Page 1

We see you back there Sammy. You can’t hide from us.

A summary of the Game of Thrones series, as told by someone who has only seen bits and pieces of the show when her friends watch it.            

  

   

   

Penis Penis Woman dying by circular fire Subtitles and a foreign language? Little baby dragons Penis Boobs “Winter is coming” Dying child Old man penis Cool horses Guy getting his eyes cut out of his face then getting his throat slit Butts Lots more throat slitting Dude getting shot with a crossbow while pooping Dude getting eaten by his doggies Nasty flesh stabbing sounds More penis and boobs Another person gets their eyes messed up and their skull crushed Butt Butt Butt End credits

This is an image of the Southern ho down I was talking about earlier...

What are you doing????? Avengers: Endgame is out!!! Go watch it!!! Audiences and critics love it so much! I did too!!! (At least 5 of my predictions were right. Can you guess which ones?)

Why are dining options on campus so limited? UMSL has a small campus, with only a select few dining options on either North or South Campus. If you are a normal, traditional eater, then you probably have no issues with finding food to eat on campus. If, however, you have food allergies like me, then there are very few options to eat on campus. Where are all the vegans? What do they eat? What about just plain old vegetarians? Do they have good dining options? And how about those who have Celiac or Crohn’s Disease, or some other gastrointestinal condition? I am allergic to corn, soy, wheat, dairy, and pine nuts, effectively eliminating the majority of the foods available at the food vendors on the UMSL campus. I can literally have a salad from The Nosh, and that is about it. UMSL, dietary restrictions are a real thing, and are becoming more and more common. Can something be done to address this issue? If even one of the food-service vendors on campus took serious allergies into consideration, I would eat there regularly. Due to the limited choices I have now, I usually don’t eat on campus unless I bring my own food. This is a shame and a loss of revenue for the school. It seems like something should be done to take these student’s dietary needs into account.

Recommendation Station: The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Recently, YouTube (after what assuredly must have been my phone listening to my conversations and learning that I would like to waste as much time as humanly possible) recommended several videos of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner to me. After being angered that politics had entered what is meant to be my temple of Vine compilations and cute dog videos, I decided to watch one of the videos and was shockingly, pleasantly surprised. What is the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, you may ask? I’m not exactly sure still, but I do know that the main event of the dinner is a comedic performance that gives prominent comedians the chance to roast the president, congresspeople, senators, cabinet members, news media, journalists, and the general American population all in one short 20 minute time frame. The best part is that most of these people getting made fun of are in attendance at the dinner, and the cameras pan to them awkwardly pretending to laugh and be good sports, when in reality they are pissed off and can’t actually take the joke. I can’t stress how delightful a sight this is. If you have never watched a White House Correspondents Dinner before, it’s probably because a) you have much better ways to spend your time than watching a bunch of ambiguous journalists eat a free dinner and awkwardly pretend to laugh as they get publicly roasted in front of the president or b) because the dinner is broadcast on CSPAN. If you you’ve never watched CSPAN before, just go to your TV guide and press the up button until your finger cramps (I stole this joke directly from Cecily Strong. Many thanks to her and the other good people of SNL who I regularly steal jokes from for Brain Stew). I personally have never watched a White House Correspondent’s Dinner up until yesterday, and I am sad I have been missing out all these years. They are really funny, and there’s a bunch of them on YouTube you can watch right now. So, in order to compensate for lost time (and, ya know, avoid my actual responsibilities), I watched eight of them in a row. But even after watching over three hours worth of these videos in one sitting, I still am not really sure who (what?) the White House Correspondents are. For the first two videos, I thought they were saying “White House Correspondence,” which honestly makes more sense considering what the event is and is a far better homonym, IMHO (let the record show this is the first time I have used the word “homonym” since the fourth grade and that I initially spelled the word so wrong that even Autocorrect had no idea wtf I was talking about). Anyways, y’all should definitely check out some of these videos! Past presenters have included Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Cecily Strong, Hasan Minhaj, Joel McHale, and Michelle Wolf. This year’s Correspondents’ Dinner is April 27th *, with the comedic performance being presented by Ron Chernow (tbh I have no idea who this is, so sorry if he sucks) Be sure to check it out on CSPAN, which can be found on channel 18563749 (another joke that I stole) * Oh, you mean this issue of Brain Stew didn’t come out until May 3rd and the Dinner already happened? Sucks to suck, I guess.

Nicole, The only thing that hasn’t changed about you is your hair. I am very happy this necklace is gone.

Profile for Pierre Laclede Honors College

Brain Stew 18' / 19' - Issue 14  

Brain Stew 18' / 19' - Issue 14