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Your Issues Your Voice

Summer 2022

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eading the Quran, we

often come across verses we have read before, but regardless of how many times we read these verses, at times, we uncover something new, something intriguing, something fascinating. It feels like a eureka moment. We say, “Why haven’t I seen this, or read this before?”. We have read those verses several times before, but we weren't able to make that connection, that discovery, which we did now. This is the miracle of the Quran. It gradually reveals itself to Continued on page 3)

(Continued from page 2)

its readers. Recently I was reading the Quran, reading Surah-e kahf, and the 10th ayah stated a dua by the people of the cave. It suddenly dawned on me that these are the words and requests of those young people who ran from their persecutor, and now were hiding in the cave asking for help from their Lord Almighty. It made me think about duas and statements of regular people and prophets which are mentioned in the Quran. Many of them are prophets; like Adam, Nuh, Yunus, Yusuf, Ibrahim,and Musa (as). It also includes the statements, duas, and speech of Maryam bint Imran, Queen of Sheba, Luqman, ZulQarnain and more. I wondered why Allah added the words of people beside prophets, though pious, to be part of this book. To be part of the history and future of readers lives

We also

who read this book. Their statements are and will be

believe that when we

read by millions with the utmost of respect and rev-

ask Allah and we ex-

erence. These words would be pondered over and implemented in countless lives. It is a sheer honor.

This says a lot about our Lord, Allah. He loves us, He

press our pains, or our sufferings, our intimate fears, or our happiness, Allah responds and He an-

recognizes us, and He listens to us, whether we shout

swers; regardless how

at the top of our lungs or whisper in the darkest hour

insignificant we think

alone. It shows that our thoughts and speech matters.

our speech is.”

It shows that nothing is hidden from our God. So, if we use our speech for betterment of this world, and (Continued on page 4)

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(Continued from page 3)

people - even though we didn’t get the honorable mentions - we might be highlighted on the day of judgement in the honor roll to be seen by millions. We also believe that when we ask Allah and we express our pains, or our sufferings, our intimate fears, or our happiness, Allah responds and He answers; regardless of how insignificant we

think our speech is. It matters. It Matters to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. ٠١ ‫َر َشدًۭ إ‬

َ‫إ ْذ َأ َوى ألْ ِف ْت َي ُة إ ََل ألْ َكه ِْف فَقَالُو ۟إ َربَّنَا ٓ َءإ ِتنَا ِمن َّ َُّل َنك َر ْ َْح ًۭة َوه ِ َّْي لَنَا ِم ْن َأ ْم ِرَن‬ ِ ِ

‘Remember’ when those youths took refuge in the cave, and said, “Our Lord! Grant us mercy from Yourself and guide us rightly through our ordeal.” ( 18:10)— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran

We have just celebrated Eid and the next Eid is coming soon InShaAllah. In the meantime, we have brought forward for you how to budget in these troubled times. ‘Health Education- Hikmah or Hype”’ is an age appropriate guideline for educators and parents to teach children health. ‘Seeking Mental Health’ where it is taboo is tackled by Rabia and ‘Why do I Write’ is as the title says. I hope you’ll enjoy this issue as well. I would love if you read, share as a family and comment to us at northwestmuslim@gmail.com, on our Facebook Page (NorthWest Muslim Magazine) and instagram (@northwestmuslim). Find our published issues @: https://issuu.com/northwestmuslim

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, LAYOUT, DESIGN & ILLUSTRATIONS: Shaista Khurshid

EDITOR & PROOFREADER:

Beenish Khurshid & Harris Nami

CONTENTS & ARTICLES BY: Beenish Khurshid, Rabia Saad & Shaista Khurshid 5

C ONTENT /A BOUT U S

Editor’s Note!

About Seeking Mental Health

Health Education

Budgeting in Turbulent Times

Why Do I Write !

www. Quran.com , & www.Sunnah.com

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https://www.instagram.com/northwestmuslim/

northwestmuslim@gmail.com

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By: Rabia Saad, Karachi, Pakistan

here are new debates around non-western

perspectives related to mental health issues. These debates have become important because in South Asian countries, particularly in Pakistan, there are segments of people who either completely negate mental health as a problem or selec-

[

tively acknowledge it. As part of my academic research, when I floated the idea of

“A number of international universities are now study- mental health grieving South Asian perspectives in order to initiate the ances in our society, process of inclusion.” one of the research

participants instantaneously called it a ‘foreign’ and ‘imposed’ idea. A number of international universities are now studying South Asian perspectives in order to initiate the process of inclusion. I believe that this inclusion will not be simple because the ma(Continued on page 10)

(Continued from page 9)

is still negligible. So the problem becomes,

jor problem is how South Asian minds

that even those who are going to the ther-

identify and recognize mental health is-

apists cannot fully approach the solution

sues in the first place.

because they cannot talk about their suffering within close family or friends cir-

A majority of uninformed minds only see

cle. Where should people get the support

the signs of extreme craziness, extreme

system from?

sadness or extreme anger. What is not vis-

ible as mental health problems are the

For writing this article I talked to one of

wrong life decisions, distasteful choices in

my colleagues who held a view that the

practical life matters, passive attitude to-

decline of the joint family system was re-

wards a productive life or even a reactive

sponsible for this growing isolation in fam-

attitude (not proactive). Rather, these

ilies. He says that earlier, within joint fami-

problems are labeled through various

ly systems, when people had a chance to

forms of blame game and not simply ap-

quarrel over minor or major family mat-

proached as mental disturbance.

ters, they were able to vent their feelings. Today, people are not able to vent. And

Depression and anxiety are unfortunately

the more they hold on to their emotions,

considered an imported idea in South Asian perspective. What is not publicly visible is the

[

”Depression and anxiety are unfortunately considered an imported idea in South Asian perspective.”

growing tendency the more these emotions play with their

of young people seeking therapies. Re-

mind.

portedly, they are doing so without informing their families at home, or their so-

He further added that many therapists

cial circles. Evolved media messages have

have even experimented by making their

helped in reducing the stigma of seeking

(Continued on page 11)

help for mental health issues, but its scale 10

(Continued from page 10)

domestic violence, jobless and strained

patients go through simulation activities

financial situations, etc. Unfortunately, as

where they have to confront situations. By

a society we are content in choosing to

doing so, they are made to realize that the

become a social burden but find it difficult

situation which they were trying to avoid

to work out accessible options of seeking

has already happened to them and they

medical help for soothing our minds.

have been able to overcome it. It helps in

With active social media discourse, the

building mental strength rather than being

conversation is changing and people are

more vulnerable. But as a matter of

[

“Unfortunately, as a society we are content in choosing to become a social burden but find it difficult to work out accessible options of seeking medical help for soothing our minds.”

fact, this colleague was contradicted by another col-

talking about the practicality of mental

league, according to whom this compari-

health help. The only need is to own the

son with earlier joint family systems is

causes which are not born in the west but

nothing more than baseless nostalgia.

within the four walls of our homes.

There has always been at least one person

Once the ideas will stop being foreign or

in the family who carried all signs of dis-

alien, we will begin to benefit from the so-

turbed mental health but the family struc-

lutions.

ture protected those attitudes, thus only adding to the stigma. Multiple generations of South Asian families have been affected by leading a life or being a part of a life that got messed up by wrong individuals, and family decisions, stubborn attitudes, extreme anger, 11

Health Education - Hikmah Or Hype

Photo By Heather Barnes on Unsplash

By: Shaista Khurshid, Calgary, Alberta

e are blessed to live in a place

where we can educate our children without breaking our banks. Our masjids, imams, and learned folks help us build our foundations of Islamic education. Even though most of our education base is covered by outsourcing, there are still many areas where we, as parents, need to educate our children. We can also outsource it to some-

one who is trustworthy and educated in Islamic knowledge. One of these topics which needs to be discussed with every child at an appropriate age is health education. Since Muslims have neglected this crucial education for a long time, the gap has long been filled by unislamic and (Continued on page 14)

[

(Continued from page 13)

through various phases of their lives,

flawed knowledge bases. This ne-

they should be helped to understand

glect is coming to haunt us badly. Un-

the nuances of getting married or

fortunately, when left alone by the

having children of their own.

caregivers, this education can be

The burning question here is, who is

taught by individuals who themselves

going to open this pandora's box?

might be unaware of its require-

School does play its part but their

ments. For this reason, any individual

teachings might not be in accordance

can fall through the cracks, potential-

with the Quran and Sunnah. Islamic

ly getting harmed, both physically

school also does its job to an extent

and spiritually.

but still there is plenty left to be

Cleanliness, purification, and rela-

taught.

tionships are not a simple matter, es-

We as parents are responsible for the

pecially when there is another person

well -being of our children. Our child

or a family involved. A child must be

belongs to Allah first as they are Allah’s creation and are

“When

we hold the hand of our baby, for the first time the one we gave birth to, or carried in our arms to safely bring home - this test begins.”

given to us as a test. “Your

wealth

and

children are only a

taught all of the above within the ap-

test, but Allah ˹alone˹ has a great re-

propriate time frame. For example,

ward.”(64:15) When we hold the

how to clean himself after using the

hand of our baby for the first time -

washroom, or how to take a bath by

the one we gave birth to, or have car-

himself. Or how to do wudhu, do

ried in our arms to safely bring home

ghusl, what is satr (minimum cover-

- this test begins.

ing requirements), how to be intimate, what are halal and haram rela-

tionships. Furthermore, as they go 14

(Continued on page 15)

(Continued from page 14)

I have compiled a rough guideline

What is this test? The test is, what are we going to do

[

with this sweet little bundle of joy? Are we going to educate them to be our future beneficiary (financial sup-

below of what a child should know at an approximate age level. Though be mindful, as each child is different, and each child grows at their own pace. I strongly

“The

test is, what are we going to do with this sweet little bundle of joy? Are we going to educate him to be our future beneficiary”

recommend parents to pay attention

the

port in our old age), or to be Allah’s

pace of their children’s physical,

servant? Will we choose to make

mental, emotional and spiritual de-

him or her successful with worldly

velopment. One child cannot be

possession and education or make

compared with another.

them into a righteous, pious citizen?

Keep in mind the curiosity level of

Will we make him or her into some-

the child too. Some may take the

one who can only benefit himself or

knowledge and run with it, while

the one who is beneficial to others at

some take time to process it; while

large? Will we raise them into a criti-

others will ask questions to satisfy

cal thinker or an arrogant or selfish

their curiosity.

person? These questions are critical, and we must think about it. And as we plan for their professional and financial future, we should also plan for their physical, spiritual and emotional future. As we will be asked about them on the day of resurrec-

tion in front of all. 15

For this, we need to be our child’s best friend with a positive mindset. Our children should be comfortable with us, so much so that they can reach us confidently and freely discuss with us anything they are in(Continued on page 16)

•

(Continued from page 15)

By age 12: What is ghusl taharah and why it’s needed, managing of

quisitive about.

hair by keeping them groomed,

We, as their parents, should pass down

cleanliness and removal of underarm

the gift of appropriate knowledge com-

and pubic hair

passionately. Remember - these are necessary matters to teach. We should not be •

shy about it; instead be that parent who

By age 15: Know the difference be-

can confidently educate our children with

tween halal and haram relationships

the tools necessary to live their lives.

and the difference of male and female friendships and their etiquettes with reason

•

guidelines of intimate relationships

By age 5: How to clean themselves

and why intimacy is needed and im-

after using the bathroom, wash

portant, but also what is haram and

hands before and after eating, brush

halal.

daily

•

By age 7: Take a bath or shower,

By 18: The child should understand the importance of responsibility and

know how to clean themselves with

their role in this world and have

help and start to learn to do wudu,

some tools to lead his or her future

and know what satr is

•

By age 16: They should know the

life effectively.

By age 9: Know what the funda-

There are many books available by Mus-

mentals of ghusl are, cutting of nails

(Continued on page 17)

(Continued from page 16)

lim authors; you can read them and educate your child. One such book is The Miracle of Life by Fatima M. D'Oyen (The Islamic foundation United Kingdom).

Footnote:

—ٌۭ‫إن َّ َما ٓ أَ ْم َ َٰو لُ ُ ُْك َوأَ ْول َ ٰـدُ ُ ُْك ِف ْتنَ ٌۭة ۚ َوأ َّ َُّلل ِعندَ ُهۥٓ أَ ْج ٌر َع ِظي‬ ِ Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran (64:14)

. -

Photo By Larisa Birta on Unsplash

By Beenish Khurshid, SanFrancisco, California income. By hook or by crook, whether we try to avoid it or not, in our budgets today, we have to

eeping one's finances straight on account for the tax we must pay to the ultra-rich a normal day is difficult. In to-

elite.

day’s world, it has become beyond challenging. Many of us have made more money than we ever have in our life, yet are further behind from our

We can be bitter about the situation, or we can be practical, and safeguard ourselves and our fami-

life goals than we ever have been. Most of us,

lies, and prepare ourselves as best we can for an

though, are still recovering from job loss and in-

uncertain and turbulent future.

stability during COVID.

The bar has moved, and we may never return to times like before. What was an expected life goal before may no longer be an option, and certain

Start by listing your yearly income, your yearly taxes, and a list of all major monthly, weekly, and yearly expenses. Use excel, or Google Sheets as a tool. My budget outline looks something like this:

needs may no longer be possible to meet. We now live in an age where the top 1% of society takes home 25% (and growing) of our combined

Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash

(Continued on page 19)

(Continued from page 18)

Copy the above table into a spreadsheet, and fill it with your own values (the formulas above will auto(Continued on page 20)

(Continued from page 19)

populate with results!). The result should look something like this:

Things we haven’t included for brevity, but you should include: clothing, home maintenance, travel, and interest payments on credit cards.

(Continued on page 21)

(Continued from page 20)

Here, we see that the sample family is able to save about 25% of their income. That’s great! Depending on your life goals, you should save between 20% and 30% of your income every year. If you are living at home, try and save 50% of your income. If you have a lot of responsibilities, try still to save 15% in your budget. Here’s why: (1) unexpected expenses (2) inflation (3) missed items in your budget. Between these 3 items, you’ll see that 15% evaporates quite quickly, leaving you with nothing.

Hold on now! We have a basic budget together, but we still have two more important topics to cover

to help you with your financial planning: (1) Budgeting major life expenses (2) Planning for inflation.

We should all have life goals. It can be as simple as dying in peace, or as involved as a degree in law, and a family business to leave your children. For even the simplest of goals, financial preparation is necessary.

Here is a sample: 1.

Buy a car

Buy a home

Pay for children’s college

You can use current costs as a base estimate, but the further away a goal is, the more you should estimate in your budget. This is both because of inflation, and price uncertainty. It is better to over-budget rather than under budget when you are unsure! (Continued on page 22)

(Continued from page 21)

For example, if you want to buy a car today, you can budget $30,000. But if you want to buy a car 5 years from now, you should budget closer to $40,000 to $50,000.

That is a big number! But don’t worry - you have time to meet these goals, and even if you don’t meet your goals, life goes on, and happiness can be found beyond the bounds of our goals.

So if you wanted to start saving for these goals today, you’d need to save $5,333 a month. Seems out of reach right?

(Continued on page 23)

(Continued from page 22)

Maybe you need to delay some goals. Maybe you need to lower your target. Maybe some goals need to be cut out all together.

$750 a month means saving $9000 per year.

We can see in our yearly budget above that we are just shy of saving this amount!

This means we need to tighten our belts just a bit to get us closer to our target goal.

(Continued on page 24)

(Continued from page 23)

(Continued on page 25)

(Continued from page 24)

1.Negotiate your Salary Here, we’ve decided to renegotiate our phone plan, and try to find a cheaper one. We’ve also

The best way to negotiate your salary is to find a

decided to hold back on eating out, and reducing

competing offer. Update your resume. Start talk-

the amount of packaged foods we are going to

ing to people. Look for openings. Apply. Prepare

buy. We could have also chosen to find a cheaper for the interview, and land offers.

Even if your existing company doesn’t match the

rental - but rent prices have shot up, and holding

on to a rent-controlled rental is probably the most offer, you have a new, higher paying job that will help you reach your financial and family goals

economically prudent choice.

faster. Look for other areas to cut. You need only make small cuts. But make sure that for each cut you

What if you are in a field that doesn’t have com-

make in the table, you have a concrete plan on

petitive salaries and lots of jobs? You’ll have to

achieving it. It is easy to change numbers on a

consider other strategies for raising your income:

page, much harder to change numbers in your bank account! Don’t commit to so many small changes that your life starts becoming stressful.

A. Re-train in a different field

Instead, try to aim for a few, but impactful cuts.

B. Start a side-hustle

These are some of the options you can try consid-

ering to help you reach your long term financial goals.

At the end of the day, our provisions are from Al-

Let’s say we want to add back in our target of

lah SWT. We have because he provides. All we

owning a home. We can’t possibly cut enough to save the $4000 a month we need to to buy a small property in the next 10 years. So let's see if we

can find a way to improve our income.

can do is make dua, and tie our proverbial camel. Let’s do our part to become financially sound, and then put our trust in Allah.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

By: Shaista Khurshid, Calgary, Alberta

{

“Should I change them in-

wanted to understand the laws Allah has made for humanity and how it helps us to stay huhave always been

man, given that the man made

an avid reader since my child-

laws usually have loopholes, or

hood. I liked to read. I think

sometimes they do not work

when parents, caregivers or

fairly and equally for all people.

teachers introduce different ex- Museums and libraries are mag-

ploration and critical thinking

methods to their kids, including bookshelves full of books, feel reading, it is a wonderful, life-

desire to learn and a passionate new life, or a new world. heart to follow, this gift keeps

them out of my

giving.

where they can live a life of

like a magical palace, where

long gift to them. With a sincere every room has a new theme,

to words and get

head. Put it

nets to me. The houses with

The lifelong habit of reading pushed me to have understand-

For me, the mysteries of the universe, like the nature of ob-

ing, opinions, and voice. I thought, I challenged, I con-

their own, may-

jects and humans, intrigued me. nected the dots, I spoke; until

be for some

I desired to understand people, people around me started to

time.”

so I observed humanity and its

say, Shaista, you have so much

nuances. I still do. I wanted to

to say, write!

explore the complexity of life. I 27

(Continued on page 28)

(Continued from page 27)

creative. I know myself, and one of my

Write? An intriguing word, a mystery in it-

weaknesses among many is perfectionism.

self. Does it have to do something with me? It means I am a scared little cat. The one Would it belong to me, ever? It all seemed

who never wants to get out of her little cub-

like nonsense.

by assigned to her, because she is deathly

I thought and thought. Why should I? What will be the purpose of it? What benefit will

it bring to anyone? Do I have something credible to say? Can I write something to lift someone up or sooth and calm their mind or fazed hearts? I do not know. There must be a purpose. There must be a need. I keep on thinking and thinking, and it feels like this quest is not for me. In the meantime, my head keeps on generating stories;

{

vivid, enticing, and full of mysteries and

scared of not producing anything but perfection. Though I deeply understand the illusion of perfectionism as there is nothing in this world that we do which is perfect and will never be. That's how this world is designed. The only one who is perfect is Allah. Do I have let go of my fear, my illusion of perfection, yes I do, big time. I am working on it wholeheartedly, you bet. Fear is terrifying, however baseless it is. Is it terrifying for me to think that people will

“Though I deeply understand the illusion of perfection. There is nothing in this world which we do, that is perfect and will never be. That's how this world is designed. The only one who is perfect is Allah.”

read my words

and form

suspense. They force me to think, should I their opinions? Yes it is. It is totally dauntchange them into words and get them out

ing when your intimate words, which are

of my head? Put it where they can live a life living inside you for so long, get out into of their own, maybe for some time.

(Continued on page 29)

Perfection and fear are killers of anything 28

(Continued from page 28)

finally have their life of their own; they are

this huge world where they will be judged

rejected.

and compared. Then there will be opinions

I do not know why I have an itch to write

about you, open, honest, and brutal. Opin-

{

something. Why do I want to have an opin-

ions about you, your writing, and your fam-

ion about most things? Why do

“But

this is not all so bad. Fear has multiple facets. There are

other monsters lurking under the bed.”

I want to reach

out to people and say some-

ily.

thing? Uplift their day, cheer them up, give

You feel like an imposter. You think, why

something tangible, make their lives easier.

did you start this whole mess? Why did you People are busy and they do not need my write that? Why? You don’t belong here.

words. They have videos and sound bytes.

This is a dignified place for authors and

Entertainment is available for them twenty-

writers, who bring forward something au-

four seven. Maybe my words do not bring

thentic. This place is not for you.

them what I want for them. They might not need me. But I need myself. I know who I

But this is not all so bad. Fear has multiple

am, and what I want is to write. Good or

facets. There are other monsters lurking

bad. Simple or complex, helpful, or not, not

under the bed. What if, what if only, no one ever sees your work. Your work, to which you have put so much effort in. You poured your soul into it. Your time, your heart , your sanity. You keep on writing and writing. Until your fingers gave way. You lived with your character. You sobbed on their dilemma. You ap-

so amazing, but it is my writing and it is a

work in progress. You bet! Besides, if I or people like me don’t want to write, then how would a reader like me, read, and explore the nuances of the world and beyond myself ? Thought provoking? Maybe.

plauded at their triumphs and now when 29