Scan Magazine | Humour | Columns
IS IT JUST ME…
By Mette Lisby
Who this Christmas started to question the concept of Santa? An old man showing up out of nowhere (or at least in Scandinavia he does – show up in person, that is!), insisting children sit on his lap, obsessed with whether anybody has been ‘naughty’? Creepy, right? In my family at least, the youngest generation shares my view. This is in contrast to Santa’s very successful visit to my sister’s house last year. That he bore a strange resemblance to my sister’s husband went unnoticed by my five-year-old niece and nephew. They could hardly contain themselves with joy when Santa arrived, my niece literally jumping up and down with excitement during the whole ten-minute visit. This year, we wanted to prepare their younger brother for the fun of Christmas, so we showed the video of Santa’s visit to the toddler boy, and this is where things took an unexpected turn. He screamed with horror. And that did not change, no matter how many times my sister tried to tell him that Santa was good.
Hoping to rectify this, we brought him to an event that boasted a ‘visit from Santa’. The toddler started crying the minute he saw him – but just as my sister turned the stroller to take him home, he eyed Santa’s bags of sweets, and you could immediately see his dilemma: facing the biggest fear in his young life – but for sweets. This, I would argue, would provide a good insight into who this young man is: is he a go-getter, brave enough to face his worst fears to go and get what he really wants? Or is he a healthy young man with boundaries, concluding that no temptations from the outside world are worth compromising on your inner voice, telling you to get the hell out of there? Of course, he could also just be a calculating, lazy kid, thinking ‘nahhh, if it’s too much of an effort, I’ll just wait – I’ll get sweets later at home anyway’. It was actually pretty amazing to watch him in that moment. Shaking with fear, tears streaming down his cheeks, he went
2019 2018 started with Storm Eleanor in January and did not really slow down after that. As a European in the UK, 2019 is likely to bring more storms and some complicated uncertainties. Will I stay or will I go? If I do go back to Sweden, how would I cope with readjusting? Some things that I would welcome back into my life: salty liquorice, doors that open outwards, taps that do both hot and cold water, snow at Christmas. What would I miss about England? The list is too long. I moved to the UK when I was 15 – a morbidly timid, chubby-faced loser with absolutely zero interest in starting afresh. Out of sheer necessity, I tried to adjust, taking on a weird Swedish/Kentish accent, learning how to tie a school tie, then slowly making friends through a shared love of The X-files. If you have ever moved country, you will
to Santa and got a bag of sweets. For all other kids, it is a sad day when they realise Santa is not real. For my nephew, it was a traumatic day when he realised that he is. Mette Lisby is Denmark’s leading female comedian. She invites you to laugh along with her monthly humour columns. Since her stand-up debut in 1992, Mette has hosted the Danish version of Have I Got News For You and Room 101.
By Maria Smedstad
However, once you feel accepted into a new society, it is hard not to fall in love. It took me a while, but I got there in the end, and now, of course, I am head over heels. Can you love two places at the same time? Of course you can. Can that kind of love be undone? My wish for 2019 is that none of us will have to find out.
know how difficult it can be. No matter how lovely the new place is, there will be moments when you find yourself standing in a post office, or at a petrol station, feeling completely out of your depth. Which counter do you go to, how does the pump work, what is that food?!
Maria Smedstad moved to the UK from Sweden in 1994. She received a degree in Illustration in 2001, before settling in the capital as a freelance cartoonist, creating the autobiographical cartoon Em. Maria writes a column on the trials and tribulations of life as a Swede in the UK.
Issue 120 | January 2019 | 101