School!
STORIES & COLUMNS
From F lip-Flops to Fresh Starts
Dear Rockland Families,
The start of a new school year always brings a mix of excitement and adjustment— new school supplies, new teachers, and the return of routines after a summer of late nights and long days outdoors. For families, it’s a season of new beginnings and a chance to set the tone for the year ahead. Whether you’re preparing your preschooler for their very first classroom experience or juggling the return of after-school activities, September is the month where everything shifts back into motion.
In this issue, you’ll find everything you need to kick off the school year with confidence: expert advice on creating a learning space at home to promote productivity, easing the transition back to school, and after-school programs that keep kids learning long after the bell rings. And
GET IN TOUCH
since summer’s not quite over, we have plenty of ways to enjoy the final golden days of summer fun with the family.
We’re also bringing you an exclusive conversation with Governor Kathy Hochul, who shares candid thoughts on education, family policies, and what lies ahead for New York parents. As always, our goal is to provide you with a trusted guide for parenting in the city—whether you’re looking for weekend activities or thoughtful insight on the issues that matter most to families today.
We wish all the children returning to school this month a smooth transition into the school year. Here’s to a new year of routines, opportunities, and discovery!
Happy New (School) Year,
Tara
Share your feedback and ideas about family life in New York! Email us at editorial@newyorkfamily.com and tag us at #newyorkfamily
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Smart Tips for a Positive Learning Space at Home
Ideas to help homeschoolers — and all kids — stay focused
BY DANIELLE RAMOS
One of the biggest benefits of homeschooling is the flexibility to shape learning around your child’s interests, pace, and environment. However, creating a space where that learning really thrives takes a little intention. Still, a positive classroom environment at home doesn’t have to be complicated; it just needs to feel calm, inspiring, and tailored to your child’s needs.
We consulted K12.com, a leader in online education, for tips on how to best set up your kids to learn at home. These tips are especially great for homeschool families looking to make everyday life part of the curriculum. And they also work beautifully for kids who come home from school needing a quiet, supportive place to study
and do their homework.
From turning daily chores into hands-on lessons to weaving curiosity into everyday conversations, here are six simple ways:
1. Turn Everyday Chores Into Learning Opportunities
One of the best parts of at-home learning is that daily tasks can double as lessons. Watering the plants? Use this as an opportunity to discuss photosynthesis, explaining how plants convert sunlight into energy to grow. Measuring soil moisture can become a quick science experiment, tracking plant growth over time to teach patience and observation. Chores like cooking also provide endless opportunities. Ask your child to help measure ingredients and explain fractions while you cook. Folding laundry? Turn it into
a lesson on sorting, patterns, or basic math by counting pairs of socks. These simple, handson activities bring lessons to life, showing kids how learning connects to the real world.
2. Create a Learning-Rich Home
Making your home a learning-rich space means setting up areas where curiosity thrives and inspiration is woven into daily routines. Start by creating a dedicated, comfortable workspace with essentials like notebooks, pencils, and subject-specific tools. Surround this space with materials encouraging exploration, such as bookshelves filled with fiction, nonfiction, and educational games.
Go beyond the desk, too. Hang up maps in the hallway or display a calendar featuring daily facts. Create a “question corner” where kids can write down things they wonder about and set aside time each week to explore them together.
3. Encourage Curiosity Through Everyday Conversations
Kids are always learning, even during everyday conversations. When they mention something interesting, follow up with open-ended questions like, “Why do you
think that happened?” or “What would you do differently next time?” This keeps their minds active and encourages critical thinking.
Guide discussions toward discovery. If they talk about a favorite TV show, discuss the storyline, character motivations, or the science behind special effects. If you are walking the dog and notice changing weather, talk about seasons, climate, or how animals adapt. You do not need to turn every conversation into a lesson; just keep curiosity alive by letting kids explore ideas naturally.
4. Foster a Love for Reading
A love for reading is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. Reading boosts brain function, reduces stress, and strengthens comprehension skills. Creating this habit does not have to feel like a chore.
Allow children to explore different genres, like adventure, mystery, or nonfiction. Keep books within reach around the house and set aside family reading time, whether it is before bed or through audiobooks. Visit your local library. Make reading a natural
Making your home a learning-rich space means setting up areas where curiosity thrives and inspiration is woven into daily routines.
part of the day by discussing books over meals or during downtime.
5. Transform Screen Time Into Learning Time
Screen time is a big part of life, especially for students in online school. But it can be more than just logging into lessons or scrolling through apps. With a little creativity, screens can become powerful tools for learning and exploration.
Introduce educational content like interactive science videos, coding games, or virtual museum tours. Use apps that teach problem-solving, languages, or creativity to
balance entertainment with learning. View or play educational games together to discuss what they are discovering.
6. Model Lifelong Learning
Children learn by observing the people around them, especially their parents. When they see you curious, engaged, and open to new experiences, they are more likely to adopt the same mindset. Share your interests and learning moments with them, whether reading a new library book, trying a recipe for the first time, or researching a topic online. Involve them in your learning process. If you are troubleshooting a project or picking up a new hobby, talk through the steps you are taking and the challenges you are facing. Let them see that learning is a lifelong journey.
Tips originally published on online learning solution, K12.com. K12 offers families a range of flexible education options, including tuition-free online public schools, personalized tutoring, and accredited homeschool curriculum designed to meet students where they are and help them thrive.
& FITNESS
SCHOOL SNACKS
that kids won’t want to trade!
BY SHARA LEVINE
Having the right snacks is almost as important as having the right school supplies. Some kids may argue that they are even more important. But even if your child has a go-to favorite now, we all know they will change their mind as soon as you buy it in bulk. So, check out our list of favorite kid-tested snacks to keep in your rotation—they will keep up the snackcitment! Our picks include great-tasting selections made with quality ingredients that will have their friends asking them to trade at recess.
New (Pretzel) Twist on a Classic
We love this ultra-crunchy take on the traditional knotted pretzel—it’s the same shape but flat. Snack Factory Pretzel Crisps are great for snacking on solo or as an alternative to crackers, perfect for dipping into lunchtime hummus and other favorite dips. Snack-size flavors include Original, Garlic Parmesan, and Buffalo Wing. Snack Factory Pretzel Crisps are available at all major retailers, including Target and Walmart.
Light as Air
Like Air is the perfect name for this snack, because the texture is so light and fluffy that it does, in fact, taste air-like. Like Air is available in five delicious flavors: White Cheddar, Classic, Pancake, Sour Cream & Onion, and Cinnamon Bun (a favorite!). Co-founded by a busy Mom to two, this school-safe snack is gluten-free, doesn’t contain artificial ingredients or eight of the major allergens, including wheat, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, sesame, and shellfish, and made in a nut-free facility. Like Air is available online at likeair.com, amazon.com, and ShopRite stores.
Better-Baked Bites
MadeGood Chocolate Chip Soft Baked Mini Cookies are thoughtfully created to keep the familiar taste of chocolate chip cookies while also creating an organic product free from nine common allergens, artificial colors, or flavors. Soft-baked and bite-sized, these are a delicious alternative to regular overprocessed cookies. They are available at most retail stores and at madegoodfoods.com.
Sweet Energy!
Clif Kid Zbar is a great on-the-go snack packed with at least 10 grams of whole grains per bar and certified organic. This soft-baked goodness comes in a variety of flavors, including Chocolate Chip, Iced Oatmeal Cookie, Chocolate Brownie, and S’mores. With so many options to choose from, it will keep your kids from having flavor fatigue. Clif Kid Zbars are available online at clifbar.com and all major retailers, including Stop&Shop and Whole Foods.
Less Fat, More Flavor
Everyone loves a bag of potato chips, and our kid testers loved Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips, specifically the 40% less fat version (40% compared to the leading potato chip). These gluten-free chips are made with just three ingredients that are easy to understand and pack a powerful crunch! Other flavors include Sea Salt & Vinegar, Sweet Mesquite BBQ, and Original. Find Cape Cod chips at all major retailers, including Key Food and Fairway Market.
Bite-Sized
Bliss
Made with real fruit purees and juices, Pure Organic Twisted Fruit Bites is a new snack from Pure Organic that comes in two delicious flavors: Peach Mango and Blueberry Raspberry. Vegan and glutenfree, these soft and chewy little bites are bursting with flavor, making them a great addition to any lunchbox. Pick them up on your next Target run.
Skip the Spoon
Squeeze some calcium into your kids’ diet with GoGo SqueeZ YOGURTZ . From the brand that brought you squeezable fruit blends, GoGo SqueeZ YOUGURTZ has grown with our kids to include another convenient way to fuel up with shelf-stabilized yogurt pouches in eight yummy flavors, including Strawberry, Blueberry, and Mango. No spoon or refrigeration is needed! Glutenfree and packed in BPA-free packaging, yogurt will never be the same! Find GoGo SqueeZ YOUGURTZ at Target and Walmart.
Better with Cheddar
If you have a cheddar-loving child, you’ll want to stock up on Pirate’s Booty Cheddar Blast ! Living up to its name, Cheddar Blast contains 50% more cheese than regular Pirate’s Booty Aged White Cheddar, but doesn’t have an overwhelming taste. This gluten-free baked snack is a great alternative to popcorn and just as snackable. Find Pirate’s Booty Cheddar Blat! on Amazon.
Marita Smith, DDS
Easing Kids into Back-to-School Mode
BY ROSDALY RAMIREZ
Do you remember what you felt leading up to the first day of school as a kid? I can recall the before-sleep thoughts, the morning excitement and worries that came with the idea of heading back to school. If you have little ones, their behaviors may look about the same: more tears than usual, some may find comfort in clingy to your leg, and others may have a sudden burst of joy. After working with children for many years and spending five of those years working with high school students, transitioning back to school for kids is a huge milestone. Transitions can bring up a lot of emotions and behaviors, and if you’re a parent, preparing your child for them sets them up for how these big milestones will impact them. I have some key pieces of advice for parents as a social worker and parent of three kids.
BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS
Establish a Routine
Begin a consistent bedtime and morning routine a few weeks before school starts. This will allow your child to mentally and physically start adjusting from the summer routine
to the new school year. If you have little ones, pictures are a great way to help your child identify what their daily life will look like.
Familiarize with the School Environment
Visit the school together to explore the classroom, playground, and other key areas. This is very important for all kids; it builds up their imagination, which can lead to conversations with you. If you have a child with sensory disabilities that thrives off routine, it’s especially important for them. Attend any orientation sessions or meet-and-greet events with teachers. Your child’s teacher is another adult who will play a role in your child’s life. Safety is a big thing for kids, and getting the opportunity to know them can really set the tone for how they transition into the classroom.
Discuss School Positively
Talk about the exciting aspects of school, such as making new friends and learning new things. Ask questions. Dinner time is a great place to have these conversations. I always invite parents to share some first-day school stories.
For little ones, read books about starting school to build anticipation and reduce anxiety.
Practice Independence
Encourage self-help skills like dressing, using the bathroom, and opening lunch containers. Assign simple tasks at home to boost their confidence in handling responsibilities.
DURING THE TRANSITION
Stay Calm and Positive
Your attitude can significantly influence your child’s feelings. Stay positive and calm. Your attitude affects your children’s mornings, and it spills over to the rest of their day.
Just like it’s their first big day, it’s also yours. Have a check-in with yourself. Write down some worries you may have or emotions that are coming up for you. Be prepared to navigate different emotions that morning, so get rest and also have a routine for yourself.
Create a Goodbye Ritual
Develop a consistent, quick, and positive goodbye routine. You know your child best; what will comfort them as you say goodbye?
If you have little ones, I highly
recommend getting them a comfort item. Each year, I give my son a soft heart. He takes one to school, and I keep one with me. It comforts him to know we’re connected, though I’m not with him.
Encourage Social Connections
Some kids thrive in seeking out relationships, while others may have anxiety even thinking about it. Making connections as kids get older can be hard, so encourage your kid from a lens of empathy and space.
After the pandemic, we’ve seen an increase in social anxiety, though as parents we want to encourage social connections. If you sense your child is feeling anxious, I would recommend having a teacher, counselor, or social worker check in with them at school.
Addressing Emotional Needs:
Acknowledge Feelings
Listen to your child’s concerns and validate their feelings.
Provide comfort and understanding without dismissing their worries.
Promote Problem-Solving
Encourage your child to think of solutions to any challenges they face.
Role-play different scenarios they might encounter at school.
Stay Involved
Maintain regular communication with teachers and school staff. Your child’s teacher is on your team, So communicate changes in your child, things you’re noticing about them or when big changes are happening in your family. They all impact your child’s behavior in school. It also leaves an open door for teachers to do the same.
Participate in school activities and volunteer opportunities to stay connected with your child’s school experience. As your child gets older, this will be important. I know they may be in a stage where you’re “embarrassing,” but showing up to activities they’re participating in builds your confidence and relationship with them.
After School StArtS
Establish a Post-School Routine
Create a calming routine after school to help
your child unwind and share their day. The first hour back home should be a time when they get to choose what they want to do. It’s also an important time for you to disconnect from work and other responsibilities to make room for your child to connect with you.
Monitor Progress
Keep an eye on your child’s academic and social progress.
Address any concerns promptly with teachers, school counselors, or social workers.
Celebrate Milestones
Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements, both big and small.
Provide positive reinforcement and encouragement regularly.
I hope these tips will help you begin transitioning into the school year as you support your child for another exciting year this Fall. And remember, you’re learning just as much as they are about navigating parenthood. Give yourself some grace.
Festival Art by Sharee Miller
The TraU ma App
How trauma can override our better parenting instincts
By Dr. roByn Koslowitz
It’s a familiar scenario. You wake up thinking: Today, I’m going to parent differently. Today, Bluey’s parents will have nothing on me. And then, the battle over the shoes begins. Your toddler doesn’t believe they serve a useful function, so he keeps taking them off. The middle-schooler is angry — she’s not sure what she’s angry about, but she’s sure it’s your fault. The teenager says he hates you. The toast burns, the milk spills, and you’re all running late. And then…we know what happens. When we wake up expecting to do X, but Y happens, we feel a sense of shame. It feels like it’s our willpower, our laziness, or some essential flaw within us. But what if it’s not you? What if it’s actually your trauma? What if it’s not about who you are, but what you’ve learned? Many of us begin each day with the best intentions—to be patient, responsive, and present with our children. But for trauma survivors, those intentions are
often overridden by something stronger than willpower.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) doesn’t always show up as nightmares or flashbacks. Sometimes, it looks like snapping at your child, feeling numb during bedtime stories, or spiraling into guilt after a day of parenting in ways you never meant to. These aren’t signs of being a “bad parent.” They’re signs of a protective mechanism—one that was once lifesaving but now overrides your values.
The Brain’s Survival Coding
Trauma reshapes the nervous system. When something overwhelming happens—especially in childhood—the brain installs a survival protocol. I call it the “trauma app.” Like an app on your phone, it has a specific function: to detect threats and respond instantly.
The trauma app doesn’t ask whether the threat is real, current, or even dangerous. It just sees patterns. Raised voice? Withdraw. Eye roll? Attack. A child ignoring you? Flood
with shame or rage. These responses aren’t conscious. The trauma app overrides your thoughtful, intentional self in the name of survival.
How It Shows Up in Parenting
The trauma app is installed at the point of trauma, and its algorithm is set to protection mode by responding with Y when it experiences X. This means you may find yourself parenting with reflexes rather than reflection:
• If my child backtalks, I react immediately, because the trauma app warns me that defiance means I’m unsafe or powerless.
• If they cry, I rush to fix it—because the trauma app remembers how unbearable it felt when no one comforted me.
• If they seem ungrateful, I spiral—because the trauma app equates their ingratitude with proof that I’m not enough.
• If things feel out of control, I either get too harsh or completely give in—because the trauma app tells me that control equals safety.
• If they need connection when I feel overwhelmed, I shut down—because the trauma app learned long ago that emotional closeness in chaos isn’t safe.
These reflexes aren’t parenting strategies—they’re trauma responses. They override your current reality with outdated
scripts. And because they’re so fast and automatic, they often feel like truth.
The Trauma App Is Fast. Your Values Are Slow
The trauma app runs on instinct, not intention. It’s fast, rigid, and based on past experiences. On the other hand, your values—your belief in connection, in gentle correction, in letting kids feel big feelings— are slow. They require reflection, presence, and calm. But when the trauma app activates, it overrides those values. It doesn’t wait for your higher self to weigh in. It just acts.
That’s why you may yell when you meant to coach, shut down when you meant to engage, or overcompensate when you meant to hold a boundary. The app has taken over— and it’s working off a threat assessment that’s no longer accurate.
Trauma Doesn’t Know Time
One of the trauma app’s quirks is that it can’t tell time. It doesn’t know that the threat is over. It doesn’t realize you’re now the adult, safe in your own home, with a child, not an aggressor, in front of you.
That’s why your child’s eye roll might trigger a flood of shame. Your brain isn’t responding to your child—it’s responding to a teacher who mocked you, a parent who dismissed you, or a time when eye rolls meant emotional danger.
To the trauma app, it feels like history is repeating itself. So it reacts with urgency, even when none is needed.
Discomfort ≠ Danger
The trauma app also confuses discomfort with danger. Whining, defiance, anger—these are uncomfortable. But they’re not threats. Still, the trauma app can’t tell the difference. It reacts as if your child is unsafe, or as if you are. That’s why you may find yourself overexplaining, people-pleasing, snapping, or withdrawing. Your brain is trying to regulate a sense of threat that isn’t actually present.
These moments aren’t failures. They’re notifications from the trauma app, trying to protect you from a threat it doesn’t realize isn’t happening anymore.
Reclaiming the Controls
The goal isn’t to delete the trauma app—it once kept you alive. The goal is to notice
when it’s running and gently take back the controls. To pause, breathe, and ask: Is this about now, or is this about then?
You don’t have to parent perfectly. You just have to parent consciously. The more often you can recognize the override and reorient toward your values, the less frequently the trauma app will run the show.
And when it does? Repair is always possible. Parenting isn’t about perfection— it’s about presence.
Robyn Koslowitz, PhD, has been a licensed child psychologist since 2017 and now houses her practice at The Center for Psychological Growth of New Jersey, focusing on trauma-informed psychotherapy for children, adolescents, and families. She is the educational director of the Targeted Parenting Institute and the host of the popular Post-Traumatic Parenting podcast and YouTube channel. Her work is regularly published in Psychology Today, and she has appeared on Fox, NPR, CNN, NewsNation, and other national television outlets. Her new book, Post Traumatic Parenting, is now on sale. She lives in New Jersey, where she practices post-traumatic parenting with her own children and family.
Education Skills To Develop Before Starting Preschool
By Emily lE vy
With summer winding down and fall up at bat, the reality that your child will be starting preschool may be sinking in. Much of preschool involves play and loads of fun, but arming your child with early academic foundations—in an engaging and enjoyable manner—can help set them up for preschool success. Try some of the ideas below.
Sorting Objects
Sorting objects is an important skill that will be tackled in preschool, so prepare your child with some sorting activities that you can practice at home. Purchase a bag of multicolored buttons, pom poms, or paper clips, and set out a six-cup muffin tray. Explain to your child that together you will practice putting all of the same color object into a single muffin cup. Make sure you model a few first. You should start by putting all the yellow buttons in one cup, blue ones in another, green in a third, and so forth. Then have them practice sorting on their own and praise them when they have successfully sorted all of the objects. Of course, as a bonus, this activity will reinforce color recognition.
Counting and Number Recognition
Counting and number recognition are also important early-learning skills. Strengthen these skills by integrating counting exercises into everyday life. For instance, if you are at the supermarket, ask your child to count the number of apples or oranges as you put them into a plastic bag. When you remove items from your shopping cart and load them onto the checkout belt, have your child count each one to work on one-to-one correspondence. Have them count the number of clothing items you put in the washing machine, papers you need to complete for work, keys you have on your key ring, and so on. To add some number recognition practice, try playing a “game” where you label individual cups 1-10, with one number on each cup. Ask your child
to go around your house and find one item to put in the “1” cup, two items to put in the “2” cup, and so on. The more fun and engaging you can make these activities, the better!
Letter Recognition
While your child will likely learn more about letters once the school year begins, you can give them a prelude with some fun letter recognition games. Purchase a bag of plastic or foam letters and put them in a bowl. Write out the alphabet on a sheet of construction paper, then point to a letter and ask your child to “scoop up” that letter using a ladle or spoon. You can also try using chocolates for another fun letter game. To play this game, write two sets of single letters on small white stickers (two A’s, two B’s, etc), then attach them to the bottom of Hershey Kisses or other chocolates. Together, you can play a game of Memory. First you flip over one chocolate and identify the letter, then flip over another chocolate and try to find the letter match. Your child goes next, then you, and so on. The first player to find the most letter matches wins!
Problem-solving
Problem-solving is a skill that will continue to play a role throughout your child’s academic career, so it’s helpful to start building this skill at a young age with some fun activities. Try playing “Guess the Item”
with your child, where you give them a set of clues and they need to try to identify the object. For instance, you might say, “I’m thinking of something that’s furry and has four legs and a tail,” and ask them to guess the object (dog) or “I’m thinking of something that’s long and thin, has an eraser at the top, and has a point at the end” and ask them to guess the object (pencil). If they struggle to guess the object, offer clues, like “you can write with it or sharpen it” for a pencil, or “it often wags its tail or drinks water out of a bowl” for dog.
Following Directions
Your child will need to follow a lot of directions once they start preschool so try some exercises at home to improve this skill. You can play the traditional “Red Light, Green Light” game with them, but with an added twist. Like the classic game, green means go and red means stop, but try throwing in some additional colors for added following directions practice. You may say that blue means bark like a dog, white means scratch his head, and pink means hop on one leg. Throwing in some of these other colors as directives will teach your child to listen carefully and follow the directions appropriately. Simon Says is another fun game you can play to build this skill. Your child must listen to the “commands” and follow the directions accordingly.
Trick or Treat Bag included with admission. Collect Treats around the park and don't forget your costumes!
AGES 2 AND UP
For hours, information, & ticketing:
Fun Joanie Leeds Releases a Love Letter to her Bubby
By Shara Levine
You may have sent your grandmother flowers or a heartfelt card for her birthday, but New York City-based Grammy Award winner Joanie Leeds wrote and recorded an entire album, “Ageless: 100 Years Young,” in time for her Bubby’s milestone 100th birthday.
“Ageless” is Joanie’s 12th children’s studio album. It is inspired by her grandmother, Sylvia Furshman Nusinov, with tunes that will encourage listeners to, just like Bubby, face the world with optimism, be curious, ask questions, and enjoy your favorite sweets! Adding even more nachas (Yiddish for “pride”), Joanie’s 10-year-old daughter, Joya, is heavily featured on the album, including on the song “A, You’re Adorable,” where she sings a remake of the Perry Como and The Fontane Sisters classic as an ode to Sylvia and her husband Sam’s 74-year-long marriage.
Although all of Joanie’s albums are personal and make important topics accessible through her music on records such as “Freadom: Songs Inspired by Banned Children’s Books” and “All the Ladies,” “Ageless: 100 Years Young,” is “a piece of art that will live on in my family for generations to come,” Joanie shares.
Joanie was inspired to write Ageless while performing at a show in South Florida a few years ago. She interviewed her grandmother in hopes of learning more about her life to be able to write this special album.
“It’s funny because, as a songwriter, there is a time before the songs are written when it’s simply an idea, and then everything after. Consumers only hear the finished product, but sometimes the process is even more fun. As a songwriter who loves a theme, I was fixated on how to tell her story properly. It was meaningful to research and learn more about Bubby in the process through letters, pictures, and storytelling!” says Joanie.
The opening track, “Don’t Worry,” is one of Bubby’s favorites on the album and is based on one of her famous lines: “Never
worry worry till worry worries you.” The song reminds little listeners (and grown-ups, too!) to let go of anxieties and be in the moment, weaving in additional quotes from Oprah and Jon Kabat-Zinn.
We learn even more about Bubby on “Genealogy,” a powerful song following Sylvia’s quest to find relatives lost during the Holocaust. Featuring Michael Napolitano on percussion, we learn the lengths she had to go through to find surviving members of her family on this folk-rock tribute. Joanie’s poetic chorus includes the line “leaves and branches roots that make me,” driving home the importance of knowing where we come from. Through the song, we also learn that Syvia’s search led her to write a genealogical workbook to help other people find their roots through research techniques she applied herself.
If you don’t call your grandmother “Bubby,” that’s okay! I’m sure whatever you call her is included on the track, “Bubby,”
which ticks off the myriad ways we refer to our grandmothers across different cultures worldwide. This song will have your little ones dancing around the living room while they’re reminded of these special bonds no matter if they are grandma , abuela , or yaya !
“Ageless: 100 Years Young,” was released last month, just in time for Grandparents’ Day on September 7. The album is full of sweet, sentimental tunes you’ll want to share with your children and their grandmothers. The message of love and family shines through in each track, making it a must-add to your music collection. Learn more about Joanie’s other albums and tour dates by visiting joanieleeds.com and following @joanieleeds on Instagram.
Michelle Rose Photography
How to Choose the Right After-School Program for Your Child’s Personality
BY DANIELLE RAMOS
Veteran parents know that the backto-school hustle isn’t solely about academics. After-school activities can be just as stressful to navigate. Sports, dance, art, STEM clubs…the options are endless, and figuring out which ones will truly suit your child can feel overwhelming. How do you know what will click with their personality? And when is it better to gently encourage them to try something new versus letting them enjoy some downtime?
We spoke with Dr. Irina Gorelik, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist and parent coach
based in Brooklyn, to get her take on the subject.
Dr. Gorelik shares practical, developmentally informed tips for matching kids with after-school programs that help them thrive, whether they’re shy, high-energy, creative, or just need some unstructured time.
How can parents tell what kind of afterschool program will click with their kid’s personality?
Before considering personality, it is essential to ask yourself if the child is ready developmentally. Under age three, kids are
usually not yet developmentally ready for structured activities and can benefit more from programs such as Mommy-and-Me or exploratory/sensory programs that are openended. Once a child is enrolled in school, considering some personality/temperamentbased factors can be helpful to see what may be a good fit.
First, it is important to observe your child. Do they gravitate towards active movement (ball play, running, dancing, music) or quiet focusing? Do they prefer solo exploration or enjoy the energy of being in a group? Do they thrive in predictable play (gravitate towards the same types of play) or
lean towards novel things?
The answers to these questions may help you decide if the child would thrive more in open-ended or structured activities, or high-energy vs. calm. If you are not sure, that is okay! If you have some activities in mind, you can observe a few different types of classes with your child. Look to see if your child wants to join or looks overstimulated and hesitant. Of course, with some temperaments, there may be initial hesitation.
If your child is shy or tends to shy away from social situations, what kinds of after-school programs can help them build confidence without feeling overwhelmed?
For children who are more on the quiet side, or temperament-wise on the slowerto-warm-up side, it may be tempting to expose them to as much socialization as possible for practice. While there are ways in which practice can be helpful and necessary, throwing a child like this into many highenergy activities can backfire. These children often need a gradual approach, such as lowpressure settings that are somewhat openended, where kids can go at their own pace.
Another consideration is whether the class/activity and instructor help kids focus on their growth and development, and process-based learning, vs. one based solely on competition and winning/losing.
Things to look out for:
• Small groups of 6-10 kids
• A consistent instructor whom the child can get used to
• Less focus on audiences and performances early on
• Permission to observe one or two classes before deciding to join
• Routine of what to expect in the class
Depending on the child’s interests, this might be a class with open-ended projects or crafts, such as art or pottery, and music groups. If you are looking for an activity with movement, consider yoga for kids, martial arts (a class focused on self-improvement and growth-based mindset, less on competition), small group swim lessons, and improv-based classes in movement, dance, or drama.
What after-school options work best for high-energy kids or those with trouble sitting still?
Does your child gravitate towards active movement or quiet focusing? Do they prefer solo exploration or enjoy the energy of being in a group? Do they thrive in predictable play or lean towards novel things?
For high-energy kids, it is helpful to look for a program that allows them to channel that energy in a purposeful way that they can also enjoy! The choices often are between more structured programs vs. less structured programs, and each can have benefits depending on what you are looking for and the child’s personality.
It is also important to meet the coach to ensure that you align with their style. Coaches who help kids build confidence by focusing on their individual growth can be significant in keeping kids engaged and building their confidence in the skills.
Examples of more open-ended high-energy programs:
• Parkour
• Obstacle courses
• Nature programs
For more skill-building and structured classes:
• Sport-based extracurriculars
• Martial arts: discipline/focus and high movement
For creative or artsy kids who don’t always love rules or structure, how can parents find programs that keep them engaged without stifling their imagination?
For kids who don’t always do well with structure but are creative, it may be helpful to find programs and activities that are more open-ended.
These programs have guidance, but the child has a sense of agency over the finished product. When observing such programs, it may be helpful to notice if the instructor can help children focus more on process and curiosity versus “doing a good job” or completing the task accurately.
Some ideas:
• Maker spaces
• Pottery/clay building
• Open studio art
• Sensory play programs
• Drama/movement studios with a focus on improv
And what if your kid just flat-out doesn’t want to do any after-school activities? How do you know when to encourage them to try something new and when to give them downtime?
This is a great question! There is a lot of pressure to fill a schedule and keep kids occupied, especially if the child’s peer group is busy after school Monday through Friday. There is also often the added pressure of social media and parent influencers, where it usually seems that kids are always involved in soccer practice, dance, and every other imaginable activity, which can add to parental guilt of feeling that you are not doing enough. To relieve some of that pressure from a psychological and developmental perspective, I say that often, less is more when it comes to after-school activities.
While everyone’s circumstances, capacity, and schedules are unique, children do not always need to be occupied, and free time is critical to development across the board, especially for younger children. Downtime offers time to build creativity through independent play, builds autonomy and decision-making skills, and can help with self-regulation, as it offers time for quiet play.
Some things to consider when determining between allowing more downtime and a gentle push include energy levels when getting home, interest levels, socialization access, and level of physical activity.
Suppose a child shows interest in a particular activity or topic, does not have many days of the week when they are busy after school, is a bit socially isolated, and has not had experience with specific activities yet. In that case, it might be appropriate to give the gentle push.
A few things that might help:
• Offer to observe first or check it out together
• Try one-time activities, such as workshops or drop-in sessions, to gauge interest and fit
• Present it as “giving it a try” rather than a long-term commitment
After-School Programs that Teach Important Life Skills
By Náosha GreGG
As back-to-school season arrives, you may consider enrolling your child in an after-school program. New York City just announced 40 new afterschool programs, opening 5,000 new spots for K-5 students citywide. According to a 2022 YouScience study, 75% of high school graduates feel moderately, slightly, or not at all prepared to make college or career decisions, while another study found that nearly 60% of parents felt their teenagers lacked essential life skills, such as knowing how to make the bed, clean a toilet, or vacuum a room, when they left home.
After-school programs can vary, but they are a great resource for young children and teenagers, and are a great way for your child to explore their interests and develop essential life skills that can assist them later in life. From cooking to woodshop, here are some after-school programs that are sure to instill life-long skills into your child.
Cooking
What kid doesn’t like to get their hands dirty, especially when they can eat it after? Cooking classes are a great skill to embed in children. It is not only a great way to get creative and explore new flavors, but it can also open doors to learning about new cultures, increasing vegetable intake, and incorporating and practicing math and science skills through measurement and temperature gauging. A study from Tufts University found that 28% of Americans say they don’t know how to cook, while another study found that 54% of Americans admit they are not proficient in the kitchen. Cooking classes are an investment that will continuously serve your child and ensure they can prepare their own meals and produce independence while eating healthy.
Swimming
Drowning is the leading cause of unintentional injury death for children ages 1 to 4. However, while considered a life skill, knowing how to swim is not as common among Americans as you would think
According to the American Red Cross, 54% of American adults either can’t swim or don’t have basic swimming skills. Swim classes are not only a great way to stay physically fit and gain muscle strength, but also to prevent drowning.
Some additional benefits of swim classes include improved cardiovascular health, enhanced endurance and muscle strength, and improved posture, making it a great after-school program.
Dance
Creative expression is key for young children and adults as they progress into the real world. Dance classes provide many health benefits, including improved cognitive development by learning complex and different dance combinations, improved flexibility, and boosted confidence.
In fact, dance has such beneficial effects on the brain that it is now being used to treat
people with Parkinson’s disease, according to a recent Harvard study. Dance as an after-school program is also a great way to and to build discipline and explore the various genres from modern to ballet and contemporary.
Woodshop
While some may consider woodshop classes outdated or old school, they still have many benefits as an after-school program. They encourage creativity and problem-solving, and can lead to lucrative careers down the road, such as carpentry. Completing a project, such as a stool or chair, also provides a sense of accomplishment and integrates math and science for brain enrichment.
Chess
Chess classes are a great after-school program to keep your child engaged and sharpen critical thinking skills. Complex situations are grounds for strategic thinking as players decide what move to make next, and teach discipline and sportsman-like behavior. It can help your child later down the line when they need to use critical thinking to make deductions.
Is My Kid Ready to Play a Sport?
BY MARINA DUNBAR
One of the best things about the backto-school season is that it’s also the back-to-extracurricular activities season! That means arts, clubs, and athletics are in full swing to ease the pressure of academics. And with this year’s unforgettable Summer Olympics, there has undoubtedly been a surge in aspiring young athletes going for the gold.
But how do you know when your child is ready to play a sport? And how do you know what sport is prepared for them? We’ve created a guide to help parents understand what sports best fit their kid, so that your little future Olympian will remember to credit you for their early start.
Ages 2 to 5
Walking is the first real sport that babies learn. Once that fundamental skill is developed, the more complex motor functions begin kicking in. Not only is a love of exploration and discovery cultivated during this time, but so is muscle memory, a critical part of all athletics. Kids at this age should be encouraged to participate in activities that help progress the development of this crucial function.
Sports that facilitate freedom in play and incentivize children to learn repetitive movements are ideal for inspiring early athletes. Some examples of early childhood sports are:
• Racing, including simple obstacle courses and mazes
• Jumping rope
• Dancing
• Basic gymnastics
• Throwing and catching a ball
• Swimming
• Hopscotch
• Riding a bicycle or tricycle
These activities help children understand (both in mind and body) that repeating a movement over and over again makes it easier to perform. While it’s too early for team sports, having your child practice these activities in groups can help them get comfortable learning alongside their peers.
Ages 6 to 10
Once the fundamentals of muscle memory are acquired, it’s time to focus on balance,
hand-eye coordination, and attention span. Parents can begin introducing sports with easy rules and basic gameplay strategy. When a child learns how to follow instructions, it’s a sign they’re ready for more complicated and collaborative sports such as:
• Baseball, softball
• Soccer
• Dance teams
• Martial arts
• Lap Swimming
• Roller skating and ice skating
These are all sports that build upon the foundation learned during earlier childhood activities. Pay close attention to what sort of environment your child likes to be in (indoors or outdoors? In water or on grass?) and help them push themselves to learn that environment even more.
Ages 7-10+
It’s junior sports league time! This is around the age when your child will develop a stronger sense of teamwork, strategy, and sportsmanship. Of course, this also means a stronger drive towards competition. Cultivating a healthy sense of competitiveness is essential in children of this age group, but it can be a tricky balancing act. You want your kid to want to win, but you also want them to be able to lose graciously.
A helpful way to encourage healthy competition is to avoid always framing the conversation around winning and losing. Instead, remind your child that they’re playing because it’s fun and healthy, and it’s
still both of those things regardless of which side gets more points. Here are some friendly competitive sports:
• Football
• Basketball
• Volleyball
• Tennis
• Hockey
• Soccer
• Golf
• Competitive Swimming
If your child insists that winning is everything, remind them that every athlete who loves their sport deserves to win sometimes, which means you have to lose sometimes. After all, it’s not a competition if you win every time, right?
The Right Fit
With so many sports to choose from, it can seem overwhelming to try picking the best fit for your child. But that’s why paying attention during those early motor skill stages is so important. Understanding the environment your child prefers and where their natural talents lie will give you a great idea of what activities they will enjoy and thrive in.
Do they constantly try balancing on the edge of the sidewalk? Try gymnastics and the balance beam. Do they like to make-believe they’re a superhero? Try martial arts. Do they love dancing around the living room with you? Encourage them to memorize a routine. The more they try, the more they discover what they love.
Boarding SchoolS
If you’re exploring school options beyond the traditional public, private, or charter school route, boarding schools in or near New York are definitely worth a closer look. These schools offer structured learning environments, built-in academic support, and a strong sense of community, all in one place to help your child blossom. Many also provide top-notch extracurriculars, college prep, and opportunities to foster leadership and confidence. Maybe you’re looking for a stronger academic fit, a little more structure, or just more support and resources. For many students and parents, boarding schools can be a solid all-around option. After all, the right school can provide the structure and support your child needs to thrive, now and in the future. Here are some excellent programs to consider.
Bard Academy & Simon’s Rock at Bard College 30 Seminary drive, Barrytown, nY 413-644-4400, admit@simons-rock.edu bardacademy.simons-rock.edu
Bard Academy and Simon’s Rock at Bard College are designed for students ready to enter college early. Complete ninth and tenth grade at Bard Academy, then start college early at Simon’s Rock to earn an A.A. degree, then matriculate to Bard College to earn a B.A. degree. Bard Academy and Simon’s Rock have relocated to a new campus adjacent to Bard College in Barrytown, NY. Bard Academy and Simon’s Rock offer a curriculum in the liberal arts and sciences, taught by supportive, highly trained faculty who are leading scholars in their field. Simon’s Rock is committed to the pillars of innovative early college education that have formed the foundation of the Simon’s Rock experience for over 50 years.
EF Academy 582 columbus ave, Thornwood, nY
914-495-6056 efacademy.org
At a modern, private day and boarding high school in Westchester County, students join a dynamic and diverse community representing over 60 nationalities. EF Academy offers the prestigious IB Diploma Program, preparing students for global academic excellence. Each student is supported in crafting their unique path to higher education with personalized, one-to-one university guidance. For those seeking flexibility, the school provides a unique 5-day boarding program, combining the benefits of residential life with the comforts of home on weekends. Here, students are not just educated—they are empowered to thrive in the real world.
Harrow International School New York 500 Montauk Highway 631-869-1572, admissions@harrownewyork.com harrownewyork.com
Harrow International School New York, situated on its extraordinary 170-acre Long Island waterfront campus between NYC and the Hamptons, offers a prestigious boarding and day school for grades 6-12. Rooted in 450-year-old British traditions, it provides the IB MYP and IB DP, blending rigorous academics with realworld readiness. Flexible options include 5-day boarding with weekend returns, 7-day boarding, or day school. Advanced facilities such as science labs, arts centers, and athletic fields support a holistic approach to development. Small class sizes ensure personalized attention, while a strong pastoral care system fosters leadership, confidence, and character. With a global student body and a values-driven community, Harrow New York nurtures well-rounded, future-ready individuals. Learn more at harrownewyork.com.
Ross School 18 Goodfriend Drive, East Hampton 631-907-5400
ross.org
Ross School’s mission is to change how education meets the future; foster interdisciplinary, integrated thinking and innovative leadership; engage fully in the global community; and facilitate lifelong learning. Ross School is a co-educational boarding (grades 7–12, postgraduate) and day school (preschool – 12th grade, postgraduate) located on two beautiful campuses in East Hampton and Bridgehampton, New York, about two hours east of New York City. Serving approximately 320 students and attracting a world-class faculty, the School offers a global, integrated curriculum with engaging courses in science, math, arts, humanities, and wellness, with opportunities for independent study, competitive athletics, extracurricular activities, and travel. The school stresses direct personal experiences, inquiry through primary sources, and hands-on interpretation and analysis of information. Ross School has a successful college placement program, with 100% of applicants receiving acceptances at competitive colleges and universities.
Fighting for NY Families
Governor Kathy Hochul offers an exclusive on school cell phone bans, child tax credits, and other family-first initiatives
By Náosha GreGG
New York State Gov. Kathy Hochul is a woman who wears many hats. When she’s not rolling out free community college for New Yorkers 25 and older while wearing her famed Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers, she’s enjoying a ferry boat ride with breathtaking views of the city she loves. Over the past year, Governor Hochul has implemented numerous bills and programs aimed at supporting New York families. Ahead, Hochul gets candid about the positive changes she’s determined to make for New York families — from cell phone bans in schools to child tax credits that would put money back in parents’ pockets.
Q: You recently banned cell phone use in all New York schools. Can you tell us more about that decision?
A: The decision came about after a journey I set forth on, and that was to try to figure out what was happening to our young people. I saw that there was a rise in cell phone use over the last decade in schools, and that coincided with the increase in addictive algorithms that were bombarding our children. They’re so anxiety-driven by this fear of missing out, and even during the school day, students are not listening to their teachers, and children are not absorbing information. I did round tables from the north country way on the Canadian border, all the way to Long Island, Western New York, and New York City. I heard the same thing. I convened schools, superintendents, principals, teachers, parents, and students. I listened to teenage girls in one high school describing the enormous pressure of being bullied, and I realized, you know what? We have to do something. And one young woman told me, “You’ve gotta save us from ourselves. We can’t put these down.”
Q: What outcome do you hope to achieve from the ban?
A: I’m energized by this. Two years ago, I
“i will continue fighting for our families because i ’ve lived that experience.”
was at a school that decided to go distractionfree. Cell phones had to be locked up in a yonder pouch at the beginning of the day; there were set ways for parents to reach their children during the day if needed. If there’s an emergency, kids could reach their parents, but not on a digital device. That school was fascinating. The results and academic outcomes were already improving. The teenagers I spoke to said they have friends in person, and there’s noise in the hallways. They’re talking to each other at lunchtime, and they feel so much more liberated. They feel like kids again.
I know what we’re going to do here is going to be profound. There will be some challenges because change is hard, but we’re breaking an addiction. I’m working with parents and telling them to start winding the kids down this summer, have cell phone-free days in their home, and get them acclimated to the idea.
For two years, we’ve been promoting “Get Offline, Get Outside” and investing in swimming pools, summer youth programs, and community centers, as well as promoting our parks and outdoor life. We’re letting the kids know there’s a whole other world outside, sitting in their bedroom all summer long and staring at their cell phone.”
Q: The ban is part of a larger initiative to address mental health in teenagers. What impact does screen time have on our kids, and what signs should parents look for?
A: The mental health of our kids is far worse than when I was growing up or even when my kids were growing up. We are getting higher than expected rates of suicide, suicidal
thoughts, depression, and anxiety — even from very young ages. I was in an elementary school, and the nurse told me that they have very young children, even from first grade, who are starting to need healthcare services. We cannot let this happen. Protecting our kids’ mental health is everything to me because I’ve seen how hard it is on my nieces and nephews, family members, and friends. I know how bad it has been for our kids, and it has to stop.
Q: You recently proposed a child tax credit to help ease the financial burden on New Yorkers. Why was this such an important bill for you to pass?
A: Affordability is one of my top priorities. When I put together my State of the State address in January, I leaned hard into my strong message: ‘your family is my fight.’
I understand the stress families, especially young parents, are going through. I lived through that. I lived at a time when I couldn’t find child care. My babies were born, and I had to leave my job. My husband was working for the government, so our income went down by half, and we struggled. I went to the store trying to buy discount diapers and formula, my hand clutching coupons, hoping that we could get through another week. It was hard on us. I know what it was like to sacrifice.
Parents today are seeing kids outgrow everything so fast, so I said, ‘How can I take off some of that stress on young families?’ When I first became governor, we didn’t have a child tax credit for children under age 4. As a mom, that is one of the most expensive times in their lives. They outgrow everything so fast, and they’re not eating regular food; everything is expensive. So we decided to give $1,000 to every family with children under age four, and $500 for children ages 5 through 16. That’s money back in families’ pockets.
Another part of our affordability agenda is an inflation rebate. I walked through Target’s back-to-school shopping last year, but this year, I see moms comparing prices on everything, from sneakers and backpacks to clothes.
It is hard. So $400 back for families making less than $150,000 is to help them pay for those back-to-school products their kids need.
Some people just can’t get ahead, and I will continue fighting for our families because I’ve lived that experience.
Q: What other support systems are out there for New Yorkers who may be struggling financially?
A: Another big driver of costs of living is utility bills, so we have programs to help cover the costs of utility bills for families. For people who want to change their circumstances, better themselves, and be able to support their families more fully by getting an education, we’re covering the full cost of community college tuition for ages 25 to 55. I’m building more affordable housing to help open up opportunities for more people to have a safe roof over their heads. We have more to do, but I have been to projects from Gowanus up to Buffalo, and when I see a family a formerly
unhoused mom with her teenage kids opening up the door for the first time and hand them the key, the look on their face is just beautiful. We’re trying to hit all those pressure points.
Q: You recently announced a $300 million healthcare fund for New Yorkers. What kind of health concerns are you hoping to address?
A: Our hospitals and community health providers are the first places people go when they don’t have a primary care doctor. Every person has the right to healthcare. We’re making these investments to build up the infrastructure and cover those costs for our healthcare institutions.
At the same time, we have the Trump administration cutting Medicaid, which is going to devastate so many hospitals statewide. That’s what we’re fighting against healthcare workers losing their jobs and people having to survive without guaranteed healthcare.
That’s scary for a parent. Your child getting sick is your worst nightmare. This money will help stabilize our healthcare institutions and make sure they’re there when people need them.
Q: What can New York families expect from the Hochul administration for the remainder of this year and next?
A: Well, we’ll save that as a surprise for our next State of the State. We’re developing it now, but I assure you that public safety and affordability will continue to be the drivers of that. We’re not done yet. Families are still struggling, and that is my mission as someone who, again, can relate.
Specifically, I know how expensive childcare is, especially because of my own upbringing and my early years as a mom and a grandma. We’ve talked about universal childcare. We’ll be hearing more details about that and how it is going to play out. It’s critically important to give a lifeline to our parents.
Photos courtesy of the Office of Governor Kathy Hochul
There Is No One Right Way to Give Birth
OB/GYN Dr. Jessica Vernon’s new book tries to relieve the pressure
If you’ve ever made a birth plan — or even just scrolled through birth stories on social media — you know how easy it is to feel like there’s a “right” way to give birth.
In this honest and deeply reassuring excerpt from her new book Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood , OB/GYN (and New York mom of two!) Dr. Jessica Vernon reminds us that birth doesn’t always go according to plan — and that’s okay. She shares real talk from her years of working with families, plus a bit of her own story, to help expecting parents feel more prepared, more supported, and less pressured to have the “perfect” birth.
Whether you’re a first-time parent or just need a gentle reminder, Dr. Jessica Vernon’s message is one we all need to hear: there’s no one right way to give birth.
Ionce heard a hospital consultant say that labor and delivery is a cross between a wedding and an emergency room. Just like on a wedding day, you might have a vision for how things will go in a perfect, idealized state, but often things do not go according to plan. It can be disappointing if you are not prepared for all of the possible ways and reasons your birth experience may not reflect what you envisioned. The truth is this: there’s no right way to give birth; there are only preferences. If you do make a birth plan, make a plan that is flexible and give yourself compassion when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes this means small changes, such as birth parents deciding they want an epidural, or big changes, such as needing an emergency C-section. I have seen many birth parents so set on accomplishing their ideal birth goals that when things do not go according to plan, they feel like failures as parents and as people
whose bodies are supposed to “intuitively know what to do.” I always try to help my patients truly believe that every birth is sacred in its own right, no matter how it happens. The goal is a safe and healthy baby and birth parent.
Birth experiences are often shared and publicized across social media. In the best cases, this celebration of birth has helped many women overcome their fears and feel empowered. But it can also lead to a greater sense of judgment and loneliness if you feel your birth experience differs from what you see online. There are images all over social media of women having unmedicated home births, often referred to as “natural births,” as if giving birth any other way is not natural. These birth stories are wonderful, but they are only one type of birth story. The idealized images run the risk of making you feel that if you are unable to achieve an
unmedicated birth or even a vaginal birth, you are a failure.
The truth is that all births can be empowering and beautiful. I was extremely humbled during labor with my first daughter. I had such intense back pain with my contractions that I asked for pain medication when I was only two centimeters dilated. I definitely felt that I must be weak because I could not tolerate the contractions when I was not even in active labor. I never did get into active labor and I share more of my birth story later—however, I will say I was extremely grateful for morphine sedation and my epidural, even though my initial goal (due mostly to the fact that I wanted to prove myself capable in a society where this was idealized, not because it was actually a personal imperative) was to have an unmedicated birth.
I often see patients who come into the
office or to labor and delivery with very detailed birth plans. It’s hard to articulate to someone I have just met that although I’ll try my best to do everything the way they envision, expectations often don’t meet reality. I don’t want to come across as one of those doctors who will move quickly toward interventions, effectively taking away the birth person’s autonomy, so unless I have already gained the patient’s trust, I do not voice everything that I am thinking. So here it is, unfiltered and honest: there is a good chance your labor and birth will not go exactly as you have envisioned. That doesn’t mean it can’t be good.
Birth Plans Are Really Birth Preferences
Birth plans, which I prefer to call “birth preferences” or “birth wishes,” are comprehensive documents stating how the birth par-
“Create a birth plan that leaves room for flexibility and surprises, rank the importance of the elements of your birth plan, and give yourself compassion when things don’t go as planned.”
ent prefers to give birth. There are countless examples of birth plans online, and your care provider or hospital may also have sample documents for you to use. The amount of detail and focus on specific areas of the experience varies among different birth plans. I do not have a particular birth plan template that I love, so I recommend looking at a few to familiarize yourself with them and then asking your provider about any language in the plan that you do not understand. A patient once brought me a birth plan and had checked all of the aspects that she had heard an influencer on Instagram say she should check, including a lotus birth, which neither of us even understood. When I Googled it, I saw that it meant keeping the placenta attached to the baby for weeks after birth until the umbilical cord shriveled and detached. Once I explained this to the patient, she immediately told me she definitely did not want that and would prefer to go home with her baby without the afterbirth in tow.
All birth plans include details regarding the ambiance while laboring and giving birth, such as who will be in the room, how you prefer the birthing environment, if you want pain control during labor and birth, what type of labor augmentation and interventions you are okay with and which you want to avoid, immediate care of your baby after birth, and whether or not you would like to breastfeed/chestfeed. Birth plans are wonderful in that they can empower you to think about your goals and priorities, as well as decrease your anxiety around your birth experience before it happens. It can help the care team to provide person-centered care. However, they can also lead to expectations that often do not match reality. Just remember that ultimately there’s no right way to give birth, and there is no way to completely control your birth process, so create a birth plan that leaves room for flexibility and surprises, rank the importance of the elements of your birth plan, and give yourself compassion
when things don’t go as planned.
Although it’s wonderful to have an idea about how you want to birth your baby, the perfect birth cannot be planned. Plus, there are many circumstances under which your goals and preferences may change. Being too rigid in your plans makes it harder for you to negotiate these changes with yourself and your support team. Incorporate some flexibility in your birth plan to allow for the unknown. And develop self-compassion around your body and your birth so that if things go off course, you do not see it as a failure.
Dr. Jessica Vernon, MD, PMH-C, is a BoardCertified OB/GYN who has cared for and supported thousands of people throughout their reproductive journeys over the past 15 years. She is the associate medical director and director of mental health at Oula, a midwifery-based women’s health startup in New York City. As a mom of two, she brings her lived experience with the transition to parenthood to her work. She has a deep passion for providing holistic, people-centered, culturally humble care and has developed programs to increase access to perinatal mental health care and improve health equity. She has received professional recognition and has been quoted in the media for both her work and expertise in the field, as well as her openness in sharing her own story. She also serves on the board of directors for Postpartum Support International. Then Comes Baby is her first book. Find her online at drjessicavernon.com and on Instagram @dr.jessicavernon
Excerpted from Then Comes Baby by Dr. Jessica Vernon. Copyright © 2025 Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. Reprinted with permission from Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. New York, NY. All rights reserved.
calendar
BY SHARA LEVINE
ROCKLAND
New York Renaissance Faire
WHEN: Aug. 17-Oct. 6, Saturdays and Sundays, 10 am – 7 pm
WHERE: New York
Renaissance Faire, 600 State Route 17A, Tuxedo Park
AGES: All
WHAT: Visit a beautiful 16th-century English village to cheer for your favorite knight at the Joust Tournament, feast on savory sweets and tempting treats, see amazing acrobats, and more!
WANT TO GO?: $48; $43 senior 62 and older and Military; $20 ages 5-12. renfair. com
SeptemberFest Street Fair
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 7, 10 am – 5 pm
WHERE: Main St. and Broadway, Nyack
AGES: All
WHAT: This special event features 200 vendors, live entertainment, great food, and outdoor dining.
WANT TO GO?: Free. nyackchamber.org
15th Annual Highlands Bluegrass Music & Crafts Festival
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 7, 1 – 5 pm
WHERE: Jacob Sloat House, 15 Liberty Rock Road, Sloatsburg
AGES: All
WHAT: This annual festival features three great bands, food, beverages, and craft vendors!
WANT TO GO?: $15-$20; $5 ages 12-17; free for children under age 12. friendsofharmonyhall.org
Butterfly Day
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 13, 10 am – 3:30 pm
WHERE: Hudson Highlands Nature Center Outdoor Discovery Campus, 120 Muser Drive, Cornwall
AGES: All
WHAT: Spend time in the butterfly tent to meet these winged wonders, along with moths and caterpillars, and discover their beauty and incredibly unique qualities!
WANT TO GO?: $14. 845-534–5506, hhnaturecenter.org
Suffern Street Fair
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 14, 10 am – 5 pm
WHERE: Lafayette Ave., Suffern
AGES: All
WHAT: Stroll through Suffern
while enjoying live music, food and craft vendors, karaoke, and more. Be sure to stop by the Kids Zone for bounce house fun, a twisty maze, and a thrilling slide!
WANT TO GO?: Free. Fee for Kids Zone. suffernchamber.org
Haverstraw Crawl Eats and Beats
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 14, 1 – 5 pm
WHERE: Begins at Webster Bank, 38 New Main St., Haverstraw
AGES: All
WHAT: Taste your way through downtown Haverstraw while listening to live music and having fun at the Kids’ Corner
with Lali the Clown, balloon twisting, lawn games, and more.
WANT TO GO?: Free admission. haverstrawriverwidearts.org
Brick-A-Palooza
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 20, 10 am – 4 pm
WHERE: Jawonio, 260 N. Little Tor Road, New City
AGES: 3 and up
WHAT: Celebrate creativity, community, and inclusion with live music, food trucks, and tons of building bricks!
WANT TO GO?: $10; $5 ages 6-12; free for children 5 and younger. (845) 839–7032, brickitagain.org
Fiesta Latina in Haverstraw
Biodiversity Celebration
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 20, 11 am – 3 pm
WHERE: Trailside Museum and Zoo at Bear Mountain State Park, 3006 Seven Lakes Drive, Bear Mountain
AGES: All
WHAT: Participate in fun educational activities while learning what you can do to promote biodiversity and help plants and animals in their habitats.
WANT TO GO?: $1 suggested donation. trailsidemuseumsandzoo.org
Magical Princess Brunch
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 21, 10 am – 3 pm
WHERE: Bear Mountain Inn, 3020 Seven Lakes Drive, Tomkins Cove
AGES: All
WHAT: Treat your little ones to a royal experience filled with delicious food, enchanting princesses, and memories your kids will surely cherish.
WANT TO GO?: $54; $30 ages 4-12; free for children 3 and younger. An additional $15 for VIP package. visitbearmountain.com
Fiesta Latina
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 27, 12 – 2 pm
WHERE: Haverstraw King’s Daughters Public Library Village Branch, 85 Main St., Haverstraw
AGES: 5 and older
WHAT: Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with dancing
by Anna de la Paz, music, crafts, and food!
WANT TO GO?: This program is free of charge. 845-429–3445, haverstrawlibrary.org
BERGEN
Elmwood Park’s Community Day Festival
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 6, 11 am – 5 pm
WHERE: Mola Boulevard and Market St., Elmwood Park
AGES: All
WHAT: This giant block party
offers live music, games, kiddie rides, food, giveaways, and plenty of shopping!
WANT TO GO?: Free Admission. 201-998–1144, jcpromotions.info
Apple Cider Making
WHEN: Sept. 7-Oct. 19, Sundays, 2 pm and 3:30 pm
WHERE: Tenafly Nature Center, 313 Hudson Ave. Tenafly
AGES: All
WHAT: Learn about the history of apple cultivation and cider making, and experience one of the original ways of making fresh apple cider.
WANT TO GO?: $12. 201-568–6093, tncnj.org
Danny Go!
WHEN: Friday, Sept. 12, 5 pm
WHERE: NJPAC, 1 Center St., Newark
AGES: All
WHAT: Kids will move, groove, laugh, and learn at this actionpacked dance party with YouTube star Danny Go!
WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $47.60. 888-696–5722, njpac. org
Lee Memorial Library’s Second Annual Family Day FUNdraiser
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 13, 10
am – 2 pm
WHERE: Crestwood Park, 300 W Cres Ave., Allendale
AGES: All
WHAT: Help raise money for the Library while enjoying an array of entertainment and activities, including games, kids’ yoga, crafts, a photo booth, and live performances.
WANT TO GO?: $10. leememoriallibrary.org
Open Cockpit Days
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 13, 10:30 am – 4 pm
WHERE: The New Jersey Aviation Hall of Fame, 400 Fred Wehran Drive, Teterboro
AGES: All
WHAT: This is your chance to sit in the cockpit of a rare Lockheed Bushmaster plane, a U.S. Coast Guard Rescue Helicopter, and an Airport Rescue Firefighter Truck!
WANT TO GO?: $20; $15 seniors 65 and older; $12 children 3-12; free for children 2 and under. njahof.org
Mud Run
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 14, 10 am, 10:30 am & 11 am
WHERE: Van Saun County Park, 216 Forest Ave., Paramus AGES: 5 and up
WHAT: Dash through woods,
New York Renaissance Faire
Apple Cider Making at Tenafly Nature Center
calendar SEPTEMBER
climb over hay bales, crawl under ropes, and slide into puddles, all while supporting the Friends of Bergen County Zoo!
WANT TO GO?: Registration starts at $40. friendsofbergencountyzoo.org
Allendale Festival Day
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 20, 12 – 4 pm
WHERE: West Allendale Ave., Allendale
AGES: All
WHAT: Celebrate Fall with live music, clowns, community organizations, exhibits, face painting, food, games, Kids’ Zone, arts & crafts, vendors, and caricatures.
WANT TO GO?: Free. allendalenjchamber.org
Edison’s Fall Family Spectacular Street Fair
WHEN: Saturday, Sept. 27, 1 – 9 pm
WHERE: Held Along Amboy Ave. 1011 Amboy Ave., Edison, NJ
AGES: 3 and up
WHAT: Explore over eight blocks of food trucks, crafts, exhibitors, live entertainment, and the Kids Traveling Shindig, featuring inflatables and game trailers.
WANT TO GO?: Free Admission. (201) 998–1144, jcpromotions.info
Music Fest 2025
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 28, 10 am – 5:30 pm
WHERE: Glen Rock Borough Hall, 1 Harding Plaza, Glen Rock
AGES: All
WHAT: This all-day event celebrates and recognizes the local music scene around Glen Rock with local musicians performing a variety of styles and genres.
WANT TO GO?: Free. artscouncilgr.org
CoComelon: Sing-A-Long LIVE
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 28, 1 pm and 5 pm
WHERE: Bergen Performing Arts Center, 30 North Van Brunt St., Englewood AGES: 5 and younger
WHAT: Dance and sing along with JJ, Nina, Cody, Cece, and all of their friends to some of your favorite bops, including “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” and “Wheels on the Bus.”
WANT TO GO?: $29-$69. 201227–1030, bergenpac.org
NYC
The Feast of San Gennaro
WHEN: Sept. 11-21, Daily. See website for complete schedule.
WHERE: Mulberry St., Little Italy
AGES: All
WHAT: This iconic event stretches throughout 11 blocks of the Little Italy neighborhood, celebrating Italian culture and traditions.
WANT TO GO?: Free. sangennaronyc.org
S56th Annual African American Day Parade
WHEN: Sunday, Sept. 21, 12:30 – 6 pm
WHERE: 111th St. – 136th St. at Adam Clayton Powell Jr. Blvd., Harlem
AGES: All
WHAT: Celebrate African American culture at this festive parade featuring marching bands, majestic floats, community organizations, celebrities, and more!
WANT TO GO?: Free. africanamericandayparade.org
Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas Light Trail
WHEN: Sept. 25-Nov. 30, Wednesdays – Sundays, see website for schedule
WHERE: New York Botanical Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd., Jerome Park
AGES: All
WHAT: Join Jack Skellington, Sally, and Zero for a frightfully fun frolic through the world of the beloved film, now featuring even more of your favorite characters, scenes, and songs.
WANT TO GO?: Tickets start at $33. 718-817–8700, thenightmarebeforechristmaslighttrail.com
Harvest Glow
WHEN: Sept. 25-Oct. 31, Thursdays – Sundays, 7 pm, 8 pm, and 8:30 pm
WHERE: Bronx Zoo, 2300 Southern Blvd., Crotona
AGES: All
WHAT: Follow an animalthemed illuminated Jack O’ Lantern Trail, explore Dinosaur Safari at night, and enjoy live pumpkin carving, Wildlife Theater, new games, and more. WANT TO GO?: $35; $25 ages 3-12. bronxzoo.com
CoComelon: Sing-A-Long LIVE at Bergen Performing Arts Center
Butterfly Day at Hudson Highlands Nature Center
PALISADES CENTER
TRU N K O R TREAT CE LEBRAT IO N
O CT OB ER 25 / 4–6 P.M.
