Pandem Magazine Vol.1 Issue 1

CHECK UP ON YOUR GIRL

By Kimberly Batchelor Davis

The headlines screamed Covid-19, it's a Pandemic. We have to shut down. National leadership politicized the issue and said, "It will go away. It's not that bad. Don't worry, we have this under control." In the inner cities, the number of cases exploded. The new narrative was that it's a Black people's disease. Numerous Black and Brown people caught Covid-19 like a raging wildfire that would not be contained. The virus spread from the inner city to the suburban and outlying communities without haste. Political campaigns became super spreader events, contrasted against Governors all across the United States who shut their states down during mandatory lockdowns. Millions of people were forced home, and twenty million jobs were lost, many of them belonging to women.

New cases of anxiety and depression skyrocketed, and simple things like going to the grocery store became stressful because people refused to wear a mandated mask. For many, this caused great anxiety, and with the order to shelter in place, it only increased the fear. Families either pulled together or apart, which increased the stress level for many people.

So, what were people supposed to do? Fall apart, drink large amounts of wine, eat lots of food, take drugs, or seek therapy? Go to a

church, mosque, or a temple and pray? Time alone with your God is a good thing, although I believe that 2020 tested a lot of people’s faith. I don't know about you, but 2020 has been rough. The normal things that many people did to bring them joy, have coffee with friends, go to the spa, see a movie, enjoy a delicious meal at a restaurant, and get away someplace to clear your mind for a few days yet, all of those things have been taken away albeit temporarily. It still causes grief for many, and what about our girlfriends? Who checked on them, and or how do you check on them? Or who checked on you?

This year has been difficult and lonely for so many of us. Depression has hit the U.S. hard, and for other cases of anxiety, depression has increased, then a new diagnosis was created for the pandemic, Covid Depression. Incredibly, this pandemic has pushed so many people to the edge. For me, I needed to do something to help lift my mental spirit and bring me joy. My friends and I met up a couple of times outside during the summer for a nice patio meal while social distancing, and it was wonderful. Of course, the meal was good however, it was the connection and conversation that I sorely missed. The important thing is that none of us got sick from the socialization, however, we were very cautious because cases across the country continued to escalate. We followed the recommendations from the health experts and officials. I'm thankful for the two opportunities that I was blessed with to engage with friends, although I really wish this virus would go away permanently. I knew I was not alone.

My other sanity saver was utilizing virtual therapy. The ability to talk to someone even amidst the pandemic was crucial for me. If you’re struggling and need someone to talk to try out Psychology Today, https:// www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists and see if you can find someone in your area. Also, check your insurance and local county health departments. They all have resources available to you. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. It’s not weakness to ask for help. That’s strength.

At the beginning of the shutdown when people defied orders and piled up on top of each other and increased the Covid-19 spread it was a frightening sight to see. Later people defied shelter in place orders and mask mandates which threatened the life of every person that they would come in contact with. It's been difficult because there was no national mandate, and if you wore a mask you most likely didn't risk going anywhere. If you disagree with mask mandates and shutdown orders, I suggest you talk to a nurse or doctor who has faced the full Covid-19 experience.

Most women know someone who had to work outside of the home because they were an essential worker and still had to care for children and continue to maintain a home. With the addition of virtual school, it has been a grueling and steep learning curve for not only students but parents and teachers, as well. We've dealt with internet outages, power blackouts, google calls that dropped, and technology that sometimes didn't work, and if that wasn't enough to twist the knife of the pandemic in your heart, then the cases of Covid-19 increased even more. Again, what do you do? No hair salons, gyms, restaurants, bars, movie theaters, how will we make it?

Do you know how we'll make it? We'll survive this pandemic with the aid of technology. As a child, I watched the Jetsons and always thought that when I grew up, we'd be in flying cars. We haven't made it that far however, we use computers for everything, and no it's not the same as in-person, it is

better than no contact. The same computers that we use to work on, we can now call anywhere in the world and actually see someone in real-time. We have phones that are mini-computers that fit in our hands, and we can do the same thing on multiple platforms and applications. Phones can call a person, and you can hear their voice on the other end. There is also the old-fashioned practice of writing a letter by hand to someone that you love if you don't want to email them. This pandemic has challenged the way that we feel and think and let's face it. It has taken away our ability to connect. Yet, there are so many ways that we can still connect and strengthen our bonds with friends and family. If your family lives close by then you can have a drive-up visit where you wave to each other from your house to their car. Or you can wave between porches if you live especially close. If the weather is warm where you live you can meet up at a local park and visit outside while social distancing and wearing a mask. I did that twice this year, and it worked out well. However, if the weather is cold and not hospitable for outside activities then utilize the technology available to you to reach out. Place a call to hear a comforting voice, use video calls to see a friendly face, text messages give words that encourage, emails paint a story, and a handwritten letter evokes memories of the past and visions of the future.

Forty years ago, there were only three ways to connect with someone, and that was to write a letter, place a phone call or go and visit someone. People endured. The Great Blackout of the early 2000s taught us to be still and help out our fellow neighbor. People shared food, beverages, and watched over each other while a dearth of electricity settled over the east coast. This pandemic is a little different because we need to keep separated to minimize the spread of Covid-19. Although there are some similarities like respecting each other by wearing a mask, checking up on those that you love, which includes checking up on your girlfriend and even yourself. Remember, you have a right to be at peace. Do what you need to do to guard that peace even if it means finding a therapist for yourself or scheduling some time to talk to an old friend.

Kimberly Batchelor Davis

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