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Project
“It takes one to know one.”
Letter from the Editor
Ponca City Monthly is a Member of the Society of Professional Journalists. We believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. We strive to ensure a free exchange of information that is accurate, fair and thorough. We pledge to: Seek the Truth, and Report It; Minimize Harm; Act Independently; and to Be Accountable and Transparent. To read our full pledge, visit: spj.org/ethicscode.asp
“We recognize in others what we carry in ourselves.”
“You spot it, you got it.”
No matter how you say it, the idea is the same: we tend to notice in others the very things we’re familiar with—whether they light us up or get under our skin.
The phrase “it takes one to know one” might sound like a playground comeback, but it’s actually rooted in something much deeper (and older). The idea goes all the way back to the ancient philosophers.
Plato believed we all hold an inner blueprint for things like truth, beauty, and justice. So when you admire someone’s kindness or
sharp wit, it’s not a fluke—you recognize it because some part of it already lives in you. You’ve seen it before—in yourself.
Aristotle added a practical twist: we learn about qualities like courage or compassion through experience. That’s how we come to know them deeply—by living them. So when you recognize courage in someone else, it might be because you’ve been brave too.
Modern psychology agrees. Freud called it projection—when our brains cast our own thoughts and feelings onto others. Ever met someone who always assumes the worst in people? Or sees liars and cheaters around every corner? That might say more about their inner world than anyone else’s.
But here’s the good news: this mirror works both ways. When you admire someone’s
patience, humor, or creativity, it’s likely because those things matter to you—and maybe even reflect who you are at your best.
So if you find yourself drawn to kind, funny, generous people, take it as a compliment. Your radar might be tuned to those frequencies because you carry them yourself.
And when someone rubs you the wrong way? Maybe it’s not a flaw—it’s just something unfinished in your own story. A nudge. A lesson. A chance to grow.
In the end, the way we see others is often a reflection of how we see ourselves. So keep looking for the good. You might be surprised by just how much of it comes shining back.
editor@poncacitymonthly.com
New ICON Theater to Reopen at AMC Site
Create Jobs and Revitalize Entertainment Scene
Story by Chelsea McConnell | Staff Writer
Ponca City Development Authority (PCDA) is our local economic development engine. An awardwinning and accredited economic development organization, PCDA was developed to help facilitate industry growth in our community, but their scope and reach goes so much further than that. They are invested in ensuring that Ponca City grows in every way. An important focus in economic development is workforce. PCDA’s Ponca Works program is dedicated to connecting local employers with the skilled individuals they need to grow their businesses. A key element to attracting workers is being able to show them a vibrant and thriving community.
When Ponca City’s AMC Theater closed permanently in 2020, PCDA staff saw what a blow this was to our community. They knew losing this avenue of entertainment would affect workforce recruitment. Per the stipulations of their trust, PCDA has always been able to incentivize entertainment. First-class entertainment is key to job recruitment and retention. Plain and simple, people don’t want to move to a community that doesn’t offer much to do. PCDA staff had discussed incentivizing a movie Theater for more than 10 years but knew the right project would need to come along at the right time to ensure maximum benefit for Ponca City and its citizens.
As the economy began to climb out of the COVID-19 slump, PCDA staff watched the movie industry begin to rebound. They did their due diligence, watched the numbers and created reports about what was going on in the film industry. What they saw made them realize it may be time to pursue bringing a Theater back to Ponca City. They hired a consultant, Retail Attractions, that specializes in connecting economic developers with successful businesses. It was through this consulting agency that PCDA connected with ICON Cinemas Theater owner Stetson Snell. PCDA purchased the AMC property and signed a seven-year lease-to-own contract with ICON Cinemas. Liz Leaming with
Marland’s Grand Home Holds Both History and Elegance!
Turn the clock back to the 1920’s. The rich history of the Marland’s unfolds before your eyes as you explore the Marland Era, the wild west with the 101 Ranch, celebrate the heritage of the American Indians and the proud heritage of our country with the Daughters of the Revolution. Each are housed in Marland’s Grand Home. Whether you want to delve into the history, or celebrate an event, Marland’s Grand Home provides endless possibilities.
Mon. thru Sat. 10-5
Schooners would like to thank your 2025 Cruizin Grand and Car Show participants, spectators, & supporters listed below, for a very successful event. The next Schooners Cruizin Grand & Car Show will be held in June 2026.
101 Wild West Rodeo
Heather Cannon Honda
Wynn’s Thrift
Danny’s BBQ Head Quarters
The Ponca City Police
A+ Printing
Anderson Flooring
Big Hill Trading Co. & Pawn
Blanton Chiropractic
Champlin Motors
Domino’s Pizza
Heartland Tank
A percentage of June sales will be donated to them when you scan this code to order.
Coney w/side & drink $949
Wednesday: Bacon
Cheeseburger Single Combo $1049; Chili Cheeseburger Single Combo $1049
Thursday: Any Salad with drink $999
Friday: BBQ, Jalapeno OR Onion Burger Single Combos $989
Tyner’s Transmission
Alley Cat Speed Shop First National Bank
RCB Bank
Cary’s Septic Highway 60 Tire
Nicholson Auction & Real Estate
Osage Trading Company
Powell Electric
Steve’s Service
The Assurance Group
Trackside Auto
The LOFTS at Grand
Come be a part of Ponca City history as one of the first to live in these fully re-developed, brand new 1 bedroom/1 bathroom apartments on the second floor of the former Pabst Building, now called The Lofts at Grand in the heart of Downtown Ponca City, OK .
Call today to schedule your tour of this fantastic building!
580-749-0585
The unit features high ceilings and large windows with views of both Second Street and Grand Avenue. You will fall in love with the beautiful original exposed brick that adds warmth and character. The unit welcomes you with modern LVP flooring, sleek fixtures, and new bathrooms.
The contemporary kitchen includes high end amenities with stainless steel appliances including refrigerator, dishwasher, microwave, and range/ oven. The unit has a dedicated washer/dryer closet and digital keypad entry for secure and convenient access.
Enjoy the walkable downtown lifestyle with coffee shops, restaurants, bars, and retail stores just steps from your door. This is modern living with historic charm right in the heart of Ponca City!
SEPTIC
PCDA explains, “They will pay us a lease rate each month to operate the Theater and have to keep it open for at least that period of time. They are doing all the renovations. Over the course of the contract, the economic impact of this Theater is going to be over $10,000,000 to the Ponca City Community.”
Stetson Snell, owner of Ponca City’s future ICON Cinema, is just as excited about this new venture as PCDA staff. ICON Cinemas are owned by several Snell family members. There are ICON Cinema Theaters in New Mexico, Texas, Colorado and Oklahoma so they are not new to the Theater business. Snell and his team have been doing behind-the-scenes prep work for a few months and are ready to start making big changes. Now that permits are in place, the true renovation work will begin, and improvements will soon be noticeable. They will be remodeling the entire facility and getting brand-new projection equipment. They plan to be open later this year.
ICON Cinemas pride themselves with providing first-class entertainment for their customers, and the Ponca City location will be no different. Seeing a movie at the ICON will be an experience. The Theater will maintain its four-screen footprint, but the upgrades will be five-star. Each Theater will have
105 luxury recliners. The first row will feature deluxe chaise lounge recliners. ICON wants to make the movie-going experience family friendly for the Ponca City community, so they will offer unlimited refills on drinks and popcorn for the duration of your movie. This will include their line of Icee products. The other refreshments on offer will include fun additions like a full ice cream bar with Dippin’ Dots ice cream. They will also be licensed to sell beer, wine and frozen daiquiris.
This project will also bring jobs to our community. ICON plans to hire a general manager, assistant managers and other staff to run the various operations. This will create around 15 year-round jobs, with even more in the summer as they hope to employ teens looking for summer jobs.
that happen.
ICON Cinemas is bringing firstclass entertainment to Ponca City with this new movie Theater, but it’s so much more than that. The ripple effect of this Theater will be big for Ponca City. It will create jobs. It will keep people in Ponca City and bring people from out of town to
Ponca City is a thriving community and a wonderful place to live. It’s an incredible thing that we have an organization with employees that care so deeply for our community; they held onto the dream of supporting a local movie Theater for over 10 years. They waited until the perfect project came along that would have a positive economic impact for Ponca City. Then when it coincided with a local movement from the Poncan, they made the effort to support that too. They deserve unlimited refills on all their drinks and popcorn when they visit ICON Cinemas. Oh, wait …
For more information, visit ICON Cinemas website at www.iconcinemas.com to check for updates about the Ponca City location. Contact information for the Theater will be listed there as soon as it’s available. PCM
Ironically, around the same time PCDA signed the contract with ICON Cinemas, our beloved Poncan Poncan announced they had received partial funding from the Renfro Family Foundation to purchase state-of-the-art equipment and would begin showing firstrun movies again. A key value of PCDA is building community, so they knew they wanted to support the Poncan Theatre in their venture. After some back-and-forth discussions about what would be best for the Theater, PCDA gave them a retention bonus to help them cover the cost of the equipment. The Theater can continue to showcase children’s Theater with the Evans Children’s Academy, show first-run movies and not have to worry about continuing to fundraise to pay off the expensive equipment.
The AMC Theater located on 14th Street across from Walmart in Ponca City closed in November 2020 as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Renovations are currently underway and the theater is expected to re-open with a new owner and a new name - ICON Cinemas in late 2025.
Stetson Snell, Owner of Ponca City Icon Cinema Location
Ponca City Bowmen’s Archery Range: A Place for All Ages
Story by Marlys Cervantes | Staff Writer
“Archery is not a sport of instant gratification. It’s a pursuit that rewards patience, practice, and perseverance.”
~ Brady Ellison, Olympic Archer
Whether you want an individual challenge or an activity to do with the whole family, Bowmen’s Archery Range is the place for you. Nestled just outside of Ponca City on Prentice Road, it is a beautiful 33 acres of sport and fun.
“It is so much fun to watch these kids, and even adults, that come out here when they’ve never shot 3D.”
If you have a group or family gathering and need a good place, the location is wonderful for those who enjoy the outdoors. There are all types of archery challenges, from 30+ 3D targets to an area that allows you to measure the distance of your shot. Some of these targets are even moving ones. It also has an archery Stump Course, better known as a Survival Course. The location even boasts a couple of grills for cooking out, places for camping in tents or small- to mid-sized travel trailers, all while being lakeside for fishing as well. The 3D course is designed to improve hunters’ skills, and many targets have a scoring range for challenges between people or for contests.
There has been an archery club since about 1953, according to Duke Miller, who has run the range for more than 20 years. After the organization rented the current land from the City of Ponca City, Miller and about five other men have continued to build the range and make it better. All work is volunteer, so they rely on interested people. Their cost from the city is not high, but they pay for their own insurance and upkeep. Miller keeps the trails trimmed and targets in good order. The relationship with the city and area law enforcement is a good one.
People can become members of the club, which gives them access to the range at any time. There are 60 current members who enjoy the range. There
are also groups who come in and rent it for specific events, such as for family reunions, birthday parties, law enforcement and cadaver dog training, and hunting groups to camp and then hunt in other areas (they can host about 25 campers). There is no hunting on the property, so many times deer and other live animals are seen walking around the range. One local beekeeper even maintains bee hives on the property. No weapons are allowed beyond the archery equipment, and no drugs or alcohol. They consider it a place that is fun and safe for all ages and where families can come for activities together. People come from all over, including Florida and Texas.
“We do goofy things. The more I can create, the more they (participants) like it.”
Last summer the RecPlex had a group of children to the range. Miller says that was a highlight. He enjoys it when he and other members teach younger generations to enjoy archery. They have the equipment to help children or even adults learn the craft of archery. Stillwater even brought a group, Kids Archery in School, to the range.
While they won’t have some of their ongoing activities in July and August due to the heat, other times they have Fun Shoots for the whole family a couple of times a month. It’s a family affair even for Miller since his wife June does the books and cooks the lunch for those events. One of the worries Miller has is that most of the people who come to those are not from Ponca City, and he would like to see more Ponca City people, especially youth and children, enjoy archery on this local range. He says, “We do goofy things. The more I can create, the more they (participants) like it.” He enjoys his work with the range and helping others enjoy archery. Miller was born in Wisconsin, but moved here when he was four years old. He’s lived here except for 22 years in the Navy and participated in archery on various bases during that time. June is from Scotland, but has merged right into being active in this community. They have a daughter who teaches at Union Elementary and a son who is in the Army.
In addition to Fun Shoots, the range also hosts major contests once or twice a year, usually associated with Oklahoma Traditional Bowhunters (OTB), with people from numerous places competing. Those who enjoy archery enjoy traveling to shoot on new ranges. YouTuber and archer Greg Richards, host of channel 3D Archery, even came to Ponca City about a year ago to shoot the course. In his video, he talks about the Stump Course that he shot before the 3D one: “Probably the most awesome, funnest and unique course in America.” Miller shot with him on his 3D shoot, and they obviously enjoyed their time on the course, even though it was a hot summer day.
Ponca City Bowmen hosted their last Fun Shoot at the end of June this year, but they will be back hosting Hunter’s Warmup in September. You can watch the dates of activities on their FB site, Ponca City Bowmen’s Archery Range. Miller and the other members would love to see more people in the Ponca City area become active in archery. Miller says, “It is so much fun to watch these kids, and even adults, that come out here when they’ve never shot 3D.”
If you are interested in membership, shooting archery or camping and enjoying all the area has to offer, contact Duke Miller at 580-761-4053. You might text to let him know what you would
like—he’s a busy man. The GPS location for the range is 36 43 26 N 97 0 21 W, but it will be locked unless you are a member or call to set up a time for Miller to show you all it has to offer for you or your group. This is absolutely a jewel here in Ponca City that is available for all ages, groups and individuals looking for more fun, challenging activities outdoors! PCM
Duke Miller by one of the covered areas that includes a grill for cooking
Various 3D targets on the range
Marland Estate Furniture Restoration
Story by Chelsea McConnell | Staff Writer
The Marland Mansion has been on a furniture restoration journey over the last few years. Locals know our beloved mansion as the former home of E.W. & Lydie Marland. We also know it as the venue for some of our favorite annual soirees, and we are passingly aware of the beauty and treasures contained therein that we’ve grown so accustomed to seeing. Typical of anything that was touched by the Marland wand of grandeur, there is almost always more to it than meets the eye— so it has been with the monumental furniture restoration project.
As fate would have it, a few years ago an incredibly talented furniture restoration expert was encouraged to visit the Marland Mansion. We will call this gentleman, “Tom.” Tom is a third-generation antique restorer, trained by his father and grandfather before him. Restoring priceless items is in his blood. He spouts off facts about pieces and projects in a way that lets you know this is a language he speaks. He and his team have restored over 300 pieces of furniture belonging to the Marland Mansion.
As we walk from room to room he points to pieces of furniture and shares the restoration challenges each presented. In reference to two panels on a cabinet, both no larger than a sheet of notebook paper, he says, “It took two weeks to restore those two panels. They were black—fish oil, that’s what they used
back then. It was the best finish you could use 150 years ago. But over the years, it just gets darker and darker and darker. Pretty soon, it’s black and you can’t see anything. There’s a bunch of pieces in here that were like that.” The panels Tom and his team cleaned up have a beautiful floral design on them that couldn’t be seen prior to restoration.
Tom talks about his first visit to the mansion and the piece that initially caught his eye. “We started walking around and I started seeing the furniture. The further I went, I was just dumbfounded. There was this piece sitting in the hallway up there, a Louis XV breakfront. I had never seen one in person. I’d seen them in books. I was like, ‘I need to talk to somebody about this.’”
That was when Tom met David Keathly and began to learn the story of the Marlands. Despite his already demanding workload, Tom soon began restoring furniture for the mansion. Tom and his team worked 16 hours a day for an entire month restoring the breakfront before returning it home
to the mansion. He expected oohs and aahs when he brought it back, but reports the staff met him with stunned silence. They were so shocked by the result they couldn’t believe it was the same piece of furniture!
Most recently Tom has been working on restoring a dining room furniture set in the English Empire style. The set contains a curio, breakfront, buffet, server and a 60-foot-long dining room table with 17 leaves and 18 chairs. Twelve of the leaves and the chairs are still in the process of being refinished. The story of
how the table came back home is quite the tale.
Keathly got a call from a woman in Kansas who claimed to have the Marland’s dining room furniture. He consulted Tom after receiving the call. Tom was skeptical. He knew the claim would need to be authenticated, so he set about getting pictures and measurements of all the pieces. Based on that information, he knew the furniture was built in upstate New York. He then reached out to a contact in the antique world to determine who placed the original order. After some digging his contact came up with a name. She called Tom to share the news—the set is one-of-a-kind, but it wasn’t purchased by Marland. Tom called Keathly to relay the story. “I called David back. I was like, ‘Buddy, I’m sorry. It is a one-of-one set. But it wasn’t Marland’s. It’s a John Forsyth who ordered it.” Tom says Keathly nearly dropped the phone when he heard the name he knew so well. John Duncan Forsyth was the architect who designed the Marland Mansion. He ordered the table for the Marlands in 1927.
Upon recovering the pieces, Tom discovered
“We started walking around and I started seeing the furniture. The further I went, I was just dumbfounded. There was this piece sitting in the hallway up there, a Louis XV breakfront. I had never seen one in person. I’d seen them in books. I was like, ‘I need to talk to somebody about this.’”
they were stamped in the same manner as many of Marland’s other pieces. Of all the pieces Tom has restored, 99% of them are stamped with either “EW Marland,” “Marland Oil,” “Marland Estate” or “MV Marland” (Mary Virginia). The type
of ink used at the time leaves a very specific tell, so these stamps cannot be fabricated.
Tom and his team have been working on the table for around two years. Each of the 17 leaves were
warped from 40 years in storage, and the wood has had to be reshaped. Wood has a memory, so reshaping it takes time. The chairs have been quite an undertaking as well. The seats have seven layers of material, and each layer must be hand-stitched. Just one chair necessitates miles of hand-stitching to get them back in their original condition. Italian tapestry has been ordered that will match the original chair fabric.
Tom says he has a few more pieces left to restore before he is finished with his work at the Marland Mansion. The icing on the cake will be a virtual tour component he will help build once the restoration work is complete. Tom and a colleague will be cataloging all the furniture on the property. They will compile information like when and where
each piece was made, types of wood and other materials it’s comprised of and information on unique carvings and other aspects. The tour will be a treasure trove of information for history buffs and furniture lovers to revel in.
For more information regarding any of the furniture that has been so beautifully restored, visit the Marland Mansion at 901 Monument Road in Ponca City for a tour. All the exquisite items finished to date can be seen in person. Additional items are being added as restoration work is complete. Contact the mansion for tour times and further information at (580) 767-0420 or visit their website at www.marlandmansion.com. PCM
PROJECT TRANSFORMATION: Changing the Lives of Children Through a Reading Camp
Story by Marlys Cervantes | Staff Writer
Project Transformation (PT) is an eight-week nonprofit literacy program for elementary-age students that runs Monday through Thursday through June and most of July. Ponca City’s First United Methodist Church is one of the six locations chosen in Oklahoma to be a host site for 2025.
“I am excited to work with the children on literacy, STEM, art and other activities this summer. I see PT as a chance to give back to the youth and foster positive change and growth.”
~ Nena Willis, Team Coordinator for Ponca City Site
The first model of this nature was held in Dallas in 1998 with Oklahoma launching the program in 2002. According to the projecttransformation. org website, “The program model is designed to address three unique challenges with one program: 1) how to meet the academic, physical, social-emotional and spiritual needs of children; 2) how to provide meaningful ways for collegeage young adults to explore ministry opportunities and develop as young
leaders for the church and the world; and 3) how to support churches in connecting with their neighbors.”
Besides the local First United Methodist Church, which hosts 50 local students, additional site locations for this summer are El Reno at Wesley UMC; Muskogee at St. Paul UMC; Oklahoma City at Chapel Hill UMC; Shawnee at St. Paul’s UMC; and Tulsa at Southern Hills UMC. It is an outreach mission for their communities, and it generally involves the college-age workers who do much of the planning of lessons and activities and oversee many of them, as well as numerous volunteers, and a local coordinator hired by the host church. Emily Tamez, an educator with the public school system, is the program coordinator, and at FUMC, there are almost a hundred
volunteers, some who may work only a day or two and others who may come every week, or even multiple days each week. The reading/listening volunteers who are needed for a two-hour morning timeframe each day added up to 527 volunteer slots (since 17 are needed for the three shift rotations of the students) just for that piece of the program. Then, there are volunteers for all the other daily activities, check-in, breakfast and lunch and more. It is truly a passion project.
Leaders in the local church heard about the program at the United Methodist Annual Conference last year. Becky Hightower
heard Marla Lobo, Director of Oklahoma’s Project Transformation (PTOK), discuss the program and invited her to come talk to church members in Ponca City. Lobo is a United Methodist pastor, who grew up in Ponca City in the First Presbyterian Church. Members from FUMC and First Presbyterian Church, their partner church, were all in favor of hosting in Ponca City. After much initial preparation, the program almost did not happen after AmeriCorps was eliminated as a federal program. This was the nonprofit agency that funded the collegeage workers for Project Transformation. However, the local team knew they needed to find the resources to keep the college leaders and serve the students in Ponca City, and PTOK felt the same and was able to fund the interns when OKUMC Conference Board of Trustees voted to give PTOK enough money to honor summer commitments. This gift was made possible through the previous giving of Oklahoma United Methodists. Local churches would still be responsible for securing the remainder of the
funding, as they had agreed to do. For FUMCPC, it was a fairly easy decision. The program fits the church’s mission of “Creating a Cultural Renewal,” so it was important to their mission outreach.
It is truly a community project, though, with funding, needed items and volunteers coming from a variety of places within the city. The funding of many aspects of the program has always been on the hosting church, with the previous exception of AmeriCorps funding the stipend and scholarship for the college students. A few of the funding avenues have been Oklahoma United Methodist Conference’s donation for books, a Mannering Foundation grant through United Way, a Dollar General grant, monies from FUMC, an FPC donation from a bequest from the Dick and Joanne Jones estate, the Ponca City Council of Garden Club and more. The lead team also secured food and funding for breakfast, lunch and snacks in various ways, including June food service at PCPS, the
Summer Feeding Program at the Oklahoma Food Bank, Ponca City Hospital Foundation, Sparks Family Foundation, Danny’s BBQ Head Quarters, Rusty Barrell and more. Sheila Foxworthy and Linda Sparks are setting up church members to host the college students for dinner a couple of times a week while they are here. According to lead volunteer Becky Hightower, many of the supplies have been purchased or procured by people from Albright, St. Paul’s and First United Methodist and First Presbyterian churches, along with businesses like The Buckle, Merrick’s, Dixie Dog, KFC and more donating items or gift cards. With all the volunteers needed for this, many organizations have volunteered groups to help along with the churches mentioned above. There are also groups of volunteers from First Baptist Church, the Noon Lions Club, Integris Health and more. It truly has taken a host of volunteers and supporters.
One of the major volunteers, supporters and leaders of Project Transformation is Pastor Leon Veazey, who says of its mission of community flourishing through meaningful relationships, education and resources, “Some of us were familiar with Project Transformation enough to know that it is a relevant program to our vision. In a state
that is ranked 49th in the nation in elementary reading levels, we believe the church needs to be part of the solution.” Veazey explains that this is a tried-and-true program to help meet the needs of elementary students with well-trained college students, who go through a designed training at the Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits prior to coming to the hosting site. “We get to build relationships with these kids, their families, a host of volunteers and members from other churches and our community who are helping plan and operate the two-month summer camp,” he says. “Kids not only improve their reading levels, which 97% of participants have historically, but will engage in activities in STEM, arts and crafts, music and recreation.” They will also go on field trips, such as to Standing Bear Museum & Education Center and “I Can Fly” with a pilot who teaches at the local Flight Academy. Pastor Veasey is committed to the program. As a matter of fact, during the planning time leading up to the summer, one of the needs was housing for the college-age workers since they should be housed together for their work. Pastor Veazey volunteered to turn his house over to them for the summer. It has four bedrooms, and the group can easily live there as they might if they traveled on vacation and rented a nice BNB. The students moved in a
few days before the beginning of the camp, and Pastor Veazey moved out. Another opportunity for support for the program came from this need. Church members Travis and Teri Harris loaned him their travel trailer for the two months, and local businessman and friend Jay Wagner, owner of Rivershire RV Resort & Camping, provided a discounted rate as an in-kind donation. It all comes together with the help of many.
It is easy to see how the program looks at the three C’s in pulling together this summer project: College students, Children and Churches, with the stated purpose of “Our mission is to transform communities by engaging children, collegeage young adults and churches in purposeful relationships.” Like most outreaches of a church, people are at the heart. For the college students, there is an investment in the “lives of children while living in intentional community, exploring their calling and developing as servant leaders.”
The college students will additionally perform community service on about
half of the Fridays they are in town. This summer of service may help them as they consider areas they would like to serve in the future. The children improve literacy, social-emotional and spiritual development through participating in the program for the summer. This is especially critical since reading proficiency is a key predictor of a child’s success. Since research indicates that even the best students lose part of their reading proficiency if they don’t read regularly over the summer, it is important to note that past PT sessions have shown 97% of children maintained or improved their reading levels over the summer.
Nena Willis, Ponca City’s PT Team Coordinator, says, “I enjoy the placement with FUMC and genuinely feel appreciated by the community here. I admire how the congregation
has several volunteers willing to work with the children alongside our program. I also greatly appreciate the community’s support in making my team’s stay comfortable.” For churches hosting the program, there is connecting to more of their community and building relationships with their neighbors while improving the lives of area children. What could be better than the beautiful chaos of children all day in the church building? The new devotion to cultural renewal may well be simply caring for your neighbors. PCM
Ward’s Air Conditioning, Inc.
The Season Professional
Story by Chelsea McConnell | Staff Writer
Ward’s Air Conditioning Inc. is a family-owned business located in downtown Ponca City at 209 N. 1st Street. Lester Ward started the business with his sons Greg and Michael in the 1980s. Initially they had only one service truck. The Wards grew the business slowly and steadily over the years. Lester Ward retired in 2001. Today the business is owned by Greg Ward and his sister-in-law Terri Ward, since the passing of Michael Ward.
Ward’s is made up of a team of 20 employees with a combined 300 years of experience. They serve both residential and commercial markets in Ponca City and the surrounding communities. Ward’s prides themselves on providing highquality products and service. They guarantee excellence in all aspects of their operation.
The Ward’s team includes upper management, office staff, service and installation journeymen, and apprentices. To become a licensed journeyman/technician, apprentices must complete an apprenticeship program and work under a journeyman for at least three years. Ward’s brings in apprentices with the goal of building up the number of licensed technicians they have on staff. Currently they have nine licensed technicians, though they are always looking to grow their team. Many of the Ward’s staff members have been with the business for
years, which speaks volumes to the atmosphere fostered by the Ward family in the office and out in the field among technicians.
Greg handles most of the new construction, like custom homes and bigger commercial projects. They recently finished working on the White Eagle Health Clinic and are currently working on a project with the Kaw Nation in Ponca City. Jeremy Morill runs the crews and handles sales, including financing. Ward’s works with thirdparty GreenSky to offer financing options to their customers. They know that if a unit goes out completely and needs to be replaced it is often a big, and unexpected, expense. GreenSky offers several different plans to accommodate the needs of Ward’s customers.
they get into a bind. Ward’s also offers a variety of Preventative Maintenance packages. Regular maintenance ensures that your system is running as it should be and will help keep big problems from popping up unexpectedly.
Ward’s can service all makes and models of units, and they are equipped to do full-service residential and commercial work. They offer duct cleaning and indoor air quality testing services. They also offer extended warranties on their products and free at-home estimates. Their warranties match the lifespan of the product. Heating and cooling equipment is an investment. A warranty from Ward’s allows you to protect your investment. Ward’s technicians take turns being on call nights and weekends in order to help customers if/when
Ward’s is a Bryant Factory Authorized Dealer. Bryant Heating and Cooling Systems has been in business since 1904 and is one of the most trusted dealers in America. Before starting his own business, Lester Ward worked for a Bryant distributor, so becoming a Bryant dealer was the next right step when starting his own business. Because of this, Greg Ward has worked with Bryant products nearly his entire life and is confident in their quality. Bryant has a multipoint checklist businesses must pass before becoming a Bryant dealer. Bryant’s slogan is “Whatever It Takes,” and they expect their dealers to do whatever it takes to satisfy their customers. Ward’s values this commitment to excellence and has received Bryant’s “Outstanding Dealer of the Year” award on more than one occasion.
The technicians at Ward’s are NATE Certified. NATE is the nation’s largest certification organization for HVACR technicians. According to their website, their certifications prove that a journeymen has “advanced-level competency as a technician in the HVAC industry.” The NATE certification means Ward’s customers can be confident in the ability of the technicians that work on their equipment.
For more information, contact Ward’s Air Conditioning at (580) 762-9513 or visit their website at wardsac.com. Whether you are looking for a new unit or have an old one that needs some love, Ward’s wants to be your go-to company for heating and cooling services. PCM
Left to Right: Jeremy Morrill (Sales/Install Manager), Crystal Counselor, Chad Liller, Jaren Grimsley, Don Mackie (Service Manager)
Left to Right: Teresa Redford, Sherri Kremier, Patty Compton
Left to Right: Back Row: Steve Linton, Jesse Burns, Justin Pruett, Eric Harper, Wayne Roath, Colten Tincher Front Row: Ethan Zimmerman, Jorge Garcia, Stefan Rachev
INSIDE THE STRONG DADS PROGRAM:
BUILDING BETTER FATHERS ACROSS OKLAHOMA
Story by Rob Bodick | Contributing Writer
As I sat down to start writing this article about the Strong Dads program, my mind was flooded with so many thoughts of what I wanted to express. The more I thought about it, the more my mind was drawn to the stack of surveys on my desk, testimonies, comments from moms, children and grandparents alike. “My son is a different man,” one grandparent said. “Thanks for helping my daddy” rang out from a little child. “This class helped save my marriage, we talk for hours now,” exclaimed one mom, and “I wish I would have taken this class sooner,” one graduating dad humbly stated. Then I picked up self-reflection essays written by students after a lecture we presented on campus. “My dad and I were close; he was a great dad, but after hearing this lecture I realize how much work it takes to be a great dad.”
That student was 100% correct. It takes a lot of work to be a great dad, and when we bring life into this world it does not come with an instruction manual. In fact, when you look at the grand scheme of things they require foster parents to go through many hours of classes to learn how to be good parents. Does anyone recall getting any books on being a parent from the hospital? I don’t.
For decades now the role of the dad has diminished as society has pushed some
dads out the door or tried to reconstruct the role and meaning of a father figure. The government has often incentivized the role of moms to parent alone without dad present. For decades, most child-rearing instruction was geared toward the role of mom and how mom could survive raising kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful they had that as I grew up in a home with just my single mom, sisters and a younger brother. However, I often think what life would have been like to have a male role model early on.
I’m sure that question has been asked many times by many people. We know this because studies have shown that when fathers are more involved in their children’s lives some of the following things happen: They often get better grades in school, are more likely to go to college or trade school. They are more accepted by their peers, have more confidence and demonstrate better self-control; they are less likely to be involved in delinquent behaviors and significantly less likely to be incarcerated. Mental health rates are better; they are less likely to get involved with drugs and have lower rates of pregnancy in cases of daughters. Most of all, their children experience the benefits that last a lifetime.
Recognizing the benefits that fathers play in the lives of their children, Governor Stitt and the Department of Human Services hosted a Fathers Forward Summit at the Governor’s Mansion on June 14, 2023, to promote initiatives setting the framework to champion programs aimed at the father’s role across the state. Oklahoma State University took the lead and set up
“The program is structured very well, and you look forward to how each week builds on the last.”
nine OSU county extension offices with English and Bilingual Spanish coordinators to help administer the Strong Dads program. Kay County is at the tip of the spear, and three Kay County residents: Cathy Denning, Eric Garza and Edgar Dominguez are Field Program Coordinators. I serve as the State Program Coordinator out of the campus in Stillwater. Together we have been out in the communities hosting 12-week workshops for a year and a half.
To fully understand what the Strong Dads program is, you must first know what it is not. Strong Dads is not a program for, or about, being a bad father and trying to fix someone. Bottom-line bad dads do not take workshops to better themselves or to help others. Nor is it a lose weight and get fit quick plan. The Strong Dads program is about dads who want to be the best dad possible. It’s about dads who want to make a difference in themselves, the lives of their kids and support other dads around them. It is about adding tools to your tool belt. Strong Dads’ philosophy is—Strong Dads build Strong Families; Strong Families build Strong
for dads. Each session is two hours long and there are 12 sessions. “Dads come in and enjoy a light meal, engage in great discussion and earn a $10 gas card for each session attended and receive a $25 Walmart card for every survey they complete,” states Denning, who has been the Kay County Coordinator since the program’s inception. Denning, a former grief counselor, is amazed by the growth she sees in each dad and believes that it starts with each dad recognizing they can only change themselves.
One Strong Dad graduate Eric Garza was so impressed with the program when the opportunity arose, he jumped at the program coordinator position in Payne County. “The program is structured very well, and you look forward to how each week builds on the last.” says Garza. The program is balanced on five key pillars that are the bedrock of the program. The pillars are built to enhance one’s morals, beliefs and values. Dads learn how to promote those for their children, co-parents and community.
pillars, fathering skills and parenting skills. Why is it important for you to be a part of their lives, help them with school, cook them meals, tuck them into bed? Why should you know who their teachers are and attend parent-teacher conferences? Who are your children’s friends? Being present and intentional, supporting your kids in sports and other activities down to simply teaching them how to fish. Do you support their physical, emotional, intellectual and social skills, with the bottom line being time equals love?
The last pillar is relationship skills, building a healthy relationship with the children, the wife and mother of your children and other family members. The strong dad will know and value how relationships shape their children’s lives. Dads learn how to properly manage a good worklife balance and how to communicate with everyone. Knowing how to communicate with others is a key tool used in the workshop, as each one is discussion-based.
The first pillar, is Self-Awareness, recognizing how your feelings, moods, emotions, and capabilities play into your behavior and your personal growth depends on it. It also shows how the choices you make and the responsibility that you take affects your chances to be with your children. It also enforces that masculinity is a good thing and is needed in society and is a key characteristic of being a Strong Dad.
The second pillar is caring for yourself. Why is it important to get those annual physicals to eat right, exercise and learn about the world you live in so you can live a prosperous life? So that you can look forward to walking your daughter down the aisle, see your kids graduate and so forth. Keeping your mind fresh and learning about your community, choosing friends that will support healthy and good choices, and most importantly, modeling it for your children.
The sessions then move into the next two
So far statewide over 1,600 dads have graduated from the Strong Dads program. In some communities, the dads have formed Alumni groups to keep in touch, support one another and assist where needed in their community. Participants come from all social and economic backgrounds. “Multiple cultural communities have been reached with this program—Marshallese, Afghan Refugees, Ugandans and some dads from Antigua,” stated Edgar Dominquez, the Spanish Bilingual Coordinator for Kay County. Dominquez is looking forward to growing the Hispanic Strong Dads program (Papa’s Fuertes) in Kay County as well.
If you are interested in attending a Strong Dad workshop in English or Spanish or if you would like to host an information workshop in your church or other areas, please reach out to the Kay County OSU Extension Office at 580-3623194. You can go online to strongdads.okstate. edu and read more about Strong Dads. There is a Register Now button available and a coordinator will reach out to you. If you would like Strong Dads to be a part of your community event or speak at your civic organization, we are more than willing to share the amazing progress we are making. PCM
The Journey Toward the Long Gray Line
Local Student Aiden Tapp Is West Point Bound
Story by Chelsea McConnell | Staff Writer
Nineteen-year-old Aiden Tapp, born and raised in Ponca City, was received into West Point Military Academy on June 30. Both of his grandfathers served in the Army. Their service planted the seed for Tapp at a young age that military service might be an option for himself as well. Tapp learned from a teacher when he was in 8th grade that West Point was a potential route to join the Army. It was then that he set his sights on attending the academy.
The United States Military Academy (USMA), better known as West Point, was established in 1802 by President Thomas Jefferson to train officers for our country’s rapidly expanding army. The USMA sits on a 16,000-acre campus in West Point, New York, approximately 60 miles north of New York City. According to their website, USMA’s mission is “To educate, train and inspire the Corps of Cadets so that each graduate is a commissioned leader of character committed to the values of Duty, Honor, Country and prepared for a career of professional excellence and service to the Nation as an officer in the United States Army.” West Point students are referred to as Cadets. During the 47-month program, they are challenged to become the best versions of themselves through the academic, military and physical opportunities provided to them. Cadets who make it through the rigorous training enter what West Point refers to as the “Long Gray Line.” The Long Gray Line is the
unbroken line of graduates from the USMA bound together by their experience at the academy and their commitment to serve our country.
Tapp’s application to West Point has been a lengthy process with many steps. The journey alone to complete these steps shows his commitment to his future at West Point. Applicants must be between 17-22 at the time of entering the academy, unmarried and with no children. They must submit ACT or SAT scores and GPA information. West Point is looking for successfully academic applicants with a history of leadership skills. Physical requirements must be met as well. Applicants have to obtain a nomination from a Congressional Representative. Applicants are required to take the Candidate Fitness
Dr. Dean Mohammadi grew up in Overland Park, Kansas and has been fascinated with dentistry since he was a kid. Having been very fond of his dentist in Overland Park, his goal is to provide his patients the same quality and compassionate care.
Dr. Dean received his Bachelor of Arts in Chemistry in 2018, followed by his Doctor of Dental Surgery degree in 2022 at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. Following dental school, he participated in a one-year General Practice Residency program at University Health Lakewood to further advance his training. He remains dedicated to expanding his knowledge of dentistry through continuing education.
Dr. Dean enjoys sports like soccer and football. He is an avid fan of FC Barcelona and the Kansas City Chiefs. During his free time, he enjoys cooking, photography, playing soccer, and dirtbike riding.
Come by, say hi, and schedule an appointment with Dr. Dean today!
N. 5th Street, Suite 2 Ponca City
Assessment which consists of six events like a one-mile run, shuttle run and other physical tests. They must be medically qualified, as well, through the Department of Defense Medical Examination Review Board.
Tapp completed this lengthy list of steps and was accepted into West Point and will soon begin his journey at the academy. When asked about the long path to get to where he is today, Tapp makes it all sound pretty simple. He sees each task as a step along the road to where he wants to end up and has simply continued to do the next right thing no matter the work involved.
Tapp joined the Boy Scouts in first grade. He credits the organization with teaching him many things. Tapp says, “Scouts helped in a myriad of ways. The major point that has stuck with me throughout it all is that Scouts develops a sense of good citizenship in people. It’s as simple as picking up your trash or putting your shopping cart back. It builds a foundation of good citizenship that helps everything, whether it’s military discipline or just being a driven human being.” He goes on to share some poignant advice he received from his Scout Leader Jay Wagner several years ago.
Tapp says Wagner encouraged the boys to think about what direction they wanted their lives to take and then start making moves along that path. He pointed out that life is easier when you have a goal in sight, as opposed to making your way through aimlessly. Tapp took those words to heart.
Tapp is a naturally driven young man. When he set his sights on West Point, he knew he would need to become more physically fit. Having not tried any sports, Tapp joined the football team and played from 9th to 11th grade until a sports injury put an end to his football career. After football, he took up swimming and cross country to maintain his goal of staying in his best physical shape.
When Tapp reported to West Point in June, he began a six-week training program as a Cadet candidate at the U.S. Military Academy Preparatory School (USMAPS). According to their website, “The primary mission of the Preparatory School has remained essentially the same: to provide appropriate academic, military and physical training in order to qualify and motivate candidates for admission to, and graduation from, USMA.” During this six-week period, he
will be tested both mentally and physically while attending classes and completing various athletic requirements. Military training is built into the curriculum as well. Cadet candidates are also given the opportunity to join various clubs and teams to help them socialize and get to know one another.
Tuition to West Point is free, though graduates are required to serve as officers in the Army for a minimum of five years active duty and an additional three years part time in the reserve component. There are a range of areas of education, referred to as Branches, that cadets can focus on. The Branch a cadet chooses will have a bearing on where they are based after graduation. For now, Tapp has his sights set on entering the Infantry Branch. The Infantry Branch is described as the “main land combat force. Infantry officers are tactical masters who play and execute worldwide Army operations during war and peacetime.” Tapp would eventually like to attend Ranger School.
Tapp knows the road ahead of him will be long and hard, but he shows no hesitation when it comes to knowing it will be worth the effort. He says his family has been incredibly supportive during the journey, and he knows they are excited for what lies ahead for him. He wants to encourage anyone wanting to take a similar path to get started today. Tapp believes it’s never too early to start taking small, meaningful steps in the direction of your dreams. Let’s all wish Tapp the best as he begins his journey toward joining the Long Gray Line. PCM
The University Center Is Making a Difference Thoughts on Higher Ed
Great things are happening at the University Center. Healthy organizations must celebrate their victories while being honest about their challenges. For the last several months, University Center leadership has been doing both. This month I am highlighting things the University Center is celebrating.
Enrollment is growing. When the UC moved from the basement of Phillips 66 to our current location on 14th Street, enrollment was close to 400 students. Then online education began to develop, fewer colleges offered programs through the UC and enrollment began to decline. When the COVID-19 pandemic struck in 2000, online education exploded, in-person education of all kinds became very difficult, and like all universities, the UC took a big hit. The good news is enrollment is now on the upswing, and the UC is on track to meet or exceed its enrollment goals for fall.
Community Support. From its founding in 1999, the UC owes its existence to the Ponca City area community. Community leaders saw the need for students to have local access to higher education,
and they jumped through all the political, financial and organizational hoops to make it happen. Over the past 25 years, hundreds of people have given time and resources to create and sustain the UC. Every month nine UC Trustees and 10 or so Ex Officio Trustees meet for updates and to plan for the future. In addition, 13 UC Foundation members meet to raise funds and provide scholarships to remove financial barriers experienced by our students. Everywhere I go, people ask for updates on the UC, because our community understands the value the UC adds to northern Oklahoma.
Concurrent Scholarships. Last fall the UC Foundation partnered with PCPS and NOC to overhaul and improve scholarships for concurrent students. The state waives tuition for most concurrent classes, but the fees are approximately $300 per class. Our goal was to scholarship 100% of the fees for at least 25 concurrent students for the coming school year. Because of the generosity of our community, we are on track to award more than 35 concurrent scholarships for the 202526 school year, in addition to scholarships for traditional students.
Graduation Reception. This spring more than
40 University Center students earned degrees from our partner schools, NOC and NWOSU. To celebrate, the UC Foundation hosted a reception to honor the graduates. In addition to the graduates and their families, representatives attended from NOC, NWOSU and the UC Trustees and staff. Several shared powerful stories of how the UC and its staff helped them achieve what seemed impossible. This will become an annual event.
Robotics Camps are full. LEGO robotics camps for 2nd-8th graders debuted at the UC in 2018. We scheduled five camps for this summer, then expanded to six because of demand. With the exception of a few seats in one camp, all the camps are full and have waiting lists. Students love learning to build and code their robots for specific tasks. Young robot builders today become tomorrow’s engineers creating life-changing technology.
Many more great things are happening. Stop by some day for a tour and a chat. We would love to see you!
Keep learning!
Story by Tim Williams CEO, University Center at Ponca City / Contributing Writer
Annual Meeting 2025
2025 Grad Reception Hurd
WELL-BEE with Shannon NP
Gratitude, Growth & the Gift of Five Years
Story by Shannon Somers / Owner Aesthetic State of Mind, Contributing Writer,
It’s birthday month! For both myself and ASOM. As I look to July, my heart is overflowing with one word: gratitude.
Aesthetic State of Mind is turning five years old—and if I’m being honest, it’s still hard to believe. What started as a spark of a dream has grown into something I could have never imagined. Five years of building, learning, growing, failing, trying again, and—most importantly—serving a community that has shown up for us time and time again.
To every single person who has ever walked through our doors, every client who has invested even one dollar into our services, every face we’ve treated, every heart we’ve met—thank you. You didn’t just support a business; you helped shape a vision, create a safe space, and turn a dream into reality. You’ve trusted us with your skin, your confidence, your health, and your time—and that’s not something I take lightly.
This milestone has me reflecting deeply on the journey. These past five years have been filled with long days, late nights, and moments of uncertainty—but they’ve also been full of joy, breakthroughs, laughter, and connection. I’ve had the privilege of growing, not only as a provider, but as a person. We’ve expanded our services, pushed ourselves to keep learning, and stayed grounded in a mission to offer more than just aesthetics—we strive to offer care, confidence, and compassion.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the grind. We live in a world that constantly tells us to want more, do more, achieve more. But in this season, I’ve been reminded how important it is to pause. To take a breath. To look around at what already is. We rush
toward milestones, chase goals, and hustle toward dreams—but sometimes, we forget to stop and recognize the dreams that already came true.
Five years ago, a younger version of me only hoped this business would take off. Ten-year-old me never even imagined this could be real. And yet, here we are.
This isn’t just about numbers or growth charts. This is about the people—the moments—the lives touched on both sides of the treatment room. The client who found confidence again. The team member who discovered a passion. The shared stories, the quiet transformations, the loud celebrations. It’s all been so much more than I ever expected.
And so, as we celebrate this milestone, I’m not looking forward— I’m looking around. I’m soaking it in. I’m acknowledging the beauty of what is, right here, right now.
To our clients, to our team, to our community: you’ve helped build something beautiful. Thank you for being a part of this chapter, and every chapter still to come.
Here’s to five years of Aesthetic State of Mind.
Here’s to gratitude.
And here’s to remembering that sometimes, the greatest achievement isn’t what’s next—but learning to be present in the success we already hold in our hands.
Get a lung screening
Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death nationwide –claiming more lives than breast, colon and prostate cancers combined.
Did you know?
According to the American Lung Association's 2024 “State of Lung Cancer” report, Oklahoma has one of the lowest five-year survival rates in the nation at just 22.2%.
With early detection, lung cancer is highly treatable.
Any interested patient is eligible. Recommended for individuals who meet the following criteria:
& &
Also recommended for 50-77 years old Current smoker or quit in the past 15 years 20 pack year or more
Including: construction, firefighters, hair & nail salon workers, mechanics and factory workers. High-risk Occupations
CHAMBER BUZZ
Story by Shelley Arrott, Ponca City Chamber of Commerce CEO | Contributing Writer
SAVE THE DATE:
Party at the Palace Returns August
A Night of Hidden Spirits & Local Gems You Won’t Want to Miss
The Ponca City Chamber of Commerce is thrilled to announce the return of Party at the Palace on Friday, Aug. 22, 2025, at the historic Marland Mansion. This unforgettable evening, set against the backdrop of one of Ponca City’s most treasured landmarks, promises excitement, elegance and a celebration of all things local.
This year’s theme, “Hidden Spirits & Local Gems,” is brought to life through fresh ideas and imaginative flair from our Chamber Chair, Ashley Miller, who is bringing a bold new vision to elevate the experience. Get ready for an evening filled with intrigue, connection and one-of-a-kind opportunities to support your community.
What to Expect:
• Live Music by Fan-Favorite Band #9
• Local Flavors Served “Bite-Sized” Style by Several Local Chamber Investors
• Handcrafted Cocktails and Unique Experiences Throughout the Evening
• Custom, Affordable Party at the Palace Memorabilia From Two Local Businesses
Multiple Ways to Participate and Win:
This year’s auction experience will feature both live and silent auctions, offering an array of incredible items and experiences at every price point. Additionally, we’re adding even more excitement with a new raffle, allowing everyone to get in on the fun, regardless of their level of participation.
And yes, it’s back! The coveted Golden Ticket returns in 2025. For just $100, you’ll have the
22nd!
chance to win your choice of several top-tier auction items. Only a limited number of Golden Tickets will be available beginning Monday, July 7—first come, first served!
Tickets:
General admission tickets will go on sale on Monday, July 7, for $75.00 each and will be available for purchase in our office or online.
Why It Matters:
Although we host Party at the Palace each year, the sponsorship year is our premier biennial fundraising event, the one that truly fuels the Chamber’s mission. Your sponsorship and attendance directly support the Ponca City Chamber of Commerce and our vision to:
• Unite the Efforts of Business and Professional Leaders
• Support and Promote Local Businesses
• Drive Local Sales
• Inform and Advocate for Our Community’s Needs
• Foster Strong and Lasting Connections
Thanks to your generous investment in this biennial fundraiser, we can focus on our mission and community impact, rather than continual fundraising to sustain Chamber operations.
Want the Spotlight? Become a Sponsor Today!
Sponsoring the 2025 Party at the Palace puts your business
front and center with the region’s top leaders and decision-makers, while supporting the Chamber’s vital fundraising efforts.
Sponsorship perks include:
• VIP Tables & Premium Logo Visibility
• Access to an Exclusive Sneak Peek Hour From 5-6 p.m.
• Raffle Tickets + Custom Gifts
• Ongoing Chamber Recognition
Sponsorships are available for purchase online!
Thank you for your continued support and investment in our community. We look forward to celebrating with you at the 2025 Party at the Palace!
Stew On That
by Rachel Stewart / Contributing Writer
Ugh, I love kids. Not that I love feeding them, or being responsible for caring for them or contributing anything meaningful in any way to their lives, but they’re just so funny and outrageous. Can you imagine just walking around doing LITERALLY whatever you wanted? Saying every. single. thought that entered your brain, no matter how off-the-wall or rude it was. Not caring that your hands are sticky and your hair smells like syrup, even though you haven’t been even remotely close to syrup in days. How freeing it must feel to just do a handstand in the middle of Atwoods or to ask a stranger who uses a wheelchair, “Do you go really fast down hills?” or to tell people “Your belly is really squishy,” while poking it. Can you imagine if an adult did any of those things? Recently my sweet, perfect angel of a niece leaned in, cupped her
hand over my ear and told me a secret, but really the secret was just 50% hot air, 48% giggles, 1% Doritos and 1% actual secret, deposited directly into my eardrum. (Kids really do tell the most humid secrets, don’t they?) And there was exactly 0% whispering with this secret, it was told at absolute full volume. Don’t tell her I told you, but the secret was that she was going to start calling my son/her cousin “Turd Pickles,” which is hilarious. But when I turned to her to laugh, she unleashed the deepest, wettest open-mouthed cough directly into my mouth. LOL. Then after I was accosted by her, she adorably galloped away to play with Turd Pickles. (For the record, this interaction was only cute because it was my kin; if a random child did this to me, I’d call 911).
JULY20ISNATIONAL 52-DOWNDAY
by Patrick Jordan
ACROSS
1. Mexican food favorites
6. Butcher's merchandise
10. Rapid
14. "I'm well ___ of that fact"
15. Half of the McDonald's logo
16. Computer operator
17. Disposable picnic dinnerware (2 wds.)
19. It forms at a checkout counter
20. Hole in a needle
21. Dog doctors, briefly
22. Roof of the mouth
24. Cowboys wear ten-gallon ones
25. Singing threesome
26. Bricklaying professionals
29. "No need to ask my permission" (2 wds.)
33. "___ you forgetting something?"
34. William and Harry, to King Charles
35. Horned rodeo animal
36. Impolite
37. They're docked at marinas
38. City 67 miles west of Ponca
39. Auction website
40. Los Angeles footballers
41. Not glossy, as paint
42. Characterized by cleanliness
44. More compact
45. What a rolling stone won't gather
46. Diamonds, rubies, etc.
47. Mascara targets
50. "Queen of the Nile," familarly
51. "I ___ complete idiot!" (2 wds.)
54. Classic pet food brand
55. Top award at a county fair (2 wds.)
58. Celebrity dating couple
59. Deserve due to hard work
60. The Jetsons' Rosey, for one
61. Took a train or taxi trip
62. Colors Easter eggs
63. Graceful swimming birds
DOWN
1. Gift wrapper's roll
2. "___ in a Manger"
3. Dracula's face concealer
4. Miner's mineral
5. Maid or butler
6. Ice cream drinks
7. Taylor Swift tour
8. Try for an Oscar
9. Newspapers, magazines, and such (2 wds.)
10. Mistaken, slangily (3 wds.)
11. South Korea's continent
12. Placed in the mail
13. Maple or mahogany
18. Patients of 21-Across
23. Suffer sickness
24. "Dear, I've returned after work!" (3 wds.)
25. Camping shelters
26. Stallions' mates
27. First island in the Beach Boys' song "Kokomo"
28. Four-door car
29. Loaded with lather
30. Smallest puppies in litters
31. Society's finest folks 32. Born earlier 34. Flies like an eagle 37. Metallic boudoir furniture (2 wds.)
41. Biographical books
43. Shoe or sock feature
44. Creature
Simplified, Secure Living for Seniors and the Disabled
H FREE Wi-Fi throughout building
H Beautiful grounds and gardens
H Friendly and caring staff
H Rent based on income
H 1-bedroom apts. and efficiencies
H Carpet and mini-blinds
201 E. Broadway
Ponca City 580-762-4445
H Handicap-accessible units
H Friendship Feast transportation
H Meals on Wheels
H Movie and game night
H Potluck lunch
We take housing applications for the elderly and disabled. You must be at least 50 years of age or receiving disability benefits.
Call for information or apply in person.
OFFICE HOURS: Mon. - Fri. 8 am - 3 pm – Closed 12:30 pm - 1 pm –
324 E. Grand
Downtown Ponca City
Open Tues.-Fri. 9-6 and Sat. 10-4
Clothing for boys and girls, size preemie to 7/8. Also toys, plush, books and so much more! A business of the Opportunity Center. - All proceeds benefit the Opportunity Center.
Medusa (The Myth of Monsters,
by Katherine Marsh
Seventh-grader Ava Baldwin always attempts to keep her anger under control, just as her mother has taught her. One day, though, knowit-all and bully Owen pushes her too far and she loses it—and Owen seems to freeze, becoming completely unresponsive. Owen recovers after an hour or so, but the damage has been done.
The next day Ava’s parents announce that they’ve enrolled Ava and her older brother, Jax, in their mom’s alma mater, the Accademia del Forte, an international boarding school for gifted students in Venice (Italy), and they’ll leave in two days. Once there, Ava and Jax are shocked to discover that the Olympian gods Zeus, Poseidon and Hades established the Accademia to train the descendants of mythological monsters to control their emotions and powers so they can become well-adjusted, contributing members of society.
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t already figured it out, Jax and Ava are descendants of one of the
book 1)
Olympian mythological monsters!
At the Accademia, Ava makes friends with an Empusa (her roommate, Layla), a Chimera (her best friend, Fia) and a Harpy (their friend, Arnold). As the school year progresses, she begins to question the Accademia’s purpose and its staff. Asking questions is seriously discouraged, especially if you’re questioning the truth of what you’re being taught. When Fia is cruelly punished for attempting to expose an injustice at the school, her voice is taken away. Ava and her friends embark on a quest to restore Fia’s voice and in the process give voice to the goddesses who have been silenced by the male Olympians. Their journey reaches from Tartarus to Olympus, and they discover goddesses along the way who go out of their way to help and protect Ava and her friends.
Reviewed by Lorrie Layton
NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE AT THIS WEDDING BY CATHERINE MACK
Eleanor Dash is the author of the bestselling Vacation Mystery series. The series is loosely based on her own life, since it seems she cannot go on vacation without a murder occurring. Her main character, Cecelia, is modeled after Eleanor, except she has better hair and makes wiser choices. The movie adaptation of When in Rome, Eleanor’s first novel, is currently being filmed.
Emma Wood, Eleanor’s best friend since kindergarten, is playing Cecelia in the film. Fred Winter, Emma’s fiancé, plays Connor, the leading man in the series. (Oh, Connor is also Eleanor’s ex and just happens to be on set as a consultant.)
The director of the film attended high school with Eleanor and Emma and happens to hate Eleanor for some reason.
Once the filming wraps, Emma and Fred invite the cast and crew to their wedding on Catalina Island that weekend. Of course, there’s a major storm warning, encouraging everyone to evacuate to the mainland. And, of course, they decide to proceed with the wedding, despite the storm warning. It’s probably just fake weather news, right?
To top it all off, Emma shows Eleanor a threatening note she received, warning that someone will die at the wedding. What can Eleanor possibly do? Well, since she’s a professional mystery writer, she needs to solve this mystery—preferably before the predicted murder occurs.
The wedding guests include a multitude of possible suspects: The producer, Tyler, who once dated Emma and still loves her. The director, Simone, who can’t stand that she’s directing Eleanor’s novel. Additionally, we have the scriptwriter, the put-upon director’s assistant, Eleanor’s on-again boyfriend and Eleanor’s sister/ personal assistant.
This novel was lots of fun to read. My favorite part is that Eleanor is the narrator, and she uses footnotes to carry on side conversations with the reader. Definitely two thumbs up!
Reviewed by Lorrie Layton
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Story by Adam Leaming, Ponca City Public Schools, Superintendent / Contributing Writer
NO OFF-SEASON FOR LEARNING:
Ponca City Schools Build Momentum This Summer
In typical Oklahoma fashion, the month of July has brought the dreaded heat dome to Ponca City. While most families spend July soaking up sunshine at Lake Ponca, traveling or simply enjoying a slower pace, Ponca City Public Schools is buzzing with purpose. I get asked all the time, “Adam, it must be nice with nothing happening in the summer!” As the superintendent, I can tell you: there is no true “off-season” in public education. July is our version of halftime, a brief but critical moment to regroup, refocus and re-imagine what’s possible for our students.
This month, buildings across the district are filled with quiet energy. Floors are being waxed, classrooms are being rearranged and curriculum teams are meeting to sharpen plans for the upcoming school year. We continue to make inroads with moving our PreK students leaving our PreK center and returning to our neighborhood schools. Our former PreK center is being prepared to be turned over to the Child Development Center to expand their childcare offerings for Ponca City. But beyond the surface, something deeper is happening. We’re preparing for a year of innovation, growth and renewed focus on what matters most: student success.
Innovative Plans, Grounded in Real Needs
This fall, we’re launching new academic initiatives that are designed not just to meet state standards, but to exceed them. We’re introducing more rigor in our classrooms, including hands-on learning opportunities, expanding our internship and STEM programs and leveraging data in smarter ways to help every child grow, whether they’re behind, on track or ready to accelerate.
This summer marked our first year to provide summer STEM academies, but we want more. As superintendent I want our kids pushing the limits. I am eagerly awaiting our kids to be launching more rockets, causing more explosions and being mad scientists in year two of our STEM building (obviously in the safest way possible). We are looking at creative ways to get our middle and
elementary students in the STEM space for engaging projects and experiences.
Our approach is not just about numbers, flashy programs and test scores. We’re deeply focused on relationships ensuring that students feel known, safe and supported. Every new plan we develop is rooted in a simple question: “How does this help our students feel successful and capable in the real world?”
Why This Should Matter to Everyone
You don’t have to work in education to be part of this effort. Maybe you’re a business owner who can host an intern. Maybe you’re a retiree with time to read to a classroom. Or maybe you’re a parent, neighbor or alumni who just wants to cheer our kids on. We need you, Ponca City.
Public schools are one of the few places where the whole community gathers around a shared belief: our kids and teachers deserve the best we can give. And that belief matters now more than ever.
A Community That Lifts Together
The truth is, we can’t do it alone. Every school system thrives when it has a community behind it offering encouragement, asking good questions and helping us see what’s possible when we work together. In July, while the buildings might seem still, we are building momentum. And with your help, we’ll carry that energy forward into a powerful school year.
So next time you pass a school this summer, know that this superintendent and our team is hard at work for you, Ponca City. Also know that something meaningful is happening behind those doors. And if you’ve ever thought, “How can I help?” know that we’re ready for you.
Together, let’s make this a year to remember.
The Sunny Side
by Liz Threlkeld / Contributing Writer
VOICES FROM THE HOMESTEAD—PART ONE
Welcome to “The Sunny Side” where we’ll chat about all things homesteading! My name is Liz Threlkeld and I have been homesteading with my family in small forms or large fashions for most of my life. From growing gardens to DIY projects, to cooking and preserving, to raising and processing our own meat animals, we’ve learned a thing or two along the way. I’m excited to get to share some of this life with you. Ready? Let’s grow!
FACING HARD QUESTIONS TOGETHER
Howdy, Friends!
As we celebrate freedom as a nation, let’s also turn inward to explore the kind of liberty that comes not just from living off the land, but from having the courage to ask hard questions and answer them with integrity. I’ve decided to bring in some local voices to weigh in on those tough subjects we presented in the last two articles.
Tradition, Innovation & Sustainability
• How do I feel about leveraging technology on the homestead?
• “Technology has been a powerful tool in every part of our operation—from building an online store that drives most of our sales to using GPS and digital tracking systems for planting, haying and herd management. It helps us streamline daily tasks, make informed decisions and stay connected with a broader community of producers, educators and resources. Nearly every part of our work today is shaped and supported by some form of technology.” ~ Amy Bachman, Bachman Family Farms
• Am I giving credit to those who have taught or inspired me?
• “I’m a big believer in giving credit where credit is due. When someone moves me, I don't hesitate to give thanks and pass the gift along. It gives a spark of
inspiration the wings to bless the world.” ~ Jess Bray, Blue Mountain Farm
• Am I homesteading out of fear or proactive living?
• “We seek to be communitysufficient as small-scale farmers in an urban context. We share commonalities with homesteaders because we want to grow as much of our own food as possible and be less dependent on food supply systems, but the reality is that we are stronger together in community for support and collaboration. We always want to be proactive to do our part in making our community more resilient to challenges that will come our way.” ~ Matt Hakola, Ragtag Resilience
Honesty & Fairness in Trade
• Am I hoarding a resource that could be shared or traded?
• “I love to see people achieve success, whether it’s big or small. I have shared and taught several friends on how to ‘can,’ sent info on kitchen tools to make tasks easier. Life is hard, so helping people out here or there will make a happier environment. However, I might hoard the exact location of my sand plum bushes.” ~ Tamela Wooderson, The Farmer’s Wife
Health & Lifestyle
• Do I include my family in my
homestead adventures to foster closer relationships?
• “Each member of the family has their favorite niches in homesteading that they embrace. Finding age-appropriate projects, they can be given a lot of freedom which encourages them to make it their own. Bigger chores, like twice daily milking our cow, is quality time that they love to spend with me. Conversation flows so easily to the rhythm of filling the pail with milk and memories!” ~ Megan Cartlidge, Elm Acres
• Could small lifestyle changes, like spending more time in the sun and soil, have unexpected benefits for my health?
• “Every time I step outside in the sun, harvest from the garden or feel the dirt between my fingers, I’m reminded that our bodies crave what is real and rooted. Simple acts like these reconnect me to something ancient and instinctual—a rhythm of life that modern living often strips away. Over time, I’ve realized that these small habits don’t just benefit physical health; they create a quieter mind, a stronger spirit and a deeper sense of gratitude. They
remind me that health isn’t found in rushing toward convenience, but in slowing down enough to live fully present in each day.” ~ Carrie Beth Winfield, Bee Farmee
While I deeply believe that every voice has value, I’m reminded that the quiet, unspoken work of thinking— the wrestling with questions before answering them—often carries even more weight. In a world eager for snippets, may we be a community that honors not just what we say, but how deeply we’ve thought before we say it.
Happy pondering,
Liz Threlkeld
“‘Leave it better than we found it’ is our sentiment as we steward the land on which we are blessed to reside. With every move here on our homestead, we nurture the pastures that will continue to nurture generations to come. Cyclical is this life, never more apparent than in the role of a homesteader.” ~ Jess Bray, Blue Mountain Farm
Photo Credit: Jess Bray
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Memory Support - Specialized dementia care in a safe, structured, comfortable environment that enables peaceful, pleasant days.
Skilled Nursing - Attentive round-the-clock care in a supportive environment, plus rehabilitative care to help you recover after surgery or illness.
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COCKTAIL OF THE MONTHSUMMER
Summer’s Most Unexpected MVP
Mixed by Jill Rowe/Staff Writer
Recently I saw a post on social media that had me completely shaken to my core. Two of my favorite things to sip in the summer, mixed together, in one of the strangest combinations I've ever heard. Come to find out, it has an actual name and indeed IS a thing. It's called the Spaghett.
Now, before you clutch your pearls or imagine tomato sauce in your cocktail, let me stop you right there. The Spaghett is super simple: Miller High Life, a splash of Aperol and a squeeze of lemon juice. That’s it. Three ingredients. No shaking, no stirring, no fancy bar tools. You literally pour an ounce of Aperol and a bit of fresh lemon juice straight into a cold bottle of Miller High Life and boom, you’re ready to rock and roll like a mullet at a family reunion.
RECIPE:
• Miller High Life
• 1 ounce Aperol
• 1/2-ounce Lemon Juice
I know, it sounds a little unhinged. But listen, it’s light; it’s fruity; it’s got that slight bitterness that Aperol brings to the party; and the lemon adds a tart kick that keeps your taste buds dancing. Plus, you’ve got the champagne of beers, Miller High Life.
The cocktail (if you can call it that) was named after a Tim and Eric character obsessed with spaghetti. Created in 2016 by bartender Reed Cahill at Wet City Brewery in Baltimore, it’s an Aperol Spritz with a twist. A spritz that got lost at a dive bar and decided to make the most of it.
If your idea of a good time includes lawn chairs, gas station ice and wearing cut-off jeans as swim trunks, then the Spaghett is for you. It’s weird; it’s cheap; and basically, your ticket to a boat with one working speaker and a playlist that might include “Free Bird.” Cheers to that, and cheers to the summer.
Take a big gulp of your Miller High Life, then pour the rest of the ingredients right in the bottle. No shaking, no stirring, just keep it simple.
“The Journey Part 2” : The Promise and Five Embryos
We never expected our road to parenthood to look this way; uneven, aching and constantly interrupted by the unexpected. We had always wanted children, always pictured a house filled with little voices and laughter, instead we had a house with three voices, that yes, laughed of course, but also had many other expressions of feelings as well: yelling, crying and silence. Peyton has always been more than enough for us; however, underneath the joy of being his mom and dad, there was quiet suffering.
I (Ashley) have been living with chronic pain for years. Rheumatoid arthritis had stiffened some of my joints and settled in the knuckles of my hands like an unrelenting storm. Before this diagnosis, I would be extremely fatigued, drained even, and couldn’t get out of bed sometimes. It was depressing to say the least. No one understood! The unhelpful advice and/or lectures were hurtful, and I felt all alone for years. I lost friends because of my inability to leave the house. On good days when I felt OK, I felt like I had to play catch up with my personal responsibilities and duties to my home and family. Even today I find it hard to go go go and am still met with advice or questions. Relo is such a busy body, and I refuse to try and keep up with him anymore. I must prioritize my energy and know my limits. While I feel so much better than I did in the past, I still get fatigued and hurt, so I’m careful about where I spend my time and where I pour my energy. That has offended a few people for some reason, but I have learned to let them feel all their uncomfortable feelings without me feeling responsible for them. Every morning was a battle, and still is sometimes. Sometimes just getting out of bed requires more energy than I have but I do it. I get out of bed and take my time getting ready for the day. I smile, I work, I handle business and no one would ever know the pain I am in. Some say that’s fake;
friends say, “Girl, you’re so strong,” some call that resilient. I call it life. This pain can’t control me. I refuse to go back to that! With all of that, Relo, too, has suffered in silence, often smiling through the pain. We don’t necessarily like being the center of attention. I know that is hard to believe considering, Relo is the current Mr. Ponca City. I admit he is far more social than I am; but to the core, he is quite the silent type. He is very observant and kind of shy. A little mysterious, even, until you get to know him. So, opening up about all of this has taken us both out of our comfort zone.
Last month I (Relo) revealed I had been diagnosed with a benign brain tumor in 2016. This is not a tumor affecting the brain tissue or structure, but a tumor on my pituitary gland that is located on the brain. It has
disrupted my hormonal balance, affecting everything from my moods to my energy levels. The emotional whiplash became a normal part of our lives at one point. While this is not something that can kill me per se, it is very serious and can cause other major issues. The pituitary gland is often called the “master gland” because it plays a vital role in regulating countless bodily functions by producing and releasing important hormones. It directly influences other hormone-producing glands as well, essentially affecting the entire body! Growth, metabolism, reproduction and the body’s response to stress are all affected. This gland is responsible for many hormones like Adrenocorticotropic hormone, which stimulates the adrenal glands to produce cortisol that helps regulate blood pressure, respond to stress and manage sugar, fat and protein metabolism. Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) plays a crucial role in reproduction, affecting egg release in women and sperm production in men. Growth hormone regulates growth in childhood and adolescence and helps maintain body structure and metabolism in adults. Luteinizing hormone (LH) works with FSH to regulate reproductive functions. Prolactin stimulates breast milk production (lactation). Thyroid-stimulating
Story by Relo Adams, MS, MCP, LPC-C / Ashley Adams, M.Ed, MCP, LPC-C /Contributing Writers
hormone (TSH) controls the production of hormones by the thyroid gland, which affects metabolism and growth. Antidiuretic hormone (ADH) helps kidneys manage water levels in the body. And Oxytocin plays a role in reproductive functions, including childbirth and breastfeeding. There are more, I’m sure.
This gland also regulates other glands and controls the release of hormones from the thyroid, adrenal and gonads. This gland is an important part of the endocrine system. I can go on and on. The point is: It is important and when there is a tumor growing on it people can experience crazy side effects like bone issues, headaches, issues with your heart due to excessive growth hormonal imbalances, skin and hair issues, kidney and eye problems. I am thankful to have effective treatment for this condition and the best doctor anyone could ask for! Pretty intense; us both dealing with our own issues, while maintaining the best we could…or can!
We carry the invisible weight of medical challenges that sometimes lead to mental health struggles and try desperately to hold onto one another through it all, the three of us. Our marriage, though rooted in Christ, and deep love, was tested a few times over the last 14 years. Shocker. Communication often broke down. We always loved each other, but sometimes didn’t know how to reach across the chaos or bed and say it or show it. Despite it all, the dream of conceiving a child hadn’t faded. From 2015 to 2023, we completed fertility treatments with Mercy Hospital, Bennett Fertility, Integris and MCRM and the cycle of hope, heartbreak and resilience repeated. Every time Ashley’s cycle started, it brought with it a fresh wave of grief often leading to Ashley questioning her faith. And still, we pressed on, clinging to faith, clinging to one another and clinging to the belief that God was still writing our story.
We celebrated every small win: a follicle that grew, a test result that looked promising, a phone call that didn’t bring bad news. There were times when Ashley produced multiple perfectly sized eggs from a single round of treatment, and we were told she’d birth multiples due to how many were present and the quality and size and due to the specific procedures that were done to make it happen! But it never happened. Over time, disappointment became the norm. After a few rounds of testing, this time focusing on me, doctors finally confirmed that IVF was our only path forward.
We began researching clinics and settled on one in Tulsa that came highly recommended. It is actually considered
the best in Oklahoma. From the start, something didn’t sit right with Ashley. The environment was beautiful. White marble, gold fixtures, chandeliers everywhere. This clinic screamed ASHLEY. She followed her intuition and searched again, prayed for direction and found a clinic where she felt peace. In the fall of 2024, we began the IVF process. The hormone shots, pills, ultrasounds and daily regimen became a second full-time job. Ashley’s body, already taxed by chronic pain, struggled to keep up. Her energy plummeted, pain flared and emotionally she wavered between hope and despair. All while presenting to the world a perfect, unbothered face.
After a million shots and pills, the day of the egg retrieval came. Seven eggs were fertilized and of those, five were viable. Five chances. Five tiny hopes. In November, two embryos were transferred, and we waited with bated breath, tiptoeing emotionally, afraid to believe too much, afraid not to. Peyton often crashed out emotionally due to the uncertainty, inconsistency and inattention from us, his parents. What a time… When the results came back negative, it was like being hit by a slowmoving train as there had been no signs of implantation. Nothing. Ashley sat at the kitchen table unable to cry, just numb. And I sat outside in my truck drinking my custombrewed Mr. Ponca City beer (Vortex) as tears fell silently. Peyton? Thankfully he was at Fernando’s house, his best bud.
and education. We were always distracted, always tired. His grades and motivation slipped, and he got into trouble at school. He started being rude, making unwise decisions and his communication with us changed. He didn’t feel secure enough to say, “I’m not okay.” Crazy. Two children’s therapists. Two real human beings going through it with their child! This brought on snarky comments, and lots of judgement. None of this was helpful, it just made us feel more alone as a family. The comments, made in love of course, about our priorities and doing too much but not enough for our kid and parenting advice was the icing on the cake. We felt like we were losing everything at once. One thing remained; there were three embryos left. Three souls. But what would it cost us to try again? What would it cost Peyton?
changed. We prayed not just for a baby, but for clarity, for strength, for healing, for peace regardless of any specific outcome. And slowly, peace began to bloom. Hadn’t we always asked for a child to love? To raise? To call our own? And here he was, even when we felt broken, even when we didn’t believe we deserved the miracle. We were living with our answered prayer all along! We even chose his name before we even met him. Before he was even born! We had begged God to fill our arms, and He had. Reminding us of the big responsibility of raising and nurturing the child we have! Were we wrong to move forward? Should we stop what we started?
Our doctors believed Ashley’s rheumatoid arthritis had caused inflammation that made it difficult for the embryos to attach and that realization hurt even more for Ashley. She thought “my own body, once again, was the barrier.” Meanwhile, Peyton was unraveling. He had seen us disappear into stress and sterile clinics while appointments overlapped with his activities
I (Ashley) wrestled with guilt. I blamed myself, even though I wasn’t the one with the infertility diagnosis anymore. Still, I felt my body had failed to nurture life, and I somehow wasn’t woman enough, good enough or worthy enough to have *this* desire of my heart. I questioned God again and again, asking if He even heard me. Was this punishment? Was I doing something wrong? This time, something was different. I may have questioned God, but I never questioned my faith in God and instead of questioning my faith, I dug in deeper. I prayed harder; I asked for help; I let my guard down; and I stopped worrying about a presentation. No more smiling through the pain. What you saw is what you got. I (Relo) dug in deeper too. I sought God harder than ever. I’ve read my Bible more than I ever have before. I’ve never been a crier, but there have been times I’d just cry over its pages. My heart changed and softened the more I pursued God, rather than perusing personal desires. Our prayers
We stopped playing the blame game and let the guilt go and saw ourselves for who we are: two people who fought hard, loved deeply and sacrificed endlessly. I (Ashley) saw Relo as the man who never gave up on me, who held me down when I couldn’t walk or get out of bed, who whispered, “You’re enough,” when I didn’t believe it. Realizing we’ve already been given what we asked for brought some peace, but my desire to carry a child still burned and we weren’t giving up. We were just choosing to see the full picture and choosing to recognize the answered prayers, the fulfilled promise: parenthood. The decision still loomed. Three embryos. Do we try again? Face another round of injections, hormones, possible rejection? Risk pushing Peyton further away? Or do we protect the peace we’ve fought so hard to find? At that time, we didn’t have an answer. Not yet. And for once, the silence didn’t scare us. We knew the road ahead might still hold pain. But we also knew we would walk it together as a family hand in hand, hearts open and faith intact. With God, therapy and tremendous support from our close friends and family, the three of us have been carried. Our family isn’t just made in waiting rooms or test tubes. It’s made in late-night conversations, in Ashley and Peyton’s late-night ice cream trips, in forgiveness, in resilience, in love. Three embryos remain. Three decisions. One family.
To be continued…
If you or someone you know needs mental health assistance of any kind, please feel free to reach out to your local community mental health agency, call or text 988 the suicide and crisis lifeline or call 911 for immediate emergencies.
Take care of yourselves, and each other,
-Ashley Adams and Relo Adams, Mr. Ponca City
Having the Conversation:
A Child’s Experience
Story by Stephanie Krenn | Contributing Writer
Alligator tears streaming down his eight-year-old face broke me more than my actual diagnosis. That memory is seared so deep that nothing will erase the moment my son asked me if I was going to die. My husband and I had recently told Braden that I had cancer, and his young mind had been processing what that could mean for his mom. I took a deep breath and held back my own tears as I reassured him a great medical team was helping me fight hard to beat cancer. His tears dried up as quickly as they began and he side-swiped me again with his response of “OK good, can we go eat lunch now?” With the promise that he could order anything he wanted off the menu, his smile then I was dragged through the Wild Wings. Children are so resilient (and hungry)!
personal decision. We knew I would not be able to hide the side effects of treatment over the next year, so we brought him into the process appropriate as possible. The most obvious sign of
treatment would be the loss of my hair. The day I woke up to clumps of hair on my pillow, I decided it was time to embrace it. I had the crazy thought to give Braden and one of my girls each a pair of scissors. As they began to chop off my hair in chunks and at random angles, they giggled and made a giant mess on the floor. They were still talking and laughing about how cool it was to cut my hair as my husband and I went into the other room to complete the process with a shave, and I could sit in the moment. I still do not know what made me hand over scissors to kids, but each of us remembers that moment as more funny than sad, so I am grateful. Different occasions spark conversations about Braden and me playing board games on my bed, how he got away with eating food in his room and a lot more screen time on his tablet, and how often he played at the park with my husband or a friend while I rested. Braden’s school secretary, a cancer survivor herself, also spent a lot of time spoiling him with extra treats and hugs on days Braden knew I had appointments or surgeries.
before we left. His normal cheery voice was soft and hesitant, so I went back inside and granted his request. When I returned with a full head of hair, he perked right up and we were on our way to the drop-off line. Over the next few weeks, I noticed his attitude shift toward the negative, and outbursts and frustrations were increasing. None of that was like him. I decided to check into counseling sessions and then we found our way to Camp Kesem. It is a national program with camps in each state dedicated to children whose parents or guardians have cancer. Kesem gave my son a community of other children that understood what he was feeling and thinking even when he could not express it in words. Just as I needed the Project31 community of survivors, he needed camaraderie to process through his own experiences. He attended for several years, and it was a wonderful time for his healing. He has developed a love and compassion to care for others, and I believe he learned by example from those who loved and cared for our whole family in that season.
His natural personality was to be helpful if I needed things, and he checked on me often. For his age, he was understanding about my being too sick sometimes to leave the house, but I still attended as many events as possible. As he grew from eight years old to nine, it was a simple interaction that prompted me to reach out for help on his behalf. I was about to take him to school, and since I already knew I would need a nap once I dropped him off, I grabbed a headscarf instead of my normal wig. We made it to the car before he looked up and asked me if I would put on my wig
Though it was painful to expose my son to pieces of my lengthy cancer care, we are closer for the experience. My original promise still stands to keep fighting, and he continues to pick whatever food he wants on our regular trips to Buffalo Wild Wings. It is now our tradition. The one promise I made to myself was accomplished in May of this year when I was physically present for his high school graduation! It was a goal I was not sure I would reach when my child was questioning the future for us both. That milestone has been crossed, and we are both anticipating all the wonderful memories we will make moving forward.
All my best, until next time.
Real Self-Care for Real Life
Story By Tara Fredrick | Contributing Writer
Finding Joy in the Little Things
Healing hasn’t been about the big, dramatic moments for me. It’s been about finding joy in the little things. A perfect cup of coffee, a golden sunset, the feel of Lucky’s fur when he curls up beside me, purring away all my worries.
JoJo had this incredible ability to find joy in the simplest things. Despite her limitations, she could light up a room with her smile just by watching her favorite show or hearing me read her a story. Losing her taught me to slow down and appreciate the small moments I used to overlook.
I’ve started making it a ritual to jot down the little things that made me smile each day. It’s a practice that helps me remember that even in the hardest moments, beauty exists. Healing doesn’t have to be complicated—sometimes, it’s just about finding a little light when it feels the darkest.
I love how little joys can sneak up on you when you least expect it. It’s like JoJo’s spirit reminding me to keep finding beauty in the world. Even on the toughest days, I know she’s there with me, helping me see the good.
In October 2023, my life changed forever when I lost my daughter, Jolene Rose. JoJo, as we called her, was my everything. Born with physical disabilities, she taught me unconditional love, strength and resilience. Her passing left me shattered, but self-care became my lifeline. It helped me rebuild, heal and honor her memory. Now, through this column, I’m sharing my journey and tools to help others care for themselves, no matter what life throws their way. Selfcare isn’t selfish – it’s survival, and it’s how we thrive.
