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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”


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MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 “A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906 PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 SOUTHWEST COUCH AND LOVE SEAT $300 OBO (775)720-3978 HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 COMPUTER DESK WITH SLIDEOUT, EXCELLENT condition $72 OBO, Carson (530)227-4080

ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321 SOLID OAK ANTIQUE DESK $300; OAK Architect’s desk with 6 side drawers, map compartment, top rises for drawing $450, Gardnerville (775)364-4769 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 HARRY’S HAULING; PIANOS, SPAS, SAFES OR anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648 TNT UPHOLSTERY; ANTIQUE FURNITURE, Leather work, Auto and Boats, Special on Headliners, 1482 Southgate Dr. #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”


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New Years Special


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” 91-Year Old Woman at Same Company for 71 Years

ETHAN ALLEN JENNIE LYNN DOUBLE PLUS mattress and box springs, good condition $125, Gardnerville (775)364-4769 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422 HANDY HAMILTONS WINTER DISCOUNT, November - April. Experienced Handyman, Quality work at a fair price, Free estimates, Call Mark Hamilton (775)720-9595 CONCEALED WEAPONS CLASSES NEVADA and Utah $50 each, email or (775)360-5214 FREE! 1990’S WOOD STOVE BY SWEETHOME, Oregon manufacturer, bought by eastern company, complete, paperwork, brick inserts, heavy, bring friends, pay for ad, Gardnerville (775)364-4769

Happy New Year to All! 6

In current culture, millennials move from job to job in order to climb the ladder. The average time spent at a company is just two years. For baby boomers and other generations, this was not the norm. Loyalty and dedication to a single company or career drove, and still drives, many of their careers. AOL’s original series Lifers features these dedicated, loyal workers who have been in their jobs for years and years. Will they retire? Are they prepared to? “On the 10th day of April 1946, I came to work - and I still can’t wait to come to work, and it’s 71 years later,” says Elena Griffing, a patient relations coordinator at the Sutter Health Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in Berkeley, Calif. Now 91 years old, the Orinda, California resident she says that being a part of the medical field when she started work at the age of 20 was “just magic.” Colleagues describe her as “strong-willed” and “independent” - factors that they think help keep her scampering down the halls in her kitten heels, joyful to be at work each day. The chief medical executive of the Sutter Health Alta Bates Summit Medical Center calls Griffing “the heart and soul” of the hospital, and her influence on the facility and its culture nothing less than “extraordinary.” Griffing was diagnosed with a hemoglobin disorder at the age of 19, and landed in the hospital where she would eventually work. She stayed there for four months, recovering. One day, some lab technicians were complaining that a secretary had not come in, and that this had slowed down their ability to work. Griffing says that one of them asked her, “Are you a secretary? You should get to work.” And the rest is history. After starting in reception, Griffing then moved into pathology, hand-delivering reports and test results long before computers arrived on the scene. Back then, Griffing explains, “Everything was done by hand.” Now, Griffing is the hospital’s goodwill ambassador, a natural fit for her combined love of patient care and working in a medical environment. Griffing brings a smile and skip in her step to tasks as seemingly simple as reuniting patients with lost belongings, because she understands how important a smile and communicating a sense of personal investment in your work can be to others. With an attitude like that, it’s no wonder that Griffing has taken only four sick days in her 71 years on the job - and still, she says she’s “furious” that she’s even had to take those. “I don’t have time to be depressed. I refuse to be depressed. I don’t have time to be sad, because I’m having too much fun being happy,” Griffing says, discussing what she thinks is the secret of her success. “You work every day. You have to think and solve problems every day. That ol’ gray matter still works.” Will she ever stop working? Griffing says she’ll keep

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taking it a year at a time, but certainly hopes to be able to work for at least another four years, until she can complete 75 years. She continues, smiling, “I will retire when they push me out the door or carry me out in a box. End of story.”

Chronic Pain/Chronic Illness Anonymous Meetings...

Saturdays in Carson City at noon. For more information and details call Roberta at (775)885-7096

GOLFER’S! HOW’S YOUR GAME? WE build or repair your clubs! We can also help you with your swing! Call Tom (775)265-3257

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, Specializing in Painting, Remodels, Tile, Finish Carpentry, Decks, Home Repairs, Window and Door Replacement, Quality Workmanship with over 28 years experience, free estimates, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727, or (775)690-1749

HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)267-7358

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

FOUR 2016 STUDDED SNOW TIRES USED ONE season, 2,500 miles, Arctic A Himax 215/60 R17, $530 new, make offer Genoa (352)250-5644

INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418

HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”


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I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So, we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.” MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

Graduation Speech

When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. ‘I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,’ he told the audience. ‘She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.’ At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, ‘Sorry, but it’s really hard to read my mother’s handwriting.’ PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252


TREADMILL FOR SALE, GOOD CONDITION, best offer (775)885-7638

WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999

RUSTIC COUNTRY FURNITURE COMPANY makes unique custom rustic furniture from barn wood, Email or call Chris (775)782-1130 or (775)552-5424


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments. A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, (775)392-2000 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! or (530)694-2521 MONTANA CANVAS OUTFITTERS TENT, 10’x12’x5’ walls, fly, floor and 1¼” frame $400; Sage fly rod 9’ #6 weight with Ross reel, line and rod and reel case $100 (530)388-8301

Trying to Warn You!

Farm Boys

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?” “No, he went with Mom and Dad.” The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.” “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably. “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”. The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.” WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity Jeff (775)720-2577 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880


A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’ ‘Moses,’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’ ‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’ PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539

January 15th- Martin Luther King Day

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Only Reason You Married Me

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, the unhappy husband finally confronted her. ‘Admit it, Linda. The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million.’ ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she replied. ‘I don’t care who left it to you.’ WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)7829192

Mosquito’s First Flight!

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!” GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” McDonald Brothers

Mason Valley Beekeepers Present...

8th annual Nevada State Beekeepers Conference, February 23-25, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Includes Hands-on workshops and top bee-researchers. For more information and to register: “A Day with Dr. Larry Connor”, January 15, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Topic: How to Keep Bees Alive, Lunch and snacks provided. For more information and to register: “Introduction to Bees and Beekeeping”, January 20, 2018, Yerington, Nevada. Basics to start beekeeping and the first-year maintenance. Lunch, snacks and book included in registration. For more information and to register: More questions? Contact Debbie Gilmore at debbie@ or (775)463-2757 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753 REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955


As the Great Depression strangled the mill towns of their native New Hampshire, a pair of young brothers headed west with dreams of making it big as Hollywood producers. The only work that Richard and Maurice McDonald could ever land in the film industry, however, was pushing around movie sets, and the small cinema they opened in suburban Los Angeles fizzled. Thirty-seven-year-old Maurice and thirty-one-year-old Richard had to wonder if their hopes of becoming millionaires by the time they turned 50 were just delusions as they opened a tiny drive-in restaurant in San Bernardino, California, on May 15, 1940. Little did they know that their new restaurant would be the meal ticket to fulfilling their American dreams. The original McDonald’s at the corner of 14th and E Streets, just a few blocks from historic Route 66, bore little resemblance to today’s ubiquitous “golden arches,” beginning with the menu. Hard as it may be to believe, the future fast-food giant started out by serving up barbecue slow-cooked for hours in a pit stocked with hickory chips imported from Arkansas. The feature item at McDonald’s Famous Bar-B-Q was a barbecued beef, ham or pork sandwich with french fries for 35 cents. The eclectic 25-item menu included everything from tamales and chili to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to ham and baked beans. The 25-cent “aristocratic hamburger” sounded like an offering better suited for Burger King. The octagon-shaped drive-in barbecue joint lacked inside seating and sported a few stools at its exterior counters, but female carhops in majorette boots and short skirts served most customers who pulled into its parking lot. As the brothers’ business caught on, sales topped $200,000 a year, and as many as 125 cars filled its parking lot on a weekend. After World War II, drive-in competition in San Bernardino grew, and the McDonalds discovered something surprising about their barbecue restaurant—80 percent of their sales came from hamburgers. “The more we hammered away at the barbecue business, the more hamburgers we sold,” said Richard McDonald, according to John F. Love’s book “McDonald’s: Behind the Arches.” The brothers closed their doors for three months and overhauled their business as a self-service restaurant where customers placed their orders at the windows. They fired their 20 carhops and ditched their silverware and plates for paper wrappings and cups so that they no longer needed a dishwasher. According to Love, they simplified their menu to just nine items—hamburgers, cheeseburgers, three soft drink flavors in one 12-ounce size, milk, coffee, potato chips and pie. “Our whole concept was based on speed, lower prices and volume,” Richard McDonald said. Taking a cue from Henry Ford’s assembly line production of automobiles, the McDonald brothers developed the “Speedee Service Sys-

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tem” and mechanized the kitchen of their roadside burger shack. Each of its 12-person crew specialized in specific tasks, and much of the food was preassembled. This allowed McDonald’s to prepare its food quickly and even ahead of the time when an order was placed. All hamburgers were served with ketchup, mustard, onions and two pickles, and any customers who wanted food prepared their way would have to wait. “You make a point of offering a choice and you’re dead,” Richard McDonald told the Chicago Tribune in 1985, “the speed’s gone.” According to Love, the first customer at the newly reopened McDonald’s was a 9-year-old girl ordering a bag of hamburgers. The retooled restaurant struggled at first, though, and fired carhops heckled the brothers. Once McDonald’s replaced potato chips with french fries and introduced triple-thick milkshakes, however, the business began to take off with families and businessmen drawn by the cheap, 15-cent hamburgers and low-cost menu. With labor costs slashed and revenue growing to $350,000 a year by the early 1950s, the McDonald brothers saw their profits double. They had already established a handful of franchises in California and Arizona by the time a milkshake mixer salesman named Ray Kroc visited San Bernardino in 1954. Kroc couldn’t understand why the McDonalds could possibly need eight of his Multi-Mixers, capable of making 48 milkshakes at once, for just one loca-

tion until he set eyes on the operation. Seeing the potential in the business, the salesman quickly became the buyer. Kroc bought the rights to franchise the brothers’ restaurants across the country, and in 1955 he opened his first McDonald’s in Des Plaines, Illinois. The relationship between Kroc and the McDonald brothers grew very contentious as the aggressive salesman and the conservative Yankees had different philosophies about how to run their business. Kroc chafed at the requirement that he receive a registered letter from the McDonalds to make any changes to the retail concept—something the brothers were reluctant to do. Continued on next page...


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” is slated to be the lead character in the story of the global growth of McDonald’s. ( LARGE RECLINER, BROWN, LIKE NEW, NO signs of wear $150 OBO (775)790-0316 HDS INSURANCE REPRESENTING NUMEROUS top companies, we do the shopping for you, right priced, right coverage, all lines of insurance (775)267-9947

Both Sides of the Law

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, ‘Are you seriously hurt?’ ‘How should I know?’ the man answers, ‘I’m not a lawyer!’ 4 LES SCHWAB 255/55R-18XL WINTER-CAT SST Traction BW less than 1,000 miles, 4 BMW X5 18”x8.5” style 210 5 spoke aluminum wheels with TPMS valve stems $1,000 (775)267-3781 TRADE DOG SITTING, I CARE FOR YOUR DOG in my home in exchange for you lodging mine when I am away, Minden (775)301-9064

“It was almost as though they were hoping I would fail,” Kroc wrote in his 1977 autobiography, “Grinding It Out.” In 1961, Kroc purchased the company from the McDonald brothers for $2.7 million. While the name of the chain may have been McDonald’s, the face of the restaurants quickly became Kroc’s. Plaques with his likeness were mounted on the walls of many franchises with a description of how “his vision, persistence and leadership have guided McDonald’s from one location in Des Plaines, Illinois to the world’s community restaurant.” The brothers who lent their name to the business and pioneered the fast-food concept faded to the background. After selling the business, the founders kept their original San Bernardino restaurant, to the annoyance of Kroc, which they renamed “Big M,” with the golden arches on the marquee sharpened to form a giant letter “M.” To gain his revenge, Kroc opened a McDonald’s around the block that eventually drove the brothers out of business. The original McDonald’s was torn down in the 1970s and replaced by a nondescript building that housed the San Bernardino Civic Light Opera before becoming the headquarters of another fast-food chain, Juan Pollo Chicken, which operates a small unofficial museum with McDonald’s artifacts inside. The McDonald brothers may finally get their Hollywood moment next year in the feature film “The Founder,” although Kroc, played by Michael Keaton,


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Let’s Pretend

Sertoma’s Crab and Tri-Tip Dinner...

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower. In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?” The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, “I have a better idea, just for tonight, let’s make pretend that we’re married.” The man says happily, “OK!” AWESOME!” The woman says, “GOOD... get your own darn blanket!!!”

is February 10th, 2018 at Douglas County Community and Senior Center, 1329 Waterloo Lane, Gardnerville. The all-you-can-eat feast, sponsored by Carson Valley Sertoma in partnership with Douglas County Senior Center, will start at 4pm and is $45 per person. Beer and wine will be available. Part of the profits go to the Senior Center’s Soup Program in Gardnerville. Seating is limited and last year the event was sold out prior to the event. Call (775)7820758 to get your tickets now.

$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

LIVING WATER IS THE CLEANING SERVICE you can depend on, Residential and Commercial, etc., NV License #06-22437 Angelina (775)229-3178

2003 36’ MONTANA BIG SKY 5TH WHEEL, 3 SLIDE outs, 2 air conditioners, solar panels, generator, new tires, fully loaded, excellent condition, asking $17,500 OBO (775)230-0730

CARIBOU 1994 TRUCK CAMPER LONG BED, all appliances work well, inside clean and good condition, outside fair, sleeps 4-5, $2,500 OBO, Yerington (775)315-6540


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Let Us Live

On the day I die a lot will happen. A lot will change. The world will be busy. On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended. The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone. The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me. All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard. The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me. The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace. All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted. My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway. Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away. My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway. The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to


maintain will be of little concern for me anymore. All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless. The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived. These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die. Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen. On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply. They will feel a void. They will feel cheated. They will not feel ready. They will feel as though a part of them has died as well. And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me. I know this from those I love and grieve over. And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it. I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control. Friends, those other things have an insidious way of

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keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections. They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you. Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can. It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die. Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t. Yes, you and I will die one day. But before that day comes: let us live. (John Pavlovitz)

Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, “Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how’s that toilet brush?” “Not so good,” replied Bubba, “I reckon I’m gonna go back to paper.”

1974 VW SUPER BUG, STRAIGHT BODY, NO RUST, NEEDS TLC and comes with many parts and a factory rebuilt 1600 engine dual port with zero miles, new engine is not in car $1,800 (775)465-2359

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in motorcycle seats, furniture, marine, automotive, 20 years experience, or (775)530-3941

RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at, ship orders to store for free, call Robert or Megan for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV


Raffle Prizes!


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Being Chased By A Bear

Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second guy says, “What are you doing?” He says, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll jump down and make a run for it.” The second guy says, “Are you crazy? You can’t outrun a bear.” The first guy says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you.” VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)720-1918 or (775)267-2582 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

What Should They Say?

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.” The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say, “Look! He’s moving!” PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 1930’S (REPRODUCTIONS) TWIN LOUIS XIV chairs, fixer uppers $150, Sue (775)267-2184 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919


FORD FLAT HEAD 59-AB TYPE ENGINES; one was running when pulled, priced at $200, other engine has heads and intake removed, asking $100, Fred (775)2417526

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, Visit or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 FIREWOOD, SEASONED, SPLIT, ALMOND ONLY $420 a cord, cut to size, under 16”, 16”-18”, 18”-22”, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWERLY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave clear message on this home phone. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)4659422 2001 CADILLAC ELDORADO ESC, NEW tires, new battery, well maintained, 124,300 miles $2,500 OBO (775)465-2936 or (775)720-4634

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Murder Island

The Mailbox

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, quite naive neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, “Is something wrong?” “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying “You’ve Got Mail.” SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 40 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316 1994 FORD F150 PICKUP, 2 WHEEL DRIVE, red and white tuck and roll upholstery, good condition $2,200 OBO (775)220-6106 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766


Just to the south of Yarmouth in Nova Scotia lies a series of islands, known as the Tusket Islands. Of the dozens of islands in the chain, one stands out as so notorious, so infamous, it was actually named “Murder Island.” There are several stories regarding the name’s provenance. During the middle of the 1700’s a French missionary was visiting villages and spreading Christianity to the native inhabitants. The missionary inexplicably told two coastal tribes about a buried pirate treasure on the island, when both tribes came into contact while looking for the alleged treasure, they soon attacked each other and a massive massacre ensued, which decimated each tribe (believed to be the Iroquois and the Mi’kmaq). The bodies of the tribe members who perished in the massacre were left to rot on the island. Later, French explorers landed on the island and found piles of human remains and named the island “I’sle du Massacre”, AKA “Murder Island.” A far more mysterious tale regarding the name of the island surrounds a ship named the Baltimore, which landed on the island’s shore in the mid 1700’s. However, the entire crew was dead upon arrival. The ship was covered in blood. All but one. The sole survivor of the mysterious mass-murder was a woman. Once she disembarked she disappeared. These two aren’t the only possible theories: The confusing and conflicting stories of an Indian massacre or a convict revolt were never satisfactorily explained and the sole survivor disappeared, along with her tale. Another explanation has an epidemic of smallpox decimating a French fleet sent to capture Acadia in the 1700’s. Hundreds of dead were supposedly unloaded on the tiny island. Numerous reports of bleached human bones emerging from the cobble beaches up until this century has lend some credence to the story. However, the mystery remains. - (Coastal Adventures) A newspaper article that appeared in local Nova Scotia papers in 1927 recalled a statement by an Anthony Ferdinand Herbin, a former navigator, who claimed that buccaneers buried caches of Spanish doubloons and silver, worth millions of dollars: “I was born in Windsor, Nova Scotia, sixty-three years ago,” said he. “At that time my uncle, Chas. Robishau, was sailing a vessel, Acadia and Bordeaux. I can remember when I was just six years old my uncle returning after he had been chased by a ship flying the skull and crossbones. He told my mother how he had been navigating his barque about 120 miles off Cape Sable when a pirate opened fire and gave chase. This was in the afternoon. For the rest of the day he flew before the wind and after sunset put out all his lights and doubled back on his track. In this way he avoided them and escaped. He had several other adventures like this.” My uncle was murdered by a member of his crew named J. Dugal, a FrenchCanadian, near Belleveau, N.S.” To this day, it’s believed that a large pirate treasure hoard

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remains hidden on the island. Waiting for some intrepid explorer to discover it. MADAME ALEXANDER FIRST LADY DOLL COLLECTION, Series II, 6 dolls still in boxes $150; Stamp Collection, 1,000’s of stamps, old ones too $175, Dayton (712)249-3015 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at or (800)459-5179

Community Bible Study

Co-ed Monday evening class starts January 8th, LifePoint Church, Minden, 6:55pm-8:30pm. Women’s, Men’s, Couples’ groups. Sandy Wingfield (775)392-4213 FRESH BATCH, NEW CROP! ROASTED GARLIC Jam, Sold at Scolari’s Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)463-1265 1992 FORD F250, RUNS ON PROPANE AND gasoline asking $2,999 OBO (775)266-3820


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Golf Nut

A man and a woman meet on vacation and quickly fall in love. At the trip’s end, they decide to open up to each other. “It’s only fair to warn you, Jody,” Bill says. “I’m a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep, and breathe golf.” “Well, I’ll be honest, too,” Jody says. “I’m a hooker.” The man looks crestfallen for a moment, then says, “Are you keeping your wrists straight?” HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, or (775)267-2534 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

Flying Pig Flea Market

Merry Christmas to all! Our next dates will be February 24th, 8am-4pm and February 25th, 9am-4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City. Be a vendor. Come to browse, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! ARE YOU PREPARED? A great resume is your key to success. Military discount. (DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now! (775)267-2711 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 + YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351 MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)781-1616 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)2671958


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The Pistachio Tree

The scientific name for the pistachio is Pistacia vera L. It is a member of the family Anacardiaceae which contains such widely known plants as the cashew, mango and poison oak. It is a deciduous tree, requiring approximately 1,000 hours of temperature at or below 45° F in order to grow normally after its winter dormancy. Pistachio nut trees, generally, are suited for areas where summers are long, hot and dry, and the winters are moderately cold. A native desert tree, it does not tolerate high humidity in the growing season. The trees are dormant from December through February and begin to bloom with the arrival of warmer weather in late March. The male pollinates the female via the April winds, and the shell of the nut is fully developed by midMay. Before June ends, the seed inside the shell has begun its rapid expansion and by the first of August, the seed has filled the shell. The nuts, splitting at the seams, are usually ready to be harvested the first week of September. Pistacia vera L. probably originated in Central Asia where large stands of wild trees are found in areas known today as Iran, Turkey and Afghanistan. The first commercial plantings in these countries were most likely started from seeds collected from the best wild trees. The tree was introduced into Mediterranean Europe at about the beginning of the Christian era. The climate in the Tularosa Basin is almost identical to the pistachio producing areas of Iran and Turkey. The altitude of both areas is identical. Although the pistachio was first introduced into California by the US Department of Agriculture about 1904, very little interest was generated until the 1950’s. Since that time, pistachios have become a significant farm commodity in California. Plantings have also been made in Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas in those areas that meet the climate criteria. The tree flourishes and bears well in well-drained soils, but its root system will not tolerate prolonged wet conditions. It seems more tolerant to alkaline and saline conditions than most other commercial trees. The vigor and productive life of the tree is extremely long lasting. In the mid-East, there are trees on record of having productivity of several hundred years. The pistachio is a small tree, reaching about 30 feet of height at full maturity. Usual commercial plantings are approximately 120 trees per acre. They begin to produce nuts in the 4th or 5th year after planting, and good production takes 8 to 10 years, with full bearing maturity occurring after 15 to 20 years. Average yield per tree is 1/2lb the 5th year, increasing to up to 20lb at maturity. ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/residential, 10% discount for spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Beware of Dog!

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,” he replied. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?” “Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.” POLARIS 570, 3 PASSENGER UTV, LIKE NEW, many extras including a new cover, new trailer with tie down straps, asking $13,500 OBO (775)241-2401 LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229 EARLY 1970’S DODGE CHARGER PARTS, CALL Dave (775)230-3626

Ten Reasons Why Employers Should Serve Alcohol at Work

1 It reduces complaints about low pay. 2 It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 3 It eliminates holidays because people would rather come to work. 4 Employees work later instead of going to the bar. 5 Stops employees from getting drunk on their lunch break. 6 Staff no longer need free coffee to sober up. 7 It makes everyone more open with their ideas. 8 It cuts down on time off because staff can work with a hangover. 9 Employees are a lot less likely to remember about promotion. 10 It leads to more honest communications. FOR SALE BY OWNERS! MINERS’ MOUNTAIN INN LLC on Markleeville Creek, see on, details call (775)265-1480 RENT ME FOR WINTER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING walls and more! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts And Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)4502156


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Parking Space

A woman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.” Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination. The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.” SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM work, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 MINK JACKET BLACK RANCH (MEDIUM), FROM William Furs, cleaned and glazed, ready for the holiday’s $450 (775)392-0044 WINTER SPECIALS! CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! Repair, Re-Stitch, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706

Woman of His Dreams

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he’ll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game. That night, he shows up at his mother’s house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, ‘OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?’ Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, ‘The one in the middle.’ The young man is astounded. ‘How in the world did you figure it out?’ ‘Easy,’ she says. ‘I don’t like her.’ NEEDED, AN EXPERIENCED PLUMBER TYPE Handyman for projects in Walker/Coleville area. Please contact me at (775) 745-0612 1977 CHEVY STEPSIDE PICKUP $6,500 OBO; 2002 HARLEY Davidson Road King, 21,000 miles, $7,000 OBO, Robbie (775)463-3365


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” How Much Will You Need to Send Your Child to College in 2030?

According to the US Department of Education, the average cost of a year at public school is $15,100 and $32,900 for private institutions. Those costs are more than outpacing inflation and wage growth. Today, there is more outstanding student loan debt than credit card debt. More than 11 percent of graduates have racked up more than $50,000 in student loans, according to a 2009 survey by Sallie Mae. If you are the parent of a young child, it’s only going to be worse by the time your child is ready to enroll in college. Assuming your child is going to opt for a value educa-


tion from a public school, you’ll want to know what the cost of college will be in 2030. According to the US Department of Education, the average annual cost of public school increased 6.5 percent each year over the last decade. That means that by 2030, annual public tuition will be $44,047. The total cost for a four-year degree will be more than $205,000. ( APPLIANCE REPAIR! SAVE $25 ON YOUR NEXT in home appliance repair, with this ad! Serving Carson City, Dayton, Minden for over 30 years. New and Used Sales, Sams TV and Appliance, 1501 Fairview (775)885-1939

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Gotcha!

On their way home after celebrating their 25th anniversary, the wife thanks the husband for a wonderful, romantic evening. “Oh, it’s not over yet”, says the husband. Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box. She opens it in anticipation, “But what are these two little pills?” “Aspirin”, he says. FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776 HOT SPOT SX HOT TUB FOR SALE - LIKE NEW, selling for $2,500 OBO, you are responsible for pickup, serious inquiries only (775)267-2152 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574

WNC Community Education

Classes begin soon: Introduction to Western Silversmithing; Quickbooks I, II, and III, R.I.P.P.E.D. great exercise class; Refresh Mathematics; Access Careers Career Development & Job Seeking Strategies; Conversational Spanish; Clay Club Ceramics; and Imagine Understanding Your Medicare Insurance Options. To view the dates, times, class descriptions/fees, and or to register for these classes go to or call (775)445-4423 FIREARMS WANTED! ESTATE COLLECTIONS or single items: Winchester, Colts, Smith and Wesson, Luger’s and others. Appraisals upon request, Licensed Gary (775)267-2045 or (775)671-0563 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Shoveling Snow

Dear Diary: August 12th – Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic, can hardly wait to see snow covering them. October 14th – Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are all turned colors with shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They were so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here. November 11th – Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. December 2nd – It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white snow. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, I love Montana. December 12th – More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here in Montana. December 19th – More snow last night. I couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Dumb snowplow. December 22nd – More STUPID snow last night. I’ve

Come Join Us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, or (775)241-2530 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416


Visit us at got blisters on my hands from shoveling and I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. The JERK! December 25th – Merry Christmas. More STUPID snow! If I ever get my hands on that STUPID JERK who drives the snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the driver. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the darn ice. December 27th – More snow fell last night. I’ve been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snowplow goes through. Can’t go anywhere; car’s stuck in a mountain of snow. The weatherman says to expect another 10″ of snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10″ is? December 28th – The darned weatherman was wrong again! We got 34″ of snow this time. At this rate it won’t melt before the summer. The snowplow got stuck in the road and that STUPID JERK had the nerve to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the snow he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his STUPID head! January 4th – Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get some food and on the way back a darned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. It did about $3,000 dollars worth of damage to the car. Those beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters would have gotten them all last November. May 3rd – Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from the STUPID salt they put all over the roads?! May 10th – Moved to Arizona. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that god forsaken state of Montana. 1957 DODGE POWER WAGON STEP SIDE DUALLY, 4x4 $5,000 OBO; 1974 28’ Titan Motorhome $1,500 OBO; Miller generator AC welder $1,500 OBO (775)790-4953 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! or Lisa (775)450-3175 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Snow Removal, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)4303585 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Proud of Himself!

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home now, ‘Mother of six?’” His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of four.” DOG GROOMER TAKING ON NEW CLIENTS, set up right now to take certain types of dogs, call to see if yours is one, Denise (775)720-1184 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. (775)782-4520

Why Did You Join?

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. The first soldier asked the second, “Why did you join the Army?” The second soldier replied, “I didn’t have a wife and I loved war -- so I joined. Why did you join the Army?” To which the first soldier answered, “I had a wife and I loved peace. So, I joined.” G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123 NEEDED, A PERSON OR COUPLE WITH “share cropping” experience (defined on Internet if necessary) Contact or message me at (775)745-0612 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000


ACME HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING Specializing in mobile homes; Emergency repairs, Sales, Service, Replacements, all makes and models, Free estimates on replacement furnaces and air conditioners, NV LIC#014612 (775)883-3220, Emergency (775)6913185

Berean Bible Church Christ Alone!

Sunday Worship Service 9:30am; Children’s Sunday School provided. Women’s Bible Study – 2nd and 4th Friday 8am; Men Bible Study – Fridays 8am; CoEd Bible Study – Tuesdays 6pm. Call for details (775)782-3931 1516 Hwy. 395, Gardnerville (in the HAAS Center) GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators; On Site Pick-Up And Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton - or visit us at (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 QUEEN MATTRESS COVER, EXTRA THICK, used 1 week; 15”, 16” or 17” snow cables, unopened $20; cell phone in package with 60 minutes $20; computer chair in box $20, Dennis/Carson (760)261-1234 HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, or (775)246-3004

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Belly Buttons Explained

Q: How do babies get their belly buttons? A: When God finishes making little babies, He line’s them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, “You’re done, You’re done, You’re done.” COMPUTER PROBLEMS? ON SITE REPAIR and training, PC/network configuration, virus/spyware removal, serving Dayton and Carson, justin.nelson@ Justin (775)450-3735 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827


After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”


HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)2672490 FIREPLACE – DUAL FUEL, NG OR LP, VENT free, beautiful Cherry finish with mantle, 46” wide by 14.75” deep, used only one season $800 Yerington (775)4634911

Hunting Season

The Wednesday night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. During the service, our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, I don’t get it. Last week many of you said you wouldn’t be at church Sunday because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer. One hunter said, “Well, preacher, it worked. They’re all safe.” PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

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Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online (775)392-2000 COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439 1986 CLASS C PRELUDE MOTORHOME, sleeps 6, good tires $2,500; Bicycles, 2 regular, need tires and tu bes; assorted safes, Bob/Dayton (775)508-8579 CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422

Happy January Birthdays!

May this birthday be filled with lots of happy hours and also your life with many happy birthdays, that are yet to come... Have a wonderful birthday! BOOKKEEPING, PAYROLL, INCOME TAX PREPARATION, we do it all! 22+ years experience; Professional, reliable quality work personalized for your small business or personal situation. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping (775)246-3363


“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”


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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Look For The Good By Joanna Fuchs

In the New Year, let’s resolve to get less stressed, upset, anxious about things over which we have no control. Let’s have a narrower focus on our lives, loving and helping our family and friends, making our community a better place to live, to create peace and contentment. In the New Year, let’s resolve to pay less attention to depressing stories on TV, online, in magazines and newspapers, and to stop focusing on what we want that we haven’t got, instead of appreciating the many blessings we do have. In the New Year, let’s look for the good. We may have to search through a mass of negative media, but the good is there, all around us. Our wish for you is a New Year filled with good, engulfed in serenity and happiness! ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.” Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on halfbaked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes. HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)3155179


BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297 TWO PAIR OF MEN’S SPURS IN GREAT condition, best offer; Vitamix Series 5000 blender with brochures, good condition $75 (775)315-4215 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@ or (775)782-5812 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers. PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, or (775)7815531 or (775)315-5179 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away! No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491

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January 2018 Scoop Online Edition  
January 2018 Scoop Online Edition  

Sierra Scoop arrives in the home on or before the 1st of each month. We are the best read "Shoppers Guide in the Sierra" consisting of great...