YAN LIANKE Yan Lianke was born in 1958 in Henan Province, China. His novels and short-story collections include Serve the People!, Dream of Ding Village, Lenin’s Kisses, The Four Books, The Explosion Chronicles and The Day the Sun Died, and he is also the author of the memoir Three Brothers. He has been awarded the Hua Zhong World Chinese Literature Prize, the Lao She Literary Award and the Franz Kafka Prize. He has also been shortlisted for the International Man Booker Prize, the Principe de Asturias Prize for Letters, the Independent Foreign Fiction Prize and the prix Femina Étranger. The Day the Sun Died won the Dream of the Red Chamber Award for the World’s Most Distinguished Novel in Chinese. He lives and writes in Beijing. Yan Lianke’s cover artwork features the work of leading contemporary Chinese artists. Turn to the final pages to learn more about them.
ALSO BY YAN LIANKE
Three Brothers The Day the Sun Died The Years, Months, Days The Explosion Chronicles The Four Books Lenin’s Kisses Dream of Ding Village Serve the People!
YAN LIANKE YAN LIANKE
HARD LIKE LIANKE WATER HARDYAN LIKE A Novel WATER Hard Like Water A Novel
TRANSLATED FROM THE CHINESE BY
Translated from the Chinese Carlos Rojas by Carlos Rojas Translated from the Chinese by Carlos Rojas
Grove Press New York Grove Press New York
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 Vintage is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
Copyright © Yan Lianke 2021 Translation copyright © Carlos Rojas 2021 Yan Lianke has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 Carlos Rojas has asserted his right to be identified as the translator of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 First published in Vintage in 2022 First published in the United Kingdom in hardback by Chatto & Windus in 2021 First published in the United States by Grove Press in 2021 First published in China as Jianying ru shui by Changjiang Art and Literature Press in 2001 and in Taiwan by Rye Field in 2009
This book has been selected to receive financial assistance from English PEN’s ‘PEN Translates!’ programme, supported by Arts Council England. English PEN exists to promote literature and our understanding of it, to uphold writers’ freedoms around the world, to campaign against the persecution and imprisonment of writers for stating their views, and to promote the friendly co-operation of writers and the free exchange of ideas. www.englishpen.org penguin.co.uk/vintage A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 9781529110937 Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A. The authorised representative in the EEA is Penguin Random House Ireland, Morrison Chambers, 32 Nassau Street, Dublin D02 YH68 Penguin Random House is committed to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet. This book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper.
HARD HARD LIKE LIKE WATER WATER
Chapter Chapter11
Encountering EncounteringRevolution Revolution
1.1.Using Usingthe theReputation Reputationofofthe theRevolution Revolution After AfterI die I dieand andthings thingssettle settledown, down,I’llI’llreevaluate reevaluatemy mylife, life,and andspespecifically cificallythe thecracks cracksbetween betweenmy myspeech, speech,behavior, behavior,posture, posture,and andmy my chickenshit chickenshitlove. love.That That“tender “tenderland” land”will willbebeananexcellent excellentplace placetoto reflect reflectononlife, life,with withbeautiful beautifuldrifting driftingcatkins catkinsand andbright brightpeach peachblosblossoms. soms.Right Rightnow, now,however, however,they theyhave havetaken takenthe themuzzle muzzleofofa aloaded loaded gun gunand andplaced placedit itagainst againstthe theback backofofmy myhead, head,invoking invokingthe thereputareputation tionofofthe therevolution. revolution.With Withdeath deathlodged lodgedininmy mythroat, throat,I have I havenono choice choicebut buttotosoon soonproceed proceedtotothe theexecution executionground groundand andwait waitforforthe the bullet. bullet.Laughing Laughingatatthe theprospect prospectofofdeath, death,I’m I’mprepared preparedtotocross crossthe the bridge bridgethat thatleads leadstotothe theunderworld. underworld.Prior Priortotothetheexecution, execution,I drank I dranka a bowl bowlofofwine, wine,and anddiddidnot notfeel feela atrace traceofofresentment. resentment.Hatoyama Hatoyamaprepared prepared a banquet a banquetforforme, me,with withtententhousand thousandcups. cups.Revolution Revolutionmust mustbebelike likethis. this. I’llI’lllaylaydown downmy mylife lifeininbattle, battle,shattering shatteringmy mybones, bones,scattering scatteringmy my blood, blood,and anddestroying destroyingmy mybody bodyand andmy myspirit. spirit.InInthree threedays daysororatat most mosta week, a week,Hongmei Hongmeiand andI will I willboth bothbebestanding standingononthe theexecution execution ground, ground,next nexttotothe theriver riverthat thatruns runspast pastthe thebase baseofofthe themountain. mountain. We’ll We’llboth bothbebewearing wearinghandcuffs handcuffsasaswewekneel kneelatatthe theedge edgeofofthe thepit, pit, after afterwhich whichwe’ll we’llreturn returntotoour ourtender tenderland. land.Our Ourremaining remainingtime timeis is
like likethe thefinal finaldrops dropsofofwater waterinina Shangganling a Shangganlingwater waterkettle, kettle,each eachdrop drop asasprecious preciousasasa ajewel. jewel.My Mylife’ life’ s furnace s furnaceis isabout abouttotobebeextinguished, extinguished, a afurnace furnacethat thatignited ignitedmountains mountainsand andrivers, rivers,streams streamsand andgullies, gullies, and andthe theentire entireland. land.It Itignited ignitedthe theairairand andforests, forests,water waterand andwomen, women, animals animalsand androcks, rocks,grass grassand andfootsteps, footsteps,crops cropsand andmen, men,the theseasons seasons and androads, roads,asaswell wellasaswomen’ women’ s wombs, s wombs,hair, hair,lips, lips,and andclothing. clothing.The The spring springriver riverwater waterflows flowswest, west,asasthetheeast eastand andwest westwinds windsengage engageininfierce fierce battle. battle.Mother, Mother,mother—after mother—afteryour yourson sondies, dies,please pleasearrange arrangeforforhishis grave gravetotoface faceeast, east,sosothat thathehemay mayview viewthe thetown townofofChenggang. Chenggang.
2.2.Painfully PainfullyRecounting Recountingthe theRevolution’s Revolution’sGenealogy Genealogy Let Letme mepainfully painfullyrelate relatethe thestory storyofofa arevolutionary revolutionaryfamily family. .. .. . It Itwas wasthe thefirst firstlunar lunarmonth monthofof1942, 1942,and andafter aftera adog dogbarked barkedatat night nightininthe thetown townofofChenggang Chenggangininthe theBalou BalouMountains, Mountains,the theJapanese Japanese emerged emergedfrom fromthe thevillage, village,having havinggleefully gleefullyslaughtered slaughteredthe thelocal localmen. men. The Thetown towntherefore thereforefound founditself itselfwith witha adearth dearthofofmen menand anda asurfeit surfeit ofofwidows. widows.That Thatwas wasthe thenight nightmy myfather fatherdied, died,and andI was I wasborn. born.On On that thatnight, night,there therewas wasa afoul foulwind windand anda ablood-colored blood-coloredrain rainthat thatfell fell together togetherwith withbone-white bone-whitedragon dragonscales. scales.My Myfather fatherstepped steppedout outofof hishishouse housetotosummon summonthe themidwife, midwife,but butwhen whenhehereached reachedthe thetown town entrance entrancea aJapanese Japanesedevil devilstabbed stabbedhim himwith witha abayonet. bayonet.My Myfather’ father’ ss intestines intestinespoured pouredout outofofhishisabdomen, abdomen,engulfing engulfingthe thebayonet, bayonet,soaksoaking ingthe thesoil soilofofour ourhomeland, homeland,and andigniting ignitingthe thevengeful vengefulanger angerofofour our People People. .. .. . Comrades, Comrades,dear dearcomrades! comrades!We Wewere wereonce onceblood-red blood-redrevolurevolutionaries, tionaries,and andresistors resistorsininclass classwarfare. warfare.Hey, Hey,could couldyou youplease pleasenot not interrupt interruptme? me?I am I aminvoking invokingmy myidentity identityasasa member a memberofofthe theChinese Chinese Communist CommunistParty Partytotorequest requestthat thatyou younot notinterrupt interruptme meand andthat thatyou you letletme mepainfully painfullyrecount recountmy myfamily familyhistory. history. If Ifyou youask askme metotorecount recountmy mystory, story,I Ihave havenonochoice choicebut buttoto tell tellit itlike likethis. this.Only Onlyininthis thisway waywill willI Ibebeable abletotomake makemy myway way out outofofthe themess messininwhich whichI currently I currentlyfind findmyself myself. .. .. Dragons . Dragonsbeget beget 22
dragons, dragons,phoenixes phoenixesbeget begetphoenixes, phoenixes,and andmy myrevolutionary revolutionaryenergy energy has hasnever neverflagged. flagged.I was I wasborn borninto intothe theold oldsociety societybut butgrew grewupupunder under the thered redflag, flag,having havingbeen beennursed nursedononthe thesun’ sun’ s rays. s rays.InIn1964, 1964,when whenI I was wastwenty-two, twenty-two,I decided I decidedtotocontinue continuethe thework workofofthe therevolutionrevolutionary arymartyrs martyrsand andjoined joinedthe thearmy. army.The Thearmy armydivision divisionI joined I joinedwas was devoted devotedtotocapital capitalconstruction constructionprojects—digging projects—diggingtunnels tunnelsthrough through mountains mountainsand andvalleys, valleys,building buildingrailroads railroadsunder undersun sunand andrain. rain.With With lofty loftyambitions, ambitions,wewebattled battledheaven heavenand andearth, earth,and andwith withgreat greataspiaspirations, rations,wewesought soughttotomake makeour ourvision visionofofour ourmotherland motherlanda areality. reality. Over Overthe thenext nextthree threeyears, years,I followed I followedthe thearmy armyregiment regimentthrough through three threeprovinces provincesand andnine ninecounties, counties,and andwas wasawarded awardedfour fourthird-class third-class merit meritbadges, badges,five fivecompany-level company-levelcommendations, commendations,and andsixsixbattalionbattalionlevel levelcommendations. commendations.My Mydossier dossierbecame becamesosofull fullofofthese thesecertificates certificates that thatthere therewasn’t wasn’troom roomleft leftforforeven evena afart. fart.The Therevolutionary revolutionaryarmy army was wasa alarge largeschool, school,and andI was I wasoriginally originallya acadre cadresprout sproutsupported supported bybythe thecompany companyand andthe thebattalion. battalion.If IfI had I hadcontinued continuedtotoadvance advance ininstatus, status,I’m I’msure surethat thatbybynow nowI would I wouldalready alreadybebea abattalion battalioncomcommander manderorordeputy deputycommander, commander,and andI wouldn’t I wouldn’tneed needtotoask askyou youtoto post postmy mycourt courtjudgment judgmentand andHongmei’ Hongmei’ s notice s noticeallallover overChenggang. Chenggang. I know I knowthat thatthroughout throughoutthe thetown townthere therewill willbebeflyers flyersannouncing announcing my myexecution—in execution—inallallofofChenggang’ Chenggang’ s streets s streetsand andalleys, alleys,ononallallofofitsits walls wallsand andtrees, trees,and andononallallofofitsitswell wellplatforms platformsand andmill millhouses. houses.The The announcements announcementswill willappear appeareverywhere everywherethere thereare arepeople peopleand andwill will bebeasasabundant abundantasasfunereal funerealspirit spiritmoney, money,fluttering flutteringininthe thewind windand and blanketing blanketingthe theground. ground. Heaven, Heaven,ohohheaven! heaven!Earth, Earth,ohohearth! earth!This Thisjoke jokeis isasasvast vastasas heaven heavenand andearth! earth! I hadn’t I hadn’tever everexpected expectedthat thatthe thesun suncould couldrush rushacross acrossthe thesky sky from fromwest westtotoeast. east. Had HadI known I knownsuch sucha athing thingcould couldhappen, happen,I definitely I definitelywould would have havefigured figuredout outa away waytotoremain remainininthe thearmy. army.Regiment Regiment80911 80911had had wanted wantedtotoenlist enlistme. me.InInthe thegreat greatyear yearofof1967, 1967,our ouroriginal originalregiment regiment enlisted enlistedsoldiers soldiersfrom fromallallover overthe thecountry, country,and andeveryone everyonemarched marched 33
together, together,with witha acommon commongoal goaland anda ashared sharedobjective. objective.But Butasaswewe attempted attemptedtotoimplement implementcommunism communismand andcreate createa aunified unifiedfuture, future, this thisunity unityfell fellapart, apart,and andpart partofofour ourregiment regimentwas wasreconstituted reconstitutedinto into what whatbecame becameRegiment Regiment80911. 80911.However, However,rather ratherthan thanenlisting enlistingininthe the new newregiment, regiment,I instead I insteadasked askedtotobebedemobilized. demobilized.My Mycommanding commanding officer officersaid, said,“Private “PrivateGao GaoAijun, Aijun,if ifyou youtransfer transfertotoRegiment Regiment80911 80911 and andcontinue continuethere, there,you’ll you’lleventually eventuallybebepromoted promotedtotothe thelevel levelofof cadre.” cadre.”I replied, I replied,“I“Iwant wanttotoreturn returnhome homeand andpursue pursuethe therevolution revolution from fromthere.” there.”I was I wasdone donewith withthe thearmy. army.For Forthe thepast pastfour fouryears, years,I’dI’d been beendigging diggingditches, ditches,placing placingexplosives, explosives,and andbuilding buildinga arailroad railroad that thatwould wouldone oneday dayextend extendallallthe theway waytotothe thenext nextprovince. province.But But every everytime timewewehad hada apersonnel personnelshift, shift,wewealways alwayshad hadtotoperform performa a quick quickmarch marchand anddepart. depart.When Whenwewewere werebuilding buildinga agreat greatand andgloriglorious ousrailroad railroadtotoprotect protectthe thenation, nation,I spent I spenttwenty twentymonths monthsdigging digginga a tunnel tunnelthrough throughthe themountains mountains —for —forthose thosetwenty twentymonths monthsI didn’t I didn’tsee see anyone, anyone,couldn’t couldn’treturn returntotomy myhometown, hometown,nor nordid didI even I evengogototothe the market. market.For Forthose thosetwenty twentymonths monthsI didn’t I didn’teven evenonce oncesmell smellthe thescent scent ofofa awoman. woman.When Whenour ourregiment regimentfinally finallyemerged emergedfrom fromthat thattunnel, tunnel, wewesaw sawa marriage a marriageprocession processionpassing passingby,by,and andimmediately immediatelyour ourentire entire regiment regimentstood stoodatatattention, attention,everyone’ everyone’ s sgaze gazegiving givinga aloud loudcrackle. crackle. The Thenew newbride’ bride’ s sbeauty beautyradiated radiatedoutward outwardforforthousands thousandsofofmiles, miles, illuminating illuminatingthe thewhole wholeuniverse. universe.The Thesmell smellofofher herfragrance fragrancecaused caused the theregiment regimenttotocollapse, collapse,asasthough thoughit itwere weredeadly deadlypoison. poison.After Afterwewe reached reachedour ourdestination, destination,the themilitary militarysupervisor supervisorand andcompany companyleader leader told toldeveryone everyonetotoseize seizetheir theirspirit spiritininorder ordertotosearch searchforforflaws flawsand andtoto imprison imprisontheir theirthought thoughtininorder ordertotopursue pursuerevolution. revolution.We Wethen thenspent spent the thenext nexthalf halfmonth monthconsolidating consolidatingour ourspirit, spirit,purifying purifyingour ourhearts heartssoso they theybecame becamelike likesheets sheetsofofpaper paperononwhich whichone onecould coulddraw drawsomething something beautiful. beautiful.It Itwas wasprecisely preciselyasasmy myown ownheart heartwas wasbeing beingtransformed transformed into intoa sheet a sheetofofpaper paperthat thatI decided I decidedtotoleave leavethe thearmy. army.I decided I decidedthat that I had I hadalready alreadyspent spentenough enoughtime timeininthe theregiment, regiment,and andnow nowwanted wantedtoto return returnhome hometotopursue pursuerevolution. revolution.What Whatkind kindofofperson persondid didI want I want totobe? be?Did DidI want I wanttotobebeananhonest honestperson? person?ToTotell tellthe thetruth, truth,I missed I missed 44
my mywife wifeand andeven evenmissed missedmy mymother-in-law. mother-in-law.Needless Needlesstotosay, say,this this was wasa atragicomedy tragicomedycreated createdbybythe theregiment’ regiment’ s sunique uniquerevolutionary revolutionary conditions. conditions. My Mywife’ wife’ s sname namewas wasCheng ChengGuizhi, Guizhi,and andalthough althoughthe thename name Guizhi, Guizhi,meaning meaning“cassia “cassiatwig,” twig,”sounds soundsvery verytraditional traditionaland andrefined, refined, my mywife wifewas wasactually actuallyallallwoman—with woman—witha woman’ a woman’ s body s bodyand anda woma woman’an’ s sface. face.The Therosy rosytint tintbehind behindthe theblackness blacknessofofher herface faceand andbody body was wasthe thesame samecolor colorasasthe thecover coverofofChairman ChairmanMao’s Mao’sQuotations. Quotations.She She was wasofofaverage averageheight, height,with witha pudgy a pudgyphysique, physique,and andwhen whenshe shewalked walked her herbutt buttswayed swayedback backand andforth forthasasthough thoughher herbloated bloatedflesh fleshwere were attempting attemptingtotoliberate liberateitself itselfand andreach reachthe theblue bluesky. sky.Those Thoseofofyou youwho who are arefamiliar familiarwith withthe thetown townofofChenggang Chenggangwill willalready alreadyhave haveheard heardofof her. her.Her Herfather fatherwas wasthe thefirst firstParty Partysecretary secretaryofofNew NewChina Chinafollowing following Liberation, Liberation,and andit itwas wasprecisely preciselybecause becausehehewas wasParty Partysecretary secretarythat that I married I marriedhishisdaughter. daughter.Before BeforeI joined I joinedthe thearmy, army,Guizhi Guizhigave gavebirth birth totoour ourson, son,and andthe thefollowing followingyear yearshe shereturned returnedtotovisit visither herrelatives relatives ininthe themountains mountainsalong alongthe theHenan-Hubei Henan-Hubeiborder. border.AtAtthat thattime, time,our our regiment regimentwas wasdigging digginga tunnel a tunnelunder underPeak PeakNo. No.2 2(excavating (excavatingdeeply, deeply, accumulating accumulatinggrain, grain,never neverseeking seekinghegemony) hegemony)forforpotential potentialwar warpreppreparations. arations.One Oneday, day,I was I waspushing pushingballast ballastinside insidethe thetunnel, tunnel,when whena a new newrecruit recruitrushed rushedininwaving wavinga apickax pickaxand andshouted, shouted,“Gao “GaoAijun, Aijun, a awoman womanasaslarge largeasasa awater waterbarrel barrelis isoutside outsidelooking lookingforforyou—” you—”I I kicked kickedthe thesoldier soldierand andreplied, replied,“You “Youmust mustremain remainunited unitedand andalert, alert, solemn solemnand andlively.” lively.”The Thesoldier soldierreplied, replied,“If“Ifyou youhave havea afriend friendafar afarwho who knows knowsyour yourheart, heart,then theneven evena vast a vastdistance distancecan’t can’tkeep keepyou youapart apart. .. .. The . The woman womanwaiting waitingoutside outsideclaims claimsthat thatyou youare areher herhusband.” husband.” I stared I staredininshock, shock,then thenstumbled stumbledout outofofthe thetunnel. tunnel. It Itturned turnedout outthat thatthe thewoman womanininquestion questionwas wasininfact factmy mywife, wife, Guizhi. Guizhi. That Thatnight nightI slept I sleptwith withGuizhi Guizhiininthe theregiment’ regiment’ s reception s receptionroom. room. That Thatwas wasa atent tentthat thatwas wasonly onlyhalf halfasaslarge largeasasthis thisroom. room.On Onallallfour four sides sidesthere therewere werewalls wallsmade madefrom frombricks brickspiled piledasashigh highasasa aperson, person, over overwhich whichthere therewas wasa tarp. a tarp.Chairman ChairmanMao’ Mao’ s poster s posterwas washanging hangingonon 55
the thewall, wall,and andthere therewere wereseveral severalcopies copiesofofhishisbooks booksononthe theshelves. shelves. The Theposter posterwas waspositioned positioneddirectly directlyover overthe thebed, bed,such suchthat thatChairChairman manMao Maowas wasable abletotokeep keepwatch watchover overallallthe therelatives relativesand andchildren children who whocame cametotovisit visitthe theregiment. regiment.Guizhi, Guizhi,however, however,didn’t didn’tbring bringour our son, son,Hongsheng, Hongsheng,with withher; her;instead insteadshe shecame camealone. alone.It Itwas wasa few a fewdays days before beforethe thedecisive decisiveNational NationalDay Dayconstruction constructionbattle, battle,and andI Isaid, said, “We’re “We’revery verybusy busyright rightnow, now,why whyhave haveyou youcome?” come?”She Shereplied, replied,“The “The wheat wheathas hasbeen beenharvested, harvested,the theautumn autumngrain grainhas hasbeen beensowed, sowed,and and currently currentlythere thereis isnothing nothingforforme metotododoatathome. home.If IfI didn’t I didn’tcome comenow, now, when whenwould wouldI?”I?”I said, I said,“Preparations “Preparationsforforthe thedefensive defensivebattle battlehave have reached reacheda acritical criticaljuncture.” juncture.”She Shesaid, said,“Hongsheng “Hongshengis istwo twoyears yearsold old and andcan canalready alreadyrun runaround.” around.”I said, I said,“Your “Yourcoming cominghere herehas hasmade made me melose loseface. face.Just Justlook lookatatyou!” you!”She Sheglanced glanceddown downatather hernew newblue blue shirt, shirt,with withitsitslarge largecollar collarand andcoarse coarsefabric, fabric,and andafter aftera moment a momentbegan began totounfasten unfastenthe thebuttons buttonsshe shehad hadsewn sewnherself. herself.She Sheasked, asked,“Don’t “Don’tallall peasants peasantslook looklike likethis?” this?”Then Thenshe sheadded, added,“Now “Nowthat thatHongsheng Hongshengis is already alreadytwo, two,I’ve I’vedecided decidedI want I wanttotogetgetpregnant pregnantagain, again,because becauseI want I want a adaughter. daughter.That’ That’ s why s whyI rushed I rushedover overhere herebybytrain trainand andbybycar cartotosee see you.” you.”She Sheexplained explainedthat thatshe shehad hadhad hadananarduous arduousjourney, journey,because because she shehad hadaccidentally accidentallytaken takenthe thewrong wrongtrain trainand andended endedupuphaving havingtoto spend spendthe thenight nightononthe thefloor floorofofa atrain trainstation. station.Fortunately, Fortunately,she shewas was equipped equippedwith witha amouth mouthand andtherefore thereforeininthe theend endwas wasable abletotosucsuccessfully cessfullymake makeher herway wayhere. here.She Shesaid saidthat thathad hadit itnot notbeen beenforforher her determination determinationtotohave havea daughter a daughterininaddition additiontotoa son, a son,she sheprobably probably couldn’t couldn’thave havefound foundthe theregiment regimenteven evenif ifher herlife lifedepended dependedononit,it,and and thus thuswouldn’t wouldn’thave havegiven givenme methe theopportunity opportunitytotolose loseface. face.She Sheasked asked if ifI resented I resentedher herforforbeing beingugly, ugly,and andif ifso,so,then thenwhy whyhad hadI proposed I proposedtoto her herininthe thefirst firstplace? place?She Sheasked askedwhy, why,if ifI found I foundher hersosounattractive, unattractive, did didI impregnate I impregnateher herwith withHongsheng? Hongsheng? AsAsshe shewas wasspeaking, speaking,she sheproceeded proceededtotoremove removeher herclothes, clothes, then thensatsatdown downononthe theside sideofofthe thebed. bed.The Theroom roomwas wasilluminated illuminatedbyby a thirty-five-watt a thirty-five-wattlight lightbulb bulbthat thatproduced produceda light a lightwith witha golden a goldentint, tint, and andwhen whenit itshone shoneononher herit itappeared appearedtotoenvelop envelopher hercorpulent corpulentbody body 66
inina adark darkred redglow. glow.The Theroom roomwas wasperfused perfusedwith witha afeminine femininescent, scent, like likea apink pinkmist. mist.I longed I longedtotostare stareatather hernaked nakedbody. body.ByBythat thatpoint point I had I hadalready alreadybeen beenininthe thearmy armyforfortwo twoyears, years,and andbefore beforeI knew I knew it,it,my myson sonwas wasalready alreadytwo twoyears yearsold. old.I suddenly I suddenlyrealized realizedthat thatmy my memory memoryofofGuizhi’ Guizhi’ s naked s nakedfigure figurehad hadgrown grownhazy, hazy,totothe thepoint pointthat thatI I had hadalmost almostforgotten forgottenwhat whatshe sheeven evenlooked lookedlike. like.I tore I toremy mygaze gazeaway away from fromher, her,but butshe shecontinued continuedsitting sittingononthe theedge edgeofofthe thebed bedforfora while, a while, then thenpulled pulledback backthe thesheets sheetsand andcrawled crawledunder underthem. them.AsAsshe shedid didso,so, my myblood bloodbegin begintotoboil, boil,and andmy mythroat throatbecame becameasasdry dryasaskindling kindling left leftout outininthe thesun sunforforthree threeyears. years.ToTomy mysurprise, surprise,I found I foundthat thather her breasts breastswere wereasaslarge largeand andwhite whiteasasa apair pairofofsheep sheepheads, heads,and andasasshe she was waslifting liftingupupthe thesheets, sheets,they theyswayed swayedback backand andforth, forth,flashing flashinga pair a pair ofofhot hotred redlights. lights.AsAsher herbreasts breastswere werecovered coveredbybythe thesheets, sheets,I was I was reminded remindedofofhow, how,when whenI was I wasyoung youngand andworking workingasasa shepherd, a shepherd,the the sheep sheepwould wouldoften oftenrun runthrough throughtall tallgrass, grass,and andwhen whenthey theyjumped jumpedup, up, their theirheads headswould wouldbriefly brieflyemerge emergebefore beforefalling fallingback backinto intothe thegrass. grass. Guizhi’ Guizhi’ s breasts s breastssurely surelyhadn’t hadn’talways alwaysbeen beenthis thislarge, large,and andI rememI remembered beredhow, how,when whenshe shefailed failedtotoproduce produceenough enoughmilk milkafter aftergiving givingbirth birth totoHongsheng, Hongsheng,I’dI’dhad hadtotogogodown downtotothe theriver rivertotocatch catchsome somefish fishforfor her hertotoeat. eat.What Whathad hadher herbreasts breastsbeen beenlike likeatatthat thattime? time?It Itwas waslike like when whenyou youpick pickout outthe thebest bestflour, flour,then thenuse usewhat whatis isleft leftover overtotomake make some somesteamed steamedbuns—although buns—althoughthe thelatter latteris isstill stillwhite whiteflour, flour,beneath beneath that thatwhiteness whitenessthere therewill willinevitably inevitablybebea layer a layerofofblackness. blackness.How Howwas was it itthat thather herbreasts breastshad hadbecome becomesosolarge largeand andsosowhite? white?How Howwas wasit itthat that she shenow nowhad hadtwo twoengorged engorgedsheep sheepheads headsforforbreasts? breasts? I asked, I asked,“Guizhi, “Guizhi,is isHongsheng Hongshengstill stillnursing?” nursing?” She Sheturned turnedand andsaid, said,“Of “Ofcourse. course.Even Evenif ifI were I weretotosmear smearmy my nipples nippleswith withchili chilisauce, sauce,hehewould wouldstill stillnurse.” nurse.” I Ithen thenfelt feltI Iunderstood understoodwhy whyher herbreasts breastswere weresosoengorged, engorged, asasseductive seductiveasassheep sheepheads. heads.I said, I said,“Do “Doyou youwant wanttotoget getpregnant pregnant again?” again?” She Shereplied, replied,“If“IfI didn’t I didn’twant wanttotoget getpregnant pregnantagain, again,why whydodoyou you think thinkI would I wouldhave havetraveled traveledthousands thousandsofofli litotocome comehere?” here?” 77
I Ibegan begantotoremove removemy myclothes. clothes.If IfI Itugged tuggedatatthe thebottom bottomofof my mymilitary militarycoat, coat,I Icould couldunfasten unfastenfive fivebuttons buttonsatatonce, once,asaseasily easily asasunzipping unzippinga azipper. zipper.That Thatwas wasone oneofofthe thefirst firstlessons lessonsthat thata anew new recruit recruithad hadtotolearn, learn,sosothat thatwhen whendefending defendingagainst againsta asneak sneakattack attack bybyAmerican Americanimperialists imperialistsororSoviet Sovietrevisionists, revisionists,soldiers soldierswould wouldbebe able abletotoinstantly instantlygogototosleep sleepand andinstantly instantlyget getupupagain. again.I stripped I stripped offoffmy myclothes, clothes,and andasasI was I wasdiving divinginto intobed, bed,Guizhi Guizhisuddenly suddenlysatsatupup and andturned turnedoffoffthe thelight. light.Just Justasasshe shewas wasdoing doingso,so,that thatpair pairofofsheep sheep heads headspoked pokedupupagain againthrough throughthe thegrass, grass,and andmy myhands handsreached reachedout out asasthough thoughI were I weretrying tryingtotograb grabone. one.Afterward, Afterward,however, however,I didn’t I didn’t immediately immediatelydodoit itwith withher. her.After Afterall, all,I was I washer herhusband, husband,and andshe she was wasmy mywife. wife.Our Ourbright brightred redand andresplendently resplendentlyluminous luminousmarriage marriage certificate certificateguaranteed guaranteedour ourright righttotobear bearchildren childrenand andenjoy enjoyconjugal conjugal pleasures. pleasures.However, However,I hadn’t I hadn’ttouched toucheda awoman womanforfortwo twoyears, years,totothe the point pointthat thatI had I hadvirtually virtuallyforgotten forgottenwhat whata woman a womanfelt feltlike, like,and andtheretherefore foreI first I firstneeded neededtotocaress caressher herfrom fromhead headtototoe. toe.I caressed I caressedher herhair, hair, her herface, face,and andher hershoulders—which shoulders—whichwere werecalloused callousedfrom fromcarrying carryinga a shoulder shoulderpail pailevery everyday. day.I caressed I caressedher herbreasts, breasts,which whichseemed seemedtotohave have become becomeeven evenmore moreengorged engorgedthan thanbefore, before,and andher herbelly, belly,which whichwas was asassoft softasascotton. cotton.She Shelaylaythere theremotionless, motionless,permitting permittingme metototouch touch and andkiss kissher—but her—butjust justasasmy mylips lipsand andhands handswere wereabout abouttotoreach reachher her lower lowerregions, regions,she sheexploded. exploded.Screaming Screamingasasthough thoughshe shehad hadsuddenly suddenly realized realizedthat thatthe theperson personlying lyingonontop topofofher herwas wasnot nother herhusband, husband,she she wriggled wriggledout outfrom frombeneath beneathme meand andturned turnedononthe thelight. light. She Sheleft leftme mesitting sittingininthe themiddle middleofofthe thebed, bed,with withhalf halfthe thebedbedsheets sheetsstill stillononthe thebed bedand andthe theother otherhalf halfononthe thefloor. floor. She Shesaid, said,“Gao “GaoAijun, Aijun,you youare area soldier a soldierininthe thePeople’ People’ s Liberation s Liberation Army, Army,and andthe theentire entirenation nationlooks lookstotoyou youasasa amodel. model.How Howis isit itthat that you youleave leavehome homeforfortwo twoyears yearsand andsuddenly suddenlybecome becomea ahooligan?!” hooligan?!” I stared I staredatather herininastonishment. astonishment. She Sheexclaimed, exclaimed,“If“Ifyou youwant wanttotoconceive conceivea achild, child,you youshould should gogoahead aheadand anddodoso.so.But Butwhy whyare areyou youfeeling feelingme meup? up?When Whenyou you touched touchedmy myhead headand andmy myface, face,I could I couldtolerate tolerateit,it,but butthen thenyou youbegan began 88
rubbing rubbingyour yourhands handsallallover overmy mylower lowerbody. body.What Whatare areyou, you,a soldier a soldier orora ahooligan?!” hooligan?!” The Thelamp lampininthe theroom roomwas wasasasbright brightasasthe thesun. sun.She Shestood stoodatat the thefoot footofofthe thebed, bed,her hercomplexion complexionasasgreen greenasasfresh freshvegetables. vegetables.The The room roomwas wasdrowned drownedininher herhumiliation. humiliation.I stared I staredatather herforfora moment, a moment, then thendeveloped developedananurge urgetotoget getdown downfrom fromthe thebed bedand andkick kickher. her.I I wanted wantedtotokick kickher hervoluptuous voluptuousbreasts breastsand andher herwide wideand andsoft softbelly. belly. InInthe theend, end,I didn’t I didn’tdodoso,so,and andinstead insteadsimply simplystared staredatather herforforwhat what seemed seemedlike likeananeternity. eternity.I felt I feltasasthough thoughI were I werechoking chokingononsomething something caught caughtininmy mythroat throatand andwas wassosodesperate desperateI wished I wishedI could I couldspit spitout out my myown owntongue. tongue.There Therewas wasa chill a chillininthe theair, air,and andeven eventhough thoughit itwas was still stillthe theninth ninthlunar lunarmonth, month,here hereininthe themountains mountainsit itgot gotsosocold coldatat night nightthat thatyou youwould wouldwake wakeupupfreezing. freezing.My Myfellow fellowsoldiers soldiersfrom from the theconstruction constructionregiment regimentwere weresleeping sleepinginina building a buildingseveral severaldozen dozen meters metersaway, away,and andthe thesound soundofofthe thesentries’ sentries’footsteps footstepsdrifted driftedover overlike like the thechopping choppingofofa aboat’ boat’ s oars s oarsononthe thesurface surfaceofofa alake. lake.I could I couldhear hear the thesentries sentrieschanging changingshift. shift.One Onesaid, said,“Password?” “Password?”The Theother otherreplied, replied, “Defeat “Defeatthe theAmerican Americanimperialists.” imperialists.”The Thefirst firstone onethen thenexhaled exhaledand and answered, answered,“Protect “Protectthe thehomeland.” homeland.”With Withthis, this,they theychanged changedshift, shift,and and the thenight nightreverted revertedback backtotodeep deepsilence. silence. AsAsI was I wasstaring staringatatmy mywife, wife,it itoccurred occurredtotome methat thatthis thiswould would bebeananopportunity opportunitytotokill killher. her.AtAtthat thatpoint, point,this thisidea ideawas wasstill stillvague vague and andinchoate, inchoate,but butit itwas wasthen thenthat thatthe theidea ideaofofkilling killingher herfirst firstbegan began totogerminate germinateininmy mymind. mind.InInthe theend, end,however, however,I remembered I rememberedI was I wasa a revolutionary revolutionaryhumanist, humanist,and andforfora long a longtime timeafterward afterwardI didn’t I didn’treturn return totothis thisthought. thought.That Thatnight, night,I grew I grewtired tiredofofstaring staringatather, her,asasI waited I waited until untilshe, she,too, too,had hadseen seenenough enoughofofme. me.Only Onlythen thendid didI pull I pullupupthe the sheets sheetsthat thathad hadfallen fallenoffoffthe thebed bedand andsay, say,gently, gently,“Go “Gototosleep, sleep,Guizhi. Guizhi. Tomorrow TomorrowI’llI’lltake takeyou youback backtotoChenggang.” Chenggang.” I didn’t I didn’teven eventouch touchher herfeet feetthat thatnight, night,despite despitethe thefact factthat thatwewe hadn’t hadn’tseen seeneach eachother otherforfortwo twoyears. years.But Butthe thenext nextday, day,I didn’t I didn’tsend sendher her offoffafter afterall, all,and andinstead insteadthe thefollowing followingnight nightI acceded I accededtotoher herrequest. request. She She wanted wanted toto getget pregnant, pregnant, soso I did I did asas she she asked asked and and got got her her pregnant. pregnant. 99
She Shesubsequently subsequentlygave gavebirth birthtotoa ababy babygirl girlnamed namedHonghua. Honghua.AtAtthis this point, point,you youmust musthave havenoticed noticedour ourfamily’ family’ s srevolutionary revolutionaryspirit? spirit?My My given givenname nameis isAijun, Aijun,meaning meaning“love “lovethe thearmy”; army”;my myson’ son’ s name s nameis isHongHongsheng, sheng,oror“born “bornred”; red”;and andmy mydaughter’ daughter’ s sname nameis isHonghua, Honghua,oror“red “red blossom.” blossom.”Ours Oursis istruly trulya arevolutionary revolutionaryfamily! family!InInfact, fact,my myfamily’ family’ ss political politicalstatus statuswas wassosoresplendent resplendentthat thatit itcould couldblind blindmany manyonlookers. onlookers. Our Our children’ children’ s grandfather s grandfather had had been been bayoneted bayoneted byby Japanese Japanese devils, devils, and and their theirfather fatherhad hadserved servedininthe thePeople’ People’ s Liberation s LiberationArmy. Army.Our Ourchildren, children, meanwhile, meanwhile,were wereborn bornunder underthe thered redflag, flag,grew grewupupunder underthe thered redflag, flag, and andshould shouldhave havebecome becomeexemplary exemplaryrevolutionary revolutionarysuccessors. successors.But Butfate fate had hadarranged arrangedforfortheir theirfather fathertotomeet meetXia XiaHongmei. Hongmei. It Itwas waslove loveand andrevolution revolutionthat thatwould wouldtake taketheir theirlives livesand andthe the life lifeofoftheir theirmother, mother,just justasasit itwas wasthe theJapanese Japanesewho whochopped choppedoffoffmy my father’ father’ s head s headand andhung hungit itfrom fromChenggang’ Chenggang’ s outer s outergates. gates.
3.3.Red RedMusic Music The TheBaiyun Baiyuncounty countytrain trainstation stationconsisted consistedofofa single a singletwo-story two-storybuildbuilding, ing,where wherea train a trainwould wouldstop stopforforjust justone oneminute minuteeach eachday. day.The Therailrailroad roadtracks, tracks,meanwhile, meanwhile,seemed seemedtotoextend extendforever foreverininboth bothdirections. directions. InInthe thefourth fourthlunar lunarmonth monthofofthat thatyear, year,our ourarmy armyregiment regimentdismissed dismissed and andreplaced replaceditsitsentire entirestaff staffforforpolitical politicalreasons, reasons,and andI was I wasdemobidemobilized. lized.Chenggang Chenggangwas waslocated locatedseventy-nine seventy-nineli lifrom fromthe thecounty countyseat, seat, and andI disembarked I disembarkedfrom fromthe thetrain trainjust justasasthe thesun sunwas wasabout abouttotoset. set.InIn order ordertotomake makeit ittotothe thePeople’ People’ s Armed s ArmedForces Forcesdepartment departmentthe thenext next day dayand andcomplete completethe therequisite requisitedemobilization demobilizationpaperwork, paperwork,I had I hadtoto stay stayovernight overnightininthe thecounty countyseat. seat.That Thatnight, night,just justasasthe thepolitical politicalsitusituation ationwas wastransforming transformingininsuch suchananextraordinary extraordinarymanner, manner,my mylove lovelife life reached reacheda anew newvista. vista.I was I wasilluminated illuminatedbybya agreat greatsunbeam sunbeamofoflove. love. You Youtell tellme: me:Was Wasthis thisnot notfate? fate?Was Wasthis thisnot notananexample exampleofofwhat whatis is often oftendescribed describedasasrevolution revolutionreaching reachinga acrucial crucialturning turningpoint? point? InInthe thecounty countyseat, seat,I Istayed stayedinina aguesthouse guesthouseatatthe thePeople’ People’ ss Armed ArmedForces Forcesdepartment. department.For Fortwenty twentycents, cents,you youcould couldrent renta room a room 1010
with witha asingle singlebed, bed,and andfifty-five fifty-fivecents centswould wouldget getyou youa alarger largerroom room with withfour fourbeds. beds.Generally Generallyspeaking, speaking,prices pricestend tendtotogogothrough throughthe the roof roofatatrevolutionary revolutionarymoments. moments.This Thisis isa ahistorical historicalrule. rule.However, However, given giventhat thatI had I hadcome cometotocomplete completemy mydemobilization demobilizationpaperwork, paperwork, regulations regulationsstipulated stipulatedthat thatI be I bepermitted permittedtotostay staythere thereforforfree. free.For For forty-five forty-fivecents, cents,I was I wasable abletotogogototoa astate-owned state-ownedcanteen canteenand andpurpurchase chasea abowl bowlofofmy myhometown’ hometown’ s mutton s muttonstew, stew,which whichI hadn’t I hadn’ttasted tasted forforthe thelongest longesttime, time,asaswell wellasasa abowl bowlofofbeef beefsoup soupand andtwo twobaked baked biscuits. biscuits.After AfterI had I hadsuccessfully successfullystuffed stuffedmy mybelly, belly,I saw I sawthat thatthe thesun sun hadn’t hadn’tfully fullysetsetyet, yet,and andtherefore—not therefore—nothaving havinganything anythingelse elsetotodo—I do—I proceeded proceededtotowander wanderaimlessly aimlesslythrough throughthe thestreets. streets.The Thecounty countyseat seat was wasnonolonger longerasasvibrant vibrantand andbustling bustlingasasit ithad hadbeen beenbefore beforeI joined I joined the thearmy. army.Light Lightfrom fromthe thesetting settingsun sunshone shonedown downononthe theshops’ shops’front front doors, doors,and andboth bothsides sidesofofthe thestreet streetwere werefilled filledwith witha clattering a clatteringsound. sound. Previously Previouslythere therehad hadbeen beenseveral severalfactories factoriesininthe thearea—including area—including a arope ropefactory, factory,a acork corkfactory, factory,and anda atextile textilefactory factorythat thatmade madegloves gloves forforallallthe theworkers workersininthe theother otherstate-run state-runfactories factoriesininthe thenearby nearbycity city ofofJiudu—but Jiudu—butnow nowbarely barelyanyone anyonecould couldbebeseen seennear nearthese thesebuildbuildings. ings.After Afterthe thefactories factoriesclosed closeddown, down,the theempty emptybuildings buildingsjust justsatsat there therewith withtheir theircourtyards courtyardsfull fullofoflogs logsand andrusting rustingiron, iron,like likewomen women who whohad haddied diedininchildbirth. childbirth.Yet Yetthe thecounty countyseat seatwas wasstill stillthe thecounty county seat, seat,and andthe thestreets streetsremained remainedasaswide wideasasbefore. before.The Theroads roadswere werestill still paved pavedininbrick, brick,and andsome someold oldpeople peoplecould couldstill stillbebeseen seenleisurely leisurely walking walkinghome homewith withbaskets basketsofofvegetables. vegetables.The Theonly onlydifference differencewas was that thatthe thewalls wallsononboth bothsides sidesofofthe thestreet streetwere werenow nowplastered plasteredwith with big-character big-characterposters postersfull fullofofpeople’ people’ s names s nameswith withred redXsXsover overthem. them. This Thiswas wasnot nota new a newsight sightforforme, me,and andinstead insteadit itsimply simplysignaled signaledthat that the therevolution revolutionhad hadalready alreadybegun beguntotogather gathermomentum momentumhere. here.Many Many young youngpeople peoplewearing wearingarmbands armbandsbrushed brushedpast pastme, me,asasthough thoughrushing rushing totoattend attenda meeting. a meeting.I was I wasenvious enviousofofthe thefact factthat thatthey theywere werefrom fromthe the city, city,and andregretted regrettedthat thatI wasn’t I wasn’tone oneofofthem. them.If Ifonly onlyI were I werethe theleader leader ofoftheir theirorganization! organization!If Ifonly onlythey theywere wereallallrushing rushingtotohear hearmemelecture lecture about aboutthe therevolution! revolution!I watched I watchedas,as,one oneafter afteranother, another,they theyrushed rushed 1111
past pastme—and me—andasasthey theydid, did,I saw I sawhow howtheir theireyes eyeswould wouldlinger lingerononme. me.I I knew knewthey theywere wereenvious enviousofofmy mygreen greenarmy armycoat, coat,and andI was I wasconcerned concerned that thatone oneofofthem themmight mightripripoffoffmy mycoat coatororgrab grabmy myhat. hat.I didn’t I didn’tstay stay ininthe thestreet streetforforvery verylong longand andinstead insteadslowly slowlyheaded headedout outofoftown. town. I followed I followedthe thetrain traintracks trackslike likethe thehero heroofofa revolutionary a revolutionaryepic. epic. The Thescenery scenerywas wasquite quitebeautiful, beautiful,with witha high a highsky skyand andsparse sparseclouds. clouds. There Therewere werenonogeese geeseflying flyingsouth, south,and andininthe thetwilight, twilight,cattle cattlewere were feeding feedingfrom fromtheir theirtroughs. troughs.AnAnold oldman manwas wasleading leadingsome somesheep sheepover over from fromthe therailroad railroadtracks, tracks,and andasashehecame cameover overfrom fromthe thevast vastwheat wheat fields, fields,the thebleating bleatingofofsheep sheepresonated resonatedininmy myears earslike likea asong. song.The The county countyseat seatgrew grewincreasingly increasinglydistant, distant,even evenasasthe thesetting settingsun sungrew grew increasingly increasinglyclose. close.AsAsthe thebright brightred redsunrays sunraysshone shonedown downononthe the railroad railroadtracks, tracks,they theymade madea asound soundlike likewater waterdripping drippingonto ontosand. sand.I I walked walkedalong alongthe thetracks tracksuntil, until,ininmy mylonely lonelyand anduncultivated uncultivatedheart, heart, I heard I heardthat thatsound soundofofloneliness lonelinessgrowing growinglouder louderand andlouder, louder,and andI I abruptly abruptlycame cametotoa ahalt. halt. I saw I sawthat thatsomeone someonewas wassitting sittingononthe thetrain traintracks tracksininfront frontofofme. me. Her Herface facewas wasasasrosy rosyasasa amorning morningsun, sun,and andher herjet-black jet-blackhair hairhung hung down downover overher herpink pinkblouse. blouse.InInthe thedistance distancewere wereblack blacktrees treesand andlight light green greencrops, crops,and andthe thesmell smellofofdirt, dirt,grass, grass,and andwheat wheatdrifted driftedover overfrom from the thefield fieldatatthe thebase baseofofthe thehills. hills.AtAtfirst firstI saw I sawonly onlya figure a figuresitting sittingonon the thetracks; tracks;it itwas wasonly onlyafter aftertaking takingseveral severalsteps stepsforward forwardthat thatI was I was able abletotomake makeout outher herlong longhair hairand andwomen’ women’ s clothing. s clothing.When WhenI realI realized izedit itwasn’t wasn’ta aman, man,I hesitated I hesitatedforfora amoment momentbefore beforeapproaching. approaching. Chairman ChairmanMao Maofamously famouslysaid saidthat thatwomen womenhold holdupuphalf halfthe thesky, sky,but but now nowI realized I realizedthat thatit itmust musthave havebeen beenprecisely preciselyininorder ordertotowait waitforfor me methat thatshe shehad hadbeen beensitting sittingthere thereholding holdingupuphalf halfthe thesky skyallallday. day. She Shemust musthave havebeen beenwaiting waitingforforme. me.I walked I walkedtoward towardher, her,and andshe she turned turnedtotome. me.I was I wasstartled startledbybyher herexpression, expression,which whichresembled resembledthe the expression expressiongirls girlshave havewhen whenthey theyfeel feelignored. ignored.It Itwas wasasasthough thoughjust justa a few fewdays daysearlier earliershe shehad hadbeen beensoft softand anddelicate—like delicate—likea vine-ripened a vine-ripened fruit fruitthat thataccidentally accidentallygot gotcrushed crushedwhen whensomeone someonetried triedtotopick pickit.it.Her Her face facehad hadananexhausted exhaustedpallor. pallor.I could I couldsee seethat thatshe shewas wasfrom fromeither either 1212
the thecity cityororthe thesuburbs, suburbs,given giventhat thatshe shewas waswearing wearinga apink pinkblouse blouse made madefrom froma synthetic a syntheticfabric fabricthat thatyou youwouldn’t wouldn’tfind findininrural ruralareas areasatat that thattime. time.I stood I stooda ameter meterororsosoininfront frontofofher herand andnoticed noticedshe shewas was staring staringintently intentlyatatme. me. She Shewas wasstaring staringatatmy mynew newarmy armycoat. coat. I noticed I noticedshe shewas waswearing wearinga apair pairofofimitation imitationarmy armypants. pants. She Shesaid, said,“We “Weshould shouldlearn learnfrom fromour ourPeople’ People’ s Liberation s LiberationArmy Army comrades.” comrades.” I replied, I replied,“PLA “PLAsoldiers soldiersmust mustlearn learnfrom fromallallthe thenation’ nation’ s citizens. s citizens. I’ve I’vealready alreadybeen beendemobilized demobilizedbut buthaven’t haven’tcompleted completedthe thepaperwork paperwork yet.” yet.” She Shesaid, said,“If“Ifyou youhaven’t haven’tcompleted completedthe thepaperwork, paperwork,then thenyou you are arestill stilla aPLA PLAsoldier.” soldier.” I hadn’t I hadn’texpected expectedthat thatshe shewould wouldgush gushwith withrespect respectforforme meororthat that she shewould wouldtreat treatme measasa amodel modelforforthe theentire entirenation nationtotoemulate. emulate.I sat I sat down downononthe thetracks tracksacross acrossfrom fromher—facing her—facingher herthe theway wayI would I wouldface face our ourpolitical politicalinstructor instructorwhen whenhehecame cametotoaddress addressusussoldiers soldiersininthe the army. army. I replied I replied that that wewe had had already already eliminated eliminated allall the the enemies enemies wewe could could see, see,but butperhaps perhapsthere therestill stillremained remainedsome somewewecouldn’t couldn’tsee? see?I asked I askedher her if ifshe shewasn’t wasn’tafraid, afraid,sitting sittinghere hereallallalone? alone?She Shereplied repliedthat thatheaven heavenis isthe the People’ People’ s heaven, s heaven,and andthe theearth earthis isthe thePeople’ People’ s earth, s earth,sosowhat whatwas wasthere there forforher hertotobebeafraid afraidof?of?AsAslong longasasthe theAmerican Americanimperialists imperialistsand andSoviet Soviet revisionists revisionistsdon’t don’tinvade, invade,what whatis isthere theretotofear? fear?I replied I repliedthat thateven evenif if American Americanimperialists imperialistsand andSoviet Sovietrevisionists revisionistswere weretotoinvade, invade,I still I still wouldn’t wouldn’tbebeafraid—because afraid—becausewhen whenfaced facedwith withour ourPeople’ People’ s Liberation s Liberation Army, Army,the theAmericans Americansand andSoviets Sovietswere werebut butpaper papertigers. tigers.Then ThenI waited I waited forforher hertotoask askme memy myname, name,where whereI lived, I lived,and andininwhich whichregiment regimentI had I had been beenstationed, stationed,after afterwhich whichI would I wouldreciprocate reciprocatebybyasking askingher hername name and andwhere whereshe sheworked. worked.However, However,she shejust justkept keptstaring staringatatme, me,then thensaid said something somethingthat thatmade mademy myheart heartleap leapand andmy myclothes clothesache. ache. “Could “Couldyou yougive giveme meananarticle articleofofclothing clothingfrom fromyour youruniform? uniform? InInexchange, exchange,I’m I’mwilling willingtotogive giveyou youfive fiveyuan yuanand anda aration rationcoupon coupon forfora ameter meterofoffabric.” fabric.” 1313
Embarrassed, Embarrassed,I Istammered, stammered,“My “Myclass classcompatriot, compatriot,I’m I’mtruly truly sorry, sorry,but butwhen whenI Iwas wasdemobilized demobilizedI Iwas wasgiven givenonly onlytwo twosets setsofof clothing. clothing.Everyone Everyonewho whois isdemobilized demobilizedgets getsonly onlytwo twosets. sets.One Oneis is forforme metotowear, wear,while whilethe theother otherI promised I promisedtotogive givetotomy mymilitia militiabatbattalion talioncommander.” commander.” She Sheburst burstout outlaughing. laughing.“Revolution “Revolutionis isnot nota adinner dinnerparty. party.If Ifyou you don’t don’thave haveany anyarmy armyclothing clothingtotospare, spare,that’ that’ s sfine. fine.After Afterall, all,why why would wouldanyone anyonegive givea aperfect perfectstranger strangersuch sucha avaluable valuableitem?” item?” When Whenshe shesaid saidthis, this,I felt I feltoverwhelmed overwhelmedwith withguilt. guilt.It Itwas wasasas though thoughI Iwould wouldbebeletting lettingdown downChairman ChairmanMao Maoand andthe theCentral Central Committee Committeeofofthe theParty Partyif ifI didn’t I didn’tgive giveher herthe theclothing. clothing.I bowed I bowed my myhead headand andgazed gazeddown downatatthe theweeds weedsgrowing growingthrough throughthe thegaps gaps between betweenthe therailroad railroadties. ties.There Therewere werefairy fairybells bellsand andmugwort. mugwort.A A muddy, muddy,semiopaque semiopaquemist mistlingered lingeredbetween betweenus.us.After Afterthe thesun sunset, set,wewe could couldhear hearthe thesound soundofofthe themist mistcondensing condensingand anddripping drippingdown. down. The Thecounty countyseat seatwas wasoffofftotoone oneside, side,and andthe thevillage villagewas wasalso alsofarfar away, away,atatthe thebase baseofofthe thehill. hill.It Itwas wasasasif ifthis thiswoman womanand andI were I werethe the only onlypeople peopleleft leftininthe theentire entireworld, world,together togetherwith withthe theweeds weedsand andthe the wheat, wheat,the theairairand andthe thesolitude. solitude.AsAsthe thetime timewas wasrolling rollingbybybetween between us,us,the thelarge, large,round roundfootprints footprintsofofhistory historyappeared appearedbetween betweenthe therailrailroad roadties. ties.I saw I sawthat thatshe shewas waswearing wearinga pair a pairofofforeign-looking foreign-lookingblack black velveteen velveteenshoes shoeswith withaluminum aluminumbuckles, buckles,which whichsparkled sparkledininthe thesunsunlight lightlike likethe theBig BigDipper. Dipper. Mountains— Mountains— Great Greatwaves wavessurging surginginina crashing a crashingsea, sea, A Athousand thousandstallions, stallions, InInfullfullgallop gallopininthetheheat heatof ofbattle. battle.
Inside, Inside,a afierce fiercebattle battlewas wasbubbling bubblingup, up,like likeboiling boilingwater waterforfor tea, tea,while whileoutside outsideeverything everythingwas wasasascalm calmasasstill stillwater. water.I stood I stoodthere there motionless, motionless,staring staringatather herfeet. feet.She Sheasked askedme, me,“What “Whatdodoyou yousee?” see?” She Shestuck stuckout outone onefoot footand andwaved wavedit itback backand andforth, forth,then thenwiggled wiggledher her 1414
big bigtoe toesuch suchthat thatthe thetop topofofthe theshoe shoerose roseand andfell. fell.AsAsshe shewas wasdoing doing this, this,her herbeautiful beautifulface facebegan begantotoblush, blush,asasthough, though,atatthe thetouch touchofofher her partner’ partner’ s hand, s hand,she shehad hadfallen fallenininlove loveforforthe thefirst firsttime. time. “I“Iwasn’t wasn’tlooking lookingatatyour yourfeet,” feet,”I said. I said.“I“Iwas wasnoticing noticingthat thatnot not a asingle singleone oneofofthe thestones stonesininthe thebed bedofofthese theserail railtracks tracksis isround.” round.” She Shesaid, said,“You “Youwere werelooking lookingatatmy myfeet. feet.I saw I sawyou youstaring staringatatmy my toes.” toes.” I asked, I asked,“What’ “What’ s so s soattractive attractiveabout aboutyour yourtoes?” toes?” AtAtthat thatmoment, moment,heaven heavenand andearth earthwere werestartled, startled,and andthe thespirits spirits wept. wept.When Whenyou youfight fightwith withheaven heavenyou youmustn’t mustn’tfear fearthe thewind windand and rain, rain,when whenyou youfight fightwith withthe theearth earthyou youmustn’t mustn’tfear feardeep deepgullies gulliesand and ravines, ravines,and andwhen whenyou youfight fightwith withother otherpeople peopleyou youmustn’t mustn’tfear fearthat that they theymight mightuse useunderhanded underhandedtactics. tactics. She Sheunbuckled unbuckledand andremoved removedher hershoes. shoes.InInthe theblink blinkofofananeye, eye, allallten tenofofher hertoenails toenailswere wererevealed. revealed.Heaven, Heaven,ohohheaven! heaven!Earth, Earth,ohoh earth! earth!Those Thosetoenails toenailswere werepainted paintedininbrilliant brilliantred, red,like likeminiature miniature setting settingsuns. suns.They Theywere wereallallcarefully carefullytrimmed—as trimmed—asround roundasascrescent crescent moons moonsand andasasbeautifully beautifullytender tenderasasthe thebright brightred redtips tipsofofher herfingers. fingers. I was I wasstartled. startled.I knew I knewthat thather hernails nailshad hadbeen beenpainted paintedwith witha apolish polish made madefrom fromcrushed crushedsafflower. safflower.I saw I sawthe thepink pinkmist mistand andcould couldsmell smell the therosy rosyscent scentofofa awoman’ woman’ s sfragrance. fragrance.There Therewas wasa asemi-pungent semi-pungent odor odorofofgrass grassand andearth earthtoo. too.People Peopleoften oftensay saythat thatnonomatter matterhow how great greatheaven heavenmight mightbe, be,it itcannot cannotcontain containone’ one’ s love, s love,and andregardless regardlessofof how howexpansive expansivethe theearth earthmight mightbe, be,it itcannot cannotcontain containone’ one’ s affection. s affection. However, However,ininthis thisworld, world,only onlyrevolutionary revolutionaryemotion emotionis isheavy, heavy,because because the therevolutionaries’ revolutionaries’bonds bondsare aretaller tallerthan thanmountains mountainsand anddeeper deeperthan than the theocean. ocean.Even Eventhe thetallest tallestmountain mountainand andthe thedeepest deepestocean oceancannot cannot compare comparewith withthe thebreadth breadthand andthe thedepth depthofofa arevolutionary’ revolutionary’ s love s loveatat first firstsight. sight.What Whatkind kindofofperson personshould shouldone onetrytrytotobe? be?One Oneshould should strive strivetotobebehonest. honest.ToTobebehonest, honest,atatthat thatpoint pointI felt I feltasasthough thoughanan unspeakably unspeakablybeautiful beautifulflower flowerwas wasblooming bloominginside insidemy myheart. heart.But Butthat that flower flowerwas wasmaking makinga sound a soundlike likea car a cardriving drivingthrough throughmy mychest. chest.She She pursed pursedher herlips lipsand andstared staredatatme, me,asasthough thoughshe shewere wereabout abouttotogive give 1515
me mea atest. test.InIna asingle singlemovement, movement,she sheslid sliddown downoffoffthe thetracks tracksand and extended extendedher herfeet feetoutward. outward.Heaven, Heaven,ohohheaven! heaven!Earth, Earth,ohohearth! earth!She She was wasusing usingthe theradiance radianceofofthose thoseten tensuns sunstotobake bakemy myheart. heart. I felt I feltananelectric electricshock. shock.Her Herbeautiful beautifulfeet feetwere werewhite whitewith withdark dark tan tanlines, lines,and andininsome someplaces placesthe thetwo twoskin skintones tonesmixed mixedtogether togethertoto yield yielda apurplish-red purplish-redcolor. color.The Theparts partsofofher herfeet feetthat thatwere werenormally normally inside insidethe theshoes shoeswere weresosowhite whitethat thatthey theyappeared appearedbloodless. bloodless.The Thered red nails nailsappeared appearedthicker thickeragainst againstthat thatwhite whitebackground, background,and andagainst against their theirred redthickness, thickness,her herwhite whitefeet feetappeared appearedeven eventhinner. thinner.If Ifthis thisis is what whather herfeet feetwere werelike, like,then thenwhat whatmight mighther hercalves, calves,her herthighs, thighs,and and the therest restofofher herbody bodybebelike? like?Could Couldthe therest restofofher herbebeeven evenmore moretentenderly derlywhite whitethan thanher herfeet? feet?I too I tooslid sliddown downfrom fromthe thetracks, tracks,asasthough though I had I hadbeen beenseduced, seduced,and andsatsatopposite oppositeher. her.I spread I spreadmy mylegs legssosothat that her herlegs legswere werebetween betweenmine, mine,pointing pointingtoward towardmy mychest. chest.I don’t I don’tknow know what whatmy myexpression expressionwas waslike likeatatthat thatpoint; point;I just I justknow knowthat thatmy myheart heart was waspounding poundingand anda ariver riverofofblood bloodwas wasrushing rushingthrough throughmy myveins. veins. Even Eventhough thoughthere therewas wasnonoenemy enemysecretly secretlydirecting directingme, me,my myhands hands trembled trembledviolently violentlyasasI fumblingly I fumblinglyreached reachedout outtototouch touchher herlegs, legs,asas though thoughI were I wereexhausted exhaustedfrom froma along longmarch. march.AtAtthat thatmoment—at moment—at that thatgreat greatand anddivine divinemoment—just moment—justasasI was I wascaressing caressingher herbloodbloodred redtoenails, toenails,she shepulled pulledher herfeet feetaway. away.The Theairairbetween betweenusussuddenly suddenly grew grewchilly, chilly,though thoughheaven heavenand andearth earthkept keptspinning. spinning.After Aftera abrief brief pause, pause,however, however,the thefrozen frozengulf gulfbetween betweenususbegan begantotomelt meltagain, again, and andsmall smallgreen greenshoots shootsbegan begantotosprout. sprout.She Sheheld heldher herlegs legsback backonly only forfora moment a momentand andthen, then,with witha bashful a bashfulsmile, smile,slowly slowlyextended extendedthem them again. again.AtAtthat thatpoint, point,the therailroad railroadtracks’ tracks’endless endlessdesolation desolationwarmed warmed ususup, up,just justasasthe thecountryside’ countryside’ s endless s endlessdesolation desolationboiled boiledand andburned burned us.us.The Thesun sunwas wasblindingly blindinglybright, bright,and andit itshone shonedown downononthe thefields fields like likeananenormous enormousred-silk red-silkbedsheet bedsheetdraped drapedover overthe theland. land.A Asparsparrow rowand anda aswallow swallowhad hadlanded landedononthe therailroad railroadtrack tracknext nexttotoususand and were werechirping chirpinghappily. happily.I gently I gentlygrasped graspedher herfeet feetasasthough thoughholding holding a aflower flowerininmy mymouth, mouth,placed placedthem themononmy mycrossed crossedlegs, legs,and andwith witha a trembling tremblinghand handreached reachedout outtotocaress caressher herred redtoenails. toenails.I began I beganwith with 1616
her herleft leftfoot footand andproceeded proceededtotoher herright, right,moving movingfrom fromher herpinky pinkyallall the theway waytotoher herbig bigtoe. toe.I could I couldfeel feelher hertoes toestrembling tremblingininmy mygrasp graspand and could couldfeel feelthe theblood bloodrushing rushingthrough throughher herveins. veins.I stroked I strokedher hertoenails toenails dozens—maybe dozens—maybehundreds—of hundreds—oftimes. times.I stroked I strokedthem themuntil untilthe theredredness nesswas wasasasthin thinasasa asheet sheetofofpaper paperand anduntil untilthe thefloral floralfragrance fragranceofof the thenail nailpolish polishwas wasgently gentlyradiating radiatingfrom frommy myfingertips. fingertips.Following Following that thatgentle gentlefragrance, fragrance,there therewas wasa strong a strongpink pinkodor odorofofwoman’ woman’ s flesh, s flesh, which whichpelted peltedmy myhead headlike likeraindrops. raindrops.I was I wasovercome overcomebybythat thatred red nail nailpolish polishand andthat thatintoxicating intoxicatingscent scentand andwas wassosoecstatic ecstaticthat thatI felt I feltI I might mightpass passout. out.My Mylips lipswere weretrembling tremblingand andmy myteeth teethwere werechattering. chattering. I began I beganmadly madlykissing kissingher herfeet, feet,proceeding proceedingfrom fromher herpinky pinkytotoher herbig big toe toeand andfrom fromher hertoes toesupuptotothe thetop topofofher herfeet. feet.But ButasasI was I waskissing kissing her, her,she sheonce onceagain againpulled pulledher herfeet feetout outofofmy mygrasp. grasp. We Westared staredatateach eachother, other,our ourgazes gazeslike likeblood-drenched blood-drenchedswords. swords. It Itwas wasatatthat thatmoment momentthat thatweweheard hearda blast a blastofofopera operamusic musicfrom from the thevillage’ village’ s loudspeakers. s loudspeakers.First Firstthere therewas wasa bright a brightred redsong, song,followed followed bybycountless countlesscries criesand andscreams, screams,asasthough thoughfrom froma amental mentalasylum. asylum. From Fromevery everydirection, direction,loudspeakers loudspeakerswere werebroadcasting broadcastingsongs songsand andsloslogans, gans,and andthe theloudspeakers loudspeakersfrom fromthe thevillage villageclosest closesttotoususwere werebroadbroadcasting castingsongs songsthat thatwere wereloud loudand andbright, bright,new newand andred, red,with withsparkling sparkling lyrics, lyrics,every everyword wordofofwhich whichcascaded cascadeddown downlike likewater waterflowing flowingover over a atall tallcliff cliffonto ontothe therocks rocksdown downbelow. below.The Themusical musicalnotes notesshone shoneand and sparkled sparkledlike likesilk, silk,and andeach eachnote notewas waslike likea water a waterdroplet dropletshattered shatteredbyby the thelyrics. lyrics.I saw I sawher herlistening listeningtotoa avery veryfamiliar familiarsong, song,one oneI couldn’t I couldn’t name nameatatthat thatmoment. moment.She Sheappeared appearedvery veryexcited, excited,asasthough thoughthe the melody melodywere wereflowing flowinglike likea awave waveover overher herface faceand anddirectly directlyinto intoher her veins. veins.She Sheremained remainedfrozen frozenthroughout throughoutthe thesong songand andthe theannounceannouncement, ment,staring staringintently intentlyininthe thedirection directionofofthe thevillage villagebehind behindme. me.Her Her face faceresembled resembleda wet a wetred redcloth cloththat thathas hasfrozen frozensolid solidafter afterbeing beinghung hung out outtotodry dryininthe themiddle middleofofwinter. winter.AtAtsome somepoint pointshe shehad hadput puther her hands handsover overthe theshirt shirtbutton buttondirectly directlybelow belowher herneck—as neck—asthough thoughshe she wanted wantedtotounfasten unfastenit itbut butwas wasunable unabletotododososobecause becauseI was I wasstanding standing ininfront frontofofher. her.Her Herfingertips fingertipswere weretrembling tremblingasasif ifshe shehad hadtouched toucheda a 1717
red-hot red-hotpiece pieceofofiron, iron,and andasasshe shetapped tappedthat thatreddish-yellow reddish-yellowbutton buttonit it produced produceda faint a faintsound soundofofflesh fleshononmetal. metal.I wanted I wantedtotofigure figureout outwhat what that thatloud loudfamiliar familiarsong songwas, was,and andtherefore thereforeperked perkedupupmy myears earsand and listened. listened.AtAtthat thatpoint, point,I realized I realizedthat thatthe theeasternmost easternmostloudspeaker loudspeaker was wasplaying playingthe theblack-iron black-ironand andwhite-steel white-steelsong song“Carry “CarryRevolution Revolutiontoto the theEnd”; End”;the thewesternmost westernmostloudspeaker loudspeakerwas wasplaying playingthe theclatteringly clatteringly strong strongsong song“Overthrow “Overthrowthe theReactionary ReactionaryAmerican AmericanImperialist Imperialistand and Soviet SovietRevisionist RevisionistParty”; Party”;the thesouthernmost southernmostloudspeaker loudspeakerwas wasplaying playing the thesong song“Dragons “Dragonsand andTigers TigersRace Racetotothe theTop”; Top”;while whilethe thenorthernnorthernmost mostloudspeaker loudspeakerwas wasplaying playingthe thered-filled-with-green-fragrance red-filled-with-green-fragrance song song“Please “PleaseDrink Drinka Cup a CupofofButtermilk ButtermilkTea” Tea”and andthe thesalty-sweat-andsalty-sweat-andtears tearssong song“Denouncing “Denouncingthe theEvil EvilOld OldSociety.” Society.”Coming Comingdown downfrom from above abovewas wasthe theearthy-smelling earthy-smellingsong song“Not “NotEven EvenHeaven HeavenororEarth EarthAre Are asasVast Vastasasthe theKindness Kindnessofofthe theParty,” Party,”while whilecoming comingupupfrom fromunderunderground groundwas wasthe thesilken silkenjumping-and-laughing jumping-and-laughingsound soundofof“The “TheSky Skyofof the theLiberated LiberatedAreas AreasIsIsBright.” Bright.”AllAllthese theselyrics lyricswere weresosofamiliar familiarthat thatI I could couldrecite recitethem themword wordforforword, word,and andif ifI heard I hearda single a singleline lineI could I could sing singthe theentire entirerest restofofthe thesong. song.But Butforforthe thelife lifeofofme meI couldn’t I couldn’tfigure figure out outwhat whatthat thatloudest, loudest,brightest, brightest,most mostmoving, moving,and andpassion-inducing passion-inducing song songwas, was,the theone onethat thatwas wasplaying playingoverhead, overhead,behind behindme, me,ininfront front ofofme, me,and andononallallsides. sides.Needless Needlesstotosay, say,she shewas wassimilarly similarlyagitated agitated bybythese thesesongs, songs,and andshe sheinfected infectedme mewith withher heragitation. agitation.I wanted I wantedtoto ask askher herwhat whatthat thatoh-so-familiar oh-so-familiarsong songwas, was,but butjust justasasI was I wasabout about totododoso,so,I noticed I noticedthat thather hereyes—with eyes—withwhich whichshe shewas wasstaring staringatatmy my lips—had lips—hadturned turnedlight lightpurple. purple.She Shehad hadunfastened unfastenedher hertop topbutton, button, and andnow nowboth bothofofher herhands handswere weretrembling tremblingover overthe thesecond secondbutton. button. This Thiswas washow howthings thingsstood. stood. The Thesky skywas washigh, high,and andthe theclouds cloudswere weresparse, sparse,and andthere therewere were nonogeese geeseflying flyingsouth. south.The Thesetting settingsun sunwas wasthe thecolor colorofofblood bloodand andcast cast red redlight lightininallalldirections. directions.Her Herfirst firsttwo twobuttons buttonshad hadbeen beenunfastened unfastened bybythe theopera operasongs songsshe shehad hadheard, heard,while whilethe theremaining remainingthree threewere were unfastened unfastenedbybythe theones onesI had I hadheard. heard.After Afterallallfive fiveofofher herbuttons buttonshad had been beenunfastened, unfastened,her hershiny shinypink pinkblouse blousehung hungdown downononeither eitherside side 1818
ofofher herchest chestlike likeananopen opencurtain, curtain,and andbetween betweenthose thosetwo twopink pinkcurcurtains, tains,her herpert pertbreasts breastssummoned summonedme melike likea pair a pairofoflively, lively,enormous, enormous, snowy-white snowy-whiterabbits. rabbits. The Thewarm, warm,beautiful beautifulsunlight sunlightbegan begantotocongeal, congeal,asasdid didthe theairair around aroundus.us.Heaven, Heaven,ohohheaven! heaven!Earth, Earth,ohohearth! earth!We Westared staredatateach each other, other,neither neitherofofusussaying sayinga aword. word.She Sheremoved removedher hersynthetic syntheticshirt shirt and andplaced placedit itononthe therailroad railroadtracks tracksbeside besideher. her.AsAsshe shedid didso,so,she she remained remainedseated seatedonona apatch patchofofgreen greengrass grassbetween betweenthe thetracks, tracks,her her unclothed unclothedupper upperbody bodyheld helderect erectlike likea anaked nakeddeity. deity.OnOna avery veryfine fine day, day,thetheland, land,clad cladininwhite whiteand andadorned adornedininred, red,grows growseven evenmore moreenchantenchanting! ing!. .. .. All . Allarearepast pastand andgone, gone,forfortruly trulygreat greatmen, men,look looktotothis thisage agealone! alone! Shocked, Shocked,I stared I staredatather hersilently. silently.The Theblood bloodcoursed coursedthrough throughmy mybody, body, and andmy myqiqiblew blewlike likethe thewind. wind.AtAtthat thatinstant, instant,my mygaze gazelanded landedonon her herbody, body,asasthough thoughI had I hadalready alreadycaressed caressedher herwith withmy myhands. hands.Who Who could couldhave haveexpected expectedthat thatafter aftershe sheremoved removedher herclothes, clothes,her herbeauty beauty would wouldbebesosoclearly clearlyvisible? visible?Initially InitiallyI hadn’t I hadn’tnoticed noticedthat thather herhair hairwas was asasblack blackasasa sheet a sheetofofsilk silkhanging hangingdown downonto ontoher hershoulders. shoulders.But Butonce once I was I wasable abletotoappreciate appreciateher herwhite whiteskin skinand andthe thethin, thin,beautiful beautifulbody body that thatpreviously previouslyhad hadlain lainconcealed concealedunder underclothing, clothing,the theblackness blacknessofof her herhair hairwas wasrevealed, revealed,standing standingininstark starkcontrast contrasttotothe thewhiteness whitenessofof her herskin. skin.Her Herjet-black jet-blackhair hairglimmered glimmeredininthe thelight lightofofthe thesetting settingsun sun asasit itdraped drapeddown downover overher hershoulders, shoulders,and andsome somestrands strandsfell fellinto intothe the crevice creviceofofher herneck. neck.Her Herneck neckwas wasvery verybeautiful—round beautiful—roundand andwhite white with witha ahint hintofofred, red,like likea apiece pieceofofjade jadethat thathad hadbeen beenkneaded kneadedbybythe the weather weatherand andbybyhuman humanhand. hand.She Sheseemed seemedslightly slightlyembarrassed, embarrassed,while while her herincreasingly increasinglyanimated animatedface facewas washeld heldup, up,asasthough thoughsomeone someonewere were using usinga jade a jadecolumn columntotosupport supporta full a fullmoon moonthat thatwas wasabout abouttotorise risejust just asasthe thesun sunwas wassetting. setting.However, However,asasI moved I movedmy myeyes eyesdown downher herbody, body,I I noticed noticed that that her her hair, hair, face, face, and and jade-like jade-like neck neck could could not not compare compare toto her her snow-white snow-whitebreasts. breasts.I was I wasinstantly instantlyseized seizedbybythe thesoftness softnessand andstiffness stiffness ofofher herpert pertbreasts, breasts,and andit itwas wasasasif ifI had I hadnonodesire desiretotocontinue continuemoving moving my mygaze gazedownward. downward.Moreover, Moreover,ononthose thosefull fulland andround roundbreasts, breasts,her her purple purplenipples nipplesresembled resembleda apair pairofofChinese Chinesedates, dates,each eachwith witha atiny tiny 1919
opening. opening.I knew I knewthat thatthis thiswas waswhere wherebreast breastmilk milkcame cameout, out,something something sweet sweetand andmoist, moist,capable capableofofintoxicating intoxicatinga aman. man.AsAsI was I waslooking lookingatat her herbreasts, breasts,I noticed I noticedthat thatthere therewas wasananarray arrayofofindentations indentationsononher her nipples, nipples,and andthat thateach eachwas wassurrounded surroundedbybyananareola areolathat thatwent wentfrom from dark darkred redtotolight lightpink—and pink—andthey theywere werelike likea pair a pairofoftiny tinyred redumbrellas umbrellas opened openedtoward towardme. me.AtAtthe theborder borderofofthe theareola areolaand andthe thebreast breastskin, skin,the the juncture junctureofofred redand andwhite whiteformed formeda apeculiarly peculiarlybeautiful beautifulgear-shaped gear-shaped pattern. pattern.Beyond Beyondthis thiswas washer hercleavage, cleavage,which whichwas wasdeep deepand andnarrow. narrow. I slid I sliddown downfrom fromthe therailroad railroadtrack trackand andtried triedtotoplace placeher herfeet feetononmy my legs, legs,and andtotomy mysurprise surpriseshe shedidn’t didn’trefuse. refuse.She Sheletletme mehold holdher herfeet, feet, caressing caressingthose thosered redtoenails toenailsasasI stared I staredatather hersnow-white snow-whitechest. chest.We We were wereseparated separatedbybyonly onlya aleg’ leg’ s length. s length.The Thedistance distancebetween betweenthe thetwo two railroad railroadtracks trackshappened happenedtotobebejust justwide wideenough enoughforforusustotositsitdown down and andstretch stretchout outour ourlegs. legs.I’m I’mnot notsure sureatatwhat whatpoint pointa acrow crowand andanan oriole oriolelanded landednext nexttotous,us,nor nordodoI know I knowwhen whensome someothers othersjoined, joined,asas well wellasasseveral severalsparrows sparrowsand andswallows. swallows.From Fromseveral severalmeters metersaway, away,the the birds birdsstared staredatather hernaked nakedupper upperbody. body.They Theydidn’t didn’thop hopororjump, jump,nor nor did didthey theysing singororeat. eat.Instead, Instead,they theycarefully carefullytook tooka step a steporortwo twotoward toward her. her.The Thecrows crowsand andthe thesparrows sparrowshad hadblack, black,white, white,and andgray grayplumage, plumage, while whilethe theorioles orioleshad hadred redand andgold goldplumage plumagethat thatsparkled sparkledininthe thelight light ofofthe thesetting settingsun. sun.Apart Apartfrom fromthe theoily oilygreen greenscent scentofofwheat wheatsprouts, sprouts, the thetender tenderyellow yellowscent scentofofgreen greengrass, grass,the thehard hardblack blackscent scentofofthe the railroad railroadtracks, tracks,and andthe thesoft softred redscent scentofofthe thesetting settingsun, sun,there therewas was only onlythe thefaint faintscent scentofofher herbody. body.Not Notevery everywoman’ woman’ s body s bodyhas hasthis thissort sort ofofdelicate delicatefragrance. fragrance.I had I hadnever neversmelled smelledsuch sucha scent a scentononthe thebody bodyofof my mywife, wife,Guizhi. Guizhi.Even Evenininour ournuptial nuptialchamber, chamber,even evenwhen whenmy myfeelfeelings ingsforforGuizhi Guizhiwere werestill stillasasdeep deepasasthe thesea, sea,I hadn’t I hadn’tever evernoticed noticedthat that fragrance. fragrance.But Butsitting sittingononthe therailroad railroadtracks tracksunder underthe thesetting settingsun, sun,the the woman womanbefore beforeme mesmelled smelledlike likea fresh a freshpeach peachororpear pearblossom. blossom.I stared I stared atather, her,keeping keepingmy mygaze gazefixed fixedononher herbody. body.My Myeyeballs eyeballswere werepainfully painfully stiff, stiff,asasthough thoughsomeone someonehad hadstuffed stuffedmarbles marblesinto intomy myeye eyesockets. sockets.I felt I felt light-headed, light-headed,and andmy myvision visionwas wasblurred, blurred,but butI could I couldnonetheless nonethelesssee see
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the thepeaks peaksand andcrevices crevicesofofher herbreasts breastsand andthe thesnowy-white snowy-whiteskin skinofofher her abdomen. abdomen.Her Hergrayish-white grayish-whitebody bodyhair hairwas wasasassoft softasasa baby’ a baby’ s—short s—short and andasasfine fineasasthe thepoint pointofofa needle—and a needle—andasasit itswayed swayedininthe thebreeze breezeit it produced produceda tiny a tinyglow. glow.The Thegentle gentlefeather-like feather-likerustling rustlingofofher herbody bodyhair hair seemed seemedtotoquiet quietdown, down,but butthen thenI heard I heardanother anotherswaying swayingsound. sound.She She appeared appearedexhausted, exhausted,and andasasshe sheleaned leanedtoward towardme, me,two twoparallel parallelcreases creases appeared appearedininher herabdomen. abdomen.I heard I heardrapid rapidfootsteps footstepsnext nexttotous,us,time time scurrying scurryingby.by.AtAtthat thatpoint pointthe thesetting settingsun sunwas wasabout abouttotodip dipbelow belowthe the mountains, mountains,and andthe themountaintops mountaintopstotothe theeast eastofofthe thecounty countyseat seatwere were glowing glowingred, red,asasif ifthey theywere werepools poolsofofwater. water.The Thesky skywas washigh, high,and andthe the clouds cloudswere weresparse, sparse,and andthere therewere werenonogeese geeseflying flyingsouth. south.The Theclouds clouds shifted shiftedformation, formation,leaving leavingbehind behinda abeautiful beautifulscene scene. .. .. The . Thepre-dusk pre-dusk coolness coolnesswas wasalready alreadydrifting driftingover overtotoususfrom fromthe thefields. fields.Her Hershirt shirtonon the therailroad railroadtietiewas wasfluttering flutteringininthe thewind. wind.She Shewas wassurely surelysoon soongoing going totogetgetcold. cold.ByBythat thatpoint pointshe shehad hadbeen beensitting sittingtopless toplessininfront frontofofme meforfor what whatseemed seemedlike likecenturies. centuries.I should I shouldhave havefelt felther herskin skintotosee seeif ifshe shewas was chilly, chilly,should shouldhave haveused usedmy myclothing clothingtotocover coverher herbun-like bun-likeshoulders, shoulders, and andshould shouldhave haveshared sharedmy mybody bodyheat heatwith withher. her.Poetry Poetrycame cametotome: me: The The sound sound of of thethe wind, wind, thethe crycry of of a crane, a crane, startled startled byby thethe clanking clanking of of weaponry; weaponry; Ambushed Ambushed from from allall sides, sides, who who wouldn’t wouldn’t bebe frightened frightened outout of of their their senses? senses?
Comrade, Comrade,tell tellme, me,is isit itnot notsomewhat somewhatinappropriate inappropriatetotouse use these thesetwo twolines lineshere? here?But Buthow howelse elsecould couldI express I expresswhat whatI felt I feltatatthat that moment? moment?I was I wasabout abouttototake takeaction, action,was wasabout abouttotocross crossover overthat that barrier. barrier.Heaven, Heaven,ohohheaven! heaven!Earth, Earth,ohohearth! earth!The Thebroadcast broadcastfrom fromthe the speakers speakersaround aroundusussuddenly suddenlypaused, paused,and andthe theriver riverofofopera operamusic music suddenly suddenlydried driedup. up.It Itwas wasasasif ifa asky skylitlitbrightly brightlybybythe thesun sunbecame became filled filledwith withclouds cloudsthat thatquenched quencheditsitsheat. heat. Looking Lookingasasthough thoughshe shewere wereawakening awakeningfrom froma adream, dream,she she grabbed grabbedmy myhands, hands,which whichwere weretouching touchingher herfeet, feet,and andtossed tossedthem them aside. aside.
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I felt I feltasasthough thoughI had I hadstepped steppedinto intoa anuptial nuptialchamber chamberand andthen then been beenunceremoniously unceremoniouslypushed pushedout outagain. again. I said, I said,“Sunflower “Sunflowerblossoms blossomsopen opentoward towardthe thesun, sun,and andcountless countless blooming bloomingflowers flowerscannot cannotbebedefeated.” defeated.” She Sheignored ignoredme, me,and andinstead insteadturned turnedand andbegan beganputting puttingononher her clothes. clothes. I said, I said,“If“Iftoday todayweweplant plantthe theseeds seedsofoffriendship, friendship,revolutionary revolutionary sentiment sentimentwill willcontinue continuetotodevelop developover overthe thenext nextmillennium.” millennium.” She Shekept keptignoring ignoringme, me,finished finishedputting puttingononher herclothes, clothes,and and quickly quicklywalked walkedaway. away.AsAsshe shefollowed followedthe therailroad railroadtracks tracksinto intothe the blood-red blood-redlight lightofofthe thesetting settingsun, sun,her herbody bodyresembled resembleda ashadow, shadow, quickly quicklydisappearing disappearingfrom fromsight. sight.
4.4.The TheMighty MightyCurrent CurrentofofRevolution RevolutionIsIsExhausted Exhausted When WhenI Ireturned returnedtotothe thecounty countyseat, seat,night nighthad hadfallen fallenand andthe the streetlamps streetlampshad hadjust justbeen beenlit.lit.ToTomy mysurprise, surprise,just justasasthe thesun sunwas was setting, setting,I saw I sawthat thatananastonishing astonishingevent eventhad hadunfolded. unfolded.The Thestreets streetsofof the thecounty countyseat seatwere werevirtually virtuallyempty, empty,and andthere therewas wasbarely barelyanyone anyone totobebeseen seenononthe thethoroughfare thoroughfarethat thatI was I waswalking walkingdown. down.The Thebigbigcharacter characterposters posterswith withred redXsXsthat thathad hadbeen beenplaced placedalong alongthe thestreet street had hadallallbeen beentorn torndown downand andwere werefluttering flutteringdesolately desolatelyininthe thewind. wind. The Thebrick-paved brick-pavedstreets streetswere werecovered coveredininananarray arrayofofcrushed crushedrocks rocksand and shattered shatteredtiles, tiles,looking lookingasasthough thoughthe theworld worldhad hadbeen beenturned turnedupside upside down. down.The Themighty mightycurrent currentofofrevolution revolutionhad hadbeen beenexhausted, exhausted,asasthe the river riverflowed flowedeastward eastwardand anddust dustblew blewininthe thewind. wind.A Ashattered shatteredhoe hoeoror shovel shovelhandle handlehad hadbeen beentossed tossedinto intothe thesewer seweropening, opening,and anda broken a broken electrical electricalpole polewas wasleaning leaningagainst againsta courtyard a courtyardwall, wall,though thoughsomehow somehow the thenearby nearbystreetlamp streetlampwas wasstill stilllit.lit.Very Veryfew fewofofthe theother otherstreetlamps streetlamps that thatwere werestill stillstanding standingwere wereilluminated, illuminated,and andsome somedidn’t didn’teven evenhave have bulbs. bulbs.There Therewere werebright brightred reddrops dropsononthe theside sideofofthe thestreet, street,and andI I could couldsmell smellthe thestench stenchofofblood. blood.Realizing Realizingthat thatthe therevolution revolutionhad had already alreadybeen beenunleashed unleashedhere, here,I felt I felta sense a senseofofterror, terror,asasthough thoughI were I were 2222
inina dream, a dream,one onewith withmany manylayers. layers.I truly I trulydidn’t didn’tunderstand understandwhat whathad had unfolded. unfolded.She—that She—thatbeautiful beautifultwenty-something-year-old—what twenty-something-year-old—whatwas was her hername? name?And Andhow howold oldwas wasshe, she,really? really?Was Wasshe shefrom fromthe thecity cityoror from fromthe thesuburbs? suburbs?Where Wheredid didshe shework? work?And Andwhy whywas wasshe shesitting sittingonon the therailroad railroadtracks tracksoutside outsideofoftown? town?I found I foundmyself myselfinina state a stateofofutter utter confusion. confusion.Shocked Shockedbybyhow howthe thecounty countyseat’ seat’ s streets s streetsnow nowresembled resembled a awar warzone, zone,my mymemory memoryofofthat thatwoman womanbecame becamemore moreindistinct. indistinct. Who Whocould couldsay saywith withcertainty certaintyhow howblack blackher herhair hairwas, was,how howwhite whiteher her skin, skin,how howexquisite exquisiteher herface, face,and andhow howbeautiful beautifulher herbare barebreasts? breasts?My My memory memoryofofher herwas washazy hazyand andconfused. confused.The Theentire entirescene sceneunfolded unfolded between betweenthe themoment momentthe thesun sunfirst firstreached reachedthe thewestern westernmountains mountainsand and when whenit itset, set,asasred redasasblood. blood.She Sheand andI barely I barelysaid saidanything anythingtotoeach each other otherduring duringthat thatspan spanofoftime. time.Could Couldit iteven evenbebereal? real?And Andwho whowould would ever everbelieve believeit?it?But Buteven evenasasshe sheand andI were I wereengaged engagedininthat thatdegenerate degenerate and anddecadent decadentanti-revolutionary anti-revolutionaryencounter, encounter,a different a differentrevolutionary revolutionary scene scenehad hadbeen beenunfolding unfoldinghere, here,which whichleft lefthalf halfofofthe thecounty countyseat’ seat’ ss streets streetsdestroyed. destroyed. Later, Later,I heard I heardthat thatjust justasasI had I hadbeen beencaressing caressingher herred redtoenails, toenails, someone someonehad hadseized seizedcontrol controlofofthe thecounty’ county’ s loudspeakers, s loudspeakers,such suchthat that the thepropaganda propagandatools toolswere wereonce onceagain againreturned returnedtotothe thehands handsofofthe the revolutionaries. revolutionaries.
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Chapter Chapter22
Preliminary PreliminaryReport Report on onWinds Windsand andClouds Clouds
1.1.The TheAtmosphere AtmosphereofofChenggang Chenggang It Itwas wasthree threedays dayslater laterthat thatI returned I returnedtotomy myhometown hometownofofChenggang. Chenggang. My Myreturn returnmarked markedthe theexplosive explosivebeginning beginningofofa drama a dramaofofcrazed crazed love. love.Love Loveand andcorruption, corruption,class classdifference differenceand andfamily familyties, ties,hatred hatred and andstruggle, struggle,the theCheng ChengBrothers Brothersand andNeo-Confucianism, Neo-Confucianism,law lawand and revolution, revolution,revolution revolutionand andproduction, production,loyalty loyaltyand andfoolishness, foolishness,men men and andwomen, women,cocks cocksand andbreasts, breasts,beauty beautyand andugliness, ugliness,food foodand andhunhunger, ger,fathers fathersand andsons, sons,mothers mothersand andchildren, children,husbands husbandsand andwives, wives, branch branchsecretaries secretariesand andParty Partysecretaries, secretaries,handcuffs handcuffsand andropes, ropes,straw straw and andgold—all gold—allthese thesethings, things,ininthe theend, end,are arebut butinsecticide. insecticide.The Thefour four oceans oceanswere wereboiling boilingininfury, fury,and andthe thefive fivecontinents continentswere werebuffeted buffetedbyby thunderstorms—I thunderstorms—Itruly trulywanted wantedtotostomp stompononthem themsosothat thatthey theywould would never neverget getupupagain againand andeven evenwished wishedI could I couldpiss pissonontheir theirheads. heads. If Ifyou youpermit permitme metotoleave leavethis thisplace placealive, alive,the thefirst firstthing thingI’llI’lldodo when whenI return I returntotoChenggang Chenggangwill willbebetotopiss pissallallover overthose thosethings thingsand and shit shitallallover overthe thehead headofofChenggang’ Chenggang’ s revolution. s revolution. But Butfirst firstI should I shouldsay saya aword wordorortwo twoabout aboutour ourradiant radianttown town ofofChenggang, Chenggang,ininthe theBalou BalouMountains. Mountains.The TheBalou BalouMountains Mountainsare are
a arange rangeininthe theFuniu Funiumountain mountainsystem, system,stretching stretchingfrom fromthe theCheng Cheng Clan ClanHillock Hillockininthe theeast easttotoBaiguo BaiguoMountain Mountainininthe thewest. west.They Theyare are a awinding windingeighty-li-long eighty-li-longrange, range,consisting consistingmostly mostlyofofhills hillsand andsmall small mountains. mountains.InInthis thisrange, range,peaks peaksand andvalleys valleysdissolve dissolveinto intoone oneanother, another, ridges ridgesabutting abuttingstreams. streams.The Theterritory territoryis islocated locatedbetween between250 250and and 500 500meters metersabove abovesea sealevel, level,and andincludes includeshills, hills,fields, fields,plateaus, plateaus,and and ravines, ravines,totaling totaling34,000 34,000mu. mu.This Thisterritory territoryincludes includesLuhun LuhunRidge, Ridge, which whichduring duringthe theSpring Springand andAutumn Autumnperiod periodwas wasknown knownasasthe the Luhun LuhunRong Rongterritory, territory,and andduring duringthe theHan Handynasty dynastywas wasknown knownasas Luhun Luhuncounty. county.AllAllofofthis thisis isrecorded recordedininthe thelocal localgazetteers. gazetteers.OfOf course, course,the themost mostcelebrated celebratedsite siteininthe theBalou BalouMountains Mountainsis isnot notLuhun Luhun Ridge Ridgebut butthe thetown townofofChenggang, Chenggang,which whichis islocated locatedononananadjacent adjacent plateau. plateau.The Thetown townofofChenggang Chenggangwas wasoriginally originallycalled calledCheng ChengVillage, Village, though thoughit itwas wasnever neverananordinary ordinaryvillage. village.Similarly, Similarly,now nowthat thatit itwas was recognized recognizedasasa town, a town,it itwas wasnonoordinary ordinarymarket markettown townbut butrather ratherwas was celebrated celebratedasasthe theformer formerresidence residenceofofthe theSong Songdynasty dynastyphilosophers philosophers Cheng ChengHao Haoand andCheng ChengYi.Yi.During Duringthe thereign reignofofthe theYuan Yuandynasty’ dynasty’ ss Emperor EmperorRenzong, Renzong,a temple a templewas wasbuilt builtininCheng ChengVillage Villagetotocommemocommemorate ratethese thesetwo twoancestral ancestralsages. sages.Later, Later,beginning beginningininthe thesixth sixthyear yearofof the theMing Mingdynasty’ dynasty’ s Jingtai s Jingtaireign, reign,the thetemple templewas wasrepeatedly repeatedlyrepaired repaired and andexpanded, expanded,with withgood goodfeudal feudalsubjects subjectsadding addingbricks bricksand andtiles. tiles. The Thetemple templegrew grewtotoa athree-section three-sectioncourtyard. courtyard.The Thefront frontcourtyard courtyard had hadthe theLattice LatticeHouse HouseGate Gateand andthe theBearing BearingRespect RespectGate, Gate,the theSpring Spring Breeze BreezeArbor Arborand andthe theStanding StandingSnow SnowPavilion; Pavilion;the themiddle middlecourtyard courtyard had hadthe theTaoist TaoistHall Halland andtwo twowing wingrooms: rooms:the theGentle GentleWind Windand andSweet Sweet Rain RainRoom Roomand andthe theScorching ScorchingSun Sunand andAutumn AutumnFrost FrostRoom; Room;and andthe the rear rearcourtyard courtyardhad hadthe theQixian QixianGreat GreatHall, Hall,ononeither eitherside sideofofwhich which there therewere werea apair pairofoflecture lecturehalls. halls.Each Eachofofthe thethree threesections sectionsofofthe the courtyard courtyardwas wasten tenmu muininsize, size,with withcarved carvedbeams beamsand andpainted paintedrafters, rafters, dragon dragonand andphoenix phoenixcarvings, carvings,steles stelesand andcypresses cypressesthat thattouched touchedthe the sky—making sky—makingthis thisa aliving livingincarnation incarnationofoffeudalism. feudalism. During Duringthe thereign reignofofthe theMing Mingdynasty’ dynasty’ s sEmperor EmperorTianshun, Tianshun, Cheng ChengVillage Villagewas wasdesignated designateda aCheng ChengBrothers BrothersHistoric HistoricSite. Site.A A 2525
stone stonememorial memorialarch archwas wasbuilt builtone oneli litotothe theeast eastofofthe thevillage villageand and was wasengraved engravedwith withthe thewords wordsimperial imperialedict, edict,below belowwhich whichappeared appeared the thewords wordscheng chengbrothers brothershistoric historicsite. site.Because Becausethis thisinscription inscriptionhad had been beenfucking fuckingwritten writtenbybythe theemperor emperorhimself himselfand andwas wastaking takingpride pride ofofplace placeononthat thatarch archininthe themiddle middleofofthe theroad, road,everyone everyonehad hadtotosee see it itonontheir theirway wayininand andout outofofthe thevillage. village.When Whencivil civilofficials officialspassed passed by,by,they theywere wereobliged obligedtotoget getdown downfrom fromtheir theirsedans, sedans,while whilemilimilitary taryofficials officialshad hadtotodismount dismounttheir theirhorses. horses.AsAsa aresult, result,Cheng ChengVilVillage lagebecame becamefamous famousfarfarand andwide, wide,becoming becomingthe theTiananmen TiananmenGate Gateofof western westernHenan’ Henan’ s Balou s BalouMountains. Mountains.The Theloess loesshillock hillockbehind behindCheng Cheng Village Villagethat thatmarked markedthe theeastern easternend endofofthe theBalou Baloumountain mountainrange range came cametotobebeknown knownasasthe theCheng ChengClan ClanHillock. Hillock.Later, Later,the thepopulation population ofofCheng ChengVillage Villageexpanded expandedand andbecame becameintermixed intermixedwith withthe thecomcommunity munityliving livingononthe thehillock. hillock.Eventually Eventuallythe thetwo twocommunities communitieswere were formally formallycombined, combined,resulting resultingininwhat whatwas wasknown knownasasCheng ChengHillock Hillock Town, Town,which whichis istotosay, say,the thetown townofofChenggang. Chenggang. Eighty-nine Eighty-ninepercent percentofofthe theresidents residentsofofChenggang Chenggangwere weresursurnamed namedCheng Chengand andwere weredirect directdescendants descendantsofofthe theCheng ChengBrothers. Brothers. Ours Ourswas wasthe theonly onlyfamily familysurnamed surnamedGao Gaoininthe thearea, area,and andtherefore thereforeit it was wasremarkable remarkablethat thatI had I hadmanaged managedtotocarve carveout outa space a spaceforformyself myself and andenjoy enjoysuch sucha brilliant a brilliantcareer careerthese thesepast pastyears. years.For Forallallthis thisI had I had the thebright brightred redrevolution revolutiontotothank. thank.People Peoplewho whoare areexploited exploitedand and oppressed oppressedcan canfind findescape escapeonly onlyininrevolution, revolution,and andwithout withoutrevolurevolution tionthey theyhave havenonochoice choicebut buttotolive liveinindarkness. darkness.The Thestrong strongpass passofof thetheenemy enemyis islike likea awall wallofofiron, iron,yetyetwith withfirm firmstrides stridesweweareareconquering conquering itsitssummit. summit.You Youmustn’t mustn’tinterrupt interruptme, me,because becauseotherwise otherwiseI Iwon’t won’t bebeable abletotofinish finishtracing tracingmy mytale talefrom fromthe theeastern easterntotothe thewestern western mountains. mountains. Because Becausethe thedirector directorofofthe thecounty’ county’ s smilitary militaryaffairs affairsoffice officewas was attending attendinga meeting a meetingininthe themilitary militarysub-command sub-commandarea, area,I had I hadtotowait wait three threefull fulldays daysatatthe thecounty countyseat seatforformy mydemobilization demobilizationpapers paperstoto bebeprocessed. processed.During Duringthose thosethree threedays, days,I observed I observedthe thefiery fierydevelopdevelopment mentofofthe therevolution revolutionininthe thecounty countyseat seatand andfelt feltthat thatthroughout throughout 2626
the thenation nationananenormous enormouswave waveofofrevolutionary revolutionaryfervor fervorwas wassurging surging forth forthwith withthe thestrength strengthofoften tenthousand thousandhorses. horses. InInthe thecounty countyseat, seat,I felt I feltrestless. restless. InInChenggang, Chenggang,both bothrevolution revolutionand andlove lovehad hadbeen beenwaiting waitingforfor me meforfora along longtime. time.After Aftercompleting completingmy mydemobilization, demobilization,I returned I returned home. home.I rode I rodethe thebus busforforseventy-nine seventy-nineli,li,and andasasI was I waspassing passingunder under the theCheng ChengBrothers Brothersmemorial memorialarch, arch,my myblood bloodbegan begantotoboil, boil,my my palms palmsgrew grewsweaty, sweaty,and andI felt I felta sense a senseofofexcitement excitementthat thatwas wasjust justlike like the thecrazed crazedinfatuation infatuationI had I hadfelt feltthree threedays daysearlier earlierbybythe therailroad railroad tracks tracksoutside outsideofoftown. town.I decided I decidedthat thatthe thefirst firstthing thingI would I woulddodoasas soon soonasasI returned I returnedhome homewould wouldbebetototear teardown downthis thismemorial memorialarch. arch. The Thearch archhad hadbeen beenbuilt builtunder underfeudalism, feudalism,but buteven evennow, now,several several centuries centurieslater, later,when whenthe theresidents residentsofofChenggang Chengganghave havewedding weddingoror funeral funeralprocessions, processions,they theyalways alwayshave havetotodismount dismountand andpause pausetheir their music musicupon uponreaching reachingthe thearch. arch.Even Evenlong-distance long-distancebuses busesmust musthonk honk their theirhorns hornswhen whenpassing passingbeneath beneathit,it,ininorder ordertotoexpress expresstheir theirrespect respect forforthe theCheng Chengbrothers. brothers.I was I wassurprised surprisedtotodiscover discoverthat thatalthough although the therevolution revolutionwas wasspreading spreadingthroughout throughoutthe thenation, nation,even eventhe thedriver driver ofofthis thisbus busfrom fromthe thecity cityofofJiudu Jiudustill stillstopped stoppedunder underthe thearch archand and honked honkedhishisfucking fuckinghorn. horn.I didn’t I didn’tsay sayanything anythingtotohim. him.I knew I knewthat that asassoon soonasasI could I couldtear teardown downthat thatarch, arch,everything everythingwould wouldbebeover, over, and andthe thecurtains curtainswould wouldbeberaised raisedononthe thegreat greatrevolution. revolution. I Idisembarked disembarkedatatthe theChenggang Chenggangstop, stop,and andthe thefirst firstthing thingI I smelled smelledwas wasthe thetown’ town’ s stench s stenchand anddirt. dirt.The Thetown’ town’ s commune s communememmembers berswere werecarrying carryingnight nightsoil soilout outtotothe thewheat wheatfields fieldstotoserve serveasasfertilfertilizer. izer.There Therewas wasa large a largegroup groupofofthem, them,young youngand andold, old,and andtheir theirfaces faces allallhad hada arelaxed relaxedexpression. expression.After Afterthey theypassed passedby,by,there therewas wasa asense sense ofofidleness idlenessininthe thetown townstreets, streets,asaschickens chickenspecked peckedaround aroundforforfood food and andducks duckswandered wanderedover overwaddling waddlingtheir theirfatfatbutts. butts.InInthe thesunlight sunlightatat the thebase baseofofthe thegable gablewall wallofofmy myclassmate classmateCheng ChengQingdong’ Qingdong’ s house, s house, a asow sowwas wassleeping sleepingand anda adog dogwas waslying lyingnext nexttotoit,it,itsitshead headresting resting ononthe thesow’ sow’ s hind s hindleg. leg.What Whatwas waseven evenmore moreextraordinary, extraordinary,there therewas was a asparrow sparrowperched perchedononthe thesow’ sow’ s sbelly, belly,pecking peckingforforlice. lice.This Thisscene scene 2727
made madeyou youfeel feelthat thatyou youwere wereasasfarfarfrom fromthe therevolution revolutionasasYan’an Yan’anis is from fromHainan HainanIsland. Island.I felt I feltoddly oddlydisoriented, disoriented,asasthough thoughI had I hadjust just stepped steppeddirectly directlyfrom froma asweltering swelteringsummer summerinto intoa abitterly bitterlycold coldwinwinter. ter.OfOfcourse, course,I also I alsofelt feltwarmly warmlyaffectionate, affectionate,since sinceeverything everythingininthe the countryside countrysidewas wasasasfamiliar familiartotome measasthe theback backofofmy myhand. hand. I hoped I hopedI’dI’dsee seesomething somethingfresh freshand andnew, new,such suchasassome somebigbigcharacter characterposters postersalong alongmy mystreet streetororpeople peoplewith withred redarmbands armbandshurhurrying ryingalong. along. But ButI didn’t I didn’tsee seeany anyofofthese thesethings. things.Instead, Instead,everything everythingwas wasjust just asasI had I hadleft leftit.it.Flowing Flowingwater waterdoesn’t doesn’tbecome becomestagnant, stagnant,and andstagnant stagnant water waterdoesn’t doesn’tflow. flow.This Thiswas wastruly trulya apool poolofofstagnant stagnantwater. water. I stepped I steppedinto intothis thisstagnant stagnantpool; pool;I returned I returnedtotoChenggang. Chenggang.The The town townconsisted consistedofoffour fourstreets: streets:Front FrontCheng ChengStreet, Street,Center CenterCheng Cheng Street, Street,and andRear RearCheng ChengStreet, Street,together togetherwith witha mixed-surname a mixed-surnamestreet street behind behindCheng ChengTemple Templeforforother otherfamilies, families,which whichis isofofcourse coursewhere where wewelived. lived.On Onthe thewest westend endofofthe thestreet streetthere therewere werethree threetile-roofed tile-roofed houses, houses,with witha abare-ground bare-groundcourtyard courtyardand anda agate gateopening openingtotothe the south. south.This Thiswas wasthe thesimple, simple,ordinary ordinaryGao Gaohome. home.Just JustasasI was I wasabout about totoreach reachthe theentranceway, entranceway,a achild childfrom froma aneighboring neighboringhouse housesaw sawme me and andsmiled, smiled,then thensuddenly suddenlyshouted shoutedtoward towardmy myhouse, house,announcannouncing, ing,“Auntie “AuntieGuizhi, Guizhi,your yourhusband husbandhas hasreturned,” returned,”before beforerunning runningoffoff toward towardCenter CenterCheng ChengStreet. Street. My Mywife, wife,Guizhi, Guizhi,didn’t didn’tcome comeout outtotogreet greetme. me.Instead, Instead,asasI I was waspushing pushingopen openthe theunlatched unlatcheddoor, door,I saw I sawthat thatshe shewas wasout outininthe the courtyard courtyardrinsing rinsingwheat. wheat.Our Ourson, son,Hongsheng, Hongsheng,was wasstanding standingnext nexttoto her herusing usinga awillow willowbranch branchtotoshoo shooaway awaythe thechickens chickensand andsparrows sparrows that thathad hadgathered gatheredaround aroundthe thewheat wheatbasket. basket.Our Ourdaughter, daughter,Honghua, Honghua, who whowas wasabout abouta year a yearand anda half a halfold, old,was waslying lyingononGuizhi’ Guizhi’ s lap, s lap,apparapparently entlyasleep. asleep.This Thisscene scenewas wasexactly exactlylike likethe theone onewith withthe thechickens, chickens, ducks, ducks,pigs, pigs,and anddogs dogsthat thatI had I hadseen seenininthe theroad. road.The Themountain mountainsky sky and andthe therural ruralland landboth bothappeared appearedstagnant stagnantand andlifeless. lifeless. Holding Holdingmy mybag, bag,I stood I stoodinina acorner cornerofofthe thecourtyard. courtyard.
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When WhenGuizhi Guizhiand andmy myson sonheard heardthe thedoor dooropen, open,they theyboth both turned turnedaround. around.However, However,Guizhi Guizhididn’t didn’tcome comeand andtake takemy mybag, bag,nor nor did didshe sherealize realizethat thatthe theperson personstanding standingininfront frontofofher herwas wasa afuture future revolutionary. revolutionary.Instead, Instead,she shemerely merelystared staredforfora moment, a moment,then thensmiled smiled and andsaid, said,“You’re “You’reback? back?Didn’t Didn’tyou yousay sayyou youwould wouldbebereturning returninghome home a afew fewdays daysago?” ago?” Remembering Rememberingthe therevolution revolutionunfolding unfoldingininthe thecity cityand andthe thescene scene bybythe therailroad railroadtracks, tracks,I replied, I replied,“I“Iwas wasdelayed delayedininthe thecity.” city.” She Shesaid, said,“Come “Comeinside. inside.Why Whyare areyou youstill stillstanding standingthere?” there?” She Sheadded, added,“Hongsheng, “Hongsheng,greet greetyour yourdad. dad.Did Didyou yousay sayit?it?Greet Greet your yourdad.” dad.” Hongsheng, Hongsheng,who whowas wasalready alreadyfive fiveyears yearsold, old,didn’t didn’tsay sayanyanything, thing,and andinstead insteadheheand andHonghua, Honghua,now nowawake, awake,kept keptwatching watchingme me timidly, timidly,asasthough thoughthis thiswere werenot noteven evenmy myhome. home.AtAtthat thatmoment, moment,I I began begantotoregret regrethaving havingproceeded proceededwith withthe thedemobilization demobilizationprocess. process. I remembered I rememberedwhat whatour ourcommanding commandingofficer officerininthe theregiment regimenthad had always alwayssaid: said:“The “Therevolution revolutionhas hasnot notyet yetsucceeded, succeeded,sosowewemust must continue continuetotostruggle.” struggle.”AsAsI was I wascarrying carryingmy mybags bagsinside, inside,I took I tookthe the opportunity opportunitytotomove moveseveral severalbenches benchesnext nexttotothe theouter outerwall. wall.I looked I looked around aroundthe thetwo twoinner innerrooms, rooms,then thenasked, asked,“Where’ “Where’ s smy mymother?” mother?” Continuing Continuingtotorinse rinsethe thegrain grainwithout withouteven eventurning turningaround, around,Guizhi Guizhi replied, replied,“She “Shewanted wantedsome somepeace peaceand andquiet, quiet,sososhe shewent wenttotolive liveonon the theCheng ChengClan ClanHillock.” Hillock.” My Myheart heartskipped skippeda beat; a beat;it itwas wasasasthough thougha bullet a bullethad hadexploded exploded ininmy mychest. chest.But ButI didn’t I didn’tsay saya aword wordand andinstead insteadangrily angrilyground groundmy my foot footagainst againstthe thefloor. floor.I then I thenwent wentback backoutside outsideand andstood stoodunder underthe the building’ building’ s eaves. s eaves.I looked I lookedtoward towardthe thehillock hillockbehind behindthe thetown, town,but butallall I could I couldsee seewas wasthe theQixian QixianGreat GreatHall HallininCheng ChengTemple’ Temple’ s rear s rearcourtcourtyard yardand anda acorner cornerofofthe theTaoist TaoistHall Hallininthe themiddle middlecourtyard. courtyard.The The wind windchimes chimeshanging hangingfrom fromthe thefour fourcorners cornersofofthe thehall hallwere wereclanging clanging noisily, noisily,and andthe thesound soundcut cutthrough throughthe thecourtyard. courtyard.When WhenI saw I sawCheng Cheng Temple, Temple,my myheart heartsank, sank,and andI vowed I vowedthat thatone oneday daynot notonly onlywould wouldI I
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demolish demolishthe thememorial memorialarch, arch,I would I wouldburn burndown downthe thetemple templeitself. itself. Ever Eversince sinceI had I hadmoved movedtotothe thetown townfrom fromthe theCheng ChengClan ClanHillock, Hillock,I I had hadlonged longedtotodestroy destroythe thememorial memorialarch archand andburn burndown downthe thetemple. temple. After Afterhaving havingserved servedininthe thearmy armyforforfour fouryears, years,I was I wasmore moredetermined determined than thanever. ever.AtAtthat thatmoment, moment,my myson, son,Hongsheng, Hongsheng,shouted, shouted,“Dad!” “Dad!”My My heart heartmelted meltedatatthe thesound soundofofhishisvoice, voice,and andI patted I pattedhishishead. head. I said, I said,“Call “Callme me‘Pa,’ ‘Pa,’child. child.InInthe thecity, city,everyone everyonesays saysPa.” Pa.” Hongsheng Hongshengshook shookhishishead. head. I said, I said,“OK, “OK,then thencall callme meDad Dad. .. .. Go, . Go,if ifyou yougogoinside insideand andlook look ininthe theyellow yellowbag, bag,you’ll you’llfind findsome somecandy.” candy.” After Aftereating eatingthe thecandy, candy,the thechildren childrenkept keptshouting shouting“Dad, “Dad,Dad!” Dad!” asasthough though“Dad” “Dad”were werethe theonly onlyperson personininthe theworld worldcapable capableofofgiving giving them themcandy. candy.AtAtthat thattime, time,allallcandy candywas waswrapped wrappedininthin thinred redoilpaper oilpaper printed printedwith withsayings sayingslike likeFight FightSelfishness Selfishnessand andCriticize CriticizeRevisionism. Revisionism. When Whenthe thechildren childrenthrew threwtheir theirwrappers wrappersonto ontothe thepile pileofofpig pigmanure manure and andchicken chickendroppings droppingsininthe thecourtyard, courtyard,I quickly I quicklyretrieved retrievedthem. them.I I told toldthe thechildren childrennot nottotothrow throwaway awaytheir theirwrappers, wrappers,because becausedoing doingsoso would wouldbebereactionary. reactionary.The Thechildren childrendidn’t didn’tunderstand understandwhat whatI was I wastalktalking ingabout, about,sosoGuizhi Guizhiturned turnedtotome meand andobserved, observed,“This “Thisis isthe thecouncountryside, tryside,not notyour yourarmy armyregiment.” regiment.”I initially I initiallywanted wantedtotoexplain explainthat that the therevolution revolutionunfolding unfoldingininthe thecity cityand andthe thecounty countyseat seathad hadalready already enveloped envelopedheaven heavenand andearth, earth,and andthat thatit itwas wasprecisely preciselyforforthe thesake sakeofof the therevolution revolutionthat thatI had I hadbeen beendemobilized demobilizedand andreturned returnedhome—but home—but when whenI saw I sawGuizhi’ Guizhi’ s look s lookofofdisdain, disdain,asasthick thickasasthe thecourtyard courtyardwall, wall,I I had hadnonochoice choicebut buttotobite bitemy mytongue. tongue.Moreover, Moreover,her herface faceappeared appearedsoso dusty dustyand anddark, dark,it itwas wasasasthough thoughit ithad hadnever neverbeen beenwashed—which washed—which reminded remindedme meagain againofofwhat whathad hadhappened happenedtotome mebybythe therailroad railroadtracks tracks outside outsideofoftown. town.This, This,too, too,made mademe meswallow swallowwhat whatI was I wasabout abouttotosay. say. AllAllofofa sudden, a sudden,I didn’t I didn’teven evenwant wanttotolook lookatatmy mywife. wife. I once I onceagain againstared staredupupatatthe theeaves eavesofofCheng ChengTemple. Temple. AtAtthat thatmoment, moment,a child a childwho whohad hadjust justrun runinto intothe thealley alleydashed dashed into intomy myhome homeand andshouted, shouted,“Uncle “UncleAijun, Aijun,the thebranch branchsecretary secretarywants wants you youtotoreport reportimmediately.” immediately.” 3030
Guizhi Guizhiremoved removeda asoaking-wet soaking-wetbundle bundleofofwheat wheatand andplaced placedit it ononthe theedge edgeofofthe thebasin. basin.It Itwas wasasasif ifthe thechild childwho whohad hadrun runininhad had reminded remindedher herofofsomething somethingvery veryimportant. important.With Witha lively a livelyexpression, expression, she sheshouted, shouted,“Go “Goquickly! quickly!My Myfather fatherasked askedforforyou youtotogogosee seehim himasas soon soonasasyou youreturned, returned,but butwhile whileI was I wasrinsing rinsingthe thegrain grainI forgot I forgottoto tell tellyou.” you.”Then Thenshe sheasked, asked,“What “Whatdid didyou youbring bringmy myfather? father?HeHelikes likes candy candyand andcanned cannedgoods goodsfrom fromthe thecity.” city.”She Sheadded, added,“Hongsheng “Hongshengand and Honghua, Honghua,gogowith withyour yourfather fathertotosee seeyour yourgrandfather. grandfather.Ask Askhim himif if hehewants wantsany anyeggs eggsand andnoodles, noodles,and andif ifhehedoes, does,I’llI’lltake takehim himsome some this thisafternoon.” afternoon.”
2.2.A AHistory HistoryofofMarriage Marriageoutside outsidethe theRevolution Revolution I should I shouldexplain explainthat thatmy myfather-in-law father-in-lawwas wasalso alsoa Chenggang a Chenggangrevolurevolutionary. tionary.HeHeserved servedasasa amail mailcourier courierforforthe theEighth EighthRoute RouteArmy, Army,and and after afterLiberation Liberationwas wasappointed appointedtotothe theposition positionofofvillage villagebranch branchsecresecretary. tary.The Thedozen dozenororsosofamilies familiesliving livingininthe theCheng ChengClan ClanHillock Hillockwere were originally originallya aproduction productionteam teambelonging belongingtotothe theZhaozhuang ZhaozhuangBrigade Brigade five fiveli liaway. away.AtAtthe thetime, time,Cheng ChengVillage Villagewas wasonly onlya asmall smalllocal localmarmarket ketcommunity communitywhere wherethe thetownship townshipgovernment governmentoffice officewas waslocated. located. The Thetownship’ township’ s mayor, s mayor,Cheng ChengTianmin, Tianmin,was wasa atwentieth-generation twentieth-generation descendant descendantofofthe theCheng ChengBrothers. Brothers.InIn1964, 1964,the thegovernment governmentdecided decided totoelevate elevateCheng ChengVillage Villagetotothe thestatus statusofofa atown, town,but butininorder ordertotododo sosothey theyneeded neededtotofind finda away waytotoincrease increasethe thesize sizeofofthe thecommunity. community. Therefore, Therefore,Mayor MayorCheng ChengTianmin Tianminand andmy myfuture futurefather-in-law, father-in-law,village village chief chiefCheng ChengTianqing, Tianqing,held helda ameeting meetingand anddecided decidedtotohave haveCheng Cheng Village Villageabsorb absorbthe thedozen dozenororsosofamilies familiescurrently currentlyliving livingononthe thehillock, hillock, sosothat thatit itcould couldbebepromoted promotedfrom froma village a villageinto intoa town. a town.The Theresidents residents ofofCheng ChengClan ClanHillock Hillockmoved moveddown downand andbuilt builta row a rowofofhouses housesbehind behind Cheng ChengTemple, Temple,thereby therebybecoming becomingmembers membersofofCheng ChengVillage. Village. After Afterjoining joiningCheng ChengVillage, Village,I became I becamethe theson-in-law son-in-lawofofCheng Cheng Tianqing, Tianqing,who whowas wasnow nowthe thetown’ town’ s sParty Partybranch branchsecretary. secretary.On Onthe the day dayofofour ourmove, move,asasmy mymother motherand andI were I werecleaning cleaningupupour ournew new 3131
tile-roofed tile-roofedhouse, house,the thebranch branchsecretary secretaryambled ambledover. over.HeHedidn’t didn’tsitsit ininthe theseat seatI brought I broughtover overtotohim himnor nordid didhehedrink drinkfrom fromthe theglass glassofof water watermy mymother motheroffered offeredhim. him.Instead, Instead,hehesimply simplystood stoodininthat thatnew new house housewith withhishishands handsbehind behindhishisback backand andgazed gazedatatthe thewalls, walls,atatthe the ground, ground,and andatatthe thebeams beamsand andrafters. rafters.Then Thenhehetouched touchedthe thetwo twopaupaulownia lowniatrees—each trees—eachofofwhich whichhad hada trunk a trunkasaswide wideasasa rice a ricebowl—that bowl—that were weregrowing growingininwhat whathad hadnow nowbecome becomethe thehouse’ house’ s scourtyard courtyardand and said, said,“Technically, “Technically,these thesetrees treesshould shouldbebepublic publicproperty, property,but butnow nowit it appears appearsthat thatthey theybelong belongtotoyour yourGao Gaofamily.” family.” Overjoyed, Overjoyed,my mymother mothergazed gazedatatthe thebranch branchsecretary. secretary.“Is“Isthat that OK?” OK?” The Thebranch branchsecretary secretarysaid, said,“If“IfI say I sayit’sit’OK, s OK,then thenit’sit’OK. s OK.That’ That’ ss why whyI’m I’mthe thebranch branchsecretary. secretary.What’ What’ s more, s more,I was I wasclose closetotoyour yourson’ son’ ss father, father,and andnow nowthat thathe’he’ s sgone, gone,who’ who’ s sgoing goingtotolook lookafter afteryou youand and your yourson, son,if ifnot notme?” me?” My My mother mother quickly quickly poured poured away away the the cup cup ofof water water that that the the branch branch secretary secretaryhadn’t hadn’ttouched. touched.Then Thenshe shewent wentback backinto intothe thekitchen kitchentoto poach poachananegg, egg,even evenadding addingsome somebrown brownsugar. sugar.After Afterthe thebranch branchsecsecretary retaryfinished finishedthe theegg, egg,heheturned turnedand andlooked lookedme meover overfrom fromhead headtoto toe. toe.HeHesaid, said,“You’re “You’reeighteen? eighteen?You’re You’reininhigh highschool schoolininthe thecounty county seat? seat?I hear I hearthat thatyou’re you’reone oneofofthe thetop topstudents studentsininyour yourclass?” class?”AtAt that thatpoint pointI was I wasstill stillyoung youngand andnaïve, naïve,and andI didn’t I didn’trealize realizethat thatthe the branch branchsecretary secretarywas washoping hopingtotomake makeme mehishisson-in-law. son-in-law.Blushing, Blushing,I I replied repliedtotohim, him,never neverexpecting expectingthat thata amatchmaker matchmakerwould wouldcome cometoto our ourhome homethat thatvery verynight. night. The Thematchmaker matchmakersaid saidtotomy mymother, mother,“Joyous “Joyousnews! news!The Thebranch branch secretary secretaryhas hastaken takena aliking likingtotoyour yourson, son,Aijun.” Aijun.” I got I gotmarried marriedshortly shortlyafter aftergraduating graduatingfrom fromhigh highschool. school.Guizhi Guizhi was wasthe thebranch branchsecretary’ secretary’ s third s thirddaughter. daughter.She Shehad hada completely a completelyordiordinary naryappearance, appearance,like likea hill a hillcovered coveredininyellow yellowearth. earth.She Shewas wasactually actually a year a yearyounger youngerthan thanme mebut butlooked lookedthree threetotofive fiveyears yearsolder. older.I’m I’mnot not sure surewhy whyshe sheappeared appearedsosomuch mucholder olderthan thanme. me.Was Wasit itbecause becauseshe she was wassososhort shortororbecause becauseher herskin skinwas wassosodark? dark?OrOrwas wasit itbecause because 3232
even evenwhen whenher heruncombed uncombedhair haircascaded cascadeddown downit itcouldn’t couldn’tconceal concealthe the countless countlessmoles molesthat thatcovered coveredher herface? face?The Thefirst firsttime timeI saw I sawGuizhi, Guizhi, the thematchmaker matchmakerhad hadled ledme meinto intoher herhouse houselike likea amule. mule.InInGuizhi’ Guizhi’ ss room, room,the thewall wallwas wascovered coveredininold oldnewspapers, newspapers,the thesheets sheetsfolded foldedinto into long longstrips, strips,asasthough thougha alarge largedam damwere werepositioned positionedagainst againstthe thewall. wall. When WhenI saw I sawher herappearance, appearance,I suddenly I suddenlyfelt feltasasthough thoughthere therewas wasa a clump clumpofofcotton cottonininmy mythroat throatthat thatI needed I neededtotospit spitout. out.The Thebranch branch secretary secretaryentered enteredafter afterhishisdaughter daughterand andsaid, said,“The “Thetwo twoofofyou youcan can talk talktotoeach eachother. other.I am I ama aParty Partymember memberand anda acadre, cadre,and andwhen whenwewe hold holdgeneral generalmeetings meetingsforforcommune communemembers, members,I always I alwaysstress stressthe the importance importanceofofbeing beingable abletotomarry marrywhomever whomeveryou youwant.” want.”HeHesaid, said, “Aijun, “Aijun,my mychild. child.I saw I sawthat thatyour yourfather fatherdied diedearly, early,which whichmakes makesyou you a descendant a descendantofofthe therevolution. revolution.Your Yourgrades gradesininthe thecounty countyhigh highschool school weren’t weren’tbad—and bad—andseeing seeingthat, that,I agreed I agreedtotoletletmy mydaughter daughterGuizhi Guizhi become becomeengaged engagedtotoyou. you.After Afterthe thetwo twoofofyou youget getmarried marriedand andhave have a achild, child,I’llI’llsend sendyou youtotojoin jointhe thearmy. army.InInthe thearmy, army,you youcan canjoin jointhe the Party, Party,and andafter afteryou youreturn returnI’llI’llhelp helpmake makeyou youa avillage villagecadre.” cadre.” Guizhi Guizhiasked, asked,“Why “Whyaren’t aren’tyou yousaying sayinganything?” anything?” I looked I lookedupupatather. her. Guizhi Guizhiasked, asked,“Do “Doyou youresent resentthe thefact factthat thatI’m I’mugly? ugly?And Andif if we’re we’respeaking speakingfreely, freely,can canI say I saythat thatI resent I resentthe thefact factthat thatyour yourfamily family is isdirt-poor?” dirt-poor?” I said, I said,“Why “Whyaren’t aren’tyou youininschool?” school?” Guizhi Guizhisaid, said,“The “Theblack blackChinese Chinesecharacters charactersininthe thetextbooks textbooks look looklike likea acloud cloudofofgnats gnatsswarming swarmingininfront frontofofme, me,and andwhen whenI try I try totoread, read,my myhead headfeels feelslike likeit’sit’about s abouttotoexplode.” explode.” I said, I said,“Can “Canyour yourfather fatherreally reallyhelp helpme mebecome becomea village a villagecadre?” cadre?” Guizhi Guizhisaid, said,“Didn’t “Didn’tyou youhear hearwhat whathehejust justsaid? said?A Ayear yearafter after weweget getmarried, married,and andafter afterwe’ve we’vehad hada achild, child,he’ll he’llsend sendyou youtotojoin join the thearmy.” army.” I said, I said,“Why “Whydodowewehave havetotohave havea child a childbefore beforeI join I jointhe thearmy?” army?” Guizhi Guizhisaid, said,“If“Ifwewedon’t don’thave havea achild, child,how howcould couldI be I beassured assured ofofyour yourlove?” love?” 3333
I said, I said,“When “Whencould couldweweget getmarried?” married?” Guizhi Guizhisaid, said,“If“Ifit itwere wereupuptotome, me,we’d we’dget getmarried marriedininthe thefirst first lunar lunarmonth monthofofthis thisyear.” year.” I said, I said,“Our “Ourfamily’ family’ s spigs pigsare arenot notfully fullygrown, grown,which whichmeans meansI I don’t don’tyetyethave haveenough enoughmoney moneytotoget getmarried.” married.” Guizhi Guizhisaid, said,“My “Myfamily familyhas hasalready alreadyprepared prepareda adowry, dowry,and and whatever whateveryour yourfamily familyneeds, needs,mine minecan canprovide. provide.But Butthere thereis isone one condition, condition,which whichis isthat thatafter afterwewemarry, marry,you youmust mustdodoasasI say. I say.If Ifyour your mother mothermakes makesme meangry, angry,I’llI’llsmash smasha bowl a bowlininfront frontofofyou, you,and andif ifyou you make makeme meangry, angry,I’llI’llhang hangmyself myselfininfront frontofofyou.” you.” InInthe thefirst firstlunar lunarmonth monthofofthat thatyear, year,wewegot gotmarried. married.
3.3.Entering EnteringCheng ChengTemple Templefor forthe theFirst FirstTime Time I quickly I quicklyled ledmy myson sontotomy myfather-in-law’ father-in-law’ s house. s house.When Whenwewearrived, arrived, my myfather-in-law father-in-lawwas wassitting sittinginina arocking rockingchair chairininthe thesun, sun,smoking smoking and andplaying playingwith withhishisfamily’ family’ s sdog. dog.(Is(Isthis thiswhat whatlandowners landownersininthe the old oldsociety societywere werelike?) like?)HeHelooked lookedatatthe thebags bagsand andcans cansofofsweets sweetsI I had hadbrought broughthim, him,and andasked, asked,“Are “Arethese thesefrom fromJiudu, Jiudu,ororare arethey theyour our county’ county’ s local s localproducts?” products?” I replied, I replied,“I“Ibought boughtthem theminina grocery a grocerystore storeininJiudu. Jiudu.They Theywere were produced producedininZhengzhou, Zhengzhou,the theprovincial provincialcapital.” capital.” HeHetook tookthem themfrom fromme meand andbegan begansniffing sniffingthem themlike likea adog. dog. HeHesaid, said,“Not “Notbad. bad.They Theysmell smellvery verysweet.” sweet.”Then Thenheheadded, added,“You “You should shouldtake takethese theseinto intothe thetemple templeand andgogosee seeyour yourUncle UncleTianmin, Tianmin, who whorecently recentlystepped steppeddown downfrom fromhishisposition positionasasmayor mayorand andnow now lives livesininthe thetemple, temple,enjoying enjoyingpeace peaceand andquiet quietand andreading readingold oldbooks books every everyday.” day.” I emerged I emergedfrom frommy myfather-in-law’ father-in-law’ s house. s house.HeHehadn’t hadn’tmentioned mentioned wanting wantingtotoprepare prepareme metotobebea avillage villagecadre, cadre,nor norhad hadhehementioned mentioned the therevolution revolutionororthe thevillage’ village’ s snature, nature,a apool poolofofstagnant stagnantwater. water.InIn fact, fact,hehehadn’t hadn’teven eveninvited invitedme metotositsitdown, down,nor norhad hadheheinvited invitedhishis grandson grandsonHongsheng Hongshengtotoeateatsomething, something,letletalone aloneasked askedme meabout aboutmy my 3434
experience experienceand anddeeds deedsininthe thearmy. army.Instead, Instead,hehesimply simplytold toldme metotoleave leave hishishouse, house,and andsaid saidthat thatmy mychildren childrenand andI should I shouldgogototoCheng ChengTemTemple. ple.Revolution Revolutionis isnotnotananinvitation invitationtotoa dinner a dinnerparty, party,nor noris isit ita distribution a distribution ofofgifts; gifts;it itis isnot notananexchange exchangeofofflattering flatteringand andfavors, favors,nor noris isit itpainting paintingand and embroidery. embroidery.Nevertheless, Nevertheless,I had I hadnonochoice choicebut buttotovisit visitCheng ChengTianmin. Tianmin. HeHewas wasthe theformer formermayor mayorand andthe themost mostvisible visiblerepresentative representativeofofthe the historical historicalCheng ChengHao. Hao.His Hisancestors ancestorsincluded includedindividuals individualswho whohad had passed passedthe theimperial imperialexaminations, examinations,and andthose thoseofofhishisgrandfather’ grandfather’ s gens generation erationwere werexiucai xiucaischolars. scholars.AsAsforforCheng ChengTianmin Tianminhimself, himself,before before the therevolution revolutionhehehad hadserved servedasasthe theprincipal principalofofthe thecounty countyschool, school, and andininthe thefirst firstyear yearafter afterLiberation, Liberation,the thegovernment governmentrecruited recruitedhim him asasa aprominent prominentnon-Party non-Partyfigure figureand andappointed appointedhim himtotoserve serveasasthe the inaugural inauguraldirector directorofofthe thecounty’ county’ s education s educationbureau. bureau.It Itwas wassaid saidthat that when whenthe thegovernment governmenttried triedtotoappoint appointhim himtotobebecounty countyhead, head,hehe sensed sensedthe thecomplex complexformidability formidabilityofofthe therevolution revolutionand andtherefore therefore chose choseinstead insteadtotoserve serveinina alower lowerposition positionasastown townmayor. mayor.ToTothis this day, day,from fromthe thegrasslands grasslandsofofInner InnerMongolia Mongoliatotothe thefishing fishingvillages villagesofof Hainan HainanIsland, Island,from fromthe theGobi GobiDesert Desertininthe thenorthwest northwesttotothe thegulf gulfofof Bohai Bohaiininthe thenortheast northeastand andthe theregion regionofofrice riceand andfish fishininthe thesouth, south,the the revolution revolutionwas wasraging, raging,with withred redbanners bannersflying flyingand andtrumpets trumpetsblaring. blaring. It Itwas wasprecisely preciselyatatthis thispoint pointthat thatheheproposed proposedtotostep stepdown downfrom fromhishis position positionasasmayor. mayor.Was Washeheafraid afraidofofthe therevolutionary revolutionarystorm, storm,ororwas was hehestepping steppingdown downprecisely preciselyininorder ordertotoadvance advancefurther, further,like likea awily wily hare harewith withthree threesecret secretburrows? burrows?Once Once(when (whenI was I wasstill stillasassmall smallasasanan ant), ant),I saw I sawhim himininthe thestreet streetwhile whileaccompanying accompanyingmy mymother mothertotothe the Cheng ChengVillage Villagemarket, market,but butmy mymother motherquickly quicklypulled pulledme metotothe theside side ofofthe theroad, road,and andafter afterwaiting waitingforforhim himtotopass, pass,she shepointed pointedtotohim himand and said, said,“My “Mychild, child,that thatis isthe themayor. mayor.If Ifonly onlyyou youcould couldhave haveeven evenhalf halfofof hishiseducation educationand andbecome becomea village a villagecadre cadrewhen whenyou yougrow growup, up,I would I would feel feelthat thatmy mywidowhood widowhoodhad hadnot notbeen beenininvain.” vain.”Why Whydid didshe shethink thinkI I would wouldbebeable abletotobecome becomeonly onlya village a villagecadre? cadre?Why Whydidn’t didn’tshe sheexpect expect me metotobecome becomethe thevillage villagechief chieforortown townmayor, mayor,ororeven eventhe thecounty county head headorordistrict districtcommissioner? commissioner?InInthe thecourses coursesI took I tookwhile whileininthe the 3535
army, army,didn’t didn’tthe thepolitical politicalinstructor instructorand andthe theregimental regimentalcommander commander keep keeptelling tellingusushow howLin LinBiao Biaowas wasappointed appointeddivision divisioncommander commanderatat the theage ageofoftwenty? twenty?The Theworld worldis isyours, yours,and andit itis isalso alsoours. ours.If Ifweweare arelike like the themorning morningsun, sun,then thenaren’t aren’tyou youlike likethe theevening eveningsun, sun,meaning meaningthat that you youmust mustsoon soonsetsetbelow belowthe thewestern westernhorizon? horizon? Cheng ChengTemple Templewas waslocated locatedatatthe theend endofofRear RearCheng ChengStreet. Street. With WithHongsheng Hongshengcarrying carryingthose thosetwo twoboxes boxesofofsweets sweetsand andme mecarrycarrying ingthe thefour fourcans, cans,weweproceeded proceededfrom fromCenter CenterCheng ChengStreet’ Street’ s second s second alley alleytotoRear RearCheng ChengStreet. Street.When Whenweweencountered encounteredpeople peoplealong alongthe the way, way,they theyallallrepeated repeatedthe thesame samething: thing:“Aijun, “Aijun,did didyou youleave leavethe the army?” army?”I would I wouldsimply simplysmile smileand andnod nodand andthen thentake takea aGolden GoldenLeaf Leaf cigarette cigaretteout outofofmy mypocket pocketand andhand handit ittotothem. them.They Theywould wouldask, ask, “Where “Whereare areyou yougoing?” going?”totowhich whichI would I wouldreply, reply,“I’m “I’mgoing goingtotosee seethe the former formermayor, mayor,who’ who’ s waiting s waitingforforme meininthe thetemple.” temple.”They Theywould wouldsay, say, “Aijun, “Aijun,if ifyou youbecome becomea avillage villagecadre, cadre,you youshould shouldremember remembertotolook look out outforforyour yourfellow fellowbrothers,” brothers,”totowhich whichI would I wouldsay, say,“Look “Lookatathow how lifeless lifelessthe themayor mayoris.is.How Howcould couldI possibly I possiblybecome becomea avillage villagecadre?” cadre?” AtAtthis thispoint, point,if ifthe theperson personI encountered I encounteredwas wasliterate literateand andcould couldsee see and andthink thinkclearly, clearly,hehemight mightsay, say,“If“Ifyou youcan canachieve achievethe therevolutionrevolutionary ary‘three-in-one ‘three-in-onecombination’—featuring combination’—featuringa acollaboration collaborationbetween between cadres, cadres,technicians, technicians,and andworkers—that workers—thatcould couldmake makeyou youa averitable veritable youth youthcadre!” cadre!” I resolved I resolvedthat thatif ifI ever I evercame cametotopower, power,I would I wouldbebesure suretototreat treat this thisperson personwell. well.AsAslong longasashishisfamily familydidn’t didn’thave haveany anypolitical politicalprobproblems, lems,then thenwhen whenit itwas wastime timetotoirrigate irrigatethe thefields, fields,I could I couldletlethishisfamily family get getwater waterfirst, first,and andwhen whenit itwas wastime timetotobuy buyfertilizer, fertilizer,I could I couldletlethishis family familypurchase purchaseseveral severaldozen dozenjin. jin.I would I woulddodothis thisbecause becausethis thiswas was what whatI had I hadtotodo. do.Why? Why?Because BecauseI, I,Gao GaoAijun, Aijun,am ama aconscientious conscientious revolutionary. revolutionary. This Thiswas wasbefore beforelunch. lunch.Most Mostofofthe themen menwho whohad hadgone goneinto into the thefields fieldshadn’t hadn’tyetyetreturned, returned,and andthe thewomen womenwere werestill stillatathome home cooking. cooking.AsAsI was I waswalking walkingalong alongRear RearCheng ChengStreet, Street,I could I couldsee seethe the sound soundofofthe thebellows bellowsfrom fromeach eachfamily’ family’ s stove, s stove,scurrying scurryingout outlike likea a 3636