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7 expert tips for handling their stress (and yours) 41
SEE THE FUTURE OF YOUTH-
LED SOCIAL CHANGE
Powerful new exhibition spotlights iconic youth leaders 12
OCTOBER 2019 S
Fall’s a Ball
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inside OCTOBER 2019
,cause parenting is a trip!
29
Parenting
6 DEAR READER
Wondering how to be a role model for your child? Surprise! You already are.
9 CRIB NOTES
6 adorable gender-neutral baby shower ideas
WELLNESS 10 Groundbreaking support for children with autism
Feature 41 AGES + STAGES
Managing meltdowns in easily distressed children
45 LEARNING MEDIA
15 apps and resources to support learning and attention issues
47 PARENT DAY JOBS
This mompreneur has created a space for healing through art
16 KNOW THE REAL DANGERS
OF KIDS’ SCREEN USE
Three worries you can actually do something about
Out + About 22 OCTOBER CALENDAR 29 HAVE A BALL THIS FALL
14 Why menstruation can be worse
Savor a spooktacular sampler of seasonal family fun
21 Nonsuicidal self-injury is on the rise
Advertising Sections
during midlife
in adolescent girls
12 IT STARTS WITH YOU(TH)
New exhibition spotlights 10 iconic youth leaders
19 BEYOND TOLERANCE
inside u
28–30 A rts + Activities 36–40 S chools + Preschools 42–44 N WAIS 46 H alloween + Harvest
How to safeguard children with special needs from bullying
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 5
note
Role modeling rules!
W
We offer on the University of Washington Seattle campus: Transition School • UW Academy • Saturday Enrichment Summer Programs • Professional Development • RC Online Challenging K-12 students in an intellectual community through early entrance and outreach learning programs. SATURDAY ENRICHMENT Current Grades K-8 The Saturday Enrichment classes provide intellectually ambitious students with challenge, inspiration, and fun, in a collaborative, supportive learning environment. Classes meet for one or two hours per week on Saturdays at the UW Seattle Campus to explore topics not usually covered in the K-8 curriculum. Registration for Winter Quarter opens November 17th.
e don’t need a long list of experts lined up to tell us that the “significant shifts in screen media consumption over the last 10 years have negatively impacted our children.” I am resolutely allied with Emily Cherkin, author of Know the Real Dangers of Kids’ Screen Use (p.17). She believes that excessive screen time is public health issue No. 2, second only to the impacts of climate change. And like the leading health risks of yesteryear — not wearing seat belts, cigarette smoking — we don’t really need more research to conclusively determine that too much screen time results in a myriad of negative impacts on our health and well-being. It’s a concerning moment in human history when a term, “continuous partial engagement,” has been coined to explain how we, as parents, often behave. This phrase refers to an all-too common state of being physically present with our family and friends but emotionally detached from them due to our parallel digital media use and consumption. Go to any playground and you’ll easily spot examples of continuous partial engagement, such as parents absent-mindedly pushing their child on a swing while absorbed in their smartphones. We can’t afford to be emotionally disengaged and distracted from our kids — their childhood goes by way faster than we think! When it comes to any bad habit our kids may be developing that we share, from foul language to rude behavior, parental role modeling rules. Our present parenting and committed demonstration of self-discipline with respect to our own use of digital media and devices is at the foundation for change.
EARLY ENTRANCE PROGRAMS Mark Your Calendars for our Info Session Dates! • Thursday, Oct 10 – UW Seattle Campus, 7-9pm, Kane Hall 210 • Saturday, Nov 2 – South Seattle Community College, Time & Room TBA • Thursday, Nov 21 – UW Seattle Campus, Time & Room TBA Transition School (TS) is a one-year college preparatory program for students intending to enter the Early Entrance Program at the University of Washington in what would normally be their freshman year of high school. Once admitted, Transition School students take fast-paced, accelerated courses in English, History, Biology and Precalculus. Following successful completion of the Transition School year, students become regular, full-time students at the University of Washington. The UW Academy is an early university admission opportunity for high school sophomores in Washington State. Students apply to the program during their 10th grade year, and if accepted, withdraw from high school at the end of 10th grade to enroll as freshmen at the University of Washington. At the Robinson Center, UW Academy students find a community of like-minded peers and an experienced staff who can help them to make the most of their time at the UW. Interested? Join us at an info session this fall to learn more about our Early Entrance Programs and the application process. RSVP at our website robinsoncenter.uw.edu. While these info sessions mostly focus on these programs, it’s also a great chance to learn more about our Enrichment Programs!
www.RobinsonCenter.uw.edu Phone: 206-543-4160 Email: rcys@uw.edu 6 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
Speaking of role modeling and change, this month’s It Starts With You(th) column (p. 12) invites parents and their kids to attend “We the Future,” a dynamic new exhibition at the Gates Foundation Discovery Center featuring the inspiring stories of 10 young leaders who are working to catalyze a new era of human and environmental rights through their respective social change movements. We’ve all experienced an “amygdala hijack” at some point, with the emotional part of our brain overreacting to a stressor. Seven Parenting Tips for Managing Meltdowns in Easily Distressed Children (p.41) emphasizes how essential it is for us, as parents, to develop the skills to calm ourselves in order to help our kids learn to calm themselves. Again, role modeling rules the day! So, turn that smartphone off, grab your little pumpkins and get out of the house together — Fall’s a Ball (p.29) shares dozens of ways to be dazed by the maze (a corn maze, that is!) of fall harvest festivities, fun runs and Halloween happenings.
ParentMap
October 2019, Vol. 17, No. 10 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin
EDITORIAL
INTERIM MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald DIGITAL CONTENT PRODUCTION COORDINATOR
Nicole Persun
OUT + ABOUT EDITORIAL ASSISTANT
Dora Heideman
COPY EDITOR Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS
Gemma Alexander, Will Austin, Emily Cherkin, Samantha Facciolo, JiaYing Grygiel, Malia Jacobson, Laura Kastner, Ph.D., Annie Kuo, Rachael Mitchell Okerlund, Richard Porter, Nikki Yeager
DIGITAL MARKETING
DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER
Lindsey Carter
SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGIST + TRENDING EDITOR
Diana Cherry
MARKETING + OPERATIONS ASSISTANT
Maureen Taasin
EMAIL PRODUCTION SPECIALIST Angelica Lai
ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS
We handle with care.
SENIOR ADVERTISING AND PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER
Ida Wicklund
PARTNERSHIP ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVE
Jen Dine
AD OPERATIONS MANAGER Elisa Taylor ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES SPECIALIST
Jessica Collet
ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES ADMINISTRATION
Angela Goodwin
MARKETING/EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Brenna McCown EVENT COORDINATOR Mallory Dehbod MARKETING + EVENTS ASSISTANT Taryn Weiner
Franciscan Family Birth Centers
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ADMINISTRATION FINANCE MANAGER Sonja Hanson BUSINESS ANALYST Carolyn Brendel
PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD Benjamin Danielson, M.D.
ODESSA BROWN CHILDREN’S CLINIC
Joan Duffell COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
Laura Kastner, Ph.D.
PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
Bea Kelleigh
VICE PRESIDENT AT DOVETAILING, LLC
Yaffa Maritz, M.A.
LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTS
Ron Rabin THE KIRLIN FOUNDATION Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
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news
News Around Town
How about them apples?
Compassionate Leadership Summit
New startup needs YOU!
It’s not autumn in the Pacific Northwest without a family outing to pick our state’s signature fruit! There are bushels of ways to savor the apple bounty, from weekend getaways to Eastern Washington to day trips to U-pick orchards, cider-pressing events and apple festivals closer to home. You can even rent a press to make your own cider. We’ve gathered all the destinations and details in our guide to regional apple picking, events and festivals at parentmap.com/apples.
The University of Washington will host a unique, two-day (Nov. 8–9) summit focused on compassion as a vital component of healthy, sustainable communities and workplaces. Designed to convene learners and leaders from various sectors, the event will feature over 40 interactive presentations by visionaries, teachers, cultural trailblazers and creators who represent diverse applications of compassion and mindfulness. Learn more about the event and purchase tickets at compassionateleadershipsummit.com.
Did you know that Seattle-area providers of child care can make up to $100K a year caring for kids out of their home? The founders of a new startup, Weekdays, are on a mission to make high-quality child care more universally accessible and affordable by supporting enterprising individuals to start their own inhome childcare business. Managed services include starter funding and administrative, legal, technology, marketing and curriculum development support. Learn more at joinweekdays.com.
Giving Together 2019 THE ORGANIZATION KINDERING WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Kindering embraces children of diverse abilities and their families by providing the finest education and therapies to nurture hope, courage and the skills to soar.
THE MISSION
To help families thrive.
SUPPORT
Attend an event, make a donation or volunteer. Learn more at kindering.org.
8 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
ParentMap congratulates the 773 toddlers of all abilities who celebrated their graduation from Kindering in an Eastside ceremony on August 16. This year marked Kindering’s 57th graduating class of 3-year-olds with special needs who received earlyintervention therapies and education services at one of the organization’s campuses, in Bellevue, Bothell, Redmond and Renton.
all about baby Find Your Village Being a new parent can be really isolating, but baby, we’ve got your back. Sign ALLI ARNOLD
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From Recent Research to Gaga Gear
6 Adorable Gender-Neutral Baby Shower Ideas for Nonconformist Parents By Rachael Mitchell Okerlund
W
hether your reason for planning a genderneutral baby shower is simply that you’re waiting for the big surprise on delivery day, you’re averse to pink, or because you’ve made the decision to reject the gender binary until your child is old enough to tell you how they identify, a baby is something to celebrate! Here are six of our favorite gender-neutral baby shower themes. (Note: You’ll find links to all these themed ideas and recipes at parentmap.com/babyshower.)
Sweet as can ‘bee’ Go for pastel yellow and white or get graphic with black and white stripes! Think sunflowers in Mason jars, fresh lemonade and lots of sweet treats, such as cupcakes frosted thematically in the shape of a hive or gorgeous bee-shaped cookies. Honey jars or sticks and Burt’s Bees lip balm (or make your own if that’s your thing) make the cutest favors. Invite guests to play trivia, seeing who can correctly guess the most answers to questions about the “Parents-to-Bee.”
Inspiration from a children’s book For the literarily inclined, a shower inspired by a favorite children’s book is a smart and whimsical gender-neutral option. Encourage guests to help build baby’s library by including a book request with your invitation. Play book-themed emoji Pictionary or a matching game with the titles of popular books and a line or phrase from each of them. Decorate your party space with DIY book-page bunting or hang treasured books on twine to make the easiest garland ever. If you’re really going all out, get inspired to create book-cover cookies that are too cute for words.
The adventure of a lifetime Parenthood is life’s biggest adventure! Celebrate the journey with a travel-themed baby shower. Entertain guests with a “Baby Around the World” shower game, have guests write messages to baby on an old globe (which makes for cute nursery décor later) and set out a Polaroid camera for “souvenir photos.” Serving culinary
favorites from beloved travel destinations ensures there’s something for everyone; mini bruschetta from Italy, croissant sandwiches from France and tasty Mexican sopes are just a few options.
Baby-Q The perfect theme for those with an affinity for yard games and grilling, a “baby-Q” is about as laid back as it gets. Keep décor simple with red-and-white-checkered tablecloths and fresh flowers. Along with whatever you throw on the grill, serve corn on the cob and watermelon, and consider having a pie bar for dessert — or take the easy route and make the event a potluck! For a personal touch, send guests home with jars of homemade 15-minute barbecue sauce.
Welcome to the world, Little One! Over the moon to welcome your little one to the world? Plan a solar-system-themed shower, complete with paper-lantern planets or garlands of planets, a stunning crescent moon cake, and bowls of Starburst candies and fun-size Milky Way bars. Here’s a fun way to engage guests: Set out a jar of M&Ms and three more jars labeled “Early,” “On Time” and “Late.” Then have everyone cast their vote for when the baby will be arriving Earth-side.
Watch me grow Plants as décor are all the rage right now, and your botanical-themed baby shower will be, too! Decorate with lots of greenery, twine, and a garland with a chronology of baby and childhood pictures of each parent. (Make a game out of it by asking friends to guess the age at the time of each photo.) Offer guests a variety of fresh salads, with cutlery and cake displayed cleverly in or on terra-cotta pots. Wildflower seed packs or individual succulents make for thoughtful party favors that keep on growing. ■ Rachael Mitchell Okerlund is a desert-dwelling writer and mom who has an affinity for books, tacos and the moon. parentmap.com • October 2019 • 9
health + development
Gareth covers a lot of ground in the Sunderland family’s playroom
Caring for Every Child The Sunderlands were changed forever by the University of Washington’s groundbreaking support for children with autism. Now they want to help other families access the same opportunities. Gareth had a good day. The 6-year-old swung on the monkey bars during a morning trip to the park with his grandpa. Back at home, he played with his brother and sister under the watchful eyes of their parents, Bill and Alyssa Sunderland. It would have been a typical Saturday for many kids — but for Gareth, who has autism, good days are especially precious. By age 8, about one in 59 children in the United States is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. At the University of Washington (UW), a groundbreaking exploration of autism — from genetics research to diagnoses to inclusive learning — centers on helping children of all abilities get the resources and education they need to thrive. For Gareth and his family, the UW’s work is creating more good days. Looking for answers Gareth had been a happy baby, but his growth and language development weren’t showing the usual forward trajectory. “We knew something wasn’t right as early as seven months,” says Alyssa. “He would say a word or gain a skill, then lose another.” When Gareth was 15 months old, the Sunderlands’ pediatrician recommended screening for developmental delays. One option stood out: the UW’s Haring Center for Inclusive Education (haringcenter.org). Learning better by learning together Founded in 1964, the Haring Center is one of the country’s oldest centers for conducting research about, and providing education for, children with disabilities. All under one roof, its staff studies, tests and disseminates best practices for inclusive learning — and trains teachers from across the country. “One problem we continue to face in the U.S.,” says center director Ilene Schwartz, Ph.D., “is that children with disabilities are more likely to be educated in segregated settings and excluded from extracurricular and school-based activities.” That’s despite studies showing the immense benefits of inclusive classrooms; they lead to higher graduation rates and a greater likelihood of employment and more independent living for students with disabilities. After Haring Center staff found that Gareth was behind in development, the Sunderlands enrolled him in the Infant and Toddler Program at the center’s Experimental Education Unit (EEU). To ensure an inclusive environment, EEU teachers provide personalized help to students who need it. For children with autism, much of that care stems from one of the center’s largest research efforts, Project DATA (Developmentally Appropriate Treatment for Autism). Gareth spent half of his day with typically developing peers and the other half receiving intensive individualized instruction. If he struggled, teachers would map out a new strategy for the next day. The Project DATA model has been adopted by teachers in more than 25 states. The importance of early diagnosis When Gareth was about 2 years old, Haring Center staff recommended that he visit the UW’s Center on Human Development and Disability (CHDD), where he was
10 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and underwent genomic sequencing to find a potential genetic cause of his autism. Testing revealed that Gareth’s delays were likely caused by a new mutation of the ZNF292 gene. Since then, Bill — who received his doctorate from the UW’s Department of Physiology and Biophysics in 1998 — has worked with researchers at the UW and Seattle Children’s Hospital to understand the function of the gene. The Sunderlands attended workshops for parents of children with autism at the UW Autism Center, a unit of the CHDD that conducts cross-disciplinary research and trains UW students and community professionals to provide services. “We can identify the signs and symptoms in almost every case of autism before children are 24 months old,” says Annette Estes, Ph.D., the center’s director, “but the average age in the U.S. for diagnosing autism is 4 to 5 years old.” Those few years can make a huge difference. “Evidence-based early intervention has been shown to move the needle tremendously,” says Estes. Helping more families access autism care Gareth, who now attends his local public school, continues to make progress — thanks in large part to ongoing therapy with UW graduate students. The Sunderlands understand how fortunate they’ve been to be able to access and afford Gareth’s care. During visits to the CHDD, Bill was struck by the distance many families had traveled to get there. But, says Estes, “The people I’m most worried about are those we don’t see at all.” A more inclusive future The Sunderlands are supporting two major efforts to ensure that all families with children on the spectrum can access life-changing care. At the UW, they’re supporting Access to On-Time Intervention, a partnership between the Haring Center and the UW Autism Center to help children from lowincome and underserved families receive autism intervention and support. The Sunderlands have also joined UW Foundation Board member Mike Halperin, M.D., in supporting the recently announced Autism Spectrum 360 Initiative, a collaboration between Seattle Children’s and local organizations to expand autism resources for families across Washington state. Says Bill, “There are a lot of kids who could benefit from the services Gareth received, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be easily accessible.” Because every child deserves as many good days as possible. n Learn more about the University of Washington’s research at uw.edu. Sponsored by The UW is one of the world’s preeminent public universities. As the University for Washington, we turn ideas into impact and transform lives — on campus, across our state and around the globe. uw.edu
Dream big. Plan ahead. With Washington College Savings Plans, you can start planning, save for college, and invest for a brighter future. GET Enrollment opens November 1
Dental health education made interactive and fun!
Learn more at wastate529.wa.gov GET and DreamAhead are qualified tuition programs sponsored and distributed by the State of Washington. The Committee on Advanced Tuition Payment and College Savings administers and the Washington Student Achievement Council supports the plans. DreamAhead investment returns are not guaranteed and you could lose money by investing in the plan. If in-state tuition decreases in the future, GET tuition units may lose value.
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AN INCLUSIVE EDUCATION FOR ALL CHILDREN
The Tooth Fairy is on a mission to promote healthy smiles! Join us as Delta Dental of Washington presents The Tooth Fairy Experience including free, interactive presentations, story time, fun smile facts and educational activities. OCTOBER 7 PlayDate Seattle, South Lake Union Join the Tooth Fairy for kid-friendly smile facts, interactive fun and get a free toothbrush! 5 p.m. FREE OCTOBER 22 Timberlake Library, Tumwater Join us for story time with the Delta Dental Tooth Fairy, learn fun smile facts and get a free toothbrush! 10:30 a.m. FREE OCTOBER 31 Spokane Public Library, Shadle Branch Meet the Delta Dental Tooth Fairy for story time, learn how to care for your teeth and get a free toothbrush! 10:30 a.m. FREE
See our calendar for an event near you TheToothFairyExperience.com JOIN US.
uw.edu/boundless/autism-care
Email us at Hello@TheToothFairyExperience.com to schedule your own visit. parentmap.com • October 2019 • 11
it starts with you(th) Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center Presents ‘We the Future: Young Leaders of Social Change’ Exhibition By Patty Lindley
T
his month, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center debuts “We the Future,” an interactive exhibition that spotlights the inspiring stories and accomplishments of 10 young leaders, icons who are working to catalyze a new era of human and environmental rights through their respective social change movements. The exhibit pedestals and builds on the work of Amplifier’s We the Future education campaign and was co-curated with the Discovery Center’s Youth Ambassador Program, a cohort of local high school students that develops youth-centered programs and organizes the center’s annual Teen Action Fair each March. Amplifier (amplifier.org) is a Seattle-based nonpartisan design lab that creates high-profile, nationwide media experiments to amplify grassroots social justice issues. The young leaders featured in the “We the Future” exhibit align with movements that encourage people to vote, address climate change, reconceive the immigration system, create more equity and opportunity in our education system, address gun violence and take other actions. We caught up with Cleo Barnett, deputy director of Amplifier, to learn more about the campaign and upcoming exhibit.
‘WE THE FUTURE: YOUNG LEADERS OF SOCIAL CHANGE’ Oct. 3, 2019–March 21, 2020 Join the free community celebration: Oct. 5, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center For more information and to RSVP, visit discovergates.org. The exhibition features the powerful stories of Xiuhtezcatl Martinez, Amanda Gorman, Leah the Activist, Ismael Nazario, Winter BreeAnne, Lydia X.Z. Brown, Lindsay Amer, Amanda Nguyen, Isra Chaker and Paul S. John — posted alongside iconic graphic portraits of each of these 10 young leaders by artists Shepard Fairey, Rommy Torrico, Munk One and Kate DeCiccio. The “We the Future” exhibition invites people of all ages and walks of life to imagine and become the change they want to see in the world through inspiring multimedia content, hands-on art-making opportunities, community dialogue and other programming. Free lesson plans and materials related to the 10 icons and their social justice movements are available to educators who register at education.amplifier.org.
12 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
How did Amplifier get its start? Amplifier started in a back yard in Seattle; it was founded by Aaron Huey, a National Geographic photographer, and was [initially funded by] a media experiment grant through Stanford University. [This was] during a time when Aaron was exploring how he could take the messages that were created for inside National Geographic magazine and bring them out into the streets. The organization builds large-scale, nationwide media campaigns that amplify social movements and help shift the national narrative. How did this particular campaign, “We the Future,” come about? We’re a nonprofit organization, so we really do consider ourselves to be a public service. After our “We the People” campaign, we had all of these educators reaching out, asking for teaching tools and artwork to talk about social justice issues in their classrooms. We answered that call: We reached out to our community over the course of a year; we went into classrooms, we talked to movement leaders and youth leaders, and we asked them, “Who argues at the forefront of change in this country?” From that process, we developed a list of hundreds of names, and then had the very tough task of curating that down to an intersectional group of people who represent different communities, different ages, different geographic regions of the United States, different issue areas, in the hope that every student would feel themselves represented by at least one of the featured icons. How were the educational materials that accompany the artwork developed? For this campaign in particular, the young leaders collaborated with their organizations to lead the development of the lesson plans, and then we worked with a consultant, Maribel Gonzalez, who supported the young leaders and also ensured that all of the lesson plans would be appropriate for middle school and high school classrooms. How were the artists selected? [Like the selection process for the young leaders], it was a curatorial process to see what would be an interesting group of artists, each of whom would add something different. Shepard Fairey’s iconic style of art is very well known, and he’s just been so supportive of our organization from day one. Kate DeCiccio is also an educator; she has a really incredible way of working with her subjects. She photographs everyone she creates an artwork of, and the person gets to choose the photographs that she uses as the reference. Munk One is based in California and has a child of his own — he just brought a really interesting eye to this whole thing. And Rommy Torrico is an incredible artist, is undocumented and just shares a lot of the same identity stuff as the young leaders. Talk a bit about the partnership with the Gates Foundation Discovery Center. One thing that we’re always wrestling with at Amplifier is how we can most constructively and authentically contribute to the local Seattle art scene while being a two-person team building national campaigns. And it’s the same with the Discovery Center, where they’re always looking at how they can most effectively add to the conversation here in Seattle and be a hub and a meeting place for people to have really important conversations in the community. They have this
beautiful space in downtown Seattle that a lot of people don’t know about, and though Amplifier’s work has a lot of visibility, we don’t have the capacity to have a full-time open space where people can convene. So, this is just such a powerful opportunity for us to both be able to share this artwork with the local community and visitors to Seattle. One thing that has just been really amazing is working with their Youth Ambassadors. We’ve been building a relationship with them over the last two years — they’ve come to our space for screen-printing workshops, and we share about our work and learn about their work. This opportunity to collaborate with their cohort of young leaders through the creation of this exhibition has been really empowering and exciting. What has been most inspiring to you about the youth leaders you’ve met? What you see is that they are ordinary people who have a drive and desire that’s based on a value. Whether it’s the value of desiring truth or desiring fairness, that drive has led them to become this extraordinary person. And, really, that’s something that every single one of us has the power within us to do. That’s what’s been most inspiring for me and what I hope audience members get out of this exhibition: All of us have the capacity to impact our community, impact our families, impact the world around us. It is just about taking action — and there are so many ways to do that.
WE THE FUTURE Young Leaders of Social Change
OcT. 3, 2019 – Mar. 21, 2020
always free
#WeTheFutureNow discovergates.org
Next to Seattle Center | 440 5th Ave North
What actions would you hope result from the campaign? I hope that educators register for the program and have the courage to implement some of the lesson plans in the classroom. [Educators can register at education.amplifier.org.] In terms of youths, I hope that they feel empowered to help make a difference in shifting policies and culture in this country. And I really hope that we can provide people with tools to show them that, actually, we are stronger together and we can make a difference. We just have to show up and take action. For parents, I hope that you bring your children down to the exhibition and engage in dialogue there and also pick up some new tools for how to have these tough conversations around important issue areas that really impact all of us. Any final reflections? A year on from launching this campaign, I’m only now just really starting to understand the importance and value of identifying with people who don’t look like you. We are all in this together. And just because someone doesn’t look like you doesn’t mean that you can’t relate to them. n Patty Lindley is interim managing editor at ParentMap. Sponsored by:
WE THE FUTURE
At the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, we believe all lives have equal value. We are impatient optimists working to reduce inequity. Explore interactive exhibits and find ways you can take action at the Gates Foundation Discovery Center, discovergates.org
Young Leaders of Social Change OcT. 3, 2019 – Mar. 21, 2020
COMMUNITY CELEBRATION Sat, Oct. 5
10 am – 6 pm FREE PERFORMANCES
Activities
Art
Next to Seattle Center | 440 5 Ave North th
#WeTheFutureNow
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parentmap.com • October 2019 • 13
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Hey, Mama, Is Your Period Having a Midlife Crisis? Why menstruation can be worse during midlife, and what you can do about it By Malia Jacobson
D
ebilitating periods were a monthly ritual for Gemma*, a 53-year-old mother of two from Sammamish. For most of her adult life, her period brought on Pe d i a t r i c S p e e c h cramps, heavy bleeding and migraine headaches so severe that she couldn’t 5_careworks_1-16.indd 1 6/1/15 10:14 PM get out of bed; it caused her to miss work regularly. & L a n g u a g e T h e ra py Gemma welcomed the break from her “monthly monster” during both of her Communication Assessment and Intervention pregnancies, and hoped her symptoms would mellow over time. Instead, her periods Birth through Adolescence became heavier and more painful. By her late 30s, the experience was unbearable, she says. • Articulation/ • Down Syndrome Like Gemma, many busy women hope they’ll leave painful periods behind in Motor-Speech • Language Delay midlife, only to find that their cycles become heavier, more painful and more erratic. • Autism Spectrum • Social Skills These changes can occur long before people notice other physiological changes Disorders • Fluency/Stuttering typically associated with the onset of menopause, such as hot flashes or night sweats. “In the late 30s and into the 40s, there are hormone fluctuations that cause Learning here IS fun and games changes with periods. Typically, we’ll see periods becoming longer, heavier and more intense,” says Katie Van Kessel, M.D., an OB-GYN with Overlake Obstetricians & Appointments available in Seattle/Wallingford, Bellevue, and West Seattle 206-547-2500 • carolray@aol.com • www.pediatricspeechtherapy.org 206-547-2500 • info@pediatricspeechtherapy.org • www.pediatricspeechtherapy.org Gynecologists in Bellevue. Beginning in a woman’s mid-30s, the menstrual cycle can lengthen by anywhere from a week to as long as 90 days or more. Some women experience shorter cycles with more days of bleeding per cycle, says Van Kessel. “Some patients say they feel like 7_carol_ray_speech_1-8h.indd 1 8/31/17 4:26 PM they barely get a break from bleeding between cycles.” Midlife period changes often include heavier bleeding; one study found that menstruating women at age 50 lost as much as 50 percent more blood than those between the ages of 30 and 45. Midlife hormonal fluctuations can also intensify conditions such as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), premenstrual syndrome (PMS), bloating and migraine headaches, says Van Kessel. The fact that these changes occur when women are in their 30s, 40s and 50s — when parenting, work and family responsibilities pile up — makes them particularly unwelcome. That’s when many women, like Gemma, decide to seek help. “Around age 38, I finally went to my doctor and asked what I could do,” says Gemma. “The pain was so bad, but now I had two kids to take care of. I couldn’t just be immobilized each month with a toddler and a preschooler running around.”
What’s normal?
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“People know what’s normal for them, but it can be hard to know what’s considered ‘heavier than normal’ or ‘too painful,’” says Van Kessel. In general, changing a pad or tampon every 30 minutes to an hour for more than 24 hours means bleeding is heavier than normal. Pain that’s not relieved by nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory pain relievers, such as ibuprofen, or is intense enough to result in missed work or school should also warrant a visit to your health-care provider, she notes. “Anything that’s outside of your ‘normal,’ or that makes you feel like your period is changing for the worse, is a reason to come in,” she says. A physician visit may include an ultrasound, along with a blood test to check iron levels, since anemia (low stored iron) is more common in women with heavy menstrual periods. Your doctor may also check for certain cancers; according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, heavy bleeding can be a symptom of endometrial cancer.
Pain relief Depending on a patient’s age and health history, hormonal birth control can be a safe and effective treatment for painful periods, says Van Kessel. (Patients with high blood pressure or diabetes may not be candidates for hormonal treatments, however.) Hormonal birth control, such as birth control pills or the Mirena IUD, often result in periods that are lighter and less painful. Antidepressants may be used to treat PMDD, although these medications won’t reduce physical period symptoms such as bleeding or cramping. There are surgical options for people who don’t plan to have more biological children or who don’t want to take hormonal birth control. Endometrial ablation, an outpatient surgery that destroys the uterine lining, can stop or reduce periods. If fibroids are the source of pain, uterine artery embolization (UAE) can block the blood vessels to the uterus to prevent the fibroids from growing. Patients who use hormonal birth control or endometrial ablation to treat painful periods may stop having periods altogether, says Van Kessel. “Once people realize that it’s really okay not to have a period every month, there’s this sense of relief. People get their lives back. I hear ‘Oh my goodness, this is great!’ all the time.” When Gemma finally pursued treatment for her painful periods, she was interested in nonsurgical options; she’d already had two rounds of laparoscopic surgery to treat endometriosis. She opted for an IUD and was happy to find that her heavy periods, debilitating pain and migraine headaches nearly vanished. She didn’t experience any downsides, she says. The IUD lasts five years; she can forget about it until it’s time for a new one. Her only regret? Suffering so long before getting help, she says. “I’d [choose an IUD] again in a heartbeat. I just wish I’d done it sooner.” ■ *Not her real name. Malia Jacobson is an award-winning journalist and mom of three.
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parentmap.com • October 2019 • 15
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ParentEd Talk
Connected Kids: Overcoming the Screen-Time Battle NOV. 6, 7 p.m. parentmap.com/ events
Know the Real Dangers of Kids’ Screen Use Three worries you can actually do something about By Emily Cherkin
W
hen it comes to our kids and the internet, we are probably worrying about the wrong things. Sure, the headlines about online predators, violent images and porn pop-ups can be terrifying, but in focusing on these evils, we may actually miss the bigger picture: The real danger is the impact of too much screen-time consumption on the healthy cognitive, social and emotional development of our children. As a mother, educator and consultant, I hear about these challenges frequently from other parents, and I’m often asked: “Well, how much is ‘too much’ screen time?” I find this a difficult question to answer, because children respond differently to the same things; and the quality, frequency and length of screen time logged all can have an impact on the viewer. Even experts dodge this question about kids older than 6 because there are so many variables that go into understanding the impact of “too much.” Although a 2016 American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report recommends no more than one hour of “high-quality programming” for children ages 2–5 (during which parents should “co-view”), they offer no time limit for children older than the age of 6,
instead suggesting parents implement consistent limits. The AAP also says nothing about screen use in school or for schoolwork, a growing concern for many families that struggle to set limits on screen use at home. In April 2019, the World Health Organization issued new screen-time recommendations, suggesting zero time for children younger than 2 and one hour for kids ages 2–4, along with additional recommendations of increased exercise and sleep. So, how do we know there are cognitive, social and emotional impacts on our children as a result of screen-time consumption if even the experts waffle about how to define what is “too much”? Though there is no existing body of longitudinal research that conclusively correlates the negative repercussions of excessive screen time, I hear consistently from parents, teachers, occupational and physical therapists, counselors, early childhood educators and doctors that significant shifts in screen media consumption over the past 10 years have negatively impacted our children. Yes, there is conflicting research about the effects of screen time; yes, content and quality matter; and yes, you can find articles that suggest violent video games have no correlation to behavioral problems. However, I firmly
believe that this public health issue, second to climate change, is the greatest challenge to the well-being of our children, and, like climate change, if we wait to see what the research concludes, it will be too late to do much about it. If you feel, as many parents do, that you want to form new family habits around screen-time usage that will positively impact your children’s long-term health, consider these three suggestions.
1. Monitor time spent on screens. It is easy to feel befuddled by the “how much is too much” question. In general, however, we know that kids are spending a lot more time in front of screens than ever before. Research from Common Sense Media’s 2017 census report on media use by children found that 98 percent of kids ages newborn to 8 years have access to internet-based devices at home. On average, kids are spending more than two hours per day in front of screens. (Also, it is worth noting that these are screen-time hours logged outside of school time. Screens in schools present a different challenge entirely.) How children use screens has also changed.
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parentmap.com • October 2019 • 17
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Real Dangers of Kids’ Screen Use continued from page 17 According to Common Sense Media, in 2017, 35 percent of screen time was spent on mobile devices versus 4 percent in 2011. As many parents know, child screen usage often happens on the move (e.g., in the car, waiting in line, running errands). The idea of not watching a show in the car or while sidelined at your older sibling’s soccer game has become a foreign concept for most American children. There is a clear disconnect here between what the AAP says is best for children and what children are actually doing. If most 7-year-olds in America are spending 730 hours per year viewing a screen, when the recommended amount is “only” 365 hours per year (at most), that’s a lot of extra time spent not doing other activities that support healthy development. Douglas Gentile, Ph.D., of Iowa State University’s Media Research Lab uses the term “displacement” to describe this disconnect. When our kids spend 15 or more hours per week in front of a screen, what other skills are not being developed? What interests are not being nurtured?
•
Action item for parents: Parents, we can practice what we preach. It’s pretty humbling when our kids call us out on our own screen (over)use, but they are often right. Sure, being an adult means you have certain rights (not to mention responsibilities), but our kids cannot tell the difference between responding to a Slack message for work, texting a friend’s parent about carpooling and scrolling through Instagram. One easy action that parents can take is to “live your life out loud.” This means narrating (out loud!) what you are doing: “I’m texting Dad to see what time soccer is over”; “I’m looking up a recipe for dinner”; “I needed a break, so I am playing Candy Crush.” This models for our children how we personally use technology, and it also helps kids see that life requires coordination, planning and organizing — great executive function skills we all need!
2. Counteract the loss of real-life connections. Imagine what would happen if your kids’ screen-time use were reduced by even one hour per day. How would they spend that additional time? We know that the rising obesity rate in children is a growing health crisis. Is excessive screen-time entertainment displacing your child’s outside play or sports? How would your child be impacted in school if they spent 365 additional hours per year reading? Not all screen time is bad. We can all 18 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
appreciate the amazing ways technology can connect us to others, support our work and entertain us when we seek stimulation. We do not yet have research on the long-term impacts of 700 hours of screen time per year per 5-year-old. But we do have decades of excellent research about what 5-year-olds or 8-year-olds (or even tweens and teens) need to develop strong neural pathways and build healthy relationships. And we know that most of that development happens through real-life interactions and experiences. Today, we have more “face time” than ever before with our children, but parental engagement is at an all-time low. Tech writer and consultant Linda Stone describes this notion of “continuous partial attention,” an adaptive behavior during which our attention is continually divided between tasks. Even if children don’t know the phrase for this phenomenon, they know what it looks and feels like: buried in our device as we push our child on the swing, or distracted by our social media feed as our child tries to get our attention. “Continuous partial attention” is the attempt to appear present and to be physically present, but to be emotionally disengaged and distracted at the same time. I often quote my husband, who once observed: “Texting is like giving someone who isn’t even in the room permission to interrupt you.” Research conducted by Dr. Jenny Radesky at the University of Michigan shows that the more distracted we are by our devices, the harder our kids will try to get our attention. And, of course, the more demanding they get, the more frustrated we feel about being interrupted. No one wins.
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Action items for parents: Parents feel overwhelmed by the mental demands of modern life. But the reality is, we must prioritize real connection with our kids. This is not about guilting ourselves into better behavior. Guilt, like fear, isn’t a great motivator for creating lasting changes. We can find ways to be intentional about where and when we use tech around our kids. We can set boundaries for our home life and work life that protect one sphere from the other. We can share with our kids the challenges of “disconnecting to connect” — after all, they learn about healthy choices by watching us.
3. Prioritize sleep. If we want to make only one change, but net the greatest positive impact, then I suggest
prioritizing sleep for the whole family. Raising children is exhausting, and a sleep-deprived parent is not a patient parent. The good news is that, as kids get older, they start to sleep better (or at least they sleep more). However, for those smartphone-wielding tweens and teens, as screen-time usage climbs, the first thing that gets displaced is sleep. When it comes to sleep, here are some key facts for parents to consider: A recent JAMA study found that only 1 in 20 American children gets the recommended amount of sleep. The AAP endorses a recommendation by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine that gradeschoolers need from 9 to 12 hours of sleep per night. The Center for Cyber Safety and Education conducted a children’s internet usage study of kids in fourth–eighth grades and found that 49 percent are online after 11 p.m. on school nights. There is a wealth of research that supports the argument that sleep is critical for healthy brain development, especially for growing children. Dr. Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, has said that in terms of the physical impact on our bodies, not getting enough sleep is the equivalent of ingesting poison. Of course, it is easy to wonder why sleep has dropped off, and we can return to Gentile’s “displacement” concept to explain at least part of it. Teens in particular, when faced with the choice to sleep or spend more time on social media or texting with friends, do not have the fully formed executive function skills in place to make the healthier decision to prioritize sleep over socializing.
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Action items for parents: Charge all devices outside of bedrooms. Use real alarm clocks, not phone-based ones. Set and stick to bedtimes for kids of all ages — the earlier you can form this habit, the easier it will be to enforce in the teen years. In this day and age, it is easy to feel helpless and hopeless. But being paralyzed by our fears does not motivate us to change our behaviors. There are concrete things you can do as a parent to protect your child’s cognitive, social and emotional well-being, and it is not too late to start. ■ Emily Cherkin, who consults as The Screentime Consultant (thescreentimeconsultant.com), has worked with families and schools in the Pacific Northwest for 15 years to help them understand the technological challenges facing today’s children.
beyond tolerance
Special Protections
How to safeguard children with special needs from bullying By Malia Jacobson
W
hen young Cody* of Tacoma joined the peer inclusion preschool at his neighborhood public school, he fit in from the start. His class was a mix of neurotypical “peer mentors” and children with disabilities, including students like Cody, with apraxia of speech, a motor speech disorder that makes communication complicated. The school’s curriculum encouraged understanding and advocating for students with disabilities, says Cody’s mom, and he felt accepted and included. Because the peer inclusion program wasn’t offered after preschool, Cody enrolled in another local school for kindergarten. That’s when the bullying started; Cody began experiencing harassment and physical bullying nearly every day, mostly from students in his own class. When he reacted, he was punished by missing recess or simply sitting in “time-out,” recalls his mother, an active member of the Tacoma Special Needs PTA (tsnpta.org). “We were getting four, five, six disciplinary notices every week, and I knew something was really wrong, because that wasn’t an issue at his other school.”
Bullying and disability Bullying at school — defined in Washington state as disrupting or interfering with a student’s educational environment through intimidating, threatening or physically harming a student or a student’s belongings — is a very common experience for students with disabilities. While around 10 percent of neurotypical kids experience bullying, the number jumps fivefold for students with disabilities. Kids with certain conditions that affect speech or communication may not be able to tell teachers or caregivers what they’re experiencing, making bullying harder to identify and correct, says David Camenisch, M.D., MPH, a psychiatrist with Seattle Children’s Autism Center. “A child with special needs who is bullied may internalize their distress, becoming disruptive at school or at home, developing feeding or toileting problems, or [experiencing] physical complaints, such as stomachaches or headaches.” And bullying doesn’t just harm the child being bullied. Bullying negatively impacts students who observe it — the so-called bystanders — along with teachers and adults connected to the school. “Bullying is insidious because it erodes feelings of confidence and safety, not only for those directly involved in bullying, but for bystanders, teachers and parents,” says Camenisch. School districts are starting to take notice. “In recent years, there’s been greater
awareness and more education around what bullying is as it relates to students with disabilities, and the fact that students with disabilities have protections under the law,” says Jen Cole, M.A., director of Parent Training and Information with Tacoma’s Partnerships for Action, Voices for Empowerment (PAVE; wapave.org), which provides support and resources for individuals, youths and families impacted by disabilities. All states have anti-bullying laws to protect kids (Washington’s are listed on the StopBullying.gov website). Students with an identified disability have additional layers of civil rights protection through the federally guaranteed right to a free, appropriate public education (sometimes referred to as FAPE). Awareness of the impacts of bullying on multicultural and English-learning children with disabilities is also increasing, Cole says, thanks to the advocacy efforts led by caregivers and organizations like Open Doors for Multicultural Families (multiculturalfamilies.org). “Students with disabilities experience a lot of intersectionality with identity,” says Cole. “That means that when a student with a disability is also transitional bilingual, English-learning, a student of color or experiencing homelessness, they’re more vulnerable to bullying and also have less access to resources to help.”
How adults — and kids — can help When it comes to bullying, caregivers for students with disabilities can’t afford to be unprepared, says Cole. “I encourage families to be proactive, because it’s so hard when it happens and we are unprepared,” she says. One of the best ways to prepare: Make your child’s individualized education
Beyond Tolerance In 2019, ParentMap is dedicating consistent thoughtful coverage to cultivating tolerance. We will rally partners and experts to help us deliver practical and powerful tools, perspectives and tips to parents and educators for teaching empathy, equity, acceptance, respect and inclusion to our children. Read more at parentmap.com/beyond-tolerance.
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 19
beyond tolerance
How to safeguard children from bullying continued from page 19 plan (IEP) or 504 plan part of your anti-bullying toolkit. “Make this [harassment, intimidation and bullying] part of your student’s IEP meeting so that things like social-emotional growth and self-determination [the student’s ability to voice their own needs and wants] become something you’re talking about regularly with the school,” Cole advises. While anti-bullying education is now common in schools, some programs are more effective than others. Peer advocacy — teaching students to stand up for others — can be one of the most effective forms of antibullying education, says Camenisch. “Bullies are more responsive to peers pointing out that their behavior is wrong than they are to adults.” Outside of school, caregivers can help encourage the growth of proactive social skills that help protect kids from bullying, says Camenisch. “Proactive social skills include the ability to identify and respond to bullying, situational awareness and very fundamentally knowing ‘what is a friend.’” Role-playing through potential playground interactions and reading books like
“Don’t Pick on Me” by Susan Eikov Green are two more ways parents can help promote proactive social skills, says Camenisch. A combination of peer advocacy and parent-to-parent education shifted the climate in Cody’s kindergarten classroom. His mother used social media and the classroom contact list to educate other parents about Cody’s condition and to ask for their support. As the class learned more about disability and bullying, Cody’s primary tormenter ended up becoming a strong peer advocate. “It was an exhausting few months, but it made me aware of the resources that are available for things like this,” she says. Most importantly, Cody now feels accepted and included at his school, she says. “He absolutely loves his friends. He just wants to feel like everyone else.” ■
“Bullies are more
responsive to peers pointing out that their behavior is wrong than they are to adults.”
*Not his real name Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health and family journalist.
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When to Seek Help for Cutting and Other Signs of Self-Harm Nonsuicidal self-injury is on the rise in adolescent girls, but effective treatments exist By Malia Jacobson
A
troubling mental health trend is affecting an increasing number of adolescent girls, some barely out of elementary school. But parents and teachers might not notice, because the condition and its symptoms are very often kept under wraps. Research shows that rates of nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI) are on the rise for girls from early adolescence though the college years. But selfharm, sometimes called simply “cutting,” is still such a taboo subject that it may go unmentioned, even in health-care settings. By definition, nonsuicidal self-injury is not a suicide attempt, but there is a strong link between intentional self-harm and the risk of suicide. Because nonsuicidal selfinjury is a risk factor for suicide, it’s important that parents, teachers and coaches know what to look for and how to get help. When the condition is recognized and treated, complete recovery is possible, says Mehri Moore, M.D., chief medical officer and founder of THIRA Health, a mental health treatment center for women and girls in Bellevue. Here’s what you need to know about nonsuicidal self-injury.
What is nonsuicidal self-injury and who is affected? Nonsuicidal self-injury is defined as intentional self-harm without suicidal intent, generally in the form of behaviors such as the cutting, burning or scratching of tissue, or banging of the head. People may use self-harm to alleviate intense emotional distress, says clinical psychologist Kathryn Korslund, Ph.D., clinical director at THIRA Health. “Self-harm is a response to the experience of intolerable emotion. It’s a way to bring down the intensity of that emotional suffering. The tissue damage releases endorphins, so the pain becomes soothing.” Intentional self-harm affects girls more often than boys, and typically begins at the onset of puberty, around age 11, says Moore. Transgender youths experience high levels of self-injury at younger ages. Although boys experience intentional selfinjury, it’s less common and less likely to involve cutting or scratching. According to researchers, with boys, self-harm more often involves slamming themselves against a wall or other aggressive actions.
What’s behind the trend? Nonsuicidal self-injury is being reported and diagnosed more often, but examining the trend is complicated. Because nonsuicidal self-injury is associated with anxiety and depression, the increase in these conditions may correlate to the rising rates of self-harm. Yet another reason for an increase in reported rates may be that, until recently, the topic was taboo, and even mental health professionals avoided it, says Moore. “Pediatricians and physicians are reluctant to bring this up or make it an important issue, because they’re reluctant to talk about it. Parents don’t see self-harm because kids hide it, or if they see it, they don’t want to bring it up.” Decreasing stigma and shame about mental health problems makes it easier for people to speak up, and there’s now more research to inform health-care professionals about these behaviors, says Korslund. “Pediatricians and mental health providers have shied away from asking about self-harm because they didn’t know what to do if the answer was yes,” says Korslund.
What should parents, educators and caregivers look for? Children with the inability to tolerate frustration or manage anger are going to be at greater risk of these behaviors, says Moore. “This can be a child who throws tantrums constantly beyond the age of 4 or so, when most children outgrow
frequent tantrums, or a child who is hard to soothe. If you see signs that your child has difficulty with internal self-soothing, you can consult with a child therapist or speak with your child’s pediatrician.” Don’t expect to see obvious signs of cutting or burning, because youths engaged in self-harm often hide the injuries from others. “Parents, coaches and caregivers can really pay attention and look for changes in a child,” says Korslund. “If a child who is normally happy to be in their shorts or tank top suddenly wants to stay covered this year, that’s something to pay attention to.” Because self-injury is often hidden, literally, under layers of clothing, it’s important for pediatricians to routinely ask about these behaviors during checkups, says Korslund. During a well-child visit, this might be as simple as asking, “How do you manage stress?” Then a practitioner can follow up with a more direct “Do you ever hurt yourself?” query, if needed. “We find that a nonjudgmental stance combined with direct questions allows the child to feel safe enough to answer ‘yes,’” says Korslund. “If we don’t ask these questions, we can inadvertently give the message that this is something we don’t want to talk about. We tell parents, ‘Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.’”
How is nonsuicidal self-injury treated? A form of structured talk therapy called dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, shows impressive results for youths experiencing suicidal and nonsuicidal self-injury. “We’ve found DBT to be the best therapy for helping both parents and kids manage behavior in the moment, and for teaching ways to promote calmness and problem-solving. It combines acceptance of the moment and working toward change,” says Moore. Through a combination of individual and group therapy, participants in DBT learn specific skills to cope with the emotional distress that drives the self-harm. The therapy is most effective for youths when their parents participate in some therapy sessions. This allows parents to learn and apply the same skills and language as their child. “DBT focuses on teaching new, more adaptive skills to help people regulate emotions and tolerate distress without acting on urges, all the while working on solving the problems that have the person so miserable in their life that [self-harm] is their coping strategy,” says Korslund. In a small percentage of treatment-resistant cases, antidepressants and antipsychotic medications may be used to treat nonsuicidal self-injury. And though the vast majority of youths who engage in self-harm will recover, a few will continue the behavior into adulthood. “While we always want to take NSSI seriously because it is a risk factor for suicide, it is treatable,” says Korslund. “Once the need to regulate emotions through self-harm goes away, the behavior is no longer needed. Through DBT, we teach four modules of skills that give specific strategies for coping. This means there is lots of hope for teens who self-injure.” ■ Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist in Tacoma. Sponsored by
The mission of THIRA Health is to support women and girls living with mood disorders by using comprehensive approaches that address the whole self, along with an emphasis on community support. This is made possible by a team of trained, certified experts skilled in using dialectical behavioral therapy, art and movement therapies, nutrition and more.
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 21
october
SUNDAY
MONDAY
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PICKS
Dental health education made interactive and fun!
‘Screenagers: Next Chapter,’ film screening Oct. 7
CITY OF BELLEVUE/FLICKR CC
TheToothFairyExperience.com
DENNIS WISE, COURTESY BURKE MUSEUM
Kelsey Creek Farm Fair, Oct. 5 Burke Museum Grand Opening weekend, Oct. 12–14
Cedar River Salmon Journey, October weekends
ParentMap Every Child Summit, Oct. 23
22 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
TUESDAY Bob’s Corn & Pumpkin Farm. Kiddie maze, more challenging maze and pumpkin patch. Daily through Oct. 31, 10 a.m.–dark. Free entry; activities and pumpkins for purchase. Snohomish. bobscorn.com Salmon SEEson. Hike a short trail to view salmon spawning in Bear Creek; then head to KIS Farm to learn about urban farming. Daily through late October. FREE. R.O.S.E. trail behind KIS Farm, Redmond. govlink.org/watersheds/8
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Salmon Days. Honor our region’s flagship fish with a parade, food, arts and a super-cool Field of Fun filled with kids’ activities. Saturday–Sunday, October 5–6. FREE. Issaquah. issaquahchamber.com/salmondays BrickCon 2019. Gather with other Lego fans to marvel at creations from around the world, plus assemble your own in the building zone. Saturday–Sunday, October 5–6, $11–$17; ages 4 and under free. Seattle Center Exhibition Hall. brickcon.org
Screenagers: Next Chapter. Join ParentMap for the Seattle premiere of the second film in this groundbreaking documentary series that explores strategies for screen-obsessed teens to find balance in a digital world. Q&A with film director to follow screening. 7–9 p.m. $15–$18. Recommended for parents and their kids, ages 10 and up. Eckstein Middle School, Seattle. parentmap.com/screenagers
Carleton Farms. Visit the pumpkin patch to pick your pumpkin and try out the corn maze; additional activities on weekends. Daily through Oct. 31, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Check website for pricing; pumpkins for purchase. Lake Stevens. carletonfarm.com Detective Cookie’s Chess Club. Drop in to learn and practice chess skills; new members always welcome. Tuesdays, 3–6 p.m. FREE. Ages 7 and up. Seattle Public Library, Rainier Beach Branch. spl.org
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Carnation Farms Harvest Festival. Take a hay ride, pick a pumpkin, go gaga in the petting zoo and more. Saturdays–Sundays, Oct. 5–27, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE; pumpkins and food for purchase. Carnation. carnationfarms.org Spookley the Square Pumpkin. Help teach your kiddos self-love and the importance of inclusivity with this book-turned-musical performance. Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 12–20. $12–$15. Tacoma Musical Playhouse. tmp.org
Craven Farm Corn Maze & Fall Festival. Try the big maze, kids’ maze, new apple cannon and other fall fun. Daily through Oct. 31, 9:30 a.m.–dusk. $8; ages 2 and under free. Snohomish. cravenfarm.com Magic Monday. Marvel at local magicians’ sleight of hand and other illusions. 7–8 p.m. FREE. Third Place Books – Ravenna, Seattle. thirdplacebooks.com
Trout Fishing Derby. Last month to catch a tagged trout for prizes at one of many derby lakes. Daily through Oct. 31. FREE with valid fishing license; no license needed for ages 14 and under. Find lakes online. fishhunt.dfw.wa.gov/home/fishingderby Family Game Night. Enjoy a variety of board games for all ages with your friends and fam! Tuesdays, 6–8:30 p.m. FREE. Pierce County Library, Bonney Lake Branch. piercecountylibrary.org
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Lattin’s Applefest. Celebrate our state’s finest fruit with farm activities and fresh apples and pears to take home. Saturday– Sunday, through Oct. 27. FREE entry; items for purchase. Olympia. lattinscider.com Cedar River Salmon Journey. Witness spawning salmon work their way upstream in four locations. Saturday–Sunday, October 5–27, 11 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE. Renton Library, Cedar River Park, Cavanaugh Pond and Landsburg Park and Dam. seattleaquarium. org/salmon-journey
Carpinito Brothers Pumpkin Patch & Corn Maze. Select the perfect pumpkin then head across the street for farm fun with goats, a hay maze, a corn bin and more. Daily through Oct. 31, 9 a.m.–6 p.m. Free entry; pumpkins and activities for purchase. Kent. carpinito.com Issaquah Salmon Hatchery. Spy salmon returning to spawn in Issaquah Creek from the bridge or viewing windows at the hatchery. Daily through mid-November. Issaquah Salmon Hatchery. issaquahfish.org
Shoreline Indoor Playground. Banish rainy-day blues by playing in the gym. Monday–Friday, 10 a.m.–noon. $2–$2.50. Ages 1–5 with caregiver. Shoreline Spartan Recreation Center. shorelinewa.gov All Ages Open Jump. Go wild with your preschoolers or homeschoolers. Tuesdays, 12:30–2 p.m. $9; $7 per sibling; adults and crawlers free; preregister. Pump It Up, Kirkland. pumpitupparty.com
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Pumpkin Chomp & Stomp. Cheer on animals attacking their special pumpkin treats! Included with admission. Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 26–27. 9:30 a.m.–3 p.m. Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, Eatonville. nwtrek.org Harvest Fest. Hot cocoa garden, apple-palooza, chili cook-off, costume parade (11:30 a.m.), trick-or-treating (noon), kids’ pumpkin-pie-eating contest and more. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. West Seattle Junction Association. wsjunction.org
Toddler Halloween Fest. Tot-focused celebration features costume contest, spooky cookie making, pumpkin painting and more. 10 a.m.–noon. FREE. Ages 1–5 with adult. Rainier Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Play to Learn. Kids and caregivers gather for play and circle time. Mondays, 1:30 p.m.; additional weekly times and locations. FREE. Ages 6 and under with caregiver. South Hill Pierce County Library. playtacoma.org
Kitty Literature. Call ahead for your child to practice reading with shelter cats; 20-minute sessions. Monday–Friday, various times. FREE. Ages 5–10. Seattle Humane, Bellevue. seattlehumane.org Harvest Party. Celebrate fall with arts, crafts, games and a costume show! 3–4 p.m. FREE. Pierce County Library, Eatonville Branch. piercecountylibrary.org
A Seattle Children’s Publication | Fall 2019
The Problems with Perfection As parents, it’s tempting to push our kids to do better, and it may even feel like it’s our job to do so. We might push them to have neater coloring skills, to be early readers, to earn the ‘first chair’ in band, to make a select sports team, to earn top grades — and the list goes on. However, when kids feel too much pressure to achieve — when they feel they must be perfect rather than simply try their best — this is perfectionism. It’s setting the bar too high for our achievements and behaviors, then thinking and feeling negatively when we can’t meet those expectations. It’s no wonder that perfectionism, which is a symptom of anxiety, can lead to serious health risks including depression and eating disorders.
Perfectionism shows up in various ways. Expecting ourselves to be perfect can cause tension, worry and other problems. Expecting others to be perfect makes it hard to have healthy relationships; others don’t enjoy being
42nd Annual Festival of Trees Sunday, Nov. 24, 1 to 4 p.m. Fairmont Olympic Hotel 411 University Street, Seattle
Kick off the holiday season at this downtown display of designer Christmas trees. Each tree is dedicated to a Seattle Children’s Hospital patient. Guests enjoy live music, a holiday boutique and pictures with Santa.
to learn more:
For more information and to view and bid on the trees, please visit seattlefestivaloftrees.com.
with us if we’re always unhappy with how they do things and we’re always demanding more from them. Finally, if we believe that others expect us to be perfect, we worry that our friends and family will approve of us only if we do what they want us to do, and act the way they want us to act. So, how can parents help kids avoid the traps of perfectionism? We can praise their efforts rather than the results. We can help them set realistic expectations. We can encourage them to try new things — and to focus on the fun of the experience rather than on their skill level. We can be sure they have plenty of free play time, which may mean limiting after-school activities and other structured events like lessons, clubs and sports teams. To be clear, wanting to be good at things is great! However, getting things done is better than getting things perfect. Overthinking and putting things off can become stubborn habits that paralyze us and make us miserable. Instead, we can accept our imperfections. We can even share our ‘best mistakes of the day’ at the family dinner table, find the humor in our missteps, and celebrate what we’ve learned. After all, aren’t we lucky to be imperfect human beings with loving hearts, rather than perfect, boring robots? to learn more:
Visit seattlechildrens.org/clinics/psychiatryand-behavioral-medicine/patient-familyresources to learn more.
Giving the Gift of Safety Will your child be getting a new bicycle this holiday season? If so, consider purchasing a bike helmet that meets U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) or Snell standards. Will you be heading somewhere warm for the holidays or for an upcoming school break? If you’ll be in or on the water, purchase a new U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jacket for your child. It’s best to buy new safety gear, rather than purchasing used or receiving
hand-me-down gear. That way you know the history of the gear, and that it’s in good condition. Other health-and-safety-related gift ideas include shin guards, wrist guards, knee and elbow pads, ski goggles and water bottles. to learn more:
Visit seattlechildrens.org/health-safety/keepingkids-healthy/prevention/safe-play-gear-sports.
No More Playing Through Pain The days of parents telling their children with sports injuries to “push through it” are over. Doctors and athletic trainers now warn parents and coaches that the consequences of allowing children to play through sports injuries are not worth the risk. Playing through an injury can worsen the existing injury, cause damage to another area of their body, or even end their sports careers completely. A small injury that could have healed quickly can worsen and take longer to heal. Children may try to hide their pain by compensating for their injury through limping, using their other hand for throwing a ball, or altering their
natural techniques. Compensation may help prevent further damage to the injured area, but puts other areas at risk of injury. Pushing children to continue playing a sport when injured can also cause emotional stress. The emotional and physical burdens from playing through an injury can contribute to burnout. Play it safe — have your child sit out when injured and see their doctor for care. to learn more:
Visit seattlechildrens.org/health-safety/keeping-kidshealthy/prevention/sports-injuries-children-teens.
Growing Up Triggers Changes in Checkups Starting when kids are tweens, during their medical checkups it’s usual for parents to be asked to leave the room for part of the visit. This is done so the doctor (or the primary health care provider) and the child can speak in private. Parents may feel surprised or puzzled the first time this happens. But in fact, starting somewhere around age 11, a key part of your child’s overall good health is being able to have one-on-one conversations with their doctor. Since adolescence is a period of such big change both physically and emotionally, a doctor’s job is to monitor their young patients’ overall physical and emotional health. This is why doctors are trained to weave in certain questions during the checkup relating to home, school and education, activities and social life,
drug use or experimentation, sexuality, and safety. Where they detect any concerns, they can then provide education on those topics. (They will also explain doctor-patient confidentiality and its limits. See the resource at the end to learn about teen privacy rights.) Most kids are more apt to answer their doctor
honestly and ask their own questions when a parent is not present. Parents can encourage kids to take ownership of their own health and wellbeing, and to speak openly with their doctor. Suggest jotting down any questions they’d like to ask before their visit to be sure they cover the topic. Reassure them that doctors hear all sorts of questions, and they won’t be shocked or surprised by anything. Regular checkups remain crucial as kids get older. Your child should have one medical checkup and two dental checkups each year through the tween, teen and young-adult years. to learn more:
seattlechildrens.org/globalassets/documents/ for-patients-and-families/pfe/pe1649.pdf.
Kid Bits
2019-2020 Flu Vaccine
Shopping Cart Safety
Measles
A flu vaccine is the best way to prevent getting sick with the flu (influenza). One change for the 2019–2020 flu season is that the nasal spray flu vaccine is back as an option for healthy people ages 2 through 49. You may recall that in the past few years, the nasal spray delivery method was not recommended due to concerns about how well it worked. But the formula has been updated, and the latest data shows the new nasal spray to be effective. The flu can be very serious, and people die from the disease each year. So, whether you opt for the nasal spray vaccine or a traditional flu shot, be sure you and your family are protected. Talk with your child’s doctor if you have any questions.
Each year, thousands of children — most ages 0 to 4 — get hurt from riding in shopping carts. To prevent falls and other injuries, avoid having a child ride in the cart. Instead, carry infants close to your chest in a front carrier if possible; never put an infant carrier on top of the cart. For toddlers, carts with attached child seats low to the ground (as pictured) are safer than riding in the cart’s seat. If you must use the cart’s seat, be sure your child is buckled in snugly with each leg hanging through its own leg opening. Then, ensure they remain seated and buckled at all times. Bigger kids are safest walking close beside you.
to learn more:
to learn more:
Measles is highly contagious. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control reports that “It is so contagious that if one person has it, up to 90% of the people around him or her will also become infected if they are not protected.” Recent outbreaks of this serious disease show this to be true. The good news is that measles is preventable thanks to the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine. If you suspect your child or another family member has the measles, call your health care provider before seeking care, so you don’t spread the disease. Measles symptoms typically include high fever, cough, runny nose and watery eyes, with a measles rash appearing 3 to 5 days after the first symptoms.
Visit seattlechildrens.org/health-safety/
Visit healthychildren.org/English/safety-
keeping-kids-healthy/prevention/about-
prevention/on-the-go/Pages/Shopping-
to learn more:
the-flu.
Cart-Dangers.aspx.
Visit cdc.gov/measles.
Quick Tip A consistent bedtime routine helps toddlers form good sleep habits. Wind down with a book, bath or calm music at the same time each night.
facebook.com/seattlechildrens instagram.com/seattlechildrens
twitter.com/seattlechildren youtube.com/seattlechildrens
Regional Clinic Locations
Online Resources
• Bellevue • Everett • Federal Way
Visit seattlechildrens.org for the following: • Child Health Advice • my Good Growing email newsletter • Doctor Finder • On The Pulse and Autism blogs • Medical condition information • Health & safety information • Ways to help Seattle Children’s • Research Institute information
• Olympia • Tri-Cities • Wenatchee
Primary Care Clinic • Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic
Main Hospital Numbers 206-987-2000 866-987-2000 (Toll-free)
Heather Cooper is the Editor of Good Growing, which is produced four times a year by the Marketing Communications Department of Seattle Children’s. You can find Good Growing in the January, April, July and October issues of ParentMap and on our website seattlechildrens.org. For permission to reprint articles for noncommercial purposes or to receive Good Growing in an alternate format, call 206-987-5323. The inclusion of any resource or website does not imply endorsement. Your child’s needs are unique. Before you act or rely upon information, please talk with your child’s healthcare provider. © 2019 Seattle Children’s, Seattle, Washington.
Classes and Events These classes are popular and often fill up several months in advance, so please register early. Scholarships are available. If you would like to ask about a scholarship, call the number provided for the class you’re interested in. PARENTING CLASSES Autism 101 This free 90-minute lecture is designed to provide information and support to parents and families of children recently diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder. A portion of each session is dedicated to answering questions from the attendees. Lectures are at Seattle Children’s hospital campus in Seattle, once per quarter, on a Thursday, from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Lectures are also available via live webcast. View dates or get instructions for the webcast at seattlechildrens.org/autism101. Call 206-9878080 if you have questions.
Autism 200 Series Autism 200 is a series of free 90-minute classes for parents and caregivers of children with autism who wish to better understand autism spectrum disorder. Each class features a different topic. Classes are usually offered on the third Thursday of the month, 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Seattle Children’s hospital campus in Seattle. These classes are also available through live streaming using Facebook Live on Seattle Children’s Facebook page. View dates and topics or view past Autism 200 lectures at seattlechildrens.org/autism200. Call 206-987-8080 if you have questions.
Babysafe Babysafe is a 4-hour class for new and expectant parents and others who care for babies. Topics include infant development, baby safety, injury prevention and care of common injuries for infants from birth through 12 months of age. Infant CPR is demonstrated and practiced, but this is not a certification class. This class is offered in Seattle. The fee is $75 and each registration is good for 2 people from the same family. View dates and locations at seattlechildrens.org/classes or call 206-789-2306 if you have questions.
Heartsaver First Aid, CPR and AED This video-based class for parents and caregivers covers how to treat bleeding, sprains, broken bones, shock and other first-aid emergencies. Also includes infant, child and adult CPR and AED use. Students receive an American Heart Association Heartsaver First Aid, CPR, AED course completion card that is valid for 2 years. This class is offered at Seattle Children’s hospital campus in Seattle for $75 per person. View dates at seattlechildrens.org/classes or call 206-987-2304 if you have questions.
Youth Mental Health First Aid
Sibshops
This 8-hour class is for adults who regularly interact with adolescents ages 12 to 18. Youth Mental Health First Aid will improve your knowledge of mental health and substance use problems and will teach you how to connect youth with care when needed.
Sibshops are lively peer support groups for siblings of kids with special needs. Separate sessions are held for kids 6 to 9 years old and kids 10 to 13 years old.
This class is offered at the Sand Point Learning Center in Seattle for $20 per person, which includes class materials and lunch. View dates at seattlechildrens.org/classes or call 206987-9878 if you have questions.
CHILD, PRETEEN AND TEEN CLASSES Better Babysitters For youth, ages 11 to 14. Students learn about responsible babysitting, basic child development, infant and child care, safety, handling emergencies, age-appropriate toys, business tips and parent expectations. This class is offered in Seattle, Bellevue, Everett and Federal Way. The cost is $50 per person. View dates and locations at seattlechildrens.org/ classes or call 206-987-9878 if you have questions.
CPR and First Aid for Babysitters For youth, ages 11 to 15. Topics include pediatric CPR, treatment for choking, and first-aid skills. Students receive an American Heart Association Heartsaver Pediatric First Aid, CPR, AED completion card, which is valid for 2 years. This class is offered at Seattle Children’s hospital campus in Seattle for $75 per person. View dates at seattlechildrens.org/classes or call 206-9872304 if you have questions.
For Boys: The Joys and Challenges of Growing Up This class is for boys, 10 to 12 years old, and a parent or trusted adult.
For Girls: A Heart-to-Heart Talk on Growing Up This class is for girls, 10 to 12 years old, and a parent or trusted adult. An informal, engaging format is used to present and discuss issues most on the minds of preteens as they begin adolescence: body changes, sex, and other growing-up stuff. This class is offered in Seattle, Bellevue, Everett and Federal Way in partnership with Great Conversations. The cost is $90 per parent/child pair; $70 per extra child. A copy of the book “Will Puberty Last My Whole Life?” is included. View dates and locations at seattlechildrens.org/ classes or call 206-789-2306 if you have questions. Content outlines and short videos are available at greatconversations.com.
Sessions take place at Seattle Children’s hospital campus in Seattle at a cost of $25 per session. View dates online at seattlechildrens.org/classes or call 206-987-4133.
EVENTS Staying Close While Standing Back WHEN: Tuesday, Oct. 15, 7 to 9 p.m. FEE: $35 WHERE: Seattle Children’s hospital campus, 4800 Sand Point Way NE, Seattle REGISTER: greatconversations.org For parents of preteens and teens looking for new ideas on everyday conversations with their children. Join Julie Metzger, the creator and founder of the Great Conversations programs focused on puberty, sexuality, and decisionmaking for families of preteens.
Free Car Seat Check WHEN: Saturday, Oct. 19, 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. WHERE: Seattle Children’s hospital campus, 4800 Sand Point Way NE, Seattle CALL: 206-987-5999 Come learn how to safely secure your child in the car. Child passenger safety experts will check your child in a car seat, booster seat or the seat belt and answer any questions you may have. First come, first served. We do not take reservations.
WEDNESDAY 2 Let’s Play: The Bremen Town Musicians. Bring little ones for an interactive play designed for short attention spans. Oct. 2–6, 10 a.m. $5; under 2 free with paying adult (cash or check only). Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Olympia Family Theater. olyft.org Storybook Corner. Cozy up for story time and nurture a love of reading with your tots. Wednesdays, 10:30–11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–5 with adult. Island Books, Mercer Island. mercerislandbooks.com
THURSDAY 3 Nordic Stories. “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” is featured today along with a craft project. First Thursdays, 10–11 a.m. FREE. Ages 2–5 with adult. Nordic Museum, Seattle. nordicmuseum.org Free First Thursday. Pick a participating local museum to visit FREE, including Seattle Art Museum, the Nordic Museum, the Museum of Flight (evening), the Wing Luke Museum and MOHAI. freemuseumday.org/sea.html
FRIDAY
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Fall Harvest Festival. Enjoy food, games, crafts and more at this family-friendly community event. 5–7 p.m. FREE. Van Asselt Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Candlelight Tour at Fort Nisqually. If your fam can’t imagine a day without devices or electricity, take a fascinating walk through life in a bygone era. Friday–Saturday, Oct. 4–5, 7–9 p.m. $10.50–$15.50; ages 3 and under free; preregister. Fort Nisqually Living History Museum, Tacoma. fortnisqually.org
Kelsey Creek Farm Fair. Annual fall farm fun with barnyard animals, crafts, hay rides, pumpkins and more. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE; fee for some activities. Kelsey Creek Farm, Bellevue. farmerjayne.com Monster Bash. Wear your costume for tricks, treats and an up-close experience with trucks and tanks; donate an additional $5 for a monster jeep ride! 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Included with admission. Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum, Everett. flyingheritage.org
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National Coming Out Day Celebration. This family-friendly event celebrates and supports LGBTQ+ individuals and allies; free resources, performances and more. 5–7 p.m. FREE; donations welcome. Hiawatha Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Reading With Rover. Trained therapy dogs listen patiently to kids as they practice reading aloud. 6:30–7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 5–10 with adult. Sammamish Library. readingwithrover.org
Family Nature Class. Guided nature exploration. Select Fridays and Saturdays, 9:30–11:30 a.m. $19 per adult/child pair; preregister. Ages 2–5 with adult. Washington Park Arboretum, Seattle. botanicgardens.uw.edu Hoot ‘n’ Howl. Take an evening tram tour to see what the park’s animals are up to at night; kids invited to wear costumes for trickor-treating. Friday–Saturday, Oct. 11–12 and 18–19, 5–9 p.m. $12–$16; ages 2 and under free. Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, Eatonville. nwtrek.org
New Burke Museum Grand Opening Weekend. Discover this entirely new kind of museum, with working labs, new galleries and much more! Celebration features family-friendly activities, multicultural live performances, food trucks and more! Saturday–Monday, Oct. 12–14; timed ticketing. Burke Museum, Seattle. burkemuseum.org Harvest Fest. An early excuse to show off your costume. 5:30–7:30 p.m. FREE. Center at Norpoint, Tacoma. metroparkstacoma.org
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Weed and Feed Wednesdays. Head to the farm to pull weeds and feed a gourmet meal to pigs or goats. Wednesdays, 2 p.m. through Oct. 23. FREE; preregister. Ages 3 and up with adult. KIS Farm, Redmond. kisfarm.com Paint a Pumpkin. Create a gourd-geous masterpiece with your family! FREE. All ages; under 8 with adult. Pierce County Library, DuPont Branch. piercecountylibrary.org
Outdoor Families Nature Club. Connect with other families while exploring the great outdoors, led by a nature enthusiast. Story time, snack time, hiking games and more! Thursdays, 9:30–11 a.m. $5 per family. Fort Ward Park upper parking lot, Bainbridge Island. peacockfamilycenter.org Toddler Time. Open-early play gym lets the little ones burn off energy with bikes, slides and toys. Monday–Friday, 8 a.m.– noon. $2. Ages 3 and under with caregiver. Issaquah Community Center. issaquahwa.gov
Hamlin Halloween Haunt. Don your costume and come for spooky stories around the campfire, plus a hayride and games. 6–8:30 p.m. FREE. Hamlin Park, Shoreline. shorelinewa.gov Nile Nightmares Haunted House. If you are one for horror thrills, brave this screamfest of a haunted house! Friday–Sunday through Nov. 2, plus Oct. 31; less-scary kids’ day Oct. 26 for the whole fam. $22–$28. Brave 13-year-olds and up. Mountlake Terrace. nilenightmares.com
Issaquah Goes Apples. Make old-fashioned cider with an apple press, build a scarecrow, enjoy the farm-fresh pop-up market and more! 9 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. Historic Shell Station, Issaquah. downtownissaquah.com Minecraft: The Exhibition Opening Weekend. World premiere exhibit celebrates the 10th anniversary of this hugely popular game with interactive and life-size elements. Saturday–Sunday, Oct. 19–20. Pricing TBA. Museum of Pop Culture, Seattle. mopop.org
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Every Child Summit. Join ParentMap as we dive into resources to support families with neuro-diverse learners. Resource fair, 5–6:55 p.m. Talk by Jonathan Mooney, 7 p.m., both FREE; preregister. Mercer Island. parentmap.com/everychild Little STEAMERS: Changes in the Fall. Explore a different STEAM theme each week. Wednesdays through Nov. 20, 11:15 a.m.–12:15 p.m. $10–$13; preregister. Ages 4–7 with caregiver. Les Gove Gymnasium, Auburn. auburwa.gov
Critter Club. Kids’ program features stories, hands-on exploration and an animal surprise. Thursday–Friday, Oct. 10–11 and 24–25, 11 a.m.–noon. $14–$15; preregister. Ages 3–5 with caregiver(s). Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma. pdza.org Glow Party. Don your costume and grab your glow stick to enjoy music, activities, snacks and more. 6–8 p.m. FREE. Delridge Community Center, West Seattle. seattle.gov
Halloween Carnival and Haunted House. Enjoy some scary fun in your costume at this fun annual family event! 6–7:30 p.m. Free to attend; game tickets 5 for $1, haunted house $2. Jefferson Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Phantom Tollbooth. Opening night of this play that enchants all ages and brings light to the infinite powers of imagination. Oct. 25–Nov. 3. $15. Bellevue Youth Theatre. bellevuewa.gov
Si View Harvest Festival. Come in costume to enjoy trick-or-treating, carnival games, animal encounters, a G-rated haunted house and more! Noon–4 p.m. $15/ wristband includes unlimited game access and one pumpkin (while supplies last). Si View Metro Parks, North Bend. siviewpark.org Diwali: Lights of India. Celebrate the arts and culture of India with dance performances and instruction, puppetry, food, face painting and more. Noon–6 p.m. FREE. Seattle Center. vedicculturalcenter.org
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Creepy Crawl. Come in your costume for some spooky crafts, snacks and a toddler gym! 10 a.m.–1 p.m. FREE. Ages 5 and under with adult. Garfield Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Cuentos en Español. Speakers of all languages are welcome to enjoy interactive story-time fun in Spanish. Wednesdays, 11:30 a.m. FREE. King County Library, Des Moines Branch. kcls.org
Toddler Pumpkin Palooza. Join in for age-appropriate Halloween games, face painting, crafts and snacks. 10 a.m.–noon. $5. Ages 5 and under with adult. High Point Community Center, Seattle. seattle.gov Halloween Trick-or-Treating. Arrive in costume ready to trick-or-treat at participating stores, plus snap a pic in the photo booth and bounce on the trampoline. 4–7 p.m. FREE. Redmond Town Center. redmondtowncenter.com
9 Kaleidoscope Play & Learn. Meet other families and watch your littles pick up life skills through guided play. Wednesdays, 10–11:30 a.m. Ages 0–5 with caregiver(s). FREE. Skyway Library, Seattle. kcls.org Foster’s Produce and Corn Maze. Navigate the “Wizard of Oz”-themed corn maze and pick a pumpkin; extra activities on weekends. Daily through Oct. 31, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. $6 maze; ages 3 and under free; pumpkins for purchase. Arlington. fosterscornmaze.com
Follow the Tooth Fairy @DDWAToothFairy
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 27
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A C T I V I T I E S
Books That Teach Kids About Disabilities and Inclusivity In the United States alone, more than 61 million adults are currently living with disabilities, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Because of that, I find myself continuously searching for ways to raise an empathetic child who will show kindness and understanding to those different than himself. Books have given me a way to do that. By reading these children’s books aloud, parents can start talking about how people around the world move, listen and speak differently. “Stephen Hawking” by Sanchez Vegara and Maria Isabel, illustrated by Matt Hunt Like the other titles in the “Little People, Big Dreams” series, this story fits a big character into a small, kid-friendly picture book. We learn that young Stephen was given two years to live due to a rare genetic condition, but he survived for decades, becoming one of the most well-known scientists in the world. While this story doesn’t go into his discoveries in depth (it is, after all, a children’s book), it does discuss how Stephen was able to succeed even after his body failed him and his voice started to fade. Overall, this book provides a good reminder that even with weak bodies, people can still have exceptionally strong minds — a more inclusive take on the “Never judge a book by its cover” adage! “King for a Day” by Rukhsana Khan, illustrated by Christiane Kromer This book is not about a boy in a wheelchair, though the hero of this tale does happen to be in a wheelchair. It’s a wonderfully written story about a boy in Pakistan who flies his kite during Basant (a popular kite-flying festival). He uses his wits to outsmart a mean-spirited bully who is running around town picking on neighborhood kids. As you follow the main character through the story, you’ll be mesmerized by beautifully colored illustrations that seem to jump off the page. If you’re looking for a book that normalizes different types of mobility, this is it. By not discussing the fact that he’s in a wheelchair, the author turns his set of wheels into a fact of life rather than a symbol of “otherness.” “We’re All Wonders” by R.J. Palacio If you’ve seen the movie “Wonder,” featuring Auggie, a young boy with an exceptional face, this book will feel familiar. It’s written by the same author, but is geared toward younger audiences. While this version doesn’t discuss the deep implications of living with Auggie’s unusual face, it does do a wonderful job of teaching empathy to young children. Although Auggie is a wonder, other kids only see someone who is different. That doesn’t stop Auggie though — he realizes that he can’t change the way he looks, but maybe people can change the way they see him. This story lends itself to a great discussion with little ones about how we can view our fellow humans with kindness rather than judgment, regardless of how they look on the outside. “El Deafo” by Cece Bell Although written for readers ages 9 and older, the language in this 2015 Newberry Honor Book is suitable to be read aloud to younger children. This graphic novel follows Cece from the time she is 4 years old. During the story, she goes from being just an average kid to one being stricken with an illness that causes her to lose her hearing. The explanation of her learning how to use a hearing aid and reading lips is perfectly written for kids who might not be familiar with how those things work. The rest of the story goes on to explain Cece’s experiences in school, where she imagines herself as “El Deafo, Listener for All,” a welcome fantasy when the other kids tease her. Not only does this story explain the details of day-to-day life with hearing loss, it also gives parents a chance to discuss bullying and how important it is to treat others with kindness and understanding. By seeing more characters like these, fully able children will come to better understand the diverse ways people move through our world. Hopefully, with time, they will become better friends and advocates for those who are differently able. — Nikki Yeager
28 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
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JIAYING GRYGIEL
Fall’s a Ball A sampler of spooktacular seasonal family fun
By Richard Porter
F
or many families, the harvest season and Halloween are the best time of the year, when even the adults aren’t too old to eat candy, frolic in the leaves, sip cider, and enjoy carnivals, festivals and farm-fresh fun. We’ve rounded up a list of popular family-friendly Seattle-area Halloween-time events. Some are active (fun runs and corn mazes) and some are more low-key (story times and crafts). Whatever your speed, have fun out there and be safe!
Special seasonal events Like that tempting bowl of candy left unattended on the porch, here’s a variety of local goodies just waiting for your selection and enjoyment. u parentmap.com • October 2019 • 29
out + about JIAYING GRYGIEL
Fall’s a Ball continued from page 29 Aquarium Halloween Oct. 25–27 Seattle Aquarium • seattleaquarium.org Admission: by membership or $17.95–$32.95; kids 3 and younger free Have you ever witnessed an underwater pumpkin-carving session? Here’s your chance to watch aquarium divers give a gourd a face, join a pumpkin party on land with master carver Russ Leno, and enjoy other Halloween-themed activities and games, along with face painting and treats. Of course, included with the price of admission are the thrills of watching electric eels crackle and octopuses flex their ghastly tentacles. Now that’s creepy. Hamlin Halloween Haunt Oct. 18, 6–8:30 p.m. Hamlin Park, Shoreline • shorelinewa.gov Free event Bonfires will burn brightly at Shoreline’s Hamlin Park. Sit around the flames and toast marshmallows while enjoying hair-raising stories and songs. Kids can also ride in a hay wagon and play Halloween-themed games. There’s no registration for this event, so just show up — in costume, if you like — to savor more family-friendly fun than you can throw a bucket of ectoplasm at. Downtown Snohomish Trick or Treat Oct. 31, 3–5 p.m. Snohomish • snohomishwa.gov Free event Legend has it that there are several haunted places in historic downtown Snohomish; ghosts are said to lurk in the Oxford Saloon and the Cabbage Patch Restaurant. But the charming, walkable main street and adjacent businesses make for fun and spook-free trick-or-treating for boys and ghouls. Parents, if you happen to do some light window shopping along the way or stop in at the Snohomish Bakery at First & Union (snobake.com) for an afternoon espresso, that’s fine, too.
A R T S
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‘The Haunted Theatre’ The Merlino Art Center, Tacoma • tacomacityballet.com Tickets: $12–$15; see website for dates and times. Tacoma City Ballet hosts this family-friendly annual event, during which visitors are ushered into the inner realms and backstage of the theater to meet a host of ghastly ghouls. Then, guests are entertained with an hour-long Halloween ballet, complete with marionettes, monsters, mummies and other creepy characters. Go in costume and maybe you will win a prize! Halloween Spooktacular at American Girl Oct. 31, 4–7 p.m. Alderwood Mall, Lynnwood Free event for kids ages 3 and older No need to tramp through soggy neighborhood lawns to score candy. Stay indoors and enjoy the bright, clean environment at the Alderwood Mall, where the
A C T I V I T I E S Connected Kids: Overcoming the Screen-Time Battle
Join us to sing, dance and play along with your little ones, connect with other parents from your community and have lots of fun making Music Together. We can’t wait to meet you!
seashellmusictogether.com (425) 443-0254
Redmond
. Sammamish . Bothell
30 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
A talk by The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin
ParentEd TA L K S
NOV. 6
The Collective, Seattle
Get your tickets: ParentMap.com/screentime
American Girl store is offering treats to all girls who arrive in costume. Visitors can also make a Halloween “Boo Box craft” and visit a photo booth to snap a keepsake pic. Reserve your spot by visiting the American Girl Seattle store website (americangirl.com/retail/seattle.html) or by calling 877-247-5223.
BE CURIOUS. BLAZE A NEW TRAIL.
Pumpkin patches, corn mazes and carnival fun Don a sweater and pair of rubber boots to go muck about in a fall field to hunt for a perfect pumpkin. Here are your best bets for rural autumnal delights. Note: Check websites for hours of operation and prices before heading out! Snohomish Valley Festival of Pumpkins Snohomish • festivalofpumpkins.org When people think of Snohomish, they think of farm fields bursting with gourds. Here are some of the most beloved destinations for families. Craven Farm • cravenfarm.com The fam can enjoy dozens of activities at Craven, including hayrides, a 15-acre corn maze, pumpkin picking (more than 50 varieties grown!), firepit rentals and flashlight nights. The farm is also regionally famous for its sweet treats, including freshly popped kettle corn, apple cider pumpkin doughnuts and funnel cakes — oh, my! u
Let Mother Nature inspire you with wetlands, waterways, and engaging educational programs for all ages.
Book your visit today at pacsci.org/mercer-slough.
The Mercer Slough Environmental Education Center is a collaboration between the City of Bellevue and Pacific Science Center.
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 31
out + about
ur ty to yo e i r a v d ! Ad routine exercise
Fall’s a Ball continued from page 31 Bob’s Corn & Pumpkin Farm • bobscorn.com In addition to the typical U-pick pumpkin fun, families can enjoy tooling around a trike track, firing an apple cannon and renting one of 18 bonfire pits located inside Bob’s amaizeing corn maze. Families can bring their own roasting sticks and edible goodies, and then finish up the maze. Nice!
• Ample Free Parking • Restrooms & Water Fountains • Wide Paved Paths • 180-Degree Puget Sound Views • 11-Acres to Explore • Rentable Pavilion Get there by taking Yacht Club Road off of Ruston Way MetroParksTacoma.org
The Hub University of Washington Nov 8-9 Learn how to bring compassion and mindfulness into your family, organizations, and communities. The Summit provides practical tools for productive and mindful parenting. Our presenters are visionaries, teachers, cultural trailblazers, and creators who will share diverse applications of compassion and mindfulness.
For tickets and more information, visit: CompassionateLeadershipSummit.com
Use promo code ParentMap15 for 15% off at checkout. - Presented By Richer Life Foundation
32 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
Stocker Farms • stockerfarms.com You’ll find plenty of picturesque photo ops wandering through the U-pick sunflower fields at Stocker Farms. During the first two weekends of Stocker’s Fall Festival (Sept. 21–22, 28–29), visitors can hand-pick a bouquet of sunshine to display for days. Adults and kids 12 and older who like a bit more fright on their Halloween night should check out the darker side of “Stalker Farms,” a unique immersive haunt tour (stalkerfarms.com; opens Oct. 5). Of course, there are plenty of low- or no-scare options for younger and more shock-averse family members, including kid-friendly mazes, a giant pillow jump and a paintball shooting gallery. And pumpkins, a whole lot of pretty pumpkins. Eastside and South Sound pumpkin picks Remlinger Farms Carnation • remlingerfarms.com Remlinger buzzes with activity during its Fall Harvest Pumpkin Festival weekends in October. Take a wagon ride out to the U-pick pumpkin fields, shop in the farm market and explore the corn maze. Head to the Family Fun Park for entertainment and more than 25 rides, from a small (but thrilling) roller coaster to a tot-size Ferris wheel, along with pony rides, antique pedal-car rides and more. Fox Hollow Farm Issaquah • foxhollowfamilyfarm.com This well-groomed farm in Issaquah is a guaranteed hit, especially with younger kids. Its popular Fall Festival includes a pumpkin patch, ATVs and race track, corn bin, pony rides, hay maze, inflatables, a haunted forest trail and bonfires with s’mores! Carpinito Brothers Farm Kent • carpinito.com Here’s a quintessential autumn photo op: Picture a sweeping valley of pumpkins viewed against the backdrop of Mount Rainier. As if the vista weren’t grand enough, Carpinito Brothers Farm offers a corn maze, farm animals to pet and hayrides. And, yeah, of course — plenty of orange gourds for your picking pleasure. Selecting that perfect jack-o’-lantern-to-be is part of the excitement building up to Halloween. Thomasson Family Farm Enumclaw • thomassonfarm.com Another reader favorite in South King County, this working dairy farm runs a 216,000-square-foot corn maze during pumpkin season, plus old-fashioned farm attractions such as an apple-lobbing slingshot, tractor train rides, hayrides, duck races, a petting farm and more. [ParentMap staff contributed to this section; for a more extensive guide to regional pumpkin patches and corn mazes, see parentmap.com/pumpkins.]
UW | SE AT TLE
Seasonal museum events From spellbinding story times and creepy crafts to scavenger hunts and other special activities, familyfriendly local museums make Halloween a real treat. Halloween Storytelling Train Oct. 19–20, 26–27; trains depart 11 a.m., 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Northwest Railway Museum, Snoqualmie • trainmuseum.org Tickets: Adults $20, seniors $16, children $10 The Halloween Storytelling Train departs from the Snoqualmie Depot, bound for spooky sights. Ride the rails to North Bend and disembark to explore the wonder of locomotives in a railway history center. Kids will also enjoy child-friendly Halloween tales, press apples into juice and drink cider. Then, it’s all aboard to take a ride to a vista near Snoqualmie Falls before returning to the depot. Halloween With the Lights On Oct. 26, 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Imagine Children’s Museum, Everett • imaginecm.org Admission: by membership or $12 for adults and children, free for kids younger than 1 This annual event offers four hours of haunted family-friendly thrills, including STEM-based Spooky Experiments With Dr. Science, dancing ghosts in a cauldron of bubbles, a costume parade and a pumpkin scavenger hunt. Well worth the price of admission!
SEE MORE. THE ALL NEW BURKE M U SE U M OPENS OCTOBER 12
Family fun runs A Halloween run is always a good idea. What better way to burn off all that sugar? 2019 West Seattle Monster Dash Oct. 26, 5K starts at 9:30 a.m. Lincoln Park, West Seattle • westseattlemonsterdash.com Registration: $10–$45, depending on age of participant and registration date Families can participate in the 5K together, or kiddos can participate solo in the 100-meter Tots Monster Dash or the 250-meter Little Monster Dash. Racers and non-racers alike can also win prizes in the costume contest, participate in raffle drawings, and enjoy crafts and carnival fun in the new Family Fun Zone. One hundred percent of the proceeds from the event go to South Seattle College Cooperative Preschools. u parentmap.com • October 2019 • 33
Fall’s a Ball continued from page 33 Run Scared 5K & 10K Oct. 27, events start at 8 a.m. Seward Park, Seattle • runscared5k.com Get your chills and thrills, all while benefiting a worthy cause. Kids are invited to sign up for the free kids’ dash, while registration fees for the 5K and 10K runs benefit The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Racers enjoy free event photos, pumpkin bread, a candy corn sampling bar and a costume contest for people (and pets!). ■
• Get the Small Town feel in a State-of-the-Art office! • Jungle theme will have your kids say ‘Wow!’ • TV viewing at every appointment • Preferred Provider for Most Insurances • Fun & Friendly environment serving infants, kids and teens ~ Convenient Everett Location ~
Richard Porter is a writer who lives in Everett, Wash., with his wife and three daughters. He drinks a lot of coffee and likes to ride his bike.
Sensory-Friendly Halloween Ideas That the Whole Family Will Enjoy Not everyone likes to get spooked. Halloween can be a time to be wary of strobing lights, excessive gore and motionsensor-activated ghosts. If you have a child who is sensitive to stimulation, consider these alternative activities.
Hand out treats from home.
Raise Your Parenting
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Don’t miss our great lineup of fall events!
IQ
SCREENAGERS: The Next Chapter Seattle premiere film screening
Learn strategies and solutions to help your screen-obsessed teen survive and thrive in a digital world. October 7 | Eckstein Middle School, Seattle
Every Child Summit
Free resource fair + ParentEd Talk with Jonathan Mooney Get the resources you need to help your child thrive at this free event supporting families with neurodiverse learners. October 23 | Stroum Jewish Community Center, Mercer Island
Connected Kids: Overcoming the Screen-Time Battle
A ParentEd Talk with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin Learn positive parenting strategies for mentoring your YouTube-hooked, Fortnite-obsessed, Instagram-dazed child. November 6 | The Collective, Seattle
Learn more: parentmap.com/events
34 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
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One way to ensure a calm environment is to not stray from home. Celebrate the spirit of the holiday by putting on a charming movie such as “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.
Host a low-key, friends-only party.
Keep it chill with a friends-only party that you know your sensitive kid will enjoy. You control the menu, activities and soundtrack. Everybody loves those classic “dirt cups” that are made out of Oreos, pudding and gummy worms; making popcorn balls is always a fun hands-on activity; and who doesn’t love dancing to “Monster Mash”?
Check out community events near you.
Not everyone is into Halloween. Some churches and community centers offer alternative “harvest parties” that are open to all and celebrate fall-themed fun, costumes, food and games without the spookery. Civic organizations get in on this, too. A quick Google search for events happening in your area should give you plenty of options.
Trick-or-treat at local businesses.
There are plenty of pros to this plan: Well-lit, safe and friendly, bottomless buckets of candy at your disposal — check, check, check. You could also pull that classic parent hack of picking up some shopping essentials while you’re out. You didn’t think you’d get the full day off for the holiday, did you?
JIAYING GRYGIEL
Specialists for children with special needs!
out + about
Big Smiles Start Here
WORLD PREMIERE WO
Tickets at MoPOP.org
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH
FALL FAMILY FUN AT BLOEDEL RESERVE SUPER SQUASH SCAVENGER HUNT OCTOBER 1–31, 2019 Pumpkins and squash are hiding everywhere at Bloedel Reserve. Pick up a scavenger hunt worksheet at the Gatehouse and see how many you can spot.
SPOOKY CREATURES WALK SAT, OCT 26, 3:30 to 7:30 PM Meet spooky and nocturnal creatures who inhabit our woods with the handlers from West Sound Wildlife. Walks start every 10 minutes. Space is limited; register online.
GUIDED WALKS & TALKS See the fall leaves, learn about permaculture, discover how to ready your garden for winter, and much more all month long at Bloedel Reserve.
For tickets & more information about all of our fall events, visit bloedelreserve.org.
OPEN YEAR-ROUND, TUESDAY-SUNDAY. RAIN OR SHINE. parentmap.com • October 2019 • 35
SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS Join Us at an Open House! Middle School Dec. 4, Jan. 12
• Preschool • Swim Lessons • Before & After School Program
High School Nov. 17, Dec. 4
• Summer Camp • Fitness Classes
Coed, Grades 6 - 12 eastsidecatholic.org/visit
LEARN. GROW. BECOME.
Woodinville Montessori School
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BOTHELL & WOODINVILLE Authentic Montessori for Toddler-High School College prep, holistic, global & enriched
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3/7/14 10:45 AM
Learn.
Grow.
Become.
Woodinville Montessori School Accredited Member School
www.woodinvillemontessori.org
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A lifetime of confidence starts here At KinderCare, we’ll make sure your child has everything they need. Teachers who care. Classrooms where safety is priority number one. A nurturing place to try new things and explore the world. Whoever you are and wherever you’re from, you’re welcome in our circle.
Give us a call to schedule a tour. 833-90-LEARN kindercare.com
36 • October 2019 • parentmap.com 0819_kindercare_1-2h.indd 1
OPENING SOON: Frederickson KinderCare 17419 Canyon Parkway East Tacoma, WA 98446
7/15/19 12:31 PM
SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS NOW ENROLLING!
NOW ENROLLING
AGES 2 1/2 - 6
Daily Support Card
901 Lenora Street, Seattle
Learning Academy
Assumption-St. Bridget School PreK-8th grade OPEN HOUSE
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8/16/18 11:53 AM
OCT 23 NOV 14 JAN 30
PRESCHOOL Low Ratios & Small Classes Highly Qualified Teachers Integrated Technology
9:30am
Nutrition & Active Lifestyle Education
RSVP to admissions@asbschool.org
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asbschool.org
SEATTLE PREMIERE SCREENING!
OPEN TO EVERYONE
UNCOVERING SKILLS FOR STRESS RESILIENCE
October 7
Learn more at proclub.com or call (425) 861-6247 Bellevue, WA
Eckstein Middle School, Seattle
Get your tickets:
ParentMap.com/screenagers
SWIM LESSONS Teaching more kids to swim than anywhere in the Northwest. World Class Aquatic Center Expert Instructors Techniques for confidence, comfort and fun Lessons now available for non-prime time hours. All ages and abilities.
(425) 861-6274 or aquaticsinfo@proclub.com parentmap.com • October 2019 • 37
SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS My Child’s Teacher Thinks There’s a Problem. Now What? As a teacher, I’ve worked with countless parents whose children have special needs. Often, I’ve been the first professional to broach the subject, the person who helps parents navigate their fears, concerns and the logistical process. In the end, many parents find they have more questions than answers. What’s next? And, how do I do what’s best for my child? What follows are best practices, drawn from years of teaching and from interviews with parents and experts, that might alleviate some worry, generate questions for consideration and offer reassurance as you navigate the path ahead.
Arm yourself with information. One of the best things you can do is gather all the information you can. Understanding the manifestations and nuances of a diagnosis will make you a better advocate for your child. The internet is a plethora of information — some of it useful, some of it not. Choose your sources carefully and understand that not everything out there will apply to your situation. Do your research, ask questions and connect with experts to determine what your child’s diagnosis means. Establish clear lines of communication. I can’t emphasize enough how important regular and open communication is between parents and teachers. Being up front about your child’s diagnosis and needs will help their teachers develop effective learning strategies. Be receptive to the teacher’s observations and trust that they want what’s best for your child. At the same time, be proactive about what you’re noticing outside of school. Changes at home can affect your child’s classroom experience. Schedule regular check-ins with the teacher to monitor your child’s progress. Develop a plan of action. One of the best things a parent can do for a child in the wake of a diagnosis is to develop a strategy for success. A teacher is a great resource in this process. Rely on their expertise to develop attainable short- and long-term goals, as well as measurable benchmarks for assessment. Ask questions and share your own concerns and expectations. Bring all key players to the table. Therapists, psychologists and tutors use different skills to work with your child. Allow teachers to communicate with these experts to develop a multipronged learning plan. Margaret Kulkin, a Washington state educator and director of Northwest K–8 Learning Support (nwk8learningsupport.com), suggests vetting professionals by checking their references and credentials. Then, trust them to lead you forward. Ask, ‘Is this the best learning environment for my child?’ Many parents establish an educational game plan long before a child’s first day of school. However, a special-needs diagnosis could cause you to reevaluate that plan. Trust your gut. If you don’t believe your child is in the best environment, don’t hesitate to consider other options. Be flexible with expectations. With every child with special needs, outcomes can be uncertain. Parents and teachers should work in tandem to set realistic expectations for the child, but they should also understand that the child’s needs can change over time. The child may require more support, or less. Finding effective strategies can be an ever-evolving process. Build a community of support. Find resources to guide you: a learning specialist, a support group, doctors conducting research in your area. You might not feel the need for a traditional support group, but having something as simple as an online group of fellow parents can be a great source of empathy as well as practical support. — Samantha Facciolo
38 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
The Sammamish Montessori School In Redmond
Call 425-883-3271 for a tour. ͻ Child-centered, joyful atmosphere with strong academic focus ͻ džƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ͕ DŽŶƚĞƐƐŽƌŝͲĐĞƌƟĮĞĚ ƚĞĂĐŚĞƌƐ ͻ Preschool, kindergarten, and STEAM Enrichment ͻ Family owned and operated since 1977 ͻ ^ƵŵŵĞƌ͕ ďĞĨŽƌĞ Θ ĂŌĞƌ ƐĐŚŽŽů ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵƐ ͻ WƌĞƉ WƌŽŐƌĂŵ͕ ;ƐƚĂƌƟŶŐ ĂŐĞƐ Ϯ ПШЖͲϯͿ
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< Degrees & Certificates < Co-op Preschools < Parent-Child Center
SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS
OPEN HOUSE HOUSE 2019-2020
Register for an upcoming semester at DigiPen Academy!
Bellevue Children’s Academy
Pre - K
2nd - 5th
⊲ Video Game Development ⊲ Music and Sound Design ⊲ Theater and Debate
@ BCA 2
Willows Preparatory School 6th - 8th
@ WPS MS
Sat. Oct 26th 10:00am Tue. Oct 29th 6:30pm HS Night Sat. Nov 16th 10:00am Sat. Dec 7th 10:00am
LEARN MORE AT:
academy.digipen.edu
@ BCA 1
Sun. Oct 27th 2:00pm Sun. Nov 17th 2:00pm Wed. Dec 11th 10:00am
Sun. Oct 27th 2:00pm Sun. Nov 17th 2:00pm Wed. Dec 11th 9:00am
DigiPen Academy offers K-12 students general education classes in math, science, reading, writing, and history to fit your unique schedule. Additionally, students can explore a variety of exciting electives in: ⊲ Art and Animation ⊲ Robotics ⊲ Engineering
K / 1st
@ Satellite
Sat. Oct 26th 10:00am Sat. Nov 16th 10:00am Tue. Dec 10th 9:30am
R
9th - 10th
@ WPS HS
Sat. Oct 26th 2:00pm Sat. Nov 16th 2:00pm Sat. Dec 7th 2:00pm
BCA www.bcacademy.com| WPS www.willowsprep.com R
WEM
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The Whole Earth Montessori School Est. 1986 Accredited by the American Montessori Society
Options Program Eastside Catholic High School
Preschool - 8th Grade
Inclusive,
individualized,
WEM: An exceptional academic program... an authentic Montessori experience...
faith-based education
To learn more about our programs please contact us for a tour: info@wemschool.org
for students with intellectual or developmental disabilities
www.wemschool.org
Learn More!
eastsidecatholic.org/options parentmap.com • October 2019 • 39
SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS Faith Focused. Student Centered. Inspiring Excellence.
CHARTER SCHOOLS OFFER PARENTS A GREATER VARIETY OF FREE, INNOVATIVE PUBLIC SCHOOL OPTIONS.
VISIT HOPE Oct 22, Nov 19, Jan 14 Open house info at
hls.hopeseattle.org
Find the right fit for your child’s needs, interests, and learning style.
Keep up the hunt for the best schools!
LEARN MORE | wacharters.org | 206.424.2780
Explore dozens of local options at: ParentMap.com/education
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40 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
9/18/19 12:56 PM
ages + stages
7 Parenting Tips
for Managing the Meltdowns of Easily Distressed Children How to handle their stress (and yours) By Laura Kastner, Ph.D.
H
ighly sensitive children have an inborn temperament that renders them reactive to internal and external experiences. These children are called “anxious,” “difficult,” “easily distressed,” “explosive” and “highly emotional.” Parents often experience them as being rigid and inflexible. These children usually have a tough time with transitions, unfamiliar circumstances, new activities and even mild stressors. They can’t help it. So, what’s a parent to do? Imagine a scale — a “distress-o-meter” — which ranges from 1 to 10. What stresses the average child (situations such as feeling physically uncomfortable, being excluded or becoming frustrated with a task) and registers on the meter in the orange zone of 6 or 7 is experienced by your sensitive child as an 8, 9 or 10, which is the red zone. Your child becomes hysterical, irrational, screaming, resistive and absolutely out of control. Getting mad at a child who is in the red zone is like throwing grease on a fire. It’s better for you to remain in the cool green zone. Routine expectations for a child (such as bedtime, going to school, participating
in team sports) may seem to you like they should be mild stressors, but they can be experienced as major ones by anxious children. You might think that these things shouldn’t throw your child’s emotional throttle into the red zone, but that judgment won’t help the child learn how to calm themselves. Only lots of cognitive and emotional retraining will do so. And don’t be quick to think that this is just a therapist’s job, because if the child goes home to their most intimate, loving attachment figures (parents) and finds them angry, exasperated and judgmental, the child’s brain will be in too much of a chronic firestorm to intentionally access coping and calming techniques. In neurological terms, when your child is having a meltdown, they are experiencing an “amygdala hijack.” The emotional part of their brain is reacting to a stressor as if it were a predator, and this triggers a “fight, flight or freeze” reaction. Parents of these children need to develop skills in calming themselves so that they can help their children learn to calm themselves, as well. In an airplane parentmap.com • October 2019 • 41
NORTHWEST ASSOCIATION OF INDEPENDENT SCHOOLS
ages + stages
Managing Meltdowns continued from page 41
SHE has the power. To learn. To create. To explore.
Join Us for an Open House October 26, 2019 | 10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m. All-Girls, Grades 5-12 | forestridge.org
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Ready to have ‘the talk’?
Have your son read THIS first. Updated and expanded edition available
OCT. 1
With humor and an emphasis on responsibility, Spare Me ‘The Talk’! is a comprehensive crash course in sex and sexuality, written for guys by a guy.
ParentMap.com/ourbooks 42 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
emergency, the oxygen bag needs to first go to the parents so that they can then optimally help their child. Rational and intelligent parents can easily fall into the trap of doing all the wrong things with riled-up kids. Our tendency to provide reassurance during a red-zone moment is remarkable in how typical it is and how spectacularly it can fail to help accomplish the goals of calming the child and inspiring compliance. Whether the anxiety is triggered by a birthday party, soccer practice or homework, fear is in the mind of the beholder and is not something to be argued with during a meltdown. Parents need to be quiet and think very carefully about what they say and transmit emotionally to their sensitive children in these moments of meltdown; they should take a page from what clinical psychologists are taught to do in emergency situations: “Don’t just do something, stand there.” In other words, first “do no harm.” A parent’s exasperated tone or an edge in their voice can take a child from a state of anxious worry to screaming hysteria. Neuro-imaging research has documented what we’ve always known intuitively: that when one person’s brain spikes in anxiety and distress, the brain of anyone nearby activates in tandem. Kids know what their parents are feeling about them. Sensitive children can detect even mildly negative feelings, and their meltdowns can spiral downward if they sense their parents are thinking, “Oh, no, here she goes again,” “I don’t have time for this ridiculousness” or “Why can’t she be like other children?” Yes, it’s true. Anxious children do better with Zen Buddhists as parents. But those of us who aren’t bodhisattvas should still try to achieve as calm an emotional state as possible when responding to extremely anxious children. Here are more helpful guidelines for managing in the moment: Validate your child’s feelings. Remember that empathy doesn’t equate to agreement. During a meltdown, your child will have an elevated heart rate, seem irrational and inconsolable, and become “flooded” with stress hormones (which trigger headaches and stomachaches, for real!). The greatest challenge for the parent in the moment is to not become dismissive, because this results in the child ratcheting up the screaming to make it clear to Mom and Dad just how upset he or she is. Instead of saying, “You love school. You’re just having a tizzy this morning,” say, “You don’t want to go to school today. Your tummy hurts, and it feels like it’s the worst day of your life.” You can paraphrase a bit to link your child’s statements with “right now” and “you feel” so that you aren’t agreeing with their dire declarations. Stay patient and understanding about what your child is experiencing. Say to yourself: “My child is doing the best she can, given her emotional state. She can’t help that she has such a sensitive temperament. She came by this temperament as innocently as other kids do asthma or diabetes.” Compassion will result in a quicker resolution to your child’s outburst, even though it will always take longer than you wish. Listen and repeat. While you sit quietly and listen to your child, try just repeating what they are saying to you. Don’t argue. Tell them that you are listening carefully. Speak slowly and very quietly. Anxiety is like gravity — what goes up, must come down. In other words, your child’s panic will rise, but it will always abate. The parent’s goal needs to be “damage control,” meaning not making it worse by arguing, criticizing or even
NORTHWEST ASSOCIATION OF INDEPENDENT SCHOOLS
Ever think... my child can go deeper, even at this young age?
talking too much, because any stimulation at all can keep your child’s emotions flooding or ramping up to another peak. Often, less is more when it comes to a parent’s response to a child’s intense emotions. You’re not spoiling your child. Reassure yourself that this approach is not “spoiling” or “indulging” your child, but instead that it is treating the condition of high anxiety. Although it may feel to you that it takes too much time or that you are reinforcing bad behavior, recall that your other punitive approaches haven’t worked. Remember the old adage “The only person you can control is you.” Since you are probably upset that your child is upset, model your own “self-calming” by doing a breathing exercise. Breathe in slowly over five seconds and exhale slowly over the next five seconds. Use the second hand on your watch and get absorbed in taking deep belly breaths. As you become focused on your own self-calming skills, your child may decide to join in. The other advantages of an explicit focus on selfcontrol is that you’re serving as a role model and the focus directs you away from being coercive with your child. Consider distraction. If your child’s emotional distress is on the wane from the red zone (8–10) to the orange zone (6–7) on the distress-o-meter, distraction may help them calm down further. Perhaps you can share a childhood story about when you needed to use a technique like deep breathing or positive self-talk to calm yourself. Because shame can so easily be associated with meltdowns, your personal vignette might also convey the humble truth that everyone needs to work on selfcalming sometimes. All people benefit from this self-calming skill, also known as “emotional regulation.” It’s one of the cornerstones of emotional intelligence. I titled two of my books “Getting to Calm” (parentmap.com/parentmap-books) because parents need to work on self-calming skills in order to handle the hot-button issues of rearing Getting to children of all ages. Parents of children THE EARLY YEARS with sensitive and anxious temperaments find that they need to become super skilled in patience and self-calming early in child-rearing. Like so many aspects of Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D. parenting, our children model, internalize and learn emotional regulation from us. ■
Profound learning for the continuously curious PRESCHOOL — GRADE 8 • GREATER SEATTLE • EVERGREENSCHOOL.ORG
“Keen insight into the inner world of children.” —Marsha Linehan, Ph.D.
CALM
Cool-Headed Strategies for Raising Happy, Caring, and Independent Three- to Seven-Year-Olds
“Kastner masterfully guides parents through the complex maze of parenting.” —Yaffa Maritz, director, Community of Mindful Parenting
,cause parenting is a trip!
Laura Kastner, Ph.D., has authored a number of parenting books and is a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington. This article was originally published online at parentmap.com in June 2018.
A Coeducational Independent Day School in Tacoma Preschool - Grade 12 // Bus Service
VISIT DAYS: October 16 & December 4 admissions@charleswright.org // (253) 620-8373 parentmap.com • October 2019 • 43
NORTHWEST ASSOCIATION OF INDEPENDENT SCHOOLS
Inspiring creative confident students from Age 3 through Grade 8
Come to an Open House! Fri., October 25, 2019
Sat., November 2, 2019
Grades 1-8
Age 3-Grade 8
9:15 AM, Main Building
10 AM-12 PM, Classrooms
Learn about our program and get the answers to your questions! Unable to attend? Schedule a tour through our website. www.etonschool.org
2701 Bel-Red RD Bellevue, WA 98008
Small class sizes. Excellent academics. Being part of a community. Independence. Cultural diversity. Accelerated career outcomes. Lifelong friendships. Dedicated teachers. Robust sports programs. Specialized curriculum. Challenging coursework. Preparation for college and beyond. Ambitious peers. Performing arts centers and museums. Individualized attention. Time management skills. Amazing arts education. Fewer distractions. Self-reliance. Character development. Lasting relationships.
There are hundreds of reasons to consider boarding school for your child. Find yours at the
BOARDING SCHOOL EDUCATIONAL FAIR Monday, October 21 5:45-8:30 p.m. Hamlin Robinson School 1701 20th Ave S, Seattle, WA 98144 Free and open to the public! More than 60 schools attending!
Learn More About: Why boarding schools? Myths & misconceptions Residential life
Academics Admissions & financial aid And more!
hamlinrobinson.org/boardingschoolfair 44 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
LM19_seattle_country_day_1-8h.indd 1
Ace the School Year From what to make for lunch to how to tackle homework havoc, we’ve got answers.
ParentMap.com/education
8/25/19 10:49 A
learning media
Explore
Tech Resources That Support Kids With Learning and Attention Issues Find the right tool for that assistive-technology job By Gemma Alexander
S
urveying the results of recent studies, the jury still seems to be out on the question of whether technology in the classroom is helpful or harmful to children. That may be because the correct answer is more nuanced than a simple “yea” or “nay.” Using technology effectively in education may be more a matter of finding the right tool for the job. This is perhaps especially true when it comes to assisting kids with learning disabilities or attention disorders — comprising at least 11 percent of schoolchildren in Washington state — for whom the right app or program could make a world of difference. Here are several tech-based resources that could provide just the tool to help your kid achieve more success and mastery in school this year.
LEARNING APPS
Auditory Workout • virtualspeechcenter.com Developed by a certified speech and language pathologist, Auditory Workout is an app for children ages 4–10 who have auditory processing disorders, receptive language disorder or autism. The app focuses on improving auditory attention, memory and the processing of verbal directions. It includes hundreds of audio instructions and allows users to set background noise levels for added challenge. Brain Focus • brainfocus.io It doesn’t always work to just take distraction-prone kids’ phones away when it’s time to do homework, because so much coursework needs to be done online nowadays. Brain Focus blocks apps and quiets notifications so phone distractions are not a factor during class or other dedicated learning times, such as for reading and homework. Ghotit • ghotit.com There are a lot of spelling and text-editing apps out there, but Ghotit seems to be the
most powerful — and the one most specifically designed to aid kids with dyslexia and dysgraphia. The app corrects significantly misspelled words, confused words, homophones, grammar and punctuation, and offers advanced word prediction with grammar- and phonetics-awareness capabilities. Motion Math • motionmathgames.com Make a game out of K–6 math skills and number sense with Motion Math. Kids work at their own pace on games with adaptive content; adults track student usage and mastery. Popplet • popplet.com Equally valuable for kids who have trouble organizing ideas and for visual learners, Popplet is a mind-mapping tool that allows kids to insert words, images and their own drawings. Terms of service prohibit kids younger than 13 from creating accounts, but do allow adult-controlled accounts to be used by kids. Read&Write • texthelp.com Texthelp’s Read&Write app uses an alternative keyboard with integrated features to assist with writing through “speak as I type” technology and specially formulated dyslexia-focused word prediction features and dictionaries. Students can check for errors by touching a word, sentence or passage to hear it read out loud. SnapType • snaptypeapp.com SnapType provides kids with dysgraphia a way to keep up with their regular coursework. Students take a photo of homework worksheets and then type their answers into the digitized worksheets instead of writing them on the originals. The ability to draw lines facilitates the completion of matching problems, and students can zoom to the size that’s easiest for them. No printer is necessary — completed worksheets can be sent to the teacher digitally. parentmap.com • October 2019 • 45
learning media
Explore Tech Resources continued from page 45 Socratic • socratic.org Powered by Google AI and using text and speech recognition, Socratic is a newfangled homework helper. Students take and share a photo of a problem and get instant explanations, videos and step-by-step help. Reviews recommend it most highly for math at the high school level, but other supported subjects include science, history, literature, social studies and more. The Zones of Regulation • selosoft.com The Zones of Regulation teaches emotion-management strategies based on a cognitive behavioral approach using colored zones to represent emotions. Activities help students recognize when (and why) they are in uncomfortable emotional zones and how to get back to the right one. Time Timer • timetimer.com It’s easy to lose track of time during a break or to feel like 20 minutes of reading must have taken an hour already. Setting a timer for breaks or tasks can help kids stay on track and prevent arguments about whether they’ve been working “long enough.” A simple red circle replaced by white as time counts down makes it easy for even little kids to understand how time elapses.
TOOLS AND DEVICES
Livescribe • livescribe.com Livescribe smart pens look like a regular pen, but they can be used to digitize handwriting, making it easier to go back and study hastily scribbled notes. They also record audio for students who can’t keep up with the pace of a lecture. And, in a particularly useful bridge to competent note-taking, the notes you write down while recording are linked to the audio time stamp. Students can write down keywords and phrases during a lecture while recording — rewriting the words will automatically skip to the matched time stamp in the recording, allowing students to listen to key points again, without having to replay the entire recorded lecture. Wizcomtech Reading Pen • wizcomtech.com The Wizcomtech reading pen is not actually a pen. It’s a pen-shaped scanner designed
H A L L O W E E N
to boost vocabulary, phonemic awareness, fluency and comprehension of printed text. When the reader scans a word in text, the device provides readers with pronunciation and definitions of the “highlighted” words. (There’s also a headphone jack for use in the classroom.)
ADDITIONAL LEARNING RESOURCES
LD OnLine • ldonline.org LD OnLine provides accurate, up-to-date information about learning disabilities and ADHD. The website features hundreds of articles, videos and essays, as well as a comprehensive resource guide, very active forums, and a referral directory of professionals, schools and products. Although most of the site is geared toward parents and educators, the Kids’ Voices section features artwork and stories by children with learning disabilities and specialized book lists for kids, grouped by topic. Washington Assistive Technology Act Program • watap.org The mission of the Washington Assistive Technology Act Program (WATAP) is to help Washingtonians with disabilities make informed decisions about assistive technology and to provide alternative means of acquiring the assistive technology they need. WATAP has a device loan program that allows people to test devices for usefulness before committing financial resources to buying them. The program can help find assistive technology for memory and organization, sleep aids, anxiety reduction, and reading and writing assistance. Center on Technology and Disability • ctdinstitute.org The Center on Technology and Disability provides free, high-quality resources and events relating to all aspects of assistive technology. Although funding for the project ended in May 2019, the webinars and downloadable reports on the center’s resourcerich website will be available through 2021. ■ Gemma Alexander is a Seattle-based freelance writer with two daughters. She blogs about the arts and spends too much time on Twitter (@gemmadeetweet).
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ParentMap.com/eNews 46 • October 2019 • parentmap.com
parent day jobs
Meet Jaki McQuiston
This mompreneur has created a community space for healing through artistic expression By Annie Kuo • Photograph by Will Austin
E
ach year, approximately 1 million pregnancies in the United States end in early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or newborn death. This October, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we’re sharing the story of how one woman became a mompreneur through the loss of her infant son. Jaki McQuiston’s vision of a cross-generational community art-making space traces back to her childhood, but its fulfillment in 2018 was borne out of tragedy. Her son, Koba, who was born on April 30, 2018, after 37 weeks of gestation, arrived with no brain activity — an unforeseen condition. He died in the hospital 11 days postpartum. Just weeks after Koba’s death, McQuiston discovered the space in Shoreline where she and her husband, Devin, would eventually found The Creativity Loft
Tell us about your intention to create a space that is for folks of all ages and not just for those who identify as artists. I named this “The Creativity Loft” because I didn’t want people to think, “Oh, I’m not an artist, I can’t do that.” I want The Loft to offer an entry into trying something new and creative. For a very long time I’ve wanted a creative space, some sort of center, where people across generations are doing art and supporting each other in a strong community atmosphere. Please share what you’re comfortable telling us about the circumstances that accelerated the creation of The Loft. I was 37 weeks pregnant with Koba, my second child. He was transverse, meaning he was lying across my belly, so I went to the doctor to turn him, and that [seemed to be] successful. I ended up being monitored for eight hours, as they needed to see what was going on. I [eventually needed] an emergency C-section. With the C-section, there was a curtain. I couldn’t see Koba, and he wasn’t breathing, so they took him away and transferred him to another hospital. I didn’t see him until they transferred me. Each day that passed, I was trying to catch up to the reality of how bad a state he was in, because I was so hopeful. I hadn’t seen what my husband had seen on the other side of the curtain. Every day was kind of a nightmare because we didn’t know what would happen. Are we taking him home? Are
(thecreativityloft.com). The couple, who has a 3-year-old daughter, channeled their grief into its creation. “The Loft,” as it is affectionately called, is a community space that provides both members and the public with coworking facilities, private workshops and art lessons. Bathed in natural light and featuring wooden ceiling beams and windows as walls, this gathering space welcomes all ages to engage in artistic expression and healing. More than 30 coworking spaces exist in the Seattle area, but The Creativity Loft appears to be the only one specifically centered on bringing together community members to make and celebrate art. “Experiences throughout my life have created this vision of wanting to create that for other people,” says McQuiston.
we taking him home severely disabled? Is there assistance for us taking care of a disabled child? We ultimately found out he had microcephaly — he had no brain activity, which was also something I couldn’t really see. He just looked normal to me. It was all a shock, because my daughter is very healthy and we had no family history of anything that would have indicated this. How long after this did you find and build The Loft? My godmother owns the building that The Loft is in. About a week after Koba died, she showed it to my mom and me. I was a zombie at the time, stressed and traumatized, but I thought it was beautiful with the light streaming in. Because the space is on the second floor, it feels like a tree house surrounded by greenery. I thought, with the natural light, it was such a great space to do art. A week after seeing the space, I pitched the idea of creating a space for artistic healing and expression to my godmother. She loved it. I had lost the idea of fear. Life is so precious. The worst thing that could happen, happened. I wanted to have Koba live on through the creation of The Loft — and leave a legacy for him. So far, what people seem to be most attracted to The Loft? Our members cowork here or make art with our sewing machine, easel, paint and craft materials. This summer, we hosted a weekly art workshop open to the public,
and people come into the space wanting to rent it for different things. We’ve had a 40th birthday party here, a fundraiser, workshops on art-making and meditation. Healers have come in to do bodywork. We’re having our second holiday makers market Nov. 16–17. Last year, a lot of the participating vendors had also experienced pregnancy or infant loss. How has art been a useful tool for you in processing your loss? I’ve heard from people that baby loss is hard for them to talk about. Personally, I don’t have a hard time talking about it. For me, it’s a way of honoring Koba. As horrible as the outcome was, I had some beautiful moments of clarity and strength that came out of it, and in The Loft, I’ve created something positive out of it. I want to encourage other people to find that strength in loss and not feel like they have to hide their stories. Sometimes, the painful experiences can be our power. ■ Annie Kuo lives in Shoreline with her “rainbow baby,” a daughter who arrived after Annie’s own pregnancy loss. She and other Seattle faces appear in the documentary “Don’t Talk About the Baby” (donttalkaboutthebaby.com). It will screen at SIFF Uptown on Oct. 10 and be followed by a panel discussion.
parentmap.com • October 2019 • 47
Raise Your Parenting
IQ
Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss our great lineup of fall events! SCREENAGERS: The Next Chapter Seattle premiere film screening Learn strategies and solutions to help your screenobsessed teen survive and thrive in a digital world.
October 7 | Eckstein Middle School, Seattle
Learning to swim is a life skill
Enroll Today 1-on-1 Lessons Warm Pool Friendly Staff Flexible Scheduling
206.285.9279 SNSswim.com
Every Child Summit
Free resource fair + ParentEd Talk with Jonathan Mooney Get the resources you need to help your child thrive at this free event supporting families with neurodiverse learners.
October 23 | Stroum Jewish Community Center, Mercer Island
Connected Kids: Overcoming the Screen-Time Battle A ParentEd Talk with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin
Learn positive parenting strategies for mentoring your YouTube-hooked, Fortnite-obsessed, Instagram-dazed child.
November 6 | The Collective, Seattle
Learn more:
parentmap.com/events