Oh, this one is easy! It definitely has to be “Songs from movies that SHOULD NOT BE SUCH BOPS!” There is guaranteed to be something at least everyone will want to hear while they study. With songs like How Bad Can I Be? From the Lorax (my personal favorite vegan certified movie), and tons of quality songs, you can’t go wrong!. Other songs like Big and Chunky, Funkytown, Kung Fu
Fighting, Goofy Goober Rock, and every single song by Alvin and the Chipmunks makes this a winner for me.
What is your recommended Spotify playlist for students to study to?
Ed Munn
I can’t stand any of you BrainStew janks. Every single day I walk into my office and it’s covered in this shit and it makes me want to burn this entire building to the ground.
I don’t care what students listen to so long as they are actually studying and keeping their GPAs decent… But, since you won’t leave me alone until I answer this question, my personal favorite work playlist is “Anime Kawaii Cat Girl’s Favorite Songs.”
Dan Gerth
I typically recommend students to go into the Provincial House Chapel to listen to the spirits of the dead nuns chant their Godly hymns for eternity. It really gets them in the mood for studying.
Audri Adams
WHAT HIGH SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO?
Why is that the first thing everyone from Missouri ask? Leave me alone. I'm not from here.
My official Ed Munn Digital Trading Card Collection is here! These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my Life & Career! Collect all of your favorite Munn Digital Trading Cards, very much like a baseball card, but hopefully much more exciting.
At $69 each, these cars are a STEAL for What you are Getting! They are extremely limited and NFE (non-fungible Eds) so they can only go uP in value! Only 420 will be sold. See me, Your Favorite Dean, in real-life action.
*These Digital Trading Cards are not political and have nothing to do with any political campaign. NFE INT LLC is now owned, managed, or controlled by Ed Munn Sanchez or The Munn Organization.
MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!
CONTEST
CONTEST CONTEST! DID YOU WIN? PROBABLY NOT! BUT FOUR PEOPLE
ACTUALLY TRIED! The contest was…Abby says that Zenzi’s hobbies include crime. Explain. The best answer wins a piece of Honors swag from the alumni office (possibilities include mug, beer glass, hat, tote bag, and more).
Dearest don Dan,
The allegations raised by Abby in regards the more peculiar activities of Zenzi the cat is nothing more than groundless accusations based solely on dubious circumstantial evidence. My client, Zenzi, is innocent of all charges, and by looking through the listing of evidence gathered by The Local Official, I am sure that you can agree that Zenzi is nothing more than a victim of slander.
Zenzi has reached out to our organization to represent him in Court. We humbly ask that you do not engage in the publishing of libel against him in future correspondence and refrain from hostile actions against Zenzi the cat. Thank you.
Sincerely, Joey Kenny
Attorney at Paw, representing The Local Offical, PETA's very own Audri Adams (or so I was told to write)
Mr. Gerth,
Zenzi's crime is not one of a local nature. He is clearly the famous international art destroyer, known for this calling sign of leaving a dead mouse as a gift after every crime spree. Homes across Europe have reported a single claw through canvas portraits across Europe. French investigators have been clawing to get their paws on the phat cat behind the crime spree. There is no rhyme or reason for the damages. Investigators report that the damages appear to happen out of nothing but spite.
I'm sure Zenzi is a sweet affectionate cat until it's not.
I am clearly avoiding my massive workload by typing ludicrous stories about a cat I don't even know. In fact, I have an anaphylactic allergy to cats... so, I've never spent time with one. I avoid them at all costs. I just really don't want to do my schoolwork.
Have a wonderful day!
Hope VanBennekom
Zenzi is a mobster - secretly running the catering around town. I mean, what else could he be doing, and it’s a lucrative business buying and selling tuna and meow-mix. –Irina
Biedenstein
It seems pretty clear to me that that cat commits tax evasion. Probably not a good idea for Abby to tell you about it, actually. The IRS is going to be knocking on Zenzi's doorstep at any minute now.
–Saida Donaldson
The crimes include a very rough start by absorbing the other kittens in the womb. Starting right off the bat with murder! Other crimes include breaking many of their owner’s glasses and teasing the neighborhood dogs. This cat is a war criminal and must be treated as such. We demand action!
Thank you, Riley Andreasen
Who wins?
Hanna Smid: I think Joey. Or Hope. They are so respectful of Dan and call him “don” and “mister.” It’s so cute. They don’t realize he’s just a homeless wino whose picture we use in Brain Stew.
Anna Shuler: I should not be allowed to vote because I have not submitted enough to Brain Stew this year. And am not in Dan’s Comedy Writing class. I’m filled with shame and self-loathing.
Abby Wall: You’re both wrong. Brain Stew does not have enough dead baby jokes. So, Riley wins.
RILEY, PLEASE EMAIL DAN TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO PICK UP SOME HONORS SWAG! THANKS TO ALL FOR COMPETING!
LearningSign Language
I
AM SO VERY HAPPY
D ̸̻̈́ e ̴̲̂ a ̵͚͒ r ̸̼́ ̶̥͑ B ̵̠͐ r ̷͍̎ a ̴̝̋ i n ̶͈̉ ̶̥͑ S ̵̣̕ t ̵͕͐ e ̵̣̕ w ̴̞̂ , ̴̲̂ Y ̴̲̂ o ̸̰̍ u ̴̶̢̥̈́͑ h ̶̮̊ a ̷̟̌ v ̴̫͝ e ̶̬̃ ̶̥͑ ̶͈̉ t e ̷̏ͅ n ̶̥͑ m ̷̟̌ i ̴̝̋ n ̸̪͋ u ̶̘͛ t ̴̹̍ e s ̴̢̈́. ̴͓̇ E ̷͔͌ a ̷͉̅ t ̶̥͑ t ̷̟̌ h ̸̰̍ i ̵͚͒ s ̶̮̊ ̶̥͑ ̸̼́ l ̷͔͌ e t ̸̰̍ t ̷͉̅ e r ̶͈̉ . ̸̼́ ̵̠͐ P ̷̯̒ . ̶̮̊ S ̶̘͛ . ̷͔͌ : ̵̣̕ ̶̥͑ ̵͚͒ I ̴̗̈ f ̶̥͑ D ̴͖͘ a n ̶̤̔ ̶̥͑ ̸̻̈́ G ̴͓̇ ̸̦͑ r ̵͚͒ t ̵̣̕ h ̷̏ͅ ̶̥͑ ̸̻̈́ d ̵͕͐ o ̸̰̍ e ̴̫͝ s ̸̺̊ ̶̥͑ ̵͚͒ n ̵͕͐ o ̷͔͌ t ̴͖͘ ̶̥͑ ̷͉̅ s ̴͓̇ t ̸̪͋ r ̷̟̌ a ̸̼́ p ̷̏ͅ ̶̥͑ ̶̬̃ t ̴̢̈́h e ̴̝̋ ̶̥͑ C ̷̟̌ 4̷͍̇ ̷͍̎ ̶̥͑ t ̸̼́ h ̴̜̑ ̴͎̍ ̵̣̕ ̶̥͑ ̴͓̇ c ̸̻̈́ a ̸̼́ m ̵͚͒ e ̶̥͑ w ̸̪͋ i ̵͚͒ t ̸̼́ h ̶̥͑ ̴̢̈́t ̶̤̔ h i s ̸̻̈́ ̶̥͑ ̴̲̂ l ̴̗̈ ̷͍̎ t ̴̢̈́t ̴̹̍ e r ̴͖͘ ̶̥͑ t ̵͚͒ o ̴͎̍ ̶̥͑ ̷̯̒ h ̷̟̌ i s ̵̣̕ ̶̥͑ ̵͚͒ c ̴̞̂ h ̸̻̈́ e ̸̰̍ s ̵͚͒ t ̵͚͒ , ̵͕͐ ̶̥͑ ̴̝̋ w e ̶̥͑ w ̶͈̉ i ̴͖͘ ̶͈̉ l ̷͍̎ ̶̥͑ s t ̵͕͐ a ̴̫͝ r ̴̨͛t ̵͕͐ ̶̥͑ ̶̬̃ s ̶̤̔ h ̴̝̋ o ̷̏ͅ o ̶͈̉ t ̸̼́ i n ̴̝̋ g ̸̰̍ ̶̥͑ ̷͉̅ h ̷͔͌ o ̴̲̂ s ̸̦͑ t ̵̠͐ a ̶̤̔ g ̷͔͌ e ̵̠͐ s ̶͇̀ . ̶̮̊ ̶̥͑ ̵͕͐ S ̸̼́ i ̸̻̈́ g ̷͉̅ ̵̣̕ e ̴̝̋ d ̶̘͛ , ̴̹̍ N ̴̨͛o ̷͍̎ t ̶̥͑ ̶͈̉ ̷͔͌ e ̴̢̈́d ̴̹̍ d ̶̮̊ y ̷͍̎ ̶̥͑ ̴̲̂ K ̵̠͐ ̶̥͑ ̸̪͋ ̶̮̊ B o ̸̦͑ m ̸̺̊ b ̸̻̈́ ̶̥͑ M ̴̝̋ i n ̶̮̊ e ̴̞̂ p ̸̦͑ p ̸̰̍ o ̴̗̈ l ̸̦͑ i s ̵͕͐ . ̷͍̎
What the hell did I just read? “Brain Stew's mission is to provide for the Pierre Laclede Honors College student body a forum for uncensored free thought, commentary, and creativity, as well as news and event listings from PLHCSA and other related campus organizations,” yak yak yak! We publish A LOT OF THINGS. Like, things that make Ed regret ever taking a job at the Honors College!
We’ve been publishing since 1991 (or 1993). Longer than Dan’s car has been running, somehow. We must be doing a good job though. Despite our best efforts, grown-ups keep giving us awards stuff like Best Sustained Program in 2012 and 2017, and Best Cultural Awareness Program in 2018. Even some shady committee called the “National Collegiate Honors Council” gave us awards in 2017, 2018, and Program of the Year in 2020.
Disclaimer: We issue no content guidelines beyond those of state, local, and federal law. All content is the responsibility of the creator. UMSL, PLHC, PLHCSA, and the Brain Stew staff are in no way obligated to print anything. In short, submit what you want, but we don’t have to print it if you’re being a little monster!
How to submit: Send your stuff to umslbrainstew@umsystem.edu
How to stalk:
@umslbrainstew @UMSLBrainStew
