The Penmen Press | 13
rules where there needs to be equal opportunity for both men and women, and marbles provide equal opportunity for both men and women.” SNHU will be competing as the Manchester Hamsters. New team captain Rory Poroly was willing to explain the intricacies of marble racing. “Marble racing is life itself, the swell of pride you get as your marbles cross the finish line first, the rush of adrenaline from the sounds of glass sliding over plastic. There’s nothing else like it. It’s without a doubt the most challenging sport cause it’s all about stamina and performance. If you overcommit early then you’re not going to be able to give repeat performances in later rounds.” The full impact of this decision won’t be evident until later, but more information will be provided as details become available.
Marble Race Track. (image courtesy: Jelle’s Marble Runs)
SNHU Announces New Program Lead by Ex-Olympian Steven Covey Staff Writer SNHU announces their new ski jumping program lead by exOlympian, Josephi Krakowski. SNHU President Paul LeBlanc thought that an ex-Olympian like Krakowski leading the program would be a great addition to the athletic department. “I’m quite grateful I found him,” said LeBlanc. “He’s a tragic athlete that failed to show his worth at the 2010 winter Olympic games in Vancouver. I, however, admired him for his skill and talent even though he lost to Andreas Küttle, who earned the gold medal.” According to LeBlanc, “Krakowski has had a difficult time after his defeat in Vancouver. One of these notable tribulations was when he tried acting, but lost the spotlight to Phil Swift. And he’s been struggling ever since. Still, I’m glad I ran into him and offered him the job. Who knows, maybe SNHU will get more athletes because of him.” Some employees feel differently
about the ex-Olympian working for SNHU. “I can’t stand him,” said Anthony Fallacaro, Director of Athletics and Recreation. “The first meeting we had with him was abysmal. Krakowski decided it would be funny to give us a ski jumping demonstration, and it ended with him smashing his ski against my computer. I can’t say anything to LeBlanc because he and Krakowski are buddies. I just have to wait until this guy messes up.” Even with a handful of employees disliking him, Krakowski has already done so much for the athletic department. Once receiving the job from LeBlanc, Krakowski used his own money to purchase the McIntyre Ski Area for the university. Along with securing the ski resort, Krakowski purchased plenty of ski equipment for the university’s students. Since the announcement of the ski jumping program, applications to participate on the team have
Josephi Krakowski. (image courtesy: JonTron) tripled. With 98% of SNHU applicants applying for the program, Krakowski has already made a significant impact on the SNHU community. Krakowski may be able to redeem himself and create an awardwinning team for SNHU.
