASB cardholders and $200 dollars for nonASB cardholders to attend. Other activites at the event include an Elsa look-alike competiton and a snowball fight.
“Although there are many other fun activities, the main attraction is the ice rink. I’m sure other students just like me are looking forward to skating on the rink the most,” Debs concluded.
Disneyland: the happiest or scariest place on Earth? On March 28, SMCHS junior Jocelyn Fieldman never returned from a physics fieldtrip to Disneyland. A student claims she overheard Mickey Mouse persuading Fieldman to go to the basketball court on top of the Matterhorn. Shortly after, she was no where to be found.
“I never trusted that mouse,” Terry Smidge, head teacher of the trip, explained.
Physics students were pumped for a day of fun and learning at Disneyland that quickly ended
when Fieldman went missing. Smidge reported the disappearance to staff immediately, but they claimed to not know where she was.
“Disney corporation is not responsible for the liability of any children, and our Mickey Mouse would never do anything against policy,” a Disneyland executive reported.
Fieldman’s parents were alerted about their daughter immediately, yet they did not seem too worried.
“She’ll turn up if she wants her phone back,” Kris Fieldmen, Jocelyn’s dad, said, “she’s always been good at hiding, I bet she’s just upset because we took her phone.”
Regardless of why she’s missing, Fieldman hasn’t been seen for three days. Reports from her
peers account that she loves Disneyland, and has expressed to many of them that she would do anything to keep her Fast Pass active.
“If you ask me, she just wants to stay at Disneyland and not go back to school,” classmate Ana Pear claimed, “I don’t understand why she doesn’t just go on the weekends, she has a pass.”
Pear was sitting next to Fieldman on the Matterhorn ride when Fieldman quickly jumped out of the ride to rush to the basketball court on top of the Matterhorn. The court was extensively searched shortly after, but nothing was found expect a scrunchie that possibly be-
longed to Fieldman.
“She was acting weird ever since I saw her talk to Mickey, but I really didn’t expect her to jump out the ride,” Pear expressed.
Disneyland reports
Fieldman has been at Disneyland every day for the past four months. Many of the times,
cantly, likely because of her hours at Disney.
“We thought she just had medial emergencies,” Kris Fieldman said, “but maybe the real emergency was a need for Disney trips. I am so glad we took her phone away.”
Hopes are high that Fieldman will be found
pened, and will she come back for
Advanced Tree Climbing HL is a perfect elective for students interested in trees, physical activity, and earth.
By Victoria Mori, Editor in ChiefStarting next fall, Santa Margarita Catholic High School (SMCHS) will be adding a new, hands on elective to their already wide array of electives. This one in particular is especially engaging and will help students in their life beyond the classroom.
Advanced Tree Climbing HL is exactly the name: it teaches students how to climb trees. This class is
PERFECT for those who are looking to jumpstart their career in something environment-based in the future. Not only is this great for environmental careers, but this class is a great physical activity that will help students become stronger by 236%, guaranteed.
Such a class like Advanced Tree Climbing HL needs an esteemed teacher to teach it to help students excell. SMCHS has hired Gabriel Tronco,
champion of season 35 of Survivor, to lead the class.
“I believe my experience in Survivor has made me a great candidate to teach this class,” Tronco said, “In Survivor, I had to climb a tree to escape a tiger chasing after me in Fiji. It happened more than once, so
I have a lot of experience.”
As Advanced Tree Climbing HL is not only an advanced class but also an Honors Level IB course, there are strict course prerequisites that students must complete before being able to take the class. The first requirement is students
must score a 5 on the following exams: AP Physics, AP Environmental Science, and a 5 on AP Biology. The second requirement is that students must be enrolled in the full IB program. The third requirement is to pay a fee of $100,000, as lessons will be conducted in differ-
ent parts of the world, such as Brazil, South Africa, and Russia to practice climbing on different types of trees.
When asked if he is concerned about his students falling behind in other classes, Tronco angrily said, “You have to do what you have to do. Tree climbing isn’t a class, it’s a lifestyle. You need to be willing to put everything you’ve got in this class.”
Previous students that have been taught under the watchful eye of Tronco have gone on to win Survivor, attend prestigous colleges like Harvard and MIT, and even go to the Olympics. Students who take the class are guaranteed to learn many valuable lessons, not just about trees, but about life too.
“My haters tell me that tree climbing is useless and dumb, and I’m wasting the precious years of students, but the real lesson to learn is to connect with mother nature and channel our inner human being,” Tronco concluded.
