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Much Ado About Nothing

BOOKS IN THE STAGED COLLECTION THE COMEDIES

As You Like It

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Much Ado About Nothing

THE TRAGEDIES

Hamlet Macbeth

Romeo and Juliet

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First published in the UK by Penguin Books 2024

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This edition copyright © Penguin Books, 2024 Foreword copyright © Holly Bourne, 2024

Endmatter copyright © Penguin Books, 2024

Back cover flowers copyright © Adobe Stock, 2024

Illustrations by Lucie Corbasson-Guévenoux (Lucie Louxor), 2024

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isbn: 978–0–241–68205–0

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FOREWORD

BY HOLLY BOURNE

I’m not sure I’m allowed to say this in the foreword to one of his actual plays, but I’ve never been the biggest fan of Shakespeare. Maybe I got the wrong plays to study at school? They all seemed to be about historical blokes murdering each other to be king, which made no sense to me as being king seemed to be a daily struggle not to get murdered. Or I’d have to study the ‘comedies’ – where my English teacher painstakingly explained each joke and promised my class it would’ve been hilarious in Elizabethan times. None of his work seemed particularly relevant to my life, or my interests –  but, then again, I hadn’t yet discovered the utter perfection of Much Ado About Nothing.

I initially came across this play via the film version. I had a huge teenage crush on Keanu Reeves, and heard he played the villain in this, while wandering about topless, covered in oil and

wearing leather trousers. I was all set to fast forward through the opening credits to the leather trousers, my finger hovering over the button, when I heard the character Beatrice recite the poem ‘Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more.’ I turned up the volume and listened. Then I rewound it and played it again. It was a song basically saying ‘men are trash’ but in gorgeous Shakespearean prose, and I became an instant convert.

The week before, my best friend had been cheated on by her first boyfriend, and I’d diligently organised an ‘anti-men’ sleepover. We’d all ended up making ourselves ‘Spinster Club’ membership cards (this sleepover would later inspire my Spinster Club book series), and Beatrice and her poem would’ve fitted right in. For the first time, the Bard became relevant to my life, and I started to understand why he was so beloved.

I came for Keanu, but I stayed for Beatrice. I don’t think there’s been a better female lead character in all life, not just Shakespeare plays. She’s a feminist force – refusing to marry because she hasn’t met her equal and doesn’t want to exchange her freedom for a controlling husband. She also calls out Claudio for falsely accusing her beloved cousin, Hero, of cheating on him. Plus, she’s super intelligent and super funny, but vulnerable and human underneath her sharp tongue and wit.

It’s been said a thousand times before, but Much Ado About

Nothing is the original romantic comedy. The love affair between Beatrice and Benedick is a pitch-perfect example of the enemiesto-lovers trope, except, back then, it wasn’t a trope. Just as Shakespeare may have invented many words we still use today (my favourite being ‘eyeball’), almost all of the romcom’s generic conventions originated in this play. I’ll always say there’s nothing better than watching or reading the dialogue of two people who really fancy each other, and the banter between Beatrice and Benedick is effortlessly joyful. There’s something so wonderfully . . . British, too, about the way they take the piss out of each other. I’m also a huge fan of characters swearing off love forever only to have their heart swayed by the end.

Finally, be still my beating heart for the trope of ‘fake’ situations revealing very true feelings. Romcoms thrive on misdirection, misunderstanding, overhearing things you shouldn’t, and everything being solvable if only the love interests would have a conversation but refusing to do so before the happily-ever-after. Shakespeare created these tropes and executed them perfectly, and it therefore makes sense that Much Ado About Nothing has been made and remade hundreds of times, in various forms, set in various time periods, and has always been adored by swooning audiences. Although all adaptations should involve Keanu in leather trousers, in my scholarly opinion.

Much Ado About Nothing

THE CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

don pedro, Prince of Arragon

benedick, a gentleman from Padua, companion of Don Pedro

claudio, a young lord from Florence, companion of Don Pedro

don john, brother of Don Pedro

borachio

conrade

followers of Don John

leonato, Governor of Messina

hero, Leonato’s daughter

beatrice, Leonato’s orphaned niece

margaret

ursula

attendants on Hero

antonio, elderly brother of Leonato

balthasar, a singer

friar

francis, a priest

dogberry, Master Constable of Messina

verges, Dogberry’s colleague

THE CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

first watchman

second watchman

sexton messengers

boy, servant to Benedick

lord

Antonio’s son

Attendants and Musicians in Leonato’s household

ACT I

SCENE I

BEFORE LEONATO’S HOUSE

Enter Leonato, Hero, Beatrice and a Messenger

l eonato

I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina.

m essenger

He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him.

l eonato

How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

m essenger

But few of any sort, and none of name.

l eonato

A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.

m essenger

Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a lion. He hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how.

l eonato

He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it.

m essenger

I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him, even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness.

l eonato

Did he break out into tears?

m essenger

In great measure.

l eonato

A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!

b eatrice

I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no?

m essenger

I know none of that name, lady. There was none such in the army of any sort.

l eonato

What is he that you ask for, niece?

h ero

My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

m essenger

O, he’s returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.

b eatrice

He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight, and my uncle’s fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid and challenged him at the bird- bolt.

I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

l eonato

Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much. But he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not.

m essenger

He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

b eatrice

You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it. He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach.

m essenger

And a good soldier too, lady.

b eatrice

And a good soldier to a lady. But what is he to a lord?

m essenger

A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honourable virtues.

b eatrice

It is so, indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man. But for the stuffing –  well, we are all mortal.

l eonato

You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her. They never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.

b eatrice

Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one. So that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

m essenger

Is’t possible?

b eatrice

Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.

m essenger

I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.

b eatrice

No. An he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

m essenger

He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.