PICNIC ON CRAGGY ISLAND
Also by Lissa Evans
novels
Spencer’s List
Odd One Out
Their Finest Hour and a Half (motion picture released as Their Finest)
Crooked Heart
Old Baggage
V for Victory
Small Bomb at Dimperley
novels for children
Small Change for Stuart
Big Change for Stuart
Wed Wabbit
Wished
PICNIC ON CRAGGY ISLAND
The Surreal Joys of Producing
Father Ted
Lissa Evans
TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
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First published in Great Britain in 2025 by Doubleday an imprint of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Lissa Evans 2025
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To
Dermot and Frank and
to all Ted fans – past, present and future
‘The Mainland’
(series 3, episode 4)
‘Escape from Victory’
(series 3, episode 5)
‘Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse’
(series 3, episode 6)
‘Night of the Nearly Dead’
(series 3, episode 7)
‘Going to America’
(series 3, episode 8)
FATHER TED : THE BASIC FACTS
Made by: Hat Trick Productions for Channel 4
Series 1, first broadcast April 1995
Series 2, first broadcast March 1996
‘A Christmassy Ted’, first broadcast December 1996
Series 3, first broadcast March 1998
Writers: Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews
Cast:
Father Ted – Dermot Morgan
Father Dougal – Ardal O’Hanlon
Father Jack – Frank Kelly
Mrs Doyle – Pauline McLynn
Director of Series 1, 2 and ‘A Christmassy Ted’ –Declan Lowney
Directors of Series 3 – Graham Linehan (location director), Andy De Emmony (studio director)
Producer of Series 1 – Geoffrey Perkins
Producer of Series 2, 3 and ‘A Christmassy Ted’ –
Lissa Evans
INTRODUCTION
In which I demonstrate the complex art of producing
The series stunt supervisor was Bronco McLoughlin, a stocky, cheerful, imperturbable man who had once worked on the film The Mission. Being strapped to a crucifix and thrown into a river was, I imagine, an almost perfect preparation for Father Ted, and Bronco never looked in the slightest bit worried about anything, even when dressed as a nun.
In the series 2 episode ‘New Jack City’, Father Jack is hauled off to St Clabbert’s home for ancient and uncontrollable priests and, in the momentary lull that follows, Ted reflects on his memories of life with his senior colleague. Part of the flashback sequence shows Ted happily lining up a putt on a golf course and then being deliberately knocked over by a car driven straight across the green by Jack.
A scene that occupied half a line on the page translated into half a morning’s filming on the links outside Lahinch, County Clare, in the west of Ireland, with Bronco, disguised as Jack, driving the car and a stuntman called Alan as Ted. I saw them talking to each other before the shot, obviously discussing the clever, secret stunt techniques they were going to use in order to simulate the impact and thus avoid maiming Alan. I say ‘secret’, because when I walked over and asked Bronco how on earth they were going to do it, he said, ‘Ah, it’ll be grand, Lissa.’
The moment came. Alan, in his grey wig, stood ready, holding a putter. The camera rolled, the clapper snapped, the first AD called ‘Action!’, and Bronco drove the car straight across the green and knocked Alan over. Everyone screamed in shock and Alan got up and rubbed his leg. That was it, apparently – that