qmunicate special freshers week issue 2 • 11/09/12 • www.qmu.org.uk
REVIEWS&PREVIEWS
YESTERDAY
We hope you didn’t miss it Our really useful pub quiz provided a really useful excuse to sit around drinking all afternoon (as if you need an excuse). Questions were on Glasgow bands, university and Glasgow city trivia, those paying attention to freshers helpers t-shirts and QM bar prices were at an advantage. GUSA contributed two sports rounds and we ended on a science one. Sweets were flung around the room throughout as prizes, but the real prizes were reserved for the glorious winners. ‘The Rebel Alliance’ won the prize for best team name, beating ‘Zombie Nation’, ‘Sexual Chocolate’ and ‘Who’s Jim’ amoungst others. ‘If your ma wasnae you ma would ya?’ took the overall victory with style, winning a vast array of accolades. [Theo Wheately] Drumsound and Bassline Smith and Jakwob put on an incredible night of Drum and Bass and Dubstep in Qudos Highlights of the evening included D&BS remix of (X), a really inventive reworking of a classic tune which got the crowd absolutely mad wie it. Jakwob laid down some fantastic pieces of dubstep brilliance such as (Z) This was a fucking incredible night with the best tunes, the best crowd and the best union in Glasgow.
DAY EVENT
We give you the scoop on what to expect At 1 o’clock This afternoon is your introduction to another QMU institution: Unplugged. Today’s line-up is includes some of the finest up-and-coming Scottish bands, in an intimate unplugged environment. Today’s host is Paul Gibson of excellent Glasgow indie folk outfit Crow Road who will be sure to look after you all and keep you entertained. Make Sparks are a three piece from Dundee who have been making sparks fly with their infectious, gritty pop rock since their early teens. Cheery indie chappies Huevo and the Giant will likely have no problem serving up an unplugged set that’s bound to put a smile on your face and stick a few melodies in your head. “Bubblegum rock” is the odd label Poor Things attach to themselves. Have no fear, however, theirs is a very pleasant blend of hazy, upbeat indie rock: the sound of a hot, lazy summer. Kith & Kin are a truly gorgeous-sounding subtle folk outfit with a lot to offer besides a relaxed sound and a Scottish accent. These guys are a true gem among the rather swollen body of small time Glasgow folk bands, and a potential highlight for the afternoon. [Ali Begg]
NIGHT EVENTS
Alasdair Begg demands you “Mosh the fuck out” So having just had an awesome night at Drumsound and Bassline Smith with Jakwob, followed by a smooth recovery (hopefully), you may fancy swapping the electronic beats for the organic. Although ‘organic’ may not be the best descriptor for a line-up of three bands that could more accurately be called ‘tits mental’, this is most certainly the place to be tonight. First up will be Bear Arms, an impressively powerful band of four Glaswegians with a lot of noise to make. Although firmly rooted in post-hardcore soil, the token heap of monstrous riffs and occasional screaming is juxtaposed with... well, everything from Balls out grooves to sincere intimate passages. Vukovi are, in a word, incredible. Their first ever recording was aired on Radio 1 within two months of their formation and they have been climbing ever since, selling out shows all over Scotland with their crazy live energy and brilliant brand of female fronted alt rock. You will definitely not be disappointed. You will most likely be aware of Funeral for a Friend, who are by far the biggest name band playing anywhere this Fresher’s and are here to seal the night off in spectacular fashion. New stickman Pat Lundy [formerly drummer with Rise to Remain] will be keen to prove to fans that he can provide the power necessary to back such a huge act, and the energy is going to be very, very high. If you’re a mosher, come along and go nuts and if you’re not into that then have no fear, nobody’s chasing you round looking for a fight and the bands tonight are all incredible. Get stuck in. [Ali Begg]
WEST END BRILLIANCE
Now, picking up this magazine pretty much guarantees that you know where the party’s at. The QM’s got two bars, its own club, a coffee bar and a shop with all your university needs, but here’s some other places to go in the West End! If you’re thinking about getting some fresh air (Which I find vastly overrated) there’s 2 great parks just 5 minutes from our lovely union that you should get acquainted with. Botanic Gardens is at the top of Byres Road and has been around since 1817, and parks only get better with age, like wine or universities. If you’re wanting another fix of that sweet, sweet nature, head on down to Kelvingrove Park for a walk down the river and before you know it you’ll be in the centre of Glasgow! If you’re looking to kit out your flat, find a new comic or a record or two, look no further than Ruthven Lane. Just opposite Hillhead Subway Station, the lane is a gem of the West End, with tons of great old furniture, guitars and, well, pretty much anything you can think of. Its got City Centre Comics, where you can spend hours perusing through old issues and finding exactly the comic you’re looking for. A big draw into the Lane is Play It Again, a second hand record shop where you can always get a good deal on brilliant old vinyl. With a huge variation of things available Ruthven Lane is the best place in the West End to get fancy vintage or second hand goods for the best price! The West End is the best place in Glasgow to be and these places are just a small fraction of the great shops you can find around the place. Get out and enjoy everything we’ve got to offer! [Andy Mac]
PREVIEWS&FUN STUFF
Andy Mac gives you some ideas for what to get up to in the West End
YOUR HALLS
MURANO STREET Where dreams are made!
The greatest place on Earth… Well maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it’s not far off. Let’s start with the location. Maryhill. Not exactly somewhere you would want to live for more than the 9 months you have to, but there’s a giant Tesco 10 minutes away and more cheap booze shops than you could ever wish for. There’s also the beautiful Ruchill (that’s pronounced Ruck-hill) Park just a stone’s throw behind Sidlaw house. Trust me when I say it’s a stone’s throw away. You may hear rumours that the park is the cocaine capital of the world or something to that effect, but as long as you don’t go near the occasional NED, you’ll be fine. The next thing I should probably mention is the law in Glasgow that stops you from drinking on the street. The main street that runs through Murano isn’t private and the police often patrol at night for your safety, but if you’re going to drink make sure you do it before you go outside or you’ll be £40 lighter. Drinking is of course something you’ll be doing a lot of during your stay. From the day you move in and QM fresher helpers barge their way into your flat with the promise of alcohol and a good time, to the massive post-exam parties. If you live with a senior resident, make sure you’re friendly so they don’t tell the Warden about any shenanigans you may get up to because they’re his ears around Murano. One final tip to make sure your stay in the greatest place on Earth doesn’t start badly: Lock your door during Freshers’ week. Chances are you won’t know half of the people coming into your flat and it’s better to be safe than lose your brand new laptop. Now you’ve read this, get something to drink and if you’re in Murano and you hear a noise, get a crate of Bier D’Or and go towards it. You’ll have fun. [Jake Casson]
SAFE DRINKING
Veterans of boozing let you know how to make sure it doesn’t ruin your night out.
Right, this article is about alcohol and safe drinking and thus has the opportunity to be dry as fuck, for this reason we’re going to try keep it simple. There are a couple of things you can do to stop yourself from getting stupid drunk; as being a tit and blacking out, believe it or not, can ruin a good night out. It’s very important, especially if it’s one of your first times, to know your limits. Yes, despite popular belief, you can have a good night out on the lash and still be able to remember it all the next day. Freshers’ Week has the potential to be one of the best weeks of your life, but you’d be better recalling it. We know that a lot of you will be pre-drinking before coming out, and we account for that, but if you’re daft enough to get so wasted that you can’t string a sentence together don’t be surprised if you don’t get in. Similar advice for when you’re in the union, getting too drunk to see will inevitably get you thrown out; it ain’t rocket science. If you feel yourself getting too drunk on a night out don’t feel ashamed to ask for a pint of water at the bar. Similar goes for when you see a flatmate/friend/total stranger getting a little too plastered, get them to sober up or risk them getting thrown out. A good reason for avoiding this is that someone has to be responsible for them, and if it’s you that’s the end of your night as well. An important piece of information that is worth remembering wherever you go (though it should be the union etc etc) is don’t leave your drink unattended, it’s just not worth the risk; be it party or club, leave it with a mate to look after or take it with you. Campaigns and Charities committee runs every Monday at 5 o’clock. We run free condoms & fundraising and welcome new ideas and involvement; most often with a pint during and/or after meetings. [Robin Callaghan]
WE SAW YOU
YOUR UNION Explaining the Union.
Unions man; how do they work? You probably are a bit confused about what the Queen Margaret Union actually is does, who runs it and such. Don’t fret, I’m here to help you get your head around this wonderful but initially confusing organisation. The Queen Margaret Union is a members only licensed union for the use of the students of Glasgow University which serves their needs in a broad spectrum of areas. These areas include entertainment, food, washing facilities (for yourself and your clothes), a shop for all your needs, three bars for boozing, committee rooms for meetings, tv’s and projector screens for watching sky and last but not least, the only pick and mix on campus. But what is this members only business? Well in effect to enter the Queen Margaret Union most nights in the year, you have to have membership of the Union, but that’s not all membership is. Membership entitles you to be part of a democratic vote to appoint student representatives to the Board of Management, right up to the President. Membership also carries a large number of benefits, including; shop discount, the ability to sign non-members in, the ability to book committee rooms, the ability to vote on major union issues at our AGM and discount on QMU clubnight events! Being a member of the QMU is both stacked with material benefits and a great source of pride to many, it’s about taking part in and advantage of a great campus resource which can help enrich and shape your time here. It really can be your union, I strongly encourage you to join it, it’s one of the most valuable experiences this campus has to offer. [Tom Kelly]
CROSSWORD PUZZLE FUN.
Across 2. Kate ___’ Wuthering Heights singer 5. A feeling of personal embarresment 7. Lazy, not doing anything 8. Something you would find in a boys toilet 9. TV show featuring Dennis Waterman 11. Type of bread, often served with kebab 12.To wrap or enclose 16. What Jay Z does 17. Type of TV screen 21. Messy, not in order 22. Person who inherits after someone’s death 23. A being from another planet 24. Without effort
Down 1. 40-40 in tennis, 2. The very top edge of a glass, 3. ‘____ Hospital, Children’s claymation animated TV program, 4. Opposite of most, 5. adjective of a slug, 6. Word said at the end of a prayer, 10. To increase the speed of an engine, 12.Band who sung ‘Sometimes’ and ‘A little respect’ , 13. Fat ___’ Sum 41 song, 14. ___cross, halls of residence, 15. Opposite of day, 18. Faithful, to a person or an oath 19. Female Indian dress, 20. Rent The answers to this crossword can be found online tommorow at www.qmunicate.wordpress.com
UP THE JAGS
Why you, and everyone else, should support Partick Thistle Arriving in Glasgow, you realise football becomes more like clan warfare than anywhere else. Two armies, of royal blue and green & white dominate this city, and indeed the rest of Scotland. Why then would you support the third party, the eternal underdog that is Partick Thistle? When I first came to Glasgow football wasn’t really my thing. However, perhaps aided by the football heavy environment of Glasgow it began to capture my imagination. Pretty soon it was time to pick a side, and the choice was pretty clear. Partick play at Firhill, barely any walk from Murano Street halls. At £12 at the turnstile for students, it fits into the student budget. So that’s all nice and practical, but there were reasons more fundamental. Partick Thistle need me, and they need you too. Attendances at grounds across the country are waning, and it’s the little clubs that are hit the hardest. That £12 is precious to the club, who have experienced the perils of financial problems in the past. Also, having not been born into the tribal politics of the Old Firm divide I felt I could never really immerse myself in it. It is politics based on a different era, and it doesn’t feel like it’s any of my business. In the face of two great leviathans Partick stands tall in garish red and yellow, like a footballing David against two Goliaths. Sure we (because if you support a team, you get to refer to them as ‘we’) won’t win the SPL, we might not even get promoted from the First Division (although we have had a great start to the season). But Division One is a great place to be, because the victory really is anyone’s for the taking. Ross County dominated last season, but only after finishing 8th the previous season. A loss or a victory can send you flying around the table, and this makes it often as much about other teams results as your own. Suddenly you’re praising and cursing other sides as if they’re your own. But they’re not, and at the end of the day (to use a stock footballing cliche) it’s about consistency. There’s no rest for the sinners who play in Division 1. Partick Thistle’s current stretch in this purgatory began in the 2006-7 season, and every season it’s all to play for, everyobody’s a contender. That’s more than you can say for the SPL. I speak having been a regular at Firhill since I was in Murano Halls. Therefore, I speak with the benefit of hindsight about the Jags, which you (I assume) don’t have. It has always been a British tradition to support the underdog. Two giant titans rule the Scottish football roost, the epic battle between them sweeping all other concerns aside. How poetic then if one of these comparative dwarfs rose up to challenge them and beat them, right from under their noses. It would be a football fairytale, and of course it hasn’t happened yet, but belief is a great thing. Your football team becomes not just a result on an accumulator, but the paradigm of all that is virtuous. Like an oppressed nation throwing off its conquerors, like that time when you finally beat your older sibling at something, it would be a moment of true vindication of all you believe in. It is for this dream that I support Partick, and implore you to also. Call it mad, call it a long shot, but I have faith in the Jags. You should too. [Theo Wheatley]
BRIAN BRISTLETWAT: ADVICE FOR DEAR YOUNG FRESHERS He’s just trying to help, honest
I SAW YOU Hey! Wanna rat out your mates on their amazing exploits and embarassing adventures where everyone can see? Text 07766404142 starting with ‘qmu’ and we’ll publish them right here the next day! I saw you, dead people. I saw you GUU helpers with your shite chants. I saw you Tom Kelly googling hitmen I saw you daniel from QMR smashing a glass off your wrist claiming it wouldn’t break. It did. I saw you rob cook being a lad! I saw you QMU being the better union (na na na na!) I saw you team get it pumped getting it pumped I saw you Ciaran, pretending to live in the woods but being scared of squirrels. I saw you team pubs drowning in your own stench as you make magic happen I saw you slut dropping a turnip in qudos.. I saw you I saw you James Harrison being all the beige I saw you Kayleigh Smith pulling EVERY NIGHT I saw you fwelpers stuck in twister stalemate. I saw you Paul Kelly, and then I couldn’t find you again for hours I saw you jo nelson befriending skrillex I saw you Theo, wasting your time at firhill. I saw you Pigeon Pat, QM til you died. I SAW YOU harry styles break the toilet I saw you Kevin. Where is Kevin? I saw you captain ironpants losing your leggings at murano street, you filthy thing.
CREDITS Editors/ Absolute Lads
Theo ‘The Power’ Wheatley, Tom Kelly, Andy Mac, Jake ‘Online Stuff’ Casson, Sean ‘Pretty Boy’ Iles, Ali Begg, Emma Jewson
Writers
Driver/Delivery Boy
Theo ‘The Power’ Wheatley, Tom Kelly, Ryan ‘Wunderkind’ McFarlane Andy Mac, Jake ‘Online Stuff’ Casson, Sean ‘Pretty Boy’ Iles, Ali Begg, Robin ‘Glowsticks’ Callaghan