Why Healing Feels Impossibly Hard Even Though It Isn’t By Dr. Rosenna Bakari
I
am one of 60 million adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. The difference between most survivors and me is that I live openly, while most survivors live in secret. I lived in silence too for forty years, hiding instead of healing. According to journals, books, and professional blogs, survivors are stifled by their sense of guilt and shame. While most of us experience those emotions to
varying degrees, my ten years of working with survivors tell a different story. The mind’s preference for the familiar is counter-productive to healing. Most survivors can work through guilt and shame, given adequate information, and affirmation support. However, even in the absence of guilt and shame, healing can feel like hell. It could be descriptively referred to as the “helling” process. A critical mental process distorts the
