April 2024 Scoop Online Edition

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

COACH-STYLE DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, 12gauge 18” barrel, made by Stoeger, new $525; PSA AR15, 556/223, 16” BBL, new 30rd mag $530; CZ, P10m, 9mm 2 mags new $325; Ruger, 10-22, 22LR, Semi-auto, 10rd, new $330; Rossi, R92, 22LR, Pump-slide, 14rd tube-fed mag new $275 (775)720-6076

COLLECTOR PAYING CASH FOR OLD bottles, Cans, Casino Chips, Coins, Postcards, Matchbooks and Other Items, Call (775)782-3904

ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766

COWBOY PARALEGAL - RESEARCH, INVESTIGATION, Law, Civil Procedure. I also do knife sharpening, contact Michael McConnell cowboygrandpa10@gmail.com or (406)749-0901

ARE WHITE, WALK-IN CAMPERSHELL, FITS 6’4” 2010-2023 Dodge Crewcab truck only, has all upgrades to include roof rack mounts, great shape, asking $2,200, Call (775)781-4963

D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

PORTABLE OXYGEN CONCENTRATOR, Caire freestyle, 2 years old, only used for appointments, extra battery, 12v car charger, carry case, $1,900 OBO (775)450-2983

PINENUT FARMING HAS HAY FOR SALE! ALFALFA/ grass mix $18/bale, Orchard grass at $23/bale. Steam baled, clean hay! Call for prices, www.pinenutfarming.com, Call or Text Woodirae (775)901-3213

KITCHEN HELPER WANTED! NEED SOMEONE local to come into my kitchen in Minden to make hourly organic juices, meals and special preparations for the Gerson therapy. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays, 8am-4:30pm, Paying $15 hour (775)309-8472

BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

Handsome and Irresistible!

A man and his wife were returning from a party one evening. As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?”

Totally flattered, he replied, “No, dear they haven’t.”

At that point she yelled, “Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?”

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

A boy named Keaton

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping

You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall and on the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check his watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.

HELP WANTED! TAHOE CARSON MARINE IN Moundhouse is looking for a boat mechanic starting April 2024 to expand the business. Must have proven experience of at least 10 plus years in boat repair and service. Winterizing and shrink wrapping experience a plus! Contact us if you are interested. ctmarine1994@gmail.com or (775)887-1771

1941 FORD PROJECT TRUCK. I HAVE 90% ALL new parts including OEM interior. Completely stock 41 Ford with original Flat head and 4 speed transmission, parts list available, call for more details, Jim (775)901-2255

NEW SNOW CHAINS NEVER BEEN USED. FITS 245/70/19.5 dual wheels. Cam lock. Made in USA alloy steel square link pair $650 (209)331-3394

March 20th - First Day of Spring! Hurray!

He’s probably not the dream that most parents have for their children. Thirteen years old, and like every other teenager...the world revolves around him. Sometimes you have to listen closely to understand what he’s saying, but don’t let that fool you...he knows what he’s trying to say. Keaton has Down syndrome, but I’m quite sure he doesn’t know that. He just LIVES LIFE kind of the way God intended. He doesn’t know hatred, unforgiveness or prejudice. He simply wants a hug from everyone. Often out of the clear blue you’ll get “Daddy, I love you”...and he better get an I love you in return or he’ll be fishing for that again.

I’m learning a lot of things through Keaton that simply make me a better person. If the world could grasp one thing about persons with disabilities it would be that we are more alike than different. Our outward perception has no idea of the normal person that dwells within them. Love, acceptance and simple inclusion with whatever we’re all doing enriches their life...just the same as it enriches ours.

One of the greatest things about Keaton is his devotion to God. He can’t wait to go to church. When he gets there count him in for worship, expect him to be at the altar to be prayed for and don’t be surprised when he greets you with a hand shake or a hug. Sometimes I wonder if he’s just an angel on loan to us... stuck in a fleshly body trying to reach out to his Heavenly Father? (by D. Wilburn)

TRACTOR WORK: CLEANING YARDS, drive way level, sagebrush removal, RV pad, grading projects, etc., Call Florencia (775)741-7640

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)4302352

Icing ...

A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for the holidays. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes.

After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table. “The cupcakes look delicious, Tim.” his uncle said. He took a bite and said, “Timmy these are so good.”

As he finished the cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. “The cupcakes look beautiful, Tim,” his uncle said. “How did you get the icing so neat?”

His nephew replied, “It was easy. I just licked them.” The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. “You licked all of these?” Timmy replied, “Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help.”

WILL PAY CASH FOR CADILLAC PICK UP TRUCK, MUST be in good condition (775)790-6367

USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539

Big John

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, “If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He’s the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!”

A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, “Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!” When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he’s knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he’s picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks. He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, “I want a beer NOW!!” He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp. As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave. “Do you want another beer?” the bartender calls out. “Dang it, I don’t have time!!” the big man yells. “I gotta get out of town!!! Didn’t ya hear Big John is a-comin??”

CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051

The Douglas County Kids’ Fishing Derby Returning

This year’s derby will be held June 1st and 2nd, 2024 at Lampe Park in Gardnerville; hosting all children ages 3-12. Tickets to attend this volunteer run event are free; however, you must preregister to receive a free session ticket. Derby hats, t-shirts and other resale items will be available for purchase. Raffle tickets are available for $1 each or 6 for $5.

Registration forms, for mail-in only, are available at the Douglas County Parks and Recreation Department; located on Waterloo Lane in Gardnerville. Registration and volunteer signups begin on April 1st and will continue every Saturday through the month of May from 10am-1pm at AJ’s Stoves in Gardnerville (1267 Highway 395, Suite A).

Volunteers are needed to help set up, tear down, register, river help, fish cleaning and more. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer, please pick up a volunteer form at the Parks/Recreation Department and mail it in or stop by AJ’s Stoves starting April 1st.

For further information, please contact (KFDVolunteers@aol. com) or visit our website: DCNVKidsFishingDerby.org

SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/ wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)790-5927

March 29th - Good Friday

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Faith Healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders.

“I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.”

“I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to have a baby in three months.”

“You must tell me what you did.”

“I went to a faith healer.”

“But I’ve tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn’t help a bit.”

The other woman smiled and whispered, “Try going alone, next time, dearie.”

NATURAL GAS FIREPLACE - HEAT & GLO Slimline Series, 36” wide, Model #HHJTSL-7X-IFT-S, fully loaded with remote, still in packaging, paid $4,200, asking $2,100 (775)790-7582

Learn how to:

Have fun without alcohol. Talk without cell phones. Love without conditions. Dream without drugs. Smile without selfies.

COLLECTOR/ANTIQUES: 1988-2020 HOLIDAY Barbie Collection (34 dolls) $3,500; Fisher Price Toys ( radios, pull dogs) $400; Guardian Serviceware (32 pcs) $650; Sheffield Dinnerware “Elegance” (misc pcs) $300; Lenox Brookdale China (Service for 12 and serving - 119 pcs) $2,000; Antique child’s rocker/high chair $150; “Grow Up Girls” porcelain figures (age 1 - 18 and Graduation) $40; Beveled Glass, Two panels (22”w x 48”h) $100 (702)280-5795

Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $22.85/hour or up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week. Contracted positions for permanent routes include; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave & holidays. NV PERS retirement. Please apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

MOUNTAIN POOL & SPA - WE CLEAN pools and spas, monthly and bi-monthly service (530)318-1698

Douglas County Republican Women...

will meet in Minden at Valley Christian Fellowship on April 3, 2024. We hope you will be able to join us to enjoy a delicious luncheon and listen to the candidates for the U.S. Senate speak. While we have not yet confirmed all the candidates, we hope you can partner with us to learn more about the candidate’s platforms so you can vote with confidence this very important election year. Please RSVP no later than March 29th to Elinor Lacy at elinoralacy3@comcast.net, or call 415-985-5432 for more information. Together we win!

Our May meeting will also be in Minden at Valley Christian Fellowship on May 1, 2024. We hope you will be able to join us to enjoy a delicious luncheon and listen to the Douglas County Commissioners running for office give us their platforms. We hope you will connect with us to learn more about how you can support the Republican party and get the vote out this very important election year. Please RSVP no later than April 26th to Elinor Lacy at elinoralacy3@comcast.net, or call 415-985-5432 for more information.

Heaven

One day, a father and son were walking along the beach when they came across a dead seagull lying on its back. Curiously, the son asked, “Daddy, what’s wrong with the bird?”

“There comes a time in your life when you die,” said the father. “Where do you go when you die?” said the son. “Up to heaven,” said the father. “What happens in heaven?” said the son. “God invites you into his kingdom,” said the father. “Then, why did God throw this one back?” said the son.

GREEN MASTER LANDSCAPE & MAINTENANCE, residential & commercial, lawn care, sprinkler repairs, cleanups, dethatching, aeration, pruning, tree trimming, 7am6pm, NV License 20222534179 (775)297-5742

C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, “WINDOW CLEANING at its finest”, Call Casey (775)350-8021

“Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge.”

Father Murphy

Father Murphy walks into a bar and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

The man said, “I do, Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”

Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply. “Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Brien and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?” O’Brien said, “No, I don’t Father.” The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?” O’Brien said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”

FOR SALE - PIANO, DIGITAL HP900, GREAT condition $600 OBO; Men’s pants, new, never worn Dockers, 34x30 $5 each, 4 for $18; Men’s and women’s shirts, short and long sleeve, medium and large, Call Louie and Katy (775)2652063

WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224

COMPUTER PROBLEMS? DO YOU NEED help connecting your gadgets? On-site computer repair and network configurations, Honest and Affordable, justin.nelson@goowy. com (775)450-3735

DECKS! RESURFACE, REPAIR, REPLACED AND trash removal, Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? INTERIOR remodels, kitchens, bathrooms and more, Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

Spring St. Gall Rummage Sale..... is scheduled for Friday, April 26th - 27th, 7am - 3pm. You will not want to miss it! Donation drop-offs currently being accepted: Mondays - 11am to 4pm, Tue/Wed/Thurs - 9am to 1pm, Donations END April 23rd. 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119

$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Green Our Planet

America’s Largest School Garden Program

Green Our Planet trains teachers to use school gardens and hydroponic laboratories to teach students STEM, conservation, nutrition and entrepreneurship in a hands-on engaging way. Learning in gardens ignites students’ curiosity, creates connections to the natural world and empowers the next generation of scientists, conservationists, farmers, chefs, engineers and entrepreneurs.

Green Our Planet was founded by filmmakers and entrepreneurs Ciara Byrne and Kim McQuarrie. They believe that every student deserves the opportunity to learn science outside in a school garden and/or in a hydroponics laboratory, to have the opportunity to learn how to eat and live a healthy life and to be able to connect with the planet and nature in a meaningful way. Alongside their team they are on a mission to increase joy and equity in communities across America and around the world by empowering people to grow food and connecting them to the magic and majesty of the Universe. For more information visit www.greenourplanet.org

SKY CLEANING SERVICE - FULL BASIC housecleaning - Move In Move Out - Offices - New Homes - Weekly/ Bi-Weekly/Monthly - Licensed/Bonded - Satisfaction Guaranteed - Free Estimates, Silvia 775)461-9028

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”

Preparing for exam

A daughter who was concerned that her elderly mother hadn’t had an exam in several years persuaded her mother to let her make an appointment for an exam with her doctor. She invited her to spend the night and offered to drive her to the appointment with lunch afterward.

On the day of the exam, they went together to the doctor’s office and while the daughter waited in the lobby the mother nervously undressed, climbed up on the table, and, with the nurse’s assistance, slid her heels into the stirrups.

The doctor came in, greeted her pleasantly, then settled onto his stool. “My aren’t we FANCY today!” he exclaimed as he lifted the sheet draped over the old lady’s upraised knees.

Shocked, she had no idea what the doctor meant. When the exam was over, she hurriedly got dressed and rushed out to meet her daughter in the waiting room. In a panic, she repeated what the doctor said. “What in the world do you think he meant by that?” the mother asked, bewildered.

“I have no idea, Mother. What did you do to prepare for the exam?”

“Well, I showered, and I used some of that feminine deodorant spray in your bathroom,” the mother replied.

There was a slight pause as she looked her mother in the eye. “I don’t HAVE any feminine deodorant spray, Mother.”

“Yes you do-that tall pink-and-gold can.” “Mother! That’s not deodorant. That’s gold glitter hairspray!”

MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, EADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671

ALL GARAGE DOORS! $250 OFF - GARAGE door service with 50 years experience, offering Doors by CHI, Liftmaster garage door openers, spring or rollers replacement, senior, military and cash discounts. Jim Dyer Overhead Door (775)883-7740, para espanol (775)445-9448

HAVE YOU BEEN CUT OFF FROM A GRANDPARENT - grandchild relationship? Alienated grandparents anonymous support group now forming! For more information call (775)781-2588

Total Solar Eclipse April 8th

When a total solar eclipse creates a spectacle in the skies over Mexico and North America on April 8, it will mark the first time such an event has occurred in this part of the world for nearly seven years — and the last time one will until 2044.

Total solar eclipses happen when the moon passes between Earth and the sun, completely blocking the sun’s face.

March 31st - Happy Easter!

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Quilt Show 2024

It’s A Wild Wild World Of Color

The Carson Valley Quilt Guild is excited to announce their 2024 Show - When: June 1st and 2nd, from 10am to 4pmWhere: Douglas County Community Center, Gardnerville.

Over 200 quilts displayed, numerous vendors, heritage exhibit. Admission $10 - Door prizes, raffle baskets, silent auction and more. More details at: www.cvqg.com

2004 MAZDA TRIBUTE ES, 4WD, TOW PACKAGE, always maintained and serviced, clean, reliable, 125,000 miles, Asking $4,000 Call/text (775)720-2209

A few thoughts on aging

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along. Getting a little action means I don’t need fiber today. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

“I tried to be normal once. Worst 2 minutes of my life.”

Potatoes

When I was a boy growing up we had a potato garden half the size of a football field. I remember planting it was a family affair. First Dad would use a push tiller to break up the soil. Then Mom would go down the rows dropping seed potatoes into the freshly turned earth. Next would be me dropping a handful of fertilizer in between each of the potatoes. Lastly my brothers would hoe dirt back over the potatoes to let them grow all Summer. When harvest time came I would be astounded at how much the potatoes had grown. They would fill sack after sack and would feed us all the year through.

Mom and Nana had to be creative too with so many potatoes to cook. Mom would make mashed potatoes one day and then use the leftovers to make potato cakes the next. Nana would slow cook them on Sundays in her special red sauce to serve with spaghetti and meatballs. She would also bake them in the oven with chicken, deliciously seasoned with rosemary and garlic.

My daughter tried to recreate Nana’s oven chicken and potatoes just this last Sunday. When it was cooking the smells were heavenly and when I tasted it I was filled with loving memories from my childhood. The happiest part of it all, though, wasn’t those old memories but creating a brand new one with my daughter and sons. What a joyous and loving dinner it was.

They say that potatoes are one of nature’s most perfect foods. They have so many vitamins and nutrients in them that give us energy and vitality. The ancient Incas even built an entire civilization along the cold, desolate Andes mountain range just because they knew how to plant, harvest and store potatoes. I thank God for these little spuds. They nourish our bodies just as Love nourishes our souls. They keep us healthy and strong so we can share that Love with others. And they help us to make delicious dinners and loving memories. (J. Mazzella)

2019 CRAFTSMAN R110 10.5-HP MANUAL GEAR 30-in 6-speed riding lawn mower w/mulching kit $800; 20 ft. Gorilla ladder $50, Call Howard (775)267-3722

LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585

Two lines in heaven

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says “I want the men to make two lines -- one line for the men that dominated their women on earth, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.”

The next time God looked, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there was only one man.

God got mad and said “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replied “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

SENIOR LADY NEEDS PART TIME HELPER, 2 DAYS A week, 3-4 hours per day for shopping, doctor appts. etc. I am flexible! (775)782-9550

AEROBIC WORKOUT FROM THE COMFORT of your desk, couch, or chair, Cubi Peddler brand, make offer (408)270-4028

Up to my neck

A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat... Says He: “I’m sorry honey but I’m up to my neck in work today” Says She: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.” Says He: “OK darling, but since I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news, OK?” Says She: “Well, the air bag works...”

STUCCO AND DRYWALL, PAINT SERVICES, Interior, Exterior wall repairs, cracks, peels, dents, tape texturing, wall paper, popcorn ceiling, removal and refinish, “paint”, 25 years experience, Free Estimates, Licensed and Bonded, Call Fred (775)507-6315

43 INCH LG SMART TV, LITTLE USE $75; CUISINART air fryer, little use $50 (775)790-2251

PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997

KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052

Carson Valley’s 1st Car Show of 2024!! 11th Annual Car Show Trinity Lutheran Church. 1480 Douglas Ave. Gardnerville, May 4th, 2024 9am. For registration form / questions, contact John Hamer at Hamer1086@gmail.com or (775)721-1440

March 31st - Cesar Chavez Day

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The perfect relationship

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it’s not quite as good as his mother’s then adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores then adopt a dog!

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually then adopt a dog...

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness, then adopt a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... Marry a man, didn’t you?

“It takes nothing to join the crowd, it takes everything to stand alone.”

G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

There was a time when our children stood at attention, and with pride, put their hand on their heart, and in one UNITED voice, recited the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE. There was a time when STRENGTH and HONOR meant something.There was a time when standing for our FLAG meant something. There was a time when our history (heritage) was taught with PRIDE and RESPECT. There was a time when respect was given to those who serve(d), bled, and died to protect and defend our FREEDOM. There was a time when we were GRATEFUL. There was a time when our ACCOMPLISHMENTS meant something. There was a time when these UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, was UNITED.

There was a time when these UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, was UNITED UNDER THE AMERICAN FLAG. A FLAG THAT WAS CARRIED IN BATTLE BY BRAVE PATRIOTS AS A SYMBOL OF FREEDOM & JUSTICE FOR ALL NO MATTER RACE, RELIGION, OR BACKGROUND. A BEACON OF HOPE WHEN FLOWN.A MARK OF RESPECT TO THEIR MEMORY TO THOSE WHO WILLFULLY SACRIFICED THEIR LIVES TO DEFEND.

There was a time when, WE, THE PEOPLE, decided our future. There was a time when, WE, THE PEOPLE, had a voice. There was a time when, WE, THE PEOPLE, were UNITED and STRONG. There was a time when the media was free from political bias [and corruption]. There was a time when our elected leaders stood their ground, dug in, and defended those they represented.

How many Men and Women in uniform are currently serving on the frontlines abroad only to look back in horror to see the homeland on fire?

What does the word ‘Patriot’ mean to you? LAND OF THE FREE.HOME OF THE BRAVE. Now is not the time to be complacent. Will you answer the call? (author unknown)

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.” – President Ronald Reagan

CASH

PAID FOR VINTAGE

COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352

PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441

April 1st - April Fool’s Day

ZENI’S CLEANING SERVICES! COMMERCIAL and Residential, licensed, affordable and friendly, family owned, 20 years experience, free estimates, Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, zeniscleaning2022@gmail. com or (775)901-6689

VFW Breakfast for 2024

January to October - 8:00am to 9:30am. Topaz VFW Post 3630 is again hosting a monthly breakfast at the TRE Community Center 3939 Carter Way on the 4th Saturday of each month. The breakfast is to rally support for TRE Veterans by bringing together families and friends for a fun event.

The VFW Post 3630 has a regular meeting at 4:00pm on the 3rd Wednesday every month. New members are always welcome.

CHIPPER SHREDDER 6.6HP (NEW), 3 HOUR usage, recalled by DR power equipment, for more information, call Kent (775)463-3567

HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

“The Moving Wall” comes to Eastside Memorial Park in Minden

The Moving Wall, a half-size replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall in Washington D.C., will visit Douglas County for the second time since 2018. The wall, which has been in circulation around the country since 1984, will land in Minden Memorial Day weekend.

Eastside Memorial Park is proud to sponsor the wall’s visit to our community, May 23, 2024 through May 28, 2024, open 24 hoours, 1600 Buckeye Road. By bringing this monument to Minden, Eastside Memorial Park seeks to honor veterans and facilitate a healing experience for the friends and families of those who died or are missing in Vietnam. The Moving Wall’s visit will provide a remembrance site for community members who have not been able to visit the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, DC. Its local presence will also create the opportunity to educate younger generations about the war and its impact on our nation. To visit the event page, go to www.eastsidememorialpark.com.

Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Prison verses Moms

In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even. At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free. At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years. In prison, all your medical care is free. At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up. At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day. At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet. At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from

having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.

In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes. At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go. At home, you take everybody else where they need to go. In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing. At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t. At home....stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

CHÉ WHITE BOOKKEEPING & PAYROLL Services, Specializing in Small Business, Corporation, Not-for-Profit, and Personal Finance. 25+ years experience. Located in Carson Valley, CheWhiteBooks@gmail.com or (844)343-0343

LAWN CARE SERVICE! MOWING, TRIMMING, Pruning, sprinkler repair and general yard cleanup, over 10 years experience, Andres (775)400-4742

WE’RE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR CLUTTER problems. Put a roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove, ask us about our available loading assistance (775)297-2320

JR’S PAINTING, INSIDE AND OUT, 40 YEARS experience, senior discounts, locally owned and operated, serving Minden, Gardnerville, Genoa, Carson and Tahoe (775)7907425

LUSTRE WARE LARGE CREAMER AND SUGAR bowl with lid $25; Crystal decanter $25 (775)392-0044

WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE

Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930

SUGAR PLUM HOUSEKEEPING - LICENSED with References, $50/hour (775)220-4252

COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439

SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Devil in the Church

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, Don’t you know who I am?

FARM ITEMS: USED CASE TRACTOR, THREE fuel tanks, Ford F-600 water truck, Portable welder, Utility trailer, heavy duty flat bed, Deere skip loader, George/TRE (775)790-2786

POLARIS RMK144 SNOWMOBILE, 800CC, 1100 ORIGINAL miles, in storage $3,000 (775)790-6367

Set it free

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in a room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

HANDYMAN - SMALL CONCRETE WORK, REPAIRS and some overlays, Call Chuck (775)552-5151

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955

The man replied, Yep, sure do. Satan asked, Aren’t you going to run? Nope, sure ain’t, said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, Why aren’t you afraid of me? The man calmly replied, been married to your sister for over 48 years.

PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700

HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268

FOR SALE BEAUTIFUL 5’X7’ BUFFALO HIDE, good condition, asking $86 (775)265-1670

GENTLY USED RUGER M77 7MM MAG WITH Tasco 3X9 scope $500; Harrington & Richardson Greenwing Special 20 gauge single shot top break, never fired $350

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(775)233-3580

The Bathing Suit Pilgrimage

It’s that time of year!

I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit.

When I was a child in the 1950’s, the bathing costume for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure - boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a darn good job.

Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure chipped from marble. The mature woman has a choice - she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney’s Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing suits was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that a shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged

the shoulder strap into place I gasped in horror ... my bosom had disappeared. Eventually I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took awhile to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full- view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of play-dough wearing undersize cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent salesgirl popped her head through the curtains, “Oh, THERE you are!” she said, admiring the suit. I replied that I wasn’t so sure and asked what else she had to show me.

I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversize napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with a ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan’s Jane on a bad day. I tried a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink one with such a high-cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear it.

Finally I found a suit that fit ... a two-piece affair with shortsstyle bottoms and a halter top. It was cheap, comfortable and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. When I got home, I read the label which said “Material may become transparent in water,” but I’m determined to wear it anyway. I just have to learn to breaststroke

AERATING & DETHATCHING $300 MOST Yards, Sprinkler Repair, Tree & Juniper Removal, Excavating, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955

The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373

15’ COLEMAN “OUTFITTER” CANOE WITH PADDLES. Like new, stored in garage. $400. Call (775)530-7459

ALMOST 5 YEAR OLD BRITTANY MALE STANDING at Stud (775)233-3580

UNDER DESK LATERAL MOTION EXERCISER at home fitness for knees, hips and lower back, make offer (408)2704028

SLOOWW COMPUTER? VIRUSES? MALWARE? Need an upgrade? Will do a complete computer maintenance: Remove Junk, Viruses, Malware. Test Hard Drive, Memory,

Do updates and Print-Out. 25 Yrs+ Pro & Corp Experience $40 flat fee. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tom (775)720-2814

HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932

PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

Kitchen Refinishing Services

BY ‘CABINET GUARD’ PRODUCTS

(pat. pending)

DON’T RE-FACE OR REPLACE YOUR CABINETS UNTIL YOU EVALUATE OUR REFURBISHING / SERVICES! (WE ARE 80% LESS COSTLY)

We utilize exclusive Products & Processes by ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) w/ 40 + years of development by founder & master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your Cabinets”.

We blend over, ‘Refurbishing’ your original cabinet finish, so there is no stripping or sanding mess! We are completely dustless! Starting w/ a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & reluster the wood’s grain for its contribution and light color (tint) to block yellowing from the original finish, w/ 100% UV protection all with exclusive ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) products.

Final topcoat/s, very durable, strong enough for hardwood flooring, superior ware, extreme moisture resistance, 100 % UVProtected. * Easier to clean & maintain * Spray-less & EPA –Non -Toxic * No need to empty out Cabinets * You do not lose daily function of your kitchen * Good for environment, no tree cutting * Door Sampling * Written local Client Testimonials & References * Up to 20% in discounts, inquire.

Workdays: 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Returning your kitchen back to you until 9:00 a.m. the next morning! I Dana, perform all work on job site.

Questions: www.danadesignnv@hotmail.com or call: Dana, Cabinets Etc. @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821 or visit our new website cabinetguard.net NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD.

4’ SAFWAY SCAFFOLDING FOR SALE. EXCELLENT condition, used one job. 40- 6’4”×4’ frames, 80 coupling pins w/snap button, 60 cross braces 10’x4’, 75 Guard R 10’, 6 Guard R 4’, 10 Guard R post F w/GL corner $5,000 (209)331-3394

Custodian Job Opening

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodians; various positions & sites (40 hours per week) Starting Salary: $20.22/hour or up to 5 years of experience; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave, vacation & holidays. NV PERS retirement.

AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $90, tac-aim-

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firearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214

THE CHICKS HAVE ARRIVED AT BENSON FEED; we also carry wood stove pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Carson City (775)882-3999

2002 HYUNDAI ELANTRA, $1,000 OBO (775)781-9900

HANDYMAN PROS (NOT LICENSED) - RAPID RESPONSE, ALL Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Concrete, minor Plumbing and Electrical, Tile, Granite & more, Professionally Designed Blue Prints (775)400-6822

April 23rd - Passover

Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 4pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590

NEW WOMEN’S TOUR EDGE GOLF CLUBS WITH bag $200; Inogen Oxygen 2 battery, backpack, year old $1,000; 1998 Nash 5th wheel, new bed, curtains, toilet, 1 slide out, asking $7,000 (775)560-6496

PIANO, GUITAR, COMPOSITION LESSONS. ALL LEV-

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big deal about a two-story house?’

The man answers, ‘Well Judge, one story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.’’

“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!”

Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $369 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813

Social Media addiction leads to withdrawal

When people use social media platforms in a compulsive or uncontrollable way, they may be experiencing the symptoms of addiction. According to some psychological research, between 5% and 10% of Americans can be classified as at risk for social media addiction.

Social media addiction, like other forms of compulsive behavior, arises because these apps spur the human brain to release dopamine. Dopamine is a brain chemical that is related to motivation and reward.

Using platforms like Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook has an effect on the user’s brain similar to the effects of certain recreational drugs. Some research out of Michigan State suggests that consistent exposure to snaps, shares, likes, and posts affects users’ brain chemistry in a manner similar to cocaine use.

When a user receives a social media notification, the brain releases dopamine. This causes the person to experience pleasure, reinforcing the behavior. Abstaining from social media reduces dopamine levels, which leads to withdrawal.

ELS and ages. Experienced teachers with music degrees. Jim and Janet, Sunridge/Carson City (415)678-0504

Two story house

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed some papers and then said, ‘please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.’

‘Because,’ the man said, ‘I live in a two-story house.’

The Judge replies, ‘what kind of a reason is that? What is the

When you are addicted to social media sites, you may experience adverse symptoms aside from withdrawal. Many people with this type of addiction suffer personal and psychological consequences, including: Neglecting personal relationships, Mental and cognitive preoccupation with platform use, Escapist thought patterns, Hiding the extent of social media use from others, Fear of missing out (FOMO), Symptoms of ADHD

If you believe that you have an addiction to social media, it is critical to seek help. Over-use of social media can lead to additional mental health issues and concerns, but a digital detox can address excessive patterns of social media usage.

Because social media is so addictive, even a week-long break from platforms such as Twitter and TikTok can result in serious withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms can be severe and lifealtering.

People going through social media withdrawal may experience the following: Strong urges to use social media, Increased boredom, Significant shifts in mood

In a recent study, these withdrawal symptoms were measurable in people who used social media platforms regularly. Even after study participants resumed their normal use, some withdrawal symptoms remained.

Many participants felt pressure from peers to resume their use of certain social media platforms, which is likely because social media involves digital interactions with others.

Nearly 60% of participants in the study experienced a relapse over the seven-day abstinence period. This shows how severe social media addiction and withdrawal can be. (Social Media Victims Law Center (SMVLC)

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING

Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

FOR RENT - RV SPACES AVAILABLE AT IGGY and Squiggys Junction Bar, adult trailer park, no pets, large shady spaces $575 per month (775)901-1064

HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490

COCA-COLA MEMORABILIA FOR SALE. OLD bottles, crate, commemorative cans and bottles, clothing and a lot more. Sold as a collection not individual items. $350 OBO,

Contact Pat (775)781-2273

MANUELS LANDSCAPING SERVICES - FIRE Pits, Pavers, Fences, Rocks, Sprinklers, Artificial Turf, Retaining Walls, Water Features, Spring and Fall Clean Ups, Lawn Care Service - Aerating, Thatching, Mowing, all for a great price, you’ll be happy, NV#20222462146, Castaneda Landscaping LLC (775)291-7499

Why does your nose run in cold weather?

Having the sniffles in winter does not automatically mean you’re sick. It’s often a sign your nose is doing its job. The nose heats up and moisturizes air before it enters the lungs. Bones in the nose are covered with blood-filled membranes. These membranes sit behind the nasal cavities, and the blood flow keeps the space warm.

When you breathe cold air, the nose membranes secrete water and mucus. It’s like a mini steam bath with moisture dripping down the walls. The colder and dryer the air, the more water and mucus is produced, which leads to more sniffles and extra tissues. (health.harvard.edu)

ALL GARAGE DOORS! $250 OFF - GARAGE door service with 50 years experience, offering Doors by CHI, Liftmaster garage door openers, spring or rollers replacement, senior, military and cash discounts. Jim Dyer Overhead Door (775)883-7740, para espanol (775)445-9448

ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $599, all vents, returns, heater and AC cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $129, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Serving Gardnerville, Kelly (209)352-0084

THINKING OF CALLING CASH PAID FOR Old Costume Jewelry? This may be a good time to call. Often times, callers tell me they have seen my ad for a long time. I have advertised for over eighteen years in the Sierra Scoop. Looking forward to meeting you. message or text Joanne at (775)4302352

MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501

The Surprise

On a whim a man decided to get his wife a dozen roses and surprise her after work.

The minute he opened the door, his wife started screaming at him, “This is the worst day that I have EVER had! The kids have been terrible. They got in a food fight, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, I burned dinner and the dog

chewed up my best pair of shoes…”

She then looked at the roses he was holding, “…and now you’ve obviously done something wrong!”

ARE YOU A VACATIONER, FREQUENT TRAVELER or an absentee owner? Northern Nevada Home Watch is a licensed and bonded home watch service providing regular visual inspections of homes and properties that are unoccupied for both a short or long term. Contact us at (775)292-1272

PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interest-

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

HENRY GOLDEN BOY 357 MAGNUM, NEW IN BOX, NEVER fired, asking $1,100, Gardnerville (907)529-5777

CARSON TAHOE MARINE IS GETTING READY for our new season. We look forward to serving your Boating needs again this season. With Service/Repair, Spring Get Ready, Supplies, Storage. Our shop is located at 38 Signet Dr. Mound House, NV Follow us on Facebook or Google us for directions. (775)887-1771

Healing Prayer

Father God, we come to you because the people of this nation and everything in it belong to you. We are not here by accident. You are the one who set us in this nation at this particular time for the glory of your name. But Father, people in this country are turning against each other. We no longer live like brothers and sisters. Brother has turned against brother and child against parent. But your word says that if we humble ourselves and turn from our wicked ways you will heal our land. Lord, heal our hearts, heal our land. Remove bitterness and resentment from our hearts and help us to live as brothers and sisters. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462

ed in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827

Happy April/May Birthdays!

May you have all the love your heart can hold, all the happiness a day can bring, and all the blessings a life can unfold. Happy birthday!

May 12th - Happy Mother’s Day!

Carson Valley Women’s Golf

Are you looking for a vibrant, growing, fun-filled, challenging-you-to-be-your-best golf club where the ladies not only golf, but build lasting friendships? Then the Carson Valley Women’s Golf Club (CVWGC) is your place to golf this year. Their season starts Tuesday, April 2nd, with a four-person scramble, free continental breakfast, and no host lunch at their first general membership meeting after play. There is a meet-and-greet on March 26th at 11:00 a.m., a week before the season opener. It is a social time for new members to get to know club members before hitting the links. Members must have a GHIN to join the club and information on obtaining a GHIN can be found on the CVWGC website. Although we welcome golfers of all ability levels, some golfing experience is required for league play. For more information on the CVWGC including a membership application and season schedule, visit their website at www.cvwgc.com or contact Judy Brooke, President, at president@cvwgc.com.

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”