Preparing our Kids, Preparing our Hearts

Preparing our Kids, Preparing our Hearts A 1 0- DAY FAMI LY D E VOTI ONA L

INTRODUCTION Another glorious year at Regents is at hand! Soon the plaza will be full of friendly and eager faces, old friends will reconnect and new friendships will begin! In that spirit, I want to invite you to join with our entire community in walking through this devotional. Community does not just happen by accident, it happens when we appeal to the common truth we share in God’s word and live it out together. Each day focuses on a different aspect of a healthy community and features questions for meditation and conversation with your kids. Our prayer is that by guiding your family through these ten days, we would show up on the plaza as one, ready to serve Christ and one another on the Regents campus.

Kirk Avery Director of Advancement

a transformed community Kirk Avery, Director of Advancement Romans 12:2 A transformed community is one made of individuals, each continually captivated by the cost and profound power of the cross.

Like all of us, communities have filled my life - family, fraternity, church, and so on. Some have influenced, others served to shape, but the most important communities have transformed. Isn’t that in part why many of us have chosen the Regents community? For the hope that beyond education, our kids would be in a place that is not merely a “good influence,” but is transformational.

What about us, the parents? We desire transformational community for our kids, why would we be satisfied with anything less for ourselves? How then do we strive to make a community that is transformational for moms and dads too?

We are not left to wonder. Romans 12:2 is clear about how transformation takes place: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

To conform or be transformed is the question. Here’s the rub: being conformed to the world takes little effort - when swimming, you don’t have to try to get wet. Being immersed in cultural waters changes our hearts and desires bit by bit over time. Transformation on the other hand requires intentionality.

Renewing my mind requires consistent and deep exposure to God’s word. For many the picture of baptism is one of immersion, submerging completely under water and raised to life, clean and new.

Knowing there are one million competing messages for my mind daily (music, social media, podcasts, news sources, etc.), renewing my mind to what is good, true, and beautiful is necessary if I am to spiritually thrive.

All of this works from the inside out. A transformational community is a community inhabited by individuals who are continually being transformed by the renewing power of God’s word.

Renewing your mind towards transformation will not happen outside your involvement (not just attendance) in the church. To supplement (not replace) studying scripture, You Are What You Love from James K.A. Smith and Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster are excellent.

As a community, we provide opportunities like Dads Boot Camp (August 26), Regents Speaker Series (this year features Dr. Ed Welch, Dr. Christopher Yuan, and Raising Boys and Girls), Moms for Moms event (February 3), Regents Mens Lunch, and more to assist in renewing your mind.

Reflection Questions for You • What is the difference between being a part of a community and a transformational community?

• If you take an honest inventory of your life, how have you seen yourself conform to the pattern of this world?

• How has reading the cost and power of the cross re-warmed your heart to Jesus?

Reflection Questions for Kids • Is your circle of friends a group that sharpens you or makes you dull? How can you be one who sharpen others?

• Have you ever thought of what it cost Jesus to bring us into a relationship with Him? • How would you feel if you were called to come to the principal’s office? To meet the President? To stand before God? Would it change the way you feel to know that God desires for you to ‘come near’ and provides the way through Christ?

a GODWARD community Dan Peterson, Head of School 1 Corinthians 10:31; Colossians 3:12-17; and Jude 3 As a community of Christians, we are called to a distinct, eternal telos that is God-centered. What does it mean to live together in a biblical community? Our hope is that these series of devotionals will be used by you to lead your family and that this would benefit you personally and corporately within your church community and the Regents community.

This devotional guide is one of several efforts to point our families to the Lord, encourage them in their relationship with God, and help them understand the roles and responsibilities we all have in furthering the Kingdom through our relationships with one another.

I was at midfield of the soccer field on the campus of Carson-Newman late at night and could not get my emotions under control. No one was around. I was only a few months into college. Being a college soccer player had been humbling. Athletics were hard. Academics were not starting off so great. I had just ended a relationship. And yet, as hard as this moment was for me, it was a turning point, an inflection point that led to growth that eventually set a new trajectory for my life.

Most of my 18-year-old life I had been self-sufficient and able to work hard to achieve. At this point, my hard work seemed to only produce mediocrity and heart break. I was broken and humbled. My mom recognized I was in a hard spot and took me out to dinner that night. I knew my parents were there for me, but I knew it was time for my faith to for me to begin to take my faith to a new level. Some things needed to change in my life. She dropped me off back on campus and I headed to the soccer field, my safe haven.

That night, I realized it was never about me or what I could do. From that point forward, I began some spiritual disciplines of reading Scripture, praying, and talking about the Word with others.

You see, my orientation was on myself. Just the practice of reading Scripture on a regular basis changed my mind and heart to see and savor God. As time went on, my priorities completely changed direction. I realized my salvation in Christ was both individual and corporate. Once we are saved, we are given new hearts. The telos of our lives change, and we realize we exist to bring glory to God and enjoy Him forever.

A part of spiritual growth is living in community. Inside this community, we have been given gifts to be blessed as well as to bless others. Our calling in Christ gives us a different life trajectory and a different orientation that we live unto and for. We are called to live a Godward life. Let’s see what Scripture has to say...

When the apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” This is life changing! Every aspect of our life can bring glory of God. When the apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 2:8-10, “By grace we have been saved through faith. And this is not our own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” This is life changing!

God doesn’t save us based on what we can bring to the table for Him. We cannot boast. We are God’s created expression. We are creating in Christ for good works, and God has prepared those good works long ago that we walk in them today. WOW! When the apostle Paul writes in Colossians 3:12-17, Paul calls us to put on the Virtues of Christ: “ Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

This is life changing! What a word of calling us to a high standard, being willing and able in Christ to forgive others, being thankful, and once again, hence our theme – a Godward community. Whatever we do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God. Lastly, Jude 3 states, “Beloved, although I was very eager to write you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.” This is life changing! This word reminds us about our common salvation and the need to contend for the faith once for all delivered to the saints.

Reflection Questions for You • What are your chief priorities?

• What habits, practices, disciplines are in your life that are forming your priorities?

• Do you have a rhythm of spiritual disciplines – Scripture reading, prayer, meditation, fasting, giving, and service?

• What would it practically look like for a community of believers to have a Godward orientation?

Reflection Questions for Kids • Who is God? • Why did God create you?

• Read Ephesians 2:8-10. What do these verses say about God? What do these verses say about you?

a TRUTH TELLING community Ronnie Long, Head of Grammar Romans 12:9-21 Believers approach difficult conversations (parent to parent, parent to school, school to parent) in love as an act of love Romans 12:9-21 ~ ­ “Let love be genuine…Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them…Live in harmony with one another…Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Living in community is not always easy. There are times when we are going to hurt or disappoint one another. Since this is true, what do we do when conflict arises, or we have wronged someone, or been wronged by someone? In the passage above, the Apostle Paul (echoing the words of Christ) calls us to respond in love. This is the narrow path mentioned by Christ in the Gospels. It is easy to repay evil for evil, but it requires the grace of God to respond to maltreatment with love. Paul says very similar words in another passage: Galatians 5:13-15 ~ “...through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”

When conflict arises and we must confront one another, what governing principles do we look to help guide our conversations? There are at least three that can be gleaned from these words of the Apostle Paul - love, mercy, and peace.

Our words must be motivated by love for our neighbor rooted in Christ. We have to do the hard work of learning to “love our neighbor as ourselves.” This leads to extending mercy, which is what Paul is hinting at with the acts of mercy mentioned in Romans 12. Finally, as brothers and sisters in Christ we are called to aim for peace. This is our goal.

Our world teaches us to have different goals. It tells us that we must win at all costs, that if we are wronged we must make sure and get what we think we deserve. Paul reminds us that this is the way that leads to death. This is what he means in Galatians when he warns us to be careful not to devour and consume one another. The world is a culture of consumption and death. The Kingdom of God is a culture of life and love.

When we are at odds with one another as we live our faith out in community, it is life and love that should be our aim. This is hard and requires that we listen, apologize, make amends, seek reconciliation,

forgive, pray, and extend mercy. It also means our conversations should be seasoned with grace and the desired outcome should be peace.

Reflection Questions: • Describe a time when you were wronged or when you wronged someone else. How did you respond?

Have you made peace?

• Why is it so hard for us to put these words into practice?

a serving community Stephen Steiner, Head of Logic John 13:34-35, Matthew 20:20-28 When God transforms our hearts through the finished work of Jesus Christ, by faith, we are adopted into the covenant family of believers, and our lives are never the same- His mission becomes our mission.

Therefore, we link arms with other Christ-followers by serving others.

In John 13, one of the most climactic passages in all of Holy Scripture, we see Jesus in one of His final acts before heading to the cross. On the night in which He would be betrayed while sharing a final meal together with His closest friends, Jesus sees that they need another lesson, another vivid display of His love, and an example to follow– He humbly serves them by washing their feet. The chapter ends with a command… “love one another, just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (v34,35).

In a society that encourages radical individualism and confuses greatness with success and status, even we as followers of Jesus fall prey to the temptations to crave recognition and honor for our achievements.

We see this in Matthew 20:20-28 when the mother of James and John asks Jesus for a place of honor for her sons in the kingdom of heaven, wanting each of them to be remembered as successful disciples and seen by others as great. Instead of serving the kingdom of heaven, it is far too easy to build and serve our own individual little kingdoms, hoping to make a name for ourselves. We have been given the perfect and humble example of true greatness in the life of Jesus Christ, who “came not to be served, but to serve .”(v28) In his book, Schools As Communities, Dr. James Drexler explains the philosophical background for why schools are to create vibrant learning communities that emphasize strong relationships and the pursuit of mercy and justice. Established to holistically develop people bearing the very image of God, schools have the opportunity to influence and transform culture, in part through their unity as communities that serve.

A school community of Christ followers saved by grace through faith in the finished work of Jesus, follows in His steps, with renewed hearts that are quick to serve those around us, whether at Regents or elsewhere in our city. May we link arms by serving others for His glory, for the good of others, and towards the shalom of the city to which He has called us (Jeremiah 29:7).

Reflection Questions: • How did being reminded of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ make a difference for you?

• How is God drawing you to pray differently?

• Where may God be calling you to serve more intentionally?

• Where may God be asking you to go boldly?

• What is one thing you can do to engage with and serve the Regents community?

a worshiping community Josh Simmons, Head of Rhetoric Psalm 133 There is no true life not lived in praise of God ­— whether in the family, the school, the church, etc.

Psalm 133 ~ Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.

“What life have you, if you have not life together? / There is not life that is not in community, And no community not lived in praise of GOD. / Even the anchorite who meditates alone, For whom the days and nights repeat the praise of GOD, Prays for the Church, the Body of Christ incarnate.”

— T.S. Eliot, Choruses from The Rock Communities (‘common unity’) are literally places formed by the sustained attention of a group of people on a particular object or idea. This is true of families, martial arts gyms, classrooms, whole schools, and of course churches. Regents is a community of families united in the shared desire for students to receive a Christ-centric, virtue-filled, knowledge-rich, and wisdom-deep education that will prepare them for this life and the life to come. Above Eliot points out that the true purpose of every human community is to both mirror the ideal community of the Triune God and to sustain praise to our Creator and Redeemer.

We all worship something. We all spend our time and attention on some idea, person, or thing. And one of the remarkable things about it is that, the more time we spend with or on something, the more like that we become. If I spend a lot of time listening to a preacher, political commentator, or comedian, I will start to pick up turns of phrase, maybe even their particular inflection. We literally become what we behold. Many years ago I heard a pastor say that at the final judgment, we will either say to God ‘Thy Will Be Done’ or God will say to us ‘Thy Will Be Done.’ We will ultimately get and become that which we gave our lives to.

So what do the communities we’re part of direct our attention to? What do we truly desire and worship with others? Later in the same work, Eliot has a Jesus-esque character appear to the modern world: “When the Stranger says: “What is the meaning of this city ? / Do you huddle close together be cause you love each other?”

What will you answer? “We all dwell together / To make money from each other”? or “This is a community”?”

This is of course answered in Psalm 133 above. Notice how it moves immediately from people dwelling well together to talking about Aaron (i.e. the high priest of the Temple) and then to God Himself and His blessing. The ultimate worshiping community is the church, which is universal in time and space, but, like Jesus, takes on incarnate space in local, specific places and ways. This is the community Christ has established for the care and feeding of his people. The family is established at the beginning of humanity, made in the image and likeness of God Himself, and in the family we bear witness to the Trinity as the love of man and woman naturally overflows the bounds of those two into the creation of a third: a child, who bears their image. The school, then, as a community of families, is also a place of worship. But it is third behind the two institutions of God, the Church and the Family.

Reflection Questions: • What are you “worshiping”? Is there something you can remove time and attention from to be able to put more time and attention on God? • How can you encourage your family to put more time and attention on God?

a HUMBLE community Dane Bundy, Director of Fine Arts Matthew 18:2-5 Childlike humility is dependence upon God, and it’s the soil in which other virtues grow. The world does not value humility but Jesus says it’s necessary for entering the Kingdom.

Our culture doesn’t look highly upon humility. We can envision a humble person as someone who walks with their head low, deflects any compliments, and invites others to walk all over them. But this is not a biblical picture of humility.

Thankfully, Scripture speaks extensively about humility and offers plenty of examples of what it looks like! The most complete picture of humility is found in Jesus. Paul admonishes the Philippian church to “in humility count others more significant than ourselves” (2:3) and points them to Christ “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant...” (2:6-7). As King, Jesus could have come to be served, but he chose to serve instead, which led him to the cross. Jesus was not weak. And alongside his humility, he displayed boldness for his mission and confidence in his Father.

But humility didn’t come easily to the disciples, even though they spent lots of time with Jesus. One day they approached him and asked him who was the greatest in the Kingdom. Jesus responded by calling a child to him and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 17:3-4). The disciples were thinking of greatness in the way humans think of it, so Jesus corrected it. The beautiful thing about children is that they are dependent creatures. Young children need their parents to feed them, bathe them, defend them, etc. And it’s not hard for children to love and trust their parents, especially when they are kind and caring. So we might say the heart of biblical humility is a child-like trust in God for all our needs. God calls us to depend on him on a daily basis. I like to think of this as vertical humility, since it speaks to our relationship with God. Humility moves in two other directions. Downward humility addresses how we think of ourselves as human beings. Humility avoids the extremes: it doesn’t think too low or too high upon oneself. As Charles Spurgeon says, “Humility is the proper estimate of oneself.” We arrive at this by allowing God to define who we are, not the world around us, or even ourselves. Horizontal humility is about our relationships with other people. It’s marked by valuing others more than ourselves and setting aside our selfish ambitions; it’s a choice to act as servants towards others, not masters.

Since we don’t live in vacuums, our character affects our surrounding communities. I’ve encountered many people who are truly humble. They don’t always look the same from the outside: some speak a lot and others don’t; some are extroverts and others introverts. But they’re bold for the Kingdom, modeling a simple trust in God, a true concern for others, and a realistic picture of who they are. I’ve noticed that a wake follows them too, stirring waves of joy and peace. I long to follow in their footsteps. And my prayer is that we might continue growing together in humility for the glory of God and the blessings of others.

Reflection Questions for You: • Can you think of someone who models biblical humility? How do you see it manifest itself in the three directions: vertical, downward, and horizontal?

Reflection Questions for Kids: • What does humility toward God, others, and oneself look like on the playground, athletic field, classroom, or stage? Can you think of people around you who are humble?

More passages about humility: James 4:6-10; Philippians 2:3-8; 2 Chronicles 7:13-15; Matthew 23:2-12; 1 Peter 5:6; 2 Corinthians 8:9; Deuteronomy 8:2-3; Colossians 3:12-13; Jeremiah 9:23-24.

a UNIFIED community Sheila Henderson, Athletic Director Philippians 2:3-4 Biblical unity is people coming together, supporting one another, and living in harmony, support, and love, working for the greater good of all.

From a biblical perspective, living in a cooperative and unified community is closely tied to the principles and teachings found in the Bible. The concept of community and unity is a recurring theme throughout the Scriptures. It emphasizes the importance of people coming together, supporting one another, and living in harmony, support, and love, working for the greater good of all.

One of the fundamental principles in the Bible is to love one’s neighbor as oneself. This teaching, found in both the Old Testament (Leviticus 19:18) and the New Testament (Matthew 22:39), emphasizes the importance of showing compassion, kindness, and respect to others. In a cooperative community, individuals prioritize the well-being of their neighbors and work together to meet each other’s needs by becoming selfless.

The Bible also recognizes that people have different backgrounds, gifts, and talents. However, it also stresses the importance of unity despite these differences. 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 compares the community of believers to a body, with each member having a unique function, but all working together for the good of the whole. Living in a unified community means embracing diversity while valuing and respecting each person’s contribution.

Conflict and misunderstandings are inevitable and came be found in any community. The Bible teaches the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus outlines a process for resolving disputes within the community of believers. A cooperative community practices forgiveness and seeks to reconcile relationships when conflicts arise.

A cooperative and unified community uses Philippians 2:3-4 which encourages believers to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Living in a cooperative and unified community requires a humble and servant-hearted approach, where individuals prioritize the needs of others above their own desires.

The apostle Paul encourages believers to prioritize maintaining the unity of the Spirit in Ephesians 4:3, “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This verse has emphasizes the importance of actively striving for harmony and peace within the community of faith. It involves humility, forgiveness, and understanding, which foster cooperation and oneness among believers.

Philippians 2:3-4 encourages believers to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility

count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Living in a cooperative and unified community requires a humble and servant-hearted approach, where individuals prioritize the needs of others above their own desires.

In summary, living in a cooperative and unified community from a biblical perspective means practicing love, compassion, and forgiveness towards one another. It involves embracing diversity, sharing resources, and supporting each other through both the joys and challenges of life. Ultimately, it is about living out the values and teachings of the Bible in a communal setting, striving to create a harmonious and loving environment that reflects God’s intentions for His people.

Reflection Questions: • How can I actively contribute to building a cooperative and unified community in my home, school and community.

• What personal attitudes or behaviors do I need to work on to promote a spirit of unity and cooperation among those I interact with regularly?

a GRACIOUS community Kelly Benzon, Board Chair Psalm 103:8, Luke 6:35, Ephesians 2:8, Colossians 4:6, Ephesians 4:29-32 A gracious community gives one another the benefit of the doubt and pursues understanding when there’s conflict.

Our God is “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8). He extends grace to us even when we do not deserve it. “He is gracious to the ungrateful and the evil” (Luke 6:35). “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8).

When we are gracious toward others, we are reflecting the character of God. How should that look in our lives and in our community?

Have you ever been the target of gossip or a rumor? A few years ago, a close friend was the target of a rumor about her family. The gossip mill was rampant and the story got more salacious at every turn. No matter how much she vocalized that it was untrue, she was treated differently and felt very alone. Can you relate to this story? Have you ever felt like people were talking about you behind your back or have you helped spread a wildfire of gossip?

Paul admonishes us to “let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6). We are called to speak with graciousness and truth yet we are often tempted by the lure of gossip. How can others know our hearts when our words do not match the true spirit of God? The bible is clear how God sees those who spread rumors or gossip, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Let us be a community of graciousness and compassion for others. Let us model for our children what it looks like to speak with kindness and compassion instead of rumor and strife. Graciousness is not always easy. It takes effort, self-control and often courage. It can be especially difficult if we are feeling hurt or angry. But it is a gift from God freely given to us, and it is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can possess. When we are gracious, we are showing kindness, compassion, mercy and treating others with the same grace that God has shown us.

Reflection Questions • How has God shown you His graciousness?

• How can we be more gracious as a community?

• What could prevent you from being gracious to someone else?

• How can you overcome those challenges?

Prayer Glorious God, thank you for showing kindness and compassion to me, even when I do not deserve it.

Help me to reflect your grace in my daily life. Give me the strength to be kind, patient, and understanding to others, even when it’s difficult. Give me the compassion to see things from another’s perspective and the courage to reach out to those who need support. And Lord, help me to forgive others, just as you have forgiven me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

a TRUTHFUL community Liz Benigno, Director of Community Ephesians 6:14-18 We are guided by and informed by Truth. To be a community characterized by truth, we must be individuals who regularly engaging in the study of God’s Word.

Ephesians 6:14-18 “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.”

The belt was a crucial piece of clothing for a Roman soldier. The Roman belt was thick, heavy leather that was not only functional (it gathered your tunic), but it also carried the sword and it helped to bear the weight of the breastplate. If we are going to stand firm against the attacks of the enemy we first need the belt of truth. Why truth first? Because our enemy is the “Father of lies”(John 8:44). He shades the truth (the facts of any situation) and intends to deceive us every step of the way and at all times. Without an understanding of truth, we are left vulnerable to being carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, and by the craftiness in deceitful scheming (Ephesians 4:14).

We need to know what truth is before we can display righteousness, before we can spread the gospel of peace, or extinguish the flaming darts of the evil one.

What does this mean to our everyday lives?

A hard word here: We cannot passively rely on teachers or pastors to infuse us with the word, or more importantly, be the ones who instruct our children. In the true sense of en loco parentis it is the school or church who walks alongside us as we instruct ourselves and our families.

I grew up in a Christian tradition that didn’t include scripture memorization, and to this day, I am woefully behind in hiding God’s word in my heart. I can still vividly remember the first bible verse I memorized and how did I learn it? By having We Sing Bible Songs playing in the car when my children were little!

We can fool our kids and ourselves into believing we are walking with the Lord when they are little, but by the time they hit middle school and high school they begin to see us for who we are. If we are just talking the talk, they will notice and resent us for it, but even more importantly, question whether the truth was true all along.

If the truth matters to you, make it matter. Demonstrate to your family that knowing God’s word is the very first line of defense against the enemy. Help your kids hide God’s word in their hearts so when they hear lies they have the tools to discern lies from truth.

Reflection Questions: • Do your kids see you reading your bible?

• Are you involved in some type of bible study or small group. If so, what do you tell your kids about what you’re studying?

• Do you think your kids would say that your relationship with Jesus Christ is paramount to you?

• Have you memorized your children’s school memory verses alongside them?

• The armor of God is a great place to start when talking with your kids about what living a godly life looks like. And it’s never too late to start!

The very first scripture verse I memorized: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

— Proverbs 3:5-6

an Others-Oriented community Kati Butler, Director of Admissions 1 Corinthians 10:24, Matthew 6:31-22, Matthew 20:26-27 Looking out to the interests of others before ourselves “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others... So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.” 1 Corinthians 10: 24, 31-33 “Mine!” Our delightful and precocious first-born practically came out of the womb claiming everything was hers. A random stick, plastic water bottle, piece of mail in Mommy’s hands – you name it, she claimed “Mine!” about it all. Like most first-time parents, we were enraptured by how cute our curly haired beauty was and laughed off her proprietary screams. That is... until...her brother was born. Suddenly, our now two-year-old was no longer cute when screaming “Mine!” about her brother’s pacifier, promptly ripping it from his mouth.

In order to live together in harmony with her brother, our darling girl needed to be taught the value of selflessness. In a hard battle against her will, she had to be taught to peel back the layers of self-interest and habitually put her brother before herself. Was it easy? No, many temper tantrums could be heard on Wakefield Street in Dallas in 2012, but was it worth it? Yes. I’m proud to say our 13-year-old does not scream “Mine!” to her friends in the cafeteria.

It is very easy to see the self-focused nature of young children; they are too immature to hide their selfishness and not smart enough yet to be calculating. It is harder to guide growing young adults or even to look into our own hearts and reflect upon intentions. In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul writes that our heart behind “not seeking my own good but the good of many” is to be done so that they may be saved. When my 10-year-old wants to be the first one in line on pizza day, my job is to point him to the back and teach him to share the love of Christ by putting others first. Will he always have a happy heart about that? Honestly, likely not since he’s a big, hungry boy. But my goal should be to consistently teach him to seek the good of others in both word and actions, so that they may be saved.

As adults, being others-oriented becomes more complex; no longer are we worried about pizza lines or pacifiers. Frankly, it is pretty simple to go through life and be self-focused, to think our decisions impact no one but our selves. 1 Corinthians 10 convicts me to look at my actions in light of others – am I looking to the interest of others in such a way that I am willing to change if it causes another to stumble? Matthew 20:26 states that “. . . whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant,” and encourages us to love others enough that we serve them so that they may be saved.

How radical of a community would Regents be if we each died to ourselves daily, looked to the interest

of others, and lived authentically others-oriented while teaching our children to do the same? As my son usually gets the best piece of pizza when he’s last in the cafeteria line on Friday, I cannot imagine the outpouring of anointing and grace God would shower on us. Can we think twice before acting in a way that might cause others to stumble? Can we take a breath before responding in anger? Can we take a second before jumping at the first sign-up slot? In doing so, we will become more like Jesus, as Matthew 20:28 states, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

Reflection Questions for You • Searching your own hearts, what are a few areas in which you could peel back the layers of self-interest and look to serve others?

• Are there any actions you could “give up” or change to benefit others?

• How can you incorporate being others-focused in your parenting?

Reflection Questions for Kids • Give an example of a time when you have put someone else first. How did it make you feel?

• Give an example of a time when you have put yourself first. What would a different decision have looked like?

• What is one thing you could do this week to be others-oriented?