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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 1950’S 4 TON HYDRAULIC JACK $50; FENDER Starcaster, 2 AMP’s, stand, 2 cases, more $200; boat ladder $25; fireplace screen, tools $25; 1959 7.5HP Scott Atwater with tank, runs $200 (775)342-9718 QUALITY HOME MAINTENANCE AND IMPROVEMENTS, prompt, honest and reliable, fair pricing, all work guaranteed, call for free estimate and visit! Frank (775)309-7299 FORD F-150 WHEELS AND TIRES, BRAND new and balanced, 18” spoke, aluminum painted pockets, Michelin Primacy XC 275/65R18, all terrain, all four $1,000, Jim (775)265-4945, Connie (775)790-1042 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175

NEED ESTIMATE FOR CONVERTING 8’X40’ DECK to screen porch; I also need deck refinishing and interior painting, located near Coleville (831)206-9887 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766 USED GOLF CLUB SETS, 4 SETS, RIGHT hand, new style clubs including bag, balls, etc., starting at $100 (775)297-6862 SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095 WANTED! RECORD ALBUMS 1950’S - 1970’S, Call Eric (775)790-2222 INJURED INK TATTOOS - $100 PER HOUR for a limited time! 2049 California St. #2 Carson City, NV. Call Today! (775)515-4444 SHIATSU ELECTRIC FOOT MASSAGE FOR SALE $75 (775)463-0062

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Best of Reno

sierraair.com

Presented by:

reno gazette journal

Dirt Roads

What’s mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved. There’s not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn’t be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character. People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride. That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it’s worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog. We wouldn’t have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along. There was less crime in our streets before they were paved. Criminals didn’t walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they’d be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun. And there were no drive by shootings. Our values were better when our roads were worse! People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn’t tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks. Dirt Roads taught patience. Dirt Roads were environ-

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mentally friendly, you didn’t hop in your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk. For your mail, you walked to the mail box. What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy’s shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody. At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap. Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn’t some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini. At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you’d have to hitch up a team and pull them out. Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend... at the end of a Dirt Road! $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Dirty Old Farmer

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn’t been there for a while. Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up, he said... “I’m here to feed the alligator!” Some old men can still think fast. HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)4659422 WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity, Jeff (775)720-2577 VINTAGE WEDGEWOOD KITCHEN STOVE GAS 4 burner and griddle, very clean $300 (775)265-2857 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

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SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 BENSON FEED - WE CARRY A WIDE VARIETY of pet foods and supplies. We also offer quality hay and feed for horses, as well as horse tack, etc. bensonfeed. com, Carson City (775)882-3999

Flying Pig Flea Market

Our next dates will be Saturdays, July 13th, August 17th 8am-3pm and Sundays, July 14th, August 18th, 9am-3pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)3150008 JOB HUNTING? CHANGING CAREERS? SEEKING a promotion? Re-entering the job market? Beat the competition with a professional resume created by The Resume Business (775)267-2711 GLOCK 30-45 AUTOMATIC, Excellent Condition, 5 magazines, Streamlight TLR-4 laser with white light, belt, holster $575 (530)305-3079 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Story of American Independence for Grown Ups

The American Revolution was a war that was fought between the thirteen American colonies and Britain to gain America’s Independence. Many of us have learned the story of American Independence, but how much we have remembered from our childhood is a whole different story. The American Revolution began in 1775 with the “shot heard round the world”? which was fired at Lexington on April 19, 1775. The American Revolution lasted eight and a half years and finally ended on September 3, 1783, with America and the King of England signing the Treaty of Paris. Before the war was over the Declaration of Independence was adopted on July 4, 1776 and as far as American colonists were concerned they were no longer under the King’s rule, which is why we celebrate our Independence Day on July 4 each year. Colonies: Since America was under the King’s rule in the very beginning they were known as colonies not as states. Once the Declaration of Independence was signed, America became known as the United States. The thirteen colonies that were involved in the American Revolution were: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia. These states were the thirteen original states in the United States.

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Causes and early troubles: By the middle of the 18th century the colonies and Britain had major differences in their lifestyle and politics. In the very beginning the colonies were pretty much allowed to develop on their own, but then in 1763 Britain decided to take a more active role in the colonies. After the French and Indian Wars were over in 1763 Britain decided to tax the colonies to help pay for the war and to help pay for there defense. Britain also was making the colonies return revenue to the mother country. Because of the strict guidelines that Britain was now trying to enforce, many colonists were left unhappy. One of the main reasons that the colonists were unhappy was because when Britain decided to tax the colonies on sugar and molasses, as well as making them return revenue to the mother country, the colonies did not have any representation in Parliament. Some of the colonists, such as Samuel Adams, John Adams, and the Sons of Liberty felt that they should not have to pay taxes since they were not being represented in Parliament. These colonists led the cry of “no taxation without representation”?. But this was only the tip of the iceberg. Britain continued to pass various acts that made it harder and harder for the colonists to develop themselves. Some of the more famous acts that were passed by King George II and Parliament were the Stamp Act, the Tea Act, and the Coercive Acts, which the Americans called the Intolerable Acts. All of these acts were designed to tax and/or control the Ameri-


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can colonies. Although not all of the colonists believed that they should be independent, the battle was set to begin. A majority of the colonists thought that they should be free, and after British soldiers and colonials opened fire on each other the revolution had begun. Not only did the colonists have to fight the British soldiers who were formally trained, they also had to contend with the colonists who didn’t think they should be free from Britain’s rule. The battle lasted for eight and a half years and was finally over when the British soldiers surrendered and King George II signed the Treaty of Paris, which gave the colonies their independence.

The Boss’ Chair

Kyle and Justin were about to eat with their babysitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, “You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!” “Daddy’s not home,” the babysitter replied. “Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I can sit here. Today, I’m the boss.” Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, “If you’re the boss, you sit over there in Mommy’s chair!” HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235

GLOCK MODEL 22 SEMI AUTOMATIC, 40 caliber, 15 round magazine with Uncle Mike’s Sidekick holster, box of ammunition $375, NV residence only (775)3152734

REFRIGERATOR LG, STAINLESS, FRENCH door, freezer, bottom drawer, water and ice in door, 36”Wx36”Dx69”T, 3 years, used 1 year, very good condition $900 OBO, Dayton (916)425-2956

RENT ME FOR SUMMER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320

VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)7201918

TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C., Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398

WINCHESTER MODEL 63, SEMI AUTOMATIC, 22 caliber (775)265-5961

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Burnout is now considered a medical condition

The process of crashing under the pressure of a heavy workload just got some validation. Work “burnout syndrome” has been recognized for the first time as an official medical diagnosis by the World Health Organization. The increasingly common work-life balance buzzword is now included in the WHO’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is widely used as a benchmark for diagnosis and health insurers. “Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life,” according to the new designation. The decision to list burnout - reached during the World Health Assembly in Geneva, which concludes Tuesday puts an end to more than four decades of debate among experts over how to define the stress disorder. WHO’s 11th edition of the ICD, which catalogues diseases and illnesses spanning the globe, defines burnout as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” ROOF! WE DO ROOFS FOR A LIVING, NOT FOR a hobby! High quality, economical price, call Ed (775)2972320

Texting

My boss texted me, “Send me one of your funny jokes, Pete.” I replied, “I’m working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later.” He replied, “That was fantastic, send me another one.” GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777 TWO BAR STOOLS, CAPTAIN STYLE, 30” seat, brown cloth, gold frame $100; 2 tires P235-60R15 $40; locking gun cabinet $50; four aluminum 15” Unilug rims $100; cedar chest $50 (775)342-9718 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

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HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358

PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

Douglas Democrats Annual Picnic

Hot Dogs, Burgers and Beans with fixin’s will be served to perfection at the Douglas County Democrats’ Annual Picnic at Genoa’s Mormon Station Saturday, July 20 from 1:00pm - 4:00pm. Turkey hot dogs, veggie burgers and veggie beans will be available along with salad, cookies and watermelon to round out the menu. Spend the afternoon with Nevada Democratic leaders and meet elected officials. Cost is $20 adults, children 7 and under, free. The meal ticket includes one bottle of water. A no-host wine, beer and sodas bar will be available. Gift baskets will be available via silent auction. Join us for Food, Fun and Friends. RSVPs to Katherine Winans, jkw@gbis.com or (775)267-0539 will be appreciated. Funds raised to benefit the Douglas Democrats.

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.” “Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.” “I know,” the old man said, “We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.” “Well,” Granny snickered, “What do you say...should we get naked?” Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. “You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “My jugs are as hot today as they were fifty years ago.” “I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!”

HANDY HAMILTONS HANDYMAN SERVICES, Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595

MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

50 Years

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Seven Words with Two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female... Any part under a car’s hood. Male... The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female... Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding. 7. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes. MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 READY TO MOVE IN, 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH, DEN, doublewide home in quiet 55+ Yerington Park, covered carport, dual parking, covered porch/hot tub, metal shop 220V, reduced to $129,000 (775)781-2276 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 WILDERNESS 14’ KAYAK, MODEL TSUNAMI 140, adjustable seat, mini cockpit skirt, cockpit cover, paddle and manual (775)265-5961 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $400 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

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YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Carson Valley area, Kelly (209)352-0084

A Dream

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said with a smile. The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn’t wait for her husband to return home. That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled…“The Meaning of Dreams” ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179


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Annual St. Gall Rummage Sale…

is scheduled for August 2nd, 7am-5pm and August 3rd, 7am-3pm. This is our BIG ONE! We have something for everyone. St. Gall, 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753

MOUNTAIN DESERT BUILDERS: SPECIALIZING in remodels, one room to the entire home, including decks, windows, doors, siding and trim, Lic.#83159, Call Eamonn (775)781-4753 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” 2019 Tick Forecast

Ticks can be nuisances (no one wants to have to tweezer a tick off their skin, or their child’s skin, or a pet’s), and due to the diseases they carry, they can be real threats to human health. What’s worse is that while there is a primary time of year when ticks are most active—late spring, summer, and early fall—ticks are reproducing, finding hosts, and acting like pests in general all throughout the year. As “tick expert” Dr. Thomas Mather says, “Tick season is pretty much every season.” Still, climatic conditions can make some years worse for ticks than others. Ticks thrive in humidity, so a wet year can boost populations and increase the number of places they can live in. And warm winters and lingering summer heat add weeks of activity for the animals that ticks use as hosts, making them more likely to spread into the areas where humans live. For 2019, forecasters predict that the warm-weather months in the US will be a bad time for anyone who wants to avoid ticks, with tick populations likely to be larger than usual, and weather conditions likely to put ticks in range of people for much longer than average. And while some regions, most notably the Southeast, may not see more tick activity than usual, most states will experience the warmer, wetter conditions that drive tick populations—and the prospect of tick borne diseases—skyward. (pests.org)

Fall-Down Drunk

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. “Forget it,” he thought. “I’ll just crawl home.” The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep. “You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said. “Uh, yes,” he said sheepishly. “How did you know?” “You left your wheelchair at the bar again.” MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 FALCON ALL TERRAIN NON-BINDING TOW BAR with cover, by Roadmaster, excellent condition $475, Minden (443)534-6970 A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954

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CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706 KIRBY VACUUM LATE MODEL, NO ATTACHMENTS $400 OBO: Log bed frame, natural finish, Queen, perfect for your Tahoe House or ?? $300 OBO (775)781-0930

Absent Minded

“Rather absent-minded, isn’t he?” “Extremely so. Why, the other night when he got home he knew there was something he wanted to do, but he couldn’t remember what it was until he sat up over an hour trying to think.” “And did he finally remember it?” “Yes, he discovered that he wanted to go to bed early.” 1987 DODGE 4WD PU, 360, D150, 1/2 TON - LONG bed, automatic, needs tires, Good truck for wood, ranch or 4 wheeling, $1,200, Call (775)465-9088 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Does it hurt?

A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful, but quite naive woman. The puzzled woman kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”. Nevertheless, the woman continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked.”Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?” LARRY’S TRACTOR SERVICE, CLEANUP WORK, rototilling, backhoe, box scraper, dump trailer, rake, hole drilling, affordable rates (775)267-2245 or (775)6904632 2007 PALOMINO PONY 280 TENT TRAILER, RARELY used, in good to excellent shape, elderly couple looking to sell for $2,500, call if interested (775)783-8329 $89 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

Fat Free

I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order. “Just a minute!” I said. “Those aren’t fat-free.” “Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free!” HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 SKEET SHOTGUN, 410/28/20 GAUGE MODEL 12 20 gauge $2,000 (775)781-7827

$3,000;

HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 HANDYMAN - 30+ YEARS EXPERIENCE, FREE estimates, senior and military discounts, low rates, Jerry/ Gardnerville (760)219-2296

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Happy July Birthdays!

On your special day, we wish you all the very best, all the joy you can ever have and may you be blessed abundantly today, tomorrow, and the days to come! Have a wonderful Birthday! SOLID ROCK MAPLE TWIN BEDSTEADS (2 HEADBOARDS, footboards, sideboards) made in the late 1930’s, need refinishing and some repair $75 for both, Carson City (775)301-6522 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free. LAWN MAINTENANCE SERVICE, YARD CLEANING, mowing, sprinkler repairs, thatching, tree trimming, pruning, low prices with high quality, Martin M. Maintenance Services (530)721-5350 CEMENT MIXER, ELECTRIC 110V, HEAVY DUTY, used very little $200 OBO (775)265-3036

Tea Party

A mother was having a tea party on the lawn with her children. A neighbor said, “How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?” She smiled and said, “They’ll always remember our tea parties, but they’ll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!” PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776 NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@ gmail or call (775)360-5214 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

God Bless America! 18


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The Rip Van Winkle Effect

Everyone knows that getting a good night’s sleep is beneficial to your health. But here are a few other reasons you may not have heard before. According to the American Sleep Association and CDC, 1 in 3 Americans are getting less than 7 hours of sleep a night, and 86 million people are sleep deprived with 30% suffering from temporary insomnia. Inadequate sleep can disrupt our daily activities. Our bodies need adequate sleep to complete the detoxification process that repair our cells, strengthen our immune system, allow the brain to process all the daily information and regenerate for the following day. Sleep deprivation can also cause havoc on our hormones - two in particular; ghrelin and leptin. A chronic lack of sleep increases our hunger hormone (ghrelin) and is exacerbated when sugary treats are eaten later in the evening. Increased ghrelin triggers your brain’s pleasure center to want more. High leptin levels have been tied to heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, stroke, and blood-sugar problems. If you are leptin resistant, your body will receive signals leading you to continue to eat even when you’ve actually had enough. Electromagnetic field activity can also disrupt your body’s natural sleep cycles. Unplug any unnecessary electrical appliances or devices, and block out as much light as possible. If you have to have your cell phone in your bed-

room, place it far away from your bed and turn on airplane mode, reduce brightness, and set display to nightshift. Learn more about supportive nutrition and supplementation for a restful night’s sleep. HAPPY DREAMING! Miriam is a Certified Wellness Coach and Holistic Nutrition Consultant.www.positivelywhole.com. “YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $179 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we can spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381 SENIOR MARINE, EXELLENT HEALTH, needs live on property (mother-in-law or ?) want rural area within 10 miles of stores, etc., great references, Jim (775)3155191

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Stress Management Advice

Couples

An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing. Both were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs. Suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, she goes back to her book. Her husband, puzzled, asks, “What was that for?” She replied, “That was for 50 years of bad romance.” They both go back to their books, and a few minutes later, the husband looks at his wife and whacks her across the head, he goes back to reading his book. The wife, also puzzled asks him, “What was that for?” Not looking up from his book the husband answers, “That is for knowing the difference.” CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 QUEEN SIZE TOP MATTRESS WITH BOTTOM inner spring, frames and headboard, good condition, asking $200 OBO (775)267-9352

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A young lady confidently walked around the room explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘half empty or half full?’ She fooled them all. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.” “As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now ‘supposed’ stress that you’ve conquered!” 1. Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue! 2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. 3. Drive carefully... It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. 4. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 5. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 6. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on. 7. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. 8. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. 9. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. 10. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today. SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955 WATER RIGHTS IN SMITH VALLEY, 30 ACRE FEET for sale $66,000, $2,200 per acre foot, Clean title and can be used in Smith Valley, Please call John (775)790-1568 WEEKLY LAWN CARE, DETHATCH AND AERATION, 15+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” First Settler Marriage in Carson Valley

INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252 CALIFORNIA KING, NEW MATTRESS, 6 months old, firm, top of the line, asking $700 OBO (775)7203978

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By Karen Dustman The year was 1854 when two young riders pulled up outside Henry Van Sickle’s blacksmith shop astride a single horse. Their arrival at Van Sickle’s station wasn’t all that unusual — “Van” (as locals knew him) was an in-demand blacksmith and wheelwright, and his station had become a popular stopping place for passing-through emigrants. What was unusual, however, was the mission of the two riders. Young David R. Jones and his even younger companion, Frances Angeline Williams, weren’t interested in Van’s assistance as a blacksmith but rather his help as Justice of the Peace. They’d just eloped together on horseback and wanted “Van” to marry them. Frances was a native of Pennsylvania who’d come west with her family in a wagon train, arriving in Carson Valley during the fall of 1853. David had been born in Wales in 1830, emigrating as a child with his family to Wisconsin. David, too, followed his dreams west to Carson Valley in 1853 as a member of the same wagon train as the Williams family, and was now living and working on the ranch owned by Frances’ father (possibly really her uncle), William T. “Billy” Williams. David was 25 years old on that fateful day he rode up to Van Sickle’s blacksmith shop. Frances, on the other hand, was just 15. And they hadn’t asked her parents’ permission to get married. As later writers have told the tale, “Van” was hard at work at his forge when the eager young couple rushed in. Still clad in his leather blacksmith’s apron and rolled-up shirtsleeves, Van Sickle obliged them with the briefest of ceremonies. Clapping one meaty hand on David’s shoulder and the other on Frances’, he solemnly proclaimed: “As Justice of the Peace of this township, I pronounce you man and wife under the law of the Territory of Utah.” That was it. They were married. It was the first settler marriage to be performed in Carson Valley, at least according to local legend. (Small pause for a word of caution: when it comes to “firsts” like marriages and babies, there can often be room for dispute! But that’s how local legend tells it.) And the wedding wouldn’t be Van Sickle’s last. In August, 1857, Van Sickle also “stopped branding cattle long enough to perform the marriage” for Elzy Knott and Mary Harris. There’s just one small factual hiccup giving later historians pause about the long-ago Jones wedding story: Henry Van Sickle probably wasn’t actually a J.P. yet in 1854. It wasn’t until Carson County, Utah Territory was formed in September, 1855 by Orson Hyde that Henry officially became a judge, as nearly as we can tell. Prior to that, although J.P.’s did exist, their authority was limited to handling court cases. With no authority vested in anyone at the time to perform weddings, emigrant marriages were sometimes accomplished by a written “contract” or by stretching


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the fictitious jurisdiction of an eastern J.P. who might be on hand. Still, the story of the Jones’ wedding is so detailed there’s likely some truth to the tale. Perhaps the young couple thought Van Sickle had the power to marry them. Maybe later tellings got the year wrong and the marriage took place a year later, when Henry really was a Justice of the Peace. Or perhaps the well-respected Van Sickle was simply the closest thing anyone had to a J.P. in those early days, and local folk never questioned the well-intentioned marriage attempt. However it happened, if the oft-repeated tale is true, newlyweds David and Frances must have had quite an interesting conversation with her family when they finally returned home to the Williams ranch! Find Karen Dustman’s books on Sierra and local history at www.Clairitage.com. NATIONAL LEADER IN BABBITT BEARING repair is seeking Manual Machinists for our Minden, NV Plant. Minimum 3 years current relevant experience required. (No CNC) Medical, dental, life, paid vacation and holidays plus other benefits. Email resume in an MS Word document format to: nvoffice@pmebearings.com or fax resume/work history to (775)267-4543

My First Job

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college while working for my parents as their daughter. MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 GREAT DEAL! WHITE CARAVAN TOP OFF 1996 Chevy Shortbed, double doors, sliding window $2,000 OBO (775)790-3800 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Mary Kay Ash Story

Mary Kay Ash banged her head on the corporate glass ceiling one too many times. Working for several direct sales companies from the 1930’s until the early 1960’s, she achieved considerable success. She climbed the corporate ladder to become the sole woman on the board of directors of the World Gift Company - quite an accomplishment for a woman in the 1950’s. But life wasn’t rosy at the top. Even though Mary Kay had the title and the track record, she was not taken seriously by her male peers. In board meetings, her opinions and suggestions were ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. Male board members minced no words in their judgment - pronouncing her guilty of “thinking like a woman.” Since the sales force was almost entirely female, Mary Kay thought that thinking like a woman was an asset. But her fellow board members disagreed. Finally, in frustration, she retired in 1963, intending to write a book to assist women in the male-dominated business. Sitting at her kitchen table, she made two lists: one list was all the good things she had seen in the companies where she’d worked, and the other list was all the things she thought could be improved. As she re-read her lists, she realized that what she had in front of her was a marketing plan for her ideal company. In just four weeks, her “book” had become a business plan, and her retirement was over. Both her accountant and her attorney did their best to discourage her, warning that she would be throwing her money away on this venture. But Mary Kay had heard enough male nay-saying in her corporate years - she ignored her advisors. Her husband, unlike her accountant and attorney, was very supportive. With his help, Mary Kay developed the cosmetic products, designed packaging, wrote promotional materials and recruited and trained her female sales force. Then the unthinkable happened; her husband of twentyone years died of a heart attack. Another woman might have dropped her plans, or at least delayed them, but Mary Kay was a strong Texas woman. She stayed on track with the help of her twenty-year-old son, Richard Rogers and rolled out her new business in September of 1963. Beginning with a storefront in Dallas and an investment of $5,000, Mary Kay Cosmetics earned close to $200,000 in its first year - quadrupling that amount in its second year. When Mary Kay took her company public in 1968, sales had climbed to more than $10 million. Mary Kay’s unusual corporate motto, “God first, family second, career third,” was unconventional, to say the least. But she understood the need for women to have balance in their lives, and she was committed to providing unlimited opportunity for women’s financial AND personal success. Mary Kay authored three books, all of which became best-sellers. Her business model is taught at the Harvard Business School. She received many honors, including the Horatio Alger Award. Fortune magazine has named Mary

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Kay Cosmetics as one of the Ten Best Companies for Women, as well as one of The 100 Best Companies to Work for in America. At the time of her death in 2001, Mary Kay Cosmetics had 800,000 independent beauty consultants in 37 countries, with total annual sales of over two billion dollars. Never underestimate the power of a woman with a mission! ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 AIR COMPRESSOR 5HP 1750RPM, 230 VOLTS tank, model 3020, maximum P.S.I. 200 $800 OBO (775)2652578 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City (775)315-0834 THOMASVILLE “AMERICAN OAK” BEDROOM furniture, dresser with tri-mirror, 2 nightstands, chest of drawers $1,550; 4 metal patio chairs $18 each (530)6942557 MORTAR MIXER $1,750; RMK800 SNOWMOBILE, low miles, $4,000 (775)781-7827

Good News, Bad News

One day The Lord spoke to Adam. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” The Lord said. Adam looked at The Lord and replied, “Well, give me the good news first.” Smiling, The Lord explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a schlong. It will give you physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.” Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?” The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time.” SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 WHEELS, TIRES FOR SALE 22” HARTGE $500 OBO, Genoa (714)469-3169

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Men with beards have more germs than Dogs

Looks like men with beards are going to be dogged with charges of bad hygiene. That’s because a new study suggests that bearded guys actually have more germs than a dog’s fur. Researchers at the Hirslanden Clinic near Zurich, Switzerland, wanted to determine whether evaluating humans and dogs in the same MRI scanner would be hygienic. They did so by comparing the bacterial load in colonyforming units (CFU) of human-pathogenic microorganisms in specimens taken from 18 bearded men and 30 furry dogs. The researchers also compared the extent of bacterial contamination of an MRI scanner used by both dogs and humans with two other MRI scanners used exclusively by humans. Turns out all the bearded bros showed high microbial counts, compared with only 23 out of 30 dogs. In fact, seven of the men had so much beard bacteria they were at risk of getting sick, according to the BBC. The jointly used scanner also had significantly lower bacteria counts than the scanners used only by humans. “On the basis of these findings, dogs can be considered as clean, compared with bearded men,” study author Andreas Gutzeit told the BBC.

Annoying Phone

Irritated Boss: “Can’t you hear that the phone is ringing? You must answer the telephone!” New Secretary: “All right, but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it’s for you.” ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Additions, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749 FRESH BATCH, NEW CROP! ROASTED GARLIC Jam, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265

July 28th - Parent’s Day 28

GREATER HEALTH IS WITHIN YOUR REACH! Customized Wellness Coaching and Nutrition Consulting. Wellness Coaching, Whole Body Tune-up, Healthy Weight Management, Meal Planning, and more. Call now for complimentary consultation. www.positivelywhole.com (702)460-7205 HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

Douglas Democrats Monthly Meetings…

Thursday, June 27 and Thursday, July 25, 2019 from 6:30pm to 8:30pm at their headquarters 1758 US-395 N, Unit K, (Ironwood Center), Minden. Presentation and discussion. Gather and chat 6:30pm, meeting starts at 7:00pm sharp, www.douglasdems.org or (775)783-1903 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Jealous Wife

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, “Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!” The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!” ESTATE SALE SERVICES. DOWNSIZING? RELOCATING? Health Issues? No family here to help? Full Liquidations also available, 40 year Local Resident, Call Joi at J&J Estate Sales (775)230-5656 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/residential, 10% discount for Spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156

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Praise the Lord...

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, “PRAISE THE LORD!” Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!” Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD! God, I need food. I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries.” The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD!” The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, “HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord! I bought those groceries, myself! God didn’t!” The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, “PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them! PRAISE THE LORD!” RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, now Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Berean Bible Church, Christ Alone!

Introducing Pastor Luke Wartgow - Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study –Friday’s 8am; Men’s Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 5pm. 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) bereanbible.church or call (775)782-3931 INVEST IN YOUR OWN SELF-CARE INSURANCEEat Your Way To Remarkable Health! Personalized Nutrition Consulting and Wellness Coaching. Healthy weight management, lifestyle management, nutrition support for diabetes, heart condition, digestive disorders, autoimmune, Alzheimer’s, detoxification programs, meal planning, and more. Reclaim Your Health Now! Call now for complimentary consultation. www. positivelywhole.com (775)515-8580 PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 DOG PEN 8’LX6’WX4’H CHAIN LINK WITH gate $150; Echo Line SRM-225 trimmer with manual and extra line $125, Larry (775)901-1764

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Women Over 40

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated. Women over 40 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with women over 40.


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Children’s Bill of Rights

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My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place. “Guess what I learned in Civics Two, what’s taught by Mr. Wright? It’s all about the laws today, The “Children’s Bill of Rights.” It says I need not clean my room, don’t have to cut my hair. No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say, I don’t have to bow my head, and I sure don’t have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want and pierce my tongue and nose. I can read and watch just what I like and get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me, I’ll charge you with a crime. I’ll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind. Don’t you ever touch me, My body’s only for my use, not for your hugs and kisses, that’s just more child abuse. Don’t preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you. That’s nothing more than mind control, and it’s illegal too! Mom, I have these children’s rights, so you can’t influence me, or I’ll call Children’s Services Division, better known as C.S.D. Of course, my first instinct was to toss him out the door. But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully, I couldn’t let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he’s messing with a pro. The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store. I told him, “Pick out all you want, there’s shirts and pants galore. I’ve called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn’t care if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs. And I’ve canceled that appointment to take your driver’s test. The C.S.D. is unconcerned, so I’ll decide what’s best. I said “No time to stop and eat or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.” Just save the raging appetite and wait till dinner time. We’re having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine. He asked “Can I please rent a movie on YouTube?” “Sorry... but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, you’ll take the couch instead. All the C.S.D. requires is a roof for over your head. Your clothing won’t be trendy now, and I’ll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat. I’m selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike and roller blades. Check out the “Parents Bill of Rights,” it’s in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying, and why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D.? (Author unknown)

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TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

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Accepting Applications...

The Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.42/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us

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Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520 ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, ROOF AND GUTTER cleaning, Re-screening, Pressure Washing and more. 30 years experience, NV#20161064184, CA#310507, Gardnerville resident (530)544-0590

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.” The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!” The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A.S.A.P.

There’s work to do, deadlines to meet, You’ve got no time to spare. But as you hurry and scurry, A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER. In the midst of family chaos, “Quality time” is rare. Do your best, let God do the rest, A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER. It may seem like your worries are more than you can bear. Slow down and take a breather, A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER. God knows how stressful life is, He wants to ease our cares. And He’ll respond to all your needs, A.S.A.P. - ALWAYS SAY A PRAYER. FRAMED GLASS FOR GREENHOUSE OR ??? For details, inforcourthouseproducts@charter.net or (775)265-1480 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453 1986 JAGUAR XJS, GOOD BODY AND INTERIOR, Chevy engine $4,000, leave clear message please (775)265-1818

Douglas County Republican Women’s...

July meeting will be held on Wednesday July 3rd at Carson Valley Inn. Our guest speaker will be Michael J. McDonald, Chair of the Republican Party of Nevada. He is a former member of the Las Vegas City Council and previously served as a senior deputy in the office of Nevada State Treasurer Dan Schwartz. Doors open at 11:00 a.m. Buffet lunch begins at 11:45 a.m. Raffle tickets are available for purchase as well as the 50/50 drawing. Gift items are available for purchase at our boutique. Reservations are required ! Cost: $25.00 (with reservations) and $30 (without reservations).) To make a reservation please notify Linda by June 27th at LRCAL1@aol.com or call 775-782-5338. WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 CALLING ALL CONTRACTORS. IF YOU OWN a small construction company and are finding it hard to keep up with the bookkeeping, payroll and or taxes we’re your answer. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping and Tax Service (775)246-3363

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July 19 Scoop Online Edition  

Sierra Scoop arrives in the home on or before the 1st of the month. We are the best read "Shoppers Guide in the Sierra" consisting of great...

July 19 Scoop Online Edition  

Sierra Scoop arrives in the home on or before the 1st of the month. We are the best read "Shoppers Guide in the Sierra" consisting of great...

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