April 2021 Web Edition

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

1

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

2

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 215/55R17 TIRES WITH ALLOY RIMS MICHELIN, M-S, Like new for VW Beetle 2012 and up $500, Gardnerville (775)267-7915 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 FIVE TIE DOWN CHAINS AND BINDERS $350; large quantity of irrigation fittings $390; 12’X24’ mesh tarp $70; two man auger and 8” and 18” bits $1,300 (775)265-6798 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 WE ARE CONSTRUCTION BOOKKEEPING SPECIALISTS – Serving both general and specialty contractors with 30+ years of bookkeeping, payroll and tax experience. If you can’t keep up with your workload give us a call ProBalanced Bookkeeping & Tax Service (775)246-3363

WHIRLPOOL CABRIO TOP LOAD WASHER WTW8500DW5 2018 and Whirlpool Dryer GEW9250PW0 2005. Clean, good working order, manuals included, asking $500 for both (775)901-1266 COOKS, WAITRESSES, BARTENDERS WANTED for Carson City Joe’s and Virginia City Joe’s, call Joe (775)4000720 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)2916827 ANTIQUE WESTERN COLLECTIBLES FOR SALE BY private collector, Sterling silver mounted parade saddles (6) made by Edward Bohlin, Harry Rowell, Bryden Brothers, 1880’s H. Heiser model #44 cowboy saddle, White wooly chaps, Miles City Montana batwing chaps, “Wells Fargo” marked leather and chain horse hobbles (very rare). Sawtooth Saddle Company custom working saddles (3), All items excellent condition and original, other collectible saddles as well, contact Royce (775)232-2038 What’s another use for a shinbone? A: Finding furniture in a dark room.

3

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The “Garbage Truck Principle”

Partner & Best Friend

God summoned a beast from the field and he said, “I endow you with these instincts uncommon to other beasts: Faithfulness, Devotion, and understanding surpassing those of man himself.

Lest it impair your courage, you shall never foresee your death.

Lest it impair your loyalty, you shall be blind to the faults of man. Lest it impair your understanding, you are denied the power of words. Speak to your master only with your mind and through your honest eyes. Walk by his side, sleep in his doorway, forage for him, ward off his enemies, carry his burdens, share his afflictions, love him and comfort him. This shall be your destiny and your immortality.” So sayeth the Lord. And the dog heard and was content.

God turned to man and said, “Behold, this is your partner.

You shall worship him as he worships you. Your purpose is to care for him, through youth and age, until he can serve no more.

Understand that your final act of love will take courage. Spare your partner any pain. Know that he will never lie to you, he will always understand you and I have placed him here as a guardian angel for you, to watch over you and care for you. He is from heaven, therefore divine. Let his character speak to your heart and be the example for you to follow. He shall fulfill your inequities. He shall be everything humanity strives to be: Honest, Loyal, Kind in Heart, and Strong in Spirit. Therefore, you shall call him Partner and Best Friend.” So Sayeth the Lord. (Author Unknown) BRAND NEW QUANTUM EDGE 2.0 POWER wheel chair, many features $1,500 OBO (775)790-0885

4

The “Garbage Truck Principle” goes something like this… there are some people in today’s world that are like Garbage Trucks. They are filled with all kinds of “garbage”, anger, resentment, rage, hatred and other poisonous feelings. They fill themselves with all kinds of trash until they can’t take any more.

The result? They look for something or someone to dump their trash onto. These individuals “explode” by yelling, screaming, shouting, or displaying hurtful actions towards others.

There are a couple of ways to deal with the “Garbage Trucks” which will help us stay positive and prevent them from robbing us of the joy we have. First, don’t allow these negative people to dump the trash on you. When you meet a person that is filled with these poisonous emotions, avoid them. Don’t react to them by what you say or do…just ignore them and move on. Remember, they are looking for a place to dump their trash. Second, be mentally strong. Make up and prepare your mind in advance when you do come across a Garbage Truck, you will not allow them to steal your joy. You will not allow them to take control of your actions or emotions. You have better things to do with your life than to waste it on these people. Remember, you are not a garbage dump. You are special, one-of-a-kind person, that was put on this earth to be an encouragement and help towards others.

Lastly, don’t become a garbage truck! Don’t allow the negative experiences and hurtful things in life make you bitter, angry, and resentful. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones.

Instead of seeing what people can do for you…change your thinking…”what can I DO for others?” You will find your life will be more fulfilling and meaningful. Remember… Don’t Be A Garbage Truck!!

BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 PAIR OF “ADVANCED” rechargeable hearing aids with accessories $200; table saw $80; bench vise $40; wood vise $30 (775)762-2220 HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490

Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $15.88/hour, Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week, Apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

BATHROOM VANITY LIGHT FIXTURE, still in box, six light fixtures Brushed nickel 56” wide, 100 watt bulbs, Oval shades, new $559, will sell for $279, Tom (775)265-5545 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

I’m Not Happy

I’ve been around 44 years now, and I’ve been a round boy for most of those years as well. I always imagined thinner people were happier than me - but after losing 80 pounds, I can’t say that I’m any happier than I was as a fat-butt. I’m not complaining, mind you: I just imagined I’d feel differently. I imagined I’d know a different kind of happiness than I’d never known before.

Instead, I wound up learning what I consider to be the Secret of Happiness.

As an American, I was raised to believe I was entitled to 100% happiness, all day every day, until I died. But in our Declaration of Independence, we’re granted only the PURSUIT of happiness - not actual happiness. The founders of this country were smart not to promise the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free too much of a good thing.

The good news is that the pursuit of happiness is way better than being happy any day. The irony is that actual happiness blasts us across our faces, necks and chests all the time - but we’re so busy chasing the elusive notion of what happiness is to us at that moment, we tend to overlook the authentic bliss we create for ourselves and others in the process of simply trying to be happy. And by the time we realize these were, in fact, moments of happiness, it’s too late: those moments are now memories.

Happiness can’t be bottled. It can’t be smoked, swallowed, or shot. And there is no end game: you never cross the finish line and are suddenly happy. Even when all your wildest dreams come true, you still pursue happiness.

Thankfully, human beings are at their happiest when they feel

they’re at their most productive. So the only real happiness is the pursuit of happiness. When we chase happy, we feel our best.

Life is about the journey, not the destination - so while the idea of happiness sounds great, it’s actually the pursuit of happiness that provides the most contentment. And in that pursuit, we are ultimately at our happiest. (K. Smith) YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Gardnerville area, Kelly (209)352-0084 ROLL TOP DESK, BEAUTIFUL SHAPE, NEED TO sell, make offer, please call (775)790-5919

Bear Trap

A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said “Man, how did this happen?”

The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles. “Oh,” exclaims the doctor, “The pain must have been excruciating!”

“It was,” said the hunter. “The second worst pain in my life.”

“Second worst? What could have been worse than that?”

“Coming to the end of the chain” said the hunter.

April 1st - April Fool’s Day 5

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Children’s views about Grandparents

Reincarnation

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At the séance, she called out, “John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?” A ghostly voice answered her, “Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you.”

Martha tearfully asked, “Oh John, what is it like where you are?” “It’s beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time.” “What do you do all day?” asked Martha. “Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there’s nothing but whoopee until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then whoopee again until about five.

After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m.”

Martha was somewhat taken aback. “Is that what heaven really is like?” “Heaven? I’m not in heaven, Martha.” “Well, then, where are you?” “I’m a rabbit in Arizona.”

SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)2913095

6

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I’ll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.

My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?” A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond.

I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?’’ “You’re both real old,” he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!”

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised. “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said, warily.

“How do you make babies?” “It’s easy,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079 SILVA AND SONS MOBILE EQUIPMENT Repair! Autos and small to heavy equipment, 25+ years experience, jeremysilva1975@gmail.com or (707)761-0928

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

7

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

TV STAND / BOOKCASE, BLOND OAK, SMOKED glass doors, asking $200, Call Pat (775)537-7963

C. BARNHAM HANDYWOMAN - PAINTING, Sheetrock Repair, House Cleaning, Odd Jobs, crystalbarnham94@ gmail.com or (775)350-0613

PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912

R&J TRUCKING IS STILL DELIVERING MINE TAILING, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337

WANTED; LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Musical Instruments, Old Watches And Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930 HIGH DESERT FLOOR COVERING IS HIRING a flooring installer to work in and around Yerington/Smith Valley.

Must have own tools, for details call (775)463-1186

St. Gall Spring Rummage Sale

SPRING SALE Thursday and Friday, April 22nd and 23rd, 7am-3pm, and Saturday April 24th, 7am-Noon, Unbelievable amount of merchandise available at great prices. 1343 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville (775)782-2852 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

sierrascoop.com 8

Communicating at home

As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning against the crook of her husband’s arm, her cell phone beeped.

She looked at her phone. It was a text message from her husband. The message: ‘Please Move.’

INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)3920418 FREE MANURE TO GOOD HOME, City (775)888-2088

Katherine/ Carson

WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 16+ years experience, quality service, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care, Insured (775)230-2546 If it was only a 3-hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

“Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship”, the husband explained. “She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.” He continued, “She communicates well and I act like I’m listening.”

KICHLER POLISH BRASS CHANDALIER, LIGHTING book, 5 lights 23”x23.5” main dish, 62” ext. height $105, Gardnerville (805)722-7667 WANTED! INCOMPLETE SETS OF DOMINOES to make complete sets for shut-in seniors. Please send to: Little Barb, 735 South Center St, #14, Yerington, NV 89447. Thank you in advance for your generosity!

COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 CRAFTSMAN CONSTRUCTION LLC, SPECIALIZING in: New Construction, Additions, Remodels and Painting: Quality Workmanship with over 30 years experience, free estimates, Serving Carson Valley, NV Lic.60315, NVPainting Lic.82727 Find us on Facebook or (775)690-1749

Re-luster / Refurbish / Disinfect Kitchen Cabinets

Don’t paint-out or replace your existing cabinetry until you look at our services. The Great Basin has the highest UV and driest climate in the USA, damaging your cabinets’ finish. We have a whole new method and new concepts, with years of experience developed right here, for our climate!

Our less intrusive process is many times less costly than painting or replacing! You don’t empty your cabinets! In just a few days, in & out for basic refurbishing. Add a day or two for color options like tinting/glazing. We have exclusive and proprietary professional products to enhance, renew and refurbish over your original finish!

We normally work 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.; and clean-up & sanitize by 4:30 p.m., returning to your kitchen at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. Our deep cleaning professional and refurbishing products are hand rubbed, dustless, UV protective and EPA Nev. & Calif. Compliant! Yes, we have been and will continue to kill bacteria and disinfect, to our Guidelines!

For inspections, sampling, client testimonials, written ‘Covid19 Sanitizing Program’, e-mail: danakathy-pc@hotmail.com OR call: ‘Cabinets Etc.’, Dana @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821. NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.

“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!”

Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $279 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813

9

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Lost keys

After a meeting several days ago, I couldn’t find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal “TSA Pat Down.”

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, can you come and get me?”

He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!” Welcome to the golden years..

G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521

Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590

Government cuts costs

ANTELOPE VALLEY RARE 80 ACRE FEET UNDERGROUND water rights, sell all or part, ready for immediate transfer (831)336-3345

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.

“Steve,” his wife said, while reading the newspaper, “it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six over-aged destroyers.”

To which the husband replies, “Sorry to hear that, dear. I’m sure you’ll miss your mother being gone.”

TEN PAIRS MEN’S SHOES SIZE 9½ & 10D $10 pair; closet full of men’s clothing (shirts size 16x34, jackets size XL trousers 42x30) Ryobi Skil saw in case $45; tool box full of tools $40; roll -around lockable tool caddy full of tools $60 (775)762-2220 2016 HONDA XR650L, 2,000 MILES, SUPER CLEAN, have title $5,000 OBO (775)443-1556 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 34 YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas! Mike Romine (775)350-0351

10

RENT ME FOR SPRING CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)297-2320

Marrying an old school friend

After walking out of my 39 year unhappy married life with the father of my 2 beautiful daughters and son who gave me 4 lovely grandchildren I met up with an old school friend with no intention towards any relationship. But it was love at first site! I still wonder why I had to go through all of those unhappy years and actually meet the perfect man of my dreams so late in my life. It’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me at this stage in my life as it has lit up the spark in my life that had disappeared over the years! We married on my birthday last year and I can honestly say I never looked back one day!

RV TRAILER COVER, 3 LAYER, ADCO PART# 32841, for 20’x22’ trailer $160; Elite Eaz-Lift Hitch, weight distribution hitch, 14,000 lb. $200; Ezee-up RV Cover-Pulley $10, Mike or Shannon (530)205-6549

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

The Redneck Lawsuit

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, “Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer?” “Yes, Bubba, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.

“And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants Fer makin ‘em fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?” “Sure is, Bubba.”

“And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was gittin that hot coffee that she ordered?” “Yep.” “And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn’t read?” “That’s right,” said the lawyer.”

“But why are you asking?”

“Well, I was thinkin . ... what I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I’ve been with?”

Welcome to Niagara Falls

Guide: “I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world’s largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard...

Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so we can hear the Niagara Falls?”

YAKIMA TWO BIKE FOLDING CARRIER $295, Ted (775)721-7780 Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

NEED HELP? I’LL WALK YOUR DOG FOR you to help keep them happy and healthy. Experienced, kind, affordable, Gardnerville area, Marcia’s Dog Walking Service (775)901-1436 CARDIOGLIDE EXERCISER $125; DINETTE TABLE with concealed leaf and four chairs $125; Tony Lama boots size 10D $25; bolt and screw cabinet (full) $30; air compressor and stapler $60; jig saw $20 (775)762-2220 MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

11

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Cadbury Chocolate Thumbprints Recipe

Ingredients - 1/2 cup butter (softened to room temp) 1/2 cup sugar, 1 egg, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, 1 1/2 cups flour, 1/4 teaspoon baking powder, pinch salt Frosting: 1 Tablespoon butter, 3 Tablespoons cocoa, 1 cup powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 2 - 3 Tablespoons hot water, 24 mini Cadbury eggs Instructions: Heat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl beat together butter and sugar until creamy. Add in egg and vanilla and mix well. Add in flour, baking powder and salt until blended. Do not over mix. Roll dough into small balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 10 - 11 minutes. Remove from oven and quickly press thumb into the top of each cookie.

Remove from cookie sheet and cool completely.

Frosting: Melt butter in small mixing bowl in microwave.

Then add in cocoa, powdered sugar, vanilla and hot water. Mix until smooth and creamy. (If frosting is too runny add more powdered sugar, if it’s too thick add a little more hot water.) Spoon the chocolate frosting into each thumbprint and top with a mini Cadbury egg.

KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052 NEW CD/RADIO FOR 2005 TOYOTA COROLLA $100 OBO; 60” desk, 5 drawer, 1 file cabinet drawer $75 OBO, Yerington (775)294-5779

How are diamonds formed?

Diamonds were formed over 3 billion years ago deep within the Earth’s crust under conditions of intense heat and pressure that cause carbon atoms to crystallise forming diamonds.

Diamonds are found at a depth of approx. 150-200km below the surface of the Earth. Here, temperatures average 900 to 1,300 degrees Celsius and at a pressure of 45 to 60 kilobars (which is around 50,000 times that of atmospheric pressure at the Earth’s surface). Under these conditions, molten lamproite and kimberlite (commonly known as magma) are also formed within the Earth’s upper mantle and expand at a rapid rate. This expansion causes the magma to erupt, forcing it to the Earth’s surface and taking along with it diamond bearing rocks. Moving at an incredible speed, the magma takes the path with least resistance, forming a ‘pipe’ to the surface.

As it cools the magma hardens to form Kimberlite and settles in vertical structures known as kimberlite pipes. These kimberlite pipes are the most significant source of diamonds, yet it is estimated that only 1 in every 200 kimberlite pipes contain gemquality diamonds. The name ‘Kimberlite’ was derived from the South African town of Kimberley where the first diamonds were found in this type of rock.

CASH PAID FOR – KNIVES; TOBACCO Pipes; Old Lanterns (Camping, RR); Old Camp / Backpack Stoves; Old Decoys / Hunting Stuff, Jeff (775)720-2577 OAK ROUND PEDESTAL TABLE WITH ONE LEAF, 6’X4’ $175, Gardnerville (805)722-7667

12

BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297 HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119

How to help others

Humble means to put your own thoughts, decisions, and priorities after someone else’s. Being humble helped me a lot through tough times, I realized that I was simply one of the seven billion people in the world. My problems are pathetic when comparing them to others. There are people starving, homeless, or in poverty. There are cancers to cure, injuries to heal, hearts to mend, mouths to feed. But all I could think of was me. My issues. But stepping back and getting the big picture helped me to realize that there are bigger problems in this world other than mine and I need to stop being selfish and help those people in need. Being humble helped me to help not on myself, being humble helped me help others. (author unknown) SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Just a typewriter

He lived at Rose Haven Nursing Home (Roseburg, OR) for years. Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born on September 21, 1921, with severe cerebral palsy. Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech and mobility but also taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.

“When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one.

Since he couldn’t press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters ..... @ # $ % ^ & * ( )_. Across seven decades, Paul created hundreds of pictures.

He often gave the originals away. Sometimes, but not always, he kept or received a copy for his own records. As his mastery of the typewriter grew, he developed techniques to create shadings, colors, and textures that made his work resemble pencil or charcoal drawings.”

This great man passed away on June 25, 2009, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

HANDYMAN, EXPERIENCED IN MOST HOME Improvements or Repairs, Quality Workmanship, Insured, NV#20101037419 (775)781-5531 or (775)450-2061

Substitute Custodians Wanted

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Substitute Custodian, flexible hours and days, evening/swing shifts, Salary: $17.08/hour, Apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application.

POLARIS SNOWMOBILE 800RMK, HARD COVER, hitch and sled, asking $4,000 (775)781-7827

SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER- DOOR install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, molding and general carpentry repairs. Call Mark (775) 782-6198 or (775)790-5927

13

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

The Tooth Fairy

Santa Claus. Ever heard of him? The Easter Bunny. Has he hopped through your house once or twice? If you grew up in America or have young children of your own, chances are you’ve had a run in with one of these mythical figures. Maybe the strangest of them all? The Tooth Fairy! If you’ve ever really stopped to think about the concept of the American tradition of the Tooth Fairy, you might be thinking it’s a bit odd. So just how did this strange tradition get started? We’ve got the scoop on the real truth about the Tooth Fairy! Although the Tooth Fairy as we know is a fairly modern creation, it’s a myth that has evolved over centuries. Many different legends, myths, and traditions surround the loss of baby teeth through the years. While the legend of the Tooth Fairy varies so widely across different cultures, most cultures do have some type of tradition surrounding how a child’s lost baby teeth are disposed of. Some threw the teeth into a fire, others over the roof of a home, and others felt the teeth should be buried. Early European traditions suggested burying the teeth to prevent hardships for the child, while other cultures would wear their children’s teeth to enjoy better luck during battle. One of the more recent traditions that also came out of Europe was a tooth deity in the form of a mouse who entered the rooms of children to take away their baby teeth.

The Tooth Fairy we know today in America was inspired by the myth of the good fairy in combination with the legend of the tooth deity mouse. And so, we ended up with a fairy creature that left behind tooth fairy gifts in place of lost teeth. The first appearance of the modern Tooth Fairy was in a playlet written for children by Esther Watkins Arnold in 1927. While the leg-

14

end was somewhat obscure in the 1920s and 1930s, eventually it picked up in popularity as Disney fairy characters became household names.

So what does the American tradition of the Tooth Fairy look like today? When kids begin losing their baby teeth they put their lost tooth under their pillow in hopes that the Tooth Fairy will show up to exchange that tooth for a bit of money. Years ago, it may have been a small coin left under a pillow, but thanks to inflation, the Tooth Fairy is leaving dollars these days. $3.70 (2019) is the average gift from the Tooth Fairy according to a survey conducted by Delta Dental. (perfectteeth.com) JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience!

Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, cabinets and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, (775)781-5531 or (775)450-2061

Thigns...

In the men’s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: “Think!”

The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, “Thoap!”

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

WEEKLY LAWN CARE AND AERATION, 17+ years experience, quality service, Insured, serving Carson Valley, Carson Valley Lawn Care (775)230-2546

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932

RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices, Samantha (775)220-4252

PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441

FOR SALE: 2 ACRES+ CORNER LOT/LAND, POWER IN, Highland Dr. on Bolton Loop, Douglas County NV., 1 mile from Topaz Lake, Call for details (775)530-9317

Meet me for lunch

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher asked, ‘Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?’

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, ‘I guess you’d be eating alone.’

CUJO’S HOG HOUSE HAS RELOCATED! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, maintenance and accessories, (not on Google) 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051 CARETAKER POSITION WANTED, 65 YEAR OLD SINGLE male, no pets, doesn’t smoke or drink, leave a message and I will call you back (775)901-3566

Office Work

It’s been a couple of years since I actually worked in an office, so I thought I should do something to prepare to get back into the typing, filing and phone answering, and what not. So what I did was I had a friend of mine go with me down to the local swimming pool, and I had him tie me up in a burlap sack and sink me to the bottom of the pool. And then just as I was about to suffocate, he yanked me up and gave me a lunch break.

HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)7825812

15

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

THE CHICKS HAVE ARRIVED AT BENSON FEED; we also carry wood stove pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Carson City (775)882-3999

ACT 2 CONSIGNMENT

FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776

Are you a Lookie Lou? We may have something for you, it may not be new, but the fit will do. 607 S. Main Street, Yerington, NV. Call Pat Riley (408)804-4010 or Toni Harrison (775)430-9936

Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides.

These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520

SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

16

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

17

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” GET FAST INTERNET! UP TO 40 MBPS, WIRELESS! (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.ruralinternet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777

Discovering Hidden Graves at Al Tahoe Cemetery (Part 2)

by Karen Dustman

ALL SEASONS - STURDY HANDRAILS, INSIDE - out, large or small, flat or stepped areas, single rail or options available, all metal custom built and installed (775)790-6445 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $499, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994

Custodian Job Opening

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodian, George Whittell High School, Starting Salary: $17.08/hr., 40 hours per week / Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid vacation & sick leave.

For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor at wblument@dcsd.k12.nv. us or visit our website at dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

LOADING EQUIPMENT AND CAMPING GEAR: “Mech Jr.” Turret for 12 gauge shot shells, “Bair” Press, Dies for 38 Spcl., 357 Mag., 44 Mag., 45 Colt, 30 Carbine and 30-30 Winchester, “RCBS” and “Lyman” powder Measures, “Redding” scale, “RCBS” bullet puller, Molo for 158 GR. 38 Spcl, primers for shot shells, small pistol and small rifle; Coleman 2 burner and 1 burner stoves, Coleman lantern, twin size air mattress, tent, Best offer for any or all of it (775)392-2723 ‘In order to sleep, first we pretend to sleep.”

18

As you’ll remember from our story last month, nobody really knew who owned the historic Al Tahoe Cemetery for more than 50 years. And then Rosemary Manning came along. Rosemary frequently walked by the old, rundown graveyard. And as regent for the Lake Tahoe chapter of the DAR, she knew the importance of historic preservation. Rosemary thought restoring the old cemetery might make a great project for the group. But when the group began trying to locate the owner of the property, tax records were no help; nobody had been paying taxes. Finally, in October, 2019, the helpful city attorney for South Lake Tahoe turned up the forgotten 1965 deed – and discovered the city itself owned the property!

Chapter members marking possible grave locations with small wooden stakes. But Rosemary suspected the old cemetery might hold even more burials. Rosemary pioneered the effort to launch a comprehensive ground-penetrating radar (GPR) study.

And that specialized work wouldn’t come cheap: over $8,000.

Thanks to tireless efforts by Cyndy Brown-Carlson, chair of the Lake Tahoe DAR Chapter’s Historic Preservation Committee, several groups finally came together to make this incredible project happen. A $3,000 grant from the El Dorado Community Fund was generously matched by the City of South Lake Tahoe.

Cyndy’s late husband, Len, made a generous donation to the cause. The DAR raised additional funding, and the California Tahoe Conservancy underwrote the portion for their adjacent vacant lots. Before the actual work began, Kiwanis of Tahoe Sierra members provided labor to clear the site of weeds and brush.

And for the GPR work itself? That’s where expert Matt Turner of GeoModel, Inc. came in. With more than twenty years’ experience under his belt, Turner has completed GPR projects all over the globe, from Africa to Japan. In June, 2020, Turner lugged his specialized equipment for the project all the way from Leesburg, Virginia to Tahoe.

The GPR unit he used for the Al Tahoe grave detection senses anomalies as much as nine feet below ground. Turner methodically crisscrossed the site, flagging spots that showed density anomalies (likely grave locations) with bright orange paint. By the end of the day, orange lines lay scattered over the “vacant” cemetery plot. And the final tally astonished everyone: some 110 likely unmarked graves had now been identified!

A few headstones do still remain, of course. Visitors can still find the final resting place of Katie Hill, once married to hotel-keeper Elijah Benjamin “Starvation” Smith (who supposedly nearly starved on his way west). Another prominent stone belongs to Richard Peters, operator of an early station on old Kingsbury Grade. Sadly, we still don’t know exactly where pioneers Thomas and Sophronia Rowland are buried. But they’re resting here, somewhere, beneath the Tahoe pines.

The Lake Tahoe DAR chapter is continuing to hunt for information about the Al Tahoe Pioneer Cemetery and its burials.

If you have old photos of the cemetery or information about families buried here, they’d love to hear from you. And if you’d

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

19

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

like perhaps to contribute to the group’s continuing restoration efforts, they’d love that, too! Here’s their website: https://laketahoe.californiadar.org/ or contact them at info@altahoecemetery. org.

Karen Dustman writes frequently about Sierra history, fascinating people, and forgotten tales. Find her books and lots more stories at www.Clairitage.com.

MOTOR HOME - 2002 36’ ALPINE COACH, DIESEL, newly updated interior, 53,500 miles, Banks Power, satellite dish, solar panels, so much more, excellent condition inside and out $55,000, Gardnerville (760)937-1927 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700

Easter Poem for Children

Eggs and Chicks and Bunnies are near, for Easter you see will soon be here. But what is Easter-and why the Spring season?

Chicks are hatched out of eggs you see, they represent new life for you and me. For Jesus died and was buried three days, then Easter morning he was raised so when we die, we can live again. Jesus gave new life to all God’s children.

Bunnies are part of Easter too, they’re born in the Spring when all is new. The grass, the flowers, and leaves start to grow, putting an end to their sleep in the snow.

So as you gather your treats and have fun, let them remind you of Jesus and all he has done. (poet unknown) COLEMAN PROPANE LANTERN AND EXTRA TANKS $25; sleeping bag $10; ice chest $20; Masonic rings (sold to masons only) $20 & $80; new black Resistol hat size 6&7/8 $40 (775)762-2220 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065 QUANTUM 600 POWER WHEEL CHAIR $300 OBO (775)790-0885

20

Obesity a driving factor in COVID-19 deaths, global report finds

LONDON (Reuters) - The majority of global COVID-19 deaths have been in countries where many people are obese, with coronavirus fatality rates 10 times higher in nations where at least 50% of adults are overweight, a global study found on Thursday.

The report, which described a “dramatic” correlation between countries’ COVID-19 death and obesity rates, found that 90% or 2.2 million of the 2.5 million deaths from the pandemic disease so far were in countries with high levels of obesity.

The study analysed the COVID-19 death figures from Johns Hopkins University in the United States and the World Health Organization’s Global Health Observatory data on obesity.

Strikingly, the authors said, there is no example of a country where people are generally not overweight or obese having high COVID-19 death rates.

“Look at countries like Japan and South Korea, where they have very low levels of COVID-19 deaths as well as very low levels of adult obesity,” said Tim Lobstein, an expert advisor to the World Obesity Federation and visiting professor at Australia’s Sydney University who co-led the report.

“They have prioritised public health across a range of measures, including population weight, and it has paid off in the pandemic.”

By contrast, the report found that in the United States and Britain, for example, both COVID-19 death rates and obesity levels were among the highest.

The United Kingdom has the world’s third-highest coronavirus death rate and the fourth-highest obesity rate - 184 COVID19 deaths per 100,000 and 63.7% of adults overweight, according to WHO data - followed by the United States, with 152.49 COVID-19 deaths per 100,000 and 67.9% of adults overweight.

John Wilding, a professor of medicine at Britain’s University of Liverpool and president of the World Obesity Federation, said obesity should be recognised as a key COVID-19 health risk and taken into account in vaccination plans.

“It’s really important that we recognise that obesity ... increases the risk,” he said in a statement about the report’s findings.

“Therefore, like other diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease, people with obesity should be considered for early priority in vaccination programmes across the world.” (Reporting by Kate Kelland; Editing by Janet Lawrence)

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919

LAWN MAINTENANCE, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, HOA, Weekly Lawn Care, Fertilizing, Equal Payment Plans, Package Programs, Licensed And Bonded, 25 Years Serving Carson Valley, Total Lawn & Landscape (775)782-3505

Bad Baby

Due to a power outage, the house was very dark. The paramedic asked Kathleen, a 4 year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

After little Connor was born, the paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on the bottom. He began to cry.

The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 4 year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!’

MOUNTAIN DESERT BUILDERS: SPECIALIZING in remodels, one room to the entire home, including decks, windows, doors, siding and trim, Lic.#83159, Call Eamonn (775)781-4753

Aging Artwork

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country’s greatest works of art.

Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took grandma with her.

At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. ‘Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted.’ ‘Oh my, ‘the grandmother says.

‘He and I must have the same landlord.’

WICKWARE LTD, STEEL CONSTRUCTION, gates, metal building erection, welding and repair of off highway equipment, furnish and install of structural and ornamental steel, anything steel, anywhere in Nevada. Contractor’s License #87042, Insured and bonded. We are local to Northern NV since 1992, 100% Nevada owned, Clean background, Free estimates, Christopher - Ironchris1974@gmail.com or (775)450-6921

Douglas County Democrats

Monthly meetings are held virtually on the 4th Thursday of the month from 7pm to 8pm. Look for program details and other Douglas Dems information at www.douglasdems.org. “The past is ours to remember. The future is ours to create.” We look forward to reopening our office soon.

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

21

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 WE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PETS IN YOUR home, all sizes, we WILL spoil them as you do, call for meet and greet, 10 years experience, housekeeping available too, Serving Dayton, Carson City, Douglas County, Johnnell and Al (209)986-6381

Bathroom Mirror

What Do Tire Size Numbers P205 55R16 Mean?

P - The P indicates the tire is for use on a passenger car. 205 This number indicates the section width--the maximum width in millimeters from the outer sidewall to the inner sidewall; in this case 205 millimeters. 55 - This is the sidewall height-to-width aspect ratio given as a percent. The 55 means that the sidewall height is 55 percent of the tire width. R - The letter after the aspect ratio indicates the style of construction. R means it is a radial tire. 16 - The number following the construction code is the wheel size in inches. This tire is designed to fit a 16-inch diameter wheel.

David staggered home very late after another evening out with his drinking buddy, Joe. Taking off his shoes so as not to wake his wife, Dave tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump, breaking the remaining liquor bottles that he had brought with him in the process!

Managing not to yell, David sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding thanks to all the glass from the broken bottles.

Managing to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids in the bathroom, he returned to the hall mirror and began putting a BandAid as best he could wherever he spotted blood.

Finally done, he then hid the now almost empty box and stumbled the rest of his way up to the room, slinking into the end of the bed without waking Kathy.

Come morning, David wakes up with a heavy head and a searing pain in his butt, and more disturbingly, a visibly annoyed Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

Not mincing her words, she said, “You were drunk again last night weren’t you?”

To which Dave could only reply, ” Now why you say such a mean and untrue thing?”

“Well,” Kathleen said, “it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly… it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror!”

NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, EMAIL tacaimnv@gmail. com or call (775)360-5214 EARTH STOVE HIGH EFFICIENT WOOD BURNING stove $150 OBO; Hilti electric concrete drill, TE-17 complete $100; free standing propane construction heater $100, Gardnerville (775)636-0667 THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848 The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

22

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

Wisdom on the sexes

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. The Style: Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn’t want. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Marriage: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does. Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her, a man, of the woman who didn’t.There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. Husbands: Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her way, and the other is to let her have it.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use in two people remembering the same thing. The Battle: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808 NEW KUREG COFFEE MAKER, NEW WAVE COOKER, new Brighton purse and belt, quality gem jewelry, antique clocks and much more, call for more details (775)782-8211

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said, “This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?

The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant’s question about his “garage door.”

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, “When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?”

She smiled and said, “No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.”

HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958

April 4th - Happy Easter!

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Easter tidbits

Christians observe Easter on the first Sunday after the first full moon on (or after) the vernal equinox. This is the day when the majority of earth experiences nearly equal hours of sunlight and nighttime, which signals the arrival of spring in the northern hemisphere. That’s why Easter falls on a different date each year.

But before Christianity was an established religion, there was a pagan holiday that also fell around the time of the March equinox, a festival for the fertility goddess Eastre or Eostre. Her symbols included the hare, along with the egg, both of which have represented new life since ancient times. Some scholars believe that in Medieval Europe, Christian missionaries hoped to convert Anglo-Saxons to Christianity by aligning Easter to the days of these pagan festivals and adopting similar traditions.

This could explain how rabbits first got connected to the Christian holiday. $5 OFF FIRST HAIR APPOINTMENT, MEN, Women and Children. Style changes welcome. Pure Platinum Salon, Carson City, call or text (775)300-8821 DX NIKON 70-300MM 1:45-6.3GEO AFP, BRAND new Nikon bag $135, Gardnerville (805)722-7667 Whenever your ex says, “You’ll never find someone like me,” the answer to that is, “That’s the point.”

How I got an Ostrich

A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asked them for their orders. The man said, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.” She turned to the ostrich.

“What’s yours?” she asked the ostrich. “I’ll have the same,” said the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returned with the order. “That will be $9.40, please.” And the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and the man said, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.” The ostrich said, “I’ll have the same.” Again the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two entered again. “The usual?” asked the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” said the man. “Same,” said the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brought the order and said, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and placed it on the table.

The waitress could not hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

“Well,” said the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” said the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!” “That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” said the man.

The waitress asked, “What’s with the ostrich?” The man sighed, paused and answered, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree.com or Lisa (775)450-3175 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081

24

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

25

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Reasons why some men have dogs and not wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor. 4. Dogs’ parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day. 7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re mad. 8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. Dogs won’t wake you up at night to ask: “If I died, would you get another dog?” 10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell ‘em. 11. When you drop a silent one, dogs don’t run around frantically with room spray 13. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your privates. Instead, they sit wondering why you don’t lick ‘them. 14. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on them, without calling you a pervert. 15. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won’t kick you in the crotch; it just finds it interesting. 16. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won’t take half your stuff.

To verify these statements: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open the door, and observe who’s happy to see you!

CARD TABLE AND FOUR FOLDING CHAIRS $20; olderover-stuffed brown leather recliner $80; wood coffee table with glass inlay $65; concrete yard fountain (needs pump) $20 (775)762-2220

Happy April Birthdays!

May your special day be... Surrounded with happiness.

Filled with laughter. Wrapped with pleasure. Brightened with fun. Blessed with love. Remembered with joy and enriched with hope. Happy Birthday!

RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528 DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462 KIRBY VACUUM AND SHAMPOO SYSTEM, DIAMOND edition, cleans carpet, tile, flooring, upholstery, 8 attachments, plus shampoo kit $450, leave message (775)265-1190 CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred.

Please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number. I return all calls. Call Joanne at (775)4302352

26

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

27

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827

Help Wanted! Smith and Yerington

Renner Equipment – Parts Person/Smith Valley True Value Hardware, Parts Department/Counter Person, Yerington, Bilingual helpful. Contact Don Renner (775)221-8808 WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

AMERICAN FUND RESEARCH AMMUNITION for sale, various calibers, call for details (775)720-6076

28

Two Lions

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.

All day every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.

The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and must publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.

While he was leading a safari through the jungle, walking all day and cutting vines with their machetes, all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.

After setting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot.

When the 6 o’clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, “African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions.”

TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

KENMORE ELITE He2 ELECTRIC DRYER, EXCELLENT condition exterior and performance $155, Gardnerville (805)722-7667

Amen Brother!

Two elderly, excited women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of lust, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs...”AMEN, BROTHER!” When the preacher condemned the sin of stealing, they yelled again...”PREACH IT, REVEREND!” And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying...they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER...

TELL IT LIKE IT IS...AMEN!” But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet, and one turned to the other and said, “He’s done quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”

HOOVER WIND TUNNEL UPRIGHT VACUUM lightly used $65; Women’s Coats, Size Large - Purple Rex RABBIT swing $400, grey Sheared Beaver bomber $950, brown faux fur $80; Two 40” flat screens $50, Gardnerville (775)3924292 TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398

A New Dawn

As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time to read my shampoo bottle. I am in shock! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says “for extra volume and body!” Seriously, why have I not noticed this before? Now I understand why I am so “full-figured”! Tomorrow I am going to start using “Dawn” dish soap. It says right on the label “dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.” It pays to read the warning labels my friends!

“Why do we say “slept like a baby” when a baby wakes up every few hours?”

29

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Hang it on the Cross

If you have a secret sorrow, a burden or a loss, an aching need for healing... Hang It On The Cross.

If worry steals your sleep and makes you turn and toss, if your heart is feeling heavy... Hang It On The Cross.

Every obstacle to faith or doubt you come across, every prayer unanswered... Hang It On The Cross.

For Christ has borne our brokenness and dearly paid the cost to turn our trials to triumph... Hanging On The Cross. $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461 JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL. Aerating & detaching. Lawn Service. Excavating. Sprinkler repair. Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955 DRESSER WITH CHANGING PAD ON TOP, BROWN, 36wX39hX18 deep, Crib with adjustable mattress, brown, 55wX44hX28 deep, $100 for all, Minden (702)465-0724 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766

Do cats go to heaven?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”

The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”

God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”

God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”

The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”

TWO 2 YEAR OLD OPEN HEIFERS, READY FOR butcher (775)720-7686

30

April 13th - Ramadan Begins

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

31

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

32