So, Whose Idea Was That Anyways

By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta

So, whose idea was it to invite sixtyfive people to your home at one shot? Hmm. Mine! Who else would dare to have such a crazy idea!

You must be thinking I'm going cuckoo.

Due to Covid, I, unfortunately, was unable to invite people over for dinner for an awfully long time. So I thought why not invite some over to dinner. The notion was to have an open house style party.

The idea of having an open house was floated by my Khala (aunt) who did this often and especially around Eid days. This plan allows both host and guests to have an easygoing and wholesome experience. Guests are welcome at a specified time frame, yet they can come and go as they wish, and dishes are mostly self served. I liked this concept because of its flexibility.

As I already mentioned, our guest count was sixty-five. Manageable for my khala- 100% - for her niece -me - not so much. To my defence, I tried to shorten the invites to a manageable size, but there were many people who needed to be invited. So, we decided to have two setups of thirty to thirty-five people each, including us. I guessed it would be a challenge.

Was it a wedding party? Nope, not at all. South Asian weddings start with a hundred people, if modest, otherwise five hundred or more is normal.

Please! Do not get dizzy. How do we have so many people on our list for a wedding? Don’t think that we invite our bus driver, and mailman to keep up the count (not that there is any problem in inviting them.) Usually, service providers like maids, drivers, and cooks, are invited to the wedding, and that’s considered normal in South Asian society. Not to fill the count, but to celebrate together. However the list has friends and relatives of the hosts, of the groom, of the bride , our and their in-laws, neighbors and more. I will leave it here.

Every dinner requires food. We South Asians love food. Thanks to the Mughal empire, our food is not only rich in history and flavor, but also in unhealthy fats. Regardless of whether I invite a few or many people, I must cook enough to feed them fully. There is no excuse for a shortage of food. At least in my mind.

A wise person once mentioned that what looks good on paper is not necessarily the same in reality and also to never try new recipes when inviting people over. Especially if the recipe is from the internet. It’s a simple lesson. I never learned it.

I selected two recipes from the internet. They seemed easy. They were - until I had to multiply them nine times. Multiplying a recipe nine times is not fun. Prep and cooking time exceptionally increases as the volume of food increases. Whether you are a novice or a seasoned cook this takes time a lot more than you budgeted for.

What fun would it be if everything goes without a hitch? That's what happened next. The next issue was to refrigerate the cooked food. It needed space.

If you ever studied machinery, you would know, they all have limitations. Refrigerators need air to flow around to keep our food cold. Overstuffing them can spoil food and exhaust the machine.

Thankfully my friend’s refrigerator was the life saver that day. Food distribution not only saved the food, but also my back and feet, which was toiling in front of the stove for hours.

Events come and go, and so do people. What is important is to keep healthy communications with people. Who knows, our gift of a smile, or an invitation to share a moment together makes the day for someone. Who knows what that person is experiencing that day. Keep it simple, keep it open, keep it moderate. Simple things are the best. Remember that hadith's most beloved deed is the one which is small , but consistent.

For me I have another list of people ready to be invited, and I hope I have learned my lesson to not burden anyone or any machines. I should remember my own advice though. Keep it simple, keep it open, keep it moderate. We will see. In’Sha’Allah.

Postscript:

A long time ago a wise person gave me a tip about a universal rule of inviting people. That is, every time you invite people, subtract 10 % from the final count. Even though you have cordially invited your full guest list, inevitably, some will not show up. Unfortunately, this has happened to me more than once. For example, a family of five with three teenagers or three adult males can show up as Mr. & Mrs. And meaning if you have invited ten families, it means your food requirements drastically reduce, leaving a lot of food left over at the end of the party. Over cooking is not ideal - unless you do not want to cook for the next few weeks :D

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash