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Join our fast growing state-of-the-art outpatient facility. POSITIONS AVAILABLE:
QUALIFIED HIRES CAN RECEIVE:
•Signing DoctorsBonus & Dentists Eligible Purchased Referred Care Asst. •• Physician • Registered Nurse Manager Clinic Operations (Pediatric Experience) • Certified Medical Assistant • Registered Nurse • Registered Dental Assistant • Certified Nurse Midwife RN Certified Diabetes Educator •• Dental Director • RN – Pediatric Experience
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Human Resources Coordinator • Preschool Cook • Licensed Vocational Nurse Clincal Applications Coordinator • Community Health Representative • Quality Improvement Coordinator • Nutritionist CHR (Community •• Outreach & Public Health Health Rep.) Manager
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• Regular office hours No night shifts • Medical insurance for entire family • 403-B retirement plan • Paid time-off and 15 paid holidays • Educational loan repayment–multiple programs available
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Lake County Tribal Health Modern Medicine
707-263-8382 • 1-800-750-7181 • 925 Bevins Ct., Lakeport • www.lcthc.com
Our family is growing for you!
Now Welcom New Pa ing tients
Our family specializes in caring for your family, from newborns to adolescents and beyond. And we care for mom and dad too. The good news is that we are growing to meet the needs of our community. So we now are seeing patients at two locations. No matter which location, our team of providers treats many conditions and provides a wide-range of services including annual physical exams, chronic disease management such as diabetes and hypertension and sick visits. Family Practice Now Available at Two Convenient Locations 1050 North State Street | Ukiah, CA 95482 | 707.463.7495 Lynne Coen, MD Miriam â€œIdaâ€? Harris, MD (New) Jan Woesner, FNP 260 Hospital Drive, Suite 209 Ukiah, CA 95482 | 707.463.7488 Theron Chan, MD Vanessa Mallo, DO Kimberley Hanneken, MD (New)
Tracy Burris, FNP Anne Ebiner, FNP Fran Laughton, FNP
Our Family Caring for Yours
Call to make an appointment today
707.463.7495 (North State Street Location)
(Hospital Drive Location) Accepting Medi-Cal, Medicare, Covered California and most forms of insurance.
Bits and Pieces Beautiful Blooms A Kid’s Life 101 Be-bop the Night Away Try Out for a Winning Cheer Team Puppets, Pranks & Pie Celebrate Spring with Dance Be a Boating Birder
22 Crafting with Kids
10 Dating Danger How a local rape crisis center is working to prevent sexual assaults.
14 Add It Up Turn math into play with these tips.
18 More Than Just a Knock on the Head
The Helping Hands Wreath
23 Family Fun Power to the Planet
24 Calendar of Events Hike for Women’s Health
30 Humor Break Mom Mischief
What every parent should know about concussions.
20 Mama Loves Dirt It’s OK to be a tree-hugger.
31 Words Rise Up Hear local poets read their work.
20 4 MendoLakeFamilyLife
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Gowans invites you to
Celebrate April in Anderson Valley Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville, 14400 Highway 128, Boonville, CA Annual Unity Club, Garden Section
20th Annual Legendary Boonville
2nd Annual Anderson Valley
An indoor display of up to 400 wildflowers, trees, scrubs, and other plants from Mendocino County. Plants are for sale and are listed by common and botanical names. Visit the tea room and book sale. Enter a raffle. Supports scholarship program. Friday is school field-trip day! Call Robin 707-895-2609.
A celebration of all things goat, including milking, cheese-making, and a bestdressed goat contest—plus a Birra cook-off and traditional Mexican stew contest. Buy a bowl and be a judge! Benefits A.V. Foodshed. Call Jim Devine at 707-496-8725. email@example.com.
Sponsored by the Anderson Valley Brewery. Dozens of micro-breweries and cideries pour beer and cider. Live music and camping onsite. Adults only. Must be over 21. Supports multiple local organizations. $5 nondrinking. Absolutely no dogs. Call 707-895-2337, Ext. 40.
April 23 & 24, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Free. Donations accepted.
April 30, 1–5 p.m. $40 advance, $60 gate (cash)
April 23, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Free. Donations accepted.
Gowans is proud to support these community events. Ask for Gowans Cider and Apples in your local stores and restaur ants.
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t’s that time of year when leafing trees and blossoming flowers call us to the great Sharon Gowan outdoors. Go to Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us “Power to the Planet” (page 23) for some terrific local events that invite us to play outside and celebrate Earth Day. Then read “Mama Loves Dirt” (page 20) for ideas on how to take care of our environment every day of the year.
than one poet. See “Words Rise Up” (page 31) for places to hear local bards read their work in honor of National Poetry Month.
Office Manager Patricia Ramos firstname.lastname@example.org
Besides being the month we turn an eye toward the planet and poems, April is also Sexual Assault Prevention Month. Read “Dating Danger” (page 10) and learn how Project Sanctuary teaches area students to stay safe.
Business Marketing Renee Nutcher email@example.com Jolie Cook firstname.lastname@example.org
We hope your April is full of plenty of blue skies, birdsong—and bright ideas!
Marie Anderson email@example.com
Breathing in fresh air and staring up at the blue sky has inspired more
Leanna Wetmore firstname.lastname@example.org
Features Editor Melissa Chianta email@example.com
Production Manager Donna Bogener firstname.lastname@example.org
Calendar Patricia Ramos
Contributing Writers Jane Barteau Alexa Bigwarfe Adam Breiner Holly Hester Janeen Lewis
Family health care for all of Lake County.
Hospital Services 707-262-5000 Community Clinic 707-263-6885 After Hours Care 707-262-5088
Billing Jan Wasson-Smith
Publishing Office 134 Lystra Court, Suite A Santa Rosa, CA 95403 Tel (707) 586-9562 Fax (707) 586-9571
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Quality Christian Education
Christ-centered education in Ukiah • Small class sizes • College-prep curriculum • Music program • Family-like atmosphere • Fully accredited grades K–10
UKIAH JUNIOR ACADEMY 180 Stipp Lane, Ukiah • www.myuja.org • 707.462.6350
Bits & Pieces
ake time to smell the flowers at the free Anderson Valley Unity Club’s Annual Spring Wildflower Show. Up to 400 trees, shrubs, wildflowers, and other plants from Mendocino County will be on display in June Hall at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville, April 23 and 24, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Bring along a plant; a team of plant identification experts will help you find its name. ¶
A Kid’s Life 101
f you can’t remember what it was like to be a child, let the The Story of Us theater performance refresh your memory. Through monologues, songs, and scenes, local elementary and middle school students will let you in on the daily dramas of their lives. The event will be held on April 15 at 7 p.m. and April 16 at 2 p.m. at Near and Arnold’s School of Performing Arts and Cultural Education (SPACE) in Ukiah. Tickets are $5 (free for SPACE students) and available at the Mendocino Book Company in Ukiah, the SPACE box office, and online at spaceperformingarts.org. ¶
Try Out for a Winning Cheer Team
ith flexibility, strength, and, of course, spirit, the Lower Lake High School Cheer team won the JAMZ Youth National Cheerleading and Dance Championships held in February in Las Vegas, Nevada. Now the team is looking for new members. Starting April 4 pre-tryout open-gym periods will be held on Mondays and Thursdays, 3:30–6 p.m., at Lower Lake High School in Lower Lake. Call Coach Angie Wade at 355-0812 with any questions. ¶
Be-bop the Night Away
ap your feet to the boogie-woogie jazz of the Macy Blackman Trio. The group will be playing on April 16 at 7:30 p.m. at the Riffe’s Meeting House, next to the Tallman The Macy Hotel, in Upper Lake. Blackman, a San Francisco–based Blackman Trio is pianist, will be backed by Nancy Wright on saxophone and set to perform in Bing Nathan on bass. Tickets are $25 (plus tax) and available Upper Lake. at tallmanhotel.com or at the hotel reception desk: 275-2244, ext. 0. ¶ 8 MendoLakeFamilyLife April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Celebrate Spring with Dance
atch local dancers strut their stuff at the 35th Annual Spring Dance Festival. The performance, titled “Let’s Groove,” after the 1981 Earth, Wind, and Fire hit, will be held at the Soper Reese Theatre in Lakeport on April 2 at 7 p.m. and April 3 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $20 premium, $15 general, and $10 for ages 12 and under. Reserve your seat at soperreesetheatre. com or by calling 263-0577. ¶
Puppets, Pranks & Pie
et dressed up in wacky wear and have a little foolish fun on April 1 at Fool’s Errand, 6–11 p.m., at the Little Lake Grange in Willits. Be entertained by puppets from two nationally renowned troupes (and a couple of local puppeteers, too) while you play pranks, listen to bluegrass, and then feast on pie. The puppet show is at 7 p.m.; music is at 8:45 p.m. Tickets are $15 for adults, $2 for ages 12 and under. Proceeds benefit the KLLG low-power community radio for Willits. For information, e-mail email@example.com. ¶
Be a Boating Birder
lear Lake is home to a variety of feathered friends, including the majestic heron. Catch a glimpse of one on a Redbud Audubon Society boat ride during Heron Days, April 30 and May 7. Boats will leave hourly, 8 a.m.–1:15 p.m., both days. April trips will leave from Lakeside County Park in Lakeport into Shirley Slough and then west along the Clear Lake shoreline. May rides will leave from Redbud Park in Clearlake and explore Anderson Marsh and the upper end of Cache Creek. A guide from the Redbud Audubon Society will be on hand to point out not just herons, but also egrets, cormorants, and yellow-headed blackbirds. You may even be lucky enough to see the Western grebes and Clark’s grebes engage in courtship dances along the lake’s surface. Tours are open to kids 8 and up. Reservations are required and may be made at redbudaudubon.org. ¶
Dating Danger By Jane Barteau
She met him at a small gathering of buddies. A friend of a friend, he was cute and fun to be around, so when he asked her out, she said yes. A couple of days later, when they were out on a date, he went to the bar and came back with a glass of wine for her. It wasn’t long after she drank it that Colette (not her real name), a local college student, felt very strange. Her date grabbed her hand and was ready to take her to his car when a friend from work recognized her and noticed something wasn’t right. She intervened and took Colette home. On the way there, her legs no longer able to carry her weight, Colette fell to her knees and sobbed.
Preventing Sexual Assault through Education
Colette suspects that her date put a “roofie” or date-rape drug like Rohypnol in her drink. Research says she is not alone in her experience. According to the Association of American Universities (AAU), one in four US college women is sexually assaulted during a four-year college career. The National Institute of Justice says 80–95 percent of those women know their attackers, and that about half of the attacks occur on dates. Males are not immune, either. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) reports that 1 in 33 American
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
men experiences an attempted or completed rape in his lifetime. It’s because of numbers like these that Project Sanctuary, the Ukiah-based Mendocino County rape crisis center, teaches area kids— from pre-kindergarteners to college students—how to prevent sexual assault. Prevention programs used to focus on self-protection—walking with a friend at night, staying in lighted areas, and the like—but in recent years emphasis has shifted to the topic of consent. The reasons for the change are two-fold, says Lia Holbrook, who has been the prevention education/ volunteer coordinator at Project Sanctuary for almost ten years. The first is that lessons on “stranger
danger” don’t help the large number of victims who know their attackers— whether they are dates, brothers, or even spouses. Secondly, focusing on self-protection has inadvertently led to “victim-blaming,” a practice that
revealing clothing, or was considered promiscuous at the time of attack, a victim-blamer would say she or he somehow “deserved” to be assaulted or should have “known better.”
Fifty-four and one-half percent of college students who saw someone “acting in a sexually violent or harassing manner” did nothing.
To avoid this trap, now local sexual assault prevention advocates focus on the perpetrator by teaching that “no means no.” In addition, because so many rapes occur when the victim is incapacitated or unconscious due to alcohol or date-rape drug consumption, they also teach that “yes means yes.”
makes victims responsible for their perpetrators’ actions. For instance, if a victim drank heavily, was wearing sexually
“If someone is passed out, even if [she or he isn’t] saying no, [she or he isn’t] saying yes, either,” says Dina Polkinghorne, the executive director of Project Sanctuary.
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FREE Donation pick-up: 1.800.SA.Truck 200 Lytton Springs Road, Healdsburg Also visit our Santa Rosa Store at 1020 3rd Street, SR www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Sonoma County Airport
Travel on Nonstop Flights to/from Los Angeles, Portland, San Diego, Seattle; Orange County starting March 2016
Experience Flight Training Aircraft; Helicopters
Discover Scenic Tours Aircraft; Helicopters; Balloons; Historic Aircraft
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“[Consent is] active not passive,” notes Holbrook. “[I]t’s not enough for somebody to just say no, but it’s that somebody is wanting to engage in behavior with you, that [she or he] is excited about it, that [she or he is] wanting to do something— whether that’s kissing or holding your hand, all the way to sexual contact or sexual intercourse.” Holbrook adds that consent is “a process” that requires partners to constantly check in with each other.
“If someone is passed out, even if [she or he isn’t] saying no, [she or he isn’t] saying yes, either.” — Dina Polkinghorne
“Because somebody agrees to kiss [you]” or come to your room “doesn’t mean [she or he is] agreeing to have sex with you,” she says.
Space in your
Room in your
Become a foster or adoptive parent and help change the life of a child (707) 463-1100
www.tlc4kids.org Working with children since 1975
The nature of consent is only one of the important topics discussed in a sexual assault prevention class. Another is how to safely intervene when a threatening situation is taking place, to be what is known as an engaged bystander. Situations like Colette’s make it clear that intervention can make a powerful difference, advocates say. But the majority of college students don’t intervene. The AAU reports that 54.5 percent of college students who saw someone “acting in a sexually violent or harassing manner” did nothing, a quarter stating they weren’t sure what to do. But Holbrook says there are plenty of ways for students to take action.
“It can be something as small as…if you see somebody at a party who obviously looks like [she or he] is too intoxicated to be giving consent, and you see someone [taking that person] upstairs…not letting [her or him] go upstairs,” she explains. You can even distract a potential perpetrator while you enlist someone to help you, she says. Being an engaged bystander can also mean standing up to victim-blaming comments. “If a buddy makes a horrible rape joke, or [says] ‘she probably deserved it,’ ‘she’s a whore,’ or something like that, instead of just rolling over it, [make] a point of saying something,” advises Holbrook. Project Sanctuary even teaches kids as young as second graders to be engaged bystanders, particularly regarding incidents involving bullies, who research indicates are four times more likely to grow up to become domestic violence perpetrators. “The bystander [has] a lot of power in situations of bullying. Research shows that if a peer intervenes in a situation of bullying—and we’re not talking about physical situations— the incidence of bullying actually stops within two seconds, which is way quicker than if an adult intervened,” she asserts. “[T]he only reason people are bullying is because they get some kind of social reward for it. And so if we can take the social reward away then it would actually stop,” she adds. Holbrook understands that not every kid is going to be able to stand up
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
for another—a child may be shy or simply not developmentally ready to say “Hey, stop doing that!” or ask for help from a teacher. So she teaches small ways kids can intervene by simply not laughing at a cruel joke, “by helping the person walk away, by not continuing a rumor,” she explains. The new California law that requires high school health classes to teach about sexual assault, and the 2013 Campus Sexual Violence Elimination (Campus SaVE) Act, which requires colleges to provide programs that proactively address campus sexual assault, may mean a greater need for Project Sanctuary’s sexual assault prevention program. And it is up to the task.
“We go to schools all over the county—whoever wants us, we’ll go. We can do either one-time only presentations, or we can do a series of presentations,” says Polkinghorne.
One in four US college women is sexually assaulted within a four-year college career. She and Holbrook hope that if they teach enough students about what consent really means, and that it’s okay to take action when you see somebody in danger, that the incidents of sexual assault will decrease. Their hope is that one day we will live in a world where
Ukiah Unified Kindergarten Enrolling Now
Students age 5 by September 1, 2016 will be enrolled in Kindergarten Students turning 5 between Sept. 2 and Dec. 2, 2016 are eligible to enroll in our Transitional Kindergarten Program
Local Rape Crisis Hotlines Mendocino County
Project Sanctuary: 463-HELP (4357) and 800-350-2237
Lake Family Resource Center Community Crisis Hotline: 888-485-7733
Don’t Let them Grow Up without Participating in a May Pole Dance! Join Us for Games, Food, Festivities & Fun!
Saturday, May 7th 9 am to 2 pm • Entrance is FREE!
Registration forms available at school offices and at www.uusd.net www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Jane Barteau is the pseudonym of a northern California freelance writer who reports on parenting and psychology.
Ukiah Unified School District
2016-17 Kindergarten Registration and Transitional Kindergarten Registration
people like Colette can go on a date, or study at home, or go to sleep at night without the fear of being raped.
Visit www.mendocinowaldorf.org 6280 Third Street • Calpella 707-485-8719
Add It Up
If your child is struggling in math, ask your child’s teacher to recommend a tutor or call the math department at your local university—a math major may be willing to lend a helping hand.
Plan a trip together. Calculate the miles you will travel at a designated speed and how long it will take to get there.
Give your child an allowance to manage. Together decide how much the child will save, spend, and give away.
20 Ways to Make Math Fun By Janeen Lewis
s math homework giving you a headache? Do you dread hearing “I hate math!” every night? Maybe your kids wonder why they need to learn all the numbers and calculations in their textbooks. These tips will help you show your kids that math is relevant to everyday life—and fun!
Teach fractions while baking a treat or cooking a meal with your child. At the grocery store, tell your child you have X amount of dollars to pay for produce, for instance $3 for granny smith apples. Let him or her figure out the price per pound, weigh the apples, and then how much to get for $3. 14 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Study and graph weather. Make bar or circle graphs, or pictographs, for sunny, rainy, cloudy, or snowy days. Find the mean, median, range, and mode for the high and low temperatures each month.
Research cool careers that use math. Some interesting ones include architect, astronaut, fashion designer, forensic analyst, and computer programmer.
Learn about the lives and accomplishments of famous mathematicians, such as Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and John Nash. Let your child plan the budget for, and then cook, a special dinner.
Volunteer in your child’s math class. You will find out more about what your child is learning as well as the teacher’s expectations and how to better help your child at home.
Let your child plan the budget for, and then cook, a special dinner.
If your child is a teen with a job, help him or her formulate a budget and open a savings account.
When shopping for a new toy, backpack, or school supply, look at sale flyers from several stores. Have your child find which store has the best bargain for the desired item.
Play “store” with young children. Let them pick out toys and household items and put price tags on them. Then give them money to “pay” for the items, helping them count out the right number of bills and change.
Read math picture books like The Greedy Triangle (Scholastic, 2008), The Grapes of Math (Scholastic, 2004), The Doorbell Rang (Greenwillow Books, 1989), The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Philomel, 1994), or How Big Is a Foot? (Yearling, 1991).
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Have your tweens or teens pick out the make, model, and year of the cars they would like to buy when they are 18. Look up the value of the cars and figure out how much they will each have to earn every week until they are 18 to buy their dream vehicles.
Walk around your house and find examples of parallel and perpendicular lines in doorways, walls, furniture, and more.
Find various geometric shapes around your house and yard. Draw or take photographs and label the shapes of, for instance, the roof, the mailbox, the deck railing. Use the photos to make your own version of a book like Tana Hoban’s Shapes, Shapes, Shapes (Greenwillow, 1996).
Count down the days to special events, or, if there isn’t a much-anticipated holiday drawing near, be a little crazy and start counting the days until Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, no matter what time of year it is.
Challenge both genders to learn math. Don’t promote gender stereotypes that suggest boys are better at math and girls are better at reading. Research shows girls actually do well in math in middle and high school, but women are still underrepresented in post-graduate STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) jobs.
Play card games that involve math (for example Uno and Crazy Eights). ¶ Janeen Lewis is a freelance journalist and part-time elementary STEM teacher. She holds a master’s degree in education.
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Kaia FIT Petaluma Free 5-week session
6th Street Playhouse Pair of tickets to the play of your choice
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Learning RX Santa Rosa Book: Unlock the Einstein Inside
Sonoma County Regional Parks Large T-shirt & hummingbird notecards
Camp Castle Summer Camp: TBA
Lice Clinics of America North Bay Nit comb & bottle of Lice Remedies Oil
Sonoma County Regional Parks 4 VIP tickets to Funky Fridays
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McDonald Ranch Free week of day camp
Sonoma Gymnastics Academy 2-hour birthday party for 12
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skull—usually as the result of a sudden blow, jolt, or change of direction (e.g., whiplash). A football tackle, being hit with a baseball or softball, heading a soccer ball, falling off a bike, and being in an automobile accident are just a few of the scenarios that can result in TBI. Damage can have long-term effects. Because children’s brains are still growing, they are especially vulnerable to concussions. The damage caused by TBI can impair
More Than 6 Things Should Just a Knock You Know about on the Head Concussions
If your child participates in an activity where falls or blows to the head are a possibility, make sure he or she wears a helmet.
By Adam Breiner
normal development. Potential long-term effects of childhood concussions include abnormal brain activity that lasts for years, memory problems, attention deficits, difficulty handling anger, language impairment, personality changes, difficulty making decisions, “foggy” thinking, and more.
t’s common for kids to sustain head injuries due to sports accidents, everyday play, falls, and other mishaps. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the overall number of children and teens diagnosed with concussions or traumatic brain injury (TBI) is on the rise. It’s important for parents to understand that concussions are much more serious than “just” a knock on the head. They can negatively affect children for the rest of their lives.
Multiple concussions are especially dangerous. If a child is concussed a second time while a previous brain injury is still healing, she or he may experience more serious symptoms, a longer recovery time, and even permanent cognitive and neurological damage. Since TBI is not a visible injury, multiple concussions are a major concern—especially for young athletes.
Here are six things parents, teachers, and coaches need to know about concussions so that they can protect the young people in their care. 18 MendoLakeFamilyLife
Concussions and TBI do real damage to the brain. Concussions and TBI occur when the brain suddenly shifts within the
The signs of concussion can range from mild to severe. The immediate effects of a concussion can be subtle
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
or very noticeable. Some of the most common post-concussive symptoms include headache, visual blurring, light sensitivity, difficulty concentrating, dizziness and balance problems, nausea, memory dysfunction, and fatigue. When in doubt—whether you notice symptoms or not—it’s always smart to get your child checked out after a blow to the head. The first and best line of defense is prevention. No, you can’t raise your child in a bubble, but you can take precautions to lower his or her risk of becoming concussed. If your child participates in an activity where falls or blows to the head are a possibility, make sure he or she wears a helmet. (Go to cdc.gov/headsup/ helmets for helmet use.) If you see unsafe behaviors happening in practices or games, speak up. Remove your child from the team if changes aren’t made. The standard wait-and-rest advice may not be good enough. If your child suffers from a concussion (or one is suspected), you’ll most likely be advised to make sure that she or he rests physically and mentally for a few days. But don’t stop there. The biggest mistake most parents and coaches make is assuming that everything is okay when a youngster appears to have returned to normal after a few days of downtime. Damage may be present that you can’t see—and the only way to ascertain whether healing is complete is via functional brain imaging and other tests. The more science uncovers about the brain, the better www.mendolakefamilylife.com
we’re able to diagnose concussions and prevent negative long-term effects. Each brain’s cognitive abilities and electrical function is unique—meaning that healing will look different for each person. For this reason, it’s highly recommended that children and teens—especially athletes—get baseline tests, including neurocognitive testing and an EEG, before the athletic season begins. Having this baseline data on hand helps doctors evaluate the severity of an injury. Brain health isn’t something most people think about on a regular basis. We tend to simply assume that our brains will always be there, doing
Because children’s brains are still growing, they are especially vulnerable to concussions.
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their jobs. But the truth is, the brain is just as vulnerable to injury as other parts of the body. And in fact, TBI can have more serious, longer-lasting effects than, say, a typical broken arm or leg. Don’t assume that concussions are “normal” or that they won’t happen to your child. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to prevent and recognize concussions, and to seek proper treatment if one occurs. ¶ Adam Breiner, ND, is the medical director of the NeuroEdge Brain Performance Center, a division of the Breiner Whole-Body Health Center in Fairfield, Connecticut. The center, a free-standing hyperbaric facility, focuses on helping patients with neurological conditions. For more information, visit theneuroedge.com or wholebodymed.com.
Offering classes for 3 & 4-year-olds Creating an environment of love and trust where children can grow spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, socially and physically.
Registration Starts On: Current Students: April 19-21, 8:30-10:30 First Baptist Members: April 25, 8:30-10:30 Siblings Past & Present: April 26, 8:30-10:30 Open to Public: May 4, 7:30 am
302 W. Henry St., Ukiah April 2016
Mama Loves Dirt 7 Signs You Dig the Earth
By Alexa Bigwarfe
guess it’s time for me to admit that I’m a tree-hugger. Not the kind that would chain myself to a tree or live in a tree in protest, but the kind that makes everyday decisions for a healthier planet. Here are seven signs that you might be a tree-hugger, too.
You host Earth Day– themed play dates all year round. You use fun activities to teach kids about taking care of the planet. At ours, we made recycled plant pots, planted seeds, and created a Helping Hands Wreath (see page 22).
out of our garbage. Okay, not dig per se, but if they’re sitting on top I’ll pull them out. I just cannot stand the thought of sending an item to a landfill if it can be reused in any way.
You almost cry when you throw away something that can be recycled. I know this sounds absolutely pathetic. But it’s true that it physically pains me to put something that I know can be recycled in the trash. I have even been known to dig cans and bottles
You collect all of your “recyclable garbage” to send to organizations like Terracyle. Yes, I have a huge bin in my garage for all of those items that the local recycling program will not take—diaper and wipes packaging,
individual juice wrappers, chip and candy bags, fruit pouches, and the like. We use a lot of these items, despite our efforts to cut back. But Terracyle (terracycle. com) will pay for you to ship your hard-to-recycle products to them, and give you points in return. It’s a great program.
Your children eat lunch out of brightly colored bento boxes. Bento boxes are not only aesthetically pleasing, but also sustainable. Because they are divided into multi-sized containers, bento boxes reduce the need for multiple Ziploc bags or other prepackaged containers. I’ve sworn off individually wrapped snacks and grab a box instead. See globalstewards.org/lunch.htm and wastefreelunches.org for ideas on mitigating the environmental impact of your kid’s lunch.
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
You share YouTube videos from companies that promote green living. There are enough cute puppy videos on Facebook to keep us sighing Awww for a century. Why not share something with a purpose? Check out the Seventh Generation YouTube channel for multiple videos on all things eco or just search on
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My youngest schools our guests on what can and cannot go in the garbage. “make your own cleaning supplies” for abundant DIY tips for keeping the house spic-and-span.
Your child’s first real chore was taking recyclables to the bin. We keep a bag inside to collect recyclables throughout the day. When it gets full, I have the kids take it to the bin in the garage. At only three years old, my youngest schools our guests on what can and cannot go in the garbage.
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Your recycle bin is full just two days after pickup. We had to add an additional garbage can to contain our recyclables, and sometimes that’s not even enough. Since the recycling crew won’t pick up anything that does not fit in the can, I might have to start sneaking my overage into the neighbor’s bin. (Just kidding!) ¶ Alexa Bigwarfe is a wife, mother, writer, and author who writes for regional parenting publications.
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Crafting with Kids
The Helping Hands Wreath
Eco-art for Little Ones
By Alexa Bigwarfe
arth Day is a fun opportunity to teach kids about taking care of the planet. This craft will help them think of ways they can pitch in.
What you need: Plain white paper, green and blue crayons or markers, scissors, 1 sheet of globe templates, paper plate, hole-puncher, yarn.
How to do it:
1. Color the sheet of paper blue and green. 2. Trace your child’s hand on the colored paper. 3. Cut out the handprint. Repeat until you have six handprint cutouts. 4. Cut out the globes and paste one on each handprint. If you can’t find a globe template online, you can make your own globes with paper and markers or crayons, or you can buy globe stickers, such as those available from Zazzle. (If you use stickers or make your own, use a Sharpie to write earth-friendly phrases on the globes. See photo for step 6 for examples.)
5. Cut the center out of the paper plate. 6. Glue the handprints around the plate. Punch holes in the top. Run the yarn through the holes to make a hanger. Alexa Bigwarfe is a freelance writer, wife, the mother of three young children, and a dog owner. In addition to recycling and hugging trees, she enjoys writing about children’s health and environmental issues.
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April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Power to the Planet
Local Ways to Celebrate Earth Day
onor the spinning blue-and-green orb we call home at these area gatherings.
Gift a Tree In the wake of the Valley Fire, if you would like to give a tree to a Lake County resident, contact Kathy Blair at 972-2084, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Fort Bragg The Noyo Food Forest, which grows fresh produce for local schools, will be holding its free 10th Annual Earth Day Celebration on April 23, noon–5 p.m., at the brand-new Learning Garden on the Fort Bragg High School campus. Enjoy bee-and pollinator-focused workshops, popular local musicians, food, a plant sale, and kids’ activities. See noyofoodforest.org/ earth-day for more information. Hopland Grab your pooch and head over to Saracina Vineyards ranch on April 23 for an Earth Week Dog Hike, 10:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Stroll through four miles of rolling green hills and then sample wines while your dog munches on treats. The fee is $35. Register by calling 670-0199, e-mailing email@example.com, or logging on to saracina.com. Online registration ends April 21. Mendocino Climb aboard an outrigger and take a free one-hour ride on the beautiful Big River Estuary on April 24, 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Children ages 10 and up are welcome. Reservations required. Call 937-0273, 9 a.m.–5 p.m., to make a reservation. Redwood Valley Find out how a biodynamic farm works while you visit with lambs and calves at the Frey Organic Winery in Redwood Valley on April 23. The guided farm tour starts promptly at 1 p.m. and will be followed by demonstrations of biodynamic gardening. End the day with organic appetizers and a wine tasting. Tickets are $20. Reservations are requested by April 15. Call 800-760-3739 or e-mail wineclub@ freywine.com for more information. Let a hot air balloon ride give you a whole new perspective at Barra of Mendocino on April 23 at 6 a.m. After your flight, enjoy a continental breakfast and a glass of organic wine. The event is $225. Visit barraofmendocino.com to reserve your space. Ukiah Learn about one of the Earth’s more mysterious creatures at the “Enchanted History of Bats” lecture at the Ukiah Civic Center on April 19, 7–9 p.m. University of California Farm Advisor Rachel Freeman Long will discuss the 25 California species of this nocturnal animal, which despite their (unearned) reputation for being aggressive, are actually pretty cute. ¶ www.mendolakefamilylife.com
Underestimate the Power of the Purse Moms typically control 80% or more of their household budgets They’re looking right here, to find you. Call now. Don’t miss another month.
IN PRINT • ONLINE • EVENTS • CONTESTS
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April Calendar of Events Hike for Women’s Health
et your workout in and make the world a better place all in one morning. Worldwide Healing Hands, a nonprofit dedicated to women’s and children’s health, is sponsoring Hike 4 Healing up Wright’s Peak on Mount Konocti in Kelseyville on April 30, 9 a.m.– 1 p.m. Entrance fee for this fundraiser is $25; children under 12 can participate for free. Register at Dr. Paula Dhanda’s office at 5685 Main St., Kelseyville or at worldwidehealinghands.org. Call 245-6414 for more information. ¶
Friday 1 FREE Sonoma Family Life Summer Camp Fair. Find
Fairgrounds. 401 Martin St., Lakeport. lakecochamber.com/calendar.html. A Fool’s Errand. Puppets, pranks,
information on summer camps, family travel, fun & learning. 3–7 p.m. Coddingtown Mall. 733 Coddingtown Center, Santa Rosa. sonomafamilylife.com.
pies & bluegrass. Family fun with 2 nationally renowned puppet troupes. This is a fundraiser for KLLG. Foolish attire encouraged. Puppet show: 7 p.m. Music: 8:45 p.m. $15. Ages 12 & under: $2. Little Lake Grange. 291 School St., Willits.
FREE Lake County Fair Foundation Potty Party. This is a fundraiser
to enhance the restrooms on the fairgrounds. Music, food & fun. 5:30–7:30 p.m. Pledges & donations welcome. Lake County
Tulip Time Festival. BBQ in the Olive Tree Grove, tulip viewing & picking, live music. Noon–2 p.m. Boatique Winery. 8255 Red Hill Rd., Kelseyville. boatiquewines.com.
Beginner Bird Walk. 9 a.m.
Sponsored by the Mendocino Coast Audubon Society. The gardens charge a reduced fee for participants. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. In the Construction Zone: Mendocino County Assemblage Art. Featuring “3-dimensional collage”
and optical illusion. Individuals: $4. Students & seniors: $3. Families: $10. Wed.–Sat.: 10 a.m.–4:30 p.m. Sun.: noon–4:30 p.m. Grace Hudson Museum. 431 S. Main St., Ukiah. 467-2836. gracehudsonmuseum.org. FREE STEM Saturdays for Kids.
Series of free technology-themed workshops for children ages 9–13. Children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult. Saturdays in April. 10–11:30 a.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 463-4490. co.mendocino.ca.us. FREE Nature Walks. Visit the Seabiscuit’s stomping grounds on a docent-led nature walk. Ages 10 and up. No dogs! Walks on Apr. 9 & 16. 10 a.m. Reservations required: 391-3872. Ridgewood Ranch. 16200 North Hwy. 101, Willits. seabiscuitheritage.org. Spring Dance Festival. Let’s Groove!
In honor of Earth, Wind & Fire. The Lake County Arts Council presents 24 MendoLakeFamilyLife
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
this showcase of Lake County dancers. Thru Apr. 3. Apr. 2: 7 p.m. Apr. 3: 2 p.m. General: $15. Premium: $20. Ages 12 & under: $10. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. 263-0577. soperreesetheatre.com.
Family Portraits Individuals • Families • Events
BobRiderPhotography.com • (707)245-5321
FREE First Fiddlers’ Jam. Listen to
some terrific fiddle tunes played by members of the Northern California Old Time Fiddlers Group. Noon–2 p.m. Ely Stage Stop. 9921 Soda Bay Rd., Kelseyville.
Monday 4 Cheerleading Tryouts. Pre-tryout
open-gym period: Mondays & Thursdays. 3:30–6 p.m. 355-0812. Lower Lake High School. 9430 Lake St., Lower Lake. facebook.com/ lowerlakehighschoolasb.
Saturday 9 FREE Nature Walk & Ranch House Tours. 8:30 a.m. The walks take
between 1½ and 3 hours, depending on the route taken. Rain cancels. The walk will be followed by a tour of the ranch house. Anderson Marsh State Historic Park. Entrance on Anderson Ranch Pkwy. off of Hwy. 53 between Clearlake & Lower Lake. 995-2658. andersonmarsh.org. FREE International Cesarean Awareness Network, Inc. (ICAN).
Support for Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) & cesarean recovery. 11 a.m.–noon. Second Sat. of month. Mendo Baby. 198 S. School St., Ukiah. Facebook: Northern-California-Birth-Collective.
NOW HIRING Certificated Teachers and Classified Staff
Visit us at one of these upcoming job fairs: Sonoma State University - April 15 Chico State University - April 16 Sacramento State University - April 19 or visit www.konoctiusd.org (Employment Opportunities)
Pre-Symphony Dinner. Pork tenderloin, stuffed sole, or vegetarian option. Plus Alice’s famous banana cream pie. This is a benefit for the Food for Food Program, which feeds approximately 200 people daily. Call
Discover more about how we are elevating student learning at www.konoctiusd.org
707-994-6475 April 2016
ahead to reserve a table. 5:30–7:30 p.m. $18. Redwood Coast Senior Center. 490 N. Harold St., Fort Bragg. 964-0443. rcscenter.org. Symphony of the Redwoods.
Beethoven, Hadyn & Brahms. Thru Apr. 10. Apr. 9: 8 p.m. Apr. 10: 2 p.m. $20. 18 & under: free. Cotton Auditorium. 500 N. Harold St., Fort Bragg. symphonyoftheredwoods.org. FREE Teen Leadership Council.
Teens will gain valuable skills & experience helping with projects
such as designing the library’s new teen space, planning events & recommending books & materials for purchase. 3–4 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 467-6434. co.mendocino.ca.us. Exhibit Launch & Murder Mystery.
The Friends of the Lake County Museum are hosting a murder mystery dinner to kick off the opening of the museum exhibit Crime & Punishment in Lake County. Includes 3-course catered dinner & refreshments. Doors: 6 p.m. Show: 6:30 p.m. $65. Seating is
limited. Historic Courthouse Museum. 255 N. Main St., Lakeport. 263-4555. lakeportmainstreet.com. FREE 6th Annual Children’s Festival & Advocacy Walk. Join
the fight to prevent child abuse. Put on your superhero costume & walk. Free crafts, music, contests & much more. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Lower Lake Park. Mill & Main Streets, Lower Lake. Reserve booth: 994-5486. lakecountychildrenscouncil.com.
Sunday 10 FREE Autism Stars Fundraiser & Awareness Walk. Fashion show,
Barneby’s Hot Four
raffles, sweet treats, local vendors & much more. All proceeds will benefit summer programs for kids with autism spectrum disorder & disability in Lake County. 2–5 p.m. Registration: 1 p.m. Walk: 3 p.m. $20. Kids under 5: free. Middletown Mansion. 20650 S. State Hwy. 29, Middletown. Contemporary Chamber Series.
The quartet SquarPeg combines musical textures from multiple disciplines to create new sounds. 3 p.m. Loge Seat: $10. Table Seat: $20. Ages 18 & under: free. Reservations required. Soper Reese Theatre. 275 S. Main St., Lakeport. 263-0577. soperreesetheatre.com.
Feast on Jazz
reat yourself to visual and aural delights at the six-week 13th Annual Sonoma-Mendocino Coast Whale and Jazz Festival, April 1–May 14. Highlights include the Paul McCandless Trio playing at Pier Chowder House and Tap Room in Point Arena on April 8 at 6:30 p.m.; and the Yancie Taylor Quintet (featuring James Bailey) and the Gypsy Trio performing at the Gualala Arts Center on April 16 at 7 p.m. Meanwhile, a Chowder Challenge at the Gualala Arts Center on April 23, 11:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m., will satisfy your stomach while your feet get movin’ to authentic New Orleans jazz played by local band Barneby’s Hot Four. Tickets for the April 16 double-bill concert are $28 in advance, $33 at the door; youth ages 7–17 get in free. Chowder Challenge tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door. For a complete listing of events and ticket prices, go to gualalaarts.org. Tickets available on brownpapertickets.com. ¶
Friday 15 The Story of Us. Presented by
the School of Performing Arts & Cultural Education (SPACE). Kids 10–13 give a tour of their lives thru scenes, songs & monologues. Apr. 15: 7 p.m. Apr. 16: 2 p.m. $5. SPACE Theater. 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. spaceperformingarts.org.
Saturday 16 FREE Know Lake County & Book to Action Series: Valley Fire. 7 speakers
will tell their Valley Fire stories. 2–4 26 MendoLakeFamilyLife
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
p.m. Lakeport Library. 1425 N. High St., Lakeport. library.lakecountyca.gov.
Observatory. 5725 Oak Hills Ln., Kelseyville. 262-4121. lakecoe.org.
Center. 46501 Old State Hwy., Gualala. gualalaarts.org.
FREE Live Reptiles with Al Wolf & Friends. There will be
Sonoma–Mendocino Coast Whale & Jazz Festival Chowder Challenge.
FREE Book to Action Series: Fire Stories. Interviewers & storytellers
Family-friendly event includes a traditional New Orleans jazz concert. 11:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m. Advance: $20 for 15 tasting tickets & a free glass. Door: $25. 884-1138. Gualala Arts
will come together in a recording session. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Schoolhouse Museum. 16435 Main St., Lower Lake. library.lakecountyca.gov.
an assortment of live snakes, lizards & other critters to view. Some will be available for hands-on experiences. 9–11 a.m. Presented by Sonoma County Reptiles Rescue. Little River Inn. 7751 Hwy. 1, Little River. 937-5942. littleriverinn.com.
Sunday 17 FREE Sunday Matinee at the Library. Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
Food-friendly event. 2 p.m. Ukiah Library. 105 N. Main St., Ukiah. 467-6434. co.mendocino.ca.us.
Wednesday 20 FREE Business Plan Workshop.
Write & use your business plan. Dos & don’ts for writing an effective plan. 1–4 p.m. Presented by SCORE. Lakeport City Hall. 225 Park St., Lakeport. Register: 263-5092 or lakecochamber.com/calendar.html.
Lower Lake Park Mill Street & Main Street Lower Lake CA Lower Lake Park Mill Street & Main Street Lower Lake CA
Thursday 21 FREE Workforce Lake Job Fair.
Focusing on businesses & contractors hiring for positions in Lake County. Job seekers: Come with résumé & dressed for success. 1–4 p.m. Workforce Lake. 55 First St., Lakeport. Point Arena Lighthouse Full Moon Tour. From the lantern tower, enjoy a
moonlit panoramic view of the sea & coast. Champagne, sparkling juice & snacks served at tour’s end. 8–9:30 p.m. $30. $50 for 2. Reservations required. 45500 Lighthouse Rd., Point Arena. pointarenalighthouse.com.
Saturday 23 Lecture on Einstein Gravitational Waves by Tim Gill. Adults: $5.
Kids under 12: $3. 8 p.m. Taylor www.mendolakefamilylife.com
For information and to register for the Advocacy Walk www.lakecountychildrenscouncil.com April 2016
FREE Mendocino County Education Jobs Fair. Networking event to
Anderson Valley Wildflower Show & Goat Festival. Wildflower Show
connect educational institutions with community members seeking education-related employment. 9 a.m.–3 p.m. Mendocino County Office of Education. 2240 Old River Rd., Ukiah. 467-5012. mcoe.us.
on Apr. 23 & 24: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Goat Festival on Apr. 23 only: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Mendocino County Fairgrounds. 14400 Hwy. 128, Boonville. mendocinocountyfair.com.
10th Annual Earth Day Festival.
Live music & entertainment, culinary showcases, kids’ activities, community art project & plant sale. Noon–5 p.m. Fort Bragg High School Learning Garden. 300 Dana St., Fort Bragg. noyofoodforest.org. Spring Plant Sale. 9 a.m.–5 p.m. daily
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thru May 1. There is no admission fee charged to attend the sale. Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens. 18220 Hwy. 1, Fort Bragg. 964-4352, ext. 16. gardenbythesea.org. FREE Volunteer Day at Campovida.
Be rewarded with surprises for your commitment to showing up & helping out. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. 13601 Old River Rd., Hopland. RSVP: 744-8797 or e-mail hello@campovida. com. campovida.com. Sarcina’s Earth Week Dog Hike.
1-800-606-5550 ext. 211
Rural Communities Child Care
Enjoy a 4-mile hike with your pals & pooches, followed by a wine-country picnic lunch. 10:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. $35. 11684 S. Hwy. 101, Hopland. 670-0199. saracina.com. Earth Day Biodynamic Farm Tour & Celebration. Farm tour, demos,
Vino and BBQ
evel in the smells and tastes of local wines at the Hopland Passport on April 30, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. You get to visit 14 wineries, enjoying food pairings and live entertainment at each stop. (Designated drivers get in free.) For dinner, trek on over to the Hopland Fire Fighters’ Annual Barbecue, with live music by the Pulsators. Dinner starts at 5 p.m., with music and dancing at 7 p.m. Passport tickets are $40 in advance, $50 at the event, while the barbecue is $20. Purchase tickets for both events at destinationhopland.com.
wine tasting & organic appetizers. 1–4 p.m. $20. Reservations required by Apr. 15. Frey Vineyards. 14000 Tomki Rd., Redwood Valley. 485.5177. freywine.com.
Sunday 24 FREE Kelseyville Olive Festival.
Enjoy a day of family fun. Contests, product samples, children booths & much more! 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Chacewater Winery & Olive Mill. 5625 Gaddy Ln., Kelseyville. kelseyvilleolivefestival.com. FREE Outrigger Rides. 1-hour rides along Big River Estuary. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Children must be over 10. No pets! Reservations requested. Catch a Canoe & Bicycles, Too. 1 S. Big
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
River Rd, Mendocino. 937-0273. visitmendocino.com. FREE UkiaHaiku Festival. A
celebration & competition devoted to the haiku form of poetry. Listen to winners in each category, kindergartener to adult, read their entries. Light refreshments. 2–4 p.m. SPACE Theater. 508 W. Perkins St., Ukiah. 462-9370. spaceperformingarts.org.
Thursday 28 Historic Ranch Day Trip. Take a
step back in time to the 19th century. Wagon tour, BBQ & complimentary wine. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Adults: $60. Seniors: $50. Ages 5–12: $40. Ages 5 & under: free. Reservations are required & seating is limited. Tours run rain or shine. Eleven Roses Ranch. 5456 New Long Valley Rd., Clearlake Oaks. 998-4471. elevenrosesranch.com.
Saturday 30 Heron Days! Birding boat tours on Clear Lake. 90-minute tours leaving hourly, 8 a.m.–1:15 p.m. Apr. 30: Lakeside County Park. 1985 Park Dr., Lakeport. May 7: Redbud Park. 14655 Lakeshore Dr., Clearlake. Tours sell out quickly. Make reservations online: redbudaudubon.org/heron-days-2016. Hike 4 Healing. The yearly trek is a fundraiser to support the work of Worldwide Healing Hands in Lake County & in underserved areas of the world. Sign-in: 8 a.m. Hike: 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Adults: $25. Kids under 12: free. Mount Konocti. Konocti Rd., Kelseyville. 245-6414. Register online: worldwidehealinghands.org. Fire Fighters’ Annual BBQ. Dinner: 5 p.m. Dance: 7 p.m. Live music by the Pulsators. $20. Designated driver wristband is complimentary.
Hopland Fire Dept. 21 Feliz Creek Rd., Hopland. destinationhopland.co. 4th Annual Caspar UkeFest.
Workshops, jam sessions & performances. Ukulele players of all ages & levels are encouraged to join. 10 a.m.–9 p.m. All day: $45. Half-day: $25. Evening performances only: $15. Caspar Community Center. 1501 Caspar Rd., Caspar. mendocinostories.com/ ukefest. 20th Annual Legendary Boonville Beer Festival. Roaring Twenties
theme. More than 80 breweries. Live music by Rollin’ Boil Blues Band, Redbud, Thorn Petals, Bar Chords. Costume contest. 21 & over only. No dogs allowed. 1–6 p.m. Advance: $45. Gate: $60. Nondrinking: $5. Mendocino County Fairgrounds. 14400 Hwy. 128, Boonville. 895-BEER, ext. 40. avbv.com.
Open House & Variety Show One, Fun Variety Show!!!
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Mom Mischief Pranks to Play on Your Kids By Holly Hester
oms don’t have to sit idly by on April Fools’ Day while their children play annoying pranks on them. I think it’s high time to turn the tables on those ankle biters! So here are a few suggestions to get the ball rolling in your house. These pranks are guaranteed to take your children by surprise and possibly even make them hide from you on the first day of April for the rest of your life. Toddlers Prank 1 Have a tea party with your children and bestow upon them the honor of being the servers. When they pour you a cup of tea, immediately start crying and telling them they poured the tea in the wrong cup. When your children try to remedy the situation by pouring tea in a new cup, only cry harder. Finally, rub some scones in your hair and scream, “No, I do not need a nap!” By the time you shout, “April Fools! I am not a toddler!” everyone should be in tears. Preschoolers Prank 1 Tell your child that school has been canceled and they never have to go again. As soon as your child starts rejoicing, yell “April Fools! You’re actually going to be in school for the next 18–21 years and after that 30 MendoLakeFamilyLife
it’s straight into a five-day-a-week soul-sucking job!” Prank 2 Convince your preschooler that there has been a horrible gas leak and the only way to avoid being poisoned is to take a
Rub some scones in your hair and scream, “No, I do not need a nap!” bath and eat a bunch of vegetables. If this prank works, never reveal that it’s April Fools. Just continue with the prank until college. Elementary Schoolers Kids at this age love pranks. You might as well take advantage of it while you can and short-sheet the bed, or fill their Oreos with white toothpaste and the toothpaste tube with mustard. But be warned—they will prank back, and their pranks will be completely random and terrifying and make you wonder how you gave birth to the spawn of the devil. Middle Schoolers Prank 1 Create a flyer that says, “Mom dance-a-thon! Come watch your mom shake her stuff!” Use the address of your child’s school as the location of
the dance-a-thon. As you stick the flyer on the fridge, make sure you’re wearing a glittery unitard and cattail. Only shout “April Fools!” after you’ve been able to practice your slick moves in front of your middle schooler’s friends. Teenagers Prank 1 Tell your teenager that you can’t really afford to send them to college. As their face drains of color and their future evaporates, shout “April Fools!” (Then quickly scramble to come up with a way to afford to send them to college.) Prank 2 Fill the house with kegs of beer, and then tell your teenager that you’re going out of town for the weekend, and they are welcome to have a party. Once they’ve texted all their friends, shout “April Fools! I’m actually having a grown-up party for once in my life, and you’re staying at Grandma’s! She just had cataract surgery, and she needs help taking a shower.” Then put on your unitard and cattail, crack open a cold one, and call all your mom-friends. It’s April Fools’ party time. ¶ Holly Hester lives in Sebastopol and writes about life on her blog, Riot Ranch. Find her book, Escape from Ugly Mom Island!, on Amazon.
April 2016 www.mendolakefamilylife.com
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oetry nourishes the mind and the soul. Since April is National Poetry Month, why not explore how a few lines of verse can enrich your family’s lives? Here are some local events to get you started.
Lakeport Throughout California, county and city poet laureates promote the power of verse in their neck of the woods. The new poet laureate for Lake County will be announced on April 8 at 6 p.m. at the Soper Reese Theater. Bring an older teen to listen to the current and past laureates read from their work. Admission is free. Mendocino Young poets will have a chance to strut their literary stuff at the 16th Annual Countywide High School Poetry Slam at the Matheson Performing Arts Center at the Mendocino High School in Mendocino on May 3 at 4 p.m. Teens from Ukiah, Fort Bragg, Mendocino, and Point Arena will perform their work, which will be judged based on content, performance ability, and audience response. Point Arena Jason Bayani, a former National Poetry Slam finalist and founding member of the Filipino American Spoken Word Troupe, will be performing April 21 at 7:30 p.m. at the Third Thursday Poetry and Jazz Improv Reading Series at 215 Main in Point Arena. Listen to live improv jazz as the words fly through the air. www.mendolakefamilylife.com
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