Fall 2022 Issue, September –22 Your Issue, Your Voice
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O
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ur souls are on a journey to eternity. We are given this body for living on this earth, which carries our souls until the end of its earthly journey. This body is made from the mud of this earth so it can easily carry out the test it is assigned to do while living here.
Anyone who has ever done a test in a laboratory or anywhere knows there are specific requirements to do a test and sometimes special gear and suits are needed to be worn while the
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The test is to recognize Allah as our Lord, despite having a freewill.
As soon as our itinerary is done, we shed our earthly body and move to the next phase where results of the test conducted on the earth are to be analyzed. The stamps of good or bad are only things we will take with ourselves which are our deeds. The process to clean the soul is
Thathere.is
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The journey and itinerary of what, how, when is downloaded with soul into our mother’s womb when we are in a state of physical development. We are given free
will to conduct this test while all the equipment required to conduct this test is already created and assigned.
always we like to thank our readers, editors, writers, proofreaders, designers and everyone who helps us every quarter to bring out an issue. I hope you enjoy it and I am looking forward to your comments and suggestions. Please feel free to post on Facebook or Instagram, or email us at lim@gmail.comnorthwestmus-.
why the Quran states not to indulge in the brightness of this world, because everything here is kind of like laboratory equipment, only to be used in lab settings to conduct the test and is unnecessary for the next phase of the journey of soul.
Likefire.
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test is conducted. This special suit we wear while we are here is this body. The body and everything in this world is earthbound; it doesn't leave with us, when we move to the next phase of life because it is not needed there. That’s why the body and every material we have, save, use, acquire had to be left
CONTENT/ABOUT US © NorthWest Muslim www. Quran.com , & www.Sunnah.com Editor in Chief, Layout, Design & Illustrations: Shaista Khurshid Editor & BeenishProofreadersKhurshidHarrisNamiContents & Articles By: Beenish Khurshid, Shaista Khurshid Editor’s Note! 2 Nikah Khutbah 6 Character Starts at Home Financial Abuse 14 Dua For Parents 22 So, Whose Idea Was That Anyways! 26
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Muslim Magazine
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Nikah Khutbah
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By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta
1. Mahar (or dowry a gift from the groom to the bride) an obligation of the groom without which the marriage is considered as Zina
Every culture has its own way to do it.
There are diverse ways to do a Nikah and a wedding. But there are few things prescribed by Allah to initiate a bond between the two genders.
7 D ress, venues,flowers,dholki, cakes and mehndi it is wedding season. Weddings are probably the most common tradition every culture shares.
6. Maturity: For a Muslim marriage both bride and groom should be adults. A Muslim should physically, mentally, emotionally, physiologically and psychologically be an adult when marrying. As it is a great responsibility which can make or break our dunya and Akhira.
5.
4. Witness: There should be two witnesses from each side but having more people as witnesses is better.
A person without this ability should refrain from marrying until he or she reaches that maturity and mental fitness.
8.present.Commitment
on page 9)
2. Side note: Mehar is not a competition on who gets what. It is just a gift given with heart from the groom to his bride who is entering with him in a bond of marriage. It can be anything, including money. There is no fixed amount, and it should be (ma'roof) good, favourable, and fair for both parties not burdening anyone or any side.
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7. Wali: Presence of wali or guardian for a never married before woman. Previously married women do not need a wali of permanency:
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3. The offer and Acceptance: The groom and bride should be ready to enter this marriage on their own free will without any pressure or force from outside or inside
A nikah entered upon with the intention of it being temporary is not considered a valid Nikah in Sunni Islam (Shia fiqh has a difference of opinion on this condition). Nikah’s must be made with the intention of lasting permanently, if Allah wills.
9. Announcement: A nikah needs to be made public and announced to the community. This is so that the community knows that the couple is legitimate. There is no such thing as secret nikahs in Islam.
سفن نم مكقلخ ىذلٱ مكبر اوقتٱ سانلٱ اهيأـي ايثكلًاجر امهنم ثبو اهجوز اهنم قلخو ةدحو نإ ماحرلْٱوۦهب نولءاست ىذلٱ للَّٱ اوقتٱو ءاسنو ابيقر مكيلع ناكللَّٱ er,wombsWhomwomen.fromcreatedOmankind,fearyourLord,Whoyoufromonesoulandcre-atedfromititsmateanddispersedbothofthemmanymenandAndfearAllāh,throughyouaskoneanother,andthe(fearAllāhinregardtorela-tionsofkinship).IndeedAllāhisev-overyou,anObserver.[SurahAlNisa ’4:1] (Continued from page 8) (Continued on page 10)
While there is no required readings at a Nikah, there are usually three Ayahs commonly recited at Nikah ceremony. You might find various other versions too, but I will discuss only what I know.
10.Valima: It is the sunnah of Rasullulah SAW to celebrate a marriage with a wedding feast after the couple has been married.
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There are few points to take here. The first one is that the system of having two genders is Allah’s creation. He could have made us into something else and a totally different set of species. He created us from one and created us into men and women. Allah has given us viable relationships, like parents, children, siblings, spouses and more. We could have been born like apples or corn, but He decided to make us into a human, someone with intellect, who walks upright and has a free will. Thus marriage between men and women and its requirements is also given by Allah.Inthe
above ayah Allah is reminding us to be mindful of Him and
10 تُنٱولَانتومتلَوۦهتاقتقحللَّٱاوقتٱاونماءنيلَّٱايُّأي نوملسم theObelievers!BemindfulofAllahinwayHedeserves, 1 anddonot missiondieexceptin˹astateoffull˹sub-˹toHim˹[SurahAli ‘ Imran3:102] ٠٧اديدسلَوقاولوقوللَّٱاوقتٱاونماءنيلَّٱايُّأـي ۥلَوسروللَّٱعطينموكُبونذكُلرفغيوكُلعْٱكُلحلصي ٠٧ايمظعازوفزافدقف Oyouwhohavebelieved,fearAllāhandspeakwordsofappropriate justice.Hewill[then]amendfor attainedandyouryouyourdeedsandforgiveyousins.AndwhoeverobeysAllāhHisMessengerhascertainlyagreatattainment.[Surah AlAhzab33:70-71]
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women. Women are given the pain and process of birth and menstruation, and the decision of having a womb in a woman, is Allah’s, as are the pain and nuances of birth. It is narcissistic and arrogant to think that one is above other, but disrespecting Allah’s design and creation is next level.) Furthermore, marrying a woman will produce more relationships which will be connected to you by the womb which is not your mother’s womb, it’s your wife’s. We as humans have to respect all relationships created for us either through our mother’s womb or any other women's womb thus respecting the carrier of the womb women. The next lesson is that, We have to
understand that this bond should not be taken lightly. When Allah says ‘ theWhomAndfearAllāh,throughyouaskoneanother,andwombs(fearAllāhinregardtorelationsofkinship)
’,this should remind us that our all relationships start with a womb. This womb is the one implanted into a woman by Allah. When we complain about our spouses or anyone, we should be understanding that if this womb didn’t exist we all would not have existed the way we are now. So, respect the creator who has created the womb and the one who carries it and its nuances without complaining and be nice to each other. (This is especially important for those who think that men are above or greater than
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be careful about what we say, what we think and how we act. These all contribute towards either having a messy painful relationship or towards tranquil relationships. When Allah says “Oyouwhohavebelieved, priatefearAllāhandspeakwordsofappro-justice
”,this doesn’t become a guideline, instead it becomes an obligation to speak what is correct, right, fair and just. The word اديدسis translate as straight, right, good, just,or correct, which in all meaning says that Allah wants us to be fair in speech and conduct, instead of lying or being manipulative. fairness, love, justice and mercy which in general is needed to make this world a better place.
ايْلااونكستلاجوزٱكُسفنٱنمكُلقلخنٱۦهتـياءنمو نوركفتيموقلتياللِذفِناةحْروةدومكُنيبلعجو ١٧ “ forAndofHissignsisthatHecreatedyoufromyourselvesmatesthat youfindtranquilityinthem;andHe peoplemercy.placedbetweenyouaffectionandIndeedinthataresignsforwhogivethought.SaheehInternationalThenikahormarriageisthewaytounitetwosoulsintoahouseholdwheretheybothunitewitheachotherinharmonytomakeonesolidhouseholdbasedonfearofAllah,
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haracter starts at home is a seven parts series started to address common abuses around our society .
By Beenish Khurshid, San Francisco, California
Some of it is slowly passed down the generations silently, while some of them are widely used as Islamic way of life. This series tends to address the difference between what Allah has permitted and what is out of bound from the get go. The first of this series addresses Financial Abuse.
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- What is Financial Abuse? - Next Page
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By Beenish Khurshid, San Francisco, California
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common proverb in the English language is that charity starts at home. In this article, I argue that it is not just charity that starts at home, but leadership, and character itself. In fact, Hadith from the Prophet SAW corroborate this approach to life and family:
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A
Abu Hurayrah related that “The best among the believers is he whose character is the best. And the best among you is the one who is best to his wife
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(Imam Tirmidhi)
one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects. A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them. A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children, and shall be questioned about them. A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it. Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.” (Muslim)
The Muslim world today is in political turmoil, which in more simple terms is a crisis of leadership. We have people who call themselves leaders, but abuse their people, while people who are of good character are not in positions of leadership. I am also going to posit in this article that this crisis of leadership also starts at home. In the Muslim world today, we have homes led by men who abuse their families, and families in which there are good men who do not have the courage to lead their families. It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar that the Holy Prophet (SAW) said: “Beware, every one of you is a shepherd and every
The questioning here will not be about how those under our care performed. Rather, the questioning will be about how we treated,
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19 served, and rendered our trusts to those over whom we are guardians. This perspective is thus the foundation of the Islamic principle of “servant leadership”. A leader is not judged in the eyes of God by his level of might or authority we can see how Allah rendered Firaun’s might. Rather, a leader is one who humbly and sincerely looks after the interests of those under him.
1. I have children from a prior relationship. I don’t provide for (any/all) my children’s financial needs.
correct our attitudes and actions to bring ourselves more in line with the humility and character that God demands of us. Are you Firaun, or are you a good shepFinancialherd?
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So to help us on our journey to become better shepherd’s better guardians of our families and our households I’ve put together a questionnaire that may help us identify ways in which we may be drifting away from the ideal of a shepherd into the dystopia of a Pharoah, and what we can do to
2. I have a wife and child. My wife wants to work, so I expect her to provide for half the ex-
Abuse
3.penses.Ihave multiple wives. One of the wives works and she takes care of herself. The other I provide for financially to meet only her basic needs. My third wife lives in my mansion.
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husband earns just enough to pay our expenses. He has given me a credit card, and I use it liberally without regard to how much expense my husband can
In Islam, a man is obliged to provide for all of his offspring financially regardless of whether the child’s mother is currently in a relationship with the father. This is also regardless of whether the courts have granted visitation rights to the father or not, or whether the mother earns or not or earns more than the father.
4. I live with my parents and provide for the household expenses. My mother doesn’t like that my wife <xyz> and so I have prevented my wife from buying
5.<xyz>Iam
above are (taking into account that these are very simplistic), examples of what can be char-
very well off and make a comfortable living. When my wife asks to purchase something, I say no because it is frivolous. I recently bought an Audi for my-
6.self.My
acterized as financial abuse. Financial abuse is when one party afflicts hardship, suffering, or inequality on another party via financial means.
A man is also obliged to provide all living expenses for his wife, and should in no way expect his wife to cover all or part of the expenses. Even if the wife is charitable and contributes, he should nonetheless
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Allafford.ofthe
21 ةزملةزهُكلليو ۥهددعولَامعجَىلَّٱ ۥهلَخٱۥلَامنٱبسيَ
On the other hand, a wife owes her husband trust with regards to his property. Spending or demanding
beyond his means (in the case where a husband is diligently working to earn and fulfill needs to the best of his ability but Allah has not enriched him), is also a form of financial abuse. On the flip-side, withholding provision from your wife, and not providing for her according to your ability (within reason and equitably), is also a form of financial abuse.
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Woe to every scorner and mocker. Who collects wealth and [continuously] counts it. He thinks that his wealth will make him immortal.Saheeh International (104: 1 3)
strive for and feel an obligation to provide for his wife’s needs.
In the case of multiple marriages or multiple children through those marriages, the husband is obliged to treat the wives and children equally giving each according to their needs, and equally beyond that to the best of his ability.
DUA FOR PARENTS
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Most of the duas are of the prophets, but some are from normal people. Some are instructions to appropriately ask what is needed. One of them is a child’s dua for his parents. Stated in Surah Isra 17:24 a profound set of words - it not only asks for mercy for parents but does the opposite
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By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta
23 W e all want Allah subhanahuwata’ latoacceptourprayers.WeaskAllahbecause iserful.weareweakandHeispow-Weareneedy,andHegenerous.Therearemanyprayersor duas stated in the Quran.
Theyoung.gross
and kind and did whatever was in their means to raise that kid. But the interesting word used here is “as they” or “Kama”( )امك implying the possibility of the opposite. This is saying that even if this child is humbling themselves and asking Allah to be merciful to his or her parents, it is not a get out of free jail pass for the parents. The word ‘Kama’( )امكor ‘asthey’)is the clause suggests that the child is asking his or her parents to be treated same as they have treated the child when he or she was weak and vulnerable, and wouldn't have survived without the parents’ empathetic upbringings. So, if the parents were unkind and selfish, they will be treated the same - this
24 in the same words. This sets the precedent that Allah knows all and is watching us and over us. ايرغصنِايبركَمامهحْرٱبرلقوةحْرلٱنمللَّٱحانجامهلضفخٱو٤٢ Andbehumblewiththemoutof mercy,andpray, “MyLord!Be whenmercifultothemastheyraisedmeIwasyoung. ”17:24
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Translation Dr.MustafaKhattab, theClearQuran
The words of the dua are very humbling and thought provoking. It talks about the child asking Allah to be merciful to his or her parents, as they have raised him or her from when he or she was assumption would be that the parents were empathetic
Be
25 امهحْرٱبرلقو ايرغصنِايبركَم
to them
suggests, treat your children as you want to be treated by Allah meaning with compassion and mercy.
My Lord! merciful as they raised young. byAllah.
in front
we
Him. So as
17:24 time,
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Allah is as powerful as He is merciful; are vulnerable and weak of this dua
me when I was
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Due to Covid, I, unfortunately, was unable to invite people over for dinner for an awfully long time. So I thought why not invite some over to dinner. The notion was to have an open house style party.
By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta
27 S
o, whose idea was it to invite sixty five people to your home at one shot? Hmm. Mine! Who else would dare to have such a crazy idea!
You must be thinking I'm going cuckoo.
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The idea of having an open house was floated by my Khala (aunt) who did this often and especially around Eid days. This plan allows both host and guests to have an easygoing and wholesome experience. Guests are welcome at a specified time frame, yet they can come and go as they wish, and dishes are mostly self served. I liked this concept because of its flexibility.AsIalready mentioned, our guest count was sixty five. Manageable for my khala 100% for her niece -me - not so much. To my defence, I tried to shorten the invites to a manageable size, but there were many people who needed to be invited. So, we decided to have two setups of thirty to thirty five peo-
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ple each, including us. I guessed it would be a challenge. Was it a wedding party? Nope, not at all. South Asian weddings start with a hundred people, if modest, otherwise five hundred or more is normal.Please!Do not get dizzy. How do we have so many people on our list for a wedding? Don’t think that we invite our bus driver, and mailman to keep up the count (not that there is any problem in inviting them.) Usually, service providers like maids, drivers, and cooks, are invited to the wedding, and that’s considered normal in South Asian society. Not to fill the count, but to celebrate together. However the list has friends and relatives of the
ternet. It’s a simple lesson. I never learned it. I selected two recipes from the internet. They seemed easy. They were until I had to multiply them nine times. Multiplying a recipe nine times is not fun. Prep and cooking time exceptionally increases as the volume of food increases. Whether you are a novice or a seasoned cook this takes time a lot more than you budgeted for. What fun would it be if everything goes without a hitch? That's what happened next. The next issue was to refrigerate the cooked food. It needed space. If you ever studied machinery, you would know, they all have limitations. Refrigerators need air to
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29 hosts, of the groom, of the bride , our and their in laws, neighbors and more. I will leave it here. Every dinner requires food. We South Asians love food. Thanks to the Mughal empire, our food is not only rich in history and flavor, but also in unhealthy fats. Regardless of whether I invite a few or many people, I must cook enough to feed them fully. There is no excuse for a shortage of food. At least in my Amind.wise person once mentioned that what looks good on paper is not necessarily the same in reality and also to never try new recipes when inviting people over. Especially if the recipe is from the in-
Thankfully my friend’s refrigerator was the life saver that day. Food distribution not only saved the food, but also my back and feet, which was toiling in front of the stove for hours. Events come and go, and so do people. What is important is to keep healthy communications with people. Who knows, our gift of a smile, or an invitation to share a moment together makes the day for someone. Who knows what that person is experiencing that day. Keep it simple, keep it open, keep it moderate. Simple things are the best. Remember that hadith's most beloved deed is the one which is small, but con-
For me I have another list of people ready to be invited, and I hope I have learned my lesson to not burden anyone or any machines. I should remember my own advice though. Keep it simple, keep it open, keep it moderate. We will see. In’Sha’Allah.
30 flow around to keep our food cold. Overstuffing them can spoil food and exhaust the machine.
sistent.
A long time ago a wise person gave me a tip about a universal rule of inviting people. That is, every time you invite people, subtract 10 % from the final count. Even though you have cordially invited your full guest list, inevitably, some will not show up. Unfortunately, this has happened to me more than once. For example, a
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Postscript:
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family of five with three teenagers or three adult males can show up as Mr. & Mrs. And meaning if you have invited ten families, it means your food requirements drastically reduce, leaving a lot of food left over at the end of the party. Over cooking is not ideal unless you do not want to cook for the next few weeks :D
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