RAK magazine Winter 2022 Issue

The Awards and Accolades

The

Charter Schools Curriculum

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•

Matt and Abby Howard of Phoenix with their son, Griffin. Photos by Victoria E Photography LLC.

Reed Family: Jackson (9), Trent, Kate, Maverick (1) and Grayson (4).

OUR FAMILY has been living in our new house in Show Low, Arizona for four months now—just in time for my first freezing winter since I was a child. We expected colder weather than in the Valley but didn’t really appreciate the difference until we got our first snow before Halloween. We immediately ordered snow boots, warmer coats, hats, and gloves!

As the weeks ticked by, I also quickly realized that my winter coat (that was barely worn over the years!) was much too snug over my rapidly expanding belly. This had me on a quest for some warm maternity attire for the first time in a decade. I share the coat that I decided to purchase, along with some of my other favorite maternity must-haves in this issue! You’ll also find some great baby shower gift ideas and my most-loved baby items.

This winter issue also has some helpful tips about battling RSV, introducing siblings to a new baby, postpartum support for mom, and so much more for parents-to-be! To keep your family busy during this winter, learn about a local Toy Library and some book picks

for cozy reading.

We aren’t the only ones settling into a new town, though! In this issue you’ll also meet our cover family, Matt and Abby Howard (and their new addition, Griffin) who just moved to Phoenix from Hawaii. Find out about their transition to being parents, work-life balance, and how they turned social media into income for their family.

No matter where you’re spending the next few months, I hope you can take some time to spend with family, embrace New Year’s Resolutions, and find warmth in this winter season. I know for most of the winter we’ll be next to the fireplace watching the snow fall outside as I continue enjoying the last few months of my pregnancy.

Kate Reed, Publisher

Do you have a topic you would love us to write about? Email publisher@rakmagazine.com

R aising a R izona K ids magazine (ISSN 1051-4295) was created to connect Valley families to local resources and share real-life stories about the challenges and joys of raising children. Copyright © 2022 by R aising a R izona K ids, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Content guidelines are available at raisingarizonakids.com

CONTACT

KARLEY BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY

Metropolitan Arts Institute

A tuition-free charter school in Phoenix.

You already have good grades, great attendance and an appreciation for art. Now enroll in a school where you fit in, a school that appreciates you, your talents and will offer you a challenge - every day.

Metro-Arts is a tuition-free charter school for grades 7-12. Focusing on visual, performing and literary arts, college prep academics, and honors classes in a safe, closed campus with small class size.

For more information, please call Metro Arts at 602 258-9500. Apply early as spaces fill up quickly. www.metro-arts.org

FunBox Bounce Park

FUNBOX, the World’s Biggest Bounce Park is now open at the Salt River Fields at Talking Stick in Scottsdale.

This vibrant and interactive multi-zone bounce park will be open through February 2023 and offers kids a chance to go bonkers and adults to feel like a 5-year-old again!

With 25,000 square feet of continuous jumping zones and 10 different play areas including a Dodgeball Court, Battle Beam, Sumo Challenge, Ninja Challenge, Obstacle Course, 23 foot slide, Ice Climbers, Basketball, Ring Toss, Impossible Ladder, Wipeout inspired games, a giant maze, a toddler park, a DJ in a giant octopus, and so much more, there’s plenty to keep the whole family entertained. funbox.com/scottsdale

Tohono Chul Holiday Nights

AN ILLUMINATED DESERT WONDERLAND!

Holiday Nights is a timeless tradition, overflowing with holiday cheer, illuminated pathways, live entertainment, and twinkling lights. Relax as you listen to musicians and artists performing throughout the gardens, sip on hot chocolate, and enjoy festive treats!

Not finished with your holiday shopping? Peruse the Museum Shops where you can find unique gifts for that special someone or purchase a membership to Tohono Chul in Tucson.

You won’t want to miss this holiday magical event. Open to the public Friday, December 9, Saturday, December 10, Friday December 16 and Saturday, December 17 from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. For more information and to purchase tickets visit tohonochul.org/holiday-nights

TUCSON BOTANICAL GARDEN: Festival

of Illumination

TUCSON BOTANICAL GARDENS has been a holiday destination for over 30 years with their famous installation of over 3,000 luminarias. This tradition has evolved and grown, and this year you are invited to join for a new holiday show unlike any other in Tucson!

The Gardens will be transformed into a glittering wonderland of lights featuring more than a million lights, custom-built oversized installations, and pieces created by local artisans. Be dazzled by a 50’ light tunnel, choreographed cypress trees, and experience the golden world of luminarias like never before.

Festivities begin Friday, November 25th running through Sunday, January 15th, 2023 from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. For tickets and more information visit tucsonbotanical.org/event/lightsup

Photo of Bisbee is courtesy of Liam O’Shea photography. Winter scene of Bisbee is courtesy of Chuck Feil.

The Montauk in Old Town Scottsdale.

DATE NIGHT: COZY PATIO D INING

By Monique Seleen

COZY SEASON IS HERE and what better way to bask in the fresh cool air than to dine al fresco for your next date night.

Here are some local restaurants throughout the Valley with delicious food options and great outdoor patios spaces.

Diego Pops

In the heart of Old Town Scottsdale, you’ll find Diego Pops, a hip retro-style Mexican eatery with bright neon pink and green accents inside and a large outdoor patio with string lights and a cozy fireplace. Come hungry and curb your appetite with one of their tasty starters such as fresh guacamole, grilled street corn, or chicken tortilla soup while sipping on one of their eclectic margaritas such as the guava coconut, prickly pear or watermelon mint.

Choose from a variety of tacos including braised green chili chicken, al pastor, beef

machaca, charred skirt steak, braised pineapple pork, or even try one of the vegetarian options such as the grilled plantain or Brussels sprouts tacos. Make it a hearty meal by adding some cilantro rice and your choice of beans or turn any taco into a bowl!

Enjoy Taco Mondays and happy hour seven days a week from 3 p.m. until 6 p.m. for half off appetizers and drink specials. diegopops.com

The Montauk

If you’re looking for a cozy place for a romantic date night by the fire, you’ll find it in this East

coast meets West coast atmosphere at The Montauk in Old Town Scottsdale.

Feel like you’re just feet away from the ocean with their nautical décor and plenty of fresh seafood options. Start with some crispy rock shrimp or classic clam chowder. For entrees, you’ll have a variety of options for whatever mood you’re in. Try the Warm Lobster Roll with brown butter aioli dusted with chive potato chips or go for a more Mexican-inspired dish such as the Tequila Lime Shrimp bowl with asparagus, onion, avocado, and brown rice. Find some classic options too, including the House Burger, a variety of fresh seasonal salads, or short rib tacos.

With daily live music, all day happy hour on Mondays and weekend brunch, there’s always a reason to grab a spot on the patio. themontaukaz.com

Eat Up Drive In

How about a date night picnic style? Eat Up Drive In is a unique dining option in Arcadia serving up slowed cooked meals in a fastpaced manner.

Here you’ll find home-style meal options with popular dishes such as chili, cheeseburgers, or a BBQ chicken salad.

You’ll surely feel like you’re dining in the backyard while you sit outside in the quaint and shaded patio equipped with a picnic table, perfect to eat and enjoy the cooler temps. eatupdrivein.com

The Queen Creek Olive Mill

Make it a whole day’s date at the Queen Creek Olive Mill, Arizona’s only working and operating olive mill. Take an Olive Oil 101 Tour where you and your date will learn how olive oil is made, how to use it in the kitchen, and its many health benefits.

Follow it up by eating at the del Piero Kitchen where you’ll enjoy fresh, farm-to-table cuisine such as burnt mozzarella and Olive Mill pesto bruschetta, the Queen Creek Chopped salad featuring a Meyer Lemon Olive Oil vinaigrette, a variety of homemade pastas, or Roman-style pizzas. Sip on some house-made sangria, enjoy a spiked prickly pear lemonade, or order some wine by the glass.

With a large outdoor patio, choose a table that’s secluded or in the lively atmosphere. Visit on an evening with live music for some relaxing entertainment, and don’t forget to follow up your night with a sweet treat such as cupcakes and canolis made with olive oil or an assortment of gelatos. queencreekolivemill.com

Snow & Skiing DESTINATIONS

By Monique Seleen

GET YOUR SLEDS, snow shoes, and skis ready for some winter fun! The Arizona snow season typically kicks off in mid-December and can last until mid-April, depending on snowfall. Here’s everything you need to know about Arizona ski and snow destinations to check out this year.

ARIZONA NORDIC VILLAGE

16848 U.S. 180, Flagstaff 928-220-0550 • arizonanordicvillage.com

Enjoy more than 30 miles of ski and snowshoe trails suited for all skill levels at this Coconino County snow-play destination. Bring your own equipment or rent it for a small fee. Lessons are available and dogs are welcome. You can even rent a cabin or yurt for your stay. Day passes are $8-$20 and children six and under get in free!

ARIZONA SNOWBOWL

9300 N Snowbowl Rd, Flagstaff 928-779-1951 • arizonasnowbowl.com

Located just north of Flagstaff at 9,500 feet above sea level, Arizona Snowbowl offers 40 trails across 777 acres for skiers and snowboarders of all skill levels. Lodging, lessons and equipment rentals are available.

MOUNT LEMMON SKI VALLEY

10300 Ski Run Road, Mount Lemmon 520-576-1321 • skithelemmon.com

The 22 ski trails scattered across 200 snow-covered acres can accommodate all skill levels. Ski lifts will quickly bring you to the top of Mount Lemmon’s 9,000foot summit for more downhill fun. This site rents skis and snowboards and also offers lessons.

OAK HILL SNOW PLAY AREA

10 miles east of Williams on Route 66 928-635-1418 (Williams Visitor Center)

Two snow-tubing areas (600 and 400 feet) are featured at this snow playground in Coconino County. The area also features a 900-foot ski run that’s perfect for beginners, but there is no ski lift or tow. The area is equipped with a warming shelter with firepit and picnic tables at the bottom of the hill. Please note: Only rubberized tubes are permitted. Metal, wood and hardplastic sleds are prohibited. Snow play is free.

SUNRISE PARK RESORT WHITE MOUNTAINS

200 Highway 273, Greer 855-735-7669 • sunriseskipark.com

Sunrise Park Resort is Arizona’s Ultimate Mountain Adventure, offering the most ski runs and acreage in the state. They offer skiing, snowboarding, ski bikes, and have lessons available for all ages. The tentative opening date for Sunrise Park Resort is Friday, December 2, 2022.

ADVENTURES IN SPACE AND SCIENCE!

Two floors of science exhibits

Astronomy star talks

Planetarium shows

Laser light shows Observatory

FLANDRAU.ORG

ADIE BUSH

WINTER ANIMALS & COZY READS

By Maricopa County Library District

LIBRARIANS ACROSS MARICOPA

COUNTY LIBRARY DISTRICT have recommended their favorite winterthemed stories for your family to explore! Many of these titles are available in print, eBook, or Audiobook format from your library. Looking for more? Check out all your library has to offer at mcldaz.org!

0-3 YEARS OLD

Love Matters Most By Mij Kelly and Gerry Turley

This bear has lost something that is very dear to her. Discover what this polar bear is searching for in a fun, wintery landscape!

Why you’ll love it: “This adorable story is sure to warm the hearts of readers throughout the chilly season.”

– Brittany from Southeast Regional Library

Bear is Awake! An Alphabet Story By Hannah

4-6 YEARS OLD

A Big Bed for Little Snow By Grace

Lin

Little Snow begins winter with a new, fluffy bed that Mommy made for him. But, there is “no jumping,” says Mommy! When she’s not looking, he jumps, jumps, jumps on it, and tiny feathers escape the bed and flutter softly down. Learn what happens by the end of winter in this charming story.

Why you’ll love it: “This cute explanation for snow will delight your little ones!”

— Linda M. from Perry Library

E Harrison

At first glance this seems like a simple alphabet book, but it actually tells the story of bear’s day as he has fun with a new friend.

Why you’ll love it: “Much of the story is told through the illustrations. The expressions and body language of the bear and the humans are so genuine and heartfelt. You’ll want to read it again and again!”

– Janelle from Litchfield Park

I’m Going to Give You a Polar Bear Hug!

By Caroline B. Cooney and Tim Warnes

Hold your little one close as you read through the various hugs given to our favorite winter animals!

Why you’ll love it: “This rhyming tale creatively explores furry friends and is sure to get stuck in your head.”

– Brittany from Southwest Regional Library

1st- 3rd GRADE

A Long Road on a Short Day

By Gary D. Schmidt & Elizabeth Stuckney

Young Samuel joins his father for a daylong tromp through the snow to make a trade for a cow. As they visit various members of their rural community, the father makes a series of trades that are not the browneyed cow Samuel’s mother was wanting. In the end, the day is a success and Samuel ends up with his own surprise as well.

Why you’ll love it: “With full-page illustrations in every chapter, this transitional novel makes a great family read-aloud, or a cozy book for a progressing reader.”

– Janelle from Litchfield Park

Blizzard By Jon Rocco

The blizzard covered this Rhode Island town with 40 inches of snow—it was fun at first, but by day five, food is beginning to run low and cars can not drive on the snow-filled roads. Who was going to save the day?

Ten-year-old John, of course!

Why you’ll love it: “Kids and parents alike will love this telling of the author’s true adventure during the infamous Blizzard of 1978.”

– Linda M. from Perry Library

4th- 6th GRADE

Greenglass

House By Kate Milford

At Greenglass House, the innkeeper’s adopted 12-yearold son, Milo, is beginning his winter vacation when several guests unexpectedly start arriving. A mystery unfolds as they tell their stories, objects go missing, and the truth about Greenglass House comes to light.

Why you’ll love it: “This is a heartwarming and cozy mystery with a ghost story and an introverted hero at its center. The descriptions of the house and its history, peculiar characters, and snowy setting makes this a great story to sink into this winter.”

– Jennifer from Library Administration

Breadcrumbs

By Anne Ursu

Once upon a time, Hazel and Jack were best friends. Suddenly, Jack stopped talking to Hazel and disappeared into a forest with a mysterious woman made of ice. Now, it’s up to Hazel to venture after him in the woods that are nothing like what she’s read about in books!

Why you’ll love it: “This modern-day fairy tale is a retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Snow Queen,” that will keep you chilled with the power of fantasy and warm you with a coming of age experience.”

– Lindsey from Library Administration

TEENS

My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories

Edited by Stephanie Perkins

Savor the unique, cozy world with each story that fits your holiday taste or skip the ones that are your seasonal fruitcake. Contributing authors include young adult favorites Holly Black, David Levithan, Jenny Han, Matt de la Peña and more!

Why you’ll love it: “Whether you enjoy celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah, Winter Solstice or the New Year, there’s something in this short story anthology for everyone. I especially loved “Midnights” By Rainbow Rowell.”

– Lindsey from Library Administration

The Christmas Clash

By Suzanne Park

When the Riverwood mall is about to be sold to a developer, Chloe Kwan and Peter Li have to put aside their differences and work together to try to save the mall where their parents own restaurants. Can two teenagers save the mall, their parents livelihoods, and their holiday season?!

Why you’ll love it: “This novel is fun and lighthearted while working through how communities change and how difficult family dynamics can be. It shows how food, friendship, and the holiday season can help solve problems.”

– Stacey from Library Administration

Everything You Need to Know about RSV THIS WINTER

By Monique Seleen ISTOCK

WITH THE COOLER MONTHS also comes the rise of more upper respiratory viruses. Dr. Rahul at Banner Children’s at Thunderbird Medical Center, answers commonly asked questions about RSV and what you need to know to keep your family safe and healthy this winter.

What is RSV?

RSV stands for Respiratory Syncytial Virus. It is a well-known respiratory virus that is spread by contact and respiratory droplets. It usually causes mild cold-like symptoms in most children. Most children by the age of 2 have been infected by RSV at some point. It is the most common cause of bronchiolitis (inflammation of the small airways of the lung) and pneumonia in young children.

Why are RSV cases on the rise this winter?

Typically, we see RSV cases rise in the winter months usually starting in November as we do with other upper respiratory viruses. We have had years in the past when RSV started circulating in late summer and other times when it started after January. This year we are seeing it earlier than we usually do.

Who is most at-risk for severe complications?

Children under the age of 1 are at higher risk of severe complications, especially those with chronic medical problems such as history of prematurity, chronic lung disease, and congenital heart disease. Usually, the younger the patient is the sicker they can get since their airways are smaller to begin with.

What are common signs and symptoms of RSV?

Common signs and symptoms of RSV include cough, runny nose, wheezing, difficulty breathing with retractions (accessory muscle use in chest and abdomen), difficulty feeding, fatigue, apnea (pausing in breathing), and fever.

What should parents/caregivers do if they suspect their child might have RSV?

Parents who suspect that their child may have RSV should have their child evaluated by a medical professional and should keep their child away from others as much as possible.

What treatments are available?

Most children with RSV will do fine at home with supportive care including fever-reducing medications and encouraging drinking plenty

of fluids. Parents can try to clear out the nose of secretions and mucous at home. If a child is sick with respiratory distress, they should be evaluated by a medical professional. Some children require hospitalization for supplemental oxygen therapy and others can be sick enough for Pediatric Intensive Care Unit admission for more invasive respiratory support including intubation and mechanical ventilation. Antibiotics do not work for RSV since it is a viral infection.

How can parents/caregivers try to keep their child safe and healthy this winter?

Parents should practice good hand hygiene with frequent hand washing. They should also try to avoid exposure for their children with others that have upper respiratory infections. RSV can live on surfaces for hours so proper cleaning is also essential.

Dr. Rahul Chawla is a Pediatric Intensive Care Physician/Pediatric Emergency Medicine Physician at Banner Children’s at Thunderbird Medical Center.

Phoenix Getting PRESTIGIOUS New School

ARIZONA IS GETTING its first Friends School, a prestigious independent education concept of which a number of former U.S. President’s children including Malia and Sasha Obama and Chelsea Clinton are graduates.

The Phoenix Friends School, set to open in the Fall of 2023, will take an open-minded approach to curriculum and teaching and a developmental approach to children and learning.

“While there are many excellent schools in the Phoenix area, we believe that Phoenix Friends School is unique in providing students with a strong academic foundation guided by and grounded in the timeless Quaker values of equality, community, integrity, and peace,” said Andy Jones-Wilkins, Founding Head of School.

Upon opening, Phoenix Friends School will serve students in grades five and six with plans to expand to grades seven and eight over the subsequent two years.

With a student to teacher ratio of just six to one, students will not only receive personalized attention, but they will also get to take part in service-learning projects with the Desert Botanical Gardens and Arizona Humane Society.

“With the Humane Society students will participate in the Junior Vet Program which will provide real world experience in caring for animals and understanding the challenges the Humane Society grapples with on a daily basis,” said Jones-Wilkins. “With the Desert Botanical Garden students will participate in a developmentally appropriate integrated science program to learn more about our unique desert ecosystem as well as provide volunteer services to the Garden.”

In addition to service learning opportunities, the students will also be taught unique subjects such as civics where they will learn about responsible citizenship, grammar and vocabulary through Latin instruction, technological coding, and aikido—an integrative non-traditional physical education program.

The Phoenix Friends School also incorporates a form of worship that is simple and easily practiced by a religiously diverse community.

“Every Wednesday morning the entire school community gathers for Meeting for Worship,” said Jones-Wilkins. “Students and teachers gather to worship in silence and are encouraged to speak to the community from

their hearts, if so moved. Meeting for Worship makes explicit the connection between the inward and outward life that is unique to Quaker education and provides a weekly platform for reflection and rejuvenation.”

While the yearly tuition of $19,000 a year may be hefty for some families, the Phoenix Friends School offers financial assistance based on family income.

“We strive to meet 100% of demonstrated need for qualifying families,” said JonesWilkins. “Additionally, Phoenix Friends School observes an ‘evergreen’ tuition policy, meaning the tuition charged at the time of enrollment remains unchanged through a student’s graduation from the 8th grade.”

Families can also access Arizona’s Empowerment Scholarship Account and the Arizona Tuition Tax Credit Program to offset tuition costs.

Applications are now being accepted. For more information visit phoenixfriendsschool.org

A school just as unique as

child.

Your child isn’t one-dimensional. That’s why they need a school that addresses every aspect of their ever-growing self. Phoenix Friends School offers a whole-student education grounded in Quaker values and a path to academic excellence that includes spiritual depth. This unique combination provides students with the tools they need for life.

Opening Fall 2023 Grades 5 & 6 | Midtown Phoenix

Enrollment is Open Now. Don’t wait to give your child the successful middle school experience they deserve.

Want to Know More? We would be delighted to answer your questions or tell you more about Phoenix Friends School, Friends Education and our community partnerships. You can reach us by phone, email or our website.

(602) 562-2662 | info@phoenixfriendsschool.org phoenixfriendsschool.org

Friends Education Based in Values of: Equality • Service • Peace • Community

By Karen Aurit, LAMFT

HEALTHY LOVE HABITSSavoring

HOLD YOUR PARTNER’S hand like a warm cup of hot chocolate, and savor the moment.

New, groundbreaking research shows that “savoring the moment” can “elicit heightened levels of interest and enthusiasm” and “increase positive emotions” even during challenging times.

Just what the relationship doctor ordered!

Savoring means to focus on our positive emotion in the moment, deepening into the feeling and clinging to it for a bit longer than usual. We can also savor a memory from the past or excitement for the future.

Human beings are hardwired to search for the negative—it’s part of our evolutionary nature. Daily strains and stressors increase our tendency to focus on negative attributes and find fault with our partner. We may put up walls or take them for granted. We may begin to question the relationship because we feel that the “thrill is gone.”

The truth is that maintaining the “thrill” requires action. Even the strongest relationships are emotionally affected by

the strain and stress of life. In successful relationships, partners intentionally act themselves into positive feelings. Current research shows that savoring may be the most effective action you can take to increase positive feelings toward your partner.

With your partner, you might savor:

• A routine good-bye kiss by extending it for a few moments, embracing and making eye contact.

• A routine dinner by setting a romantic table with a candle, flowers, dim lights, and soft music—you might even say, “let’s savor these moments.”

• The fantasy of your next vacation by viewing destination photos together and imagining how magical it will be.

• Past moments by looking through photos of yourselves together and reminiscing about your most special memories.

• A favorite song you both love by blasting it and singing your hearts out.

Challenging times are inevitable and the emotional state of your relationship is bound to ebb and flow. Plenty of savoring can help you more easily accept your partner’s imperfections and focus on their positive attributes. Allow yourself to really enjoy the good times and savor them for as long as you can.

Healthy Love Habits is Raising Arizona Kids’s monthly relationship column for learning simple habits to create the healthy and loving connection you desire and deserve.

Karen Aurit, LAMFT, is Director and Co-Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation. Karen is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in mindfulness. Karen is married to Michael Aurit, and they live in Phoenix with their with their four and five-year-old daughters. To learn more, visit auritmediation.com

COURAGEOUS CO-PARENTING

The Power of REFRAMING

By Michael Aurit, JD, MDR

CO-PARENT: I would ask you about switching our days with the kids next week, but you’re totally in your own world, and now that you’ve got a “new friend,” what I think doesn’t matter.

You could react.

You: My own world?? You’ve been in your own world for years!

You: What does my new friend, who has a name, have to do with anything?

You: When have you ever asked me to switch days!?

And the conversation goes downhill from there.

Or—you could reframe.

You: I think I’m hearing you say that you want to trade Monday for Tuesday next week. That works for me.

Imagine your co-parent’s response to that beauty!

Reframing is restating what someone says to you in a new and more productive way. Reframing a statement that focuses on the true meaning and removes any blame, criticism, or defensiveness. Reframing is the most effective strategy I use as a professional mediator to help parents communicate better.

Here are some tips when reframing something your co-parent says or writes:

• Validate your co-parent’s emotions.

• Clarify your co-parent’s intent of the message.

• Remove any blame, criticism, or defensive language or tone.

• Use more neutral or positive language.

• Highlight any opportunities.

Co-Parent: You’re always late, and it cuts into my time with the kids!

Here’s how you can pause, reframe, and respond: You: [Pause]

[Validate] I understand—I would be upset too.

[Clarify their intent] Every moment matters.

[Remove blame / Use positive language] I hear you saying that it’s important that the kids be ready for you on time.

[Neutral] For the next month, they have swim lessons until 5 p.m., so the earliest they can be ready is 5:15 p.m.

[Highlight opportunity] Would it work for you to pick them up from swimming or drop them off 15 minutes later to make up the time?

You don’t have control over what your co-parent says, but as a courageous co-parent, you can pause and reframe it before responding. Reframing instantly changes the course of the conversation.

Your co-parent can let go of frustration or defensiveness, hearing that you understand their true intention. By responding strategically rather

The KARAOKE EXPERIMENT

In a recent study at Harvard, Professor Alison Brooks had a large group of people sing karaoke for a crowd of strangers. She told the singers that someone would ask them how they felt before their big performance. Half were told to respond, “I’m feeling anxious,” and the other half were told to respond, “I’m feeling excited.” Nintendo’s Super Karaoke results showed that the group that said “anxious” had an accuracy rate of about 50% compared to “excited,” which had about 80% accuracy.

Holy Reframing-Realization! —using more positive language affects our perspective and improves behavior. The words co-parents choose to convey their message are just as important as the message itself.

than reacting, you will receive more peaceful responses from your co-parent, staying true to your goal of maintaining peace in your life.

Now, step into your power and practice reframing in all your relationships

Courageous Co-Parenting is Raising Arizona Kids’s monthly column for separating or divorced parents to learn conflict resolution skills, strategies, and attitudes for healthy co-parenting. These concepts apply to all parents. Please feel free to share the column with your co-parent.

Michael Aurit, JD, MDR, is a Professional Mediator and Co-Founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation. Michael is married to Karen Aurit, and they live in Phoenix with their with their four and five-year-old daughters. To learn more, visit auritmediation.com

Presented by The Etnyre Foundation every First Friday of each month.

Great for kids 3-83, home-school children, Wickenburg area residents and the surrounding community. Crafting and art activities included with paid museum admission. Free for kids 17 and under. Call 928.684.2272 for more information.

New Year’s Resolutions For Moms Things to Stop Doing in 2023

By Rosalind Prather

2023 IS RAPIDLY approaching. And its impending arrival begs us to establish obligatory “New Year’s Resolutions.” Cue the lists of things that we need to start doing (as if any of us moms need more things to add to our plates.) Go to the gym more often. Drink more water. Spend more time playing with our kids. Start meditating. Log more volunteer hours. Visit our family that we have not seen in a while. Take that vacation. The list of all that we need to do to arrive at “success” is daunting and never-ending.

I can already see my calendar filling up while the precious “white space” is slowly fading away. And while it may be worthwhile to add one or more of these activities to our regular routine and do more of certain things, there is something to be said for shifting our focus to what we need to do less of. And there is a lot. So, while you’re thinking about the things you are going to start doing in 2023, please consider some things you can also stop doing that might free up some time, energy and perhaps even restore some of your sanity.

1. Giving excessive goodie bags for birthday parties. It’s really hard to live more minimally, keep a clean and tidy house and organize your stuff as it is. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem among your friends and family when it comes to infiltrating their homes and cars with more crap via kids’ party favor bags. I’m guilty

like the rest of them. I didn’t say these New Year “don’ts” would be easier. But the hard truth is that the money we spend on this plastic junk that ends up in the trash, in every car cup holder, in our purses, etc. is such a waste! It’s a lose-lose-lose situation. The party host loses by spending unnecessary money having to put all these bags together, the recipient’s parent loses - (Anyone ever found party slime in the couch?) and really, the kid loses too. Kids have too much as it is. Some kids have so much that they don’t even value or appreciate or take care of what they do have. So cut the garbage - literally. And send your party guests home with maybe one special item, or better yet, nothing at all. I dare you.

2. Signing up for too many after-school activities. I get it. Our kids have lots of interests and maybe even various talents that warrant exploration. It’s easy to over book our afternoons when our intentions are noble. But I really believe that kids need more freedom/”boredom” and less scheduled activities. The “go, go, go!” lifestyle isn’t just exhausting for us as parents. It also is emotionally and mentally taxing on our kids who have their entire lives to be overworked and overscheduled. It’s time to take back some much-needed downtime (for parents and kids!) and leave room in the afterschool hustle and bustle for playing outside in the yard, reading a book in the living room, or playing a board game with a sibling. We’ve got to do less rushing, less driving from

here to there, less eating in the car because there isn’t even a spare moment to sit down and do something as basic as nourishing ourselves. So together, pick the most important activities/sports/clubs etc. and let the rest go.

3. Being on our phones like teenagers.

Teens and tweens are stereotypically glued to their phones in the minds of adults. But I’ve got news for you. They aren’t the only ones. How on earth can we even attempt to curb the awful habit of mindlessly scrolling, not being present and hunching over a glowing screen like a zombie with bad posture with our kids if we model that very behavior ourselves? I really try not to text and drive and to be fair, almost always limit my texts to stop lights. But the other day I had a “lightbulb” moment. My 10-year-old who will be driving in less than six years can see me. She’s watching. “If mom does it, it must be safe.” Research shows that your child’s behavior will be far more influenced by what they see than what they are told. They learn through modeling more than lecturing. Plus, having your nose in your phone around others is simply bad manners. So put it away as much as possible and show what it looks like to be fully engaged in the moment and present in the world.

4. Apologizing.

Do you find yourself saying “I am sorry” often? Over-apologizing can come in various shapes and forms: You lost track of texting your friend back. I’m sorry. You bump into someone at the mall. I’m sorry. You cannot contribute to the parent/teacher conference week snack sign-up genius. I’m sorry. You cannot attend the kindergarten “Lunch on the Lawn” because it is in the middle of a workday and the PTO president is disappointed again. I’m sorry. You can’t make it to the fifth trampoline park birthday party of the month. I’m sorry. Raise your bar of what you consider offensive. Should other moms, leaders and colleagues understand that sometimes you just cannot do it all? Yes, they should. Remind yourself that “No.” is a complete sentence. Begin with self-awareness. Spend one day counting how many times, spoken or written, that you say the phrase, “I am sorry.” Update your vocabulary and truly be mindful of the fact that you do not need to apologize that you can’t be all things to all people at all times. Nor should you feel the need to apologize for things that are simply out of your control.

5. Social Media.

Ok, you all knew this was coming. Social media detoxes are the newest fad diet. But, can you really stop and consider a solid and intentional seven to ten day social media detox? No posting. No scrolling. No peeking. No “quick checks.” Just a true mental-health break from the social comparison cycle. You will stop feeling so inferior and competitive and that might just compel you to look around and notice the beauty in your own real life. You may experience withdrawal syndrome and that is because social media is engineered to be as addictive as cocaine. I mean, stop and really think about that. Conquer your fear of missing out and step away for a season. Your mind, mood, family and friends will thank you.

Rosalind Prather is a third-generation small business owner and momtrepreneur. She is a Trusting Connections Nanny Agency Co-Founder and Logistigal, LLC Co-Founder. She the proud mother of two girls. She is married to Bryan, her cowboy and true soulmate and considers family life and motherhood her greatest joy.

WELCOMING a new baby into your family can be both joyful and overwhelming as you try to prepare for the inevitable changes. With these valuable resources, you can rest assured that you will be ready for all that awaits. Find out how to map out a financial plan before your baby arrives, learn about virtual pregnancy coaching sessions, see how a postpartum doula can help your family, and check out The Nest Prep to get freezer-ready meals delivered right to your doorstep. Plus, popular social media couple Matt and Abby Howard open up about their life as new parents.

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH LOCAL SOCIAL MEDIA SENSATIONS:

Matt & HowardAbby

AT JUST 23 AND 24 YEARS OLD, Abby and Matt Howard have become social media sensations with over 4.7 million TikTok followers, 2.34 million YouTube subscribers, and 15,000 followers on Instagram.

The couple met in the 8th grade and after dating long-distance all throughout high school, eventually married during their sophomore year in college.

It wasn’t until the pandemic hit, when both found themselves out of a job, that they began dabbling into the TikTok world and soon went viral with their videos.

“We were super frugal in college and had saved up money so we didn’t have to jump ship immediately into another job,” said Abby. “Our TikTok just took off and it was totally unexpected.”

In addition to TikTok, Matt and Abby were vlogging frequently on their YouTube channel, slowly growing their presence and gaining subscribers.

“We made weekly YouTube videos for a year—that really helped us learn perseverance,” said Matt. “It was like we were working a part-time job getting paid nothing and just hoping it would work.”

The couple documented everything from their day-to-day life, Abby’s pregnancy journey, and even took viewers alongside the birth of their son, Griffin, in July 2022.

Now, they have successfully turned their social media platforms into a source of income, earning a stream of revenue through Youtube, Tik Tok, Instagram reels, and various brand and merchandise deals.

“When we started to make money doing brand deals, we were freaking out,” said Matt. “It’s almost like we have a reality TV show

only we’re doing all the roles of making a show.”

Recently, they hired on the help of a video editor and agent and said they plan to continue building out their business as they grow.

“It’s like doing an 80 hour a week job,” said Matt. “We’re constantly making new videos and putting so much thought and work into the production to tell a story.”

Viewers can witness the ins and outs as Matt and Abby show honest and real inside looks into their lives as new parents with topics like: Driving 12 hours with a newborn, a day in the life with a newborn, first time leaving their baby, being a single dad for 36 hours, and more.

“We want the focus to be us and how we are handling parenting rather than just focusing all on Griffin,” said Abby.

While their son makes regular appearances in the videos, Matt and Abby agreed that they both strive to create genuine content but still keep parts of their life private.

“We never want to sacrifice our relationship or our family for this,” said Abby. “That was one of my biggest concerns going into this. Through constant conversation and always prioritizing us and our family is how we keep doing this.”

Although both parenthood and their social media business have had their stressors, the couple said they couldn’t be happier with where life has taken them.

“If you would have told me this would be our life three years ago, I would have laughed,” said Matt. “We used to dream about one day working together and now we get to and it’s the best thing ever.”

Ha ving a Baby? A

Financial

To-Do List for Expectant Parents

By Rachel Galvez

FROM THE MOMENT you find out your baby is on the way, your to-do list starts growing. You’ll need a crib, a baby monitor, and lots of diapers. But, between painting the nursery and baby-proofing your home, don’t forget to map out a financial plan to reduce spending-related stress while you’re on parental leave – and beyond.

Here are seven essential financial to-dos to help prepare for your new arrival.

1. Get the details on available leave. Find out about your parental leave options as soon as possible. Many employers offer paid or partially paid leave, but it’s not required in most states. Overall, the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides 12 weeks of unpaid leave if your employer has 50+ employees and you’ve worked there for at least a year. Start by asking your employer:

• Do I qualify for any paid parental leave? Short-term disability benefits?

• Can paid vacation, sick, or personal time be used?

• How much time can I take off? How long will my current position be secured?

2. Dig into coverage details.

The average cost of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum care for Americans with health insurance is $18,865. Average out-of-pocket costs are $3,000.1 Review your health insurance to find out what is and isn’t covered. Based on your birth plan, calculate potential out-of-pocket expenses, including your policy’s deductible. And look for unexpected benefits. For example, many insurance companies will rent you a pump for breastfeeding, saving you the expense of purchasing one.

3. Estimate your expenses. Track your current spending and project how it will change. Identify essential expenses, like rent and debt payments, and opportunities to cut back during unpaid leave, such as commuting costs or eating out. Most importantly, do some research to estimate new expenses after your baby’s arrival. For example, babies need up to 12 diapers a day, which adds up to an average cost of $936 per year if you choose to use disposable diapers.2

4. Make a new budget. If you don’t already have a budget, now’s the time to create one. Allocate monthly spending, including funds to cover unplanned or

emergency expenses. Since you’re likely to have reduced income during your leave, calculate how much, if any, you’ll need to pull from savings.

5. Build up your savings.

Start saving a little extra each month as soon as – or even before – you learn your baby is on the way. Set a weekly savings goal and then forgo a couple of fancy coffee drinks or cut back on eating out in order to reach it. Make saving a habit by opening a dedicated parental leave or baby expenses savings account and setting up automatic deposits.

6.

Make the most out of baby gifts.

Chances are, your family and friends want to share in your baby joy. Don’t be afraid to include big-ticket items like strollers, car seats, or cribs on your baby registry list. And be practical. Add plenty of diapers, wipes, and formula to the list. If these types of staples aren’t a registry option, ask for gift cards that you can use for necessities down the road. Plus, many baby registry sites offer welcome kits with samples and coupons worth as much as $100.

7. Look forward financially.

Once your baby is born, there are a few important financial steps to take. While your health insurance will cover birth-related expenses, you’ll need to add your child to your plan within 30 days of birth or adoption to continue coverage. Check with your employer about other benefits that offer dependent coverage, such as dental, vision, and life insurance. And it’s never too early to start building a solid financial foundation for your child by opening an account to start saving for their future education and other long-term goals.

Welcoming a new baby is not just life-changing; it also transforms your budget and spending. A little advance planning can help you reduce financial stress so you can focus on enjoying the milestone moments.

1 Health Costs Associated with Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Postpartum Care, PetersonKaiser Family Foundation Health System Tracker, July 2022.

2 How Much Does It Cost to Raise a Baby?, Healthline, July 2021.

Rachel Galvez is the Marketing Partnerships Manager at Arizona Financial Credit Union. A mom of two, Rachel is committed to empowering families with the information they need to make smart financial decisions now and set their children on the path to financial success in the future.

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How to Pr epare Sibl ings for Changes When a New Baby Arrives

By Rodrigo Mendoza, Licensed and Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBA)

WHEN A CHILD meets a new sibling their environment changes quickly. Some of these changes can make their lives unpredictable, as the presence of a newborn can impact the family in many ways.

Older siblings are used to receiving constant predictable attention from their family for two to three years before becoming older siblings (Baydar et al., 1997) and it could potentially cease to be the case as the baby becomes the center of attention.

What types of behaviors are common from an older child when a new baby arrives?

You may notice your child clinging more towards you, avoiding the newborn’s presence, or presenting negative language (“I do not like him”). If these conditions persist with lack of parental attention, they could develop into some aggressive behaviors towards the baby.

It is often the case that a child’s aggression towards others draws negative attention (e.g., reprimand). As a result, aggression towards the baby could be used to gain access to your attention (e.g., reprimand).

Another behavioral change, commonly defined as “behavioral regression”, is the tendency for some children to regress to previous developmental stages. Older siblings could request for the same treatment

the younger siblings receive (e.g., nursing, diaper changes, wants to be spoon-fed, etc.) These behaviors may be presented temporarily as they adjust to the environmental changes.

What can parents do to help prepare other siblings for the arrival of a new baby?

• Schedule individual time alone with older siblings. It is important to establish the routine of allotted time before the baby’s birth. Distribute these moments with family members. Individualized social interactions (reinforcement) could make the transition manageable for older siblings. In general, it’s helpful to show extra affection or even use more kind words towards the older siblings.

• Set reminders for yourself. Maternal exhaustion while taking care of the newborn could change the way you interact with the older siblings. It is advisable to prepare for these eventualities. One potential method can be a strategically placed message (post note, refrigerator magnet, etc.) serving as a reminder to smile and show excitement when interacting with older siblings.

• Avoid negotiations and make a plan. Maladaptive behaviors may be presented during the transition period. You should try to avoid the trap

of negotiating with the older siblings as these negotiations can lead to reinforcement access (e.g., attention). Entering a logical argument or providing alternative reinforcement (e.g., preferred activity) while they are presenting maladaptive behaviors can make the situation more complex in the future. Instead, have a plan in place. For example, in anticipation of the child entering the room while mom is nursing, prepare the area in advance so the older sibling can be present and snuggle next to mom during the activity.

• Distribute responsibilities. Bedtime routines are another facet of the older siblings’ lives that may be interrupted. For example, as mom is busy with a fussy newborn at 2 a.m., other children may require her attention. Parents should prepare for this eventuality. They can devise a way to distribute the responsibilities. This can include defining family members’ roles under these and other scenarios.

• Involve older children. Children love to play make believe, so you could use this prefered activity to introduce future changes (newborn) and prepare older siblings (teaching) by including changes in their routine while modeling appropriate behaviors. With older children, parents can make them part of the team by assigning them things to do (picking up toys, putting away baby clothes, etc.). They can also be involved in decorating the baby’s room or helping with toy selection.

How can parents work with a child who displays signs of jealousy or aggression towards a new baby?

Let’s say an older sibling takes away the newborn’s pacifier and as a result the newborn is agitated. This behavior may be a way to get access to your attention (e.g., reprimand). Hence, you should refrain from making a big deal of the incident. Rather, take care of the baby and ignore the older child’s behavior. Later, as soon as an appropriate time has passed (1-5 min), you can provide attention for any appropriate behavior presented by the older sibling, for example “great work [cleaning up].”

Behavioral changes, during the adjustment period may be temporary if you follow these suggestions, provide the most attention to appropriate (positive) behaviors rather than inappropriate (negative) behaviors, and take time to prepare your family before the new baby’s arrival.

References

Baydar, N., Hyle, P., & Brooks-Gunn, J. (1997). A longitudinal study of the effects of the birth of a sibling during preschool and early grade school years. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 59, 957–965. http:// dx.doi.org/10.2307/353795

Rodrigo Mendoza holds a Bachelor of Science in University Studies from Brigham Young University and a Master’s in Applied Behavior Analysis from ASU. Currently, he is completing the PHD ABA program at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. He is a Licensed and Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBA) who sees behaviorism as a movement to change the world’s verbal community. Through his work, he encourages other analysts to maintain behaviorism’s purity as a natural science. He is the Program Director of the ABA Department at T.E.A.M. 4 Kids Pediatric Therapy. Rodrigo’s applied research interests include video modeling, identifying variables controlling orienting as an operant behavioral class, eye-face gaze, motivating operations, and complex verbal repertoires.

Banner Health: Women and Infant Services

By Monique Seleen

HAVING A BABY is a special experience and choosing your maternity care team as well as where you will deliver are both important steps in the journey.

To ensure you feel comfortable, informed, and safe while you prepare to welcome your baby into the world, it can be helpful to know what to expect and what options are available to you before you deliver.

Laura Snow, Associate Vice President of Women, Infant and Pediatric Services, offers insight into the many services Banner Health provides throughout pregnancy, delivery, postpartum and more.

Each year, Banner Health’s maternity teams deliver more than 30,000 babies at their various hospital locations and are currently expanding the Women and Infant Services at both Banner Gateway and Banner Desert Medical Centers to meet the growing needs of these areas.

“Banner is a leader in the women’s health space and the largest provider of maternity services in the market,” said Snow. “With 10 labor and delivery programs across the market, we are able to care for everything from high touch to high tech.”

Whether you are looking for a more natural birth, seeking pain management options during labor, or needing a cesarean, Banner Health offers a variety of specialized programs to ensure mothers and babies have the best birthing experience possible.

In addition to regular maternity suites, Banner Del E. Webb Medical Center in the west Valley has four natural birthing suites for patients looking to achieve a natural birth experience.

The natural birthing suites are designed to feel a little homier and less like a clinical setting, while still having medical equipment readily available if needed.

“Many women view it as a natural process and we provide that with the safety of being in a hospital environment,” said Snow.

If achieving a vaginal birth after a cesarean (VBAC) is one of your goals, Banner Del E. Webb and their team of midwives are supportive of

trying to make that happen.

High-risk pregnancies and premature babies will receive top-notch neonatal care by providers at Banner Desert, Banner Thunderbird, and Banner University Medical Centers.

“We have OBGYNs specializing in maternal fetal medicine, caring for the most complicated pregnancies and serious clinical conditions that might complicate their pregnancy,” Snow said. “These facilities can take care of the most premature babies, and we have internal relationships between the other medical centers where we’re able to facilitate any transfer process as quickly as possible.”

All facilities strive to support the mother and baby in multiple ways by providing a variety of birthing modalities such as peanut balls and portable tubs, offering aromatherapy options, welcoming birthing doulas, and offering lactation and breastfeeding support when needed.

Leading up to the delivery, Banner Health has many prenatal education courses for patients planning to deliver with a Banner facility. With both in-person and virtual options, you can find courses on helpful topics such as preparing for childbirth, breastfeeding basics, a class specifically for new dads, and OB facility tours.

During your hospital stay, you can expect to receive careful watch over you and your baby for any potential complications.

“We continue to monitor moms for high blood pressure and hemorrhaging,” said Snow. “Healthy newborns will stay with mom for the duration of their stay, but if a baby does need extra care, we have level two neonatal care available at all facilities.”

Care doesn’t end once you are discharged. You can find a variety of pediatric providers through Banner Health to continue caring for your new bundle of joy.

“We have a great seamless connection between the laboring process, postpartum care, and pediatric programs,” said Snow. “We want to be there to support families every step of the way.”

Keeping Your Skincare Regimen Safe During Pregnancy

By Dr. Brooke Jeffy

ADD DOUBLE CHECKING your skincare regimen to the list of things to do when you find out you are pregnant! While the majority of over-the-counter skincare products will be safe to use during pregnancy, there are a few ingredients that should be avoided.

Breakouts

There is no way to predict how the skin will react during pregnancy. Sometimes it causes or worsens acne; sometimes skin gets clear. Do not be afraid to treat acne with products as long as they are safe during pregnancy. Untreated acne can cause scarring if it’s severe and can negatively affect mental health. Consider seeing your dermatologist for acne that is painful or leaving marks on the skin.

• Use products with benzoyl peroxide, salicylic acid, hypochlorous acid, colloidal sulfur, azelaic acid, glycolic acid, lactic acid or mandelic acid.

• Avoid both over the counter and prescription retinoids. Over-thecounter ingredients in this category to look out for are retinol and retinyl palmitate. Differin gel, an over-the-counter acne product containing the retinoid adapalene, should also be avoided.

Maintaining Healthy Skin

If you have been dedicated to a regimen to keep your skin healthy and beautiful, you don’t have to give that up but you may need to alter your products.

• Use Vitamin C or bakuchiol containing products for antioxidant protection, beneficial effects on collagen, and to help with brown spots.

• Continue to use sunscreen daily. Look for sunscreens that contain titanium dioxide and zinc. These are safe for use during pregnancy because they are not absorbed through the skin.

• Avoid anti-aging products that contain retinoids such as retinol and retinyl palmitate.

• Avoid lightning products that contain hydroquinone.

Dry & Itchy Skin

Dry skin is incredibly common during pregnancy due to hormone changes. Pregnancy can also trigger eczema.

• Use cream type moisturizers containing ingredients like glycerin, ceramides, hyaluronic acid, coconut oil, shea butter or cocoa butter

• Use colloidal oatmeal, calamine lotion or topical benadryl to help with itch. Over the counter hydrocortisone is considered safe in pregnancy but should be used sparingly.

• Avoid fragrance containing products which can irritate dry skin.

Stretch Marks

Stretch marks are a very common consequence of pregnancy due to the stretching and expanding of the skin to accommodate baby. From a dermatology perspective, there is no consensus on an effective ingredient to be used for prevention but we can certainly understand the desire to try!

• Use creams containing nut butters (cocoa, shea or jojoba), vitamins A and E, hyaluronic acid, oils (coconut, argan or rosehip), aloe vera, or peptides.

• Avoid essential oils that are controversial during pregnancy just to be safe. Avoid tea tree, rosemary, fennel, clary sage, marjoram, tarragon, caraway, cinnamon, thuja, mogwort, birch, wintergreen, basil, camphor, hyssop, aniseed, sage, tansy, wormwood, parsley seed or leaf and pennyroyal.

• Avoid formaldehyde, formaldehyde releasers and phthalates

If you have any doubt about the products you are using during pregnancy, be sure to check with your dermatologist or OB/GYN.

Dr. Brooke Jeffy is a board-certified dermatologist that has been practicing in North Scottsdale for nine years. She practices dermatology differently by combining medical dermatology, lifestyle approaches and skincare to create skin health for her patients. Her favorite condition to treat is acne and she loves teaching tweens and teens how to care for their skin. Dr. Jeffy is also the founder of btwn skincare, a product line and educational resource for tweens and teens to help them get started with healthy skin and wellness habits. To learn more or schedule an appointment, go to www.brookejeffymd. com. For tween/teen skincare tips IG @brookejeffymd

Finding

By Monique Seleen

HAVE YOU EVER walked out of your prenatal appointment with a million unanswered questions only to be handed a pamphlet? Or perhaps you’ve given birth before but this time around are hoping for a different experience—one where you feel educated and prepared instead of overwhelmed and confused.

Knowing how much of a difference patient education can make during prenatal care is what led Mallorie Resendez Bassetti, Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM), to begin offering pregnancy coaching sessions to women throughout the state of Arizona.

After deciding to take a sabbatical from “catching babies” to focus on her family, Mallorie recently turned Glow Midwifery, her midwifery practice in Gilbert, to offer virtual services while she spends time at home with her five young children.

Mallorie said she wanted a way to feel like she was still impacting pregnant women even though she’s not assisting with births right now and came up with the idea to offer virtual pregnancy coaching.

“Patient education has been really important to me in practice. It’s something I see lacking in most medical care but especially prenatal care,” said Mallorie. “I’m doing this for the women who don’t feel like they’re getting the information they need from their regular OB visits.”

The virtual pregnancy coaching sessions are educational opportunities covering a variety of pregnancy topics from the early stages, all the way through the third trimester, and there’s even a session to help prepare for postpartum.

With over seven years of midwifery experience, Mallorie has counseled thousands of pregnant women and stays up-to-date on the latest research.

“There aren’t a lot of ways to get medical information while you’re pregnant other than talking to your doctor who doesn’t have time to talk to you,” said Mallorie. “We can talk about some of these topics that everyone else shies away from.”

Topics include how to choose a birth provider, advanced maternal age, placenta previa, vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC), gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, creating a birth plan, and more.

Sessions are 30 or 45 minutes long, depending on the topic, and start at $60.

“Think of it as a mix between a class and a chat with your best friend, if your best friend was a midwife,” said Mallorie.

Through the pregnancy coaching sessions, Mallorie says she hopes women not only feel like their questions are being answered, but that

they feel empowered and informed.

“They’ll have more information and I hope that information will give them confidence to make the best decisions for themselves.”

To find out more or

Monique Seleen and her newborn son, Carter, with Midwife Mallorie Resendez Bassetti, when she was attending births.

Po s tpartum Doula s What They Do and How They Can Help Your Family

By Monique Seleen

I DID NOT PREPARE myself for postpartum. Maybe it’s because I was a first-time mom and went into it all a little naively or perhaps I had a tougher-than-usual postpartum experience.

Either way, I felt like I was drowning trying to take care of myself, figure out this new little human, and keep up with every day essentials: sleeping, showering, eating, and the piles of laundry.

At one point during a check-in with my midwife, I expressed how overwhelmed I felt while tears streamed down my face. She asked how much help I had and then suggested I look into hiring a postpartum doula.

I knew about doulas (my mom got her doula certification while I was pregnant and was my doula during birth) but I didn’t know much about postpartum doula services. Too exhausted to research and find out more, I never ended up hiring one, but looking back, I see how helpful it might have been.

If you’re like me and don’t know much about what postpartum

Top: Cherry Blossom Doula Marlene loving on a sweet babe while preparing a meal for a weary momma.

Above: Birth recovery stew and congees prepared by a Doula.

Photos courtesy of Cherry Blossom Doula Services.

doulas can do, or if you’ve had a rough postpartum experience and want to make things smoother the next time around, you might discover a postpartum doula could be a lifesaver.

We chatted with Jennifer Magnano, Postpartum Director at Cherry Blossom Doulas, to learn more about postpartum doulas and the many services they offer.

What are postpartum doulas? How do their services differ from a nanny or in-home nurse?

We care for the whole family. That means providing emotional and social support for mom, mom’s partner, and any siblings present. We’ll cook, do light cleaning, and even offer holistic healing and mindfulness practices.

Why might a family/new mom consider hiring a postpartum doula?

If they don’t have someone for a really close support system—a family member or friend—that they’d want to come over and help, that’s what a postpartum doula is for. We offer unbiased support and are a judgment free zone. We’re not there to tell you what to do, we’ll offer guidance, but we’re there more for what they need.

Can you tell me what a typical day-in-the-life with a postpartum doula might look like?

We’ll come in and assess what the situation looks like—if mom hasn’t slept, had a meal, showered, we’ll see what is needed. It might look like us offering to hold the baby so mom can shower,

making breakfast, lunch or dinner, hanging out with a sibling, cleaning bottles or pumping parts, folding laundry, offering lactation support. We just kind of take a feel for the environment. We also try to emotionally support dads, allowing them to express how things are going and try to fill any gaps.

How long do postpartum doulas work with a family?

On average six to eight weeks. We have some families we help through the first 12 weeks. We have a bunch of packaged visits and those can be customized to fit what works best for each family.

What are the expected costs? Are there options for families who may be interested but can’t afford it?

Packages range from $350 - $1950, with add-on and customization options available for additional costs. We do offer scholarships. There’s a form to fill out where you’ll let us know the circumstances—if you’re under a certain income level, or if you’ve had a loss or are expecting a loss.

At the end of the day, postpartum doulas are there to offer support and help make the postpartum days a little lighter for everyone. Throughout her years in postpartum work, Jennifer said the most rewarding part has been watching families grow together during that time.

“I love seeing families thrive,” she said. “We walk in a lot of the times and mom is crying, dad is unsure what’s normal, then to see the progression since we’re with them an extended period of time. We get to see who these families become and that’s just the best.”

The Toy L ibr ary of Arizona

By Monique Seleen

AS A FIRST TIME MOM, I’m realizing just how much “stuff” these tiny human beings use. Between a swing, bouncer, high chair, pack’n’play, jumper, teethers, and toys, I feel like my whole house has been taken over by my 8-month-old.

Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe your house is exploding with toddler toys, some that have been abandoned and collecting dust because your child is bored or out growing it.

Maybe you find yourself constantly buying new things in hopes that it will occupy your kids for a few precious minutes so you can sip your coffee in peace.

This was the case for Gilbert mom of two (with a third on the way), Payton Allen, who finally reached her limit with toy clutter.

“I wanted my kids to have exposure to all the fun toys,” said Payton. “But it became a vicious cycle; they got bored, so I bought new toys, then they were playing and quiet, but after a few days they got bored again.”

Set out to make a change, Payton began researching various toy libraries throughout the country, intrigued at the thought of renting toys instead of buying them.

After extensive research and collaborating with a toy library in Wyoming to understand the ins and outs of the business, Payton began the process to start The Toy Library of Arizona—building a website from scratch, figuring out how to book keep, obtaining a business license, and more.

The Toy Library of Arizona officially launched in July 2022 after a few months of pilot testing and has been steadily growing ever since.

How it Works

Think of it kind of like a book library. You obtain a membership and have access to a toy catalog of over 260 toys.

Each toy is assigned a point based on its value, but no toy exceeds four points, even if it’s worth more. This allows families the ability to always rent at least two toys at a time.

Toys can be checked out for up to two weeks but can be exchanged sooner if your child is growing bored with it. After the two weeks, simply make a new reservation and check out new toys. Payton will bag all the toys for you and they’ll be ready for pick-up in Gilbert. Current pick-up days are on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Once toys are returned, they undergo a strict cleaning procedure using a non-toxic hospital grade cleaner that sanitizes and disinfects.

“My desire is for people to feel like they’re receiving a new toy,” said Payton.

The Benefits of Renting Toys

Save money. Toys are expensive and kids’ developmental needs and interests are constantly changing which means they can outgrow toys easily. “Families are spending an astronomical amount of money on toys,” said Payton. “Toys are expensive so this allows you to try them out without buying them and see if your kids like them and want to play with them.”

Rory (3).

Keep kids interested. There’s something exciting about playing with something new. By renting toys, kids get to explore that new toy they’ve been wanting while also improving the quality of their play. “There’s so much research on toy rotation—having fewer toys keeps them engaged,” said Payton.

Access to quality, carefully selected toys. Good quality toys that focus on exploration and learning can be pricey. Through renting, your child can have access to these types of toys without the high costs. “You won’t find a ton of battery operated toys,” said Payton. “I really want them to facilitate development and play. I keep my eyes on award-winning, sustainable, durable, and long-lasting toys to add to our catalog.”

The Toy Library has a variety of toys geared for kids from newborn all the way through age eight.

“We have everything from games and puzzles, Lovevery, pretend play, figurines, water toys and more,” said Payton. “I wanted to hit all those ‘hot items’ but also feature educational toys focusing on literacy, numbers and counting, and STEM toys. There’s a little bit of everything minus the toys that just don’t benefit kids.”

As the Toy Library of Arizona looks to the future, Payton said she hopes to not only grow its presence and toy selection, but to have a brick and mortar building.

“I would love to someday have a space where kids can play and then toys can be taken home, like a library,” she said. “I also plan to do some pop up play locations where I can bring some of the popular toys and provide a space where parents can bring their kids.”

While The Toy Library of Arizona is currently based in the East Valley, Payton said another goal is to eventually expand pick up locations to serve other parts of the Valley. For more information visit thetoylibraryaz.com

The Allen Family of Gilbert. Riggs (18 months), Payton, Trever, and

Favori te Baby I tem s

Kate with Maverick in the LilleBaby CarryOn Airflow Baby Carrier. Inset: Kate and Maverick using the Kyte Ring Sling.

1. Copper Pearl 5-in-1 Baby Covers: Stretchy multiuse covers are perfect for breastfeeding, carseat covers, shopping cart, and more! $26.95 at copperpearl.com

2. Kyte Baby Soft Bamboo Baby Towels : Super soft, oversized, and quick drying! Hooded Bath Towel, $35. 5-Pack Washcloth, $16 at kytebaby.com

3. Tubby Todd Bath Co.: Gentle and safe ingredients and subtle scents. Everything from bubble bath to lotion for baby’s bath time. Newborn Gift Set, $112 at tubbytodd.com

4. Lalabu Dad Shirt: Holds babies up to 15 lbs. $30 at shop.lalabu.com

5. Puj Baby Tub: Fits in the sink, cradles newborns, and has magnets to store on the side of the washer, or hang it to dry. $44.99 at puj.com

6. Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair: Very stable, has a 5 point harness, foot rest, and grows with baby (from baby insert to a booster seat). $299 at stokke.com/usa

7. Fast Table Chair: Great for travel or when you’re out and about! Works great on almost every table without a lip–even picnic tables! Holds up to 37 lbs. $79 at inglesina.us

8. Lou Lou and Co Ultimate Newborn Bundle (Hat or Headband): Soft material, built in footies, and generously sized to maximize wearing ability. $78 at loulouandcompany.com

9. Baby Carriers:

• Ring Sling: Tucks away nicely, has pockets and easy for breastfeeding. For babies newborn-35 lbs. Favorites are: W ild Bird (wildbird.co), Kyte Baby (kytebaby.com), and Nalakai (nalakai.com).

• The Lalabu Kerier: For babies between 13 – 25 lbs. Soft yet keeps its stability and form. $129 at shop.lalabu.com

• The Happy Baby Original: Easy to use and store. Has an option to back carry. Holds up to 45 lbs. $155 at happybabycarriers.com

• Lillebaby CarryOn Airflow: Comfortable straps, back support, sunshade, and breathable. Holds up to 45 lbs. Insert for newborns. $149 at lillebaby.com

Editor’s Picks:

1. SoundSpa Sound Machine: Compact and portable with six sounds, and battery operated/ wall plug-in. $23.99 at homedics.com

2. Hatch Rest Sound Machine: Has a phone app and can be used as a night light. Also has feature that signals an acceptable time to wake up. $69.99 – $89.99 at hatch.co

3. Keekaroo Peanut Changer: Wipeable changing pad. $139 at keekaroo.com

4. Love to Dream Swaddle Up: Convenient double zipper for diaper changes. $32.99 at lovetodream.com

5. Ergo Baby 360 Carrier: Grows with baby. Easy to adjust and super quick to strap on. $139 at ergobaby.com

6. Baby Brezza Formula Mixing Pitcher: Quiet motorized pitcher mixes formula automatically at the press of a button. $21.99 at babybrezza.com

7. WiHoo Mini Stroller Fan: A must in the AZ summer heat. Easily attaches to many items: stroller, car seat, or hospital bed during labor. $27.99 at amazon.com or $32.43 at walmart.com

Hand-picked by Kate

Baby Shower Gift Ideas

Mom-to-be doesn’t have a registry? Or maybe you need something extra to tuck in the gift bag? Here are some unique and adorable ideas to keep in mind for your next baby shower!

1. Muslin Swaddles

With lots of cute designs, Little Unicorn offers generously sized muslin swaddles which are great for car seat covers, nursing covers, blankets, and more. My little ones have all loved these blankets and we have lots in rotation even into toddlerhood! littleunicorn.com/collections/lu-swaddles

2. Wood Milestone Signs

Those first few weeks and months fly by! So make sure new parents have an easy way to document the baby’s first year. Plus–they’re cute enough to reuse for future babies! We didn’t start using these until baby #3 and I wish I had these photos with all the kids. cadenlane.com/products/hs-duo-script

3. Lovey

These adorable loveys make a great gift and while they might not be used right off the bat they’ll become a cherished toy in no time. None of my babies have used pacifiers but they all loved to snuggle their loveys–especially when tired or sick. These are some of our favorites. Pro tip: buy two, in case one is lost or in the wash! etsy.com or littlesleepies.com/collections/lovies

4. Sogg.E. Bear Teething Ring

This sweet bear is pulling double duty! Not only is it a great teething toy, but it also soaks up drool! Plus, as a bonus–it’s small enough for the diaper bag. This little bear has been a lifesaver during the first year! We loved to get it wet and put it in the freezer for extra comfort for sore gums. etsy.com

5. New Parent Decision Coin

Bring a little humor to those first few weeks with this token. It’s easy to customize and new parents can flip it to decide who handles the next blow out! etsy.com

6. Education Savings Fund

One of the best gifts my parents have gifted my own kids is an education savings fund. They deposit sums of money at birth (when the social security number is given), birthdays, and Christmas. You can find out more about it at AZ529.gov. If you’re close with the parents-to-be this might be an incredible gift to consider. It might seem like an ‘boring’ gift but in actuality you’re giving the gift of the future. But feel free to add one of the cute gifts above as well!

Editor’s Picks

7. Baby Books

For my baby shower, I asked that people bring a book instead of a card to help me grow a mini baby library. Guests signed the inside of the book and it’s always such a sweet sentiment to see before reading it to the baby. Aside from board books, some of my favorites have been the Indestructibles. They are chew proof, rip proof, non-toxic, and 100% washable. workman.com/brands/indestructibles

8. Small Self-Care Items for the New Parents

I remember opening up some of my baby shower gifts and in addition to something off my registry for the baby, a few people included some small self-care items for my husband and me. I thought it was so thoughtful. These could be things such as hand cream, face sheet masks, a magazine (a copy of RAK would be so fitting!), bubble bath, or lip balm.

9. Medicines and Ointments

My husband is a nurse and a few of his coworkers threw him a baby shower. Leave it to the nurses to gift us things like baby Tylenol, a thermometer, nose saline, and diaper rash cream. But I wasn’t complaining– these made for very practical gifts and definitely things we would use.

10. Other Gift Ideas

You can also consider the gift of house cleaning services, meal delivery, or gift cards! Gifts that definitely won’t go unused or unappreciated.

Locally Owned M om my & Me Shops

Kins & Kay

This Tucson-owned company was started by a mom of three who discovered her passion and creative outlet of sewing after having kids.

From maternity robes, swaddles, and family-matching ensembles, Kins & Kay offers a wide-variety of mix and match apparel for everyone in the family and even has an array of gender neutral options.

Shop their matching Christmas pajama sets with festive prints sure to get you in the holiday spirit! It’s also perfect for finding Mommy and Me matching robes and swaddles for those precious newborn photos. kinsandkay.com

Zoolikins

Zoolikins is a mother owned and operated children’s boutique in Old Town Scottsdale offering a selection of carefully curated products including toys, books, clothing, teething items, and more.

Beyond the products it sells, Zoolikins also strives to offer a sense of support and community. The team of moms is always happy to let you in on products they swear by or to be a place of refuge when you just need to get out of the house with your little one.

Open Monday – Sunday, 9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. 7118 E. 5th Ave. Scottsdale AZ, 85251 or shop online at zoolikins.com

Kins & Kay: Mommy & Me Wrap Dress and Baby Girl Swaddle Blanket & Headband Set.

Kinsa: QuickCare Smart Thermometer.

Honest: Me Time for Momma Daily Indulgence Gift Set.

M a t erni ty M u st-Ha ve s from a

seasoned mom (of almost 4)!

By Kate Reed

Maternity to baby- wearing winter coat

1. Sub Zero 3 in 1 Winter Maternity Parka

Since I’m new to winter weather in Northern Arizona I decided to look into a recommended brand, Seraphine, for a new coat. Great for freezing temperatures and works for maternity, baby wearing, and beyond! $385 at seraphine.com

2. Maternity Clothes

My favorite maternity clothes come from Pink Blush Maternity and this winter I’m rocking oversized sweaters and comfortable jeans. I also love the jogger sets for chilly days around the house. pinkblushmaternity.com

3. Snoogle Body Pillow

Once your belly begins to expand, you might find it’s difficult to sleep. Much to my husband’s dismay-this huge pillow is a life saver and allows me to comfortably rest at night. Also a Snoogle Jr. Child Pillow is available. $69.99 at leachco.com

Pink Blush: Grey Boat Neck Bubble Sleeve Maternity Sweater & Blue Distressed Cuffed Maternity Jeans

Belly Butter

4. Earth Mama Belly Butter

Even though I’m not terribly concerned with stretch marks I don’t enjoy the stretching sensation that leaves my belly mildly itchy. I make sure to use a lotion after I shower to keep it hydrated. I love these ones from Earth Mama Organics! $21.99 at earthmamaorganics.com

Hydration

5. Joey’z Fruit Infuser Water Pitcher

If you aren’t a fan of plain water (like me!) then you might love the Fruit Infuser Water Pitcher. Fill it with your favorite fruits and allow it to infuse. Drink this all day and you won’t mind the water! Don’t forget to add some electrolytes during the day to maximize hydration. $19.89 at amazon.com or walmart.com

Labor and postpartum

Every delivery is different but after a few babies (in a hospital, birth center, and next: home birth!) I know what I love to have on hand for labor. Here’s what I have ready for my 4th boy due this March.

6. Labor-Less Delivery Essential Oil

This oil is great for soothing nausea, headaches, fatigue, and anxiety of childbirth. Although sometimes during childbirth I can’t stand the smell of any essential oils, I’ve ordered this one for the next delivery just in case! $16.95 at edensgarden.com

7. Take Care Down: Postpartum Recovery Kit

After delivery you’re going to need a little extra support…down there. Go ahead and order some perineal spray and sitz bath to soothe the pain. $37.97 at earthmamaorganics.com

8. After Ea se Postpartum C ramp Tincture

Those after-birth cramps are no joke! And they get worse with each birth. With number four’s due date approaching I’m dreading those painful cramps when nursing. Sometimes these pains can be worse than contractions during labor! Don’t be surprised if it catches you off guard. I used this tincture with my last birth and plan on having it on hand again! $19,99 at wishgardenherbs.com

9. Mommas Tata Tasties Bakery

These calorie-dense breastfeeding cookies and brownies are excellent for lactation because of their special ingredients. I love to buy a big batch and freeze them. They’re locally made and offer unique, seasonal flavors! facebook.commommastatatasties

Editor’s Picks

1. Easy slip-on shoes

Once my belly got in the way, it was so hard to bend down and tie or buckle shoes. I loved Kizik shoes and bought multiple pairs. They market themselves as “The easiest shoes you’ll ever put on. No tying, no heel crushing, and no hands necessary” and I absolutely found it to be true. But any good slip-on shoe will help! kizik.com

2. Papaya Enzymes

I had terrible acid reflux during the second half of my pregnancy–something I had never experienced before. My midwife recommended papaya enzymes –they’re similar to Tums but in my opinion, they taste a little better and are more of a natural alternative. They can also be taken in conjunction with other antacids which was a lifesaver for me to have multiple options when it got really bad. Of course, check with your provider before taking them. $6.79 at walgreens.com

3. Prenatal Massage

Ok, so this isn’t an “item” but it is a must-have in my opinion! You usually have to be out of the first trimester to get a prenatal massage (talk with your OB to make sure you’re safe to get one) but if you’re given the all clear, do yourself a favor and find a good place to get a massage! It’s important your massage therapist really understands how to safely give a massage when you’re pregnant, so be sure to ask how they will position you during the massage and if they have special pillows for you to lay on during it. I loved Ryken Wellness (locations in Gilbert and Chandler) for my prenatal massages.

The Nest Prep Providing Nourishing Meals for

Postpartum Parents

By Monique Seleen

PARENTHOOD IS EXHAUSTING. Whether it’s your first or your fifth, there’s a lot that goes into adapting to your new way of life.

When my husband and I were in the thick of those newborn days with our son, we relied on take out, delivery, or the graciousness of my mom to feed us when we were too tired to think about cooking.

While I did prepare a few freezer meals ahead of time, they were eaten up quickly and I didn’t have it in me to make more when I was recovering from childbirth.

That’s exactly what led Phoenix mom of three, Madelyn Ellis, to start The Nest Prep—a meal service company for new and expectant parents meant to take the stress out of prepping and cooking meals by doing it all for you and delivering them right to your doorstep.

The idea for The Nest Prep has been years in the making. Madelyn first thought of it while pregnant with her first daughter, but got busy with her job, the new baby, and life in general.

It wasn’t until 2021 when pregnant with her third and getting ready to make a bunch of freezer meals to prepare for the birth, that Madelyn revisited the idea again.

“My good friend was also pregnant at the time and she hated meal prepping so I told her I would love to do it for her,” Madelyn said. “That made me wonder if the name—The Nest Prep—that I had thought of years ago was still available.”

Fortunately, it was and Madelyn secured the name on social media and as a website domain, and spent the next year slowly building the bones of the business.

“I spent time developing the website and trying to learn about social media marketing,” she said. “There’s been a huge learning curve trying to figure it all out.”

After over a year of perfecting the menu, building a website, designing labels, trying out different container options, and more, Madelyn officially launched The Nest Prep on August 8, 2022, leaving her nutritionist job in the local school district to pursue the business fulltime.

Customers can find a variety of menu options for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even dessert! Suitable for all different likes, dietary restrictions and preferences, The Nest Prep offers dishes such as oatmeal bakes, muffins, burritos, pasta dishes, enchiladas, burger patties, soups, energy bites, and even edible cookie dough.

“It’s really just about providing good food for people,” said Madelyn. “The focus is not about getting your body back or losing weight but honoring what your body has done and the journey that

you’re on and taking that burden of meal prepping and planning away from new moms.”

With a Bachelor of Science degree in Nutrition and concentrations in both dietetics and foodservice management, a child nutrition certification, and years of nutrition management, Madelyn strives to not only create exceptional flavor profiles but said she especially likes to take into consideration the nutritional needs of moms.

“Anybody can have it, but it really is focused on postpartum moms,” she said. “I try to focus on essentials for breastfeeding moms too, being mindful of lactation-boosting ingredients to add in when possible, and incorporating lots of fruits and vegetables for both nutrition and energy.”

The Nest Prep also offers gifting options so you can give the gift of meals to an expectant family.

“I hope that people feel like it takes some of that decision-making off their plate but I also hope that they feel that someone really cares about the phase of life that they’re in and wants to help,” said Madelyn. “It’s so important to be able to take care of the new mom and if I can lend to that and be a part of that village in any way, I feel really grateful.” To find out more, or to place an order, visit thenestprep.com

Anthem South Pre-K-12

Gilbert K-6

Gilbert North K-12

Gilbert South Pre-K-6

Ironwood K-12

Mesa Pre-K-6

Queen Creek K-12

San Tan Valley K-6

Signal Butte Pre-K-6

Virtual K-12

Applied Tech. Pre-K & 9-12

West Foothills Pre-K-12