FOR SALE: YAMAHA UPRIGHT PIANO, EXCELLENT condition $2,500 Call (406)471-2382
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.
1999 TOYOTA AVALON RUNS GOOD $600, Mary (775)267-7611
COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827,davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439
TOTAL GYM DELUXE WITH ALL ACCESSORIES, lightly used, paid $1,200, sell for $650, Bill (805)801-4505 or (831)818-9860
SUGAR PLUM HOUSEKEEPING - LICENSED with References, $50/hour (775)220-4252
HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
BUYING CASINO CHIPS, OLD POSTCARDS, ADVERTISING signs, coins, old Nevada match book collections, old scrapbooks, old Nevada telephone books, old bottles, confederate money, letters, etc. - Terry (775)782-3904
THINKING OF CALLING CASH PAID FOR Old Costume Jewelry? This may be a good time to call. Often times, callers tell me they have seen my ad for a long time. I have advertised for over eighteen years in the Sierra Scoop. Looking forward to meeting you. message or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
How do you get to heaven?
“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class.
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?”
Again the answer was, “NO!””Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?” I asked them again.
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
“Well,” I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, “then how can I get into heaven?” A five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Chronic Laziness
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me?”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $379 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813
PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700
1960’S, 1970’S BEAUTIFUL NORMAN ROCKWELL collectors porcelain plates with authentic cards, 56 of them $10 each, take all, best offer (775)267-4609
AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $90, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that members not present and subjects discussed were one and the same.”
Lessons learned as an aging adult
Nothing spoils a good story more than the arrival of an eyewitness. (Mark Twain). It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person. It turns out that when asked who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to pick out one of your own. I know that now. One thing no one ever talks about, when it comes to being an older adult, is how much time we devote to keeping a cardboard box because it is, you know, a really good box. If you dropped something when you were younger, you just picked it up. When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for just a bit contemplating if you actually need it anymore.
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them lying on the kitchen counter, and then guess what’s on the list when I am at the store. Ask your doctor if a drug with 32 pages of side effects is bad for you. I just read a book about marriage that says treat your wife like you treated her on your first date. So tonight after dinner I’m dropping her off at her parent’s house. The best way to get back on your feet is to miss two car payments. I love bacon. Sometimes I eat it twice a day. It takes my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting. As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I am sure of is that it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
I asked a supermarket employee where they kept the canned peaches. He said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. I asked another & he also said, “I’ll see,” & walked away. In the end, I gave up & found them myself, in Aisle C. I put our scale in the bathroom corner & that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes. When I was a kid, I used to watch the ‘Wizard of Oz’ & wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got on Facebook.
Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror & think, “That can’t be accurate!” I want to be 14 again & ruin my life differently. I have new ideas. Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation with “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response.
Who knew that the hardest thing about being an adult is figuring out what to fix for dinner and doing it every single night for the rest of your life until you die? Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows. Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch an episode of “The Hoarders,” and think, “Wow! My house looks great.”
JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL, Defensible Space, Fire Breaks, Excavating, Sprinkler Repair, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955
PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065
Help Wanted
Hunewill Construction is hiring an Accounts Receivable person. Experience with AR, knowledge of computers, excel and word is a plus .
Wage depends on experience. Apply at 315 Artist View, Wellington Nevada. Phone (775)465-2448
WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999
TORO CCR2000 SNOWTHROWER 4.5HP TWO cycle single stage snow blower with manual in excellent condition $350, Contact Ray (775)265-6559
When the supermarket clerk tallied up my groceries, I was $12 over what I had on me. I began to remove items from the bags, when another shopper handed me a $20 bill.
“Please don’t put yourself out,” I told him.“Let me tell you a story,” he said.
“My mother is in the hospital with cancer. I visit her every day and bring her flowers. I went this morning, and she got mad at me for spending my money on more flowers. She demanded that I do something else with that money. So, here, please accept this. It is my mother’s flowers.”
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Incident at a sporting goods store
Being the boss...
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.”
The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, saw his wife and growled, “From now on you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and after you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?”
“I certainly do,” said his wife calmly, “the undertaker.”
2021 EVOLUTION ELECTRIC GOLF CART. MULTIcolor wheel well lights, front light bar, registered, street legal, stereo, backup camera. Hardly used, new $15,680, asking $12,500 (760)784-1434
COLT TROOPER 357 MAG $850; AUTO ORDINANCE
1911A1 US Army 45 caliber $750; Marlin Model 322 Sako Riihimaki .222 with Leopold scope 309x40 $850, CCW required (775)461-6687
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501
A woman goes into sporting goods store (like a Bass Pro Shop) to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s Christmas present. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
An associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”
She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It’s a good all around combination; and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.”
She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!” As she opens her purse, her credit card drops to the floor.
“Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?”
He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel are $20.00, but the duck call is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50.”
SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003
NOW BUYING UNFINISHED PROJECT CARS 67-69 Camaro, 66-72 Chevelle 1930 to 1970 American classic cars in any condition Call (775)552-5113
50 BEANIE BABIES IN MINT CONDITION 1993-1999, $30 each for the bears and $20 each for others; Autographed Books - Ralph “Sonny” Barger 2022 1st edition; Mia Farrow, Tom Clancy 1995; Cal Ripken autographed baseball card and book, 1970 Matel Barbie Country Camper, still in box and others, 1997-1999 Clinton and Gore unopened Christmas cards, Beautiful Lands End Cutlery 8 piece place setting, all pieces, Made in Brazil hand weaved hanging chair, asking $500 OBO, call Ruby for more details (775)901-3024
PIANO, GUITAR, COMPOSITION LESSONS. ALL LEVELS and ages. Experienced teachers with music degrees. Jim and Janet, Sunridge/Carson City (415)678-0504
Happy Birthday Dad!
I know life is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But I’m reminding you today that it’s also full of beautiful and wonderful things, loving people, and cherished memories. May your birthday be full of laughter, and may the year ahead be full of beautiful times. Happy February 2nd Birthday, Dad. Love always, Lisa
DID YOU KNOW? When honey is heated and strained and sealed properly, it will not be able to absorb moisture and therefore will stay as it is forever. The oldest jar of honey ever found is stated to be over 5500 years old today.
YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Serving Gardnerville, Kelly (209)352-0084
SLOOWW COMPUTER? VIRUSES? MALWARE? Need an upgrade? Will do a complete computer maintenance: Remove Junk, Viruses, Malware. Test Hard Drive, Memory, Do updates and Print-Out. 25 Yrs+ Pro & Corp Experience $40 flat fee. Satisfaction guaranteed. I come to you! Tom (775)720-2814
DID YOU KNOW? The staple food of 50% of the world population is rice. Over 3.5 billion people rely on rice for more than 20% of their daily calorie intake?
PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)2657081
HOME HANDYMAN - SERVING CARSON VALLEY, Johnson Lane, Minden. Fast, Friendly and Affordable, Contact Tim - home-handy-man.com or (775)431-4088
FOR SALE! ACE HARDWARE STYLE POPCORN machine, for more details call Russ (408)270-4028
DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462
BLAZING FAST INTERNET: OUR 5G SPEEDS match or exceed cable internet! Low-cost, low-data 4G plans also available. Rural-Internet.US (775)297-4770
Eagles & AgricultureCarson Valley
February 6 through February 9, 2025. Calling all wildlife lovers! This annual weekend showcases birds, wide-open spaces and the cutest calves imaginable! Each year, the calving season draws raptors, including bald eagles, to Carson Valley. Eagles and Agriculture celebrates their arrival and offers a chance to witness these majestic birds. Highlights of the event include an opening dinner, where falconers bring their birds for up close viewing, tours for exclusive access to the ranches, a photography workshop, and a photo contest.
Bus-lead tours will be available this year, allowing participants to learn about the local lore while riding in comfort to each tour site. Tickets will be limited, so reserve early!
Complete details and reservations are available by visiting www.carsonvalleynv.org or calling the Carson Valley Chamber of Commerce at (775)782-8144.
HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)2672490
D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 ONLINE EDITION - www.sierrascoop.com
Attitude toward whiskey...
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it.
But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.”
DID YOU KNOW? The human brain is 78% water. Up to 60% of the adult human body is made up of water. Research has indicated that both the human brain and heart are around 73-78% water.
ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $599, all vents, returns, heater and AC cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $129, NV#260831, call Jeff at Peake Air (818)519-4566
MANUELS LANDSCAPING SERVICES - FIRE Pits, Pavers, Fences, Rocks, Sprinklers, Artificial Turf, Retaining Walls, Water Features, Spring and Fall Clean Ups, Lawn Care Service - Aerating, Thatching, Mowing, all for a great price, you’ll be happy, NV#20222 462146, Castaneda Landscaping LLC (775)291-7499
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Doomsday Bunkers
Douglas County Republican Women
....will be featuring speakers at its February and March luncheon meetings from the Governor’s staff and from those elected to represent us in the Nevada Legislature as the legislative session begins in February this year. The February meeting will meet on Wednesday, the 5th and RSVPs are required by February 1st. The March meeting will meet on Wednesday, the 5th and RSVPs are required by March 1st. DCRW meets at Valley Christian Fellowship, 1681 Lucerne St., Minden. Social time begins at 11:15 a.m. with lunch at noon. Lunch reservations recommended. Please RSVP to Elinor Lacy at DCRWrsvp@gmail.com or call 415-985-5432 for more information. Together we win!
The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.
LAWN CARE SERVICE! MOWING, TRIMMING, Pruning, sprinkler repair and general yard cleanup, over 10 years experience, Andres (775)400-4742
Doomsday bunkers have a long and varied history. Initially, they were constructed for military purposes, designed to protect against bombings and nuclear attacks. During World War II, bunkers became a crucial element in military strategy, providing shelter for troops and civilians alike.
In the Cold War era, the fear of nuclear warfare led to the construction of numerous public and private bunkers, primarily in the United States and the Soviet Union. These early bunkers were utilitarian, focusing on functionality rather than comfort.
As technology advanced, so did the design and construction of bunkers. Modern bunkers are not just about survival but also about providing a high standard of living even in catastrophic scenarios. This shift is particularly evident in the luxurious bunkers being built today, which offer amenities such as swimming pools, theaters, and wine cellars.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of wealthy individuals investing in elaborate doomsday bunkers. This trend is driven by a growing sense of insecurity about the future, with concerns ranging from political instability to climate change. High-profile celebrities and tech moguls are leading the way in this movement.
For instance, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is rumored to have a sophisticated bunker at one of his many properties. Known for his foresight in technology, Zuckerberg’s investment in a bunker reflects his proactive approach to potential global crises.
Another example is Tesla and SpaceX founder Elon Musk, who is known for his futuristic visions and preparations for various apocalyptic scenarios.
The future of doomsday bunkers could see them becoming less about mere survival and more about maintaining a high quality of life, even in the face of global crises.
HANDRAILS: STAND ALONE CUSTOM BUILT Sturdy metal handrails for safety and assistance-most exterior doors and walkways also garage concrete steps corrections and improvements. Carson Valley and Carson City (777)790-6445
PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441
QUALITY HAY AVAILABLE FROM PINENUT FARMING. Alfalfa, Orchard/Alfalfa mix, and straight orchard grass. Call for availability and prices. Delivery available! www.pinenutfarming.com - Call (775)901-3213
HANDYMAN PROS (NOT LICENSED) - RAPID RESPONSE, ALL Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Concrete, minor Plumbing and Electrical, Tile, Granite & more, Professionally Designed Blue Prints (775)400-6822
“Even though our time in this life is temporary, if we live well enough, our legacy will last forever.”
How was it?
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 25-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, “So, tell me, how was it?”
“Oh, it was beautiful,” says the man. “The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we -”
His friend interrupts him. “A man your age! How could you make love almost every night?”
“Oh,” says the man, “we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday...”
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520
USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Four women were playing golf....
According to the FBI Homicide, the act of one person killing another, is a leading cause of death in the United States. While homicide encompasses illegal crimes of murder and manslaughter, as well as legally justified killings, such as killing someone in self-defense, data may differ depending upon the source. According to the FBI, there were 21,156 cases of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter, defined as the willful (nonnegligent) killing of one human being by another, in 2022 - equivalent to a rate of 6.3 homicides per 100,000 of the U.S. population. While this is a slight decrease from the previous year, these figures still represent the highest recorded levels since the late 90’s. Among affluent nations, the United States is an outlier; between 2000 and 2021, the U.S. had the highest homicide rate of the G7 countries, and as of 2023, was the only country outside of Mexico to feature in a ranking of the top seven most dangerous cities worldwide, as a result of the high homicide rate in St. Louis, Missouri. (statista.com)
ANA’S HOUSECLEANING SERVICES; APARTMENTS, homes, studios, office, Serving Douglas County, Carson, and Dayton, Lic.#202443295503 (775)508-3267
THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848
The first teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men. One of the men immediately grabbed his crotch and fell to the ground in agony.
The woman rushed over to the man and began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help,” she begged. “I’m a professional physiotherapist, and I can quickly relieve your pain.”
“No, I’ll be okay, just give me a minute,” he said, as he rolled on the ground in the fetal position, still clasping his hands over his crotch.
The woman persisted and insisted she could help, so the man finally agreed.
She gently took his hands away from his crotch.
Then, she loosened his pants and began to gently massage his privates.
“Does that feel better?” she asked.
“It feels great,” he said, “but my thumb still hurts like crazy.”
FOR SALE - 20 OR SO OLD TOY TRUCKS, TRACTORS AND A FEW CARS, BEST OFFER FOR ALL (775)7207667
CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051
DID YOU KNOW? Apart from Vitamin C, eggs contain every single vitamin. It also contains high traces of protein, fat, and minerals. The egg yolk is also one of the few foods that naturally contain Vitamin D.
What is State-dependent learning?
State-dependent learning refers to the phenomenon where individuals are more likely to retrieve information when they are in the same state of consciousness or emotional condition in which the information was originally encoded. This concept highlights how various internal states, such as mood, physiological condition, or even location, can significantly influence the ability to recall learned material, emphasizing the connection between encoding, storage, and retrieval processes.
State-dependent learning indicates that if you learn something while feeling a certain way or in a specific environment, you are more likely to remember it under similar conditions. This type of learning emphasizes that both internal states (like emotions) and external contexts (like physical surroundings) play critical roles in memory retrieval.
Research shows that drug-induced states can also affect memory recall, meaning if a person learns something while under the influence of a substance, they may remember it better while in that same state. State-dependent learning illustrates why studying in the same place where you’ll take an exam can boost recall performance.
This concept is closely related to the encoding specificity principle, suggesting that retrieval cues should match the context of the learned material for optimal recall.
WANTED 10HP-40HP OUTBOARD 4 STROKE motors, running or not, 20” shaft. Call Bob (831)345-6725
MOTORCYCLE FOR SALE! 2009 VICTORY Vision Tour
Premium semi Custom with reverse, many extras $5,500 OBO (775)267-3925
“The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”
DID YOU KNOW? Depression is the most common mental illness. Second to this is anxiety disorders. More than 264 million people of all ages today suffer from depression.
BOOKKEEPING & PAYROLL SERVICES. Accurate, professional, experienced. Contact us at Che.White@ CheWhiteBookkeeping.com or visit CheWhiteBookkeeping.com Minden Office (606)485-0533
CARNIVAL ARCADE GAME IN GREAT CONDTION
$500 OBO, free games, no coins needed (775)265-5742
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Lessons to learn from seniors
#1 Nothing in life is free. You have to work hard to get what you want in life, you can’t skip the ‘work hard’ part. #2 Always have ‘two hands on the broom’. If you are going to do a job, do it properly and with effort. #3 Hustle for what you love. #4 Have a skill. Be the best you can be at it and you will always be able to earn money. #5 Buy land. It’s the one thing they are not making more of. #6 Always leave people feeling happy. #7 You make your own face in life. If you’re good it will show. #8 The best things in life relate to invisible, non-tangible feelings. Not material things. It’s how you feel inside; happiness, peace, excitement, pride, which we can create ourselves and have complete control over.
#9 A first impression lasts forever so show up being the best version of yourself in everything you do. #10 If a jobs worth doing, it’s worth doing well. #11 The strength is in the team not the individual. #12 Deeds are more powerful than words. #13 Dress for the job you want, not the job you’ve got. #14 Everything is achievable if you want it hard enough and are willing to work for it. #15 What you think about all day long, is who you become. #16 Don’t make somebody else’s ‘crazy’ about you, you’ve got your own ‘crazy’ to deal with. #17 Never expect anything you haven’t worked for or earned. Everything else is a bonus. #18 There’s no such word as can’t. Anything is possible. #19 If you don’t understand why you’ve been asked to do something, ask. #20 Do the right thing, not the easy thing.
Memory problem
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”
WANTED, OLD CARS, COLLECTOR CARS, MUSCLE cars, non running or no title okay, private collector, give me a call (775)315-8265
LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585
FULL BASIC HOUSECLEANING - WEEKLY/BI-Weekly/Monthly, Move In Move Out - Offices - New Homes - Licensed/Bonded - Satisfaction Guaranteed - Free Estimates, Silvia/ Sky Cleaning Service - (775)461-9028
“It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-ityourself project.
#21 Don’t cause suffering to anyone knowingly. #22 You don’t have to be rich, to be ‘rich’. #23 Wealth is a state of mind first, not a state of wallet. Some of the wealthiest people are also the poorest from an emotional and life perspective. #24 It’s okay if you can’t provide support, it’s okay if you fail or succeed. They are all temporary, but your character remains and should always be your best. #25 Learn to be humble and kind, as you never know what others are going through. One small act of kindness can mean the world to someone. #26 Don’t get your measuring stick out. It will either make you vain or bitter. #27 Always be truthful. You’ll never forget what you’ve said if it’s said in truth.
2009 KIA SEDONA LX, POWER WINDOWS/LOCKS, XM RADIO, NEW TIRES, quiet, runs good, seats 6, tinted windows, always serviced, very clean inside and out, 180,000 miles, asking $4,195 (775)720-7667
HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? INTERIOR remodels, kitchens, bathrooms and more, Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
ALL GARAGE DOORS! $250 OFF - GARAGE door service with 50 years experience, offering Doors by CHI, Liftmaster garage door openers, spring or rollers replacement, senior, military and cash discounts. Jim Dyer Overhead Door (775)883-7740, para espanol (775)445-9448
FREE! SONY BRAVIA 54” TV; THULE VERTICAL kayak carrier, brand new, still in box $100, call or text (818)384-5478
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Kitchen Refinishing Services
BY ‘CABINET GUARD’ PRODUCTS (pat. pending)
DON’T RE-FACE OR REPLACE YOUR CABINETS UNTIL YOU EVALUATE OUR REFURBISHING / SERVICES! (WE ARE 80% LESS COSTLY)
We utilize exclusive Products & Processes by ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) w/ 40 + years of development by founder & master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your Cabinets”.
We blend over, ‘Refurbishing’ your original cabinet finish, so there is no stripping or sanding mess! We are completely dustless! Starting w/ a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & re-luster the wood’s grain for its contribution and light color (tint) to block yellowing from the original finish, w/ 100% UV protection all with exclusive ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) products.
Final topcoat/s, very durable, strong enough for hardwood flooring, superior ware, extreme moisture resistance, 100 % UV-Protected. * Easier to clean & maintain * Spray-less & EPA –Non -Toxic * No need to empty out Cabinets * You do not lose daily function of your kitchen * Good for environment, no tree cutting * Door Sampling * Written local Client Testimonials & References * Up to 20% in discounts, inquire.
Workdays: 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Returning your kitchen back to you until 9:00 a.m. the next morning! I Dana, perform all work on job site.
Questions: www.danadesignnv@hotmail.com or call: Dana,
Cabinets Etc. @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821 or visit our new website cabinetguard.net NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.
ARE YOU A VACATIONER, FREQUENT TRAVELER or an absentee owner? Northern Nevada Home Watch is a licensed and bonded home watch service providing regular visual inspections of homes and properties that are unoccupied for both a short or long term. Contact us at (775)2921272
C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, AND GENERAL maintenance, Call Casey (775)350-8021
Friends
Friends are like panties....Some crawl up your butt. Some snap under pressure. Some don’t have the strength to hold you up. Some get a little twisted. Some are your favorite. Some are holy. Some are cheap. Some are naughty. And some actually cover your butt when you need them to.
DECKS! RESURFACE, REPAIR, REPLACED AND trash removal, Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235
SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/ wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)790-5927
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Why Autism rates are rising
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.
Job’s Peak Veterinary Hospital Now Hiring
Reception/Cleaning/Animal Care, Full/Part Time, Monday - Friday, Apply In Person, 1454 Southgate Drive, Gardnerville, NV 89410
LAWNMOWER FOR SALE PLUS LARGE BOTTLE of weed killer and other garden supplies, all for $50 (775)2674609
PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827
ATV TIRES, LIKE NEW, KENDA EXECUTIONER 2-258-12--2-25-10-12 $200 (775)267-3925
5 key factors may be influencing the rise in autism diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported last month that the rate of autism in the United States is now 1 in 36 children. That rate has been dramatically increasing since the CDC began monitoring autism prevalence in 1996. In 2000, it was 1 in 150 children. In 2008, it was 1 in 88 children. In 2018, it was 1 in 44.
The rate of autism diagnosis across the world also seems to be increasing. In 2012, the global autism prevalence was estimated to be 6 in 1,000. The most recent study estimated global prevalence to be around 1 in 100.
So, why are the rates of autism increasing? Greater awareness. The primary reason that the rates of autism have increased is greater awareness of autism. More parents are aware of autism so they are more likely to seek evaluations for their children, and more mental health professionals have been educated about recognizing symptoms of autism, making them more likely to refer children and make diagnoses. Autism screening has also become more common. In the United States, children are typically screened for autism at 18 and 24 months, regardless of whether they are showing symptoms. Research finds that the increases in autism diagnoses have been associated with decreases in diagnoses of intellectual disability and learning disability, suggesting that children who might once have been diagnosed with an intellectual disability or learning disability are now diagnosed with autism.
Changing diagnostic criteria. The diagnostic criteria for autism have changed over the years, becoming broader and including more mild presentations of autism.
Increased availability of services. Over the years, services for autism have become more readily available. The availability of services has encouraged more people to seek a diagnosis in order to gain access to these services.
Increase in parental age. Across the world, people are waiting longer to become parents. For example, the average age for a first birth was 21 in 1970, but rose to 27 in the U.S. by 2021 (source: CDC). Increased parental age (both maternal and paternal) has been associated with an increased likelihood of autism. Yet research estimates that this accounts for less than 3 percent of the rise in autism prevalence, so, while this may play a role, it does not completely explain the increase.
More premature babies. Advances in neonatal medicine have allowed more extremely premature infants (born before 28 weeks) to survive. These advances are incredibly important, but they may also be linked to increasing autism rates since premature and low birth weight babies have higher rates of autism. In addition, the rates of prematurity (babies born before 37 weeks) seem to be increasing in some countries, including the U.S. According to the March of Dimes, the prematurity rate rose by 4 percent in the United States from 2020 to 2021 and is now at the highest rate since the country began tracking this data in 2007. The preterm birth rate also grew gradually in the 1990s and 2000s in the U.S. (Cara Goodwin, Ph.D. - Psychology Today)
PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, EADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627
2016 26’ PACIFIC COACHWORKS RAGEN TOYHAULER 19EX-102” wide, good condition, well maintained, new tires, new roof, new water tank. Easy to tow, reduced to $19,500, call/text (760)914-1341
Your chances are better...
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.
“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.
“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”
COSTUME JEWELRY: ALL TYPES INCLUDING vintage rhinestones, lockets, charm bracelets, rings, necklaces, tourist Indian jewelry, wind up watches, men’s jewelry, old pocket knives, old lighters, military jewelry, vintage jewelry type items, fountain pens, old service pins, badges. Interesting bits and pieces. larger quantities preferred. I return all calls. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119
Bald Eagles
The U.S. national bird, known for its dramatic wingspan of up to 8 feet has another superlative ability: nest building. Bald eagles, like most other birds, build their nests in trees. Unlike most other birds, bald eagles build nests that can break those trees.
A typical bald eagle nest is big: up to 5 feet n diameter and up to 6 feet deep. But that’s nothing compared to the largest nest ever discovered. One found in Florida in the 1960s had a weight of more than 2.2 tons, a diameter of 9.6 feet, and a depth of 20 feet. Another that fell out of a tree in Ohio in the 1920s was 8.5 feet across, 12 feet deep, and weighed about 2 tons.
How does a pair of birds build a nest that massive? Slowly. Bald eagles use the same nest year after year, sometimes for decades, and they’re constantly adding twigs, branches, moss, feathers and other nesting material. The Ohio Department of Natural Resources estimates that bald eagles, likely more than one mating pair over time, had been building and living in that 2-ton Ohio nest for about 35 years before it fell.
SONNYS TRUMP STORE BUSINESS CLOSING January 31st, Everything ½ price Now Supersale.1504 US Highway 395 Gardnerville Unit #6 upstairs, Monday-Saturday 10:30am to 6pm (775)781-2125
NEED HELP? WE OFFER EXCAVATOR AND FORKLIFT services as well as cleanup, trash p/u and hauling, Call (775)781-3958
Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com
$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
CUTE RARE MINIATURE LABRADOODLE PUPS, COAT PATTERNS, blue and chocolate merle, some with tuxedo paws, etc, 12 weeks old, up to date on vaccinations. For more details call (775)685-0528
Dates to remember!
January 20th - Martin Luther King Day - January 29thChinese New Year - February 2nd - Groundhog Day - February 14th - Valentine’s Day- February 17th - President’s Day - March 1st - Ramada Begins - March 5th - Ash WednesdayMarch 17th - St. Patricks Day -March 20th -First Day of Spring - Yippee!
CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352
Hillbilly in hospital
A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor’s every move, he asked, “What’s that?”
The doctor explained, “This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won’t know anything that’s going on.”
“Save your time, Doc,” exclaimed the man. “He don’t know nothing now.”
TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671
“The
Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Diary of a snow shoveler
For Sierra newcomerss too! A wintry read one can’t resist!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again! What a perfect life.
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. l don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man - I’m glad he’s our neighbor.
BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
Misunderstanding
A nun and a huge man were standing in an elevator. Being the nice person that she was, she looked over at him, smiled, and said “T.G.I.F.” He looked back at her and said “S.H.I.T.”
The nun was shocked. She turned to the man and said “There was no need to be rude, all I said was “Thank God It’s Friday.” The man looked back at her and said, “Well you must have misunderstood me because all I said was Sorry Honey, it’s Thursday.”
COMPUTER PROBLEMS? DO YOU NEED help connecting your gadgets? On-site computer repair and network configurations, Honest and Affordable, justin.nelson@ goowy.com (775)450-3735
DID YOU KNOW? A person will sleep an average of 25 years in their lifetime. The average time a person sleeps at night is around 8 hours. People also spend an average of 7 years trying to go to sleep.
WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224
December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8” last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so. December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity’s back on, but had another 14” of stupid snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That stupid snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the restroom. By the time I got undressed, went and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23: Only 2” of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts? Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she’s lying.
December 24: 6” today. Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the jerk who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at about 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that stupid snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over
the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THAT WOMAN is driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9” predicted.
December 31: Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE
Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930
“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
The day before I die
Showing his friend around his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.
“The day before I die, I’d like to sell every piece we’ve got just to see how much it’s all worth.”
“Well,” his friend replies, “since you couldn’t possibly know the day before you were going to die, you’ll never be able to sell!”
“And that’s where you’re wrong,” the man smiled. “If I sell it, my wife would kill me!”
MOUNTAIN POOL & SPA - WE CLEAN pools and spas, monthly and bi-monthly service (530)318-1698
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $22.85/hour or up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week. Contracted positions for permanent routes include; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave & holidays. NV PERS retirement. Please apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
Bragging about son
Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat. If I so much or hint that I want something, the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Freddie”, says Gertrude. “But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper. He truly treats me like a queen.”
“WELL!” Says Barbara “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry. Twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them. And who do you think he speaks about at those prices, asks Barbara with a big excited double chin smile. “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”
BB GUN WITH 1500 PREMIUM GRADE BBS, ONLY $30 (775)267-4609
1999 FORD F600 DIESEL TRUCK, FOR MORE details call George in TRE (775)790-2786
4 PACK OF 20 X 20 X 1 FILTER BY MERV 8 A/C Filter’s $20; New Drive Medical Tub Transfer Bench Model RTL-12075 (300 lb) Open Box $75; Rely Ultimate preventive disposable underwear LARGE $15 pack; Rely Maximum Preventive Disposable Underwear LARGE $15 pack; Gentle Rise Dog Couch Ramp 53”x17”x17” (130 Ib Capacity ) $115; Greenworks model # 21212 13” Electric Yard Trimmer $30; Located in Yerington, Cash ONLY-- Firm (775)315-2668
“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932
MARLIN LEVER ACTION BB RIFLE WITH 1500 BB’S, new in box $50; M15 polished Bayonet, new in box $20, 150 DVD’S (775)750-0816
DID YOU KNOW? An average person walks about 100,000 miles (160,934 km) in his or her lifetimes, which is like walking around the world four times at the equator.
ZENI’S CLEANING SERVICES! COMMERCIAL and Residential, licensed, affordable and friendly, family owned, 20 years experience, free estimates, Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, zeniscleaning2022@ gmail.com or (775)901-6689
HANDYMAN - SMALL CONCRETE WORK, REPAIRS and some overlays, Call Chuck (775)552-5151
“The
SENIOR LADY HAS LARGE STUDIO AVAILABLE, in exchange for full time housekeeper/helper, non smoker, no pets, Latino welcome, only healthy, capable ladies apply, Gardnerville, call/text (775)790-0177
WE’RE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR CLUTTER problems. Put a roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove, ask us about our available loading assistance (775)297-2320
GOD BLESS CALIFORIA AND THANK YOU FIREFIGHTERS AND FIRST RESPONDERS!
Texas cowboy
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers, which he definitely was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And you don’t want me to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. They knew not to underestimate the word of a Texan, especially one who had a few too many beers. The man finished off a few more beers and walked outside where his horse had been returned. He saddled up, and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and saw the man stumbling to get on his horse. “Say, partner,” he said, “before you go...what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
STUCCO AND DRYWALL, PAINT SERVICES, Interior, Exterior wall repairs, cracks, peels, dents, tape texturing, wall paper, popcorn ceiling, removal and refinish, “paint”, 25 years experience, Free Estimates, Licensed and Bonded, Call Fred (775)507-6315
“Some call it chaos, others call it family.”
Beginner snow skier gripes
Why do you have to stand in a line and try to maneuver long stick things on the ends of your feet while waiting for the chair lift and try to get on without falling on your butt? It’s the STRESS of it all that gets me.
Why do you have to ride on a ski lift so high in the air? I’m not a fan of heights. Can’t there be like a ground shuttle that takes you up?
Why do you have to point your skis up and sit forward and then ski down a hill? Does this make ANY sense to ANYONE? This is a sure recipe for disaster. Just the thought of getting my tips up sends me into a panic. (Actually the WORDS ‘get your tips up’ just don’t sound right! It sounds like aviation to me!) I want them to stop the ski lift and let me stand up and gracefully slide down - preferably on my butt. I’m going to end up there anyway!
Why do the hills have to be so steep? Don’t they know that speed kills? The only way to combat this for me is to ski sideways - back and forth across the face of the mountain. Do you know how long that takes? Do you know how close I have to get to the edge because I hate turning?
Why do I have to snowplow to slow down? That is so stressful on your knees and I do not like going too fast so if I ever DO go downhill, I can barely feel my knees by the time I’m down the first run.
CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352
SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955
2021 EVOLUTION ELECTRIC GOLF CART. MULTIcolor wheel well lights, front light bar, registered, street legal, stereo, backup camera. Hardly used, new $15,680, asking $12,500 (760)784-1434
RYAN PAINTING, INSIDE AND OUT, 40 YEARS experience, senior and military discounts, locally owned and operated, serving Minden, Gardnerville, Genoa, Carson and Tahoe (775)790-7425
HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 195060’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827
HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Happy 8th birthday to my grandboy “Theo”
“The years might be flying by, but I still love you as much as I did when you were first born. I treasure all of our memories we shared at the skate park, at the rec. center, on our hikes, playing what can you hear, flying a kite and everything else we had a fun time doing.
You will always be the light of my life. I love you, miss you and wish you a very happy March 3rd birthday!” GrandmaLisa
KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052
BARRETT MODEL 98 338 LAPUA RIFLE, INCLUDES 700 rounds of ammunition, 8TN Scope 12x36x80 with Pelican gun case $8,000 OBO, Call or text (775)980-7903
BEAUTIFUL SHEARLING COATS, LIGHTLY USED. MEN’S size 42 and women’s size 14. Coats are caramel and tan colors. Sell separate or as package. Contact weykota@ outlook.com for photos or call (775)267-0926
Smart Pills
One day a boy and his father were walking through the woods when the son spotted some rabbit droppings. The boy asked his Dad, ‘’What are these Pop?’’
‘’They’re smart pills son,’’ said his father. ‘’Eat some and they’ll make you smarter.”
So he ate some and said, ‘’Yuck...these taste like poop!’’
‘’See,’’ said his father, ‘’you’re already getting smarter!’’
DID YOU KNOW? Human beings can use only a small fraction of Earth’s water. That’s because only about 2.5 percent of Earth’s water is fresh water, and only 1 percent of that is accessible. The rest makes up glaciers and snowfields.
ALL GARAGE DOORS! $250 OFF - GARAGE door service with 50 years experience, offering Doors by CHI, Liftmaster garage door openers, spring or rollers replacement, senior, military and cash discounts. Jim Dyer Overhead Door (775)883-7740, para espanol (775)445-9448
AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $90, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214
