Preface
Happy New Year All!
I know there will be at least a few of you whom will be able to resonate with the above image, as our 2024 fantasy season is over.
Forgive the absence of this newsletter over the last couple of weeks, as the my willingness to work over the festive period vanishes.
We have the usual notes & news from around the league in this edition, as well as the recap itself of course of the playoffs. Additionally, the fun fantasy quiz returns and a new segment, end of season fantasy awards.
Oh, and an overly dramatised recap of the SB match...
News & Notes
● Jamaar Chase is the 5th person since 1970 to win the triple crown, leading the league in receptions (127), receiving yards (1,708) and receiving TDs (17).
● He is also 3rd in most touchdowns (46) within the first 4 years starting, only behind Jerry Rice (49) & Randy Moss (53)
● Lamaar Jackson is the first QB in NFL history to have 40+ passing TDs with less than 5 interceptions. A 41-4 TD-INT ratio is absurd
● He is also the first QB in NFL history to throw for over 4k yards (4,172) and rush for 800 yards (915) in a single season
● The Ravens are the first team in history to post >4k passing yards and >3k rushing yards
● Buffalo Bills meanwhile are the first team in history to post 30+ passing TDs and 30+ Rushing TDs
● The Chiefs, Patriots and Raiders finish the season failing to score 30+pts once.
● Had to re-write this note, as all 3x of the head coaches I said were on hot seats got fucking canned. Doug (Jags), Antonio (Raiders) & Jerod (Pats), are all out.
● Tyreek Hill reportedly wants out of Miami, although we all know his pull out game is atrocious
News & Notes
● Garret Wilson is expected to demand a trade request if Aaron Rodgers is the starting QB for the Jets in 2025
● The Predator has renegotiated his contract with the Browns to add 2x void years, thus allowing the team to push out the considerable dead cap space further.
● Expect the team to draft QB in the early 1st round this year
● The Browns also fired their OC in Andy Dickerson, whom was unable to do anything with Josh Allen when he was with the Bills a few years ago
● Derrick Henry is the first rusher in history to post multiple seasons of >1,900 rushing yards
● Aaron Rodgers may have played his final game in the NFL. The disasterpiece may finally be over
● Mike Evans ties Jerry Rice’s record for most consecutive seasons of >1,000 yards at 11x
● The Bears have beaten the Packers for the first time since Dec 2018
Fantasy Quiz
Rightio Folks! Similar to last year, answers will be posted at the back of the newsletter. These are football related in general, fantasy or otherwise. These questions include Week 18 contributions.
1) Who had the most interceptions?
a – Jordan Love
b – Jamies Winston
c – Patrick Mahommes
d – Aaron Rodgers
2) Who had more starts for the team at the QB position?
a – Joe Flacco
b – Mac Jones
c – Drew Lock
d – Deshaun Watson
3) Who had more rushing touchdowns?
a – Taysom Hill
b – Jayden Daniels
c – Rhamondre Stevenson
d – Najee Harris
4) Who had the most fumbles?
a – Lamaar Jackson
b – Drake Maye
c – Geno Smith
d – Baker Mayfield
5) Which Rookie had the most combined yards?
a – Marvin Harrison Jr
b – Keon Coleman
c – Romeo Odunze
d – Xavier Worthy
6) Who had the most receiving touchdowns?
a – George Kittle
b – Nick Westbrook-Ikhine
c – AJ Brown
d – Keenan Allen
7) Who had more combined yardage on the year?
a – Khalil Shakir
b – Andy Dalton
c – Mike Evans
d – Puka Nacua
8) Who was the least accurate kicker?
a – Justin Tucker
b – Harrison Butker
c – Younghoe Koo
d – Graham Gano
9) Which Tight End had the least number of Touchdowns?
a – Mark Andrews
b – George Kittle
c – Brock Bowers
d – Sam La Porta
10) Which Defense had the most takeaways on the year?
a – Vikings
b – Steelers
c – Chargers
d – Sam La Porta
2024 End Of Regular Season Recap
Next several pages will present some interesting stats and charts. Some of these may be harder to read than others, like the immediate below, although I blame the ridiculous statistical season I had.
Dominator: Chris maintained the no1 spot throughout the entirety of the season
Cave Dweller: SofaKingBurrows had the greatest length of period sitting at the bottom of league rankings
Turnstile: Jamie had the largest number of unique starters with 40 different players
Regime: Scott (fittingly) had the fewest number of unique starters with 22 different players
Weekly Pt Breakdown
Seasonal Variance
Average Weekly Pts
2025 Draft Order
As of the end of the 2024 Regular Season, the 2025 Rookie Draft Order is as follows:
1) Jamie Snr
2) Will
3) Scott
4) Ben (again)
5) Jamie
6) Shiv
7) Callum
8) Chris
This draft has a couple of okay QBs, a couple of high end RBs with a lot of okay depth after, a couple of good WRs, then meh, and a couple of raw athletic TEs. I’ll release a pre-season letter in the future covering this though.
2025 League Changes
● Super Flex – So the optimal approach will be to play 2x QBs unless you can sub in a stud muffin at RB/WR
● In light of this, it has been proposed that we reduce the number of Tight Ends back down to 1, rather than having yet another starting position. I personally concur with this, as it puts less strain on everyone’s rosters to field even more players and account for more back ups.
● Ben wants the return of 2x kickers. No….
● Special Team Yards are being removed. Fucking finally….
2024 Race to the Toilet
Cerulean Road (aka the worst cave for the worst cave dwellers)
Maybe Nix Year 202.26 pts
Our trepid adventurers found themselves wandering and wearied by the 2024 Fantasy Season, particularly Ben, whom found himself here after being water boarded in gasoline by Shiv the week prior. No one should be trying to tank here.
The regime of #FreeDeeboSamuel lept to attention, refusing to allow their glorious leader to even enter the dreaded pit for the Shit Bowl. Patrick Mahommes had his best game of the season, as did Deebo and James Cook, each going for 25pts each. Where the fuck were these guys the rest of the year? Kyle Pitts on the otherside insisted Will meets his family, and helped dragged LeeroyJenkins further into the dark depths, alongside Jerry Jeudy and Patrick Taylor, none of which could muster 5pts.
Maybe Nix Year put on the jets again, refusing to battle for a turd sandwhich, with JJ posting 36pts alongside Chubba for 32pts; the latter would go on IR, and makes me thank myself I didn’t bother trading for him. The Sofa King, true to his name, burrowed further down, setting 2x players in Waddle and Dissly that weren’t even active for the game. The Panthers have unfortunately awoken in the 2nd half of the season, and the Cardinals wings were fried to a tune of 2.86pts.
2024 Shit Bowl
159.88 pts
172.90 pts
Well this was a quite a surprising turn of events! Leaving the early Sunday games, it looked as if SofaKingBurrows had the match in the bag, with Burrow going full ham against the Benver Donkos for 42 blimmin points! Higgins seemed to get most of the love this day as well coming back from injury with 3 touchdowns, as Burrow does everything in his might to ensure the Bungals keep him.
Alas, the rest of the team shat the bed save for Evans (29pts), with no one else hitting 10 pts. With a mighty yell, LeeroyJenkins fought back in the waning hours, with Adam Thielan and Mayfield doing most of the damage for a combined 73pts! Jeudy and Bucky also had decent outings with 22-23pts each, although the rest of yer team, including recently acquired Nico… pish! Evidently did just enough though to save LeeroyJenkins from claiming the toilet bowl!
2024 Playoff Race
It only made sense that those that got through either had the most PF and wins; just the former for Jamie of course as Ben was denied by virtue of PF tie breaker. Starting with the rematch of Shiv vs Callum:
Hurts Me Bijan’s team evened out to be pretty bang average when all was said and done. Darnold had a decent game of 27 pts, although the Vikings D put on an embarrassing display all things considered against the Hawks. It’s a depressing day when your kicker puts up as many points as 4 of your other players though, with Bijan being the only other player of significance. Meanwhile, All in on Allen got only a few things wrong. Allen had a bit of a let down, but who the hell cares when the Bungals D bum fucks Brown Town for 33 pts. Keenan Allen had a monster day as well, going 29pts, as did Conner for 26pts. Conner would get banged up in this contest though which would prove costly down the line.
Now don’t think I’ve forgotten about the immediate re-match between myself and Jamie. For, based on the point differential, there was really only one grave mistake made. Let me go into this brief recap, alongside the SB match.
Suck My Penix fighting for his fantasy life
Hospital of Salt
Choosing to start Michael Penix
A more sensible QB
Lamar Jackson – 25.48pts
*TF is he doing?*
Michael Penix 6.38pts
All in on Allen
*Best man? Tf?*
Agreed
Kelce 22pts on the bench whilst Tomlin refuses to go for FGs
Shit! This is not going the way I anticipated….
Fine….
33.42pts
*Joe Mixon only got 5.9pts!?*
Lamaar Jackson
Reeling back with McConkey spanking Pats D for 29.4pts
DK Metcalf – 7.2pts
*Radio Silence*
Chase – 19pts
AJ Brown – 12.6pts
J Conner – 2.8pts
D Adams – 9.7pts
Kupp – 3.9pts
B Hall – 6.3pts
J Allen – 26.98pts
D Smith – 30pts
Eagles D – 29.04pts
C Okonkwo – 11.9pts
*just fucking missed a TD*
Kincaid – 4.4pts
Hooper – 4.9pts
Bengals D –13.1pts
J Taylor – 27.6pts
T McLaurin – A pitiful, painful 1.5pts
Ggs
Yeah, you’ve ran out of men. Ggs.
You played like crap, the trophy should have been mine
Now to put to bed some of the complaints that Jamie & Callum would have made the more tight SB matchup due to the number of points put up. Tough.
Week 17 was weird as shit, with Drew Lock posting 5 passing touchdowns against the Colts, and posted a perfect passer rating of 158.3. Hundreds of managers lost their league with the Colts D because this same Giants team permitted a Falcons Defense near 30 pts the week prior.
You then had the likes of McLaurin, wide receiver 5 on the year at the time getting completely shut down. Kupp didn’t get used at all, again, and Kelce, who hadn’t done anything for a few weeks then suddenly pops for 22pts? It is in the nature of fantasy football for there to be elements of chaos.
If you’re disappointed you didn’t get to the final dance, try to do better next time. Shiv, well done on your efforts this year; given your team’s performances down the stretch and record at the time, you definitely deserved a spot in the SB match! As did I might I add, with an average weekly total >190pts and a 13-2 regular season record.
Shiv, it’s also not your fault that you lost the SB. Whilst Fantasy may have elements of chaos, in addition to skill in predicting accurately, there is another factor. Jinxing, aka, pissing of the fantasy gods. Callum can advise further.
Want to know why I went on a near perfect record, beat Jamie 4x times, the last 2x games back to back, and the first manager to win back-back Super Bowls, the last manager of which was Jamie in 2014/2015?
As Callum can attest, I stated to him a few months back the gods are with me this year for they have been slighted and my cause, just.
My 2023 SB win was not validated by our commissioner (Jamie) on our beloved Trophy, and thus the gods in their infinite wisdom sought to rectify this transgression.
If you all want to prevent me from three-peating next season, let’s get this trophy etched. The in-person draft makes the most sense.
In the meantime, I am now 8-0 in the post season, have the most Super Bowl wins with 4, and, based on how long I’ve been in the league, have a flat 57% chance of winning the superbowl next year from the get go. This is the end of my unprompted gloating.
2024 Fantasy Awards
MVP Award for biggest contributor to success:
Lamaar Jackson – 407.4 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Josh Allen (385.04 pts)
Ja’maar Chase (377.4 pts)
Useless Git Award for failing expectations:
Christian McCaffrey – 48.8 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Steffon Diggs (121.92 pts)
Anthony Richardson (175.36 pts)
Upstart Team Award for exceeding expectations:
All in on Allen - 3rd last in 2023
Best QB Award:
Lamaar Jackson – 407.4 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Josh Allen (385.04 pts)
Joe Burrow (367.84 pts)
Best WR Award:
Ja’marr Chase – 377.4 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Justin Jefferson (299.6 pts)
Amon Ra St Brown (291.3 pts)
Best RB Award:
Saquoln Barkley – 355.3 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Jahmyr Gibbs (316.9 pts)
Bijan Robinson (310.4 pts)
Ass Bleach Trade Award:
Saquoln Barkley for Christian McCaffrey
Comeback Player of the Year Award:
JK Dobbins – 181.3 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Kareem Hunt (155.4 pts)
Adam Thielan (130.1 pts)
Steal of the Draft Award:
Brian Thomas Jr (2.04) – 267 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Bo Nix (3.03; 287.66 pts) – 1QB this year...
Brock Bowers (1.06; 247.7 pts)
Rookie of the Year Award:
Brian Thomas Jr – 267 pts
- Honourable Mentions: Malik Nabers (267 pts)
Brock Bowers (247.7 pts)
Fantasy Quiz Results
1) Who had the most interceptions?
a – Jordan Love - 11
b – Jamies Winston - 12
c – Patrick Mahommes - 11
d – Aaron Rodgers - 11
2) Who had more starts for the team at the QB position?
a – Joe Flacco - 6
b – Mac Jones - 7
c – Drew Lock - 5
d – Deshaun Watson - 6
3) Who had more rushing touchdowns?
a – Taysom Hill - 6
b – Jayden Daniels - 6
c – Rhamondre Stevenson - 7
d – Najee Harris - 6
4) Who had the most fumbles?
a – Lamaar Jackson - 10
b – Drake Maye - 9
c – Geno Smith - 9
d – Baker Mayfield - 13
5) Which Rookie had the most combined yards?
a – Marvin Harrison Jr - 885
b – Keon Coleman - 565
c – Romeo Odunze - 749
d – Xavier Worthy - 742
Fantasy Quiz Results
6) Who had the most receiving touchdowns?
a – George Kittle - 8
b – Nick Westbrook-Ikhine - 9
c – AJ Brown - 7
d – Keenan Allen - 7
7) Who had more combined yardage on the year?
a – Khalil Shakir - 821
b – Andy Dalton - 989
c – Mike Evans - 1,004
d – Puka Nacua - 990
8) Who was the least accurate kicker?
a – Justin Tucker - 73.3%
b – Harrison Butker - 90.9%
c – Younghoe Koo - 85%
d – Graham Gano - 80.7%
9) Which Tight End had the least number of Touchdowns?
a – Mark Andrews - 11
b – George Kittle - 8
c – Brock Bowers - 5
d – Sam La Porta - 7
10) Which Defense had the most takeaways on the year?
a – Vikings - 31
b – Steelers - 29
c – Chargers - 21
d – Eagles - 25